Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: parting is such sweet sorrow,

The Armory Show’s Commissioned Artist Susan Collis on ‘Fiddling While Rome Burns’

When we found the charming Susan Collis at last night’s Armory Art Show kickoff party at the Jumeirah Essex House — she's the show’s commissioned artist this year — we asked her how she find the objects — screws, nails, and bits of wood splattered with paint — that she replicates in her works using gems and precious metals? Dumpsters, of course. “Actually, in England, we call them ‘skips.’ There was one very near to my studio, and I happened to be walking to the studio in reasonably smart clothes, and I just saw these things, and I thought, ‘I’ve got to have them.’ But luckily, I work with assistants, so I went and got the assistants.” She made her assistants go dumpster-diving? “I went with them as well! I’m not quite that cruel. I would have just felt terribly embarrassed going and doing my dumpster-diving. I like that expression, by the way. Is that a real expression? Dumpster-diving? In the UK, we call it skip-trawling.”

Collis urges caution during "skip" forays with her staff. “I look at these really disgusting pieces of wood and I imagine that rats had peed on them or something," she told us. "In the studio, we held them with rubber gloves the whole time. I do actually encourage my assistants to wear gloves. I am quite a good boss." Speaking of business, we mentioned that it felt a bit ironic for the show to be sponsored by Jumeirah Hotels, which is based in recently-bankrupt Dubai. Collis she laughed. “It does feel a little bit like fiddling while Rome burns, but if that’s what you do, then you just have to keep doing it, right? If you’re a fiddler, that is.”

Read more posts by Charlotte Cowles

Filed Under: armory art week, art, party chat, people, susan collis

CAPTION THIS: Tonight, On An All New Bones

Indeed, it seems we used this very same title for a post last summer about the ever-present Courtney Love, and yet, it seems ever so appropriate to reuse the notion of “Celebrity Bones.” Renee Zellweger, seen above busy practicing for her upcoming movie Don’t Let Any Sh*t Come Out of Your Ass, and Reese Witherspoon, who is withering as a result of never touching a spoon with any food in it. (Nailed it.)

(via The Daily Mail)

Controversial New Museum Opening Dazzles, Kicking Off Armory Arts Week

All is forgiven — apparently. The happy buzz that greeted the opening of the New Museum’s “Skin Fruit” show appeared to close the book, at least for now, on the show’s controversial genesis. The exhibition features contemporary artworks from the collection of Greek billionaire Dakis Joannou, a trustee of the museum, and it was curated by artist Jeff Koons, one of the artists Joannou collects. A curious and curiously large mix of celebrities and art-worlders — Cyndi Lauper, Whitney Museum biennial curator Francesco Bonami, U2’s the Edge, and collectors Don and Mera Rubell — were among those who streamed in last night.

The exhibition, when announced, was met with criticism on the grounds that it risked turning the institution into a for-hire “vanity” museum. Joannou is a longtime trustee of the institution and a funder of some of its shows. Plus, the Joannou exhibition is the first in a series called “the Imaginary Museum” that will put private collections on view. The choice of Koons as curator was also attacked by some.

The ethical brouhaha didn’t prevent — or perhaps it helped create — a Disneyland-like line outside the institution last night. Once inside, the ethical question was somewhat trumped by the quality and rarity of at least some of the works on view: several Robert Gobers, a shimmering sculpture by Liza Lou of a revolutionary in hot pants, a giant Charles Ray of a woman in a power suit, various Kara Walkers, Matthew Barneys, Paul McCarthys. Joannou, often under the tutelage of dealer turned museum director Jeffrey Deitch, collected a who’s who of the last generation of art early in their careers. The collection is a string on figurative sculpture, which is to say many bodies, whether they be shrouded, injured, buried, giant, or mutated, held sway in the galleries.

Museum director Lisa Philips said, “For us, it was always about the art. People have to experience it for themselves” to see why the show was worth bringing to the museum. Some vocal opponents — names unmentioned — have actually apologized since seeing the show, she says. And “a couple of people who wondered how Jeff could ... add anything are super-impressed,” she added.

At an after-party at the Bowery Hotel, a long line of well-wishers swarmed around Joannou, who said “the response has been incredible.” While Joannou said he was shocked to see his collection without the Koons works — the artist included virtually none of his own work in the show — but “what Jeff Koons brought to the show was his mind,” and it enabled Joannou to see his own works in a new light. Koons doesn’t look like he’s had his fill of the museum life: He’ll curate a show, opening March 18 at Gagosian’s 980 Madison Avenue space, of the works of Chicago artist Ed Paschke. Koons worked as a studio assistant for Paschke, a post-Pop painter of ferocious, neon-colored images, earlier in his career.

The New Museum opening was just one of several events that kicked off Armory Arts week yesterday. Uptown, the Art Dealers Association of America art show had Steven Schwarzman, Donald Marron, and Michael Ovitz shopping the aisles. Scope art fair held a packed opening party at Quality Meats, and Pulse celebrated at the Rivington Hotel and the Jumeirah Essex House Hotel. “There is a sense that wishful thinking will lead to success,” said Alexis Hubshman, of the art-fair extravaganza. “But maybe that’s okay.”

Related: 61 Minutes With Dakis Joannou [NYM]

Read more posts by Alexandra Peers

Filed Under: armory art week, art, dakis joannou, jeff koons, new museum, party report

Are You Familiar With ‘Haul’ Vloggers?

You know how girls give makeup tutorials on YouTube? A similar phenomenon exists for clothes. They're called "haul videos" and consist of girls videotaping themselves showing the world what they just bought at the mall. Like, they go home, plop down in front of their webcams, and pull their new purchases out of shopping bags. And discuss each item in way too much detail.

This is a natural evolution of the personal-style blogging phenomenon, popularized by sites such as Sea of Shoes and Fashion Toast, in which girls just take pictures of themselves wearing clothes and rocking style SO HARD. Except you may find more stylistic variation among personal-style blogs. Haul vloggers seem to be primarily of one species: the girl who flatirons her hair, wears too-thick eye shimmer up to her eyebrows, drowns in eyeliner, and gets her brows waxed regularly. She also wears trendy-but-ugly nail polish and probably gets chemical peels at regular monthly intervals. Haul vloggers seem to favor, typically, cheap stores like Forever 21 and Target. Also, they don't ever seem to wear half the trendy crap they're constantly buying. And to think these people think they need this stuff, when what they need most of all are lives, hobbies, jobs, maybe cats.

Here's an example of a popular haul vlog that's been viewed almost 8,000 times. She thinks her hair looks bad, but actually it looks damn near perfect.

The Latest Trend In Shopping: Have You Heard Of "Haul Videos"? [Slaves to Fashion/Glamour]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: oversharing, trends

Crazy Oscar Facts, the Chart

Hot on the heels of last week's fascinating Oscar chart comes this week's fascinating Oscar chart. We've got that chart fever.
[FirstShowing]

Read more posts by Edith Zimmerman

Filed Under: movies, chart, clickables, oscar facts, oscar race

The Ballad of Uptown Gerry, City Chicken

The last thing author Elyssa East expected to find when she left her Washington Heights apartment on a procrastination jag was a chicken. But there it was, on the side of a road in Fort Tryon Park, in the late afternoon of February 17. "My heart literally skipped a beat," recalls East, author of the new book Dogtown, a nonfiction account of the eponymous Massachusetts ghost town. "It was just sitting there in the snow, kind of looking at me. I was like, poor chicken. I knew I had to get it out of there." After all, it was cold, and a car could've hit the chicken — and East, whose father owns a farm in Marietta, Georgia, has a history of rescuing "creatures," as she calls them. (One time she removed a butterfly from a cat's mouth.) So, naturally, East tweeted an SOS, and included a picture of the black-and-white bird. Then she tweeted again: "People I'm standing w/ the chicken. I have called 311. @SusanOrlean can you help rescue the Ft Tryon Park chicken? This isn't a joke."

Orlean, of course, is well-known for raising chickens at her place in the Hudson Valley, having written a lengthy New Yorker piece on the subject last September. (You can watch her interacting with her birds on a video on the site.) But though Orlean is "following" East on Twitter, she wasn't signed in at that moment and didn't see East's tweet. Fortunately, a Twitter intermediary sent Orlean a Facebook message about the chicken emergency, which Orlean happened to see while taking a break from work. Less than an hour had passed since East's first tweet; Orlean sent her a direct message and offered to take the bird in — as long as East could get it to her. "I've got plenty of space," Orlean says.

So East took the chicken home — in her tote bag — and tried to find a ride. Thanks to the 311 call, a park ranger named Gerry came by, who said there were reports for two weeks of a live chicken in the park with the same coloring. Gerry speculated the bird might've been acquired for a Santeria ritual and escaped — he'd recently rescued a duck from one — and he expressed amazement that the multitude of feral cats in the park hadn't gotten to her. That night East, who lives with her fiancé, made a nest out of newspapers for the chicken and went to sleep. In the morning, she awoke "to find chicken standing in her box!" she tweeted. "Very exciting development. She had eaten & spilled some of her rice & drank some of her h20." Later a red-tailed hawk flew at East's window, apparently expecting to snatch the chicken away ("City living is wild, I tell ya"). Then "Uptown Gerry," as she was now calling her, pooped. Soon enough, the entirety of her kitchen floor was a biohazard.

By the afternoon, East had secured transportation courtesy of another author on Twitter, Jessica DuLong, and on Friday (the 19th) the threesome set off on a road trip in DuLong's Honda. (But not before East fed the chicken scrambled eggs. She says online sources said it was okay.) Though East and Orlean were friendly on Twitter, the two had never met, and East felt apprehensive on the drive up. "I was definitely like, Oh my God, I'm taking Susan Orlean a chicken!" she says. "What if the chicken dies? Will Susan Orlean hate me? I was actually worried. There was a lot on the line." But Orlean was "really cool," she adds, and has "gorgeous chickens. Next to hers, my chicken definitely looked ghetto-tastic."

"To be honest, the minute I saw her I was pretty pessimistic, because she just wasn't normal," Orlean remembers. "She was very weak — she didn't walk around or eat. I kept her separate from my chickens because I didn't know if she had some sort of contagious disease." The bird seemed to perk up for awhile, but by the middle of last week, Orlean's au pair was force-feeding the chicken with a syringe. An appointment was made with a nearby avian vet. And then, last Thursday, Uptown Gerry died. "It was sad," Orlean says. "But the thing that made me feel better is that from the time Elyssa found her till she died she was very warm and comfortable and wasn't trying to cross a street in Manhattan. Nobody was pestering her."

East feels the same — "She got to be a chicken until the very end" — and uploaded a chicken pattern to the background of her Twitter page. "It's the funniest thing to say this little chicken changed my life, but she did," East says. "So many people wanted to help her and were so concerned about her. I'm just as cynical as the next person, but it did make me feel better about the human race."

Read more posts by Sean Kennedy

Filed Under: intel, animanhattan, chickens, elyssa east, susan orlean, uptown gerry

Post-apocalypse sirens, "Mad Men" wives in Paris (AP)

AP - From sirens of the apocalypse to sixties chic housewives, picture perfect on the arms of their "Mad Men," Paris had something for everyone on day one of the City of Light's fall-winter 2010-11 ready-to-wear displays Wednesday.

John Thain Reduced to Being Quoted Anonymously in ‘House & Home’ Section

“A hard-nosed businessman client of mine said he had looked at one of his rugs after a very hard day and had found it somehow comforting in times of trouble,” says Winitz. “They are so much more than ways of covering the floor.” [FT]

Related: About John Thain’s Rug

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: white men with rugs, people who have lost everything and are now sitting at a rickety table in the offices of a bankrupt financial institution, people who wish they had done things differently, sad things, so much more than ways of covering the floor

Rachel Zoe Can Look Voluminous

Rachel Zoe attended a celebration for Vera Wang's new store in Los Angeles wearing this voluminous black-and-white outfit.

Would you wear these fluffy layers?

Read more posts by Sharon Clott

Filed Under: look of the day, rachel zoe

Michael Musto Partied With His 550 Closest Friends Last Night

Last night at the party Michael Urie and Joan Rivers hosted to celebrate Michael Musto's 25th anniversary at the Village Voice, pretty much everyone was full of nice things to say about a columnist who doesn't exactly specialize in doing the same. "It's amazing that you can just command people to just show up in public and kiss your ass and they'll do it," Musto marveled to us, scanning the room full of gays, drag queens, and downtown celebrities. "It's everything I ever dreamed of! It's also my worst nightmare." Michael, you see, used to be very shy. For someone whose job it is to be a man about town, he at least used to rarely be the center of attention. "My favorite thing about Michael is that he goes to parties and does not actually party," Sirius XM Radio host Derek Hartley observed, and it's true: Michael is almost invariably the best person to sit next to at a party — but doing so usually involves sitting in a back corner of the room.

Former Daily News Ben Widdicombe told us a cute story that encapsulated Michael's former very particular brand of shyness:

"As a young Australian gay journalist who arrived in the city in 1998, Michael was the first person I ever interviewed in the city. I interviewed him for an Australian gay newspaper which is now defunct called Outrage," Widdicombe told us. "I was so impressed that Michael agreed to have lunch with me — which he paid for — at the Bowery Bar. To Australian readers he was a huge star and still is, because the Village Voice is available in Australia, but you would pay like $5. They would send like a hundred copies to this one store in the suburbs of the city. And Michael was kind of a legend to the cognoscenti of Australia.

"The thing that I remember most about that first interview was before lunch I went up in the Village Voice elevator with him, and he was so shy. We were in the freight elevator, which is quite large, and we were the only two people in it. I stood next to him, and he shuffled away from me, so I shuffled away from him and he shuffled away further and I shuffled away further, and literally by the time we got to the floor her was on, it was me in one corner and him in the other because I thought I was invading his personal space. And he was facing the wall!"

Shortly after Widdicombe told us this story, Michael took the stage (with his messenger bag, as ever, dangling off one shoulder). "You people are my 550 closest friends!" he howled into the microphone like he's been emceeing weddings his whole life. "And you have never abandoned me, thank you! But some of you did push me out of photos tonight." Not long afterward, the burlesque dancer Dirty Martini did her act for him, and as hundreds of guests cheered him on, the Village Voice columnist gamely shoved his face between her swinging breasts. (See photo.) We couldn't really imagine this same person hiding in the corner of an elevator in his own office building. But then again, this is the guy who recently spoofed our own nude Lindsay Lohan cover with a nude photo shoot of his own, lying on newsstands all over the city. It goes to show that this city can make anybody braver than they already are — even someone who's been blazing his own trail for a quarter of a century.

Read more posts by Chris Rovzar

Filed Under: party chat, joan rivers, media, michael musto, village voice

Turns Out Megan Fox’s On Set Chemistry With Optimus Prime Never Went Anywhere

In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar, actress Megan Fox divulged all the dirty details of her sex life. Dim the lights and put on some smooth jazz, because it is about to get HOT:

“I’ve only been with two men my entire life. My childhood sweetheart and Brian. I can never have sex with someone that I don’t love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I’ve never even come close to having a one-night stand.”

Only two guys? Megan, between you and the now celibate Lady Gaga, this decade’s sexpots are really letting everyone down.

Also, I’m pretty sure Megan is actually mistaken. I was at a friend’s party once and this awesome guy was telling everyone how he totally got with that Megan Fox chick one time when he saw her at a bar with his old fraternity buddies and she was like totally in to him and then he never called her after. He said it was sweet, bro.

That guy couldn’t have been lying. There’s no way. His parents have a boat.

Chicks Can Actually Wear a Lot of Gareth Pugh’s New Collection

Gareth Pugh seems to have sobered up. The British wunderkind who used to show ruffs you could serve a three-course buffet on, and other things that wouldn't fit in a midsize car, showed a pretty wearable but still cool collection in Paris today. Last season he sent models down the runway with giant feathered headdresses, but this season he merely smeared soot on their foreheads and roots. The almost-over-the-knee boots are a nice alternative to last fall's thigh-highs, which probably never caught on because they often mostly look ridiculous and slutty.

Photo: Imaxtree

See Gareth Pugh's complete fall 2010 collection.

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: paris at last, designers, fall 2010, gareth pugh, paris fashion week

Hank Paulson Is Talking About His Stomach Problems Again

For anyone left unsated by the recent blanket coverage of the president's recent physical, who may want a little more information about the health of other figures in the United States government in general and whose curiosity extends toward ex-members of the administration, in particular the Treasury, ABC's Jake Tapper found time in an interview with former secretary Hank Paulson to address the famed audible, violent, and repeated barfing scene in Todd Purdum's Vanity Fair story earlier this year. It was not, Hank helpfully clarifies, a stomach virus that caused his bout of energetic ralphing.

It was because he was working too hard. For you, the people.

What was it — nerves?
All my life, if I’m really exhausted — it doesn’t happen much — I will have dry heaves. When I was seeing Purdum I had been in Asia [for a quick trip]. I was working. I got off the plane at 2 in the morning. I was in the office a few hours later working and I just had a bout of the dry heaves.

One more thing:

I’ll say something: I didn’t miss a single day or an hour because of illness, and I worked around the clock for two and a half years.

Puking all the while. Loudly, audibly, ferociously, with great exhilaration. Now you know.

The D.A.M [ABC News via Dealbreaker via Heidi N. Moore/Twitter]
Earlier: Hank Paulson’s Valley of the Dolls Moment

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: tell us about your hernia, business, early and awesome, former secretaries of the treasury, goldman sachs, hank paulson, henry paulson

Review: 'Alice' through a drearier looking glass (AP)

AP - In Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland," Alice has grown — not by "drink me" potion or "eat me" cake — into a 19-year-old girl.

Latisse Signs Claire Danes; Dries Van Noten’s Simple, Clean Faces

HAIR
• Latisse signed Claire Danes as the company's new spokesperson. Brooke Shields has promoted the FDA-approved lash-growing prescription product since last year. [StyleList]

• Kelly Osbourne dyed her hair lavender. It almost looks like gray, which is the trendiest hue to be right now. [StyleWatch/People]

MAKEUP
• Makeup artist Peter Phillips added to the makeup-less trend on the runways today by creating a simple, natural look for the Dries Van Noten show. [WWD]

SKIN
• Britain's youngest Botox user is a teenager that is now 16 years old. Her mother administered the injections beginning when she was 15. [Daily Mail UK]

FRAGRANCE
• John Galliano announced that the label will launch an eau de toilette version of its signature scent, which will be geared toward a younger audience. It will debut first in France this April, and in the United States next year. [WWD]

• Tinsley Mortimer wants to create her own fragrance. Currently she is a brand ambassador for Dior cosmetics. [Page Six/NYP]

Read more posts by Sharon Clott

Filed Under: beauty marks, beauty, botox, brooke shields, claire danes, dries van noten, fragrance, hair, john galliano, kelly osbourne, latisse, makeup, peter phillips, skin, tinsley mortimer

'Enlightened Sexism' explores image of women (AP)

AP - "Enlightened Sexism: The Seductive Message that Feminism's Work Is Done" (Times Books, 368 pages, $26), by Susan J. Douglas: The title of Susan Douglas' newest work on women and their images in pop culture cuts brilliantly to the chase.

Johnny Weir to Ride Yak, Then Meet With F.I.T.

Johnny Weir has said he wants to attend F.I.T. and start his own fashion line. Turns out those are serious threats. He tells Crushable:

Ever since I was old enough to understand what higher eduction was, I understood that it was one of the most important things to do as a young person. And going to school for something that I am interested in is very important to me.

Weir plans to meet with the school this summer and see if he can take classes while he traverses the globe figure skating. Ultimately, he doesn't want to design skating costumes.

I want to have a real fashion line. I think people in life often get typecast or pigeon-holed as the first job they choose in life. I don’t want that. Whatever I do next, I won’t associate with figure skating.

Right. And we can't wait to get home to watch the game tonight. But before Weir gets serious about his so-called unitard-free life:

[A]fter all this touring is over, I want to take a vacation. I’m planning to go to Mongolia because I want to ride a yak, then I’m going to Russia after that to visit with some friend and do some partying. Then I want to just lay on the beach. I hope. I’ll probably end up going to the Jersey Shore for a month with Snooki. I’ve never been to the Jersey Shore before and I live in New Jersey.

He might want to hire a bodyguard.

Exclusive: Johnny Weir's Fashionable Future [Crushable]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: ice diva, fit, johnny weir

Ed Asner remains high on 'Up'

After Marrying the Nanny, Ethan Hawke Had to Find a New Babysitter

He filled the position internally, according to People:

As she gets older, Ethan Hawke's daughter Maya Ray is a great help to her father."Maya is about to be 12, so she's getting pretty good with the baby," said Hawke, referring his and wife Ryan Shawhughes's 1½-year-old, Clementine.

Well, this should serve as a warning to all movie stars. Never spoil your help by marrying them.

Ethan Hawke's Built-In Babysitter: His Daughter [People]

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: the most important people in the world, ethan hawke

Soldier sues, says 'Hurt Locker' is his story

The Fashion Blogger Who Has to Dress Up

Ryo Miyamoto is a fashion blogger, and as such, feels it's imperative that he look the part. "I have to look a little bit nice because If I don't look good, people will say, 'Oh, what the heck is this guy?'" He has a point. Ryo does admit that he errs on the cheap side and most of his clothes are vintage or from the street. (Apparently, Japanese street is far, far chicer than ours, going by his outfit.) Check out the video to see more on his style.

Read more posts by Amina Akhtar

Filed Under: video look book, jonah green, video

Michael Emerson Stars In Lost Prequel, “1992 Prison Training Video”

This amazing early-90s prison training video teaches aspiring wardens the best way to handle an unruly prisoner: Bring in creepy-ass Michael Emerson from Lost. He’ll not only calm the prisoner down, but he’ll also convince the prisoner he’s protecting his friends by murdering employees at competing prisons.

In this example, he doesn’t succeed. Poor, poor Higgins. You’re so dead.

Keyshia Cole, Cavaliers' Gibson Announce Baby Boy

Singer Keyshia Cole and Cleveland Cavaliers point guard Daniel Gibson have announced the birth of their son.

The making of OK Go's new viral video

Kathryn Amberleigh Defies the Recession

When most F.I.T. design students finally get their degree, they spend some under-the-radar time working for other designers while figuring out when and how they’ll make the first move to strike out on their own. But not so with Kathryn Kim, the solo designer behind the two-year-old shoe label Kathryn Amberleigh. After getting her BFA in Fashion Design and logging just one internship at Catherine Malandrino, the Seoul-born shoe obsessive skipped straight to the spotlight. “I graduated and had millions of designs in my journal that I wanted to see come to life. I couldn’t wait to get out there and get started.”

And get started she did. Since her debut collection for spring '08, Kathryn, along with her business partner and husband Howard, has opened up a shop on upper Mott Street (in an area that’s seen more than a few store closures lately), expanded sales into Tokyo, and had her line picked up by Shopbop. Her shoes have also graced the pages of Lucky, NYLON, Vice Magazine, WWD Accessories, and even had a twirl on Gossip Girl. And the most impressive part? Most of the handcrafted designs — which come in everything from a simple flat to a neon-pink spike-heel platform — hover around the $250 range. Kathryn’s next goal? A retail location in London. Global recession be damned.

Read more posts by Natalie Hormilla

Filed Under: talent scout, designers, kathryn amberleigh, kathryn kim, shoes, slideshow

Burt Reynolds Released From Hospital After Bypass Surgery

The actor was released from a Florida hospital after a scheduled procedure.

'Hurt Locker' producer barred

A Club in New Orleans Banned Jersey Shore Clothes

Republic nightclub in New Orleans has a sign on the door that reads, "If it's on Jersey Shore it's not coming through the door: No Affliction, No Ed Hardy, No Christian Audigier, No Exceptions." A seemingly brilliant move; we commend the establishment's severe distaste of Shore-approved style. But the new policy is also kind of a tragedy, because one of the most fun things to do at nightclubs is make fun of what people are wearing. [Racked]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: gorillas with hair gel, affliction, christian audigier, designers, ed hardy, jersey shore, tv

“Dancing with the Stars” Hits Its C-List Reality Star Stride (and Buzz Aldrin)

Another year, another season of Dancing with the Stars, everyone’s favorite reality dance competition featuring America’s most detested and sometimes beloved C-List celebrities, and hosted by our favorite AFV host of all time, Tom Bergeron. Below, we give you the list of those scheduled to appear on DWTS, as well as our handy and highly accurate odds of who is most likely to win. Place your bets foot forward…

Kate Gosselin, America’s Most Unwelcome Vagina House of Dramacakes: Another blond victim, albeit of a more sinister variety. Kate Gosselin has really hit the publicity jackpot with landing herself on the show, and we can already see her scripted romance with her dancing partner coming to life in the tabloid pages. Either that, or her and Niecy are gonna throw down (more likely. Also Niecy would kill her.) Odds of Winning: 25/1

Evan Lysacek, Gold Medalist, Figure Skater: Well that didn’t take long, did it? Evan just wrapped up the gold medal at the Vancouver Olympics and is not taking himself and his fabulous Vera Wang designed wardrobe all the way to his hometown of Los Angeles, where he will attempt triple toe loops galore sans the use of his trusty skates. We sincerely hope Plushenko has been cast on his home country’s hit show “Танцы со звездами,” And the fact that Johnny Weir was not cast alongside him should be filed under “national travesty.” Odds of Winning: 1/1

Aiden Turner, English Actor, All My Children: Aiden has plenty of things going for him. The good looks, the thick, shiny hair, the Daytime Emmy nomination and working relationship with former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell. He’s a soap actor, which means he’s got the stamina needed to last long hours on the dancing set. The only problem? Who the hell is Aiden Turner? Odds of Winning: 15/1

Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut: Buzz Aldrin is a name synonymous with AMERICAN HERO, as he was the second man on the moon (if you believe it). And the man is 80 years old! And he walked on the f**king moon. Odds of Winning: 100/80

Chad Ochocinco, Wide Receiver, Cincinatti Bengals: Wide receivers are typically fit flesh walls of a man, whose skin can barely contain their rippling muscle fibers. Chad Ochocinco is just such a man. Chances are he’ll be able to sustain the vigorous Dancing with the Stars work-out regimen given his athletic background, and will easily be able to catch his dancing partner when she’s shot out of a cannon for sweeps week. Odds of Winning: 8/5

Erin Andrews, ESPN Newscaster, Object of Peep Tommery: She’s blond and a victim, so she’ll probably get fairly far. Odds of Winning: 7/1

Niecy Nash, Actress, Host. It should be clear that we are rooting for Niecy all the way, as it is still our dream to time travel back to 4 years ago and have her help us out with a garage sale Clean House style. Odds of Winning: 8/1

Nicole Scherzinger, Pussycat Doll. Will probably f**k her way to 5th place. Odds of Winning: 5/1

Pamela Anderson, Oscar Winning Actress. Will f**k her way to 9th place. Odds of Winning: 36DD/22/34

Shannen Doherty, Actress. Watching the bitch fireworks between her and Kate Gosselin will be all I need to watch this entire season. Odds of Winning: 3/1

Jake Pavelka, Bachelor, Pilot. If he wins this thing, Tenley will 100 percent definitely commit suicide. Don’t do it for Tenley, Jake. Odds of Winning: 25/Sob

Pour Out A Travel Sized Bottle Of Vodka For Captain Sully Today

America’s hero pilot Captain Sully Sullenberger announced he is retiring from conquering the skies today. I, for one, teared up a bit upon hearing this news. I spent the last four months playing a game I made up called “Sully Roulette” where I would fly a random U.S. Airways flight in hopes I would have the legendary pilot in the cockpit. It never worked out for me, and now I’m like $68,000 in the hole. I did, however, rack up enough frequent flyer points to buy this bookcase in the shape of King Tut’s sarcophagus from Sky Mall.

So what will Sully do next? Let’s hope his first move isn’t Dancing With The Stars like fellow American hero Buzz Aldrin. He should just star in the movie version of his book Highest Duty. I already designed the poster for it, as you’ll see on the right. Most likely, though, he will just sit back, sip some ice cold lemonade, and have some afternoon “rockstar sex” with the Mrs. He’s earned it.

Sully, we’re sad to see you go. I’m guessing there are some geese in the NY metro area high-fiving today. Forget them. Godspeed, captain.

Many nominees, new stars feed Oscar fashion frenzy (Reuters)

Lady Gaga, Cyndi Lauper urge women to be HIV aware

Lisa Gastineau puts skin cancer behind her

Miuccia Prada Questions Existence of Feminism

Speaking to reporters following her breasty fall 2010 show, Miuccia Prada called herself a former feminist. "Feminism?" she said, "[I]t doesn’t really exist anymore, does it?" [Times UK]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: quotables, designers, miuccia prada

Yes Dear Totally Predicted The Tiger Woods Scandal

And to think, this whole time, you thought Yes Dear was a throwaway sitcom incapable of humor, let alone clairvoyant powers to foresee the sexual transgressions of our sports idols? How naive of you. Mike O’Malley saw that scandal coming as clearly as he saw Chris “The Eagle” Jackson miss that actuator on the last leg of the Aggro-Crag.

What’s next? Other thing that happens on Yes Dear happens?? (I don’t know another thing that happens on Yes Dear, but you can imagine how the joke would’ve gone).

Guess he couldn’t time the Lutzes to “Rape Me”?

(via Videogum)

Taylor Jacobson Fired From Rachel Zoe Inc. Over Missing Clothes?

Did anyone doubt Rachel Zoe and Taylor Jacobson's divorce was "far from amicable"? "Page Six" reports today that it was, even though Jacobson tried to make it seem like she was just moving on by choice for the sake of her career and to not have to be annoyed to all hell every day by Brad's incompetence. Zoe reportedly fired Jacobson, as tabloids suspected, after a fight over designer clothes disappearing from the closet. The implication is that she either lost or stole them, but wasn't it Brad's job to keep track of them? If she did permanently borrow them for herself, good on her, because she always looked great. We'll miss her next season. [Page Six/NYP]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: meow, brad goreski, rachel zoe, taylor jacobson

The film festival that puts women first

Toonz Animation logo

LOST RECAP: Season 6, Episode 6, “Sundown”

This is a Recap of Lost Season 6, Episode 6, entitled “Sundown”, originally airing March 2, 2010. It is full of spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the episode, don’t read on, cause I’ll spoil the fact that the episode was sponsored by Sun Chips and included no fewer than eight deliberate product shots of characters pointing at Sun Chips, then Ben’s coffin was filled with Sun Chips. Oops! Spoiled that too. See?

I assumed the episode “Sundown” was gonna be about Sun (like Season 1’s “House of the Rising Sun”), and I was already prepared to rip on the terrible pun title with my own list of upcoming episodes (“Blackjack”, “Ben’d It Like Beckham”, “Kate-O Kaelin”) but Lost managed to cut all the Sun scenes and replace them with Sayid scenes at the last minute, and the episode ended up being less “Sundown” and more “East Of Sayiden”.

The episode opens on Uncle Sayid in New Thousand Four arriving at the house of his brother Omer and Omer’s wife, Sayid’s childhood sweetheart Nadia (yesss, from American Pie, people who hear her name in 1999 and say the joke she’s heard a million times). Sayid gives the kids their Australia gifts — boomerangs with pictures of kangaroos playing digeridoos on them — and tells his brother about this job raveling the world murdering oil contracts, and Nadia gloats that Omer has opened up a new dry cleaners, but Omer suddenly gets an urgent phone call and nervously storms off (my friend joked “Red wine?? Sorry, I have to take this…”)

Turns out, Omer has borrowed money from murderous loan sharks so he could open the dry cleaners, and unfortunately, this isn’t a euphemism for a drug problem — he’s actually risking his life to expand his dry cleaning empire. This double-great idea somehow backfires, and with his life in danger, Omer begs Sayid to help get the goons off his back, not by borrowing his money, but by borrowing his murder. Sayid refuses, saying “I am not that man anymore — I’m not killing anyone ever again…until at least one more commercial.”

Sidenote: It was subtle, but I think Sayid and Nadia have a liiiiiiiiitttttle thing for one another. Seriously — I rewound the DVR and watched their scenes seven times, and if you pause the screen on certain specific frames and walk up really close to the tv, you can see minute details that indicate that they may have at one time had feelings for one another. The show hid it well, but I miss no detail, no matter how microsocopic. I am the Sherlock Holmes of everything.

Anyway…the 2004 segment climaxes when two bald goons approach Sayid, throw him in a car, drive him to a shady mob-style restaurant, and introduce him to their leader… WAIT! Don’t tell me… 2/3 of the way through the episode, new-2004 timeline, and really slow face reveal after hearing the person’s voice… it’s gonna be someone from the island! I’m gonna sayyyy…… Rousseau’s partner who had his arm ripped off by the monster! Ahhhh…Keamy! The bounty hunter who shot Ben’s daughter. Why wouldn’t he be on the mainland shadily ripping off Iraqi cleaning entrepreneurs?

Keamy feigns sympathy for the “accident” that hospitalized Omer (pair of scissors fell out of a dress shirt) and explains that Omer still owes him money, but before he can say “the dude’s name should be Owe-More!”, Sayid swipes his captor’s gun, kills the two goons, and points it at Keamy, who quickly agrees to call off Omer’s debt. Unfortunately, Keamy only cooked his eggs for three seconds, and he dies of salmonella poisoning a split second before Sayid shoots him. Sayid then follows a voice and opens a freezer to find, tied up on the ground, none other than Jin. LOST. Wait, not “LOST” yet? Damn — a lot must’ve happened this week, huh?

After the jump, a Star Trek fight, Sayid makes a choice, and a lot of people choose to be dead:

TEMPLE BANNEDIN

Meanwhile, in the temple, Sayid finally confronts Dogen and demands some answers, and Dogen laughs “Oh, haha! That poison pill gag? Classic! You were so gonna eat it and die! Ahhhh…butseriously… inside everyone is a scale of good and evil, and us burning you was a test of that and you failed so, sorry.” Dogen curiously doesn’t say “you tested evil,” just, “yours tipped the wrong way,” which I thought was significant, until Sayid caused a bunch of evil crap to happen (getting to that later). Sayid and Dogen engage in fisticuffs (cue this music!), and when Dogen has Sayid pinned down, his baseball rolls off his table and he suddenly decides “Ah, the baseball roll — that means you’re banned from the temple, not murdered.”

Before Sayid can pack his bags (all he has are some boxers, toiletries, and a carry-on of death), Claire waltzes into the temple and demands that Dogen meet with Dark Locke, but Dogen wants Locke to come to him, because Dogen’s tired of driving all the way out to Locke’s place and paying the $5.50 for the bridge, but Locke can’t come there cause he’s waiting for the cable guy to show up, so they can’t reach an agreement. Dogen’s afraid Locke will kill whoever he sends, and he can’t send Jack or Hurley cause they’ve flown the Lost coop, so he convinces Sayid to go and instructs him that if he still has any good left in him, he’ll do the right thing and stab the “evil incarnate” — who will appear as “one of your friends who died” — before he manages to talk. If that’s the only way you could kill my wife, she’d live forever — HELLO! [Tie Adjust]

Sayid blows past Kate (a running gag this season) and finally encounters Locke, who sinisterly manages to exclaim “Hi Sayid” before Sayid plunges Dogen’s knife into his chest. Locke removes the knife unscathed, and rather than kill Sayid, he takes the much nicer route and just convinces Sayid to deliver a message to the temple inhabitants, which will assuredly result in way more death. After deliberating exactly how many deaths he’d like to cause from his actions, because he’s Sayid, Sayid agrees.

THE SMOKE HITS THE FAN (TEMPLE)

Sayid brings a message back to the temple: leave the temple and join Dark Locke, or you’ll be killed at sundown. This creates a panic throughout the obviously already-paranoid commune members, and Dogen’s second in command dude tries in vain to convince people to stay because “He can’t come in here! Trust me – that magic rule is still in place.” Sayid returns Dogen’s knife to him, and totally calls him on his BS about trying to use other people to kill him, and when he asks why, Dogen launches into a prepared wedding speech about how he came to the island.

Dogen recounts how he was once promoted to Head Unnecessary Translator User at the bank he worked at, but got too drunk while celebrating and crashed his car after picking his son up from baseball practice. Jacob arrived at the child’s hospital room and convinced Dogen to take a job on the island, and in exchange, Dogen would never get to see his son ever again. Wait — shouldn’t the tradeoff for taking Jacob’s mysterious island job be something positive? Either way, Dogen doesn’t realize this, and long story short, he’s on the island, holding a baseball, and not answering Sayid’s original question with his rambly story. Sayid’s like, “That’s it?? I thought you were gonna say your son’s spirit is trapped in your magic baseball or something,” and drowns Dogen in the pool of resurrection (Zuh? Is he gonna come back to life? And/or be evil now? Or did Sayid remember to change the jacuzzi setting to “Not Resurrecting Pool”?)

Vice Templeman rushes in to find his leader dead in the pool and screams at Sayid “He was the only thing keeping it out! You’re gonna kill me aren–” and Sayid cuts his throat, adding “I know. And yes.” This cues Smokey to go on another rampage, and he blitzes through the temple and slaughters every unimportant character. Miles is rescued by Ilana and the Lapidus/Ben motley crew, and after Ben unsuccessfully tries to recruit Sayid to go with them — “There’s still time” / “Not for meeee….” — the group escapes the temple through the secret passageway in the rock wall (Zelda chime!)

Earlier in the episode, Kate finally meets face to face with Claire, who’s sitting in the temple’s Silence Of The Lambs lotion pit, and tells her “Good news! I took Aaron off the island and raised him myself! Aren’t you totally not gonna murder me for that?” and Claire gives her a look so disdainful, it briefly bumps her hair down to being her second most horrifying feature (Roasted! Two weeks in a row!!!) When the Smoke Monster shizz goes down, Kate runs to rescue Claire, but Claire says “we’ll be safer in here” and is proven right when Kate moves slightly into the pit and the smoke whizzes right over her head. Claire and Kate emerge from the pit intact, and join Sayid and Cindy the ex-stewardess in their merger with LockeCorp.

The episode concludes with Locke sinisterly assembling the temple survivors and leftover beach stragglers — but is he leading them off the island, as he says, or is he leading them somewhere else, like Being Killed Towne? Also, remember my ongoing theory that the “Man In Black” isn’t as expressly evil as he appears on the surface? It got repeatedly slammed against a stone pillar this week.

LOSTDS AND ENDS

– As destructive as Dark Locke has been, Jacob may not totally be off the hook as some innocent “good half” either. Which one of them ordered the Dharma massacre? Was it Jacob though Richard, was it Man In Black pulling a stunt, or was it Richard and the Others acting on their own without divine inspiration? It’d be cool if the theme of the show ends up being “All gods murder you.”

– On the sidelines this week: Sawyer (strained oblique), Richard (sprained MCL), Desmond (out indefinitely), and Hurley (healthy scratch)

– Jack makes an Easter-eggy appearance as a doctor at Omer’s hospital but doesn’t interact with Sayid, though he does presumably botch whatever he was on his way to do in the background.

– Most of the islanders who’ve appeared in new positions in the alternate 2004 have been nice — Ethan the regular doctor, Ben the teacher, Dogen the supportive parent — but Keamy was still a jerk. Maybe in the old reality, he did not make good eggs.

– Next Week On Lost: Ben finally “meets his demise”. Up until mid Season-5, if you had asked me to pick a favorite character, I would’ve very quickly responded “Ben,” simply because every episode with Ben in it was so noticeably more awesome than every episode at the time without Ben. But ever since that ridiculous murder-reflecting smoke episode, Ben’s been impotent in the sinister department, and all the mystique and Iago-like endearing villainy he used to represent is just totally gone. Now he’s just some dude caught in the middle of warring gods and possessed resurrected underlings, so it’s hard to find his character that special any more. Or maybe he’s just been setting us all up for the ULTIMATE BEN-ING?? Ehhh…I’m not placing any Bents (Ben bets).

Also, one final note: I’m going to be traveling for the next two weeks, starting next Monday, so the Lost Recaps are gonna take a two-week break. I really enjoy writing these posts and reading the comments from fellow obsessives, and I apologize if the lack of screengrabs from the show with added talking bubbles indicating the characters are saying something stupid inconveniences you, but I promise, I’ll recap the two episodes when I get back, and will resume regular Lost recapping duties for the final 8 episodes and the finale.

In the meantime — leave all “Sundown” episode thoughts, observations, questions, theories, favorite parts, favorite lines, and eulogies to Dogen and Lennon in the comments.

How To Lose At The Oscars In One Easy Step: The Hurt Locker Method

With the Oscars almost upon us and the chances of G.I. Joe sneaking in as an 11th hour 11th Best Picture nominee looking bleak, it seems that only The Hurt Locker has a shot at taking down Avatar. Well, it did… until one of the producers may have had a little too much boxed wine one night and started emailing Oscar voters and lobbying them to vote for his film. For some reason, the Academy frowns upon this type of thing:

A producer of the war story “The Hurt Locker” will not be allowed to attend Sunday’s Academy Awards because of e-mails he sent urging academy members to vote for his movie, Oscar overseers said Tuesday.

But Nicolas Chartier will receive an Oscar at a later date if “The Hurt Locker” wins best picture.

The executive committee of the producers branch of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences imposed the penalty on Chartier, who violated Oscar rules that prohibit mailings promoting a film and disparaging another.

Chartier sent an e-mail Feb. 19 to some academy members asking for their support for “The Hurt Locker,” “not a “$500 million film” — an obvious reference to blockbuster best-picture contender “Avatar.”

Whoops. I’m sure Chartier meant well, but things got out of hand when he started sending Evites to a “Dress as your least favorite character from Avatar (hint: all of them)” jungle mixer party and suggesting his friends join his new Facebook group “I lost my cell phone, so please send me your number and also vote for the Hurt Locker and not Avatar.”

The Academy shouldn’t ban Chartier. In fact, they should sit him right next to James Cameron for the entire broadcast so we get to see him squirm in his chair and pull out his collar and say “Uhhhhgggguuuhhhh.” If The Hurt Locker does win they should make Chartier deliver his speech while wearing that bomb defusing suit from the movie and jump on a trampoline for twelve minutes. Only then can he have his Oscar.

Jessica Simpson opens up about weight, John Mayer on 'Oprah'

Johnny Depp's simple life

The SNL Presidents Reunite To Talk About Financial Reform And Reagan’s Balls

Look, we’ve devoted enough time on this blog already to debating politics of creating the Consumer Financial Protection Agency (are they who I contact about getting a picture of a monkey riding a Segway on my debit card?). Just pretend you’re Canadian for five minutes and laugh at this Funny or Die all-star SNL reunion of Will Ferrell, Dana Carvey, Darrell Hammond, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Maya Rudolph, and Fred Armisen.

Also Jim Carrey plays ghost Reagan. You remember that classic SNL character of his, right? Sure you do.

Hey Ron Howard, you couldn’t fit in Jason Sudeikis‘ Joe Biden? Now I am REALLY outraged!

Driver says model assaulted him

EXCLUSIVE: Howard Stern's Tiger Woods Mistress Pageant Loses Contestant

?It?s all a bit chaotic at the moment, one of the girls pulled out," said a source.

Anne Valerie Hash starts Paris shows off light (AP)

AP - The City of Light's fall-winter 2010-2011 ready-to-wear shows got off to a featherweight start Wednesday with a delicate collection of layered transparencies by emerging French designer Anne Valerie Hash.

Britney Spears' Boyfriend 'Hates' Her Music

Sources overhear Jason Trawick dissing Brit's music in public.

Review: 'Battlefield: Bad Company 2' is a blast (AP)

AP - For the last few years, Activision's "Call of Duty" series has dominated video-game warfare. The latest chapter, "Modern Warfare 2," was the best-selling game of 2009, and it still leads the list of Xbox Live's most-played titles, joined in the top five by two earlier "CoD" releases.

Sarah Palin Turns Comedian on 'Tonight Show'

The former Republican vice presidential nominee turned into a standup comic on Jay Leno's "Tonight Show" stage Tuesday, dropping one-liners about the White House and Congress. 

"The Hurt Locker" director Kathryn Bigelow with actor Jeremy Renner