AP - The Friday finale runway show of "Project Runway" had so many designers that even its surprise guest judge had trouble keeping track.

Misdirected Mail, Volume I [Tip Box]

People often send us messages that they intended to send to a person profiled on Cityfile. They see the "Tips" box next to a particular profile and assume that's the perfect way to get in touch with some celebrity, politician, fashion designer, real estate mogul, or CEO, and off  they go! As you can probably imagine, some of the messages are pretty amusing. A few selections below (with names blacked out to protect the innocent):

It's nice to know that even if you've been accused of running a giant insider-trading ring, you still have friends out there. Even if they live in Senegal and want you to give them money.

And people wonder why so many kids are screwed up today.

This is ominous! Cutler is a famous Mob defense lawyer. (He represented John Gotti for many years.) Now "The Bookkeeper" is telling him to get in touch ASAP? We've seen enough Mafia movies to know this can't be good:

Another message for Bruce. (Of course, Mob lawyers have no principles, so why this person asked this question is beyond us.)

It's sort of fitting that fans of the Guardian Angels founder/radio host would be the sort of people who only have access the Internet at the library, no?

As New York City's County Clerk, Goodman is responsible for jury selection in the city. This, however, will not get you out of jury duty. (Even if you provide contact info for your doctor.)

Welcome to modern air travel.

Blau is the president of The Related Companies, which controls about $10 billion in real estate around the country. He doesn't do scam rentals in Santa Monica that are advertised on Craigslist. (At least, as far as we know.)

It looks like someone wants Ms. Karan to know her boyfriend isn't what he says he is. His approach could be a bit more polite, though!

William H. Macy: World’s Most Unexpected Drag Queen

William H. Macy was in attendance at yesterday's Heart Truth Red Dress Collection Fashion Show, playing the role of dutiful husband as his wife Felicity Huffman sashayed down the runway in an Oscar de la Renta dress. But, as Macy told us, Huffman's not the only one in the relationship who has experimented with female attire. "I've worn really high heels, really high ones," said Macy. "There was a friend of ours who was having a women-only engagement party, and I thought, 'The hell with this,' and I dressed up in full drag."

The first step to building the perfect outfit was getting the proper footwear. "At Frederick’s of Hollywood they have high heels for men," he said. "I mean, it’s death defying. You can break your ankle in a New York minute." To find the perfect dress, he only needed to go as far as his wife's closet; turns out, they're the same size. "He's slender," she told us after the show. Did she give him any dressing tips? "Yeah, my tip was 'give me back my dress.' He seemed to like it a little too much." But she needn't worry about it being a regular fashion choice. "I was miserable," he said, recalling the pain of high heels. "I realized why when you get women home and get them out of those clothes, they say thank you."

Read more posts by Bennett Marcus

Filed Under: party chat, felicity huffman, heart truth red dress collection, people, william h. macy

Iron Man and Batman Begins Are the Same Movie, Basically

You know, the one about the playboy billionaire who fights his way out of prison and builds an awesome suit? (Etc., etc., uncannily.)

Read more posts by Edith Zimmerman

Filed Under: movies, batman begins, clickables, iron man, video

10 Things Jon Gosselin’s Penis Probably Looks Like

Jon Gosselin’s ex-jump-off Hailey Glassman has been desperately trying to stay relevant in a world where the Gosselin’s are pretty much over and done with. Her latest attempt is by posing on the cover of the Jersey Shore cast’s favorite news source, Steppin’ Out Magazine, discussing in great detail the size of Jon’s philandering phallus. And maybe the reason why he’s so good at making babies is because his penis is the size of one’s:

“He’s hung like a nine-year-old boy,” she snipes. “I’m serious. This is true,” she adds, even claiming he measures up to “3 inches… He said, ‘You know how subconscious [sic] I am of down there,’” Glassman recalls. She admits she wasn’t very sensitive about the topic. “I would tell him to his face, ‘I don’t think you would cheat on me because you’re so small.’ I would tell him that all the time.”

We got to thinking… 3 inches is pretty small… so small, in fact, that we had trouble picturing what Jon Gosselin’s penis must look like. Here are 10 things we think Jon Gosselin’s penis probably looks like:

10. Megan Fox’s Thumb

9. A Poached Egg

8. Simon Cowell’s Nipple

7. A Newborn Bird

6. An Austrian 2mm Pinfire Miniature Gun

5. The Old Lady’s Land in Titanic

4. An Asian Baby

3.A Lego Pip Brick

2. Ed Hardy’s Penis

1. A Vagina

What do you think Jon Gosselin’s penis looks like?

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Simon Doonan’s Two Cents on the David Paterson Rumors

"When people don't say what it is, one can't help but think it involves a tranny. It's better to come out and tell everyone. If you have a scandal, put it out there. If you don't, people are just going to think it involves a tranny. I should say 'transgender'? A trans-person. When people are being super evasive about it, one can't help thinking it involves a trans-person. Maybe I'm wrong. Just speculating."

Read more posts by Mike Vilensky

Filed Under: he said it not us, party chat, simon doonan

Citibank Is Giving Everyone Cash Bonuses This Valentine’s Day!

Ugh, Bonus season. Here we all are, looking around at those greedy fat cats raking in ginormous bucks (in stock, but still), thinking to ourselves, "Hey, I bailed you out, where's my bonus?" Unfair. But you know who feels our pain? Citigroup. And so this Valentine's Day, now that they can afford it, they've sensitively arranged a little something for the Little People, too.

Right now, at the branch on Canal Street here in New York, employees are handing out heart-covered goody bags containing four Hershey's Kisses and a pink card that promises that if you open a "free" checking account with one of the Least Trusted Banks In America (which will remain free" for at least a year due to extensive legal action — though you'll still be responsible for all of the overdraft fees — but will likely begin leveling extortionate fees on customers with less than $1,500 in combined accounts, at which point it's doubtful that you'll be able to do anything about it, as they have notoriously bad customer care), you will — ta-da! — receive a "CASH BONUS" of $100! Between that sweet deal and the sugar high, you can almost forget that to get that $100 in what many believe is soon to be devalued currency, you had to give Citibank $45 billion.

Read more posts by Evan Mulvihill and Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: unfortunate phrasing, bitterness, business, citibank, citigroup, marketing

Multimillionaire Pop Star in Standoff With Impoverished African Villagers [Feuds]

"Malawi's government has told a group of villagers they will have to move to make way for a $15 million girls' school being built by pop star Madonna. Residents have refused to leave the site just outside Lilongwe, the capital." [AP]

This Just In: The Office Talks Up Pam and Jim's Baby

Coming Soon: NYC's First Gay 'Resort' [Real Estate]

Earlier this week a real estate developer announced plans to open an aquarium in Times Square filled with sharks and penguins. But that isn't the only ambitious new project headed to the neighborhood. A gay resort may be coming soon, too:

Officially described as "The Out NYC: a hospitality and entertainment destination geared to the gay community," the overall project, due to be completed by early next year, is informally dubbed "a hetero-friendly urban resort" by its developers. In addition to 123 guest rooms and a 10,000-square-foot club capable of serving 650 to 750 patrons, the project will also include a gym, spa, restaurant and 24-7 café, making it the most ambitious commercial development ever to court New York's gay community.

Fun! The only problem? Its location on West 42nd Street, as you can see:

Yes, it will be located directly across the street from a police precinct—the Manhattan South Task Force, no less—which should offset objections by the community board, but could also put a bit of a damper on the fun, too. Clubs rarely benefit from having a dozen police cars parked in front of them at all times.

Gay nightlife gets boost with ambitious hotel project [Chelsea Now]

HUG-E-GRAM: Send Your Valentine Some Severed Arms To Hug Themselves!

Want to hug your loved one this Valentine’s Day, but you just can’t manage to get in the same room as them to do so? Now, you can send them something that is literally the exact same thing with the new Hug-E-Gram, a pair of inanimate arms you can mail to your special someone so they can wrap it around themselves and try really hard to delude themselves into believing it’s something resembling a hug:

The website even lists the many reasons why sending severed arms is a perfect Valentine’s gift:

- It shows you love someone when you cannot be there

- It is a unique gift that lasts forever

- It lets you feel a hug anytime you need one

- It has Hamburger Helper hands for some reason*

- I’d sooner have my ghost spirit inhabit the body of Whoopi Goldberg to hug my Valentine before I’d send her one of these*

[*Possibly added my me]

So who will YOU be sending a Hug-E-Gram to this Valentine’s Day? I was thinking my mother, but then I realized she might mistakenly interpret the severed arms as some sort of mob threat, freak out, and enter the Witness Protection Program, so maybe I’ll have to just stick with my usual Whoopi Goldberg Ghost option.

'Housewives' recap: Lynne is hit hard

Sex Tape Rocks Palestinian Government

A top aide to Palestinian president Mahmoud Abbas was secretly recorded trying to have sex with a women who came to him seeking help with a family problem. On the video, which was aired — gleefully, we imagine — on Israeli television, the aide, Rafiq Husseini, is seen undressing and talking to the woman, who is off-screen. Husseini, who possibly has never had sex before, asks her, "Do I turn off the light or do you? What is the procedure?" [AP via Breitbart]

Read more posts by Dan Amira

Filed Under: headlines you don't expect to write, palestine, rafiq husseini, sex tapes

Jeffrey Friedman and Robert Epstein(R)

Judah Friedlander Loves Carrie Fisher, Hates Arrogance

Name: Judah Friedlander, The World Champion
Age: 40
Neighborhood: Queens

Occupation: Stand-up Comedian. He'll be doing four extra-special (for the ladies) Valentine's Shows this Saturday and Sunday at Comix.

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Detective Gino Felino.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
I still gotta go with the cevapcici with kajmak at Sarajevo restaurant in Queens.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Well I got lots of jobs. Stand-up comedy I do every day. That's at night. I sometimes film 30 Rock all day. And I'm working on my instructional karate book, World Champion Karate Book, by the World Champion, Judah Friedlander which comes out later this year from It Books, a new subsidiary of HarperCollins. Oh yeah, I also go fucking insane all day. Oh, and I just remembered: I also spend time explaining to people on Facebook and Twitter that it really is me that they're talking to and not my assistant or publicist. I don't have an assistant or publicist. So, yes, this is really me answering your questions.

Would you live here on a $35,000 salary?
Yes. I've lived here for half that amount!

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
Carrie Fisher's show Wishful Drinking. That chick fuckin' rocks. Easily the best one-person show I've ever seen. Legitimately funny, heavy, and serious at the same time, without ever pandering, being cheesy, manipulative, or forced. Carrie's the real deal — a great writer and a great performer — and naturally funny.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
Yes. But I also hook them up with single chicks and dudes: I give them models who can't get boyfriends because they're so attractive that men are too intimidated to ask them out; and I give them confused but confident NYU students who are trying to find themselves.

What's your drink?
I don't drink. No liquids at all. Just solids.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
I kill everything I eat. And I eat every day.

What's your favorite medication?
I hook up with lots of hot female doctors, but I never take their drugs.

What's hanging above your sofa?
I don't have a sofa. But on the wall, above where a sofa could go, is a painting I made of Bigfoot holding a mermaid that's part unicorn and has a freshly severed arm. Several feet below the painting is the floor, which has all kinds of shit piled up on it. It's very messy. The Hoarders TV show was going to profile my living room, but they deemed it "too disgusting."

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
One dollar.

When's bedtime?
About 6:30 a.m.

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
The Old Times Square, because they had Playland. A 24-hour video arcade. They had ten Pac-Man machines next to each other, which were next to five Galaxian machines stacked up against seven Defender machines. And tons more. And all the games were a quarter. Come on, man, you can't beat that. And there was pressure, because if you didn't play well, the people watching would think you were a pussy — and they would let you know that you were a pussy by either expressing it to you verbally or physically, or both. And you couldn't just play the same game over and over all day. Because the other people waiting to play would put their quarter on the arcade game, either by its marquee, or next to the screen. And that quarter meant that they had reserved the next game. Sometimes there'd be seven quarters stacked up there. So if you had a shitty game, you'd have to wait for seven other people to play first before you could play again. And you had to be careful you didn't get your wallet stolen while you were playing the game. It was a very intense situation.

What do you think of Donald Trump?
I like Trump. He's got a good attitude. Whether you agree with him or not, that man has an opinion. And he expresses it. And you gotta respect that. There's too many people in this town now who don't have an opinion or an attitude. They have to read an article or a blog or have a conference with their friends before they can have their "own" opinion. And also, a little-known fact about Trump: and he won't admit this — but he comes to me for advice on dating women.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
Hipsters pretending to be cool, but really they're just arrogant. There's no need for arrogance. Everyone's just trying to get through the day. Relax, everybody.

Who is your mortal enemy?
I have no enemies. And that includes people from Jersey and Staten Island. I'm a New Yorker who LIKES "bridge and tunnel" people!

When's the last time you drove a car?
Five minutes ago.

How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
It has not. I don't do Wall Street, and I don't crash. But I did like the movie Wall Street.

Times , Post, or Daily News?
What are you talking about? New York 1 News all the way, kid! Channel No. 1.

Where do you go to be alone?
Not in my head. Let's see. That's a tough one. Probably the laundromat.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
Good question. I don't know what it means to be a New Yorker anymore. I guess if you work for a giant corporation and you've lived here for more than six weeks, you're a New Yorker now. I think I used to know what it meant to be a New Yorker. I guess if you don't eat at Cosi sandwich shop you're a real New Yorker. If you don't go to Hopstop.com to find your way around the city, you're a real New Yorker. If you make too much noise on the sidewalk at night and bother people living in overpriced apartments, you're a real New Yorker. If you get mugged, and then immediately go eat a slice with the money hidden in your sock that they did not steal from you, you're a real New Yorker. If you cross the street wherever and whenever you want, you're a New Yorker. And if you walk fast, you're a New Yorker. Nobody walks fast in this city anymore. Everyone walks slow, and then goes to Equinox.

Read more posts by Vanita Salisbury

Filed Under: 21 questions, judah friedlander

Survivor's First Castoff: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

TV recap: 'Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains

The Madoffs Aren't Out of the Woods Yet [Fraudsters]

We haven't heard much about the Madoff clan the past few months. That's not because the feds grew bored and decided to give up. They've been quietly assembling a case against Bernie's brother (Peter) and two sons (Andy and Mark), and may eventually charge them with tax fraud for using Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities as their "personal piggy bank":

The exact nature of the potential tax violations isn't clear. Tax-fraud cases often involve the alleged failure to declare income or making false deductions, such as classifying personal expenses as deductible business costs.

If Peter, Andy and Mark used their corporate American Express cards the way Bernie did, it's safe to say it's an open and shut case.

Prosecutors Set Sights on Madoff Kin [WSJ]
Related: Bernie Bought His Bagels by the Metric Ton [Cityfile]

Lost's Michael Emerson Is Found on The Soup

Women as Shallow as Men, Says Dating Site [Modern Romance]

You might imagine that, after scanning guys' dating profiles, women would be turned off by the douche who's so proud of his gym-honed abs that he poses shirtless.  But scientifically-collated data begs to differ: Dating site OKCupid has found that men whose profile photos include a shirtless shot get more responses—but only if they're the proud possessors of a six-pack. Otherwise, it's best to unveil your flabby love handles in person, duh.

Needless to say, if you're a woman, you should hoik your boobs up to your chin for the camera: there's a direct correlation between cleavage-exposure and number of responses, says OKCupid. 

In conclusion: If you want to get a date in time for Valentine's day, just put pride, decorum, and dignity aside and adopt D.J. Pauly D or JWoww as your role model.

4 Myths of Online Dating Photos Revealed [Livescience]

Eric Dane to be in delivery room for baby's birth

Fire Department Shutting Down Hipster Trailer Park

One day, not that long ago at all, a Bushwick artist could dream of living in a trailer park right here in the city, in a Wi-Fi- and A/C-equipped trailer surrounded by fellow artists, with a communal roof garden and a coop of squawking chickens to share. Now, that dream may be gone. Around half an hour ago the fire department arrived at the Brooklyn Nut Factory, the site of said trailer park, and posted signs demanding that residents vacate immediately, a tipster hipster tells Daily Intel. Members of the FDNY had visited the premises last week, our source said, when there was a gas leak from one of the trailers, wherein they discovered the settlement for the first time. "They were like, 'Why is there a trailer park, with chickens?'" our source said. Daily Intel is waiting to hear back from FDNY, but in the meantime, there are two things we can take away from this situation: One is that interestingly, not all firepeople read the Post. Two is that apparently you can talk about your totally illegal activity in a major metropolitan newspaper and not get immediatelyshut down.

Update: A spokesman for the Fire Department confirms that they, in conjunction with the Buildings Department, issued a "partial vacate order," effective immediately, for the first floor of the building, where the trailer utopia is located. "What's going on there is not legal," he added.

Earlier: Bushwick Hipsters Now Living in Trailers

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: neighborhood news, bushwick, campers, hipsters, real estate, trailers, what the kids are doing, yurts

Peter Gabriel

Madonna: Do-Gooder or Home-Wrecker?

Spotted [Out & About]

Naomi Campbell paying her respects to Alexander McQueen outside the McQueen store on West 14th Street ... Keanu Reeves leaving his hotel ... Kate Bosworth doing some shopping in SoHo ... Kim Kardashian heading out for the night with Reggie Bush ... Katharine McPhee leaving Century 21 ... Whitney Port walking around in the West Village ... and Katie Holmes leaving the Bowery Hotel with Suri and later stopping off at Magnolia Bakery to buy a cupcake.

SIMPSONS DID IT: Realtor Sells Woman House Without Mentioning Previous Owner’s Suicide

A woman in Massachusetts recently closed on a new house, only to find out two days later that the previous owner committed suicide inside the house, a detail which the realtor — one Lionel Hutz — conveniently failed to mention. Note the similarities between this real-life deal and the plot of the Simpsons’ “Realty Bites” episode (I assume the price on the house had been “slashed, repeatedly!”):

* Friday, January 15th – Closed on our new house

* Sunday, January 17th – Learned from a neighbor that the previous owner had committed suicide in the house.

* Had I been given the history of what occurred, I would not have bought the home.

* Both the listing and buyers agent worked in the [redacted] office.

* Coldwell is claiming that neither agent was aware.

* They are doing nothing to rectify the situation

Apparently, the buyer has since come to terms with the situation (like the Flanderses did) and is still living in the house, but regardless, whether or not you’re superstitious, I think we can all agree: It’s awesome that real-life realtors are paying homage to Simpsons characters and not disclosing houses’ murderous histories to sell them. We can all agree that’s what happened and it’s awesome, right? I can’t hear you so I assume you’re saying “yes”.

We’ll tack the story onto this list as #8. That’s nice work, boys.

Movie review: 'The Wolfman'

Dear Giant Pig Rodent: Will You Be My Valentine?

The capybara – or “barnacle goose,” if you’re Catholic — is an odd-looking Brazilian pig rat who is often served with rice and beans in South America. But if you ask us, we’d much rather treat one of these creatures to rice and beans at a Valentine’s Day dinner, because if these photos are any indication, they have excellent manners. They also have soulful eyes and don’t mind a little public display of affection… and, apparently, they eat their own fecal matter.

Look through this gallery, and then realize maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to share a glass of red wine with one of these guys… their giant, three toes curled ever so gently around the stem as they comment on the merlot’s finish… then the walk home, the clicking of his giant nails up to your doorstep, where he smears his scent glands all over your knees (they’re about 2 feet tall) before trotting off back home… and you think “Is this it?? Is this what love feels like??” before calling your mother and telling her you’ve found the one… Annnnyways, check out this gallery!

[via Splash News Online]

VIDEO: Kitty Vs. Robot Arm – Who Ya Got?

I won’t spoil the outcome of this epic bout, but let’s just say, if you had any doubts about how much cats love to be pestered over and over again by robotic arms, this video should clear them up:

Heart Truth Red Dress Show Kicks Off Fashion Week

The Heart Truth Red Dress event featured 20 celebrities in red dresses which will be auctioned off for heart disease awareness and research.

McQueen death leaves turmoil

Frisbee inventor dies at 90 - CNN

The Guardian

Frisbee inventor dies at 90 CNN Walter Fredrick "Fred" Morrison holds a Frisbee in a photo from Wham-O's Web site. He invented the flying disc. (CNN) -- Some mourners may bring Frisbees to Saturday's memorial service for Walter Fredrick "Fred" Morrison, ... Fred Morrison, inventor of the Frisbee, dies at 90Washington Post Fred Morrison, Creator of a Popular Flying Plate, Dies at 90New York Times Inventor Spun Famous Toy FrisbeeWall Street Journal The Associated Press -Danbury News Times -Christian Science Monitor all 512 news articles »

'Office' wedding puts spotlight on Niagara Falls

Curvy Goddesses at Heart Truth Red Dress (Fashion Wire Daily)

Fashion Wire Daily - Though Valentine's Day is still a couple of days away, love was in the air - and not just the disco song, though that was on the speakers there, too - as actress Felicity Huffman swooped down and gave a big kiss to her husband William H. Macy as she walked down the runway for the Heart Truth Red Dress show on Thursday, Feb. 11, the first day of New York Fashion Week.

The "Rumble in the Jungle" fight in Kinshasa in 1974 has become the stuff of legend

James Brown, "The Godfather of Soul", performs on stage in Paris in 1971

South African singer Miriam Makeba performing in 1978

20 Photos Of Really Tragic Snowmen

For those of you fellow East-coasters bummed out by the blizzard (although it is a convenient excuse to not do anything ever), check out this Urlesque list of the 20 Saddest Snowmen, a reminder that even though it may be cold and annoying to drive this week, at least we don’t have to watch a bunch of children’s snowmen tragically melting to death and scarring the kids for life:

Or, to look at it another way, when the weather gets nice again, we will get to watch these snowmen tragically melt to death and scar kids for life, which is cool because those kids are probably jerks anyway plus it’s warm out you jerks! It’s win-win! I’ve been inside for a long time!

Cancer-Ridden Dennis Hopper Issues Restraining Order Against 'Living Hell' Wife

The legendary actor's wife is forbidden to communicate with him.

'Percy Jackson': Five Things You Need To Know - MTV.com

New York Times

'Percy Jackson': Five Things You Need To Know MTV.com Here's our primer on the book-turned-movie 'Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief.' By Eric Ditzian Chris Columbus has already steered a best-selling children's-book series into a mega-successful big-screen franchise, helming the first ... Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning ThiefEntertainment Weekly The Lightening Thief - great world, hurried plotRexburg Standard Journal 'Percy Jackson's' ungodly Greek stewNew York Post MiamiHerald.com -Boston Herald -San Jose Mercury News all 670 news articles »

British fashion designer McQueen found dead at 40 (AP)

AP - His runway shows were often like performance pieces: One featured models with headwear made of trash. Another showed off 10-inch heels shaped like lobster claws.

Has John Mayer's 'Hood Pass' Been Revoked?

Will the blues guitarist ever be able to recover from his use of the N-word?

Fans grab mementos as fashion bad boy mourned (AFP)

AFP - Fashion fans rushed to grab British designer Alexander McQueen's clothes and accessories as mementos on Friday, retailers said, as the fashion world reeled from his shock death.

VIDEO: Metropolis: Homecoming of a masterpiece. Duration: 02:11

The Berlinale is cinema's first major international showcase of the year

NY Fashion Week kicks off with somber McQueen news (AP)

AP - The models were rounding the runway for the finale of the first show at New York Fashion Week Thursday when the crowd began to buzz with sobering news: Bad-boy designer Alexander McQueen had died.

Couples dance during the opening ceremony of the Vienna's 54th annual Opera Ball

Roman Polanski's new film "The Ghost Writer" premieres Friday at the 60th Berlin Film Festival