No one in the film talks about beauty — only youth. Does youth automatically encompass beauty, or is beauty not as important?
We had to separate the two. There’s no talk about breast implants or nose jobs because that’s about beauty. I was interested in the way we see mortality in the mirror.

Nearly everyone you interviewed was white.
A lot of other cultures or ethnicities don’t care about aging like Caucasians [do].

The women in the film were self-critical, and it was the men who were judgmental of others. What other gender differences did you notice?
We asked women why they were scared of aging, and everyone said, “Being alone. Being alone.” You never heard that from men. Society is changing so much, and it’s becoming more competitive and we have to stay in the workplace longer. Aging is affecting men in different ways, especially if they’re in sales or something. When it comes to aging, men are concerned about being destitute, or in a nursing home. And being alone, but more in the sense of not having someone to take care of them.

You’re 38. Are you worried about aging?
My fear has been less about beauty and more about time. I’ve always been obsessed with watches. I have timers go off all the time. As I got older, and my dad died, I realized you’re not going to be around forever. As women, you already have some issues. But this film took me seven years to do. I did something with my time. It makes me a little less uptight about it all.

Read more posts by Aileen Gallagher

Filed Under: beauty, julia allison, mitch mccabe, skin deep, youth knows no pain

John Krasinski Just Marrying Everyone in Sight

Not only are there spoiler-y new photos of The Office's Jim and Pam getting married on the Internet today, but John Krasinski's publicist has confirmed that he's engaged to Emily Blunt. It's probably just a coincidence, though we bet this will save him a tuxedo rental. [Buffalo News, Us]

Read more posts by Lane Brown

Filed Under: emily blunt, john krasinksi, love, the office, tv

Gisele’s Pre-Bump Indian Vogue Cover

Behold Gisele's freakishly perfect stomach on the cover of September's Indian Vogue. She flaunts its impossible flatness in a spread inside the magazine as well. Maybe it was her last hurrah before she grew a bump. But probably not. Because she'll probably look just as she does here seven minutes after giving birth. It's the supermodel way. [Oh No They Didn't]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: covers, gisele, indian vogue, models, pregnant models

It's Official: Michael Jackson Died From Drugs

Eleven-Year-Old at Long Island Town Hall: ‘Will the Government Pull the Plug on My Grandma?’

For a few minutes yesterday evening, the audience in the spacious auditorium of Brookhaven’s Sachem East High School followed the suggestions of George Washington. As the crowd filed in to attend the sole health-care town hall in Long Island, sponsored by progressive Democrat Tim Bishop, Washington’s “Rules of Civility” were projected across a screen. "When another speaks be attentive yourself and disturb not the audience," read one slide. Once people took their seats, however, Washington was quickly forgotten. “Hands off health care!” shouted mostly white anti-reform activists, only to be drowned out by the chants of “Yes we can!” shouted by a group consisting primarily of union members and supporters.

Once the initial shouting died down, the town supervisor began the evening by referencing the death of Ted Kennedy and asking for a moment of silence. “We don’t give a shit about Kennedy!” one man yelled, setting the tone for the two hours that would follow. If anything, protesters seemed determined to faithfully follow the larger script playing out across the country. Nazi references? Check. Scuffle on the floor that nearly erupted into a brawl? You betcha. One of the most dramatic moments came when a rosy-cheeked boy, who looked to be about 11, took the mike. "My 72-year-old grandmother recently had opened-heart [sic] surgery," he said. "Will the government pull the plug on my grandma?"

The debate seemed to be as much about people’s addresses as their views on health care; any pro-reform speaker was accused of living outside the district. One woman, blabbering incoherently about the Constitution not declaring what kind of health care she will have, screamed into the microphone: “Where are my freedoms? Where are my choices? This is like Nazi Germany!” Bishop tried his best to answer every question no matter how absurd or repetitive. One of his best lines of the night, which actually gave some of the protesters pause, was: “Think about it, you’re protecting a system that is bankrupting small businesses and families!”

Read more posts by Daniella Ponet

Filed Under: death panels, health care, health carnage, tim bishop

Video: The Eight Deaths of Michael Myers

Arriving in theaters today is Rob Zombie's Halloween II, the tenth entry in the unkillable horror series. But just as durable as the franchise is its masked, teenager-murdering antagonist, Michael Myers, who, through the years, has suffered eight hilarious deaths (Myers was absent for Halloween III, for some reason), including ones by shooting, fire, beating by Paul Rudd, and Bustah Rhymes–administered electrocution. So before you hit the theater tonight to see how they kill him a ninth time, please enjoy this video recapping his eight offings so far. Click to watch!

Read more posts by Amos Barshad

Filed Under: death, halloween ii, michael myers, movies, rob zombie, video

Kristin Chenoweth + Glee = Theater Geek Bliss

Now here's a genius piece of casting! The pint-size stunner Kristin Chenoweth is set to guest-star on an episode of Fox's Glee this fall as someone who is "quite the alcoholic and bad influence on the glee club members." So long as she doesn't sing "Don't Stop Believing," we see no way in which this could be anything less than awesome. [Cinema Blend]

Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: fox, glee, kristin chenoweth, theatergasms, tv

Not Everyone Approves of Duane Reade's New Look [Retail]

Duane Reade has given a number of its stores a makeover in recent weeks, turning its legendarily "cramped, dim" locations" into the sort of "lighter, airier spaces" you might find in a California strip mall. It's part of an effort to compete with all the Walgreens and CVS outlets popping up around town, and to highlight the changes underway, the company launched its first-ever brand advertising campaign last month. But maybe some people just preferred the drug store the way it was? The sign posted to the window of the LES location underwent an edit this week. You can take a look at his/her handiwork here. [Spiers]

Temperley to Launch Much Lower-Priced Line

Temperley makes some nice pieces, but they are so expensive. A cream silk minidress is $1,795. Another pleated raspberry dress is $1,495. The label started staging presentations in February instead of runway shows, which it had been doing since 2003 (they'll stage another presentation at Milk Studios this Fashion Week). The label has probably had a difficult time selling, oh, $695 waist belts and $990 tunic tops in the recession. But they've finally decided to launch a lower-priced line for spring 2010. Prices will start at around £35, or about $57. When Temperley — whose aesthetic we can only describe as militaristic boho chic — did a Target collection in 2007, the line was also stocked at Selfridge's in London and sold out within days. So this is a smart move for the label. Their lower-priced pieces will probably fly off the racks across the pond again. Maybe it will help finance a return to the runway. We just hope the one thing that starts at $57 isn't, you know, a headband no one wants.

Temperly [sic] London to add a new line to the label [Elle UK]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: designers, diffusion lines, new york fashion week, spring 2010, temperley, things that need to happen

Brody Jenner: Joe Francis Beat Up My Girlfriend!

Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami, Kim Takes the Toilet

John Krasinski Engages Emily Blunt!

Fashion Police: Kimberly Wyatt, Satan's Disco-Ball Diva

Summer Is Only Over If You Say It's Over [Pick-Me-Ups]

The summer season will be over shortly. Beach communities will empty out, bathing suits will be stored away in the back of the closet, and bulky sweaters will reemerge. Depressing, huh? Donald Trump is going to cheer you up! As you can see here, just because summer is "officially" coming to a close doesn't mean you can't pretend otherwise. [TMZ]

Bethenny Frankel and Andy Roddick Have a History

Bethenny Frankel mixed cocktails with Andy Roddick at last night's 10th Annual Taste of Tennis party — but it was not the first time the two have met. "Years ago, before anyone remotely knew my name, I met Andy at the Super Bowl," Frankel explained. This was when Frankel was the reporter and not the subject: "He was so real and sweet and he let me interview him for People.com. No one else would even acknowledge me, and believe me, I remember everyone who treated me like crap back then and treats me nicely now." (We believe her.) This time, Roddick recognized Bethenny as the TV star she is. "He has seen my show and he didn’t understand why I'm a non-married housewife. I told him the night was young." But she's no threat to Brooklyn Decker, Roddick's wife: "I showed him her GQ spread and told him that she was a real New York City housewife, 'cause they just bought a pad here. [Decker] is an avid Housewives fan so she briefed him and evidently told him that I'm the coolest Housewife. Phew — I didn't want to mess with a supermodel." So how did Frankel find Roddick this time around? "He's honest and funny and handsome and was the exact same endearing person that let me tape that crappy Super Bowl segment on my crappy home video camera. He's a true gentleman."

Read more posts by Mike Vilensky

Filed Under: andy roddick, bethenny frankel, party lines

TRAILER MIX: The Men Who Stare at Goats Features Men, Not Nearly Enough Goats

No movie title in history had perhaps whet my appetite for the cinema as much as The Men Who Stare at Goats. So much so that we included it on our 15 Movies To Be Excited About in 2009. Back then, we had this to say:

Why It Looks Awesome: If you were to ask us what one thing we wish we could do for the rest of our waking lives, the answer would be simple: Staring at goats. Oh, goats. Earth’s most hilarious creature that sort of looks and definitely sounds like people. So any man that shares this goat-staring fetish is certainly a man we could hang wit.

Oh, and if that man just happens to be our favorite actor alive Ewan McGregor or close 7th George Clooney, well, all the better. Even if this is a war movie that might not have any goats, we will choose to believe it is full of them.

Today, we catch our first glimpse of the trailer. And, you guys… there is NARY A GOAT TO BE SEEN. OK, maybe one, but we’re pretty sure that’s George Clooney…

This Weekend’s Events and Sales: Earnest Sewn Jeans for $50; 70 Percent Off Vera Wang Gowns

EVENTS
TOMORROW
• Partners & Spade and K-Swiss are hosting an August Sweatout Ping Pong Classic to celebrate their new shoe collaboration. The daylong event includes open-table matches, a pro demonstration, and a tournament (plus beer). 40 Great Jones St., nr. Lafayette St. (646-861-2827); noon–10.

SALES
STARTING TOMORROW
• Otte Brooklyn is having a closing sale, including Earnest Sewn and Current Elliot jeans for under $50. Prices range from $10 to $80. Through 9/6. 132 N. 5th St., nr. Bedford Ave., Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-302-3007); M–S (noon–8), Su (noon–6).

ENDING TOMORROW
• Intermix ends its semi-annual warehouse sale, offering up to 80 percent off retail prices. Labels include Stella McCartney, Chloé, Matthew Williamson, and more. Metropolitan Pavilion, 125 W. 18th St., nr. Sixth Ave.; Th (8–8), F (9–8), S (9–6).

• Temperley London is holding sample sales at its Soho and East Hampton locations. The Mustard leather jacket is $318.75 (originally $1,275), the Mini Ermine dress is $373.75 (originally $1,495), and the Mousseline jacket is $318.75 (originally $1,275). Soho: 453 Broome St., at Mercer St., second fl. (212-219-2929); W (8–8), Th–S (11–7). Hamptons: 53 The Circle, East Hampton, New York (631-329-6505); W–Th (10–6), F–S (11–7).

• Bridal Reflections is hosting a moving sale, offering 30 to 70 percent off gowns by St. Pucchi Couture, Ines Di Santo, Ramona Keveza, Eve of Milady, and more. 286 Fifth Ave., nr. 30th St. (866-259-3678); T–F (11–7), S (10–5).

ENDING SUNDAY
• Shop discounted women's and men's jewelry, timepieces, and eyewear at the David Yurman friends and family sale. The Altman Building, 135 W. 18th St., nr. Seventh Ave.; Th–F (8–8), S (9–6), Su (9–5).

• Select sunglasses and optical frames are up to 75 percent off at Morgenthal Frederics. 399 W. Broadway, at Spring St. (212-966-0099); M–F (11–8), S (11–7), Su (noon–6).

• The men's and women's spring 2009 collections are discounted at the Sophomore sample sale. Tanks are $30, cutout and belted dresses are $80, henleys are $35, and double-zipper skirts are $50. Circa Now, 238 E. 6th St., nr. Second Ave. (212-254-2555); Th–Su (noon–8).

STARTING MONDAY
• Bridal gowns are 30 to 70 percent off at Vera Wang. Through 8/31. 980 Madison Ave., nr. 77th St., third fl. (212-628-9898); 10–6.

ENDING MONDAY
• Consolidated spring items from all three Bird locations are 75 percent off at the Park Slope store. The Bird One Night Stand handbag is $239 (originally $950), the Isabel Marant short black pleated trench is $169 (originally $675), and Stella McCartney satin two-tone pumps are $159 (originally $645). 316 Fifth Ave., nr. 2nd St. (718-768-4940); F (noon–8), S–Su (noon–7), M (noon–8).

• Enjoy 25 to 40 percent off clothing, handbags, and shoes by American Retro, Antik Batik, Asli Filinta, Bulga, Malene Birger, and more at Stella Filante. 156 Ludlow, nr. Stanton St. (646-484-5889); daily (noon–8).

• Menswear and womenswear are 25 to 40 percent off at Stuart & Wright, including brands like Isabel Marant, Vanessa Bruno, A.P.C., Engineered Garments, and Acne. 85 Lafayette St., nr. S. Portland Ave., Fort Greene, Brooklyn (718-797-0011); M–S (noon–7), Su (noon–6).

• Items are up to 80 percent off at the Karim Rashid going-out-of-business sale. 137 W. 19th St., nr. Sixth Ave. (212-337-8078); T–S (11–6).

• Save up to 50 percent on Tucker Paisley’s summer beach collection. Canvas beach totes are $25 (originally $45), bandeau dresses are $30 (originally $55), and the Molly tote is $135 (originally $348). Online only.

Read more posts by Lauren Murrow

Filed Under: fashion calendar, sales, shopping

Ang Lee's Woodstock trip - Los Angeles Times

Brisbane Times

Ang Lee's Woodstock trip Los Angeles Times Timed to come at the tail end of all the publicity surrounding the 40th anniversary of the Woodstock Music & Art Fair -- or simply "Woodstock" to most of us -- Ang Lee's "Taking Woodstock" avoids overlap with Michael Wadleigh's seminal 1970 documentary ... E-mail This Going Out Guide Profile to a FriendWashington Post Taking Woodstock'MiamiHerald.com Review: Taking Woodstock Trips on ItselfE! Online California Literary Review -Examiner.com -TIME all 602 news articles »

Should We Subject Terrorist Detainees to Death by Minotaur?

As the debate over the interrogation of terrorism detainees continues, America is grappling with difficult questions, and searching its soul for the right answers. In addition to techniques like waterboarding, recent reports reveal that some terrorism suspects were threatened with guns and power drills, while others were told that their mothers would be sexually assaulted in front of them and their children killed. Is that going too far? Do techniques like these conform to our ideals? To take another example, is it appropriate to let an eleven-foot minotaur tear terrorist suspects limb from limb in a labyrinth with "constantly shifting walls," then add their spines to its spine pile? The Onion would like to know.

Read more posts by Dan Amira

Filed Under: minotaurs, the onion, today in torture

Signs of a Comeback [Art]

Things appear to be looking up for the art market. After five months of consecutive falls, prices are finally beginning to rise again as buyers become more confident and auction houses get a bit more realistic about prices. The renewed confidence appears to be having a positive effect on the auction houses themselves: Shares of Sotheby's have nearly tripled over the last five months. And galleries seem to be more bullish, too. Earlier this week, it was reported that Larry Gagosian is planning to add to his chain of eight galleries with a location in Athens. But not every segment of the market is bouncing back. Experts say that areas that became over-inflated in recent years due to "speculative bidding" are still losing value. Steve Cohen isn't out of the woods just yet, in other words. [Wealth Bulletin]

CAPTION THIS: Donald Trump And A Giant Workout Cookie

“Donald, we have an opportunity for you to put your name on–”

“I already said I’ll do it. It’s done. This conversation is fired.” [WINKS TO CAMERA THAT ISN'T THERE]

Secrets in Model's Murder Come to Light

Rudy Giuliani’s Son Accomplished Something

Young Andrew Giuliani hasn't had the best year. The recent Duke grad, who was third to bottom of the ladder on the varsity gold team, made headlines first last summer when he sued the school for cutting him from the roster. The 198-page lawsuit accused the Duke coach and Giuliani's teammates of perpetrating "a bizarre Lord of the Flies scheme" to get him out of the school athletic facilities and to subsequently spoil his life plan of becoming a pro golfer. (Even more embarrassing than hiring a lawyer to get you on a college sports team is to have your mother call up and try to force your way on, which it later turned out also happened in this case.) Eventually, the case was dismissed in May. Then, to top it all off, he didn't qualify for the U.S. Open this June. Bummer!

But finally, yesterday, Giuliani had a stroke of luck. He won a pro tournament in New Jersey! "This is a big-time first step," the 23-year-old said. "To win a championship like this for my first pro victory in my home area, it's just awesome. It's the culmination of a lot of work I've been doing on my game and hopefully, it's a step onto even greater things in the future." We think it would have been perfectly fair for him to have simply said: "Screw the haters, I told you I can actually play golf!" Because every single other part of this ongoing saga has certainly made us believe the opposite.

RUDY's SON PAR-FECTO AS PRO [NYP]

Read more posts by Chris Rovzar

Filed Under: andrew giuliani, duke, golf, rudy giuliani, the sports section

OMG4REALTHISTIMEUGUYS: Jim & Pam’s Wedding Photos Surface

For those of you that do not want to see extremely tiny pictures previewing what Jim and Pam’s wedding is going to look like on The Office, because you are an anal “no spoilers” person, we present to you this thoroughly non-spoily NBC approved promo for the new season:

For those of you with half a brain who have been imagining this television moment since the first whiff of sexual tension between these two surfaced on The Office so many years ago, i.e. “the Geniuses”, click ahead to see photos:

OK. Bad news for those who pictures a Say Yes to the Dress style affair: It’s not so much Vera Wang as it is Hefty Glad Bag Wang. Jim and Pam get married on a boat in Niagara Falls! Here’s a pic, with a photo so small it is a borderline torture:

How very November Rain of them. And another, for you romantics:

So… that’s it! Now, to look forward to the divorce episode. Click on the image below to see many more pics of the event, including many of John Krasinski back to his old, fly self.

Play, ‘Skimpy’ Crowd at Vick’s First Game Could Have Been Worse

Michael Vick, the football player even people who don’t care about sports can enjoy hating, made his debut last night with the Philadelphia Eagles. It was a meaningless preseason game against the Jacksonville Jaguars, and, as such, there weren’t many boos or cheers. Preseason football is rather lame. Even protesters, on both sides, couldn’t rankle themselves to action; the Philadelphia Inquirer called the smatterings gathered outside the stadium “skimpy.” And, as Deadspin pointed out, the Vick jerseys must be on back order.

It’s worth noting that Vick wasn’t especially good. He was fine, sure, completing four easy passes and looking fast, but not quite as fast as he was before he spent nearly two years in prison. But the whole Eagles offense looked out of sync when he came in, as if their polished system got nicked slightly off track with the new guy. It was as if the Eagles were doing the same thing anyone else watching the game was doing: Hey, look, there’s Michael Vick! The dog murderer! At wide receiver! At running back! Vick clearly has some skills left, but transitioning him into an established enterprise is going to take a while.

But again: That’s just boring football stuff. Mostly, the big massive Omigod Look at All the Angry PETA People shitstorm that everyone was expecting for Vick’s first game did not materialize. Whether you believe Vick deserves the extra scorn — and some of us think he’s served his time and should be allowed to return to his life and career, no matter how Not Sorry he seems — certainly observers were expecting more palpable outrage.

Of course, it was an Eagles home game. They have one more preseason game in which Vick is expected to participate. It’s this Thursday. It’s in East Rutherford against the Jets. The 164 bus to the Meadowlands Sports Complex leaves Port Authority every ten to fifteen minutes starting at 6:26 a.m. on weekdays. You can buy your tickets in advance, if you so desire.

Read more posts by Will Leitch

Filed Under: eagles, football, michael vick, the sports section

Spotted [Out & About]

Chace Crawford eating on a bench in the West Village ... Anne Hathaway walking with boyfriend Adam Shulman downtown ... Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell sitting with Jack Nicholson and Lorne Michaels at a Yankees game ... Beyoncé leaving Bar Pitti with Jay-Z ... Matt Lauer walking solo ... Tina Fey shooting scenes for 30 Rock in Rockefeller Plaza ... Blake Lively walking around on the set of Gossip Girl ... Jerry Springer arriving at his hotel ... Rihanna visiting a doctor's office on Long Island ... Britney Spears carrying her son around in Midtown ... and Whitney Port leaving Sant Ambroeus in the West Village after having lunch.

Real Anna Wintour: Does 'Devil' Have a Heart?

LeAnn Rimes' flame asks for privacy

WATCH: Liam Neeson on Ted Kennedy, New Film

Jesse Dayton crosses over with 'Halloween II'

Governor Paterson Keeps on the Sunny Side of Life

Governor Paterson is going through kind of a rough patch, to put it generously. His approval rating still hovers around 30 percent, his head-to-head numbers against both Andrew Cuomo and Rudy Giuliani are pretty dreadful, and he just went through a week of awkward semi-apologies over his widely unappreciated claim that the media has it in for him because of his race. But he's keeping a glass-half-full kind of outlook!

Paterson tells the Daily Beast that he's almost definitely going to run for reelection (or election, we guess) — a nine out of ten on the scale of certainty. And he's hopeful that eventually people will begin to realize, "you know something, he used his resources with the best possible facility, and there is really no one who could’ve been governor ... who would've been much further away from the decisions that he made." It's possible! Even when a man approached Paterson at a state fair yesterday to criticize his recent comments about the racist media, Paterson took it in stride.

“He said, ‘I was real disappointed what I read about you.’ He said, ‘I’ve always thought you were better than that,’ ” Mr. Paterson said, describing the encounter. “I said, ‘Thank you.’ ”

And then Paterson stopped to check out a "giant butter cube sculptured into the shape of a dairy truck," which we assume was awesome. Things are looking up!

Paterson's Got a Bone to Pick [Daily Beast]
Crowds, Butter Sculpture and No Polls: State Fair Is a Pick-Me-Up for Paterson [NYT]

Read more posts by Dan Amira

Filed Under: david paterson, politics, the cuddle muddle

Good Morning Internet! Here Are Puppies Dressed as Cats

The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien has sliced open the internet’s jugular with the following sketch, “Puppies Dressed as Cats.” The only thing truly missing was a dozen old-timey strollers and my body spooning all of them at once.

WATCH: Brooke Elliott: 'Drop Dead Diva'

Why Have I Never Seen Bailey’s Billions?? You’re Fired, Internet.

For all the times someone sends me a video online that I’ve seen a million times and causes me to demonstratively roll my blogger eyes and email a .gif of me doing that back to the person, I have no recollection of ever seeing this trailer for 2005’s Bailey’s Billions, the story of a dog who inherits billions of dollars (and is named Bailey), which is now already my favorite movie.

Sound effects, villainous Tim Curry, Dog in charge of a company (how can he run a company he is a dog!!!!), Jon Lovitz phoning in a voice performance — colleges should replace all film major classes with this trailer on repeat:

(via Film Drunk)

Celebrity Disc Jockey 'DJ AM' Found Dead in N.Y.

The Schwarzmans List Their (Old) Hamptons House [Buyers & Sellers]

• Blackstone Group co-founder Steve Schwarzman and his wife Christine have put their East Hampton home on the market. The 2.1-acre property, which the couple purchased for $2.3 million in 1996, is listed for $7.2 million. The couple will hardly be homeless if and when they sell it. The Schwarzmans are finishing up construction work on the much larger estate in Water Mill they agreed to buy in 2005 for $34 million. [WSJ, BHS]
• Developer Bruce Ratner has sold his 4,500-square-foot home in Montauk to art dealer David Zwirner for $10 million. He's reportedly looking for a "less pricey" estate in Quogue. [NYP]
• Actress Molly Shannon has sold her apartment at 66 Ninth Avenue for $2.61 million. The three-bedroom pad, which Shannon bought for $1.6 million in 2003, had been listed most recently for $2.85 million. [Real Deal]

• Architect Enrique Norten has put his condo at One York Street—the Tribeca building he designed—on the market for $1.995 million, one year after buying it for $1.929 million. It isn't the first time he's tried to sell the place, though. Norten first put the two-bedroom pad on the marker in April, but pulled it off the market just one month later. [Curbed, Sotheby's]
• Palmer Vineyards, the Long Island winery once owned by the late ad executive Bob Palmer, has gone on the market. Comprised of three separate properties, the estate is currently listed for a combined $10.8 million with Brown Harris Stevens broker Suzanne Hahn. [WSJ]

WATCH: Chris Brown's New Tune: 'I'm A Changed Man'

Madame Tussauds Slaps Michael Jackson’s Head On Leftover Jesus Body

Any other way to explain this new MJ wax statue?

Also, I like that the headline “Madame Tussauds Hollywood Unveils Michael Jackson’s Wax Figure,” as though this was the first one ever.

“Yeah, after his death and all that public outpouring, we checked back over this dude’s career and realized, damn, he probably deserves a statue, he’s accomplished nearly as much as Dirk Nowitzki…”

While You Were Unsure How Politely Drunk To Get At The Kennedy Memorial

• An arbitrator ruled that Jeremy Piven did not violate his contract when he pulled out of the Broadway play Speed The Plow for mercury poisoning. After winning the verdict, a jubilant Piven exclaimed “Hear that, Lloyd? Time to celebrate like you just Eiffel Tower-ed Robert Pattinson,” to which the judge responded, “Wow, still makin’ those jokes in Season Six?”
• Police found marijuana at Michael Jackson’s home shortly after he died. Boom — cause of death SOLVED.
• TMZ has also discovered that Michael Jacksonfailed his credit report in 2007, posting a “Very Low” 563.67 credit score. Any other sh*t we haven’t dug up on this dude yet? What was his pH level like in 2008? How many frequent flier miles did he have? Was he getting enough riboflavin?
• The A&E and Lifetime television networks have merged. In a possibly related story, production on a 12-hour Biography miniseries on Nora Roberts was instantly greenlit.
• This headline is better if you don’t read the article.
• Halloween II and The Final Destination both hit theaters today. For the hell of it, studios decided to re-release Deep Impact and Armageddon this weekend too.

Review: 'September Issue' is dishy fun

They're Doing What? Unlikely Celeb 2nd Acts

Blagojevich and Wife Patti to Appear on 'View'

Michael Jackson Felt 'Young' at 50, Never Reached 51

Brody Jenner: Joe Francis Beat My Girlfriend Up, Tased Me

Sex, drugs, little rock 'n' roll in 'Woodstock'

Coroner Officially Rules Michael Jackson Death a Homicide

PHOTOS: Smokin' Hot Dads

Bayreuth Wagner revival shines (AP)

AP - Jackbooted Nazi storm-troopers. A mad magician in drag. And a German history lesson from the days of Bismarck to the time when the vanquished nation rises from the ashes of Hitler and World War II.

Pop Tarts: Model Dishes on Poor Treatment on 'Entourage'

Review: Yoostar is a movie-studio-in-a-box (AP)

AP - If you've ever wanted to battle "The Terminator," talk smack as "The Godfather" or get in the shower with a "Psycho," now you can — without having to move to Hollywood.