Jazz legend Herbie Hancock will be feted at a belated 70th birthday bash at Carnegie Hall that will highlight the revival of a major summer jazz festival in the Big Apple. The pianist,... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 27 Feb 2010 | 2:17 am
AP - Jazz legend Herbie Hancock will be feted at a belated 70th birthday bash at Carnegie Hall that will highlight the revival of a major summer jazz festival in the Big Apple. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 27 Feb 2010 | 2:16 am
LOS ANGELES - The chin is coming back to late-night on NBC. So is the desk, the couch and, the network fervently hopes, the audience. When Jay Leno reclaims "The Tonight Show" on... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 27 Feb 2010 | 12:41 am
LOS ANGELES - It was a winning night for "Precious" at the 41st NAACP Image Awards. The heart-wrenching tale of an illiterate and abused teen who finds hope in a Harlem classroom was... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 27 Feb 2010 | 12:37 am
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Independent movie "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire" swept the Image Awards on Friday, picking up six trophies including best movie and best actress... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 8:57 pm
It was a winning night for "Precious" at the 41st NAACP Image Awards. The heart-wrenching tale of an illiterate and abused teen who finds hope in a Harlem classroom was named outstanding Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 8:41 pm
Considering where all the accolades have been going recently, it wasn't much of a stretch to predict big things for Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire at the 41st Annual...
_ Comedy Series: "Tyler Perry's House of Payne" _ Actor in a comedy series: Daryl "Chill" Mitchell, "Brothers" _ Actress in a comedy series: Cassi Davis, "Tyler Perry's House of... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 8:13 pm
Have you guys seen The Thirteenth Floor? It’s a 1999 Craig Bierko vehicle centered around a portal to a virtual world where all the characters think they’re in 1937. The amount of space this movie occupies in our subconscious is disproportionate to its status in the sci-fi cannon. But someone at Caprica has clearly been watching it, too. Along with The Matrix, Sin City, eXistenZ, Mad Max, and more. You’ll recognize the references.
A few weeks ago, we accused the show of having an identity crisis for this same penchant: working in a mishmash of allusions to no discernible end. For the first half of the episode, it felt like Caprica had regressed. After last week’s heady twists, it fell back on melodrama, bad costuming, worse dialogue, and a caricature of a villainess. (Vesta, we’re looking at you.) But then came the boardroom scene, and we were back to being hooked.
This is the show’s bargain: Don’t pretend it’s ever going stop being cheesy, and it will deliver glimpses of bizarro genius you won’t see anywhere else.
Back to our regularly scheduled recapping!
The last time we saw Tamara, Adama’s avatar (created posthumously by one Daniel Graystone), she had no idea she was dead. She just wanted to find a way out of V world and feel the sunshine on her simulated skin. Now she’s tracked down a woman named Vesta who can help her get out, but Vesta’s in the middle of her shabby-chic Thunderdome playing Russian roulette. She shoots Tamara — which, in the V world, would normally de-res you back to the real one, but instead Tamara’s avatar starts bleeding. Intrigued, particularly when Tamara’s wound heals, Vesta, (who looks sort of like a creepy, aging Tinkerbell) says she and her Lost Boys will help.
But first, Tamara has to help them win a V-world game no one’s ever mastered. Welcome to New Cap City; it’s just like Caprica City, and updated in real time, only it looks like 1937, complete with its own Hindenburg-carrying shark-nosed P-40s. The goal of the game is unclear, but they think it's accumulating points, and plan on using Tamara’s in-world immortality to pull off a bank heist of the game’s resident fat cat, a late-stage Marlon Brando type with a pin curl. Yes, they actually use the phrase “fat cat.”
Tamara and Heracles, one of Vesta’s minions, manage to break into the vault and nab the loot. There, like Neo, Tamara discovers she has the power to change the rules of the game, de-resing two security guards with her mind. Vesta finds a newspaper about the MagLev bombing and enlightens the group. When Tamara realizes that her human body is dead and Vesta only wants to use her, she shoots everyone in the room but Heracles. She then tells him to relay a message to her Dad that she’s stuck in V world.
At the end of last week, Daniel Graystone was high on philanthropy and approval ratings, but his pledge to license the holobands for free just killed Graystone Industries’ primary revenue generator. Cyrus warns him that the board has called an emergency meeting. If he can’t come up with a solution, they’ll vote him out.
Daniel crashes the meeting with the Zoebot in tow and a plan: forget holobands. The hack sites are eating into the company’s margins anyway. Everyone goes to them because they’re free, “and the next generation coming up, they’ll expect it all to be free. We can’t own it forever.” The purpose of sci-fi is to create a fantasy of the future in which you can critique the present. BSG took aim at religion and war. Caprica’s references to the inability to control content online and the difficulty of monetizing technologies (hey there, Twitter!) are unexpected, but welcome.
Instead, Daniel proposes an innovation that will change the worlds: the Cylon. “This Cylon will become a tireless worker who won’t need to be paid, it won’t retire, it won’t get sick, it won’t have rights or objections or complaints ... ” Brand extension! Outsourcing! A robot servant class! The board still isn’t convinced about a fancy hunk o’ metal that costs millions of cubits. Daniel’s incredulous. “Are you seriously asking me the practical applications of creating another race that will walk beside us?” Um, maybe?
As a show of his dominance over this new race, Daniel orders the Cylon to rip off its arm. For split second, you actually empathize with the killer bot. Will Zoe’s avatar choose this moment to disobey its master, foreshadowing the holocaust to come? No, she wrenches her arm free of its socket and flings it on the boardroom table, oil spurting like blood from its shoulder. Quality. Television.
This episode pared things down to just three story lines. The third, Joseph Adama’s deteriorating relationship with his son, was by far the weakest link. The underlying issues — grief, assimilation, parenting — are inherently interesting. It’s just that we still don’t believe Esai Morales. He plays Joseph as either maudlin or distracted, which sounds like someone in mourning, except it doesn’t quite seem like it’s done on purpose.
Joseph tries to reconnect on a father-son fishing trip, but that ends when some kid spits out racial slurs and Willie pummels his face into a rock. Apparently what the kid really needs is some old-world Tauron last rites for his mom and sister. After the wake (some clapping, an old lady with neck tats sings), the priest administers tattoos.
Heracles knocks on the door in the middle of all the ethnic healing to give Joseph Tamara’s message. The last shot of the show is daddy’s girl turned gun moll walking through the desolate streets of New Cap City in stacked heels with a tommy gun on her hip — the best walking dead girl since Willow resurrected Buffy.
The chin is coming back to late-night on NBC. So is the desk, the couch and, the network fervently hopes, the audience. When Jay Leno reclaims "The Tonight Show" on Monday, NBC is... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 7:58 pm
The Image Awards recognized diversity in the arts during a ceremony Friday filled with emotion and song. Gospel singer Tamela Mann performed a rousing musical tribute to Tyler Perry, who Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 7:37 pm
American Idol contestants are, at best, young and idealistic, and at worst, well, young and deluded, and sadly, last night's eliminated singer Tyler Grady falls into the second...
Walter Koenig said that his son Andrew "took his own life."
A source close to the investigation into the death of Andrew Koenig tells E! News that the 41-year-old actor's...
Jim Carrey's family just experienced a very fortunate event.
The 47-year-old actor became a first-time grandpa Friday when his daughter Jane welcomed her first child with her...
MTV's Mexican channel says an episode of "South Park" that depicts the country's flag and president will be aired now that the government has given its approval. MTV says the "Pinewood... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 6:21 pm
Fashion Wire Daily - We got a burst of signature Versace triumphant rock and roll tailoring in the latest collection from the Milan house, a ramped up biker gal marching to gutsy beat laid down by a self-confident designer.
Fashion Wire Daily - We got a burst of signature Versace triumphant rock and roll tailoring in the latest collection from the Milan house, a ramped up biker gal marching to gutsy beat laid down by a self-confident designer.
AP - Daniel Radcliffe is explaining why he has just filmed a public service announcement for The Trevor Project, the leading organization focusing on suicide prevention efforts among gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered youth.
Reuters - There are unending reasons why "genius" will forever be attached to Jimi Hendrix -- not the least of which is the voluminous amount of first-rate material that's been released in the 40 years since the guitar legend's death. "Valleys of Neptune," an hour-plus of unreleased material that marks the first foray in Experience Hendrix's Jimi Hendrix Catalog Project with Sony Legacy, is one of the most satisfying and illuminating of these posthumous exercises. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 26 Feb 2010 | 5:10 pm
February 5: Rumors that have been bouncing around Albany for a couple of weeks about a supposedly explosive story being prepared by the Timesfinally get aired by the Daily News' Liz Benjamin and Observer writer John Koblin on his Twitter feed. (It was also reportedly mentioned by Post columnist Fred Dicker on his Albany radio show.) February 7: This is the day that, according to David Paterson's office, he spoke on the phone with an ex-girlfriend of his aide and close confidant David Johnson. The woman was due in court the next day to pursue an order of protection against Johnson, whom she accused of abusing her on Halloween of 2009. "She told the police that Mr. Johnson, who is 6-foot-7, had choked her, stripped her of much of her clothing, smashed her against a mirrored dresser and taken two telephones from her to prevent her from calling for help," the Times reported later. According to the woman's lawyer, the conversation she had with Paterson that day was about a minute long, and didn't address the court case. "If you need me," Paterson is reported to have said. "I'm here for you." The woman's lawyer would not say whether the call influenced her feelings about pursuing the order of protection. February 8: The woman (who has been named publicly, but we will leave that out here) does not turn up in court, and the case for the order of protection is dismissed. February 9: The New York Times meets with Paterson and asks him about the October altercation between Johnson and his ex-girlfriend. According to the Post, the paper has been talking to the woman for a while. February 9: Rumors about the theoretical Times story reach a fever pitch. Unrelated, underreported, and unsourced rumors about Paterson's personal life appear in print and online. February 9: After Paterson publicly addresses the rumors of a devastating story, the Times does, too, pointing out that Paterson said the paper had not asked about the most salacious rumors, and huffily noting that "obviously we are not responsible for what other news organizations are reporting." February 10: Paterson implies to Don Imus that Andrew Cuomo is behind the rumors. February 16: The Timespublishes its first piece to widespread media disappointment. It centers upon David Johnson, and references his past "altercations" with women, including the Halloween incident with his unnamed ex-girlfriend. The story reports that the ex felt pressured by state troopers not to pursue an order of protection — citing court documents — but also reports that she would "not comment further" to the paper regarding the incident. "Obviously, it was a breakup," the paper quotes Paterson as saying about the incident. "They know a number of people in common, and it just sounded like breakups you hear about all the time." February 19: The Times runs a second story that is regarded as an "exposé," which consists of a roundup of anecdotes about general laziness, cronyism, strange use of campaign funds, and incompetence. February 22: The press notes that no Democratic officials are in attendance as Paterson starts having campaign events. Despite the fact that the two Times pieces so far have not administered the coup de grâce, Paterson appears to have the stink of death on him. February 24: The most damaging, and ultimately career-ending, Times story hits. The fact that Paterson spoke to his aide's ex-girlfriend the day before she failed to show up in court pursuing an order of protection against the aide is perceived by many as an improper use of influence. Fellow Democratic politicians begin to call for him to drop out of the race for reelection, and one aide quits. February 26: Paterson drops out of the race officially.
The rumors about an "explosive" Times piece started weeks before Paterson actually made his damning phone call. While lead reporter Danny Hakim politely declined to comment on the issue, we hear from inside the Times that there was no strategy to the timing or content of the three separate investigative stories. And the timeline bears that out. Whether or not the paper was talking with David Johnson's ex-girlfriend for weeks or months, it's clear from the story on February 16 that neither she nor her lawyers were ready to release word about the phone call with Paterson. If the Times knew about it, likely enough they didn't have the reporting in place to run with it until the 24th.
In the end, the perception that Paterson's quixotic governorship was destined to fail was not started by this whole series of events. And in all likelihood, if this hadn't felled him, something else would have.
Reuters - With "Rude Boy," Rihanna delivers her most provocative lyrics and perhaps most authentic-sounding single to date. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 26 Feb 2010 | 4:44 pm
You know a relationship's trouble when you're still dealing with fallout from your ex 20 years later.
Such is the case with former Charlie Sheen paramour Kelly Preston, who was...
Thom Yorke’s once-mysterious side project got a name yesterday: Atoms for Peace (sensibly, it’s a Dwight Eisenhower reference). Now it also has some tunes: Yorke played a solo benefit show for the U.K. Green Party at an awesome-sounding venue called the Cambridge Corn Exchange, and Radiohead fan site At Ease has graciously provided nice, clean YouTube clips of the three brand-new songs he played. (They're all embedded below.) He played acoustic guitar on the ones called “Mouse Dog Bird” (our favorite, if you’re an extremely busy person and only have time for one previously unreleased Thom Yorke song a day) and “Give Up the Ghost” (which, by the way, is also the name of our favorite Boston hard-core band), but he tickled the ivories for “The Daily Mail.” There’s also some charming stage banter, if you’re into that kind of thing. While you’re listening, just imagine how much better these will sound once Flea drops the slap bass on 'em.
When he finally returns to the PGA Tour, don't look for any Gatorade in Tiger Woods' Nike bag.
A day after the athletic wear company repledged its undying love for the apologetic...
Karma chameleon Boy George strolled around London incognito in a neon-pink chapeau with a magazine covering his face (which was done up properly, of course).
Do you like the bright hue for the hat or do you prefer a more neutral tone?
Brooke Burke, Melissa Rycroft and Vanessa Minnillo may be the leading ladies in the running to replace Samantha Harris on Dancing With the Stars, but has anyone thought of Kelly...
When this friendly Vulture editor moved to New York City some three or so years ago, one of the first rules that this native Midwesterner was taught was never to look fellow subway riders directly in the eyes. And although this situation isn't entirely analogous, the same thing might be said for engaging Courtney Love on Twitter. You see, Love and the British pop star Lily Allen have been getting into it after — take a deep breath — Love complained that Allen used a fashion connection to block Love from wearing a couture dress to the Brit Awards last week. Well, Allen apparently couldn't let bygones be bygones and decided to let loose on Love on Twitter.
As you can see, Allen has clearly provoked the always irascible Love by way of the Internets. The only reason we can think of for Love's delayed reply is that, well, she's still asleep. If you're looking for some good, cheap entertainment on this snowy Friday eve, might we suggest keeping an eye on Courtney's Twitter feed? Your finger might get tired from all the scrolling, but if we know Courtney, it will be worth it.
A Utah developer named Doug Anderson has come up with something genius: Wolf Creek Ranch, a gated community an hour outside of Salt Lake City, that bills itself as a "private national park." Residents who inhabit the14,000-acre development's multi-million-dollar Scandinavian-designed homes ("a mix of wealthy Utah residents and business executives," including former Citigroup chief financial officer Gary Crittenden, according to the Journal) are afforded the ability to indulge in their love nature and the remote plains of Utah, only with none of the discomfort. Here's a peek at what life is like on the Ranch:
While they say they relish mingling with nature, owners also get access to a club barn for get-togethers, an equestrian center, four yurts set up for deluxe camping stints, cellphone access (the tower is disguised as a pine tree) and 27 miles of paved roads. They socialize around the quarterly association meetings — the highlight being an annual fall elk bugling party, in which everyone breaks into groups with bugles to call out to the male elks. (The elks are gazed at — hunting isn't allowed.)
Daily Intel has obtained the Welcome Note potential residents of Wolf Creek receive upon arrival. It is below.
Greetings, Ranchers!
Welcome to Wolf Creek Ranch, or as we like to call it, the Wild Frontier!
We hope you enjoy your humble Dugout. As you can see, it's a bit larger than the abodes that frontiersman lived in back in the good old days, and roomier than the Scandinavian homes it is modeled on, but we feel the size and design are not only complementary to the local terrain, but a vast improvement over the "rugged" structures common to the area. If you need someone to help you with your fireplace, wireless Internet, or digital sound system, feel free to ring the front desk at any time and an Ranger will provide assistance.
As you may have heard, we at Wolf Creek are well-known for our wide range of activities, which simulate the Real Experience of Living with Nature.® Here's a sampling of tomorrow's activities.
In the morning, Ranger Carl will lead a Breakfast Foraging expedition, in which he'll drive you to the edge of the empty plain and leave you, hungry, thirsty, and disoriented, to find your own sustenance. You'll have to locate your own source of water, figure out which plants you can eat, and ultimately, cobble together a meal from the bounty of the earth! Along the way, you might wonder: Is the water in this Rocky Spring® safe to drink? That's just what your ancestors would have wondered! The answer, for you, not them, is yes: Rocky Spring Water® is artesian, filtered and refreshed constantly by our staff (those who prefer sparkling should peek inside the Giant Craggy Rock, which contains a selection of bottles from various purveyors). Similarly, none of the herbs you will see on the ground are actually poisonous. They're flown in nightly from Dean and Deluca, trimmed, cleaned, and replanted in the ground by staff.
You'll also notice the dirt here isn't like real dirt. That's because it's a silicone compound, made with essential oils, produced especially for Wolf Creek. If you touch it, it will glide off of your skin, leaving a soft but not greasy layer of moisture that you may find imbues your skin with a pleasant elasticity. Wolf Creek Dirt and Mud Products® are also available in the Gift Shack (price upon request).
When you feel you're through with your Adventure and are ready for breakfast, you can make your way to the edge of the plain, where you'll find a Frontier-Style Breakfast Buffet waiting for you in the Random Ramshackle Ranch. (Those who don't want to walk can dial "7" on their phone and Ranger Carl will pick you up in the Wolf Creek Covered Wagon.)
After your meal, you might decide you need some exercise. How about a run through our state-of-the-art Craggy Canyon? Along the way you'll be menaced by Wolf Creek Wolves, Coyotes, and maybe even some Snakes. Trust us: Nothing gets your heart racing like seeing a giant rattler slithering across your $400 sneakers! (NB: All of the snakes on the course are mechanical, and the Wolves and Coyotes are played by former Lehman Brothers traders. They can seem a little fiesty, but they do know when to stop.)
Later, may we suggest you take a stroll through our Dangerous Desert Spa? Wolf Creek's new, multi-million-dollar facility simulates the real experience of a long, tortured walk across the dusty desert, with none of the discomfort. Along the way, you'll be exposed to lamps that emulate the hot sun (all lamps are equipped with mood-improving 5,000-kilowatt full-spectrum light bulbs), experience an exfoliating sandstorm, and finish up by taking a luxuriating dip in our famed Abandoned Oil Well. Afterward, you'll feel just like a frontiersman would have felt, only instead of chapped, dry, and dejected, you'll be soft and moisturized — with a much healthier outlook!
If you think you'd be interested in a duel, inquire at the front desk, and one of our Rangers will find a sparring partner from one of the nearby small towns. Of course, your gun will be loaded, theirs will not. Society will never miss them!
Ladies who feel like doing a little shopping are encouraged at any time to "mine for ore" in our on-site boutique, the Gold Digger.
At 7 p.m, we'll convene for dinner in the Club House, where the chef will offer a selection of locally caught and prepared delicacies, including Rancid Buffalo (steak, all cuts available) and Prairie Lobster (lobster). Afterward, we hope you'll join us in the Main Room for our nightly Hoedown for dancing, Shooting at Cans, and other Rustic Fun.
Harry Potter has turned into quite the upstanding young wizard.
Daniel Radcliffe shot a PSA Friday for the Trevor Project, an organization close to his heart that provides 24/7...
Here’s another model-slash-actress for you. Sports Illustrated cover girl Brooklyn Decker is slated to star in Just Go With It, alongside Jennifer Aniston, Adam Sandler, and Nicole Kidman. The Ohio native will play Sandler’s love interest. Whether she’ll be able to hold her own against Kidman remains to be seen. [People.com]
For the past few years talent agent Jim Toth was known as a rising star at the Creative Artists Agency, where he works with such stars as Robert Downey Jr. and Tobey Maguire. And his friends know him as a fun-loving, down-to-earth guy.
Gary Coleman is being treated at a Los Angeles area hospital after suffering a seizure on the set of TV's "The Insider" on Friday, the show reports.
Do you and your readers want to find fault with anything or everything just to make news? This city has been alive, people have been happy and enjoying life, and the Olympics frankly have gone off without a hitch here - there have been yes a tragedy, and OMG some of your athletes have either crashed, or not reached medals, no we haven't owned the podium, but we've had the best showing ever in our hosted Olympic experience, and at this point we are tied with the USA in golds (and we have 1/10 of your population - which means that you should have 80 gold medals and not just 8 - what does that say about the US olympic team??). We've hosted the world proudly, and we are not perfect, but we are damn proud of who and what we are. Perhaps the "malfunction" at the opening ceremonies were in tribute to the fallen Georgian athlete, did you think of that - maybe someone or something was telling us to pause and think.
Of course Canada isn't perfect, Vancouver isn't, nor are the Olympics, but for the last two weeks, the Olympics have captured the hopes the dreams and the lives of many of us in the world - and we have enjoyed it.
Try to do better London, Sochi, just try, and if you have the occasional mix up or error, just be ware, the world press, and those who want to find fault will - and that will sell papers, make news and make those who are pesimistic happy - and those are the people in the world that I and other proud Canadian's pity.
And as part of the deal for getting PhRMA to pay for this toothless marketing campaign, the White House cut the deal that made sure the bill wouldn't do anything that would hurt the pharmaceutical industry's profits. No reimporting drugs. No negotiating for prices in Medicare Part B. Basically PhRMA was guaranteed $80 billion in profit and all they had to do was fork over a couple million bucks for a crappy ad campaign, and promise not to spend that money on a crappy ad campaign against health care reform.
This was the single dumbest mistake the White House made on health care. It enraged liberals (rightfully), handed conservatives a wonderful talking point, made the bills more toothless, and ended up having no upside whatsoever. There's no way the presence of PhRMA money could've made the anti-reform campaign any more effective than it turned out to be.
But Axelrod and Plouffe came out on top!
Your subway has been crippled by snow, the walk/don't walk signs read both — and maybe you're wondering, "Why do I even live in New York?" Well, put on your headphones, cue up a song like "Empire State of Mind," and remember. On the eve of Jay-Z's March 2 valedictory lap at Madison Square Garden, we solicited recommendations from critics and musicians and then threw them in a blender to come up with a playlist of the most New York songs written since 1965 (caveats: no instrumentals, no movie theme songs) that get at the city's romance — the sex, the grit, the wit, the skyscraper-size ambition. We fully expect you to disagree [Editor's note: WTF? Jennifer Lopez?!?!]. You wouldn't be New Yorkers if you didn't. So cue up your own New York playlist in the comments.
1. “(Theme From) New York, New York,” Frank Sinatra, 1980
When Hoboken’s favorite son recorded the Liza original, he added an across-the-river dreamer’s swagger to Kander and Ebb’s ode boozy manifesto of NYC exceptionalism.
2. “Walk on the Wild Side,” Lou Reed, 1972
This jaded roundup of Warhol superstar creation myths (“Holly came from Miami F-L-A … shaved her legs and then he was a she”) offered a still unmatched window on the druggy, sexually fearless, sad, funny world of downtown.
3. “New York State of Mind,” Billy Joel, 1976
There are other great New York homesick ballads (Dylan’s “Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues," Steely Dan’s “Dr. Wu”), but this Ray Charles–indebted, piano-bar ballad is the best — a reminder that to lose touch with the city is to lose touch with yourself.
4. “Visions of Johanna,” Bob Dylan, 1966
Dylan’s lament, written on the cusp of his stoned, Edie Sedgwick–romancing, Warhol-taunting period, uses coughing heat pipes and jelly-faced women to distill just how phantasmagorical and spooky our city can appear.
5. “Juicy,” Notorious B.I.G., 1994
The ultimate rags-to-riches story: Biggie recounts “blow(ing) up like the World Trade,” but like all real New Yorkers, he’s not completely sold. The fall could be just around that corner he used to work. “And if you don’t know / now you know.”
6. “Rockaway Beach,” the Ramones, 1977
The sun is out, the streets are baking, and Joey’s chewing out a rhythm on his bubble gum. As harmonic and jubilant as any Beach Boys surf classic, this is a three-chord summertime anthem for bored kids left with nothing but fire hydrants and public pools.
7. “Our Time,” Yeah Yeah Yeahs, 2001
Post September 11, 2001, most fists pumped to “Won’t Get Fooled Again” or “The Rising,” but the city’s truest anthem of defiance came from the mouth of a beer-drenched, spandex-covered Karen O. “It was an older, song, written in 2000," says guitarist Nick Zinner, "and I remember people really identifying with the song after 9/11. It initially surprised us, but I think it’s a misfit rallying call to whatever you want it to be, or whatever you want it to be against.”
8. “The Only Living Boy in New York,” Simon and Garfunkel, 1970
In a metropolis of 12 million, sometimes the movie in your mind is the only one you can clearly see. And no matter what the plot, this melancholy classic fits your private soundtrack, isolating that urban phenomenon of romantic isolation.
9. “Native New Yorker,” Odyssey, 1977
Those who didn’t come here from Ohio or Michigan or Kingston or London or Moscow, those born and raised in the Five are a different species altogether. Whether “up in Harlem” or “down on Broadway,” they “know the score" — but no matter how tough, every New Yorker is a secret romantic.
10. “Across 110th Street,” Bobby Womack and Peace, 1973
The City can be oppressive, crazy-making, and heartbreaking. The rich stay rich and the poor stay poor. But this blaxpoitation-era theme is a powerful reminder that New York soul survives.
11. “New York, I Love You but You’re Bringing Me Down,” LCD Soundsystem, 2007
The only thing more soul-crushing than slaving away to stay in some dingy studio in a dangerous neighborhood is when Giuliani, then Bloomberg try to sanitize everything. And yet we stay, because filthy or sterile, New York is “still the one pool where [we]’d happily drown.”
12. “New York City Cops,” the Strokes, 2001
This track was removed from American versions of 2001’s Is This It after 9/11 out of sensitivity ( “New York City cops — they ain’t too smart.”), but it’s less an insult than a tribute to street-prowling Droogs eluding authority. “I always took that song as a love story,” says guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. “The two people are together and the cops are fucking with them … There’s something about walking down the street as a gang. It’s a tough place. It gets you excited.” Casablancas first shared the song with Hammond on a train back from Hoboken: What’s more New York than that?
13. “Fairytale of New York,” the Pogues, 1987
Generally, blowing all your racetrack money on whiskey and wooing back your girl with the promise that you'll be up again in no time qualifies as a cautionary tale. In New York, spiritual second home of this band, really all Irish, it’s just another Christmas — with the “boys of the NYPD” ringing out the bells.
14. “Shattered,” the Rolling Stones, 1978
“Go ahead, bite the big apple. Don’t mind the maggots.” New York remains the place where it’s considered perfectly acceptable to chase the dream until you’re a battered, scattered mess of fabulously subhuman fashion victimhood, pop a downer, sleep a few hours, and try it all again the next day. After all, “pride and joy and greed and sex, that’s what makes our town the best.”
15. “B-Boy Bouillabaisse,” Beastie Boys, 1989
Sometimes X-rated (“Took off her pants / you know what I saw”) but most often sweet (shout-outs to Orange Julius, Bernie Goetz, and the Knicks betray their homesickness while recording in Los Angeles), this nine-part sonic suite is merely the most engaging of a half-dozen Beastie valentines to their hometown. “Hello Brooklyn!”
16. “I’m Waiting for the Man,” Velvet Underground, 1967
New Yorkers hate to wait on lines, whether it’s at the CVS or on the corner. Scoring smack is reduced to another errand, defined by need, desire, shopping lists, and efficiency. Lou Reed made this connection, drawing inspiration from our impatience.
17. “Famous Blue Raincoat,” Leonard Cohen, 1971
In other cities it’s considered immature for adults to indulge in their own teenaged solipsistic misery — but alienation never goes out of style here. With his breathy baritone, Cohen makes a December in exile on the Lower East Side seem like a spiritual hell so frigid you might not survive it — in other words, perfect.
18. “C.R.E.A.M.,” Wu-Tang Clan, 1993
Enter Staten Island, and the greatest acronym in hip-hop history (“Cash rules everything around me”). Over the RZA’s creepy, looped piano riff, Raekwon and Inspectah Deck recount a brutal youth and draw the only solution they can see: “Cream! Get the money! Dollar dollar bill yo!”
19. “Empire State of Mind,” Jay-Z, 2009
A new classic, by design, with nods to its peers on this list (plus Nas’s worthy “N.Y. State of Mind”). Homegrown Alicia Keys sings the hook, but it’s Jay who sounds reborn big-upping his hometown. “These streets will make you feel brand-new ... ”
20. “Going Home,” Luna, 1994
Whether it’s catty (“What she saw in him nobody knew / it was a mystery”) or whimsical (“The Chrysler building was talkin’ to the Empire State”), that dark wit we New Yorkers pride ourselves on is here in abundance. The song is a late-night, erudite trifle made poignant by fate. (Who can listen to the lyric “the Twin Towers were talking to each other” without welling up?) “I'm pretty sure the lines about the skyscrapers talking to each other were inspired by a Don DeLillo novel,” Dean Wareham says, explaining his take on a classic summer rooftop party. The rest of his inspiration was geographic: "New York songwriters are lucky to be influenced by places like Great Jones Street or the Chrysler Building or Coney Island.”
21. “Subway Train,” New York Dolls, 1973
Strap-hanging as a metaphor for life: For everyone riding the A train on an endless loop hoping the solution to everything will hop on at the next stop, the Dolls know your pain.
22. “You Said Something,” PJ Harvey, 2000
For years, PJ Harvey was all about the primal, violent side of love (man-eating vaginas!). But after one heady summer in New York City, she was writing unabashedly rhapsodic love songs about rooftops in Brooklyn and the unforgettable things hipster boys say on them.
23. "Too Many Creeps,” Bush Tetras, 1980
It’s natural, after living in an urban environment for a while, to begin to loathe humanity. These jaded, stylish post-punk babes wrote the ultimate angular anthem to blast as you hightail it upstate for a weekend spent with nobody.
24. “Lua,” Bright Eyes, 2004
Go out, get loaded, make grand promises you won’t keep to people you barely know until you’re staggering around empty streets trying to hail a cab to the next party before the sun comes up. Stop. Repeat till you’re dead, 30, or move to the suburbs.
25. “Jenny From the Block,” Jennifer Lopez, 2002
This just-another-girl-on-the-6 ode to humility is cringe-worthy (“I stay grounded as the amounts roll in”), but, perhaps unintentionally so, poignant. After all, the urge to stay down by law is one of our strongest drives — like Bloomberg riding the train then carbon foot-printing off to some tropical island. Hooey-filled as this track is, it’s so gloriously New York.
And the rest …
26. “Marquee Moon,” Television.
27. “Summer in the City,” the Lovin’ Spoonful.
28. “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters,” Elton John.
29. “Around the Way Girl,” LL Cool J.
30. “I Know You Got Soul,” Eric B. & Rakim.
31. “Mercy Snack,” Pavement.
32. “Check the Rhime,” A Tribe Called Quest.
33. “People Who Died,” The Jim Carroll Band.
34. “Coney Island Baby,” Lou Reed.
35. “New York, New York,” Ryan Adams.
36. “Stayin’ Alive,” The Bee Gees.
37. “South Bronx,” BDP.
38. “Tom’s Diner,” Suzanne Vega
39. “Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side,” The Magnetic Fields.
40. “I Am ... I Said,” Neil Diamond.
"I loved Thom Browne, especially the groovy new eyewear, but the shows this season were full of teen/tween bloggers. I feel like they are trying to nudge me out of my front-row seat. Luckily, I have a plan for next season. Since they are all about my height, I am going to impersonate one of them. I am going to wear a doily on my head (Tavi!) and tell everyone I am a teen blogger. If they ask why I am so wrinkled, I will tell them that I have progeria." [GQ]
AFP - Top Italian fashion designer Versace laid on the leather Friday while Blumarine's Anna Molinari and maestro Giorgio Armani offered a softer, more feminine touch at Milan Fashion Week.
When we caught up with Maggie Gyllenhaal last night at the Character Approved celebration hosted by USA Network, we wondered if the studio was making her go overboard to promote Crazy Heart, because she's nominated for an Oscar for her role in it. "Crazy Heart, you know, wasn’t going to come out now, and they decided maybe three weeks before they released it to release it now, so we were doing so much press," she explained. "I mean, it was like three Q&As a night, and then a cocktail party and then, you know. I mean, so much more stuff stuffed into a small period of time than any movie I’ve ever promoted, including The Dark Knight. And Peter, my husband, was like, 'Uh, are they going to ask you to go stand on Broadway and Houston with flyers? Because you would, I think. You would.' And I maybe would." So basically ... yes.
Mike Seaver will always miss Boner.
Andrew Koenig's former Growing Pains costar Kirk Cameron was one of the first celebrities to speak out when the actor went missing; it's only...
FRAGRANCE
• James Franco stars in the campaign for Gucci by Gucci Sport Pour Homme, the new fragrance by Gucci. Designer Frida Giannini says it's not about sports: “It’s more a sporty state of mind.” Franco's sport seems to be swimming with clothes on. [WWD]
• Bond No. 9 will launch a fragrance inspired by the High Line Park on the West Side next month. The company claims that 80 percent of the notes for the scent come from plants and flowers that are on the High Line, and it's meant to evoke "the Hudson River, urban wildflowers, and a hint of industrial grit." [Blogdorf Goodman]
MAKEUP
• Makeup artist Pat McGrath drew eyebrows on models with sharp brown and black lines at the Prada show yesterday, which is different than the bleached brows she's shown on the same runway for the past two seasons. [Beauty Counter/Style.com]
• Topshop will launch two beauty collections — one is a core line and the other is a seasonal-trend line that will launch new items four to six times per year. The products hit stores in May, and will also be available online. [WWD]
• Makeup artist Peter Philips on the look at Fendi: "The look is fresh, wintery, and cold — like you've been walking outside and it's time to put on your coat." To achieve the vision, he used peach blush. [Daily Beauty Reporter/Allure]
HAIR
• A Vietnamese man set the world record for longest hair. His hair measured over 22 feet long, weighed several pounds, and hadn't been cut in over 50 years, according to his wife. The man, who worked as an herbalist, died this week. [Independent UK]
• Avril Lavigne highlighted her blonde hair with black streaks, reminiscent of Christina Aguilera in her "Dirrty" days. [Girls in the Beauty Department/Glamour]
Of all of the actors in all of the world, Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester and House's Hugh Laurie are an unlikely combo for not one but two on-screen potential romances. So random! But Meester indeed played a teen siren with her eyes on Greg House in a 2006 two-episode arc of the show, and as was reported last night, the two have signed up to co-star in The Oranges, about "a man's romantic relationship with the daughter of a family friend." If you want a reminder of the May-December chemistry that makes these two sizzle on-screen, here's a creepy scene from the Meester-Laurie story arc of House, which, honestly, has always seemed kind of far-fetched to us — Dr. Gregory House is a known sex symbol, for sure, but to 17-year-olds?
Name: Melissa Febos Age: 29 Neighborhood: Bushwick Occupation: Writer. Writing teacher. Her memoir, Whip Smart , about her four-year tenure as a dominatrix in NYC, is out next week on St. Martin's Press. You can catch her reading from it Wednesday, March 3 at the Happy Ending Music and Reading Series at Joe's Pub.
Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
My tiny Abuelita (11/12/32–8/13/07), who was born in Manhattan and raised in the Bronx. She taught me to stuff my cash in my shoe or my bra, and how to ride the subway.
What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
The one I scarfed after completing the master cleanse. It was gone too fast for me to recognize what it consisted of. Hopefully, it was vegetarian, since I've been one my whole life.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
I write stories, mostly true, and then talk about writing stories, and stories other people have written, and how to employ the correct usage of a semicolon.
Would you live here on a $35,000 salary?
I have done so for over a decade. It's not preferable.
What's the last thing you saw on Broadway? Hair? Snoozefest.
Do you give money to panhandlers?
Usually not. Didn't I mention that I'd lived here for over a decade? If they make me laugh, maybe. I give money to street dancers, and singers who pierce my heart, either with beauty or utter lack of talent.
What's your drink?
In total defiance of my upbringing, Diet Coke.
How often do you prepare your own meals?
If you can call what I do before I eat "preparing a meal," then frequently. If you call what I do "standing before the open refrigerator and deciding what to dip my fingers into," then infrequently.
What's your favorite medication?
Reading.
What's hanging above your sofa?
A whirling cloud of dust motes and dog hair.
How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
It's hard for me to justify not simply taking the kitchen shears and trimming over the trash can, which is my usual routine. I recently got my first professional haircut in years at Johanna Fateman's salon, Seagull, which is totally worth the reasonable price, and makes a good argument for not doing it yourself. For those who indulge in such things as super-pricey professional haircuts, well, maybe $500? I don't know. It ain't plastic surgery, people. You can't change a picture by changing its frame.
When's bedtime?
11 p.m.? Whenever I have e-mailed myself into a state of exhaustion.
Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
I barely knew the old one, so it's easier to romanticize. They kind of represent two poles of nastiness: STDs and capitalism run amuck. I'll stick with Brooklyn, thanks.
What do you think of Donald Trump?
I think he looks like one of my old clients when I was a professional dominatrix. All of them, in fact.
What do you hate most about living in New York?
How much people complain about living in New York. The way it becomes increasingly difficult to imagine living anywhere else.
Who is your mortal enemy?
Anyone who pushes his way onto the subway before the exiting passengers can exit.
When's the last time you drove a car?
I can't remember, but I'm sure I did so in a good impression of Quasimodo: brow furrowed, with my shoulders hunched around my ears, chin hovering over the steering wheel, and somehow also fiddling with the radio. I used to love driving, but New York — as well as a growing awareness of my own mortality — has handicapped me in this regard. I can't drive without compulsively imagining my own bloody dismemberment, the horrifying shriek of metal folding like an accordion. My imagination is often my greatest enemy.
How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
It hasn't. That's one of the few advantages of being poor.
Times, Post, or Daily News?
I get most of my news via Facebook status updates and NPR, so I'm not really qualified to say.
Where do you go to be alone?
Oh, I just dissociate from whatever is going on. Especially if it's uncomfortable. My therapist and I are working on that, though it can be a useful skill in this city.
What makes someone a New Yorker?
When you stop flinching at the cost of, well, anything. When you complain about living here on a regular basis, but can't imagine living anywhere else.
Most schools already have an optional question about race and ethnicity. Why not one that asks whether or not a student is gay? We all know that colleges accept students to try to get the most diversified population they can. They admit people based on what state they are from, what instrument they can play in the band, and which country their parents come from. Why not try to add a little bit of rainbow to the school colors?
If a student is willing to check the box that says "Yes, I am a big homo" then they are most likely already out. Good for them, but that is no easy feat. Sure, high school sucks for everyone, but it sucks even harder for gay kids. Even in the days of Gay Straight Alliances and greater acceptance, plenty of gay students are taunted, bullied, and marginalized. Some are thrown out of their houses or worse. Even if everyone at home and at school is cool with their orientation, their dating prospects are limited and they don't have many opportunities to socialize with other teens like them.
But that should all change at college, glorious, glorious college where homos abound and just about every hot, muscly frat boy wants to experiment at least once. These kids have earned this paradise!
Right now the schools are using some oblique jury-rigged gaydar (reading student essays, looking at extracurricular activities, asking what kind of shoes they wear) to target their potential gays, but why not come right out and ask them? If these kids survived being openly gay in high school, being asked if they are gay is the least of the indignities they will have faced. And if straight applicants blanch at the question, well, those don't seem like the type of people these schools want in the first place.
After being called a "faggot" for years and being pushed around by the high school bully (who is probably going to come out around his 24th birthday anyway), a little bit of love for these students could go a long way. All you baby gays: You better shut off Logo and do your homework and get a part time job. You have an in, but Yale is not going to be easy to get into and it's not going to pay for itself.
London’s runways were a mix of the past, present, and future faces of modeling. Christopher Bailey at Burberry selected Karmen Pedaru to open and close his collection. Sigrid Agren was a hot commodity, per usual, opening for Jaeger London, Matthew Williamson, and Nicole Farhi. Rising star Kristy Kaurova booked her first opening look ever, for Paul Smith. Meanwhile, Mark Fast’s runway saw the return of the early aughts with Delfine Bafort opening and Anouck Lepère closing. But our eyes were on one very special flaxen-haired rookie: Julia Nobis. After scoring a Calvin Klein exclusive in New York, she went on to book the opening looks at Richard Nicoll and Topshop Unique. And just yesterday, she landed in Milan to walk for Prada. At this rate, Julia is quickly becoming this season’s breakout star. Click ahead to our slideshow to see all of London’s top openers and closers.
In a dubious-sounding, yet too tempting to ignore WENN news report, Harrison Ford is supposedly being blasted by environmental activists for something he supposedly said in an interview with a (warning: British!) magazine about his cheeseburger-procuring method of choice:
"Learning to fly was a work of art. I'm so passionate about flying I often fly up the coast for a cheeseburger. Flying is like good music; it elevates the spirit and it's an exhilarating freedom."
But Harrison Ford is a known environmentalist who, less than two years ago, inexplicably got his chest waxed for an anti-deforestation PSA! We're basically just trying to advance this "story" to the point that Harrison Ford has to make an official statement through his spokesperson that he doesn't really use his plane for burger runs. Stop ruining the environment, Harrison Ford! (Also, shouldn't PETA join outrage forces with the environmental folks in this matter?)
Let's start with Tamra. Oh Tamra. She is a curt and sour, her eyes are beginning to look like darkening slot canyons, like Antelope, the flash-flood waters coming. To celebrate this fact, Tamra threw herself a funeral, otherwise known as a 42nd birthday party. Yes, she is just three short years away from the date when the Orange County Woman Control squad hauls her off and buries her in a shallow grave somewhere near Barstow. So might as well whoop it up before some government bureaucrat wearing a tie and some Sears chinos makes the sign of the cross and puts two bullets in the back of her head, desert winds rustling through his combover. Might as well live it up.
All the girls were there! Trixi and Marbella and Ruby Foo and Vandella and Garbage Marge the Garbage Barge. All of Tamra's good friends. They took turns playing Pin the Tail On the Donkey and Marry the Millionaire and they all guzzled shots and Vicki sent her poor little assistant — named Heather or George or Martinique, no one really remembers, but it seemed sad and confused and was murmuring things, whole sentences to itself, and nobody knows for sure, but when Garbage Marge the Garbage Barge leaned in close she swears it was saying "I want to go home, I want to go home" over and over and over again — to deliver a gift and everyone was so horrified that Vicki couldn't even come by, especially because she was just two blocks away. Cut to Vicki, naked and smeared in copy toner, a Staples' employee's severed head stuck on a pike made of staple removers, shrieking "Wooorrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkk! The Vicki is worrrrrkkkinggggggg!!!" And we all shuddered and realized that she had thumbtacks stuck in her gums, either she'd placed them there as decoration or she'd been eating thumbtacks again, and we knew that this Work that Vicki speaks of, this is a very important thing. Tamra wasn't buying it.
After the birthday party, Garbage Marge drove everyone home in her garbage barge and dropped Simon and Tamra off at a fancy restaurant for fancy people, which Simon and Tamra are. There they had a lovely romantic conversation about boobs and tits and sacks and funbags and sweater melons and over the shoulder boulder holders and goody lumps and smugglin' Hare Krishnas and chest balls. But mostly they talked of love and breasts and Tamra licked Simon's face, which I imagine tasted like the underside of a shoe that smokes menthol cigarettes, and oh man is their marriage over. Just over over over. So over. It's over next week. It's already over. Time warps and bends around this show. It's like a black hole only less interesting. It's a hole.
Once she and Simon had finished playing a sexy game that Simon affectionately calls Lizard Tongue, Tamra hopped aboard her bejeweled moped and puttered over to the house where Lynne will soon be not living. She knocked on the door and it creaked open, unlocked. She walked into the house. There was an eerie silence. "Hellloooo?" she called out, becoming strangely cold and frightened. "Lynne? Lynne's hubby? Troll monsters?" She walked into the Great Room and stood, looking around. Suddenly she felt a presence. Lynne was in the room. But where? She looked all around. Then she heard a sickening shuffle coming from above her. She looked up to see Lynee skittering around the ceiling, transfixed by the light fixture. "Lynne... Lynne honey?" As soon as Lynne realized she was being watched she plummeted down toward the ground, bounced off the leather sofa and crashed through the coffee table. Lying in a bloody, shardy heap she slurred "Hiiiiiiiiii Tamra. Come on in. I was just... I was just, uh, breaking the table here."
The ladies opened a bottle of wine and got to chatting about men. Tamra thought they were all liars and Lynne remarked at how when sometimes you think you pooped that day but you didn't really poop that day and then at night you have Poop Dreams? Tamra stared at a fixed spot on the wall just to the left of Lynne's eyes and said "Uh huh." And then Lynne said "Oh yeah, Hubby would never cheat on me. He's a germaphobe." Tamra blinked harder, seriously confused. But I got that! That little tidbit of Lynne's actually made sense. He wouldn't stick it in another wicket because who knows what sort of strange disease one could get from that. I get ya Lynne. You're one batty bitch, but I get ya. Tamra shrugged her shoulders and continued on talking, while Lynne crawled up onto the counter and managed to get stuck in the disposal, where she stayed all night, softly purring to herself, having wonderful Poop Dreams.
While she was doing that, her two daughters, Encyclopedia and Britannica, went to have a very serious conversation. As the two Merit Scholars had been studying very hard, they knew just what to say and how to say it. There's a very important education program on television called The Hills, which teaches girls from Carlsbad to Kennebunk how to talk and what to talk about. You takkkk lakkkk thissssss and you barely open your mouth so a burble of word-ideas comes sluicing out of your glossed lips, followed soon after by gallons and gallons of feces and bile and zombie vomit. And, like, they said "like" more times than I have ever heard that word ever, and I grew up in the Valley. (I mean, I certainly watched enough things about the Valley growing up to have vicariously grown up there, right) It's really some entirely new mode of linguistics these California reality show girls have come up with. It's almost tonal and click-based. "Yeahhh" means a very different thing than "Yeahhhhh." Completely different.
Anyway, while I was digging in that ancient temple dedicated to the goddess Laguna last night, I uncovered a sort of Rosetta Stone that translates Shitspeak. In Shitspeak, the girls were apparently talking about moving to LA. Because LA will be their savior. In LA nothing is hard, everything is good and pure and merciful. No one will treat you cruelly, even if you look like one of the bad guys from Labyrinth. (...) It's a city of nice people where you don't need a jawwb. Who wants a jawwwwb. Nobody wants a jawwwwwb. Oh it was so sad and awful and pathetic watching these girls audition for their own show. Shitspeak: Girl Talk premieres this fall on BravoTeen, which is a channel named after Andy Cohen's brain. (But seriously, if anyone over there wants to start BravoTeen, you will have one dedicated viewer.)
We pack up, we move on. Over to Gretchen. Does anyone care about Gretchen anymore? Do you think Gretchen realizes that everyone stopped caring a little while ago? It's sort of sad. She just keeps on showing up and saying things with those coin purse features of hers and she has no idea that nobody's watching anymore. Hey, here's a segment where Gretchen gets her makeup done by her best friend/makeup artist LouMitsy, and if anyone was watching they would get out their little weed dealing scales to try to figure out how many ounces of makeup Gretchen is wearing. But no one's home. Hey, here's a segment where she takes her own makeup line to a trade show and, shocker!, no one shows up. At that point Gretchen must have realized that no one was paying attention, right? I mean, it was manifestly in her face right then, wasn't it? Just staring right at her, unblinking as a bird. I have nothing interesting to say about Gretchen except that Ha Ha Ha no one showed up to her stupid makeup party, because why would they? Time to try to find a job that is actually real, Gretchen. (As if. Who wants a jawwwwwwb. She's gonna move to LA with the Doublets of Belleville and do nothing forever.)
Let's go toot toot tooting back over to Lynne, who managed to finally get out of the disposal and stumble into her Flintsones car and callous-foot her way over to dinner with Hubby. "Hey Hamslacks, how's fritters?" she asked him with determination. He sighed and patted her hand. "Who's on the menu, Jackson?" she asked brightly. He sighed again and a small tear trickled down his face. "The toucan sure sounds like something I'd like to talk to, I'll have that, Dudley" Lynne said to a freckle on her arm. Hubby put his head down on the table. ""Didja ever think about babies that wear hats? I think about that a lot." By now Hubby was curled up under the table, weeping. Though he was secretly glad that he didn't have to answer any questions about his terrible finances, because that would be scary and he doesn't like scary things. Suddenly Lynne's head popped under the table and she said "Your seltzer's ready!" Then there was a gunshot.
Next we take a peek at Alexis, our big-titted funbag of a Jesuswoman, who was doing Christly things like taking her momma to get her face rearranged. Ha ha, no. She wasn't taking her mom to a 1950s school bully. She was taking her to a plastic surgeon! Plastic surgery is listed in the Bible right after that strikethrough part about the body being a temple and not having too much pride and all that. Alexis and Ma Juggs had a nice serious lunchtime chat about wrinkles and aging and the long slow molasses ooze towards death that is living, and her mother frowned and looked like Alice Krige or Piper Laurie and we felt bad for her, because soon she would be disappeared, never the same again, a whole different, lesser person. Alexis smiled in an eerie, glassy way and said "One of us, now. One of us." Alexis also remarked at how her mom's forehead was as smooth as Andy Cohen's "assistant" and yet she had never had any work done, and Alexis is sixty-eight and has had so many surgeries she can't even count them. I mean, she used to be black!
So Alexis pulled a giant mallet out of her purse and whacked her mother over the head and the next thing poor Piper Laurie knew, she was strapped into a chair with the doctor from Brazil sharpening his Defacer. It was just so sad watching her, because she clearly didn't want the surgery, but there was a camera crew there and she did want to do something with her daughter, who seemed further and further away with each passing month, so she did it. She sat there as the doctor scrawled all over her face with a marker and then the doctor's mom came in and said "Oh honey, that's very pretty. You know what? I'm going to put it on the refrigerator," and then took Piper Laurie's face and stuck it onto the fridge with a big magnet. She hung out like that for a while until Alexis ran in and yelled "Now! Do it now!!!! Begin the Defacening!!!"
After Alexis's mom's face was cut off, she was wheeled over to a plastic surgery recovery center (these only exist in Southern California, they're the Newport Creameries of the West) where she would stay until the lizard DNA had fully fused with her own and her face could begin regrowing, a taut new hide. Alexis took some time off from her busy daiquiri and Christoga schedule to spend some time with her mom at the center and she yammered on about many things and shared many memories. One memory was of when they were at lunch before and her mother said "Remember how you wouldn't walk anywhere because you didn't want your hair to smell like air?" At that point all of our faces fell off and the Lizard King cackled and said "You are all mine nowwwwww." Srsly, Alexis? And this is, like, a funny a story we are telling? Not a horribly depressing one about a horrible girl with ugly outsides and hideous insides who was so fucking stupid and vain that she preferred her hair to smell like a bucket of chemicals instead of "air"? Are you sure it's not that kind of story?
Anyway, Alexis is awful and stupid and we all know that. That's no surprise. Eventually Jim will finish digesting Quinn ("wah-lah!") and he will probably devour Alexis, so we don't need to worry about her too much longer. What we SHOULD worry about is his atomic poops. Talk about a Poop Nightmare. Poop. Breaking: 26-Year-Old College-Educated Man Can't Stop Making Poop Jokes.
Our last stop on this freight train of horrors is Vicki. Oh Vicki. Vicki who was an electric pencil eraser accident some years ago and has never been the same. If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times: You have to wait until the gecko DNA has fully fused with your own before you take the bandages off, Vicki. Otherwise you come out looking like cold pizza. Here's the straight honest good news: Briana doesn't have thyroid cancer. So good for that. Good things. Sincere good things.
BUT THE BIG NEWS was this: Vicki was making Housewife water, which we folks out here in Stinktown call margaritas, and she walked out to her patio and it was verryyyy sneaky the way they didn't show us who she was making the drink for and then...!!!! It was Jeana. Big fat bellowing Jeana, come from down the block to forage for crullers. It was so nice to see two old lizard friends hang out again. They spoke of old times and new times, fun times and sad times. Vicki was interviewed and she said "I think we're going to always be friends." Immediately Jeana was interviewed and she said "I hate that bitch." So, yay! Sweet times.
Vicki spent most of her time with Jeana bitching about all the other "bitches" calling them bitches and saying that they are so bitchy, those bitchy bitches. Jeana rolled her eyes so hard they popped out of their sockets and rolled into the pool, and while Vicki had Andy Cohen's "assistant" fish it out with the pool skimmer, she continued to harp on Alexis and Tamra and Gretchen and Garbage Marge the Garbage Barge and alla them. Will this be Vicki's last season? I think it might be! But who knows. We will have to wait until next week to find out. Next week is the finale. We've one episode to go.
In the meantime, Tamra will stare hard at her husband as he sits and watches the TV, she'll think about back when the marriage was young and the kids were babies and how she used to pray for moments of silence, for a quiet night like this one. But now all she wants to do is scream and shake the walls, yell something profane and shocking in Simon's ear, to break dishes and windows, to set off the burglar alarm and let it go forever. Then people will know, everyone will know. There's a fire inside her, a hot churning core. Something is happening to Tamra Barney. She just thought you should know.
And Gretchen will spit and stutter and fart and worry, because nobody likes Gretchen Rossi and she's wondering if maybe anyone ever did. She'll get drunk on sangria and take her stubby fingers and dial her phone and a sleeping Andy Cohen will answer and he'll say "Gretchen? What is it?" And Gretchen will laugh sadly and sneer at the phone and slur "You're such a fake and a liar and nobody likes you. Why doesn't anybody like Gretchen?" And Andy will be confused and then he'll hear the phone drop to the floor and a glass door sliding open and then a faint splash and then just the night, just the crickets, just the connection softly buzzing, the sound of distance.
Alexis will be bashing in her mother's chest with a hammer to convince her to get a boob job and Jim will watch her from the doorway, his beautiful blood-spattered Christian bride, smashing through bone and muscle, her mother's eyes wide with terror, Alexis weeping and screaming "You'll look so beautiful, mother!! Just like me!! Just like me!!" and then with one final thud the room goes quiet and her mother lies frozen on the bed and Jim looks at Alexis and undoes the sash on his dressing gown and says "God you're sexy," and they make love on her mother's pulverized body.
And Lynne will wander into the fifth dimension, or the fourth and a half, she can never quite tell. And in that place, up won't be down, it'll be sideways or hat. And everyone will speak Lynnelanguage and everyone won't even be there, there won't be an everyone or a no one, just one, just Lynne, just everything twisting and shifting, never staying still, and Lynne will be so happy, so warm and content until there is a loud slamming noise and she hears Hubby yelling "Jesus Christ, honey. How the hell did you get in the drier again?"
And Jeana and Vicki will just sit on the patio, drinking their juice, and they will laugh at it all. These too old broads, been around the word together, to hell and back, leathery bats flapping their wings toward the sky. "I love you," Vicki will murmur. And Jeana will chortle and say "Oh fuck you." And VIcki will smile and lean back in her chair and close her eyes and say "Yeah, fuck me."
And somewhere Andy Cohen will awake with a start, not from a phone call not from an alarm not from anything but a feeling, a strange and urging thought. "I've done something wrong," he will whisper in the dark apartment, New York droning along outside. "I've done something terribly wrong." And his "assistant" will stir and pat his back and lazily say, halfway between dreams and the world, "No baby, it was just right."
Harold Ford Jr. was a virtual unknown to New Yorkers before his pseudo-campaign began in early January, which means the voting citizens of New York have been forming their first impressions of him over these past six or so weeks. As everyone knows, first impressions are vital in determining how a person is viewed, something studies have confirmed. "If you get off on the wrong foot, the relationship may never be completely right again," researcher Robert Lount of Ohio State University's Fisher College of Business said in 2009 after conducting a study on bad first impressions. After a negative first impression, "a lot of times people end up writing people off." That's not good news for Ford, who’s faced media scrutiny that portrays him, variously, as a carpetbagger from Tennessee, a wealthy elitist, and a man with fluid positions on gay marriage and abortion. So as his deadline for finally making a decision about whether to run fast approaches (Sunday! Supposedly!), we wonder: Is it already too late for him? What can he do to make a new impression?
For this, we turned to Dr. Ann Demarais, who, quite appropriately for the purposes of this piece, is the founder and president of First Impressions, an executive coaching agency, and the author of the book First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You. In other words, she knows a lot about first impressions.
It'll be a "challenge" for Ford to overcome what was a "pretty bad impression," Demarias says. But Ford is, in fact, already working on some of the things Demarias suggests for him. To rebut the flip-flopper charge, Ford has been explaining why and how his positions have evolved — on gay marriage, for example. To counteract accusations of carpetbaggery, he's been traveling around the state and attempting to show real concern for New York issues.
In other areas, however, Ford has been lacking so far. He could especially use some flashes of humility to thwart his reputation as a snooty bank executive (not easy when you're making at least $2 million a year at Merrill Lynch). "What Ford could do is show some kind of crafted modesty, admit some small foibles, or have some kind of self-deprecation," Demarias says. "It’s more humanizing."
Overall, he also needs to work harder to get more positive coverage for himself, which will, over time, "tip the scales" away from the poor first impression he gave New Yorkers. Unfortunately, that may not be easy, since people have a bias for negative news, especially for someone they already have a negative impression of. A disastrous appearance with the Stonewall Democrats, for example, gets more attention than one of his many entirely pleasant "listening stops" at upstate dining establishments. "He has to have something that’s powerful going on up there that actually gets some press, more than just some ordinary ho-hum event," she says.
So, all in all, Ford has the ability to mount an image makeover? "I’m personally not convinced that he’ll be able to," Demarias says.
Blizzard Confession: Before last night, I had never really heard Robert Pattinson speak. He was always just this presence, this figure, that haunted my waking life. And yes, a single dream, that I’d rather not get into here. His face was stone, a Greek carving with a large, gaping mouth that never spoke. His hair, the crests of sh*twater wave, his face, the giant, gorgeous sh*tcreatures beneath. (This is all complimentary, chill.) But the voice… the voice had long eluded me.
I forced myself to read Twilight as more of a cultural experiment than anything else, but have still never seen the movie. Somehow, interviews with Pattinson had managed to sneak by my Google reader without making a pit stop in my ear canals. And now, years after his “hottest person on Earth” debut… it’s finally happened.
I heard Robert Pattinson speak.
But it wasn’t as his star-making character Edward Cullen, rather in his upcoming movie Remember Me, where Rob dons an American accent that fits him like a pair of irregular Dockers from the outlet store. It is thanks to this trailer that I realized I prefer my Robert Pattinson’s silent, and robots. His voice is just so much less Pattinsonny – ie a deep ol’ man voice — than I was hoping for.
Oh, what good could come from such a snowy, cold day? We're glad you asked! The kids at Refinery29 have somehow managed to get Mr. Marc Jacobs — Lorenzo Martone — to photoblog his fashion week. The snaps include shots of models at the Ruffian party, getting up close and personal with fur at Elise Øverland, a rather cute pic of Rachel Zoe laughing, and male models. Check out all his photos and more. [Refinery29]
After 38 long years, Carly Simon has revealed the subject of "You're So Vain" by creepily whispering the name of the guy that all the girls dreamed would be their partner in a song on her new album, Never Been Gone. The name: "David." Experts have already dismissed David Cassidy and David Bowie, and consensus seems to be mounting around the fact that it's David Geffen. And by consensus, we mean Geffen's Wikipedia profile has already been updated to reflect the the information. David Geffen! It's unimaginable. Our whole lives — well, from the moment we were cognitive music-listening beings — we assumed the mysterious, sultry, elusive protagonist of "You're So Vain" was a famous sex symbol, like Performance-era Mick Jagger, or Bonnie and Clyde–era Warren Beatty, or at the very least Sweet Baby James–era James Taylor. But David Geffen?!?! He's so corporate. So bald! So completely and utterly homosexual!
The worst of it is, by making this callous — nay, vain — decision to reveal this information in order to score some cheap publicity instead of taking it to her grave like we will the name of the fourth person we ever had sex with, Simon has taken away another one of a rapidly dwindling pool of Great American mysteries. We know that Mark Felt was Deep Throat, that the Skull and Bones society is just a bunch of drunk college kids, that Goldman Sachs is powered by a pair of nuclear testicles, and no one even cares anymore about who killed Jimmy Hoffa. And now we know this: One of the world's greatest love songs of the past century was written about the gay guy who backed Bill Clinton and Cats. Thanks a lot, Carly.
Maintaining that he has "never abused his office," Governor David Paterson just announced that he will not run for reelection this year. "No matter how difficult the circumstances have been, I’ve never let down my oath to serve the people of New York with faith and integrity," he said. "There’s more work to do. Up until the last few days I was looking to participate in that work in a full four-year term. But I am being realistic about politics. It hasn’t been the latest distractions, it’s been an accumulation of obstacles that have obfuscated me from bring my message to the public."
Pragmatically, he explained, it was simply impossible for him to try to maintain his campaign. "There are times in politics when you have to know not to strive for service and to step back. And that moment has come for me," he said. "It has become increasingly clear to me in the last few days that I cannot run for office and try to run the state’s business at the same time." When asked by a reporter whether he would endorse likely candidate Andrew Cuomo, Paterson said he'd "offer [his] assistance" but dropped it there. When asked about his famous quote that he would only leave his office in a box, or through the ballot box, he quipped: "I’m leaving because of the ballot box, because it will be hard to reelect me when I’m not running!"
AP - Fur, leather and wool dominated the runways Friday on the second day of Milan fall-winter 2010 fashion week, packed tight with shows as designers scrambled to get their work in while top editors are still in town.
Fashion Wire Daily - Fendi: Insouciant Chic
Godfrey Deeny
February 26th, 2010 @ 00:10 AM - Milan
How will elegant women dress this fall? Judging from the latest collection by Fendi, it will be in voluminous layers of majestic fabrics, billowing shapes anchored on the ground by exotic galoshes and faux rubber boots.
Vogue's Grace Coddington, André Leon Talley, and director R.J. Cutler gathered at the Barnes & Noble in Union Square last night to discuss the DVD release of The September Issue, chronicling the production of the biggest issue of their magazine. When asked their thoughts on the film, both editors had little to critique, though ALT revealed that he was hesitant about the entire project when production first began: “One day I saw Grace in the beginning of a fabulous show in Paris, at the Chanel Haute Couture show, having a huge row with R.J.,” he related, “and I was seated next to Anna Wintour and I just kept retreating to the back of my seat and thinking if this is what she’s having and he’s just begun, I’m going to pull back, too. So I said to him ‘I don’t want to have anything to do with you.’ But then we both became totally enamored and bonded and became friends.”
Cutler was quick to clarify: “Let me point out that the phrases ‘argument’ and ‘row’ both suggest a kind of dialogue, so the description of what was going on between Grace and me at the Chanel couture show I think has been misdescribed this evening. I think ‘pummeling’ might be a more apt description of the event itself, just for accuracy’s sake.” The firecracker in question was very excited about the extra scenes added to the DVD. “I was totally thrilled to see that the film got longer with all those outtakes, and of course, what I’m going to say is — I don’t know, but I’m especially pleased because my cats made the cut.”
Both editors also weighed in on how they think fashion is being portrayed in our culture right now and the influence of mediums like Twitter and Facebook. “André and I were agreeing that we don’t Twitter, we don’t blog, ” said Coddington. “I have a Facebook and a Twitter, I’m told, but I certainly didn’t start it and I certainly don’t, you know, look at it. I’ve never looked at it, and I certainly don’t add to it.” “Please! It’s fraudulent, it’s fraudulent! It’s fake, it’s bogus,” ALT interjected vehemently when informed he had both a Twitter and Facebook account in his name. “We really care about how something’s done and it takes us a long time to do it,” Coddington continued. “And it’s better for it, it really is. It’s done better. If you do something fast — which is what all those things make you do because you’re spending your whole time reading and then it's outdated in ten minutes or something — I don’t think that’s good for fashion because we are, we’re trying to speed up all those poor designers so they have fifteen collections a year, and it’s stupid because how many dresses can you wear? It makes them do it not so well, or they have a breakdown, as just very sadly happened. Alexander McQueen killed himself, and that’s part of that hysteria. It breaks my heart.” ALT agreed: “We come from the generation and the school — I call it old-school, and old-school is good. New-school is great, but old-school is better, and we have just been brought up in a world where … standards were high and we try to be the standard-bearers of that kind of quality for Vogue.”
According to Chicago Sun-Times columnist Lynn Sweet, White House Social Secretary Desirée Rogers told her today that she'll step down from her position next month. Rogers, who served the Obamas for just about fourteen months, was a somewhat controversial figure in a role that is traditionally relatively subdued. Known for her flashy fashion sense and appearances in several glossy magazine profiles, Rogers was seen by some inside the beltway as a little too in-the-spotlight for someone who is meant to be a workhorse for the First Family. This was thrown into relief when Rogers, clad in a fashion-forward Comme de Garçons gown, took a seat for herself at the Obamas' first State Dinner — while a Secret Service error transpired at the entrance to the event and two party crashers ended up sneaking inside. While the Obamas are said to easily forgive and forget about such slip-ups, after all the bad publicity that stemmed from that event things had to be pretty awkward in the East Wing for a while. Rogers gave no reason for her decision to step aside.
EVENTS TOMORROW
• Shop discounted designer wares at the first of ten Housing Works spring-preview sales. Find deals like a Zac Posen print dress for $250 and a Catherine Malandrino clutch for $150. Housing Works Yorkville, 1730 Second Ave., nr. 90th St. (212-722-8306); 10–6.
SUNDAY
• Have your photographs critiqued by Elle's senior photo editor and Abrams Books's editorial director. They'll offer advice and tips to aspiring photographers. PowerHouse Arena, 37 Main St., nr. Front St., Dumbo, Brooklyn; 10:30–5:30. Sign up at powerhouseportfolioreview.com.
MONDAY
• Bid on Oprah's shoes, handbags, and clothes on eBay during her Great Closet Cleanout. All proceeds benefit the Leadership Academy for Girls. Through 3/11. Bidding begins at 11 a.m. EST on 3/1 at eBay.com.
• Celebrate the U.S. Olympic team’s accomplishments at Patrick Melville Salon. The salon will offer discounts based on the team’s medal counts. The percentage off hair coloring will equal the gold-medal count, haircuts will equal the silver, and blowouts will equal the bronze. Additionally, all manicures using shades of red, white, or blue polish will be $18, a 25 percent discount. 45 Rockefeller Plaza, nr. 50th St. (212-218-8650); M–S (10–7).
SALES ENDING TOMORROW
• Shop deep discounts at the Theory women's and men's sample sale. Outerwear is $60, dresses are $45, knits are $30, skirts and shorts are $35, and T-shirts are $15. 261 W. 36th St., nr. Seventh Ave., second fl. (212-947-8748); T–Th (11–7), F (11–6), S (11–5).
ENDING SUNDAY
• Designer clothing, shoes, accessories, and gifts for men and women are 50 to 75 percent off at the Barneys warehouse sale. 255 W. 17th St., nr. Seventh Ave. (212-450-8400); M–F (10–9), S–Su (10–7); Su, Feb. 28 (10–7).
• Suits, jackets, and coats are up to 75 percent off at the Chocheng sale. 51 E. 63rd St., nr. Park Ave. (212-967-5044); call for hours.
• Vintage fall/winter merchandise from Bill Blass, Pierre Cardin, and more is on sale at Edith Machinist. Browse the $50, $75, and $100 racks. 104 Rivington St., nr. Ludlow St. (212-979-9992); F (1–8), S (noon–8), Su (noon–7).
• Dresses, jumpsuits, tops, and more are up to 80 percent off at Noisette's closing sale. 46 N. 6th St., nr. Wythe Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-388-5188); S (noon–7), Su (noon–6).
• Cashmere sweaters, dresses, handbags, and more are up to 90 percent off at the Luca Luca sale. 19 W. 36th St., nr. Fifth Ave. (212-755-2444); Th–F (8:30–7), S–Su (11–5).
• Fall/winter 2009 boots, shoes, and handbags are up to 50 percent off at the Dusica Dusica sample sale. The Besta boot is $447.50 (originally $895), the Jill ankle boot is $485 (originally $695), all sample boots are $250, and all sample flats and pumps are $150. 67 Prince St., nr. Crosby St. (212-966-9099); M–S (11–7), Su (noon–7).
• All jewelry and totes by Pretty Little Thing are 30 percent off online. Online only.
• Silk dresses are $15 to $40 (originally $196) and tunics are $35 (originally $170) at the Amanda Uprichard warehouse sale. Friday: Twnz showroom, 226 W. 37th St., nr. Seventh Ave., third fl. (212-719-0320); 10–6. Saturday and Sunday: Cutie Room, 5 Rivington St., nr. Bowery (212-925-2557); noon–6.
• Overstock, discontinued items, and floor samples are up to 70 percent off at Alessi. Soho: 130 Greene St., nr. Prince St. (212-941-7300); M–S (11–7), Su (noon–6). Upper East Side: 30 E. 60th St., at Madison Ave. (212-317-9880); T–S (10–6).
ENDING MONDAY
• All vintage men's merchandise is 50 percent off at Laurel Canyon Vintage. The stock includes flannel and Western shirts, boots, denim jackets, and vintage T-shirts. 63 Thompson St., nr. Broome St. (212-343-1658); daily (noon–7).
Lydia Fenet, Elisabeth Saint-Amand, and Joann Pailey.
When we saw Joann Pailey, the market director of Elle, wearing tiny diamonds glued on her eyelids at the annual Diamond Deco Ball at the Frick last night, we felt compelled to ask her what she thought about vajazzling, the new trend in which salons are offering to affix tiny Swarovski crystals to their customers' bikini lines. Pailey looked at us blankly. "Va-what?" We explained. "I think I'm gonna stick with the eyes," she said.
Frick Young Collectors chair Lydia Fenet was also not onboard. "I mean, I don't want to rule it out, because I don't want to insult any of my friends who might have this," she offered, diplomatically. "But it's not something I need to see. Especially at the Diamond Deco Ball."
But some of the other socialites in attendance were more open.
"I think it's kind of cool," said publicist Susan Shin. "It's a little bit of fun. It's like that secret that you know you have that nobody else does. And you have that little smirk on your face, and you're like, "Well ... " She reflected. "But you definitely have to be waxed if you're going to do it, otherwise things can get pretty gnarly."
“I support whatever makes somebody feel beautiful," said publicist Alison Aston. "I mean, I’ve heard of people doing, like carving out things, you know, as a design, tattoos, you know … and Swarovski crystal? How beautiful. Go for it.”
But would she do it herself? “I don’t know if I want to answer that,” she said.
Austin Scarlett, the lip-glossed candidate from an early season of Project Runway, approved of the impulse behind the idea, but quibbled with the material. “Generally any form of personal adornment I think is wonderful,” he said. “It’s human nature to want to beautify oneself. But I’d rather maybe some gold powder or something like that.”
"You know, for Valentine's Day I got a little fun toy, dot dot dot," purred jewelry designer Coralie Charriol Paul. "So, you know, whatever tickles your down there."
"I think any help we can get in the bedroom, the better," added Lisa "Lulu" Salzer, of jewelry line Lulu Frost.
"I think it's great," declared designer Leslie Blume. "I'm sorry, I think it's really, really, funny. And I remember ten years ago there was this Gucci campaign when Tom Ford was really hot, and he had all of his models strip down and there were shaved G's in their pubes. I thought that was just a delight. Why the hell not? Why not? You know, we have too few ways to express ourselves in today's society. Twitter is a bore."
The sign at the entrance to SeaWorld in Orlando, Florida on February 24. SeaWorld said it would resume killer whale shows on Saturday, three days after an orca leapt out of his tank, dragging his veteran... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 11:58 am
Beauty this season showcased new ways to do your lips, eyes, and hair, from heavily done-up to undone. Donna Karan's makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury painted lips cherry red. Tom Pecheux topped pouts with sparkles at Doo.Ri, and Makky of M.A.C. Cosmetics created a two-tone lip at Nanette Lepore. As for eyes, when they weren't completely plain, they were dramatic: Diane Von Furstenberg's peepers featured green, gold, purple, and navy hues, while Carolina Herrera created a purple, shimmery, smoky eye. Both Devi Kroell and Jeremy Scott played with geometric lines for their eye makeup as well. And hair was unkempt at Proenza Schouler, perfectly knotted at Badgley Mischka, and braided in a fishtail at Adam. Click ahead to see the best beauty that fall has to offer, including the biggest beauty trend of the season.
What did seven hours of speechifying at yesterday's health-care summit do for the Democrats? Not much. The Republicans kept their crazy in check, and the political dynamic therefore remains unchanged, Johh Heilemann writes. The question today, as it was yesterday, is whether Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid have the votes to pass this legislation. That's a big if. [NYM]
We get some fun global emails here at MTV Networks. Some are just funny in their complete lack of irony, while others, like this one that we received today, are just literally pornographic and would get anyone instantly fired at 99.9% of jobs that exist:
Subject: FW: Ron Jeremy Porn
Hello everyoneeeee. By any chance do any of you have ANY porn featuring the one and only Ron Jeremy that Undateable can borrow!
No worries… you won’t be judged ;-)
Man, at my old job, the one time I sent an email with seventy .gifs of dancing erect penises to the CEO and his family, they were all like “Mr. Hopper that was slightly unreasonable.” I was like, “Eff this Peace Corps BS, I’m gonna go do something that matters, where I won’t be judged for my compulsions to send global emails that yell “D*CKS! D*CKS! D*CKS! D*CKS!” from your Outlook before you even open them.
Bosses are so unreasonable about sending their children d*ck emails! That Dilbert comic was totally right.
Fashion Wire Daily - It says a great deal about designers current search for optimism when one of the bellwether fashion brands on the planet, Prada, finds inspiration in the early innocence of the Baby Boomer era in American life.
Giant George is a Great Dane with a people face whose owners claim is the largest dog in the entire world. And, according to their website, they offer up some pretty convincing evidence to support their case:
“In my 45 years of experience working with giant breed dogs, without question, George is the tallest and largest dog I have ever seen.” Dr. William Wallace, Buena Pet Clinic, Tucson Arizona.
“He is certainly the largest dog I have ever seen.” Dr. James P. Boulay, Veterinary Specialty Center Tucson, Arizona.
*Removing glasses arm from mouth* I dare say it MUST be the biggest dog, if two doctors swear it’s the biggest dog they’ve ever seen. Also, George is actually in the Guinnes Book of World Records… because he’s 7 feet long. 7 FEET LONG!!
Put a sweatband on this dog’s head and his hind paws in little baby Air Jordan’s and he could technically be a BASKETBALL STAR.
Not to mention an amazing prom date and life partner. Check out all these things we have in common:
· Sits in a chair like a human
· Consumes 110 pounds of food every month
· Has to Bend Over to Drink Out of the Kitchen Faucet
· Sleeps on a Queen Size Bed…alone
Our Match.com ad is going to be soooer romantic…
Just photoshop my face over this dude’s face and boom: True love.
Even though he is a bit of a backseat driver… *playful dog slap*
If there's one main theme we got from the New York shows, it's this: We're in a fur moment. Every runway piled on the fur and shearling: in trims, in coats, in light touches here and there. Marc Jacobs's beige coat with fur cuffs and trim is the look of the season. Evening was also big, but it's a more relaxed, casual evening than what we're used to. The red carpet is a little bit groovier this season, with looser dresses and longer hemlines. Fall has an easy sexiness about it that's wearable and still quite chic. Click ahead to see our picks of the season.
It was the question that had eluded scientists for decades and fueled countless massive biker bar brawls. Dan Brown even tackled the question in an early draft of Angels and Demons. Who exactly was Carly Simon singing about in the 70’s hit “You’re So Vane”? Mick Jagger, Kris Kristofferson, Cat Stevens and Warren Beatty were all prime suspects. A small faction thought maybe it was Dr. Teeth from The Muppet Show. But were any of them vain enough?
A definite answer had never been found… until now. The Daily Mail reports:
Simon, 64, ended the 38 year guessing game by whispering the name backwards on a reworked version of the song for her new album Never Been Gone, out next week.
Previously Simon had always claimed the song was a ‘composite’ of people she knew.
In 1972 when she wrote the song billionaire Geffen was the head of her Elektra record label.
It is thought she was inspired to write the damning lyrics after Geffen put all his time and energy into promoting her rival, Joni Mitchell, over her.
So there you go. Our long national nightmare is over. It is official:
Now we can finally start tackling the question of who let those f*#%ing dogs out.
Johnny Weir is fired up over comments by a pair of Canadian broadcasters who suggested his costumes and "body language" set a bad example for male skaters and joked he may have to take a gender test.
This handout from the Moscow House of Photography(MHP) in Moscow shows Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev(C) holding a cob of corn during a meeting in Tashkent, Uzbekistan in 1961. Khrushchev, the Soviet... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 10:18 am
This handout from the Moscow House of Photography(MHP) in Moscow shows Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev(2ndL) meeting with a group of Gypsies at an unknown location in the 1960's. Khrushchev, the Soviet... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 10:18 am
This handout from the Moscow House of Photography(MHP) in Moscow shows Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev(C), Nikolai Bulganin(L) and Mikhail Suslov(R) at a dacha outside of Moscow in 1956. Khrushchev, the... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 10:18 am
A handout photograph released by the Moscow House of Photography(MHP) in Moscow shows Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev(R) and an unidentifed man feeding each other at an unknown location in 1955. Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 26 Feb 2010 | 10:18 am
Haven’t posted about the death of Andrew Koenig, aka “Boner” from Growing Pains, mostly because I didn’t have much else to add to the story other than, well, it’s random and sad. TV Buzz has a short, interesting post about the pop culture news cycle, and here’s CBS News’ story on Koenig below. Feel free to leave any additional Boner thoughts in the comments.
Reuters - Minutes to go until showtime, and the cool calm that was has turned into a manic frenzy as stylists, makeup artists and hairdressers add the final touches to the models about to strut down the catwalk.
The Newsroom - Burberry has become the premiere brand to break through fashion week's fourth wall this season by staging the world's first-ever global 3D fashion show. (To note, the British fashion brand wasn't the only one to engage with the technology conceived more than half-a-century ago: Los Angeles tailored menswear label Native Son's New York Fashion Week presentation included a multi-dimensional video that required 3D glasses for viewing.)
John Mayer apologized for being “an A-hole” at a concert at Madison Square Garden last night. He added, “From now on, I will only ever be a d-bag and a bit of a prick.”
Jerry Seinfeld is in trouble with the NYPD for using official police parking credentials on his car. He tried to explain it was just a plot device to connect George and Elaine’s storylines.
Actor Seth Greengot engaged to girlfriendClare Grant. Sorry ladies, you had your chance. Should have locked him down after Airborne.
Simon Cowell also reportedly got engaged. However, in five years he can opt out and be replaced in the marriage by Howard Stern.
Two and a Half Men star Jon Cryer was allegedly the target of a hit from his ex-wife. Charlie Sheen isn’t looking so dysfunctional now, is he?
Reuters - Tim Burton's trademark winsomely outlandish style doesn't prepare you for the thoroughly enjoyable spectacle that is his "Alice in Wonderland." A fantastical romp that proves every bit as transporting as that movie about the blue people of Pandora, his "Alice" is more than just a gorgeous 3D sight to behold. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 26 Feb 2010 | 7:24 am
The favorite to pick up the Academy Award for best foreign language film this year, Jacques Audiard's gripping crime epic "A Prophet" is the kind of movie that never goes out of style.
"Growing Pains" actor Andrew Koenig, missing since February 14, committed suicide, his father told reporters after his son's body was found Thursday in a park in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Reuters - Woody Harrelson, who's on a roll thanks to his Oscar-nominated turn in "The Messenger" and a crowd-pleasing one in "Zombieland," keeps the personal winning streak going with "Defendor," a dark comedy about a delusional everyman who thinks he's a superhero. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 26 Feb 2010 | 2:21 am
Reuters - A lesser-known entry in the George A. Romero living-dead oeuvre, 1973's "The Crazies" has been given the remake treatment to surprisingly satisfying effect. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 26 Feb 2010 | 2:20 am
Considering where all the accolades have been going recently, it wasn't much of a stretch to predict big things for Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire at the 41st Annual...
American Idol contestants are, at best, young and idealistic, and at worst, well, young and deluded, and sadly, last night's eliminated singer Tyler Grady falls into the second...
Walter Koenig said that his son Andrew "took his own life."
A source close to the investigation into the death of Andrew Koenig tells E! News that the 41-year-old actor's...
Jim Carrey's family just experienced a very fortunate event.
The 47-year-old actor became a first-time grandpa Friday when his daughter Jane welcomed her first child with her...
You know a relationship's trouble when you're still dealing with fallout from your ex 20 years later.
Such is the case with former Charlie Sheen paramour Kelly Preston, who was...
When he finally returns to the PGA Tour, don't look for any Gatorade in Tiger Woods' Nike bag.
A day after the athletic wear company repledged its undying love for the apologetic...
Brooke Burke, Melissa Rycroft and Vanessa Minnillo may be the leading ladies in the running to replace Samantha Harris on Dancing With the Stars, but has anyone thought of Kelly...
Harry Potter has turned into quite the upstanding young wizard.
Daniel Radcliffe shot a PSA Friday for the Trevor Project, an organization close to his heart that provides 24/7...
Mike Seaver will always miss Boner.
Andrew Koenig's former Growing Pains costar Kirk Cameron was one of the first celebrities to speak out when the actor went missing; it's only...
