AFP - Anthony Blunt, one of Britain's most notorious Cold War spies, admitted that spying for Russia was "the biggest mistake of my life," in memoirs released on Thursday, 26 years after his death.
 The Associated Press | Cronkite funeral Thursday at Manhattan church CNN NEW YORK (CNN) -- Legendary newsman Walter Cronkite's funeral will be held at 2 pm ET Thursday at St. Bartholomew's Church in Manhattan, his family announced. Walter Cronkite, who anchored the "CBS Evening News" from 1962 to 1981, died Friday at age 92 ... Walter Cronkite's funeral to honor CBS newsman Walter Cronkite to be Laid to Rest This Afternoon Cronkite Funeral Today |
 CharlotteObserver.com | 'Eternal Sunshine' director to do 'Green Hornet' The Associated Press HONG KONG — "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" director Michel Gondry has replaced Hong Kong comedian Stephen Chow as director of the Columbia Pictures adaptation of the TV series "The Green Hornet," a studio spokesman said Thursday. ... Comic-Con: Seth Rogen, Michel Gondry & Evan Goldberg Unveil Green ... Photos: Seth Rogen Unveils "The Green Hornet" Car Comic Con In Photos: Seth Rogen Unveils Green Hornet's Sweet Ride |
AP - "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" director Michel Gondry has replaced Hong Kong comedian Stephen Chow as director of the Columbia Pictures adaptation of the TV series "The Green Hornet," a studio spokesman said Thursday.
AP - A prosecutor told a London court Thursday that Amy Winehouse used deliberate and unjustifiable violence when she punched a fan who had asked for a photograph.
AP - Investigators looking into the death of pop star Michael Jackson have seized new information to analyze as they narrow their focus in what could become a criminal investigation.
AP - A funeral for Walter Cronkite, widely considered the premier TV journalist of his time, will be a private family service.
Let us just say, we are shocked—shocked!—by the news that Michael Jackson's death certificate has been improperly accessed, like, 300 times.
To think that the same...
 guardian.co.uk | Spiderman director takes on "World of Warcraft" movie Reuters LOS ANGELES (Reuters Life!) - Film director Sam Raimi brought Spider-Man to life on the big screen and now he is set to bring the orcs and dwarves from the hit role-playing fantasy videogame "World of Warcraft" to the big screen. ... 'Spider-Man' Director Agrees to Take on Warcraft Project Raimi to direct 'World of Warcraft' movie Wow, Indeed! Raimi Readying Warcraft for Big Screen |
Yesterday was a pretty intense round in our Robert Pattinson vs. Taylor Lautner face-off. Who has the most luscious lips? Pretty salacious stuff. Let's slow things down with something a little...
If David Hasselhoff thinks he can come on and charm the women of The View with his inananities, well, maybe he can.
But that doesn't mean E!'s own Chelsea Handler is going...
Just how much money does a singer like Gwen Stefani or Beyoncé take home from album sales and concerts?
—Thisfunktional, via Twitter
So you're talking big-big...
Jon Gosselin moves pretty fast—and he's not the only one.
E! News has learned that the very well separated father of eight is hanging out at Michael Lohan's home in...
Can one ever get enough of Gilles Marini?
As long as the Dancing With the Stars runner-up is willing to show off his stuff, we're more than happy to take a...
• Rumor has it Thomas Keller is planning to open another restaurant to NYC in "one of the new high-rise buildings in Chelsea." Keller's denying it. [TFB, GS]
• The day in reviews: Frank Bruni is a little disappointed with Locanda Verde; the Post's Steve Cuozzo totally digs SHO Shaun Hergatt; Danyelle Freeman of the Daily News thinks Marea rivals Le Bernardin but is way too expensive; and GQ's Alan Richman and Bloomberg's Ryan Sutton both tackle DBGB.
• Andrew Silverman's City Lobster & Steak is now bankrupt. [Crain's]
• The NYPD is cracking down on narcotics sales involving club promoters. [BB]
• A man was indicted today for allegedly raping a woman at Marquee. [NYP]
• Momofuku may jump into the food cart fray. We'll second TFB's sentiments: "This gourmet cart/truck business is getting out of control." [Eater, TFB]
• A list of New York's best European beer gardens. [NYDN]
• Cheap lunch eats for poor people who work in the financial district. [AMNY]
• Will Bon Appetit and Gourmet live on? It's an open question. [EMD]
• Is a T.G.I. Monday's opening in Brooklyn? [Gothamist]
• Taco Bell's mascot—Gidget the Chihuahua—is now in dog heaven. [People]
We'll be keeping an eye on President Obama as he discusses health care at his prime-time presser tonight at 8 p.m., so keep an eye on our Twitter page. [DailyIntel/Twitter]
Read more posts by Dan Amira
Filed Under: barack obama, health care, important things, press conferences
Ajit Jain, head of the reinsurance business of Berkshire Hathaway Inc. placed the winning bid on second-place Ponzi schemer Marc Dreier's apartment in the Bloomberg building yesterday. For $8.2 million, Jain scored all of this, plus a 2003 bottle of Château d'Yquem and a bottle of Ruinart Champagne Brut Blanc, according to the New York Law Journal, which also includes these compelling yet repulsive details about the bedroom the noted prostie afficinado slept in during the four months he spent on house arrest this year.
A wood-framed mirror occupying nearly a full wall of the master bedroom faced Mr. Dreier's bed. A woman's black camisole was rolled up next to one of the nearly 30 pairs of shoes the attorney had left behind in his closet.
Might want to change the sheets, Ajit.
New York Law Journal [via DealBook]
Read more posts by Jessica Pressler
Filed Under: ballsy crime, business, gross things, marc dreier, ponzi schemes
Love or hate Victoria Beckham's style, you gotta admit: It's not boring.
Her Poshness is totally dedicated to her couture, even at the airport. While most folks are...
Starting tomorrow, attendees of Comic-Con 2009 will get a sneak peak into some of the most biggest, most buzzed-about flicks from...the future! Fanboys and Twilight tweens will gather to get up in...
France used to pride itself on the topless women prancing around on its shores. But a growing number of gals between the ages of 18 and 30 are against this national pastime. Blame the economy: Who has money to waste on two pieces of a bathing suit when only one will be worn? Also blame modern feminism. During women's lib in the sixties and seventies, going topless was a sign of "sexual liberation and a return to nature," Christophe Granger writes in his new book, Les Corps d'été. It was a way for women to be just like men. But the younger generation's feminist goals don't revolve around the right to dress the same as men on a beach, but attaining equal pay in the workplace and work-family balance.
In a recent poll, 24 percent of women said toplessness on beaches perturbs them. France is taking legal action against topless tanners. At the artificial beach Paris Plages, topless ladies can be punished with a fine.
But there is a "militant" group of young feminists who are fighting for their topless rights.
"My body, if I want, when I want" is one of the slogans they have borrowed from the 1970s struggle. Two months ago, when a group of them removed their tops and dived in to Les Halles public pool in the centre of Paris in a commando action, pool assistants tried in vain to get them to cover up.
Previous topless commando raids on public pools have seen police intervene to stop them.
They refuse to accept that women's and men's bodies are treated differently. And maybe they have a point, sort of. We have no idea how the (straight) male brain works, but we know plenty of women who will shamelessly check out a hot shirtless guy with nice pecs. In any case, the French media insists most of the women going topless in that country these days are over 60.
France mourns the death of topless sunbathing [Guardian UK]
Read more posts by Amy Odell
Filed Under: boobs or lose, france, tanning
Just a day after we ranted about Jon Gosselin, the philandering star of the piddling TLC reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8 and his brazen use of the tabloid machine to maintain the spotlight on him, he does it again. He was spotted in Southampton this week with his girlfriend, on a double date with Lindsay Lohan's dad, creating a junk spectacle so gruesome we had to write about it. Kudos to Guest of a Guest for at least cutting the pain of this item by including a hilarious picture of Michael Lohan in a see-through top. [GofaG]
Read more posts by Chris Rovzar
Filed Under: jon gosselin, jon gosselin is the fifth horseman of the apocalypse, michael lohan, the least important people in the world
A protest took place outside the offices of Goldman Sachs today! The crowd gathered in front of 85 Broad Street must have been outraged about the role Goldman played in the subprime mortgage crisis, right? Or how the bank managed to generate massive profits from the economic downturn while also convince Washington to bail out the banking industry? Or the way in which the bank has systematically used its ties to top officials in Washington to its advantage? Not so much! The signs, according to Dealbreaker, read "Stop the injustice at Stella D'Oro." It seems the people gathered outside think Goldman can prevent the cookie factory in the Bronx from closing down because it owns a piece of the company that owns Stella D'Oro. Oh, well. Guess you'll have to protest all the other stuff another day! [Dealbreaker]
Despite today's wintry economic climate, there is one evergreen entertainment staple that Americans just can't get enough of: Watching other people suffer indignity. Hence, ABC's decision to renew the hit summer TV extravaganza Wipeout for a third season. Remember, people, this is the network that has been running AFV for the last twenty years. [THR]
Read more posts by Mark Graham
Filed Under: abc, ow my balls!, tv, wipeout
Buried in this Billboard story from Sunday, and heroically excavated by Stereogum today, is the news that Jay-Z's upcoming Blueprint 3 will feature a collaboration with MGMT. At least it's better than Chris Martin! [Billboard via Stereogum]
Read more posts by Lane Brown
Filed Under: blueprint 3, jay-z, mgmt, music
CNBC's Charlies Gasparino doesn't ordinarily have the time to listen to people who don't matter on Wall Street. But this one website, Zero Hedge, sticks in his craw. Every time he says something vaguely charitable about Goldman Sachs, see, this blogger there writes about him like he's on the take from the company. Like he, Chas, is colluding with them. Never mind that roughly 90 to 100 percent of what Zero Hedge writes about is someone or other conspiring with Goldman Sachs, Gasparino felt he needed to set the record straight by administering a good, old-fashioned, Brooklyn-style smack down: "I get these moronic bloggers writing about me ... especially this one idiot at Zero Intelligence," he says. As compared to Dennis Kneale's recent rants about the same blog, it was pretty tame. But then Gasparino's ace cohort, Michelle Caruso-Cabrera, stepped in and upped the ante. "'Moronic bloggers' is redundant," she chirped, apparently forgetting that a number of her former colleagues at the Times are currently employed as such or that Gasparino himself has been known to dabble in Internet name-calling, not to mention the oft-cited lesson, "Picking on kids smaller than you only to makes you look like a bully and/or insecure." Then she added for good measure: "He's probably not as handsome as you, either." Oh, Michelle. As we used to say in middle school, which is where this kind of behavior belongs, "That's mature."
Read more posts by Jessica Pressler
Filed Under: charlie gasparino, israel, palistians, tyler durden, wars, you know what else is redundant? "airhead CNBC hostess", zero hedge
The Scala Bio-Fir Anti-Cellulite underpants came out in May in the U.K. They only cost £25 and are supposed to literally melt away cellulite just by being worn. It's science, you see: The fabric contains crystals that warm when they come in contact with skin. This improves circulation in the areas of the body touched by the fabric, which encourages fat cells to turn into a liquid which is then excreted from the body by the liver. The Daily Mail reports:
Research showed that four out of five women who wore the knickers every day for a month lost inches from their stomach, hips and thighs. Cellulite was also reduced. The effects are said to last up to 12 months, provided wearers exercise and eat healthily.
When the magic crystal underpants hit sales floors at John Lewis, they sold out in the first day. They then quickly sold out on the underwear company's website and started selling on eBay for £60. More than 4,000 women signed up for an email alert informing them when the girdle was back in stock (which happens to be today). Someone should hack that list and send them a memo informing them that wearing giant girdle panty-shorts won't make them thinner or less dimply, and that the only crystals with any sort of potential to magically melt away fat of any kind are probably made with methamphetamine.
Shoppers get knickers in a twist in rush to buy best-selling anti-cellulite £25 control pants [Daily Mail]
Read more posts by Amy Odell
Filed Under: body issues, do you believe in magic?, underwear
We might be young in our reading material, but music-wise, thirty’s coming on hard: We love the new Wilco album, Pearl Jam’s single has us psyched for their fall disc, and we are really feeling U2’s “I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight.” You could probably have a little fun with what would constitute Bono going crazy one night (two glasses of wine … referring to Africa as a country, not a continent, at a dinner party … “Stinging” his wife with a marathon session of tantric sex), but if the song’s burdened with a trite topic, it’s got an unbearable-lightness-of-being execution, especially with the classic Bono-roo chorus, all tingly uplift — think of it, to use his words, as “squeezing out sparks.” The weakest thing here is the video — a cute-sad animation Radiohead would have rejected back when they themselves knew something about spark-shooting.
New U2 Video - "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight" [Stereogum]
Read more posts by Nick Catucci
Filed Under: music, music video, right-click, u2
The greatest threat to the environment, according to extensive reporting by the Associated Press? The mayor, that's who:
Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who has pushed an ambitious green agenda and cast himself as a national environmental leader, routinely runs afoul of his own anti-pollution policy by letting his official SUVs idle, sometimes for more than an hour. In spot checks over the past week, The Associated Press timed idling periods for the mayor's city-owned SUVs, which shuttle him around the city or trail him when he takes the subway. The parked vehicles idled at least eight times for periods of 10 minutes to over an hour.
At this rate, it won't be long before Manhattan begins to look like this. Do be sure you have your favorite bathing suit ready and waiting. [AP]
Emmy Rossum wears a body-conscious printed Phi mini-dress while on the red carpet for the premier of “Orphan” in Los Angeles yesterday.
Would you choose a paisley print or keep it simple?
Read more posts by Diana Tsui
Filed Under: emmy rossum, look of the day
The New York Times Magazine's lengthy profile on Valerie Jarrett this coming weekend takes a long look at the way Barack Obama's former campaign adviser and close family friend interacts with the rest of the White House. It's a testy relationship at times, yet also an effective one — and often even more than Rahm Emanuel, it seems that Jarrett is the only one who is sure to have her goals met when she sets her mind to something. This is a holdover from the campaign, when Jarrett was often the last line of offense when trying to convince Obama to do something he didn't want to do. For example, in January of last year, campaign staffers were desperate to get Obama to attend a very important event where more than 2,000 college-educated black women would be in attendance. It was at a moment when Obama's camp was trying to steal the Southern black vote from Hillary Clinton and curb the impression that he was a preppy northern elitist. But Obama was digging in his heels.
The event was the African-American sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha's Pink Ice Ball in South Carolina. Here's how it went down:
"I've been to sorority events before," he said. "We're not gonna change anybody's mind." At the day's penultimate event, a rally in Columbia, [three top staffers] pleaded their case to Jarrett, the Obamas' longtime friend and consigliere. When they were finished, Jarrett told them, "We can make that happen," as [Anton] Gunn would recall it. Jarrett informed Michelle of the situation, and when the candidate stepped offstage from the rally, Obama's wife told him he had one last stop to make before they called it a night."I told Anton I'm not going to any Pink Ice Ball!" Obama barked.
Then Jarrett glided over to the fuming candidate. Her voice was very quiet and very direct.
"Barack," she said, "you want to win, don't you?"
Scowling, Obama affirmed that he did.
"Well, then. You need to go to Pink Ice."
"And he shuts up," Gunn recalls, "and gets on the bus."
It's unknown whether the Pink Ice Ball was what clinched South Carolina for Obama, where he won by nearly twice the votes Clinton scored. But we'd like to think it was.
The Ultimate Obama Insider [NYT]
Read more posts by Chris Rovzar
Filed Under: barack obama, early and often, obama administration, politics, valerie jarrett
Finally, Nordstrom is coming to New York! A Nordstrom Rack is opening in Union Square where Virgin Records used to be. It will open next spring, probably with a celebration that won't come close to the Kate Moss fuss-fest that occurred when Topshop opened in Soho this year — which is fine by us. Nordstrom Rack carries the same brands as Nordstrom with 50 to 60 percent off original prices. Nordstrom Rack can be hit or miss in our experience, but the merchandise will probably be considerably better than that of it's neighbors, Filene's and DSW. We only went in the Virgin Megastore about once a year, but always had a good time in there perusing the cheap DVD rack. The Nordstrom Rack is more than a worthy replacement, but it would be nice if Virgin re-opened a Not-So-Mega Store in that terrifying zoo with the blue sign and white interiors on 14th and Broadway that calls itself a shoe store. Maybe the recession will be the best thing to ever happen to Union Square shops.
Breaking: Nordstrom Rack Signs On for Union Square [Racked]
Read more posts by Amy Odell
Filed Under: dsw, filenes, good news!, nordstrom rack, store openings, virgin megastore
A couple months ago, items purported to be the former property of R. Kelly began appearing on Craigslist. Decider's David Wolinsky followed up and was rewarded with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to tour the sprawling Chicago mansion (and former church!) which Kellz made his home between 1996 and 2000 (it has sat unoccupied since). Wolinsky was disappointed to find that it was just like the house of any other wealthy superstar, unless you count the Space Jam memorabilia and the basement, which was inexplicably decorated by Kelly to look like a log cabin, and features wallpaper that gives the illusion that you're spying on someone else's adjacent pretend log cabin (there are photos). The mansion's current owner is looking to sell it for something in the "millions-of-dollars range," but this place sounds like a steal at any price.
You don't turn down an invitation to R. Kelly's house [Decider Chicago via Idolator]
Read more posts by Lane Brown
Filed Under: kellz, music, r. kelly
 MTV.com | The 'Alice In Wonderland' Trailer: Not As Good As Tom Petty MTV.com After months of speculation and handfuls of crazy-looking production stills, the trailer for "Alice in Wonderland" — one of the most hotly anticipated films of 2010 — finally hit the Internet. The movie stars Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and is ... Disney does Alice in Wonderland game 'Alice' in Blunderland? 'Alice in Wonderland' falls through the Facebook rabbit hole |
Back at rehab, the actress tells Gothamist, she considered switching careers. "But then I tried to picture myself at NASA, and as I tried to explain everything to everyone there, they'd be like, 'Oh, look, it's the girl from American Pie.' So I thought that that would not get me as much respect in the boardroom as I was looking for." Thank God. We love this chick. [Gothamist]
Read more posts by Jessica Pressler
Filed Under: acting, nasa, natasha lyonne, rocket science
The engagement gifts are rolling in for Observer publisher/real estate heir Jared Kushner and his newly-converted bride-to-be, Ivanka Trump. One of gifts the future Mrs. Kushner has received recently, per Urbanite: a "Swarovski crystal-studded mezuzah with leopard spots." If that's what you were thinking of getting her, too, please cross it off your list. [Urbanite]
The following gallery of Twilight–related tattoos is equal parts hilarious, scary and just plain sad. Actually, come to think of it, we think we just came up with a fresh new revenue stream for Borders: Maybe they should consider adding a place to their brand-new teen sections where Twilighters can get some fresh new tatts? Heck, they're already calling it Borders Ink, so why not? [The Cut]
Read more posts by Mark Graham
Filed Under: body art, cries for attention, stephenie meyer, tattoos, twilight
Apparently Anna Wintour isn't holding a party for The September Issue in August out of an irrepressible fondness for cheese-and-cracker platters. She's reportedly "completely controlling" the publicity for the movie. Indeed, it's hard to believe she'd just let a film crew waltz into her office and film the cryptic inner-workings of Vogue without some conditions, even though she said that's how it went. Remember, this is a woman so conscious of her image she said she only wore jeans to work for the first time at the Sundance screening of The September Issue in January. And, technically, that wasn't even work because she wasn't editing a magazine while she was on that red carpet now was she? Or was that work? Hm. [NYDN]
Read more posts by Amy Odell
Filed Under: anna wintour, movies, september issue, wintour wonderland
The trailer for The Infected starring Chris “Kirk” Pine is on the web, and man, it is one crazy, original idea — in the future, an infectious disease has ravaged humankind, forcing the uninfected to fend for themselves by quarantining themselves and traveling the country avoiding aggressive, diseased Christopher Melonis. I wonder how many DAYS LATER it takes place after the disease broke, forcing the survivors to take a STAND? Oops, keep leaning on Capslock, my bad.
Although honestly, it does look pretty awesome — it’s like the trailer has INFECTED me with intrigue!
AP - Esther is unfailingly polite, a sensitive painter and pianist, a vision of traditional feminine charm in her prim dresses and bows. But this 9-year-old also has a way with a hammer and a handgun and knows a thing or two about arson and destruction of evidence.
Martha MacCallum may look like just another cutesy blonde anchor on Fox News. But it seems she has a darker side, too. A tipster tells us MacCallum threw quite the tantrum yesterday at a parking garage around the corner from the studios of Fox News when she turned up with her daughter in tow and her BMW wasn't waiting for her with the keys in the ignition. The outrage!
Infuriated that someone of her importance wasn't being treated with the the respect normally given to a B-list cable news anchors, our tipster heard her shout at the attendant, "Do you know who I am? Do you have any clue? I'm on Fox News!"
MacCallum dressed down the garage employee for a several more minutes as her teenage daughter—who looked a bit nonplussed about the meltdown—stood by. Eventually, she gave up on her war on inconsiderate parking attendants, jumped into the BMW SUV, and screeched off—leaving the garage personnel looking a bit confused.
Maybe the parking attendants prefer to get their news from CNN?
Three years ago, when designer Vincent Flumiani began his new line, Caulfield Preparatory, it was under the influence of J.D. Salinger and a longing to write his own story of self-discovery. The first men’s collection, for fall 2009, is based on a story Flumiani wrote about a young man who runs away on various adventures around the world. Not unlike the designer’s own past, the hero takes off after school, driving across the country and living out of his car. “I wanted to take classic, preppy clothes like the wool blazer or corduroy suit and make them more rebellious and more rumpled than the originals,” Flumiani explains. “This first collection is Chapter One of my story,” he says, “In Chapter Two — spring 2010 — the hero sets sail from New York and so that collection has a more nautical slant.” The spring line, which previewed this past week in NYC, includes several sailor-striped pieces, soft, thick-knit sweaters and shirts with anchor-stamped second buttons. It’s those special buttons, along with details like plaid lining and removable crest patches that separate Caulfield Preparatory as a standout new line. The label, which will be sold by Bloomingdale's, Odin, Kesner, Oak and RevolveClothing.com starting in August, is slim-fitting, tailored and well-constructed. The look is certainly preppy, but the distressed fabrics and relaxed look make it stylish and easy to wear. Along with each piece, from the perfectly wrinkled button-up shirts to the hand-designed, worn-in tees, comes a pocket-sized reprint of that collection’s chapter, so the buyer can follow the travels of Flumiani’s character. “The writing actually inspires the collection and not the other way around,” he says. “In the end, it will be a lot harder for me to end the story than to design the clothing!” Check out some of our favorite pieces from the fall 2009 and spring 2010 collections.
Read more posts by Doria Santlofer
Filed Under: caulfield preparatory, designers, slideshow, talent scout
A Long Island resident named Bryant Neal Vinas, 26, has been charged with firing rockets at a U.S. military base in Afghanistan while working with Osama bin Laden's Al Qaeda terrorist network. According to the Times, Vinas worked at a car wash in Patchogue as recently as 2005 (you know, the train stop where you get off to go to Fire Island?). It was on Long Island that he converted to Islam at a local mosque. He eventually moved to Afghanistan to help the terrorist organization, teaching them about the Long Island Rail Road and the New York City transit system. For much of 2008, he received military training from the group. He went by the names Ben Yameen al-Kanadeea and Bashir al-Ameriki (really?) at times and participated in the attack on an American base in 2008. He was arrested not long after in Peshawar, Pakistan. It's reported that he is cooperating with interrogators and is a key witness in two European terrorism trials.
Long Island Man Charged in Attack on U.S. Base in Afghanistan [NYT]
Read more posts by Chris Rovzar
Filed Under: afghanistan, international intrigue, long island, military, patchogue
We'll admit with only the slightest bit of reticence that we're still occasionally plagued by nightmares brought on by the terrifying Alice in Wonderland stills that were released a few weeks ago. However, after viewing the trailer for the Tim Burton joint that's scheduled to be released in March 2010, we feel as if there is not nearly as much pants-shitting potential in this film as we had initially feared. ... As you have come to expect from any of Burton films, the teaser is full of fantastical (and, at times, phantasmagorical) images, including Tweedledee and Tweedledum getting scooped up by the talons of some sort of winged bird of prey and a more-cute-than-scary first look at the computer-generated Cheshire Cat. Of course, we also get our first taste of the strangely sexless Johnny Depp's performance as the Mad Hatter, which is punctuated by yet another variation of Depp's British accent. All that said, the quick shots of Helena Bonham Carter's freaky-deaky Red Queen will likely result in us falling asleep this evening in the glow of our nightlight.
Alice in Wonderland Movie Trailer - Teaser Trailer [IGN]
Read more posts by Mark Graham
Filed Under: alice in wonderland, alice in wonderland 3-d, anne hathaway, helena bonham carter, johnny depp, movies, tim burton, trailer mix
Tosin Abasi is on tour with the heavy metal band he plays in, Born of Osiris. On stage he wears all-black, but when he's not working, he likes classic men's formalwear. The day our Video Look Book cameras caught him he wore a fitted vest from a thrift store and carried a camel leather bag he bought for half-price at Marshall's. He also wore women's shorts from Banana Republic and a vintage Schiaparelli hat his girlfriend gave him. "Actually I had dreadlocks and I cut them and I was like, 'What the fuck do I do with my hair now?' And she was like, 'You should have this hat.' So I’ve been wearing it every day.” Watch the Video Look Book to find out where he got his pink paisley scarf.
Read more posts by Jonah Green
Filed Under: banana republic, designers, marshalls, schiaparelli, video look book, vintage
• Why did Janice Min leave Us? It was about money, reports WWD, which explains that given the economy, Jann Wenner wasn't prepared to offer her the $2 million a year she's been collecting. Min is denying it. [WWD, NYDN]
• Dan Rather’s $70 million lawsuit against CBS is back on track. [NYT, WSJ]
• McKinsey has been retained by Condé Nast to do the sort of "rethinking" and "realigning" that the consulting firm gets paid enormous sums to do. And while it isn't the first time McKinsey has been in the building—they were hired by Condé in 2001—this time employees are totally freaking out. [NYO]
• One title that is doing well: Food Network Magazine, apparently. [CNY]
• ESPN's Erin Andrews was secretly videotaped in the nude while staying at a hotel. Now an ESPN employee is said to have been behind it. [NYDN, AP]
• Sam Raimi is directing a movie based on the World of Warcraft game. [NYT]
• The downturn isn't having much of an impact on Apple: The company announced sales were up 12 percent for the most recent quarter. [BN]
• Moving to the web is a very "difficult" transition for old-media types who are in their 50s to make, explains Tina Brown, age 55. [ChiTrib]
• Morgan Spurlock is going back to the well and released an "original graphic novel" that will serve as a companion to Supersize Me. [THR]
• Lou Dobbs is still the same racist blowhard he's always been. [LAT]
Namely: He's had to register as a sex offender, he's facing multiple lawsuits, he's out tens of millions of dollars due to the financial crisis, and someone is already accusing him of running a Ponzi scheme. Plus, he's put on some poundage, due to the intake of Pop-Tarts and "meat sticks," and cannot for the life of him remember where he put his red wig. You know what we bet would help him relax a little? A massage.
Read more posts by Jessica Pressler
Filed Under: jeffrey epstein, massage enthusiasts, palm beach
Ladies and gentlemen, unquestionably the biggest celebrity tragedy of 2009:
Gidget, the Chihuahua best known for her Taco Bell ad campaign, died from a stroke on Tuesday night at age 15.
“She made so many people happy,” says Gidget’s trainer, Sue Chipperton.
The mostly retired actor lived out her days laying in the sun…and entertaining at shoots when her trainer brought her along. “Gidget,” says Chipperton, “always knew where the camera was.”
Interesting – that’s the same compliment directors usually give Keanu Reeves (BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!! Seven high fives!)
A memorial for Gidget the Chihuahua has already been planned, with Al Sharpton set to speak for 75 minutes, John Mayer to cover a John Lee Hooker blues song that includes the word “dog,” numerous choreographed ballads performed by twenty random people on one stage, and a general willful ignorance of the Chihuahua’s questionable personal life.
Also, to blow your mind a little, did you know the dog was voiced by Carlos Alazraqui, aka Garcia from Reno 9-1-1? Now your mind has been blown. But feel free to selfconsciously declare that you knew that in the comments.
The irascible New York Post movie columnist Lou Lumenick started off a blog post about the potential casting of Cameron Diaz in the Green Hornet movie with the following brutal slam: "So how much much of the special effects budget for The Green Hornet is going to be spent making the aging bad actress Cameron Diaz a credible love interest for the nine-years-younger Seth Rogen in the title role?" [emphasis ours] We're fairly certain someone's got a slap to the face coming their way. [NYP via MCN]
Read more posts by Mark Graham
Filed Under: beef, cameron diaz, green hornet, lou lumenick, ouch, seth rogen
Even when this dude is singing about killing himself and his ex-girlf, we have to admit: He remains adorable. The handfuls of kitty tissues he’s holding are not hurting his cause either. Seriously, if the star of this video is reading this: Poke me on Friendster. Beep me if you have to. I’ll be waiting. (Yes, that’s a threat.)
Via my source for all things joyful, Buzzfeed and The Outside Joke.
SKIN
• Think your kid sister is obsessed with R-Patz? These fans take it to another level with tattoos of signatures, quotes, bites, and the ultimate: Edward's face. [Bella Sugar, Geekologie]
• Scientists are finally putting the human genome project to good use and studying aging. (We kid.) Apparently, how you age all depends on your genes. But you knew that already. [NYDN]
• Need yet another reason to quit smoking? It causes acne. [Examiner]
MAKEUP
• The recession claims more jobs: Avon is laying off 1,200 and closing an Ohio plant, as part of a restructuring plan. [WWD]
• Rosebud Salve is launching its first new flavor in one hundred years: Mocha Salve. [Nylon]
• Shu Uemura's Tokyo Kamon Girls Cleansing Oils hit stores this week. [Style File/Beauty Counter]
• Two lash-extending companies are heading to court over copyright issues. One is called Xtended Beauty, the other, Xtreme Lashes, and someone stole the other's tagline, allegedly. [AP]
Read more posts by Amina Akhtar
Filed Under: avon, beauty, beauty marks, makeup, rosebud salve, shu uemura, tattoos
"Camels don't much like to be milked. Camels can be cantankerous, and persuading them to give up their milk can be part chore, part art. Camel experts say the animals are often ticklish around their udders and, without proper training, might lie down in the middle of being milked." We learn the oddest things from the Wall Street Journal. [WSJ]
Read more posts by Jessica Pressler
Filed Under: a thing we learned today, animals, CAMELS!!!!, odd things
"I look like a fat Jodie Foster when I [shave]."—Zach Galifianakis [MovieFone]
"I really liked her but she was very quiet and didn't speak much. I think she was a bit shy."—Rubina Ali on meeting Nicole Kidman [Guardian UK]
"Really? I'm well preserved."—Julia Roberts on being told it's been 20 years since Pretty Woman [Female First]
"The strangling scene was also very painful. That felt like a very long struggle for me. And that is where, for the first time, I saw a little glimpse of pleasure in Lars's eyes. I wasn't sure I wanted to see that. But at the end of it Lars came up to me and said, 'I know you feel very bad, Charlotte. But all my actors always feel like that.'"—Charlotte Gainsbourg on working with Lars von Trier on Antichrist [Female First]
"Watchmen is an entirely different experience: it punishes the audience. It says: 'Oh you like the Comedian? Oh, he's a rapist, by the way.' From an intellectual standpoint that's fun to do, but its offputting if you're there to enjoy a movie that's supposed to be a superhero movie."—Zack Snyder [Guardian UK]
"I also hadn't prepared for an older audience, but people with gray hair were reading it. That was unsettling because of all the cursing in the book. I was like, 'Oh no, Uncle Fred is going to know I swear!'"—Dave Eggers on A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius [Time]
Read more posts by Emma Pearse
Filed Under: charlotte gainsbourg, dave eggers, julia roberts, quote machine, rubina ali, zach galifianakis, zack snyder
Things may be all hunky-dory at Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase now that both firms announced hugley profitable second quarter profits. The same can't be said for Morgan Stanley, though. The bank posted a $1.26 billion loss for the second quarter today, but as is the case with so many things on Wall Street, you should not expect any of the execs at Morgan Stanley to feel the sting: The firm set aside 72 percent of the $5.9 billion it collected in during the second quarter for compensation and benefits. "It was a very good quarter to be a Morgan Stanley employee," said one analyst. "I'm not so sure it was so good to be a Morgan Stanley shareholder." [Bloomberg]
So Goldman Sachs bought back the stock-purchase warrants it gave the government as part of the TARP deal last fall. The $1.1 billion, plus the $318 million in dividends the firm paid to the federal government earlier this year, means that, overall, taxpayers made a 23 percent return on their investment in Goldman, the company pointed out in a press release. Party! On the face of it, it's a decent deal: If we are getting this right, $1.1 billion is more than double what the shares are worth now (around $450 million, based on this morning's share price of $160). But then again, it's far less than what they would be worth if the government held onto them longer. So while Goldman is making nice to the taxpayer, they're not exactly being obsequious.
Well, not with their wallets, anyway:
"This return is reflective of the government's assistance, which benefited the financial system, our firm, and our shareholders," said Lloyd C. Blankfein, chairman and CEO. "We are grateful for the government efforts and are pleased that this additional money can be used by the government to revitalize the economy, a priority in which we all have a common stake."
Anyway. Frankly, from a completely detached standpoint, good for Goldman. Why should they allow the American people to continue to rake in returns on their investment with one hand while repeatedly slapping them in the face with the other?
Goldman Sachs Pays $1.1 Billion for Treasury Warrants [Bloomberg]
Read more posts by Jessica Pressler
Filed Under: business, goldman sachs, goldman SACKS is more like it, lloyd blankfein
The trailer for the most highly anticipated movie on Earth, Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, is upon us. The movie is scheduled for release in March of 2010, but no matter: The studio has still pulled out all the CGI’d stops to whet the palates of cinematic geeks the world over.
Our thoughts? It’s definitely got a certain Jumanji-ness to it, what with the same technology used in those Iron Jay sketches to create Helena Bonham Carter’s huge head. But putting our Haters Gonna Hate Gif on pause for a moment, we will also add that as usual, Johnny Depp will save the day. This will be one of those big screen adventures that will either be a visual masterpiece, like The Matrix, or the devil’s acid trip, like Speed Racer. Either way, we’re there. You?
This week, Barneys unveiled windows of bloodied mannequins. The idea was probably to showcase clothes that shoppers would want to be caught dead in, as the saying goes. However, the displays (which looked onto not the street but the vestibule) have been removed. Barneys creative director Simon Doonan said the displays were installed while he was out of town, and he had them removed yesterday after reporters called to ask him about them. Doonan is all for creativity — and Barneys windows are consistently some of the best on Madison — but said "this clearly crossed the line." Apparently some shoppers were confused and some were appalled. Racked wrote they were "curiously in love with the idea." We are too. After all, we see more appalling things just walking around New York every day. Like window displays in sex shops, piles of garbage that are bigger than our entire apartment, random dudes shamelessly ogling the breasts of strangers, and toe rings (why?). Some red paint splatters on a vestibule window? That's nothing.
Barneys NY removes killer window display [AP]
In the Window: Barneys Dresses In Which To Be Caught Dead [Racked]
Read more posts by Amy Odell
Filed Under: barneys, simon doonan, window shopping
Our friends at The Playlist have been doing some excellent detective work on the soundtrack for next year's Michael Cera–starring Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, based on Bryan Lee O'Malley's comic book series which features several made-up bands. Using all available info, they've previously deduced that real-life Canadian groups Metric and Broken Social Scene would fill the roles of SP's fictional Clash at Demonhead and Crash & the Boys (respectively). Today, reading into a new, name-droppy interview with Nigel Godrich, the movie's musical director, they speculate that Beck will contribute the music for Sex Bob-omb, the alt-country-tinged garage band in which Scott Pilgrim (Cera) plays bass. And they're right! We heard the exact same thing from a pretty reliable source. Commence excitement!
Beck Contributing Original Music To 'Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World' Soundtrack [Playlist]
Read more posts by Lane Brown
Filed Under: awesome, beck, bryan lee o'malley, comics, michael cera, movies, music, nigel godrich, scott pilgrim, scott pilgrim vs. the world
EVENTS
• Attend a party at the Gramercy Housing Works outpost to celebrate the thrift shop's collaboration with Paper magazine. Fashion editors at the mag are styling the windows and choosing sale items. 157 E. 23rd St., nr. Lexington Ave.; 6–9. RSVP here.
• Scope out the Vera Wang bridal trunk show at Saks. 611 Fifth Ave., at 50th St., fifth fl. (212-940-2269); Th–S (10–8).
SALES
STARTING TOMORROW
• Spring 2009 merchandise is up to 70 percent off at the Billy Reid sale. The Menswear Blazer for women is $285 (originally $475), the Tuscumbia Button Down is $54 (originally $155), and samples for men and women are $20 to $100. Bourbon and Southern fried chicken will be served. Through 7/26. 54 Bond St., nr. Bowery (212-598-9355); noon–9.
• Dresses are $200 to $450, tops are $100 to $250, pants and skirts are $125 to $300, and gowns are less than $1000 at the Doo.Ri sample sale. Select shoes and knits are under $100. Through 7/24. 39 W. 38th St., nr. Fifth Ave.; Th–F (9–6).
• Take 30 to 60 percent off select Jill Stuart collection items at the annual summer sample sale. Through 8/13. 100 Greene St., nr. Prince St., (212-343-2300); Th (noon–7), F (11–5).
ENDING TOMORROW
• Straight- and skinny-leg jeans are $80 (originally $180), bootcut styles are $70 to $90, and one-of-a-kind samples are $50 at the James Jeans sample sale. 500 Greenwich St., nr. Spring St., Ste. 202 (212-221-4603); T–Th (9:30–7:30).
Read more posts by Lauren Murrow
Filed Under: fashion calendar, sales, shopping
The chef in this picture could be mixing some flour. But he could also be using the bowl to store his supply of coke. According to Jason Sheehan, a former chef and food writer, the odds that your next restaurant meal "will be prepared by someone on drugs" is "very high," since "cooks and coke go together like salt and pepper." It's not something they can help, mind you. Chefs are hard-wired to be coke fiends, Sheehan says, since "being a cook or a chef means being in the pleasure business," and is "the sort of person who has a yen for experimentation and excess." So if you're looking for ways to curry favor at your favorite restaurant, bringing a key of coke with you might not be such a bad idea. [TDB]
2009 is halfway done, and while there have been a fair share of annoying movies to come out, we’ve only just begun. Here is a list of the 15 Most Annoying Movies Yet to Come Out in 2009.
15. The Ugly Truth
Stars: Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler
Release: July 24th
IMDB’s Plot: A macho morning TV show correspondent (Butler) makes a bet with his love-challenged producer (Heigl): If his tips on how to land and keep a guy don’t work, he’ll quit the business. But while he coaches her through a fledgling romance, can he avoid falling for her, and vice versa?
Why It Looks Annoying: The answer to the question in that plot summary’s last sentence: Yes. Yes, he can, and she can, and they should. Also, Katherine Heigl. If I could put her and Jordin Sparks in a cement car and push them out into the Atlantic, uhwould.
14. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Stars: Jason Lee, Zachary Levi, Drew Barrymore
Release: Christmas Day
IMDB’s Plot: Plot unknown. Ed. Note: It’s Chipmunks Doin’ Sh*t.
Why It Looks Annoying: Merry Christmas, Universe! Off to get a hysterectomy to ensure that no child ever, ever forces me to sit through this.
Top 13 Most Annoying Movie Releases to Come Out in ‘09 Ahead!
13. Spread
Stars: Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche, Margarita Levieva
Release: August 14th
IMDB’s Plot: In Los Angeles, Nikki (Kutcher) is a sexual grafter who uses his assets to enjoy the city’s richest women and their lifestyle. Soon he finds himself torn between two very different women: Samantha (Heche), a lawyer who gives Nikki more than he’s ever had before, and Heather (Levieva), a waitress and equally savvy grafter in her own right.
Why It Looks Annoying: Wait, Ashton Kutcher plays “a sexual grafter who uses his assets to enjoy the city’s richest women and their lifestyle”? Are they sure the title of this movie isn’t actually A&E Biography: Ashton Kutcher? And as though the movie itself isn’t annoying enough, Ashton’s 4,800 ghost tweets just waiting to be written will be the icing on the shnozzle. Though the name Margarita Levieva is both delicious sounding and possibly a home remedy of some sort.
12. Thirst
Stars: Kang-ho Song, Ok-vin Kim
Release: July 31st
IMDB’s Plot: A failed medical experiment turns a man of faith into a vampire with a taste for more than just blood. Taking a lover, the couple’s desires turn them into mass murderers.
Why It Looks Annoying: “A failed medical experiment turns a man of faith into a vampire…” Vampires? Say no more! I’m sold! (fake laughter) But seriously, movie studios, let’s make a deal: You stop making vampire movies*, and I’ll stop buying senior citizen tickets to every single thing you put out. Deal? Great. *Unless of course it’s a movie about The Count, in which case 7. I will buy 7 tickets.
11. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
Stars: Jeremy Piven, Ving Rhames, David Koechner
Release: August 14th
IMDB’s Plot: Used-car liquidator Don Ready (Piven) is hired by a flailing auto dealership to turn their Fourth of July sale into a majorly profitable event.
Why It Looks Annoying: I hate to rag on a Will Ferrell-produced, Neal Brennan-directed movie, considering both guys are pretty genius, but here goes: It just isn’t trying. Jeremy Piven, taking a huge career 180, plays a fast-talking ace who’s a total ass but no one cares because he’s such a fast-talking ace. It’s like they swapped the racing uniforms from Talladega Nights with short-sleeved button downs, m-bated into a typewriter, and poof: The Goods. Also, going against Hollywood’s racist standards, there is a real Asian guy and he is Asian and Asians.
10. The Final Destination
Stars: Nick Zano, Krista Allen, Andrew Fiscella
Release: August 28th
IMDB’s Plot: After Hunt’s (Zano) premonition of a deadly race-car crash helps saves the lives of his peers, Death sets out to collect those who evaded their fate.
Why It Looks Annoying: So they’re just calling it “The” Final Destination now? Does that mean it’s the final Final Destination? Not likely. I’m sure the next one will just be called Finally, A Destination or Are We There Yet? Yet Being The Destination? or just Great, Another F*cking Destination. Also, what has Death got against C-list actors who managed to evade the porn industry? I say pat em on the sack, Death, don’t put em in a bodybag.
9. Sorority Row
Stars: Briana Evigan, Rumer Willis, Carrie Fisher
Release Date: September 11th
IMDB’s Plot: A group of sorority girls pledge to keep mum on the accidental death of one of their sisters; after graduation, however, they find themselves stalked by a serial killer who seems bent on eliminating anyone who knows their secret.
Why It Looks Annoying: This is the second worst thing to ever happen on September 11th.
8. G-Force
Stars: Will Arnett, Penélope Cruz, Zach Galifianakis
Release: July 24th
IMDB’s Plot: A specially trained squad of guinea pigs is dispatched to stop a diabolical billionaire from taking over the world.
Why It Looks Annoying: Sure, it’s got an incredible cast, one star short of Richard Gere. And yeah, it’s, you know, for kids, but so was the hula hoop in The Hudsucker Proxy, and look how genius that idea turned out to be. But hear this, Hollywood: We’re not just gonna eat up any CGI’d piece of garbage you happen to churn out. And as Intern Zack points out, the Power Rangers already sorta covered this territory. The Power Rangers. If there’s something more annoying than that, we don’t know what it is.
7. Jennifer’s Body
Stars: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody
Release: September 18th
IMDB’s Plot: A cheerleader at a small midwestern high school becomes possessed by a demon and sets out to kill off all the guys in town.
Why It Looks Annoying: This is the second film written by Oscar-winning Juno scribe Diablo Cody. While that right there is reason enough to set your face on fire, let’s take a closer look. Juno starred Ellen Page, improviser of that “shenanigans” line, and an actress who is much less plastic, much smarter, and slightly less annoying (as long as she isn’t singing “Don’t Stop Believing”) than Megan Fox, an actress we can barely stand even when her voice is being drowned out by cacophonous grinding robo-noises.
To be fair, it may be certifiably annoying in 2009, but the fact that this movie features music from Panic at the Disco and Dashboard Confessional proves that it will be the Most Successful Teen Film of 2006.
6. Fame
Stars: Kelsey Grammer, Bebe Neuwirth, Megan Mullally
Release Date: September 25th
IMDB’s Plot: A remake of the 1980s musical centered on the teachers and students at the prestigious New York City High School of Performing Arts.
Why It Looks Annoying: Kelsey Grammer, Bebe Neuwirth, Megan Mullally. Read, repeat. Looking over this movie’s cast — namely Kelsey Grammer and Bebe Neuwirth — gave me a glimmer of hope that this is just an elaborate cover-up for the all new, original blockbuster musical adaptation of Frasier we’ve all been hoping for. In other words, I will see this 6 times at a minimum, but only if it includes this.
5. Capitalism: A Love Story
Stars: Michael Moore
Release: October 2nd
IMDB’s Plot: Documentary filmmaker Michael Moore sets out to uncover the truth behind the current economic crisis with interviews from Wall Street and government insiders.
Why It Looks Annoying: Look out for Michael Moore’s 2010 movie More Like Republi-can’ts, Am I Right, Guys? High-Five.
4. Precious
Stars: Gabourey ‘Gabby’ Sidibe, Mo’Nique, Paula Patton
Release: November 6th
IMDB’s Plot: In Harlem, an overweight, illiterate teen (Sidibe) who is pregnant with her second child is invited to enroll in an alternative school in hopes that her life can head in a new direction.
Why It Looks Annoying: This movie is more annoying on a physical level, as clearly I will weep out every ounce of moisture Did I say annoying? Because what I meant to say was “Holy sh*t, it’s like I forgot how to cry until I saw Precious.” Expect to look like J Tandy upon exiting this film from lack of body hydration.
3. The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Release: November 20th
IMDB’s Plot: When Bella’s blood is shed at her birthday celebration, Edward’s intense reaction to the event causes his parents to pull up stakes and leave Forks, Washington for the sake of the young lovers. Heartbroken, Bella finds a form of comfort in reckless living, as well as an even-closer friendship with Jacob Black (Lautner). Danger in different forms awaits.
Why It Looks Annoying: Please note that the pivotal moment in this movie, according to the trailer, occurs when Kristen Stewart gets a paper cut. A paper cut. Please read that again — here it is: a paper cut – and tell me you honestly want to see this movie. I would much rather see the movie created by comedian, friend and blogger Jon Friedman, called Wolf Teen. It’s about a pack of wolves where one turns into a teen. Wait, f**k, they’re making it now.
2. Brothers
Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman, Tobey Maguire
Release: December 4th
IMDB’s Plot: Sam Cahill (Maguire) returns from being held as a prisoner-of-war in Afghanistan to find that his ex-con brother (Gyllenhaal) has become the man, of sorts, of the household where Sam’s wife, Grace (Portman) had been living under the assumption that she was a widow.
Why It Looks Annoying: The beginning of the trailer starts off as obvious Oscar bait: some slow piano music, Jake Gyllenhaal walking in the snow, quiet flirting over some illegal drugs. It’s all very big-studio-but-still-indie-feeling. But then Tobey Maguire wakes up and suddenly sh*t gets real. And by “real”, we mean it cascades into melodramatic nonsense complete with spine-chilling drum beats before finishing with some slow piano music to remind us that, after all, this is an Oscar movie. Note: We will see it because we live in a world where director Jim Sheridan does no wrong.
1. Bandslam
Stars: Alyson Michalka, Vanessa Hudgens, Gaelan Connell
Release: August 14th
IMDB’s Plot: An outcast (Connell) bonds with the popular girl on campus (Michalka) over their shared love of music, and together they decide to form a rock group and enter their school’s upcoming battle of the bands competition.
Why It Looks Annoying: Here to explain why Bandslam might actually be THE most annoying movie release of 2009 is comedian and MTV writer Anonymous Jones, who had the pleasure of attending an advanced screening and apparently is not allowed to disclose his/her name.
Three Reasons Why Bandslam Is The Most Annoying Film of Either the 20th or 21st Century by Anonymous Jones:
First of all, the name of the band in the film is called “I Can’t Go On, I’ll Go On”. Sort of like “I Didn’t Want to See This Movie, I Saw This Movie”. The second major problem is that there’s a main character who “doesn’t do why.” She doesn’t like any “why” questions. This provides her with all of the annoying qualities of both a poorly written character and a terrible journalist. Lastly, Davie Bowie makes a cameo appearance during which he writes a MySpace message. I Didn’t Just Throw Up, I Just Threw Up.
(With thanks to Intern Zack Mast for his help and humor.)
Julian Tzolov, the former Credit Suisse broker accused of cheating investors out of $4 million and then fleeing the country, pleaded guilty today to securities fraud, conspiracy, wire fraud, and bail-jumping charges. Why did Tzolov slip out of his Fifth Avenue condo and escape to Spain—he was nabbed in lovely Marbella in possession of a fake passport and accompanied by a bodyguard—a move that cost his friends and family the $3 million they put up in bail money? "I panicked your honor. I got scared," Tzolov told a judge shortly before his attorney, Ben Brafman explained that his client "meant no disrespect" by running off and now "recognizes that this was a bad idea." [Bloomberg, NYP]
Other than a ratings boost for America's Got Talent, that is. For the last few days, the Peacock Network has been heavily promoting their "exclusive" sit-down with Susan Boyle, the frumpy spinster who rose to international fame when she appeared on Britain's Got Talent this spring. Not only did she get some face time with Meredith Viera on the Today Show this morning, but NBC is dedicating an hour in their faltering primetime lineup tonight to the person that the Fleet Street tabs dubbed the "Hairy Angel." Which would be all well and good, we suppose, but all indications from this interview point to the fact that she doesn't really have anything new to say.
Let's face it, anyone with access to the internet or who has set a season pass for Oprah knows her entire life story by now, so we're not really sure that we understand the point in rehashing a bunch of things about her that we already knew about her (she has cats, she had a bit of a mental breakdown, blah blah blah). Even when Viera tries to press her on details of the album that she's currently recording for Simon Cowell's label, SuBo stonewalls her. Why all the mystery? It's not like she's recording a secret duet with Lil Wayne or is planning on covering "Birthday Sex", or something that would actually be, you know, interesting. Because if she were, this would certainly be the time to start plugging it. Instead, NBC seems perfectly content to trot out someone whose popularity peaked almost two months ago now in the hopes that her name recognition will help boost their virtually buzzless Idol knockoff.
So what do you think, VultureWatchers? Are you over Susan Boyle? Are you hanging on her every (boring) word? Let us know in the comments!
Susan Boyle On Clinic Stay: I Just Needed To Get Away (VIDEO) [HuffPo]
Read more posts by Mark Graham
Filed Under: america's got talent, eyesores, meredith viera, nbc, susan boyle, tv
I’ve been spending the last couple days pouring over The State DVD with Christmas Morning-like enthusiasm, half-satisfied that the thing finally frickin’ exists and half in disbelief that the thing finally frickin’ exists. Rather than straight-up say “Everyone buy this, obviously”, I’ve attempted to collect my thoughts into something resembling an actual post, which I’ve broken down into the three main general reactions I experienced while watching this DVD:
1) The rush of nostalgia. Almost every sketch that begins, I immediately feel a wave of vague, happy remembrance, and just wonder what I could’ve possibly thought the first time I viewed these episodes (other than just automatically liking anything at that age that wasn’t Full House. Also, I liked Full House)
2) I can’t believe that this aired on MTV in the early 90s. Both content-wise (the “hormones” sketch with a teen couple having sex on a couch that ends with Kerri Kenney masturbating was in the first episode) and even more so absurdity-wise, The State hearkens back to a time when MTV was actually somewhat subversive; I don’t mean that in a bitter “con sarnit, these kids nowadays…” kind of way, but it’s just hard to imagine Monty Python-caliber occasional nonsense and deliberate audience-alienating bits fitting in amongst The Hills and — what else is on the channel now? — Hills spinoffs.
Even Human Giant (which I also love) seems more direct and audience-palatable; The State often just goes for it and doesn’t give a sh*t if you’re not on board. Obviously, Mr. Show was the same way in the late-90s and equally awesome, but Bob and David operated on HBO in a midnight timeslot — hardly the same as repeating “I wanna dip my BALLS in it!!!!” seventeen times in three minutes during basic cable primetime.
3) Objective Awesomeness. All nostalgia, analysis, remembering-stuff, line-quoting, whatever else aside, the sketches are still just really, really funny. The premises are brilliant and well-executed, the characters are memorable, and the running threads throughout the episodes and callback jokes make the DVDs an extremely fulfilling experience, especially for compulsive, completist nerds like myself.
After the jump, my favorite sketch from Season One, which sums up the entire 90s decade in two perfect, jumpcutty minutes:
Kevin Allison in MTV Sports: Golf -
“Alright, we got The A-Team. We got T.J. Hooker. We even got the View-Finder toy. Gentlemen, I need you to think — is there any other thing that has ever existed that we can pillage for a feature film remake?”
“I think we hit ‘em all, sir.”
“Are you sure? There has to be something. Anything! I don’t care how big or small or…”
“Wait — has anyone made a World of Warcraft m–”
[Executive breaks both legs jumping to his feet, can't feel the pain because of the excitement-induced adrenaline, immediately calls up Sam Raimi]:
According to a statement released today by Blizzard Entertainment, popular horror/superhero movie director Sam Raimi will be taking the reins on a live-action film based on the MMORPG World Of Warcraft. Casting, scripting and release date info are all still up in the air, but Raimi is quoted as saying, “At its core, Warcraft is a fantastic, action-packed story. I am thrilled to work with such a dynamite production team to bring this project to the big screen.”
“How did we miss this one for so long??? Dammit, men, we were seconds away from having to actually come up with sh*t.”
“You know, I don’t think anyone’s ever made a Sims movie, right?”
[Everyone explodes]
I believe it was Al Bundy who once said “The things that have been seen cannot be unseen.” Well those words have never rung truer than today, when we discovered the works of Alex Kova: Professional Manimal. That’s right… he’s a professional. As in, he owns gallons of bodypaint and has a retractable penis or “lipstick”.
Mr. Kova’s range is pretty remarkable: No animal is too blood-curdling or terrifying. We’ve put our “favorites” (other “favorites” include “baby genocide” and “double-breasted blazers”) below, and then ask you, the readers, a question: Which Manimal Hybrid Is The Scariest? Yes, there’s even a poll! Get in there.
The Doberman: Some years ago, when I was a teenager, I was instructed to bathe a neighbors’ big black labrador. The dog was sweet as candy, and boy did we have fun: Sudsin’ up, gettin’ the stank out, just having a good ol’ fashioned blast. That is, until I was soaping up the dogs belly and realized it felt kind of like the stomach of a huge, fur-covered man. This brief thought has haunted my waking life. And it looks like it won’t be going anywhere soon, after watching The Doberman, which has managed to articulate this sentiment in ways Rob Zombie never thought possible.
The Nightclub Lion: Ever wanted to know what it would be like to have a jungle lion groind all up on your sh*t when you’re out at a Romanian Rape Nightclub? Question, meet answer:
The Zebra: Like The Doberman, only stripier, and with a giant tail. And pink nostrils. And hooves. Get the paddles, I can’t breathe–
The Jaguar Ever wanted to know what it would be like to have a jaguar groind all up on your sh*t when you’re out at a Romanian Renaissance Fair? No, but really, why is he just hanging out in public places like this? Is this something we need to write our congressman about? I would happily vote for any politician running on an anti-manimal platform:
The Birthday Tiger: Why a video of a man dressed like a human tiger trying to break into someone’s home is called “Birthday Tiger” is one of those queries best left unanswered. This might actually be the least scary one, in the sense that he looks totally ridiculous.
The Great Dane: Great Dane? More like Terrible Dane! (Or is that Taylor Dane?) Sidenote: Terrifying.
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Sugar Ray frontman Mark McGrath looks to the heavens for mid-concert inspiration, then just decides to play “Every Morning” a third time:
Where is this Creed-esque religious catharsis taking place? Find out after the jump:
…That would be a Los Angeles area Best Buy:
Next stop on the tour? Some serious mosh pit action in the Borders cafe when they break out “Fly” as their double-encore.
AP - It isn't hard to guess, from a comedy with a title like "The Answer Man," that the man in question probably doesn't have any answers at all. But the cliches and overly familiar plot points don't end there.
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