Rocker Joins Panel of Judges for Ninth Annual FORTUNE Battle of the Corporate Bands CLEVELAND, Sept. 22 /PRNewswire/ -- Legendary drummer Tommy Lee of rock band Motley Crue Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 22 Sep 2009 | 4:18 am
MARIE LITTLE TO RECEIVE HUMANITARIAN STAR ON THE LAS VEGAS STRIP LAS VEGAS, Sept. 22 /PRNewswire/ -- Marie Little, wife of impersonator Rich Little, will receive a... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 22 Sep 2009 | 4:15 am
AP - A Los Angeles pharmacist told Anna Nicole Smith's internist that the drugs the internist prescribed to the model after her son died were "pharmaceutical suicide," according to unsealed documents written by state officials. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 22 Sep 2009 | 4:13 am
Reuters - Fuchsia, orange, green and other strong colors brightened the collections at London Fashion Week by designers striving to make fashion fun again for women whose mood has been soured by the recession.
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif., Sept. 22 /PRNewswire/ -- Beech Sandal Company declares its commitment to raising awareness and funding for education, research and treatment for women's Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 22 Sep 2009 | 3:06 am
AP - Angie Harmon is hosting a celebrity shoe auction in New York City and sending her baby daughter through an obstacle course to raise money for charity.
Reuters - Walden Media has rubbed the lamp and picked up "Gene," a modern take on the classic genie story from writer Randi Mayem Singer. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 22 Sep 2009 | 12:46 am
TORONTO - A Toronto hardcore band with an unprintable name has won the fourth annual Polaris Music Prize. F**ked Up took the $20,000 award, which is given to the best Canadian album of Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 21 Sep 2009 | 10:42 pm
Anna Nicole Smith infamously had 11 medications in her hotel room when she died, all prescribed by one doctor.
But we know who didn't help her get them.
Court records...
LOS ANGELES - A Los Angeles pharmacist told reality TV star Anna Nicole Smith's internist that the drugs the internist prescribed to the model after her son died were "pharmaceutical... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 21 Sep 2009 | 10:07 pm
Dancing With the Stars is back, liiiive...meaning there's a whole new pack of celebrities—many of whom will end up being way more famous than before thanks to this gig—to get to...
Believe it or not, Kate Gosselin may not be as outspoken as you might think.
I hear the famous mother of eight was surprisingly reserved when she shot the pilot this weekend...
Khloé Kardashian and NBA beau aren't just talking about tying the knot—they're...
According to his attorney, the Hoff's trip to the hospital yesterday was a minor incident and...
Chelsea Handler wants to know why you didn't include E! in your fabulous Emmy song about networks? Considering E! actually covers the Emmys, for...
Front Page: Junction signs two-year deal to develop series -- Jon Turteltaub's Junction Entertainment has signed a two-year overall deal extension at CBS Television Studios to develop series for the Eye.
Reuters - "Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl" is "Twilight" for kinky adults with an appetite for gushing gore, Japanese schoolgirls and proudly politically incorrect humor. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 21 Sep 2009 | 7:44 pm
(Reuters) Reuters - Every week, you can watch hot murder cases or cold ones. You can see murders solved by ghosts, extrasensory perception, forensics, advanced mathematics, undercover disguises or mental deduction. You can learn about real cases and fictional ones. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 21 Sep 2009 | 6:56 pm
Reuters - "NCIS," which this week starts its seventh season on CBS, seems a little old to be bearing offspring. On the other hand, the show has shown surprising ratings resilience in the past couple of years. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 21 Sep 2009 | 6:41 pm
Kim Zolciak's a bit of a "Party" pooper, according to some.
"Tardy for the Party," the first single from the Real Housewives of Atlanta star's upcoming album, has...
World Vision, I met with Tim [Costello] two years ago. I started as ambassador for World Vision. I actually started doing the 40 Hour Famine. Is that something that's done here as well? [Costello interjects: "30 Hour Famine here."] Oh, 30 Hour Famine. 'Cause we're tough. [Laughs] We're tough, we do 40 hours. But, uh, I've actually been a sponsor for, I don't know, 30 years, in some way. But being involved officially with Tim has been amazing, and we've been on two trips, Cambodia and this July we went to Ethiopia. And that was really what solidified for me the importance of campaigning not just on issues of poverty but also on climate change, because they are inextricably linked.
There's a program for Climate Week here in New York. Will you be doing more appearances?
Well, I'm here today. I would love to make more; it's not great timing for me, because our show [Broadway's A Steady Rain] opens in a week, so we rehearse all day and do a show [at night]. So today's my day off. Today was my day to do things.
You managed to make some appearances for Fashion's Night Out.
I did a little Fashion's Night Out thing, I made an appearance. I'm putting more effort into this than Fashion's Night Out. Let's put that on the record. [Laughs]
So what can we do to fight global warming?
I think start at home. It's an issue of consumption, of course. Simple things. Also, drinking Fair Trade coffee. For me, I suppose, using my voice. I make a living pretending to be someone else, so I'm not going to lie to you that I'm an expert on this, or on the politics of it, or how to get these things done. But I did make a promise to Dukali, this farmer [in Ethiopia], that when Climate Week happened or when the leaders were here that I would do my best to edge my way into a room to tell his story. And to try and make sure that his voice and other impoverished people from developing nations are heard, because they need to be heard.
A lot of celebrities do that. Are you considering becoming a U.N. ambassador like Nicole Kidman or Jay-Z?
I think just president is where I'm heading. No, uh, yeah, I mean of course. I think it's a responsibility and a fantastic opportunity to use your voice and whatever profile you have to further really great work. That, really, people like Tim and World Vision, who work full-time, are really doing the work, but anything I can do to highlight their work and to make a contribution I try and do, yeah.
Could you live without air-conditioning in New York?
Yeah. I open my windows all the time. I don't like air-conditioning very much. I'm an Aussie, you know, back door, front door open, that's air-conditioning, you know?
So you are opening your Broadway show soon. How can you work with Daniel Craig and not crack up when you look at his mustache?
[Laughs] Because we had four weeks of rehearsal. I gave him enough crap about it for four weeks. Now I'm used to it.
Did you watch Neil Patrick Harris host the Emmys last night?
I just saw his opening. I haven't seen it all. I got home last night and I saw his opening, which was just genius. The guy is so good.
Are you going to host the Oscars this year?
I don't know. I haven't been asked.
Front Page: Positively reviewed show rises in ratings -- On the morning after the Primetime Emmy Awards, producer Don Mischer, host Neil Patrick Harris and CBS were basking in the glow of a rebound.
The idea of Brad Pitt showing up in a Sherlock Holmes film hasn't been snuffed out yet.
Judging by the trailer, it looks as if audiences are either going to love or hate Guy...
Reuters - Sony has purchased the film rights to playwright Lucy Prebble's "Enron," currently being staged in a sold-out run at London's Royal Court Theater. A Broadway move is being planned for April. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 21 Sep 2009 | 5:29 pm
We always knew our favorite weight-loss show, The Biggest Loser, meant business, but things just went to a whole other level. Is anyone superattached to Julio? If yes, say a prayer that...
Front Page: Event designed for easier public access -- This year's New York Film Festival sports a revamped venue, an array of arty films seen at other fests and several changes designed to make the event easier for the public to access.
Gigi LaFemme, above, with water wings, took home the honors at this past weekend's annual Miss Coney Island Burlesque Pageant at Sideshow by the Seashore. But from looking at the picture of the swimsuit competition, above, we feel confident saying: Ladies (?), you're all winners. See more photos of the event here.
Vogue’s Anna Wintour, Tonne Goodman, and Mark Holgate are all in London for the shows. After that, Goodman, Holgate, Grace Coddington, André Leon Talley, Virginia Smith, Filipa Fino, Hamish Bowles, and Sally Singer will be split between Milan and Paris. Wintour herself will go to Milan and then only part of Paris. (What will fashion houses do with all that extra front-row space? Usher in Sea of Shoes in a last-ditch attempt at publicity?) Meanwhile, fellow Condé Nast title Glamour will only send four editors to Europe, instead of the five who went last season (they will also split duties between Milan and Paris). In Style is cutting down to four overseas troops from six last season. Elle, W, Harper’s Bazaar, and Marie Claire will have the same number dispatched to Europe as usual. "I have ordered everyone to cut down on expenses by eating as many of the free fried basil leaf bar snacks at the Four Seasons in Milan so they won’t need supper," Marie Claire editor Joanna Coles joked to WWD. And to think we never watched an episode of Running in Heels. Hmmm. Anyway, while they're all over there running from show to show, we'll be in our cubicles in this fine country of ours, enjoying American things like our chairs, chocolate-chip cookies, and being lazy.
Your Intel editors missed the Emmys last night, and woe be to us, because apparently we missed an important moment in television history. According to Esquire, last night Blake Lively became a woman. In front of everyone.
"Just as Jessica Biel shook off the FCC-mandated chastity belt with that Gear shoot a couple seasons into her post-adolescent starletdom, Lively shimmied her way toward womanhood down the red carpet in this backless (and, more jarringly, nearly frontless) gown last night," Esquire's editor Matt Sullivan wrote below a photo of Ms. Serena in the above dress on the magazine's website today.
He went on:
It was the type of perfectly cut, crazy-expensive dress that makes a man realize why women ogle their own kind for glamorous fashion tips during these interminably terrible award shows. But it was that moment I caught, with Lively so thoroughly demanding the on-stage ogle — so much more so than Leighton Meester, an eyebrow-raiser in her own right — that made me reconsider this woman, no longer a Gossip Girl so much as a twenty-two-year-old temptress.
Wow. That sounds like an intense moment. But wait: Is it just us, or is what happened not so much that Blake Lively "shimmied toward womanhood" as Sullivan "shimmied closer to his inner desire to become a drag queen"?
Even though Glee's ratings fell 11 percent from week one to week two (against weak competition on other networks, mind you), the Fox network seems to have series creator Ryan Murphy's back: The show just received a green light from the network to produce another nine episodes this season, bringing the season-one total up to 22 episode (the show had originally been given only a thirteen-episode commitment). This ought to give the cast plenty of time to practice an a cappella version of "Empire State of Mind." [Ausiello Files/EW]
Hassan Nemazee, the banker and Democratic mega-fundraiser who was indicted last month for allegedly using forged documents to obtain a $74 million loan from Citibank—and who is currently under house arrest at his Park Avenue apartment—is facing new charges. He's been indicted for bank fraud and "aggravated identity theft" as part of what prosecutors describe as a $292 million Ponzi scheme that involves Bank of America and HSBC, too. Also, in case you've been mispronouncing his name all this time, the AP points out it's hah-SAHN' nah-MAH'-zee. Please make a note of it. [AP, Reuters]
Good news! No longer must you remember an unwieldy, backslash-filled, 29-character URL to get your daily dose of arts-and-culture news. Vulture.com now redirects to Vulture.
What’s that old rule about trends? Where two things make one*? (*Not an actual rule.) Well, have we got good trend news for you: Animal Pyjamas are IN.
It all started this morning, when our good friend Phaedra sent over what easily amounts to the greatest Flickr group of all time: Dogs in Pyjamas. Just how great is this group? This great:
If only there was a Nobel Prize for Pet Owning Geniuses, we’re sure the folks responsible would be booking their ticket to Geneva right now.
AP - Neil Patrick Harris did for the Emmy Awards what he did for the Tonys earlier this year: increase the award show's audience over the previous year.
You know that thing that happens when you don't know whether you're supposed to give someone one kiss on the cheek or two? (Rules of thumb: One on one cheek is for Americans, one on both cheeks is for pretty much everyone else, and one on the mouth is only for exes and gay people.) If you get it wrong, you can end up almost mouth-kissing your Aunt Cindy by accident. There's also the Handshake Hug, where two people, usually men, don't know whether to just press palms or go into a full embrace. Awkwardness almost inevitably ensues, even for the most comfortable companions — so imagine how wretched it was when Barack Obama, who had just been on the front page of the New York Times for reportedly urging David Paterson not to run again, met and embraced the New York governor. Actually, you don't have to imagine. The Times gleefully reported a blow-by-blow:
The awkwardness of the moment was perhaps reflected in Obama’s body movements on the tarmac. When he went in for the quick hug of Mr. Paterson, he turned his back to the television news cameras, almost as if to avoid the taking of images that would show the two men in a warm embrace.
The news crews said that Mr. Obama did not appear to be smiling when he turned around. Mr. Obama moved on to greet others, but stepped next to Mr. Paterson to say a few things to the group of five or six people assembled around him. There were a couple of more pats on the back — Mr. Paterson on Mr. Obama and Mr. Obama on Mr. Paterson — and then it was over. Mr. Obama got into one car. Mr. Paterson got into another car. Plenty of New York media were on hand to visually catch the exchange.
"He turned his back to the television news cameras, almost as if to avoid the taking of images that would show the two men in a warm embrace"? That's a wee bit of conjecture, there, guys. Did it occur to you that maybe Governor Paterson had just enjoyed a garlicky lunch? Hmmm? Or that President Obama maybe had let one slip and needed to evacuate the area in short order? Because in our experience, people have a lot of motives for giving brief hugs, and they are not always the most immediately obvious. At least by sight.
• Despite all the talk of the impending demise of the TV industry, ratings for last night's Emmy Awards weren't too shabby. The three-hour show was seen by 13.3 million people, which is up 8 percent from last year. [THR] • Bloomberg LP has officially submitted its bid to buy BusinessWeek. [BW] • Michael Musto of the Village Voice is hearing rumors that Conde Nast is planning to shutter five of its titles as it looks to slash costs. [VV] • A group of activists affiliated with The Yes Men handed out copies of a New York Post parody this morning as part of an effort to draw attention to climate change; a number of them were later detained by the NYPD. [DF] • Despite low ratings and lousy reviews early on, Katie Couric is expected to anchor the CBS Evening News until her contract expires in 2011. [NYT] • Barack Obama made appearances on just about every Sunday morning talk show yesterday. With the exception of those on Fox News, that is. [LAT, [HP] • Obama's media tour will continue tonight when he sits down alongside David Letterman on his late-night show, a first for a sitting U.S. president. [NYT]
• The 3-D animated comedy Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was No. 1 at the box office this weekend, earning $30 million in its first three days. [Reuters] • Dick Cook was ousted as chairman of Disney's movie division last week. Why? And who's taking over? That's all a little unclear at the moment. [WSJ, TDB] • In related news, Disney's proposed acquisition of Marvel is going to be keeping its lawyers very busy now that several lawsuits have been filed. [NYT] • Is Kate Gosselin getting her own talk show? Let's hope not. [MSNBC] • While the plunge in newspaper advertising appears to be slowing, the industry has yet "to hit bottom," say some publishing experts. [NYT] • A group of French lawmakers are pushing for warning labels to be placed in magazines where pictures that have been Photoshopped are used. [AdAge] • Marijuana is now enjoying a "media moment," apparently. [WSJ]
AP - The true-life drama "The Boys Are Back" delicately and deftly finds a balance that's hard to strike: It depicts death, and the way a family rebuilds and redefines itself afterward, without any mawkishness. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 21 Sep 2009 | 4:03 pm
Racked spotted Zac Posen on the Upper West Side today walking his dogs while wearing a Tom Ford suit and carrying a bag of poop. Other than that, his most notable accessory? Man heels. Marc Jacobs and Nicolas Sarkozy aren't the only ones. [Racked]
The new Hollister store on Houston and Broadway seems to be pumping its fragrance outside its doors, and neighbors are pissed that it's stinking up the 'hood, the Postreports today. (One dissenter even allegedly set off a stink bomb outside the So-Cal wannabe-surfer palace in protest.) It's only fitting that Hollister has caused such a ruckus; it's part of the Abercrombie & Fitch franchise, whose stores are notorious for overpowering the olfactory nerves of anyone who walks within 200 yards of their front door. But this isn't the first time an NYC retailer has stunk up a street. In July, Diane von Furstenberg's store on West 14th Street reportedly offended passersby because its D Eau de Parfum scent wafted well beyond its doors.
The science of smell isn't exactly anything new. According to Harald Vogt of the Scent Marketing Institute, scores of new retailers jumped on the scent marketing bandwagon last year, a development he says is largely due to the struggling economy. Hey, we get it. Adopting an aggressive scent strategy to lure in recession-minded shoppers and boost sales makes perfect sense. Especially since it seems to work. According to C. Russell Brumfield, the author of Whiff! The Revolution of Scent Communication in the Information Age, "The science shows that specific scents can increase sales from 20 to over 90 percent in some studies."
In the past, some retailers, including Jimmy Choo, Lane Bryant, Hallmark, and Guess?, have created customized scents within their stores in the hopes they'll be imprinted in consumers' brains, make them feel positively thrilled with the experience, and keep them coming back to spend money. Certain crafty food establishments such as Cinnabon and Kentucky Fried Chicken are known to pump out smells to lure in customers. (So if you've got a particularly sensitive sniffer—and you're not looking to ruin your diet—it's probably best to steer clear of those sorts of establishments.)
Who knows what other stores are playing Jedi mind tricks with consumers with customized in- and out-of-store smells, but one place that could definitely use a scent overhaul? The BO-ridden NYC subway. Let's hope an enterprising perfume manufacturer reaches out to the cash-strapped (and clearly desperate) MTA and makes a deal pronto.
Playbill - Michigan playwright Kitty Dubin's latest play, The Blank Page, about a frustrated novelist, will be produced by the Jewish Ensemble Theatre in suburban Detroit in October. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 21 Sep 2009 | 3:32 pm
When asked by the Gay City News whether he thought that a gay-marriage bill could pass in Albany this fall, Mayor Bloomberg said he thought the chances were "zero, zero." But when pressed, Bloomberg (who is a long-standing, vocal advocate for marriage equality) also said that he could probably exert some influence on the vote, because he's such a prominent donor to Republican State Senate candidates. “I’m the main funder,” he said. “You know, you can’t dictate every piece of legislation, and I don’t want to say that they’re bribable. But they know where I stand, and they want me to be a supporter.” He added: “If it came to you needed their votes, that’s where I can do something.”
The tricky thing is, when someone is trying to pass a bill in a legislative body, "votes" are the only thing that is "needed." The "they" he's talking about here are Republican State Senators. The $1.2 million he donated to the Independence Party went mostly to four Republican Senate candidates: Cesar Trunzo, Frank Padavan, Dennis Delano, and Serphin Maltese.* Frank Padavan, the only one of the four who won his election, only did so election by 500 votes, nearly losing to a marriage-equality-supporting Democrat. The Village Voice's Wayne Barrett talked to one aide who said that Bloomberg stumps and cash donations may have been decisive.
Earlier this year, New Yorkdid the math on where the gay-marriage bill stands with this current Senate. While there is no exact count of who is for the bill and who is against it, advocates in that piece estimated that they may need as few as two Republicans to join with Democrats already supporting it in order for it to pass. Bloomberg obviously doesn't think the margin is so close, because if he did, he wouldn't go around saying he had the power to shift a few votes. But still, it doesn't come across that great. Yes, someone like Frank Padavan, who has been trying for years to pass a state Defense of Marriage Act, probably isn't going to change his vote no matter how much he needs the mayor. But not every Republican is a Frank Padavan, and Bloomberg is in a position to help plenty of the rest. To say in one interview both that you have the power to shift votes, and that you think a bill has "zero" chances of passing? It just makes it seem like you don't want to even try.
HAIR
• Wig designer Charlie Le Mindu created a lip-shaped wig for his new spring collection. We can see Lady Gaga putting in a preorder for this right now. [StyleList]
• Leigh Lezark signed on to become a brand ambassador for Charles Worthington's new haircare line named Front Row. [Racked]
• A blonde Olivia Palermo intends to become a brunette as soon as she returns to New York after London Fashion Week. We're beside ourselves. [Elle UK]
FRAGRANCE
• Paris-based perfumer Creed plans to open its first New York flagship during Thanksgiving weekend at the corner of Madison Avenue and 67th Street. [Scented Salamander]
• LVMH won its case against eBay last week when a French court ordered the online retailer to pay damages for allowing the sale of counterfeit fragrances on its site. [WWD]
SKIN
• Makeup artist Pat McGrath noted that all the models at the Calvin Klein spring 2010 show had to be "massaged head-to-toe in moisture for a healthy glow — a very sporty, supermodel glow." [Daily Beauty Reporter/Allure]
Sunday afternoon, while puttering around New York’s downtown area in a post-brunch haze, a friend and I happened upon a box full of records, with the following image staring up at us from the curb:
Who was this fancy, well-groomed and becowhided gentleman with a dreamy mustache that so nicely compliments his look of abandoned hopelessness? Not one to usually dig through trash, I snapped a pair of trusty “emergency gloves” unto my hands and picked up this finely worn record cover.
That’s when I met “Colonel Abrams”. As Wikipedia has since taught me, “Colonel Abrams is his actual name, not a stage name.” Which is why we’d like to do this to Colonel Abrams parents.
And if you think the FRONT of his album has a lot to offer, clearly you haven’t heard of the names of his songs:
The back of the record offered an even deeper look into Colonel Abrams’ despair:
It turns out the love of his life is a mannequin who bears striking resemblance to one of our current favorite obsessions:
So by now it should be clear that Colonel Abrams has moved the deepest part of our core. And we hadn’t even heard a single track! The titles alone left us titillated and slightly confused.
While the beginning secretly reads like the track listing to “O.J. Simpson’s Greatest Hits”, one song in particular caught our attention… Clearly…
“Table for Two”.
At drinks that evening, my pal Stephen and I dreamed up what “Table for Two” probably sounded like. And it went something like this (sung to the tune of “Random Smooth Vocal R&B Stylings You Wanna Make Love to By The Fire Cause Your Man Know How To Treat You Like a Lady Gurl”):
“Get your napkin ready, spoon and fork too,
We’re gunna be eating at a table for two…
Excuse me Mr. Waiter we’d like to order some food,
I got a lady sitting with me at this Table for twoooo.
Girl how does your food taste? I wanna it to taste real good
And I just wanna love you… all night lahahaaaaahahooooong.”
This went on for a few hours until the Maître d’ stopped by with 2 police officers in tow and kindly asked us to stop.
The moment I got home, I rushed to my favorite new website (2.0 indeed) to find a version of this “Table For Two” business.
You guys: I’m a f*cking mind reader (Things pick up at 1:00):
Off to bathe in a case of red wine while listening to this on loop.
Very seriously, do any of have a record player and live within 1000 miles of New York? I’m willing to drive a few hundred days to check out the mysteries that await on Colonel Abrams’ self-titled debut.
No one has been more shameless about self-branding and self-marketing than Donald Trump. Over the past few years, he's stamped his name on everything from a line of steaks and bottled water to a collection of golf wear, accessories and watches. But not every Trump-related project gets off the ground, as was the case with "Trump Power," an energy drink he first contemplated launching in 2004 but gave up on in 2006. Or "Trump Verdict," a courtroom-style TV show he once thought about hosting. Or the line of kiddie clothing called "T Baby" that his daughter-in-law, Vanessa Trump, was thinking about starting until the "T Baby" trademark was abandoned last year. Below: A handful of other misguided Trump "concepts" that—thankfully—you've probably never heard about until now.
Representative Edolphus Towns had been clear. He'd wanted Bank of America's documents pertaining to the Merrill Lynch takeover — the relevant documents, not the bank's personal correspondence about who stole whose sandwich from the company fridge — by noon today. Bank of America missed the deadline, and now they're setting up a personal face-off for tomorrow. Cue the rattlesnakes. [WSJ]
"A lot of people were leaving the show halfway because it was apparently really bad, but [Telegraph fashion critic] Hilary Alexander told me that it was very pretty — bronze and gold fringing," writes a poster on the Fashion Spot of Richard Nicoll's London Fashion Week show. Click here to see his full spring 2010 collection. Would you have walked out? [Fashion Spot]
A Bored to Death game where you drink at each reference to an actual New York person, place, or thing would make for a drunken occasion indeed. Conceived of and written by New York author Jonathan Ames (a.k.a. the Coy Exibitionist), the show follows the exploits of the fictional New York author Jonathan Ames (Jason Schwartzmann!). Fictional Ames is an enigma wrapped in a mystery show.
We open with the New Yorkiest of moving companies, Moishe’s, loading up half the contents of Jonathan’s Brooklyn brownstone apartment — his girlfriend’s leaving him because he won’t give up pot and white wine. The buff Israeli movers ask if he’s “one of those self-hating New York Jews”; Ames assents. All that’s left inside is his white Mac laptop, a few wire hangers, and piles of books — including Raymond Chandler’s Farewell My Lovely. From there it’s hardly a hop, skip, and a jump to the posting of a Craiglist “services offered” ad as an unlicensed private investigator.
Cue the lovable sidekick. At a boho Brooklyn coffehouse, Jonathan meets up with Ray (Zach Galifianakis), a comic-book artist with troubles of his own: His girlfriend fell in love with him because he’s an artist, but since that’s not paying the bills, she wants him to get a day job as a public-school art teacher. But how can he take a job like that when he wakes up at 11 a.m.? (If only he would stumble across a graphic novel about a glamorous, early-rising instructor.)
Back to the action! Jonathan’s playing backgammon online when his first client calls: a Valley Girl by way of Philadelphia, whose NYU-student sister has gone missing. Jonathan dons his tweed jacket, slips the Chandler novel in his pocket, and hops onto a Manhattan-bound F train. At what appears to be Veselka (Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist got there first, by the way), the teen tells Jonathan about her sister’s boyfriend, a real hipster villain — he bartends at the Parkside Lounge and sports a neck tattoo.
Real life intervenes! As part of his duties as a sometime journalist, Jonathan must visit a cookie-cutter Chelsea gallery opening populated by a few D-list celebrities. His wacky editor, George Christopher — Ted Danson! — establishes his M.O. by demanding that Jonathan smoke him out in the bathroom. He returns the favor by delivering the show’s guiding concept of a certain brand of New York ennui: “I’m bored to death by a thousand dull conversations. I don’t know what’s going on, but everyone has bad wine breath — it’s like Chernobyl out there.”
Back to the action! Unfortunately. Jonathan finds the hipster villain at a by-the-hour motel, smoking meth and begging his ex — the missing woman — to take him back (she’s tied to the bed and has a washcloth stuffed in her mouth). The hooker next door calls the cops, who break up the fiasco and send everyone home.
The next day, Jonathan meets Ray outside their coffeehouse, where the sidewalk’s littered with strollers. “Some early postnatal-yoga class exploded,” Ray explains. “It’s like a nursery in there.” If you were wondering when they’d get to the Brooklyn breeders gag, that’s one mystery solved.
You have to love these presidential tell-alls. In addition to the revelations we've already written about, former speechwriter Matt Latimer's book also discloses that Donald Rumsfeld wanted to edit his own "Wika-wakka" (a.k.a. Wikipedia) page, that Karl Rove spread a rumor that one of Obama's potential vice-presidents had beaten his wife, and that despite backing a constitutional ban on gay marriage, George W. Bush once quarreled over a speech because he didn't "want to tell some gay kid in the audience that he can't get married." Wait, did we describe these as "funny"? We meant odd and disturbing. [HuffPo]
Once a week, Daily Intel peeks behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Polyamorous Publishing Person in a Long-term Relationship: 27, female, Prospect Heights, bisexual, in a relationship.
DAY ONE 8:37 a.m.: Receive a Gchat message from Chad, informing me that he can't wait to be inside of me. Was just settling in to work, and now will be shot for hours, fantasizing. 9:01 a.m.: Solidify plans to stay at Chad's tonight. I live with my boyfriend of six years, but I've been spending one night a week with Chad for two months. They know about each other. This requires some negotiation, but it usually works out, since the Boyfriend and I opened up our relationship completely. Wonder if the Boyfriend will go stay with the Asian Girl he's seen a few times, or try to find someone new.
9:58 a.m.: So horny at work. Go hide in the bathroom and jerk off thinking alternately about Chad and the Boyfriend. Love that I have two men's cocks at my command. 7:47 p.m.: Have a passionate make-out with the Boyfriend on a bench outside a restaurant. We've gone through various levels of "open" relationship. In the beginning it was just me being able to sleep with other women; now the current level is totally open. He sees other girls and occasionally goes home with them. 8:10 p.m.: Go to an outdoor concert with the Boyfriend, meet up there with friends. 9:30 p.m.: Supposed to go sleep at Chad's when he gets off of work at 10:30, but I get a terrible allergy headache and I have to call it off. Sad because I won't see him all weekend. Boyfriend takes me home and puts me to bed.
DAY TWO 5:09 a.m.: Stray text message from late last night comes belatedly through and wakes me. Thinking about relationships. I'm not interested in getting married, and I don't want children. I believe that emotional commitment can be very rewarding, but I don't believe in physical fidelity. 2:06 p.m.: Leave work early to go to Chad's house. We fuck like our ship is going down. 3 p.m.: Boyfriend has a coffee date with a woman who gave a presentation at his job. I like to think of him on a date while I'm with Chad — this is the freedom we have been working so hard to have. 8:30 p.m.: Out at dinner with the Boyfriend and our respective best friends, I stupidly and drunkenly make a bragging comment about having left work early to fuck Chad. I don t know why I do this. It hurts the Boyfriend and I apologize profusely.
DAY THREE 7:41 a.m.: Continue last night's discussion. I promise the Boyfriend not to brag about my conquests anymore. We talk about the possibility of a threesome with the Girl I Want, someone I met through high-school friends last weekend. The aim is for both of us to experience life to the fullest and enjoy freedom while also enjoying security. It gets pretty lonely sometimes in a world of naysayers getting married and disapproving. 8:17 a.m.: Get to work and have a text and a wall posting from the Girl I Want. Fantasize about making out with her. 10:26 a.m.: E-mail from the Boyfriend saying he forgives me for last night's indiscretion. He also informs me that he's spending Sunday night and Monday with the Asian Girl. I Gchat Chad to make plans with him for then. 12:37 p.m.: Lunch-hour text from the Boyfriend saying he wishes he could be inside me and my mouth at the same time. Wish I could go home right now. 1:12 p.m.: Get a Facebook message from a guy I made out with once at a party, who is trying to convince me to go stay with him in Berlin this summer. It's not going to happen. I keep telling him I'll think about it, which I do, occasionally while touching myself. 2:39 p.m.: Text from Chad, who is going camping, about wanting to do me in a tent. I don't know how I get any work done. 4:50 p.m.: Come home and push the Boyfriend down on the bed. My best friend, who is visiting this weekend, will be getting back to the apartment soon so we're in a rush. We do it my favorite way, on the edge of the bed. 8:30 p.m.: Out to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday. Copious amounts of bourbon. I don't flirt with anyone since I am focused on catching up with my best friend.
DAY FOUR 6:30 a.m.: I wake up and realize I passed out on the couch and don't know if the Boyfriend came home. Go into the bedroom and he's there, passed out as well. I get into bed and curl up with him. 8:30 a.m.: Still drunk and on four hours of sleep, wake up decidedly non-horny. Boyfriend insists he won't get out of bed until he does somebody. I oblige. 11 a.m.: We have a morning pre-party at our apartment before an all-day music show. The Boyfriend looks amazing today. I am impressed at how he's gotten hotter over the years. 12:50 p.m.: The Girl I Want shows up at the party. Friend confirms that she has a crush on me. 1:30 p.m.: Drunken blur, during which a sizable group of friends runs around Coney Island and drinks gallons of tequila. Boyfriend and I spend the day flirting with the Girl I Want in a low-key way. Still feeling out the situation; it's not clear whether she just wants me or would be up for both of us. 10:30 p.m.: A few people go out to dinner. We discuss continuing the revelry at a bar, but Boyfriend and I decide we are all done and go home and pass out. Make plans with the Girl to hang out tomorrow in the park.
DAY FIVE 8:45 a.m.: Wake up to the sound of the Boyfriend getting ready for work. Sleepy but surprisingly not hung-over. Touch myself while waiting for him to get out of the shower. 9 a.m.: Pressed for time again, we have hot sex. The open relationship has only made our sex better. He finishes hard, taking me from behind, which I love. 6:04 p.m.: The Girl I Want comes to meet me in the park. We have dinner and ice cream. She says we should go to the south of Spain together. Great conversation, but just not sure where I want this to go. 10:14 p.m.: Go out to see Chad. The Boyfriend was supposed to stay with the Asian tonight but she canceled, and he graciously said no when I asked if he wanted me to change my plans. 11 p.m.: Both Chad and I are wrecked from our respective weekends. We have some sleepy sex. We both pass out.
DAY SIX 6:45 a.m.: Wake up to my alarm, extremely disappointed that I have to go to work. Am consoled with three rounds of sex. We sex and sleep for an hour and a half until I absolutely have to leave. It's easier to deal with work having already had several intense orgasms. 11:14 a.m.: Negotiating with the Boyfriend about plans for the day while he is with the Asian Girl. I try to find out if he will be home tonight and get a vague response and assurance that I should just do whatever I want to do. 1:24 p.m.: Hating today. Can't focus. 2:31 p.m.: Text the Boyfriend to find out the evening plans. He is having dinner with the Asian Girl. I let him know I am jealous. It bothers me that she doesn't even know about him having a girlfriend. He feels that girls will be scared off if he mentions the open relationship too soon and that it's not the same for me, with guys. I disagree. A lot. 4 p.m.: Decide to go see Chad again. Nothing like a day when you get to have sex immediately before and immediately after work. I am addicted to him. 7:30 p.m.: Dinner with Chad, talking for two hours about jealousy, past loves, the nature of our relationship. We have always acknowledged the strangeness and precariousness of our situation and wonder at how long it can last. 10:20 p.m.: I have to go back home. I need some rest in my own bed and to reconnect with the Boyfriend. 11:45 p.m.: Boyfriend comes home from his day with the Asian Girl, having just slept with her. I get annoyed when he gets in bed with her smell on his shirt. I am pleased to hear that he finally told her about his open relationship. She is okay with it, because she is apparently embroiled in an unusual situation of her own.
DAY SEVEN 8:34 a.m.: First text of the day, from Chad: "I'm so hard for you." 8:54 a.m.: Text from the Boyfriend saying he misses me. I am so looking forward to a quiet night at home with him. Feel like I haven't seen him in a week after all the craziness. We text back and forth about building a fort with blankets to hide from the rain. And then jumping each other in it. 9:25 a.m.: The rainy day is not helping; I just want to leave work and go to Chad's bed, spend the day there, and go home at night to my Boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me that I can be like this, and other times I am so pleased that I have the guts to live the life I want to. 9 p.m.: The Boyfriend is starting to get a cold, and I am exhausted from a hard workout. We watch some TV together and then go to sleep early.
TOTALS: Two acts of masturbation, one at work; seven acts of intercourse, three with the Boyfriend and four with Chad; two jealousy-based arguments; one long relationship discussion with Chad; countless fantasies over my two men, plus a girl.
A full Photo Recap of Mad Men Season 3 Episode 6, “A Guy Walks Into An Advertising Agency (And Does Not Walk Out)” is after the jump…
But first, here’s a handy guide for the Mad Men producers about how to maximize your show’s awesomeness:
After the jump, a full Recap in photos:
And as a bonus, the three best quotes of the episode:
“Babies get fairies to do things, you know that.”
[Was Betty just trying to pander to Sally, or does she actually believe this? I'm guessing it's a little of both]
“I wish you caviar, children, and everything else good…”
[What are two things that are good? Uhmmm, ummmm, caviar! That's one. And um, let's say...having children. Those are two great equivalent things that I wish you. England!]
Sterling: “What’s that?”
Cooper: “Chocolate Pudding.”
…
Sterling: “…But my names’ on the wall out there!”
Cooper: “Do you want some?”
Mad Men rebounded this week in a big way — Leave your episode thoughts, comments, predictions, favorite quotes, favorite parts, reactions to the dude getting his foot run over by a damn riding mower in the comments!
EVENTS
• Head to ABC Carpet & Home for a special evening-shopping event. In addition to featuring discounts on apothecary products, apparel, jewelry, and home décor, the store is also treating customers to raffles, free gifts, drinks, and snacks. RSVP to rsvp@abchome.com. 881 Broadway, at 19th St. (212-473-3000); 6–8.
SALES STARTING TOMORROW
• Domenico Vacca is hosting a sample sale. Select cashmere pieces are $99 (originally $490), silk cocktail dresses and gowns are $99 to $299, and men's button-down shirts are $140 (originally $540). Through 9/24. 14 E. 60th St., nr. Madison Ave., Ste. 900 (212-920-1211); T–Th (10–6).
ENDING TOMORROW
• Showroom Seven is hosting a fall sample sale featuring designer sportswear and accessories from Erickson Beamon, Issa London, Charlotte Ronson, and more. 263 Eleventh Ave., nr. 27th St.; S–W (10–7), Th (10–9), F (10–7).
• Slightly worn pieces from brands like Droog and Alessi are 20 to 90 percent off at the Future Perfect. 115 N. 6th St., nr. Berry St., Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-599-6278); daily, noon–7.
"I want to go on the record and say I have never urinated in public. But the night is still young." —Amy Poehler [E! Online]
"I like to visit Hollywood, but I wouldn't like to settle there. I like movement, I like surprise. I don't think about my work in terms of a 'career.' I have the ambition to try to do very good movies and try to work with great directors, and I try to do my best. My intention is much more for doing something worthwhile than about the glory. I feel myself as being more of an artisan than as an actress." —Audrey Tautou [NYDN]
"I think it's possible that I might have some kind of adrenaline disorder, because I'm obsessed with roller coasters and I go to Six Flags all the time. I travel around the country and ride coasters, and I catalog them on my computer. It's this weird secondary hobby I have. I feel it's interesting that I'm into shock cinema and also these machines that turn you upside down. It's like I constantly want to feel like I'm in danger." —Diablo Cody [Suicide Girls]
"I like my big nose. How about that? Take that, nose jobs! My pinkie toes are foul, foul. They look like cashews." —Julia Louis-Dreyfus [E! Online]
"Sometimes late at night i realize this planet doesnt belong to me. i also dont belong to it. i wish i had recycled it more and me less. Can't fall asleep. No 'bodyguards/nannies' in sight. Mission possible. We need to start an insomnia club. Nobody that does uppers need apply." —Pete Wentz twitters about his next project [Contact Music]
"You can't embarrass Joss Whedon, he's got no pride. He fully admits it. 'Oh, it's me. I'm little and goofy.' You can't wound his pride. He's too self-deprecating." —Nathan Fillion [Pop Candy/USAT]
Hunting down celebrities and taking their pictures—work carried out by thousands of paparazzi photographers every day—hasn't changed much over the past few years. The cameras are better and the lenses are longer. But the job still necessitates someone patiently waiting for hours outside the Bowery Hotel so that when Lindsay Lohan finally emerges, a thousand photos can be snapped of her in the six seconds it takes the actress to get from the door of the hotel to her waiting car. But technology could change the celebrity-industrial complex forever if Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich has anything to do with it:
Ever since Diana, Princess of Wales, was snapped in an amorous clinch with Dodi Fayed in a yacht off the French Riviera, celebrities have been seeking ways to enjoy their holidays while avoiding the glare of the paparazzi. Even Helen Mirren's advancing years failed to stave off photographers who caught her in a bikini in Italy last year.
Now Roman Abramovich, the Russian oligarch, appears to have come up with a novel solution to protect his privacy. In a move that could eventually be copied by all discerning billionaires, Abramovich has installed an anti-paparazzi shield on his newest vessel, the world’s biggest and most expensive private yacht.
Abramovich's "shield" consists of infrared lasers, which pick up on the electronic light sensors emitted by a camera. It then fires off a beam of light which prevents the camera from capturing an image.
Needless to say, if the system works, paparazzi photographers (and the tabloids they sell photos to) will be forced to up the ante and come up with some sort of special laser-busting camera. (Perhaps one that's attached to an unmanned Predator aircraft that can be controlled from afar and can fly into hostile celebrity territory?) And this could turn into some unexpected good news for the nation's defense industry. With the U.S. no longer planning to a missile "shield" in Eastern Europe per an order by President Obama last week, a paparazzi arms race may be just the sort of project that will ensure that Boeing and Raytheon have plenty of work to do for many years to come.
Possibly! After Disney chairman Dick Cook got shown his walking papers on Friday, Claudia Eller of the Los Angeles Times put in a phone call to Johnny Depp and inquired as to whether he was still interested in making a fourth Pirates movie. "There's a fissure, a crack in my enthusiasm at the moment," Depp told her, explaining that "[w]hen things went a little sideways on the first Pirates movie and others at the studio were less than enthusiastic about my interpretation of the character, Dick was there from the first moment ... He was completely supportive of me." [Company Town/LAT]
The Times caught up with some young New York couples who have been cutting back on their dating expenses owing to the recession — renting Netflix instead of going to the movies and cooking at home and whatnot. Not only does behavior like this help them save money, one couple, Maurice Watkins, 35, and Terry Glanville, 32, told the paper, but they feel it's helping prepare them for the Next Step. Maurice, especially:
“We have talked about our future and talked about marriage,” Mr. Watkins said. “This time actually builds a foundation for the mentality necessary to get married.”
Ha, that's right, Maurice! Best to wean yourself off of fun now! Because that's exactly what marriage is like: a recession. One loooong recession that never ends. Ever. Good luck, you crazy kids!
Diane Pernet has curiously posted a video of Kelly Cutrone talking about internships. Kelly has overseen such famous interns as Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad before a national audience, thanks to MTV’s reality programming. Before that, Kelly says, “Nobody really knew about interning in the outside world.” She adds, “I’m, like, the patron saint of interns. I made interning famous.” She may have done a lot for the position, but let’s not discount the very real blood, sweat, and tears Sean Avery shed in the hallowed halls of Vogue. Kelly said she gets many phone calls, bad letters, and Facebook messages from kids who want to intern for her. “I look for somebody who doesn’t think they know anything about fashion, because they don’t,” Kelly says in the video. “Don’t tell me you know about fashion because you studied Rick Owens — that doesn’t mean fuckall, okay?” Instead, she looks for the “village girl.”
We don't know what's going on here, but it probably involves a bit of alcohol.
Throughout his presidency, Bill Clinton would regularly sit down with author Taylor Branch, in secret, to record his private thoughts on personal and political events, as a way to chronicle the history of his administration. On the hour-long ride home, unbeknownst to Clinton, Branch would then record his recollection of what Clinton had just said, and those tapes have now become the basis of Branch's new book, The Clinton Tapes: Wrestling History With the President. Though Clinton eventually encouraged Branch to write the book, he's still "nervous" about the contents, according to Branch, who has provided the former president with proofs to look over. Meaning that, hopefully, the book will contain some embarrassing tidbits — things that, at the time, Clinton never intended for the public to know. But any embarrassment is bound to be shared by others as well. For example:
He also relayed how Boris Yeltsin's late-night drinking during a visit to Washington in 1995 nearly created an international incident. The Russian president was staying at Blair House, the government guest quarters. Late at night, Clinton told Branch, Secret Service agents found Yeltsin clad only in his underwear, standing alone on Pennsylvania Avenue and trying to hail a cab. He wanted a pizza, he told them, his words slurring.
So relax, Bill. Nothing this book reveals about you can actually be more humiliating than that ... probably.
Images of Jimmy Choo's collection for H&M have gradually been leaking onto the Internet, and a whole slew of new ones just hit. The collection includes men's and women's clothes, shoes, bags, and accessories. New images of ladies' offerings reveal more than one suede minidress, zebra-print stilettos and flats, and at least one jumpsuit. Check them out in the slideshow, and also get a peek at a couple of the men's shoes and jackets. What do you think of the line so far?
It’s been almost two years since we’ve seen a new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, and we don’t think we’re the only ones who suspected the show was coming to an end. Now that it’s back, it seems that little time has passed in the show’s universe. Larry and Loretta Black annoy — but don’t despise — each other; clearly they’re not two years along. (Amusingly, Larry seems to do fine with the rest of the Black family.) But any season that begins with Larry David being yelled at by his girlfriend for making the soup too salty and the room too cold is destined for trouble. Particularly when the girlfriend might have cancer. But, of course, it’s Larry who is miserable — and out of control. And so in a new tradition, we count down the show’s top three most outrageous moments. We are not lacking for material.
3. Wanda Sykes: Psych! Larry runs into Cheryl and Wanda Sykes at a restaurant, where they scored a reservation using his name. Larry learns that Cheryl has broken up with the No Fly Zone underwear salesman and, more important, that she misses Larry. Her main problem with him was that, after Seinfeld ended, he was just around too much. And there you have it: Larry will reunite the cast. Meanwhile, he has to get rid of the Blacks — an eventuality that Wanda Sykes must sense deep down. She sends a fusillade of hilarious, racially charged barbs his way: “How’s it goin’, brother?”; “I put you up for an NAACP Image award!”; “You know Lil Wayne?”
2. Jeff bangs Bam Bam. After having his bluff called on an obviously empty promise, Larry brings Jeff with him to visit with Funkhouser’s crazy sister Bam Bam, played brilliantly by Catherine O’Hara. She’s clearly certifiable, but that doesn’t stop Jeff from having sex with her the minute Larry goes to the fridge to get a sandwich (after, naturally, assailing Loretta’s doctor for taking a lemonade without asking). Later, at his own dinner party, Bam Bam announces that she slept with Jeff. Larry saves the day, saying that she’s crazy and should be sent back to the institution. Everyone agrees. Well played!
1. Larry, running on empty. Even before his chat with Cheryl, Larry was searching for ways to end it with Loretta (and the rest of the Black family). Learning that she might have cancer gives the plan an added urgency, since he needs to dump her before she receives the official diagnosis and endures chemotherapy. (His thought process: It’s better than breaking up with someone who definitely has cancer!) He speeds home in his Prius to beat the doctor to Loretta’s side, but he doesn’t make it in time. The doctor, still smarting over Larry’s attack on him for the taking of the lemonade, gives a litany of responsibilities Larry will now have to take on as Loretta undergoes her treatment over “two to four” years. (In Larry years, that’s eternity.) As empty promises go, that’s a whopper. Now we’ll see how much there is to this promising season.
Bro-blogger Tucker Max's I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell may have been on the New York Times best-seller list for a year, but at least one person in Little Italy has had enough of his shtick. On the poster for his upcoming movie of the book, which reads, charmingly, "Strippers Will Not Tolerate Disrespect...Blind Girls Never See You Coming," one resident has scrawled, "And Little Italy Will Not Tolerate your Misogyny. Go Fuck Yourself. Va Fan Culo." [Gothamist]
Music-industry professional Lily Allen has started an anti-piracy blog, It's Not Alright, hosted at BlogSpot, with the stated goal of rallying her fellow artists against illegal downloading. Get ready to start buying CDs again, because she already has the vocal support of James Blunt. [It's Not Alright via Prefix]
When people first learn that I blog for a living, the first thing the usually want to know is “What’s it like to live such a glamorous life?” And so I tell them: About the broken nails, the rheumatic claws, the blurred vision, and worst of all, having to deal with other bloggers. In the immortal words of Sue Ellen “Swell” Crandall from Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead, “It’s a rat race, and it sucks, Kenny. So what do you want, a medal?” (Ed. Note: In fact, a medal would smooth things over quite a bit.)
But all of that changed on Thursday night, when the VH1 Divas rolled into town, and I found out I would be covering the event, live, from inside the BAM Opera House, aka The Emeril Lagasse Theater . Finally, a reason to delve into my Robert Gowney Jr. collection of floor-length dresses, which line my closet like Batman with a cross-dressing problem. This event was not taken lightly in the Collins home: I had my hair professionally up-do’d, picked a gown that I felt featured my best assets (ladylikeyness & rack2thamax), and exfoliated my lips with “Dr. Posner’s Celebrity Ass-Kissing Slough“.
And ass kiss I did, as myself and The Fab Life’sKate Spencer squeezed ourselves like fancy animals in between a slew of other hungry reporters on the red carpet. My first serious scoop? None other than Real Housewife of AtlantaKim Zolciak, dressed in her trademarked “tiny dress n’ heels” look that has earned her so many follower. (Not a typo.) Still, all the Housewives are like children to me, in that I love them all equally. Of course, in the heat of the moment, Kim was the only one that mattered. I asked her if she happened to see Sheree’s NY Fashion Week Show, and here was Mahatma Zolciak’s response:
Kim: I did not see Sheree’s fashion show, but she did have one other show that was fantastic! I gotta be honest with you, even though Sheree was really inappropriate, I do really do wish each and every one of them success. I know that their mentality is you have to knock somebody and bring them down to capitalize. I don’t look at it like that. I feel like what you give out you get back double. My song, that’s all I give a sh*t about. It hit top 10 on iTunes. I just found out that Nene said it was her song on the way over here! She’s saying she wrote it. It’s my daughter’s song! She was 9 when she wrote it. Michelle: Think she’s angling for her 20 percent? Kim: She’ll never get anything, my daughter wrote it.
So there it is Nene: You have messed with the wrong White (but really Black) woman. Kim also told me I have “great lips”, which, considering they cost me $0, I will now consider my greatest bargain purchase of all. (From my new favorite store: “Guess Genes”)
It was then that I shoved Kim to the ground, because the First Ladies of Morning Television, Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford, were slowly sauntering their way over.
Ahead, we chat with Kathie and Hoda about sluts, Kathy Griffin about “Effing Your Way to the Top”, and Jennifer Hudson agrees to make a cameo appearance on our upcoming project…
Hoda and Kathie are two women I would honored to hang with. I’ll admit, without very little shame, that I watch these ladies on the daily. The good news? They are EXACTLY THE SAME IN PERSON. Warm, hilarious, talkative, personable. I asked Kathie if Cody, her hot 20 year oldish son, was still single. “No, he’s dating someone. A girl from Wyoming. She’s a lovely, lovely girl, hasn’t really ever had a boyfriend before.” “Sure,” I countered, “Who would you even date there? Coyotes?” I then complimented their lovely attires, telling K-L-G her short white dress was very “slutty bride”. There was a short pause (though definitely long enough for one of them to pull out a handgun and kill me), and then we all burst out into high-pitched laughter. In fact, I’m almost sure Hoda said “she loved me.” Hoda, if you’re reading this: Please let’s host a 7th hour of the Today Show together. Magic will happen.
Suddenly, a journalist down the carpet dangled a bottle of white wine on a fishing line in front of them, and that was that.
Jennifer Hudson stopped by, looking fabulous and svelte following the birth of her new son 5 weeks ago. Her face was all a-shimmer, and I realized this was the perfect opportunity to ask Jennifer — one of my favorite singers ever and easily my fave of the Divas — something I’ve long wondered the answer to:
Michelle: Now I have a question: Dreamgirls is one of my favorite movies ever. Jennifer: Thank you. Michelle: If I were to make a white version of the film and call Creamgirls, would you make a cameo appearance? Jennifer: I sure will! Michelle: I love you! I knew you would.
So let that be on record: Jennifer Hudson has verbally agreed to appear, however briefly, in Creamgirls. Now, to write it and cast another female singer (I’ll play two of the leads, obvs.)
Kelly Clarkson’s publicist wasn’t having any of my heaps and heaps of charm, and told us we would get one question. I knew I had to make it a good one…
Michelle: Kelly! Hi! We’ve only been given enough time for one question, so I really want to make it a good one…
Kelly C.: (the nicest, most adorable person on Planet Earth, both the planet and the DVD box set) Hi! Ok go for it.
Michelle: OK. Will you be my best friend?
Kelly C.: (laughing) Sure! We should go sing karaoke together!
Michelle: Whuuttttttt…. that would be a dream.
Kelly C.: Hmm, I’ll sing something by Heart. “Alone” or something.
Michelle: Listen, you take heart, I call Celine Dion’s entire discography, and we’ll call it even.
Kelly C.: Deal.
It was then that the publicist swooped in, sunk their dirty sh*t-stained talons into her back, and whisked her away from our karaoke ramblings.
Finally, we snagged a moment with a someone I’ve long considered a comedic inspiration, Kathy Griffin. I figured I would use this time to get some sage advice from a woman who has lived through so much:
Kathy Griffin: How can I help you in comedy sound bite form? Michelle: So we are from Best Week Ever & Vh1.com. We are both also female comedians. Kathy Griffin: *Gasp* Michelle: So I want to know: How many men do I have to f*ck to make it in this business, and be honest with me. Kathy Griffin: As many as possible and I’m not even kidding. I’ve f*cked my way to the middle and it’s still a struggle. It’s still an uphill battle, but as many as possible. Michelle: Yeah? Kathy Griffin: Yeah, there is way too much emphasis put on talent and working hard. If you can sleep your way to the middle: go-for-it.
Words to live by. Let’s hope one day I can owe my career to this advice.
It was not getting close to showtime. And thus, I headed inside the beautiful BAM Opera House to take my seat in the orchestra, where I was livetweeting the entire show. If you missed my tweet-cap, you can see it here, but here were the highlights:
Paula Abdul: Say what you will about Paula, but people cannot help but love this pint-sized lady. (As previously stated: “If MC Skat Cat were an actual cat, he would still be taller than Paula.”) Every appearance earned giant applause from the crowd. And even though the opening number had its issues (no thanks to the gaggle of G’s who nearly cracked her head open on the stage), she carried herself quite well throughout the show.
Liza Minnelli: WAS THERE. At first, I wondered what baby powder scented asteroid just leisurely rolled down the aisle, til I realized it was gloriousness of Liza. Mine eyes have viewed a legend.
The Live Singing: Whether or not you’re a fan of each and every Diva, credit where it’s due: They all sang live, and they all sounded INCREDIBLE. All of them. Amazing. There was barely a single missed note.
FAVORITE PERFORMANCE: Without a doubt, the duet between Jennifer Hudson and Stevie Wonder. No matter how many times I think about it, I start to choke up. Jennifer has truly been blessed with not just a God-given vocal ability that comes along once a decade, but also a spirit that is very touching. Stevie Wonder… I mean the man is a legend, what are we even talking about? If you missed it, it is an honor to bring it to you here:
Specifically the people sitting behind me, who were clearly feral rich women who grew up in a strip mall parking lot in Jersey. It was like Nell meets The Sopranos. These women would not let up the entire show. Every celebrity that walked by were asked for autograph, even performance was peppered with loud clapping and screams that grapefruit-spooned my ear drums onto the ground, and at one point, after dropping her blackberry, one of the girls made EVERY SINGLE PERSON SITTING IN FRONT OF HER in the orchestra stand up so she could find her phone (which ended up being under my seat. My B, on the real.) Anyway, lesson to others: When you attend large concerts, you are, strangely, not the only people there.
No, really, that was the only lowlight.
The show was a moving and uplifting experience, made all the more so by the afterparty, sponsored by Patron Tequila. And yes, I was paid to say that, not with money, but with a margarita hat made out of nacho chips and spring break that I donned for the remainder of the evening.
If you missed the show – A. How Dare You? – and B. Here it is in its entirety. I’ll end this mega-recap by stating that even though I never thought I’d be “That kind of girl” (read: Babyslut), I spent the entire weekend singing Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA” to an almost autistic level. It’s a tune that clogs the brain drain like the most pesky of hair logs.
Further evidence that the fear that crippled Wall Street a year ago has almost entirely lifted: JPMorgan, which cut the dinner allowance for bankers who stay late in the office from $20 to $25 last spring, just bumped it back up to $25. [Dealbreaker]
Back in June, T-Pain boldly declared that "Jay-Z done dropped the 'Death of Auto-Tune,' and it's time for me to come back," whetting our appetites for the greatest pitch-correction-software hip-hop showdown ever. He piped up again earlier this month at a show, claiming that Jay "is 59 years old," and T-Pain certainly wasn't backing off his allegiance to the 'Tune when he debuted his own iPhone application a couple of weeks ago. But over the weekend, he released "Dope," the first track off his hilariously titled new album, Revolver, a song that features, at least to our ears, NO AUTO-TUNE. What the hell is going on here? Jay-Z has probably already started gloating. [2DopeBoyz]
On Friday, Michelle Obama wore a graphic print skirt from Diane Von Furstenberg's fall 2009 collection (the one filled with pom-pom hats) to speak about health-care legislation in the White House. This is the first time we remember seeing MObama publicly in DVF. That office must be celebrating with cupcakes. Or pom-poms. See the full look in the Michelle Obama Look Book.
Fashion Wire Daily - At London Fashion Week, there's a pleasurable contrast between the truly offbeat and bizarre dreams that inspire designers and the edgily elegant ideas that emerge on the catwalk. This was rarely more true than at the beautiful gingham-and-go Christopher Kane collection, which was inspired by religious cults and sexual repression, shown Monday, Sept. 21.
Libyan leader Moammar Khadafy won't be staying at the Pierre Hotel when he descends on NYC this week to attend the opening session of the U.N. General Assembly. Hotel guests outraged by the plan seem to have forced Libya to change its plans and he'll now be staying at the Libyan Mission to the U.N. instead. Not that staying at a building owned by his own government isn't still creating drama. It seems a dog peed on the red carpet that had been rolled out to welcome Khadafy, and "aggravated Libyan officials were forced to cut away a section of the carpet that stretched across the E. 48th St. sidewalk from the curbs to the steps." [NYDN, previously]
Anna Wintour has returned to her homeland for London Fashion Week for the first time since 2007. Therefore, it is necessary to keep a detailed record of every activity she engages in. Last night she attended a private dinner for Topshop's Unique line, where she chatted up Kate Moss and Christopher Bailey. Today, she sat front-row at Meadham Kirchhoff, Luella, and Marios Schwab. While Rachel Zoe changes outfits between Fashion Week shows and events, Anna appears to have worn the same thing all day. She also appears to be the first to arrive to the shows, in her usual form, since the wire is stocked with images, like the one here, of her sitting among a bunch of empty seats. And in between her busy schedule, she's finding time to chat up reporters! Such as the Telegraph's Hilary Alexander, who reports Anna is eager to scope out young talent while in London.
Anna told the paper:
"A designer really needs to spend five or 10 years learning the craft, learning the business. Sometimes you can get someone who has become a huge star overnight, but it is so rare that that works. Sometimes a lack of understanding, a certain naïvety about the business can be refreshing, but it so often doesn’t work. People can get carried away with what is new and young and different, but unless you are someone like Marc Jacobs, you should think long and hard. So many are struggling."
She added:
"I love the spirit of London, it is such a place for original talent. I love the way they can make clothes out of nothing, conjure up an atmosphere out of nothing. It’s very special."
Oh, London. So cute when they put on a Fashion Week.
Front Page: Guild mimics AMPAS and expands category -- The Producers Guild of America has decided to follow the lead of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences and expand nominations for its top feature film category to 10.
AP - In a Sept. 20 story about red-carpet fashions at the Emmy Awards, The Associated Press erroneously reported the designer of Drew Barrymore's gown. It was by Monique Lhuillier, not Raven Kauffman. Kauffman designed her evening bag. Source: Yahoo! News: Fashion News | 21 Sep 2009 | 11:33 am
Here’s the poster for the upcoming Disney movie Tooth Fairy, in which Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson plays a minor league hockey player nicknamed “The Tooth Fairy” because “The Dentist” was already taken by Mighty Ducks 2, who is sentenced by a judge to serve one week as a real-life tooth fairy.
Even though a tooth fairy does everything at night while children are asleep, he has to wear giant angel wings. That’s right, Tooth Fairy, I have just zinged you.
A pregnant Karolina Kurkovawalking in Tribeca with fiancé Archie Drury ... Catherine Zeta-Jones taking her kids Dylan and Carys to Pier 59 where she was celebrating her birthday ... Jared Leto riding a bike in SoHo ... Kirsten Dunst walking downtown ... Jennifer Hudson leaving her hotel with husband David Otunga ... Sienna Miller signing autographs outside her new Broadway play, After Miss Julie ... Cynthia Nixonwalking in SoHo ... Oprah sitting in the back of an SUV ... Whitney Port filming scenes for The City on Friday afternoon ... Matthew Broderickriding bikes with son James in the Village ... Jonah Hill hanging out with a friend downtown ... and Rihanna leaving dinner at the Spotted Pig, and then going to the 40/40 club.
Chinese film director Lu Chuan poses beside a promotional movie poster for his film "City of Life and Death" in Beijing in May 2009. Lu Chuan said he wanted to show the "truth" about the Japanese occupation... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 21 Sep 2009 | 10:55 am
Director Chuan Lu arrives at the "City Of Life And Death" screening during the 2009 Toronto International Film Festival held at the Visa Screening Room at the Elgin Theatre on September 11, 2009 in Toronto,... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 21 Sep 2009 | 10:55 am
A man looks at a painting "Jeunes filles au piano" (1892) by French artist Pierre Auguste Renoir during the exhibition "Renoir in the 20th Century" on September 18, 2009 at the Grand Palais museum in Paris... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 21 Sep 2009 | 10:41 am
A woman looks at two paintings "Baigneuse aux cheveux longs" (L) 1895-1896 and "Baigneuse" (R) 1892 by French artist Pierre Auguste Renoir during the exhibition "Renoir in the 20th Century" on September... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 21 Sep 2009 | 10:41 am
And the Emmy for “Outfit Specifically Designed So That We’d Talk About It The Next Day Because Otherwise Who Cares About This Person” goes toooo………..
Young And The Restless co-star Victoria Rowell for her Obama tribute dress that literally just has Barack Obama’s face all over the front and back of it!
Congratulations Victoria Rowell! You have successfully gotten us to IMDB you this morning.
I thought that was the most ridiculous outfit I’d find all night, until I saw Justin Timberlake’s tux…
Katherine Jackson's court challenge of the men who control Michael Jackson's estate will continue, although her lawyer said he hopes a judge's decision will lead to an out-of-court settlement.
This year's Toronto International Film Festival wrapped up Saturday and Hollywood evacuated, leaving the city to turn its attention to ice hockey team, the Maple Leafs' fall calendar.
Jerry Lewis was up to his old shenanigans last night performing at the Laugh For Life concert, and while his tireless charity efforts continue to merit admiration, it’s getting harder and harder to tell when Jerry Lewis is being Jerry Lewis or if he’s actually having a stroke.
Reuters - The red carpet sizzled with heat and color on Sunday as many of television's biggest stars arrived at the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards in bright reds, blues, purple and yellow gowns. Source: Yahoo! News: Fashion News | 21 Sep 2009 | 9:15 am
Front Page: Telecast comes in second to NBC's NFL game -- Sunday's telecast of the Primetime Emmy Awards posted credible numbers on CBS, rising roughly 10% in key demos vs. last year's record-low averages despite facing a monster NFL game on NBC.
30 Rock and Mad Men won the Emmys for Best Comedy and Best Drama for the third and second straight years, respectively. Guess I’ll have to wait for the Oscars to whine about sh*t.
The Amazing Racekept its Emmy streak alive, winning the Outstanding Reality Competition award for the seventh straight year. Sorry, The Benefactor: 2K9.
Jennifer’s Body earned just $6.8 million at the box office this weekend, placing behind four movies including Love Happens. If only Megan Fox had made herself more visible…
The Dallas Cowboys drew an NFL record crowd of 105,121 for the opening of their new $1.15 billion stadium and lost to the Giants 33-31, leaving 105,121 people wondering if they could still technically blame Jessica Simpson.
David Hasselhoff was taken to the hospital last night after excess drinking. Wait, lemmie check the date on this story…September 21st, hmm, guess it’s new. Wait, a second…2009, ok, yeah, it’s new. Actually lemmie check one more time…
Front Page: Film unit nabs duo out of Toronto -- In a low-seven-figure deal, Sony Pictures Classics has acquired North American rights to another first feature out of Toronto: Aaron Schneider's debut "Get Low."
Reuters - Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel didn't just make beautiful clothes, she also advanced women's rights, says actress Audrey Tautou, who portrays the pioneering French fashion designer in a new film about her early life. Source: Yahoo! News: Fashion News | 21 Sep 2009 | 8:08 am
The Royal Opera of the Palace of Versailles, outside Paris on September 17. One of Europe's finest royal theatres, the Versailles Chateau Opera House, reopens after a two-year revamp with its busiest schedule... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 21 Sep 2009 | 8:06 am
AP - "The Man Who Loved Books Too Much: The True Story of a Thief, a Detective, and a World of Literary Obsession" (Riverhead, 288 pages, $24.95), by Allison Hoover Bartlett:
Hollywood celebrated television's best and brightest at the 61st Emmy Awards on Sunday night. Who dazzled most on the red carpet? InStyle rates the fashions.
Anna Nicole Smith infamously had 11 medications in her hotel room when she died, all prescribed by one doctor.
But we know who didn't help her get them.
Court records...
Dancing With the Stars is back, liiiive...meaning there's a whole new pack of celebrities—many of whom will end up being way more famous than before thanks to this gig—to get to...
Believe it or not, Kate Gosselin may not be as outspoken as you might think.
I hear the famous mother of eight was surprisingly reserved when she shot the pilot this weekend...
Kim Zolciak's a bit of a "Party" pooper, according to some.
"Tardy for the Party," the first single from the Real Housewives of Atlanta star's upcoming album, has...
The idea of Brad Pitt showing up in a Sherlock Holmes film hasn't been snuffed out yet.
Judging by the trailer, it looks as if audiences are either going to love or hate Guy...
We always knew our favorite weight-loss show, The Biggest Loser, meant business, but things just went to a whole other level. Is anyone superattached to Julio? If yes, say a prayer that...
The new Hollister store on Houston and Broadway seems to be pumping its fragrance outside its doors, and neighbors are pissed that it's stinking up the 'hood, the Post 
While the beginning secretly reads like the track listing to “O.J. Simpson’s Greatest Hits”, one song in particular caught our attention… Clearly…
No one has been more shameless about self-branding and self-marketing than 
Hunting down celebrities and taking their pictures—work carried out by thousands of paparazzi photographers every day—hasn't changed much over the past few years. The cameras are better and the lenses are longer. But the job still necessitates someone patiently waiting for hours outside the Bowery Hotel so that when Lindsay Lohan finally emerges, a thousand photos can be snapped of her in the six seconds it takes the actress to get from the door of the hotel to her waiting car. But technology could change the celebrity-industrial complex forever if Russian billionaire 
