Photo: Courtesy of QVC via nitro:licious and In Style

Read more posts by Lane Brown

Filed Under: brief interviews with hideous men, david foster wallace, dfw, john krasinksi, movies, you saw it here first

Grieving Liam Neeson Bows Out of Film Festival

Jackson's Burial: Finale for King of Pop

Demi vs. Perez: The Battle Over Titillating Tallulah

Vincent Kartheiser Has Some Unique Methods With Which He Gets Into Character on Mad Men

What's not to love about Mad Men's Pete Campbell? Before the second-season premiere, we went out on a limb with our passionate defense of his weaselly charms. And with the third season's revelation that Vincent Kartheiser has a future as a Dancing With the Stars front-runner should he ever decide to leave Mad Men, we find ourselves gaining more and more appreciation for both the character and the actor who portrays him (even though he may, in fact, be annoying in real life). Which is exactly why we found this interview that he recently did with Vanity Fair so enthralling. Whether he's discussing how he developed his character with series creator Matthew Weiner, dissing Aaron Spelling, or discussing the random profanities he shouts out before filming his scenes, he seems to be an endlessly fascinating specimen.

The piece begins with the revelation that Kartheiser does some, um, very unique vocal exercises before shooting his scenes as Pete Campbell. He screams out things like “What’s wrong with me! Fuck life in the ass" or "I wish I could be anyone on earth but me!" just slightly prior to the cameras rolling, which sort of makes sense, if you think about what it must take to bring the seething anger and jealousy that's boiling below Pete's surface to life. And he also confesses that working on an incredibly well-written show like Mad Men is, somewhat surprisingly, much easier for him than it would be to work on something like the 90210 reboot:

It’s easier to do Shakespeare than Spelling, and I know that sounds crazy, because the challenge of Shakespeare is living up to Shakespeare, living up to that word, not failing, you know, where with Aaron Spelling it’s like, just try to look good. (Laughs) Or maybe don’t use Spelling there, that’s bad … No you can. He’s dead.

Spoken like a true Mad Man, don't you think?

Mad Men Q&A: Vincent Kartheiser [VF]
Related: In Defense of Pete Campbell [NYM]

Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: amc, elisabeth moss, january jones, jon hamm, mad men, matthew weiner, pete campell, tv, vincent kartheiser

PHOTOS: Rihanna: Good Girl Gone Bad?

That’s One Hell Of A Special Edition Box Set For Season 5 Of Dharma And Greg

Or maybe it’s the Deluxe Season 5 box set for Lost. Like that makes sense.

Either way, it’s the perfect gift for anyone who’s way the hell more obsessed with Lost than even I am, and also has the means to play VHS tapes and floppy disks (it also comes with a Dharma Initiative 8-Track, a Dharma Initiative Commodore 64 game, and an authentic Dharma Initiative Phrenology caliper.)

Are those floppy disks for decoration or are they actual floppy disks? It’d be cool if they had the game Prince of Persia on them. That game was sweet.

Are ‘Weird,’ Severe-Looking Models Out of Fashion?

The Wall Street Journal argues that because of the recession, weird-looking models are going out of fashion, making way for girl-next-door types. When people are scrimping, weird models might scare them away from investing in $3,000 handbags. But in boom times, people will buy luxury goods no matter who's staring back at them in the shop window, regardless of whether she's shaved half her head and has safety pins through her earlobes. "Smart agencies will see the value in cultivating natural beauty," Wilhemina model scout Roman Young told the paper. "Agencies will be more hesitant to pour thousands of dollars into development ... of weird girls with weird haircuts who are very skinny, very severe-looking. All the agencies are looking at the bottom line."

The appeal of skinny, quirky-looking models hasn't seemed to diminish in the fashion world since the recession. The Journal points to Prada's fall 2009 campaign star Ymre Stiekema as an indication that "natural beauty" is back in vogue. Is it, though? Look at the campaign. She's sitting there with messy permed hair, red eye shadow, garter boots, and a dress that looks straight out of Gladiator , with her eyebrows barely visible. It's terribly chic in its own way, but for people who don't look at fashion stuff all day, she probably looks pretty out there. And let's not forget Givenchy's fall campaign star Ranya Mordanova, who has a black bowl cut, pale skin, and bleached eyebrows — just about as far from girl-next-door as models come these days. Also, Lanvin hired 42-year-old androgynous Kristen McMenamy for its fall 2009 campaign.

Elite manager Micki Schneider says there will always be a market for quirky ladies in fashion, adding, "in general, the American public wants more-accessible models." That's probably true. Maybe the question we should be asking is, If girls next door really are back in fashion, why does the industry insist on bleaching their eyebrows?

Girl-Next-Door Looks Come Back Into Fashion [WSJ]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: advertising, elite, fall 2009, givency, kristen mcmenamy, lanvin, model tracker, models, prada, ranya mordanova, trends, wilhemina, ymre stiekema

Shakeup at ABC Turns Bloody [Twitter]

Charles Gibson unexpectedly retired yesterday as the anchor of ABC's World News Tonight and then someone started talking trash about him at a party last night, leading to a "commotion" between Gibson defenders and detractors? Let's hope it wasn't Chris Cuomo who needed the ice! [Twitter]

Long Island Doctor’s Swine-Flu Rap Unexpectedly Awesome

Jerome Clarke, the medical director of the Long Island Railroad, has written and performed a rap about H1N1 prevention, and It. Is. Genius. Clarke — who has in the past rhymed about asthma and diabetes — entered his video, which you can watch here, in a contest the Department of Health and Human Services is sponsoring for the best swine-flu public service announcement, but if you ask us, anyone who can rhyme hand sanitizer with "I advise ya" should win a Grammy.

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: geniuses, panic-demics, raps, swine flu, things that are awesome, videos

Chris Brown Starts Beef With Oprah. Guess Who Finishes It?

Saltz: New York Challenges Glenn Beck to Art Exhibition

Glenn Beck doesn't like our art. New York magazine art critic Jerry Saltz challenges him to put his taste where his mouth is.

Last night, Fox News' harebrained commentator Glenn Beck took up the role of extreme right-wing art critic. He did a batty eight-minute paranoid rant tying together Obama, communism, NBC, the Soviet Union, Mussolini, Standard Oil, syphilis, fascism, the U.N., architecture, and public art in New York. Railing about "propaganda" in "plain sight," he fumed about an offensive 1937 door frame at Rockefeller Plaza showing a figure with wheat and a man holding a hammer. In no time, he was hysterical about how these figures represented "the worker and the farmer," and there was even a hammer and a sickle pictured (although the hammer resembled a shovel). It was his own private Da Vinci Code, tying all these degenerates together with “death panels,” ACORN, and socialism.

He then took off after a 1936 bas-relief at 636 Fifth Avenue, saying it "drives me nuts," concluding that a sun represented a "bright tomorrow," a wheel is "industry," and horses are the "engines of industry," and that the whole thing creates a connection between a strong leader, Mussolini, children, indoctrination, and "our president!" For the rest of the time, he basically attacked an early-twentieth-century sculpture based on the biblical passage in Isaiah about “turning swords into plowshares” and how progressives and fascists and communists were all one thing and that it somehow related to the Rockefeller Foundation giving a grant to the new czar for green jobs. I hope he doesn’t ask for the Statue of Liberty to be torn down because the poem on its base, "The New Colossus" ("Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses … ") was written by a communist Jewish woman, Emma Lazarus.

Since it’s always good when bears like this come out of the woods, let's try to coax this one out a little further.

A challenge to Glenn Beck: Curate two exhibitions in New York.

•The first, images (or actual artworks) that exist in New York City that he would like to see demolished. He could call it Degenerative Art.

• The second, a show of CONTEMPORARY ART that he approves of.

In the spirit of bi-partisanship, I would secure a first-rate New York venue for each exhibition and would write about each show in New York Magazine.

Who knows, after these shows, maybe we can get Morley Safer to do an exhibition of his watercolors of motel rooms, along with a showing of art that he approves of.

And, for reference, here's Beck:

Read more posts by Jerry Saltz

Filed Under: artsy, glenn beck, jerry saltz

An Empty Elevator Is Not a 'Private Space' [The Help]

If you've ever been tempted to get it on in an elevator—or you just use your trips up and down to tend to matters of personal hygiene—keep in mind that if there's a camera in the elevator (and there probably is), your doorman is watching. And he's taking notes. According to an employee of a virtual doorman company that monitors the goings-on at 100 co-ops and condos in the city, men and women do very different things when they step into an elevator on their own:

Guys are more worried about the things they're going to get called out on, like checking their fingernails, straightening their ties, checking their nose hairs—I've even seen guys check out their chest hair, like opening one button or two... Women do their hair and look at their rear ends, making sure they're looking slim from side to side.

The full article is here in the event you'd like to read about the multitasking man who used his two-minute elevator trips to "transact business" with a rotating cast of hookers.

Private dancers: Tales from the elevator security cam [BrickU]

Imus to Be Broadcast on Fox Business Network

We've never understood people who like to watch radio hosts broadcast on live TV. Have you seen what Elvis Duran looks like in real life? The exception, of course, is Howard Stern — because who doesn't want to look at all the strippers and celebrities and the occasional tiny-penis contest? (We wish we could say NSFW, but ... ) However, the Fox Business Network has decided to simulcast Don Imus's syndicated radio show from six to nine in the morning. That will not only kill its Money for Breakfast program (Oh no! Alexis Glick!), but it will mean that a finance channel — which was created to compete with CNBC — will not air business news for almost the entire three hours leading up to the opening of trading. Instead it'll have political analysis and off-color humor. A network that is pegging its success to comprehensive financial-service journalism and business and market coverage wouldn't make this sort of choice, so we look forward to more style changes in the network as time goes by. You know, Yo Gabba Gabba has proven to be extremely popular in a midday slot ...

Fox business TV to simulcast Don Imus radio show [Reuters via FishbowlNY/Mediabistro]

Read more posts by Chris Rovzar

Filed Under: cable news, don imus, fox business network, in other news, media

David Bailey Suggests Retouchers Are More Important Than Photographers

Fashion photographer David Bailey has been shooting for Condé Nast since 1960. When asked if fashion magazines are as good now as they were back then, he replied, "Now it's such a mass industry. They just churn it out. There's not much personality in it any more. You can't say, 'That's a Helmut Newton picture,' because you don't know who took the picture. 'Who did the retouching?' is the question you ask. It makes mediocrity look good. And people who are really good, it makes them look mediocre, so it's a levelling out. It's a bit like socialism." [Guardian UK]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: conde nast, david bailey, quotables

Will Final Destination’s Gut-Sucking Scene Suck Life Out of Chuck Palahniuk Movie?

Chuck Palahniuk is so proud of his story "Guts" that he has written an essay describing the "'Guts' Effect." "In all," he writes, "67 people have fainted while I've read 'Guts'. Over the internet, I now hear stories of other people making their peers pass out by reading it aloud. So that number keeps growing." The central image — a boy getting his intestines sucked out of his rectum by a pool drain — has become his visceral signature. So it must really suck for him that (spoiler alert!) a guy also gets his intestines sucked out of his rectum by a pool drain in the new Final Destination movie.

Palanhiuk's obsessive fans have been delving into the innards of this case, debating whether this is an explicit rip-off or just an appropriation of a common urban legend. We wonder if Koen Morier's film adaptation of Haunted, the book including the "Guts" story, will now go belly-up. Beaten to the gut-punch, won't any Haunted adaptation now just seem like a paunchy rip-off of Final Destination? Far be it from us to read the entrails and make some prophecy, but there's one thing we do know: If we were Palahniuk, we would want to eviscerate those guys for disemboweling that story. We hope Palahniuk has the intestinal fortitude to fight this to the bowels of hell, if only because it would be the most disgusting intellectual-property lawsuit ever.

Read more posts by Logan Hill

Filed Under: books, chuck palahniuk, final destination, guts, movies

Tomorrow’s Events and Sales: 60 Percent Off Chloe & Reese; Deals at Oak

SALES
STARTING TOMORROW
• Get up to 60 percent off of spring merchandise Oak, including samples and brands like Acne, Filippa K, Rachel Comey, and more. Through 9/6. 208 N. 8th St., nr. Driggs Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-782-0521). M–S, 11 a.m.–8 p.m.; Su, 11 a.m.–7 p.m.

• If you're willing to take a road trip to save some cash, Woodbury Commons is offering extra discounts on top of the usual 25 to 65 percent reductions. Take an additional 40 percent off at Banana Republic, Betsey Johnson, Burberry, Kate Spade, and more. Through 9/7. 498 Red Apple Ct., nr. Route 32, Central Valley (845-928-4000); Daily, 10–9.

ENDING TOMORROW
• The Chloe & Reese ready-to-wear collection is 50 to 60 percent off, including party and day dresses, silk blouses, pencil skirts, and more. Prices range from $50 to $160. 313 W. 37th St., nr. Eighth Ave., Ste. 601 (888-317-1695); noon–7.

Read more posts by Lauren Murrow

Filed Under: fashion calendar, sales, shopping

Dr. Clarke To the Rescue [Epidemics]

Did you know the Department of Health and Human Services is holding a competition to see who can come up with the best public service announcement about swine flu? It is! And a New York doctor has been picked as one of the top 10 finalists. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the lyrical dexterity of Dr. John Clarke, who spends his days working as the medical director of the Long Island Railroad. This guy is going places! [YouTube] 

Thugs Stealing Apple Laptops Easily Most Exciting Story Newscaster Has Ever Covered

Sure, this surveillance video of a handful of thieves stealing a couple dozen laptops in about 30 seconds is fairly rousing. But rousing as it is, does it really deserve the sort of over the top, Monday Night Football style coverage this Jersey reporter allots it? Watch and see for yourself:

(via Buzzfeed)

Jackman Honored With Sandwich

Following a similar honor bestowed on him by Papa John's in April, Hugh Jackman will get his very own sandwich at the Carnegie Deli, presumably in celebration of his upcoming role in Broadway's A Steady Rain. Available today for the first time, "The Wolverine" will feature pastrami, corned beef, salami, brisket, tongue, and American cheese. [ArtsBeat/NYT]

Read more posts by Lane Brown

Filed Under: carnegie deli, hugh jackman, jackman, sandwiches

Health-Care Protest Turns Cannibalistic

Health-care-reform supporters and opponents held dueling rallies on opposite sides of the street last night in Thousand Oaks, California. At one point, two men from opposing camps got into a scuffle that resulted in a 65-year-old anti-reformer getting his finger bitten off. That's right, not just bitten, but bitten off. "He punched me hard, straight in the face, so I bit his finger off," the strong-toothed man reportedly told his comrades afterward, as if it was a tactic he's used before. The 65-year-old had his finger reattached at the hospital. He was covered by Medicare. [KTLA, Odd Time Signatures, Top of the Ticket/LAT]

Read more posts by Dan Amira

Filed Under: fingers, health care, health carnage

Streetwear Fanatics Spent Two Days Camping Out for Supreme’s Grand Reopening

Hundreds of streetwear fanatics lined up for the reopening of the Supreme store on Lafayette Street this morning. The crowd was eager to get their hands on fresh fall merchandise after the store had been closed a whole two weeks for restocking. The first people in line — which stretched two blocks long — camped out since Tuesday night to have first pick of the goods. Jesus Ayala, 31, took yesterday and today off from his Department of Education job to secure his spot in the front. When the store opened at 11 a.m., Ayala got past the bouncer right away, and spent about $700 on a gray hoodie, camouflage pants, a belt, and a few T-shirts. Who says people aren't spending?

Read more posts by Sam Dangremond

Filed Under: photo op, reopenings, shopping, streetwear, supreme

Lionsgate taps Tyler Perry for 'Rainbow'

It’s Never Too Late for Will.I.Am to Be Bad at Another Thing

"I always loved the game of American football. I'm sad that I never followed my football dreams. Lately I've been thinking, is it too late to do it now? No way." —Will.I.Am blogging about his field dreams [E! Online]

"Jon deconstructs the news in a really brilliant comedic style. I take the sausage backwards, and I restuff the sausage. We deconstruct, but then we don't show anybody our deconstruction. We reconstruct—we falsely construct the hypocrisy. And I embody the bullshit until hopefully you can smell it." — Stephen Colbert on the difference between Jon Stewart and him [Rolling Stone]

"I remember being in a meeting where it came this close to Beetlejuice being called House Ghosts. I was like, 'Oh, man, straight to video.'" —Tim Burton [MTV]

“It scares me a little. When I go to meetings for other projects, the people I meet with only seem interested in the convergence of Edward Cullen and I. It’s like, ‘If the role interests you and you can bring the public from Twilight, you’ve got it’. They’d let me play a woman I think.” —Robert Pattinson is Edward Cullen [Showbiz Spy]

"My friends and I were really obsessed with that movie and — because we were annoying and ridiculous when we were in seventh grade — we would just write quotes from the movie on notes and pass them back and forth in class and laugh hysterically every time we opened the note and passed it back."—Megan Fox's favorite movie is Office Space [MTV]

"I love being on the West Coast for the show, I like being near the ocean and I want to learn to surf. I'm fully transforming into the California babe, but I still don't drive. I ride my bike. It's becoming less socially acceptable for me not to have a driver's licence. The drop-end cut-off is 30. If I'm not driving by then I have to start lying about it."—Anna Paquin [Contact Music]

Read more posts by Emma Pearse

Filed Under: anna paquin, megan fox, quote machine, robert pattinson, stephen colbert, tim burton, will.i.am

Celebs 'Drop Like Flies' in Summer of Death

Madoff Was ‘a Wonderful Storyteller,’ According to SEC Employee

Like we know that there are mice in all New York restaurants, we know that government agencies do not function with the greatest efficiency. And like a restaurant that has been closed down by the Health Department, when Bernie Madoff came out, we knew that something really, really gross had to have happened at the SEC. But that still didn't really prepare us for the SEC inspector general's long-awaited report on how the SEC overlooked the Madoff fraud, which is like looking at the congealed mouse droppings behind the stove.

For instance: Former Office of Compliance Inspections and Examinations director Lori Richards loved the 2001 article Erin Arvedlund wrote for Barron's, in which she questioned Madoff's strategy and returns, so much that she sent a copy of it to an underling!

She attached a note

on the top stating that Arvedlund is "very good" and that "This is a great exam for us!" However, OCIE did not open an examination, and there is no record of anyone else in OCIE reviewing the Barron's article until several years later.

One wonders whether, if the note had had a smiley face, it would have had more of an effect.

The folks at the SEC loved a good story, you see. Some years later, after one of their hugely inexperienced SEC investigators on staff went to visit Madoff at his office,

He described Mr. Madoff as "a wonderful storyteller" and "a captivating speaker" ... the examiner said he found it "interesting" but also "distracting" because they were there "to conduct business."

In the end, though, don't worry, he finally did get around to asking him some questions about "business."

As to why Madoff did not collect fees like all other hedge-fund managers, they accepted his response that he was not "greedy" and was happy with just receiving commissions.

Mind you, these bits are just from the executive summary.

Report Details How Madoff’s Web Ensnared S.E.C [NYT]
Executive Summary of Madoff Report [Scribd]

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: ballsy crime, barron's, bernie madoff, business, lori richards, made-off, madoff, the sec

Harry Potter Is an ‘Inglourious Wizerd’

"And the dark wizards will not be able to help themselves from imagining the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, at our quidditch bats, and at the ends of our wands." Hey Quentin, instead of that prequel you were hyping all summer, how about a reimagining of Inglourious Basterds using the Harry Potter cast? This guy's already written a lot of the dialogue for you! [Chris's Invincible Super-Blog]

Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: harry potter, inglourious basterds, mash-ups, quentin tarantino

Union Square: Then and Now [History]

The landscape of the city changes with each passing day as retail outlets come and go and older buildings are torn down to make way for new developments. But if you want to see what NYC looked like way back in the day, the Mannahatta Project has an interactive map that allows you to zoom in on any section of Manhattan—such as Union Square, left—and then travel back in time to see what the same area looked like in 1609.

The map isn't as exciting as you might expect. Manhattan was one big forest back then, so it doesn't matter if you focus on Union Square or Times Square—all you'll see is dense thicket of trees and brush. (Which is the point, of course; the Mannahatta Project is funded by the Wildlife Conservation Fund.)

But let's hope someone comes along and does the same sort of thing 50 years from now. That way your grandkids will get to see what Union Square was like during the rustic days of early '09—back when there was a store on the corner of 14th and Broadway that sold little pieces of plastic with music on them, and before a massive TGI Friday's took over the area. They'll never believe you otherwise!

Mannahatta Map [The Mannahatta Project]

Choreographer Says Donald Trump Handpicks Miss Universe Finalists

We don't believe it for one second. [NYDN]

Read more posts by Chris Rovzar

Filed Under: donald trump, miss universe, photo op

TOP CHEF VEGAS RECAP: Good Luck Cooking Food That’s Better Than Being In Iraq

This is a Recap of Top Chef Las Vegas Episode 3 entitled, “What Happens In Airbase, Stays In Airbase Vegas Dice Luck Wayne Newton!!” There are a bunch of spoilers about last night’s Top Chef episode in it.

– Three weeks in, it is painfully obvious how much better the chefs are on Top Chef Vegas than on Top Chef New York. From now on, I’m referring to TC:NY as the NFC West of Top Chef seasons.

– Think we had enough testimonials of chefs mentioning that they have family in the military so this challenge is special for them? I was waiting for one dude (probably Michael I.) to be like, “Yeah, I got no family in the military, so I don’t give a crap about what the military does for us. I put rocks in my food.”

– If you thought wasted dudes at a Vegas pool were finicky food connoisseurs, wait’ll you see servicemen and women returning from duty in Afghanistan! They will NOT stand for underseasoned shrimp in their Greek salads!

– Mark Peel: “The most difficult ingredient that you’ll be working with in this Quickfire Challenge, of course, is time. The second is potatoes.”

– Did anyone else think of a Mark Peel “potato” joke? I’ll bet I’m the only one to have thought of that ever.

– I can’t believe Ash got away with his sweet potato ice cream-turned-custard, not because it looked bad, but because it had all the makings of the “interview after the results, talk about how I screwed up” lead-up to the judges ripping on his dish. I wish Mark Peel had at least quoted, “Then you go ahead and do something like this, Ash…….and TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!”

After the jump, the Airtacular Elimination Challenge, and THE GREATEST QUOTE IN TOP CHEF HISTORY:

– Something got stuck in the judges’ craw in the Elimination Challenge, huh? They were all like, “Here’s our craw – what the F*CK did you f*ckers stick in it?? Now we’re gonna take your underseasoned dishes personally.” I’m guessing the Bravo producers tampered with said craw; this season’s group is so much better than TC:NY, they have to make up for it my laying into the couple crappy chefs even harder.

– How satisfying was it to watch Michael I’s reaction when Padma told him to come back with the bottom group? Watching his smugness from his partner’s winning dish transform into fumbling excuses over his pointless salad was simply breathtaking television. They need to submit that two minutes and Preeti’s 9/11 quote to the Emmys for consideration as “Greatest Televised Things.”

– Preeti’s pasta salad looked a little familiar:

– No comments about gays in the military, Ashley? Or did Bravo just cut her dissertation for time?

– Preeti at least went down with the greatest (non-Fabio) quote in the history of Top Chef:

“The day I first realized I definitely wanted to be a chef, for me, was 9/11.”

I realized how fragile life is, and how vulnerable we all are, and I just thought to myself: I really need to start making some sh*tty pasta salads. Also, the military is a theme this week, so, you know, 9/11. Those cameras aren’t on and that mic you put on me is fake, right?

– Padma’s pretty hot regardless, but what was up with her leopardskin skirt at the airbase? It reminded me of Lindsay Bluth wearing her sparkly “SLUT” t-shirt to prison after she was pissed about not getting enough cat calls.

UPDATED TOP 5:

1a) Brother Michael – He’s been absolutely on fire (literally look at his tan lolol), but Tom’s reaction to his bacon dish was uncharacteristically giddy. I haven’t seen Tom blush like that since the truckloads of “you’re our gay idol” mail from the TC:NY Reunion.

1b) Kevin – Didn’t win this week, but dropping him to the second spot is just splitting beard-hairs, he’s pretty much nailed every challenge, and I don’t see him just randomly screwing everything up one week.

1c) Jen – It’s gonna take either a one-week total botching by someone or Bravo to demand a Brothers Finale for Kevin/Michael/Jen not to be the Top 3. But I’ve been wrong before.

4) Brother Bryan – Also has yet to really make a bad impression, and his legitimacy plus the Bravo desire for brother-rivalry should let him cruise into the final weeks. Is his sister in the military? Someone look into that.

5) Eli – Solid performer from Day One; may be more of a “does well enough week to week” guy than a “grab this competition and win it” guy, but he could’ve won Top Chef New York (Though I think I could’ve at least made the finals.

No Chance: Jesse, Michael Isabella, Laurine, Ron

Episodes without “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” joke: 3. (Ironically, I took the “Under” on the Vegas Over/Under of .0001 episodes.)

Episode thoughts? Reactions, predictions, favorite lines other than the 9/11 one, Michael schadenfreude? Leave ‘em in the comments.

Of All The Folks We’d Pay to See Fall in Love, Aniston and Eckhart Are Last on the List

Sorry Love Happens. But even the fact that you are basically the plot of Bounce will not convince us to plunk down 10 hard-earned dollars to see you. Dead wife? Really? Really?

Because honestly, of all the people in the world and Hollywood who we could pay to see in love, Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart would literally rank below Sherman Hemsley and any number of the Fanning sisters. (Actually our fantasy romance.)

The jaw power these two have going on is staggering. This trailer is the equivalent to being around a couple that says “Babe” to each other too much, i.e. hot liquid eye and ear barf.

Could Tom Cruise Have Saved Dr. Parnassus (and Vice Versa)?

It's probably best to consider the free-speaking source on this one, but Terry Gilliam has apparently told Total Film magazine that Tom Cruise had asked, and was turned down, for one of the three roles in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus that opened up following Heath Ledger's death last January: "I'm not sure if it was Tom or his agent [who put Cruise forward for the role]. I know there was a period when Tom's agents were keen. The thing is, I was only interested in people who were friends of Heath. Simple as that. I wanted to keep it in the family."

We're still not clear on just how well Jude Law, Colin Farrell, and Johnny Depp, who ultimately took the roles, actually knew Ledger, but whatever — isn't it sort of too bad that Gilliam turned down Cruise? Regardless of how the final product would've turned out (surely not drastically different than it did without him), wouldn't the involvement of another megastar — one who runs his own damn movie studio, for God's sake! — have helped a little? Despite doom-y predictions, his Valkyrie was even a hit! If Cruise had starred in Parnassus, would the film have still languished for months this year without a distributor, accumulating bad buzz the whole time, only to maybe get picked up by Sony Pictures Classics? We doubt it. (As far as we can tell, the previously announced deal hasn't yet been finalized, and there has been no official word on an American release date.)

Come on, Terry, we know he's weird and was probably just trying to rehabilitate his couch-jumping image, but if Tom Cruise asks to be in one of your movies, you should always say yes.

Tom Cruise Failed In Bid To Help Complete Terry Gilliam's 'The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus' After Heath Ledger's Death [Playlist]

Read more posts by Lane Brown

Filed Under: heath ledger, movies, terry gilliam, the imaginarium of doctor parnassus, tom cruise

My Plastic Surgeon Is Also My Neurologist [Medicine]

You now have a fabulous new excuse to offer up the next time one of your annoying friends gives you a hard time about all the money you've been spending on Botox injections and facelifts. It isn't because you're vain or anything. It's because you're looking for a cure for your migraines and you just want to God-awful pain to stop. Who could argue with that? [NYT]

Former Reality TV Stars Dish on 15 Min. of Fame

Don't Confuse Ashley Dupre with Ashley Tisdale [Tabloid Obsessions]

Ashley Dupre is responding today to the (possibly made-up) reports that Eliot Spitzer is thinking about running for elected office: "I was happy to see that Mr. Spitzer is moving on with his life and considering getting back into politics," she writes on Global Grind, the website owned by her occasional yoga partner/mentor, Russell Simmons. "Everyone makes mistakes.  Everyone deserves a second chance. Me too, right? Well, apparently not." She goes on to complain that people think she's making a fortune off her notoriety, but she really isn't, and that although she really wanted to write a book, publishers lost interest when she told them she wasn't willing to "sensationalize" the sensational details that made her famous in the first place. Oh, well. In any event, she finishes up the rant by directing readers to a "rough cut" of latest single, "Inside Out."

You can listen to the song here, if you're feeling brave and you have 3 minutes and 50 seconds to spare.

If you're anything like us, you're going to immediately click on the button that allows you to download a clip of the song as a ringtone. Because who wouldn't want such a masterpiece to sound off countless times a day?  Be forewarned: For some reason, the site has its Ashleys mixed up and you'll be asked if you want to download Ashley Tisdale's song, "It's Allright, It's OK." A deep sense of disappointment may set in at that point. Our advice? Follow Ashley on Twitter instead! She only has 749 followers. (At least she did until we started following her; she's up to 750 now.) Let's help her get up to 1,000 today, shall we? 

SPITZER'S BABE SLAPS THE SNOBS [NYP]
The Controversy Won't Stop... [Global Grind]
Ashley - "Inside Out" [imeem]
@ashleydupre [Twitter]
Previously: Ashley Dupre Lands a Mentor [Cityfile]

A cameraman films while actors perform on the set of a pornographic movie

'Good Morning America': Who should replace Diane Sawyer? - Entertainment Weekly

Washington Post

'Good Morning America': Who should replace Diane Sawyer? Entertainment Weekly The announcement that Diane Sawyer will take over the ABC World News anchor chair in January 2010 might be bad news for those who've enjoyed her as the host of Good Morning America over the past few years, but it's good news for ... Diane Sawyer anchors her status on ABCLos Angeles Times Diane Sawyer's Exit Leaves a Hole on GMA's CouchTIME Diane Sawyer to take over as anchor for ABC World NewsTheCelebrityCafe.com Kansas.com -New York Times -MiamiHerald.com all 1,178 news articles »

England Forces Baby Pig to Suckle Dog Teat; Splodes Many an Ovary in the Process

Perhaps no other country has its finger on the pulse of the perverse world of interspecies friendships more than England, whose newspapers have gaggles of reporters dedicated to such headlines. Take the following:

Abandoned piglet is lost and hound: Giant farm dog saves baby pig’s bacon by adopting it as one of its own

Surely, this can’t be as cute as it sounds, right?

Oh F*ck.

England…

We never thought we’d say this… but…

YOU HAVE DONE IT AGAIN!

Netflix, Blockbuster shares fall on youtube deal - Reuters

DailyTech

Netflix, Blockbuster shares fall on youtube deal Reuters LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Shares of movie rental companies Netflix Inc (NFLX.O) and Blockbuster Inc (BBI.N) fell on Thursday, dragged down by news that online video site youtube is talking with several major movie studios about renting movies, ... Studios might use YouTube to sell, rent moviesLos Angeles Times YouTube to Offer Film RentalsZeropaid youtube Mulls Movie RentalsAtlantic Online The Associated Press -Telegraph.co.uk -Bloomberg all 632 news articles »

Memoir about becoming Buddhist monk, then quitting (AP)

AP - "The Novice: Why I Became a Buddhist Monk, Why I Quit and What I Learned" (Greenleaf Book Group, 346 pages, $24.95), by Stephen Schettini:

Spotted [Out & About]

Russell Simmons and Tina Brown having lunch yesterday at Da Silvano ... Cynthia Nixon walking downtown ... Daniel Craig carrying boxes into a building in Midtown, and then bumping into Diddy, who was was standing outside ... Ashlee Simpson arriving at JFK ... Blake Lively carrying an American Eagle shopping bag ... Jessica Lange and Sam Shepard walking in SoHo ... Al Pacino filming scenes for You Don't Know Jack in Brooklyn ... actor David Eigenberg standing with his son and wife on the Sex and the City set ... Hilary Duff talking on her cell phone ... and Shia LaBeouf and Carey Mulligan holding hands in SoHo.

Christian Poveda has been assassinated

A member of a Salvadoran gang

Chritain Poveda(R) with gang members

Apple to offer ready-made ringtones

Telluride offers award hopefuls

Volker Heise

People watching the presentation of the television show "24h Berlin - A Day in the Life"

People watch the p[resentation of the television show "24h Berlin - A Day in the Life"

Fantastic Mr. Fox Featurette Visual Proof of Wes Anderson’s Insanity; Genius

On November 13, for the low, low price of only $10-$18 dollars (depending on where you live), you will have the opportunity to view what we dare say will be Wes Anderson’s cinematic masterpiece, Fantastic Mr. Fox. The film, based on Roald Dahl’s classic children’s story, uses highly tedious stop-motion animation along with hand-made puppets and set pieces to tell its tale, as it were. And just in case the point wasn’t already driven home that Anderson wants this movie to go down as an instant classic, he’s used the likes of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman to voice the characters.

If you wonder why there aren’t more stop motion animation films and shorts, this brand new behind-the-scenes featurette should tell you why: It basically takes an insane genius (and Jason Schwarzman) to pull off.

Holy Sh*t, Is The Road About Vampires Too??

Because it’s too late to go back and digitally insert vampires into The Road, co-stars Viggo Mortensen and Kodi Smit-McPhee are doing their best to at least look vampirey at all promotional events. This photo grossed $5 million at the box office:

Review: `Gate at the Stairs' is Moore in top form (AP)

AP - "A Gate at the Stairs" (Knopf, 336 pages, $25), by Lorrie Moore: The author of acclaimed short-story collections "Birds of America" and "Like Life," Lorrie Moore has a well-deserved reputation as a master of that form, with powers of observation and a sense of whimsy that lend themselves to observing life in miniature.

Pixies' "Doolittle" Turns 20: Frank Black on the Band's Return to the Road

Frontman on Kim Deal's quality control and flying first class For a band that went 11 years between live performances, the Pixies are feeling awfully nostalgic this fall. The gargantuan box set Minotaur (which collects all their albums, plus extras like a concert DVD, art work and other fan bait) is out next month, and in November they're be celebrating the 20th anniversary of their iconic Doolittle album by playing the entire album all the way...

New York Attempts To Out-Gross Smoking Ads With New Anti-Cola Posters

Move over, gross anti-smoking ads, cause New York City recently unveiled this new ad campaign against sugary drinks:

Thanks for the suggestion, poster, but I would rather drink Coke that morphs into liquid fat than drink frickin’ seltzer. And how is milk an alternative to Coke? It’s just a separate healthy drink, but I’m not gonna order it instead of a Coke with a burger and fries, because then I would puke, and that again is a worse option than drinking liquid fat.

I can still have nine beers every weekend night, right? Lemmie read that small type…Sweet! In the clear.

Madonna concert has left soccer pitch severely damaged

You Know It’s a Slow News Day When….

This is the top story over at People Magazine:

Don’t get us wrong, we love “Stay”, but between this story and the fact that we’re battling a 101 degree fever right now, it’s going to be a long day. Especially with “Stay” now in our heads for the rest of the g d day.

Ashley Dupre to New York Women: You Aren't Better Than Me!

WILLED INTO EXISTENCE: Rocking Puppy Can’t Get Up, But Can Be Adorable

Shakespeare time-travels to 2009.

Shakespeare: What is’t this internet you speakest of? And wherefore its unending popularity that doth cloud this earth as the storms of wrathful Jupiter?

Me: Just watch this, it’ll explain everything:

Lisa Loeb is pregnant

Chris Brown Addresses Rihanna Beating, Sort Of

WATCH: John Legend's Legendary First Time

Pop Tarts: Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman to Have Sex Scene?

PHOTOS: Star Resemblances

WATCH: Kimmel: The Internet's Greatest Hits

Over 80 films will be presented at the prestigious festival

Erik Gandini said there was an unusually strong link between television and those who exercise power in Italy

WATCH: Kimmel: The Grouch on Swine Flu

Michael Jackson to Be Interred in Star-Filled Mausoleum

Geiger's `Third Man Factor': Help when you need it (AP)

AP - "The Third Man Factor: Surviving the Impossible" (Weinstein Books, 254 pages, $24.95) by John Geiger: Some call it a guardian angel, some call it divine intervention, others say it's a hallucination. Whatever it's called, people in life-or-death situations commonly say they get help from someone who helps them overcome a dire circumstance. It's called the "Third Man factor."

Review: Bill Loehfelm's second novel is a winner (AP)

AP - "Bloodroot" (G.P. Putnam's Sons), 326 pages, $25.95), by Bill Loehfelm: Bill Loehfelm's second novel, "Bloodroot," is both a suspenseful crime story and the saga of a troubled Irish-American family.

Celeb foodies bring a lot to the table

Chris Brown breaks silence