In his last show as host, Leno didn't refrain from mocking his network although he's moving to NBC's prime-time schedule this fall Source: FOXNews.com | 30 May 2009 | 5:39 pm
Reuters - Global Internet sensation Susan Boyle competes in the final of "Britain's Got Talent" on Saturday amid signs she is struggling to cope with her sudden rise to stardom and constant media intrusion. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 30 May 2009 | 12:25 pm
AP - Susan Boyle, the Scottish church volunteer whose soaring voice has taken her to TV fame in a matter of weeks, goes into the finals of "Britain's Got Talent" on Saturday as the public wonders if she will crack under the pressure.
AP - Susan Boyle, the Scottish church volunteer whose soaring voice has taken her to TV fame in a matter of weeks, goes into the finals of "Britain's Got Talent" on Saturday as the public wonders if she will crack under the pressure.
Everyone loves a good battle, especially when it involves famous people.
Whether truly feuding or merely fighting for a higher position on our Fanpage Fame Charts, numbers never lie...
The CSI creators are being sued by two people who were used as models for characters on a episode. Aren't these kinds of shows "ripped from the headlines" all the time?
...
They have such high hopes.
Contestants like Lydia here (from The Fashion Show) come on reality shows seeking glory but often get sent packing. While Lydia's safe—for...
Maggie Gyllenhaal first wore this asymmetrical Lanvin gown to the Golden Globes back in January.
But last night, makeup maven Aerin Lauder (heiress to Estée Lauder cosmetics)...
Sex! Botox! Stupid people! Reality TV, in other words. Come and get it!
Daisy De La Hoya found someone even shallower than she is. Your move, Brett Michaels.
The Botox dumping...
AP - It was a homespun farewell for Jay Leno's last show at "Tonight." Celebrities were largely absent and the self-effacing comedian said he wanted to be remembered for the children born to his staffers during his 17-year tenure as the show's second-longest running host.
It was a homespun farewell for Jay Leno's last show at "Tonight." Celebrities were largely absent and the self-effacing comedian said he wanted to be remembered for the children born to his Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 30 May 2009 | 9:41 am
There was no soundtrack for the final scene of pop maestro Phil Spector's criminal case. Spector, 69, said nothing as he was sentenced Friday to 19 years to life in prison for the... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 30 May 2009 | 9:36 am
Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle was tipped to give "the performance of her life" in the final of "Britain's Got Talent" Saturday despite growing fears the pressure may be too much... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 30 May 2009 | 9:23 am
A handout from ITV of Scottish singing sensation Susan Boyle, who is tipped to give "the performance of her life" in the final of "Britain's Got Talent" despite growing fears the pressure may be too much... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 30 May 2009 | 9:23 am
BURBANK, Calif. - Jay Leno wrapped up 17 years as "Tonight" host Friday with jabs at favourite targets, including politicians and his own network and with an unusual touch of sentiment. Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 30 May 2009 | 8:41 am
___ ABC's "This Week" _ Sens. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., and John Cornyn, R-Texas; Ed Gillespie, former Bush White House counselor. ___ CBS' "Face the Nation" _ Sens. Dianne... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 30 May 2009 | 8:09 am
Prince Harry has been all business on his first official trip to the United States, but he'll have an opportunity for fun before wrapping up his two-day visit to New York. On Saturday... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 30 May 2009 | 7:30 am
Singing sensation Susan Boyle had vowed to leave the television show, "Britain's Got Talent," after a hectic week, but has since recanted and will perform at the finale Saturday, a judge for the show said.
AFP - Publishers, booksellers and authors are holding a major annual convention in New York this week as the industry reels from a global recession and readers migrate to digital formats.
Hayden Kho, a doctor and celebrity, listens to his lawyer Lorna Kapunan during a Philippine Senate hearing investigation in Manila Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 30 May 2009 | 4:16 am
Steamy sex videos of a cosmetic surgeon and his celebrity patients indulging in more than the standard nip and tuck have gripped the devoutly Roman Catholic Philippines. Home movies... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 30 May 2009 | 4:16 am
Philippines film actress Katrina Halili wipes away tears as she attends a Philippine Senate hearing Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 30 May 2009 | 4:16 am
Movie starlet Katrina Halili. Steamy sex videos of a cosmetic surgeon and his celebrity patients indulging in more than the standard nip and tuck have gripped the devoutly Roman Catholic Philippines Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 30 May 2009 | 4:16 am
NEW YORK - Ozzy Osbourne has accused former Black Sabbath band mate Tony Iommi in a New York City court of taking over the heavy metal titans' name and costing him royalties from... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 30 May 2009 | 3:15 am
Game Debuted March 13; One Ticket Wins $8.26 Million Jackpot Prize MIDDLETOWN, Pa., May 29 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- One ticket matched seven of the eleven... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 30 May 2009 | 3:14 am
John Travolta is too distraught over the death of his son last January to help promote the movie he shot with Denzel Washington last summer, Washington said Friday.
E! Online - A transcript of the 911 call made when Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter was discovered unconscious in the family's home indicates the child's mom "did all she could when this tragic accident occurred," police tell E! News.
A transcript of the 911 call made when Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter was discovered unconscious in the family's home indicates the child's mom "did all she could when this...
A grieved paparazzo has sued the Circus star for rolling over his foot with her Mercedes...
"The more I talk about him, the more I realize I hate that man. Yeah, no one likes him. Awful, awful human being."
Or so Will Ferrell says he feels about Man vs. Wild adventurer...
After fifteen years running the New York Observer, today is Peter Kaplan's final day on the job. He'll start Monday as creative director of Condé Nast Traveler. Kaplan groomed countless young journalists in his years at the Observer, many of whom now populate the city's more remunerative newsrooms. Jesse Oxfeld spoke to a number of Observer alums to create an oral history of the Kaplan era.
Frank DiGiacomo, 1993–2004: Graydon Carter, and then Susan Morrison, first turned the Observer into — let me think of a Tom Wolfeian phrase — this salmon-colored Manhattan-flake streamline baby. But it was Peter, when he took over in 1994, who got behind the wheel and said, "Lemme open this thing up and see how fast I can get it going." He had real ambitions for the paper — not that Graydon and Susan didn't — but Peter really looked at it as, What can I do with this thing? How can I take this thing to the next level?
Graydon Carter, founding Observer editor: Peter is a great editor, and I thought that he would probably last a year or two years with Arthur Carter. I think it's one of his great accomplishments that he managed more than a dozen years with Arthur. He produced an original and colorful or vibrant chronicle of the last fifteen years in this city. My version was the black-and-white sketch of what he did, but he gave it color and vibrancy that I never got a chance to.
Warren St. John, 1996–1998: He has a way of taking the seemingly small changes in Manhattan media or Washington media or business and casting them in this grandiose, epic, novelistic light. You see it in the headlines in the Observer, but you also see it in the assignments. There's rich narratives in the seemingly mundane, and he'd always tell us that the Observer is a kind of ongoing novel about New York City.
DiGiacomo: It soon became evident that Peter was very much a disciple of Clay Felker. And as a result of that, he wanted the paper to be about power. That became the mantra.
Terry Golway, 1990–2004: When Susan Morrison had left and Peter had not yet come on, he left a message for me, saying, "Look, you don't know me, but I want you to know, I read you in the paper, and" — and can still hear his words, saying this — "I'm a big fan." But then his first two weeks, I was trying to get in to see Peter for the longest time, but he was constantly getting distracted. At one point I finally got my audience, and I was about to go into his office, I got a phone call from him, "Terry, I can't, er, something's come up, and I can't make it." And I slammed down the phone and I kicked the garbage can across the room.
Andrew Goldman, 1998–2000: I was coming from Boston, and I was sort of in awe of the newspaper, and I wanted the job more than anything. And because I couldn't take a day off from work or something, Peter invited me to come to Mamaroneck on a Saturday to interview with him. And he showed me around Mamaroneck and we looked at the water and we had a beautiful day together, and I loved him, and at the end of it, he looked me in the eye and he said, "I want you to come work at my newspaper," and he shook my hand. And I left there, and I couldn't get him on the phone for three months after that.
Alex Kuczynski, 1994–1997: I was like 23 or 24, and I kept sending these blind pitches to the masthead, signing them Alex Kuczynski. And, finally, after a year, Peter apparently stands up in a meeting and says, "Somebody call this guy Kuczynski." And I just love the fact that he had faith in some random person who just kept sending stuff over the transom every week for a year.
Rebecca Traister, 2000–2003: What's that thing they do in academia, when somebody retires and they put together a book of people's memories of him? There's a specific German word for that volume — and I always wanted to do one of those of all the people who thought they had a job at the Observer after multiple interviews with Peter Kaplan who then arrived for their first day of work and discovered that in fact they did not have a job. You used to hear from so many people these stories about, "Oh yeah, Peter Kaplan, I had like fifteen interviews with him, and then I showed up for work and it turned out I wasn't really hired."
Goldman: Peter Kaplan's assistant sat in front of his office, and reporters, being what they are, you'll kind of look over the shoulder and see the messages. And I remember five days straight there was a message from Walter Isaacson. And he kept calling and he kept calling, and finally: "Walter Isaacson called again. He says it's not bad."
St. John: I remember one evening when I was writing "Off the Record," I had to write a front-page feature about Geraldo Rivera and how his career was being resurrected by the Lewinsky scandal. And I couldn’t imagine how in the world I was going to write this piece, I wasn’t feeling it at all. It was one of these late Monday nights at the Observer, and I went into Kaplan’s office, and he closed the door, and he sat me down, and he basically had me convinced after twenty minutes that I was writing Armies of the Night, that I was writing one of the great snapshots of our time and culture. He’s amazing in that way.
Kuczynski: I wrote a cover story about going to have an upper colonic, back when all the social people were having high colonics. And, truly, it was the most revolting experience of my life. And Peter was like, "You've got to do it for the good of the paper." And I was like, "I will have a tiny man put a garden hose up my ass for the good of the paper, yes!"
DiGiacomo: When Princess Diana died in 1997, I was in California interviewing Bridget Fonda for a freelance piece. I was also recovering from Lyme disease, and the antibiotics I was taking were almost worse than the disease itself. But Peter figured that if I was well enough to travel for some other publication, then I could write a cover story for the Observer. I got back on Sunday and knew that he wanted me to write an essay that tied Di’s death to the age of fame for Wednesday’s paper. But by that Monday, it seemed to me that everything there was to say about Princess Diana’s death had been said, and I couldn’t find anything new to write. The problem is, I waited until the last minute to tell Kaplan this. But instead of going to find another writer, he did a remarkable thing. He shut his door for like four hours — there were people waiting outside to get him to sign off on other aspects of the issue — and he just banged out this brilliant piece that is one of the best things the Observer ever published, and one of the smartest stories written about Diana in the aftermath of her death. As they used to say in my hometown, he totally knocked my dick in the dirt.
Jason Gay, 2000–2004: His gift for headlines is unmatched. Do you remember the piece George Gurley wrote about Ann Coulter, where she joked about Timothy McVeigh neglecting to bomb the Times? Peter stared at the screen for hours trying to come up with the exact right line. We'd settled on a pretty lame headline, but at the last minute, Peter's face looked like it was about to explode. "COULTERGEIST!" he said. It ran across the front page, one word. As usual, it was perfect.
St. John: When I was at the Observer, they would print out the stories on this laser printer, put glue on the back of them, and cut them with an X-Acto knife, and paste them onto this board, and put them in this suitcase that would be taken to the printing plant. So there were these nights of sitting around in the room around the laser printers, drinking beer, or worse, and gluing the paper together. And just barely making the deadline for the printing presses. There was this incredible camaraderie, and competitiveness, a joie de vivre about a racy scoop. It felt a lot more like the movie about a newspaper than any other place I’ve worked.
Goldman: I remember the office being just a very anxious place — although part of that was probably just the overcrowding in the old townhouse on East 64th Street. Whenever you hear about chimp overcrowding, primate overcrowding, and then suddenly they start pulling each other's arms off, I always think about the New York Observer. It was many privileged, overindulged, underpaid chimps around computers and eventually wanting to kill each other.
Goldman: Kaplan is a great teacher. Wednesday-morning meetings were just — they were terrifying, because you didn't want to be caught with your pants down. There was never any yelling or histrionics, but there was this fear of him being disappointed. And ultimately a fear everybody had at the Observer — which never really came to pass — of getting fired.
Nick Paumgarten, 1995–2000: Has anybody talked about his silences? Sometimes he just goes, "Ahhhhhhhhh," and stops. And sometimes he's thinking about something else; sometimes he's thinking, "I don't know what I'm going to do with this pathetic reporter who's earnestly asking for help"; I think sometimes he's thinking about actually trying to solve your problems, or his own problems — which often were the same thing. But it's one of those things, where you hear the tick of the clock, and time just sort of slows down. There's something magical about time in that office — it just sort of slows down. Was it Miles Davis who said that the white spaces around the notes are as important as the notes themselves? Sometimes those silences made the stuff that came out after the silences that much better.
Gay: There are certain things you can talk to Peter for hours and hours about. Like, if Julia Roberts is on Letterman — he could give you an hour on that alone. You might think that it's not the best use of time to listen to the editor-in-chief of a newspaper rhapsodize about Julia Roberts on Letterman for an hour. But it is a brilliant hour.
Kuczynski: When I left for the Times, he kept smacking his forehead. "Alex! Alex! Alex! You're making a huge mistake!" He has this habit of smacking his forehead. "You'll never write in the first person. You'll never write about yourself. You'll never write with color. You'll never use any interesting language. Or at least I highly doubt it." But then he gave me a going-away party, and he gave me an Olivetti typewriter. And I still have it.
Gay: There were a handful of running pranks on Peter, almost all of them performed by Peter Stevenson and Jim Windolf. One involved Jim pretending to be Peter's kids' piano instructor and demanding payment immediately for past lessons. In another they pretended to be a tree company out in Westchester, calling about a tree that had crashed into Peter's roof. They'd make Peter's assistant barge into a meeting and get him to take the call. And Peter would always wind up thinking it was a pretty good joke.
DiGiacomo: Once Stevenson and Windolf secreted something like a five-pound box of salt in Kaplan's briefcase to see if he would notice. The thing about Peter was that, except for his tie, he was extremely consistent in terms of his dress. He always wore khaki pants, a blue oxford shirt, a trench coat when the weather called for it, and he lugged around this leather satchel. I think Stevenson and Windolf were attempting to determine whether Kaplan actually looked at anything in that briefcase when he went home at night, and you should ask them how long it took for Peter to find the salt, but I think he schlepped that briefcase around for a while before he discovered it.
Gay: I remember Alexandra Jacobs and Deborah Schoeneman got him to come to a party by himself in Brooklyn on a weekend. They were so excited, like they'd caught an alligator in the bathtub. And there he was, in the middle of the party, in khakis and his tie tucked into his blue oxford shirt.
Kuczynski: Everybody was just secretly in love with him. At least, I think all the women were madly in love with him. You gotta love a guy in a blue oxford.
Gay: Alexandra Jacobs says that the Observer exists as a musical that Peter writes in his head — he does all the casting, there are all kinds of crazy protagonists and antagonists, and crises real and manufactured, but in the end, everyone goes home entertained and happy. I don't think there's a better way to describe the Peter Kaplan era.
Capt. Richard Phillips, master of the MV Maersk Alabama participates in a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on Capitol Hill in April 2009 in Washington, DC. The attempted hijacking of a cargo... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 29 May 2009 | 11:06 pm
'Tis a dark day for Black Sabbath.
Frontman Ozzy Osbourne has filed a federal trademark-infringement suit against fellow founding member Tony Iommi, accusing the guitarist of...
Can you feel the excitement? No? That's probably because tonight's Tonight Show handoff — after which Conan O'Brien's show will move ahead by an hour, from 12:30 to 11:30, and Jay Leno (following a summerlong break) will get a new one at 10 that'll be exactly the same as his current one — is basically no more momentous than the average daylight saving time: it'll screw everybody up for a week, and then things will pretty much go back to normal. Though Conan will be the only guest on the Tonight Show couch tonight, we don't imagine he'll make things interesting by being forthright about how he actually feels about Leno's new show, or the fact that the two will soon be competing for L.A.-based guests. We expect a couple of montages, a polite, awkwardness-free interview, and what should ostensibly be Leno's Tonight Show sign-off, except it'll really just be the announcement of his upcoming four-month vacation. Then musical guest James Taylor will sing a song and Kevin Eubanks will pull back his skin, revealing to viewers that he is, in fact, the Terminator. We'd watch Letterman, but it's a repeat.
The last season of men's shows wasn't the best ever. Critics and retailers complained of a lack of innovation on the Milan runways, where the clothes were largely black and drab and, in some cases, just odd (Gianfranco Ferré's funnel collars, anyone?). Things were better in Paris, where Lanvin presented a standout collection, Alexander McQueen showed a riff on Sweeney Todd, and Gareth Pugh floored critics with his first spectacular menswear effort. Hopefully we'll see more creativity in Milan and Paris for the spring 2010 shows next month. The calendar already looks promising. The number of new designers showing outnumbers those who have dropped out. Alexis Mabille will show menswear separately from women's for the first time. New York–based Tim Hamilton will make his Paris Debut. Issey Miyake will stage his first men's show in years (he's been doing presentations for menswear). We hope the clothes are just as exciting as the lineup. And if not, well, hey, John Galliano will never disappoint us.
As we head into the weekend, some grim newspaper numbers make all the more important the results of yesterday's hushed-up meeting among major industry leaders. That news and more in our daily roundup.
• The Newspaper Association of America has reported sinking newspaper revenues, a totally predictable symptom of the print crisis we may have mentioned. "The total revenues for papers in the U.S. dropped 28.3 percent during the first quarter of the year, down to $6.6 billion from $9.2 billion during the same period last year." [FishbowlNY/Mediabistro]
• The editor of Granta, a literary magazine, has resigned after less than a year. [ArtsBeat/NYT]
• CNN entertainment correspondent Lola Ogunnaike hasn't had her contract renewed and is leaving the network. [TVNewser/Mediabistro]
Playbill - Kelly McGillis is scheming Regina Giddens, and Julia Duffy is sister-in-law Birdie Hubbard in Pasadena Playhouse's new production of Lillian Hellman's The Little Foxes opening May 29 after previews from May 22 in California. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 29 May 2009 | 10:47 pm
Try as we might, it seems there's just no escaping Lady Gaga. Just this week, she landed herself on the cover of Rolling Stone, her song "Just Dance" became the fifth song in history to cross the four-million mark in paid downloads, and, well, she inspired some elementary-school–aged YouTube star to sing about "bluffin' her muffin." After such a great week, you think she'd be extra excited to start seeing the reactions to her brand-new, ridiculously overindulgent, seven-and-a-half-minute music video directed by Jonas Åkerlund. While not nearly as depraved as his legendary video for the Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" (which was banned from MTV), Åkerlund's collaboration with Gaga features dead bodies, people getting thrown off of balconies, and Gaga Frenching three of her (female) clones. Alas, Gaga is not happy that you're watching this video right now; her most recent tweet simply reads: "Stop leaking my motherfucking videos."
The good news is sale declines seem to be leveling off, kind of like dwindling sales of men's underpants. So maybe Alan Greenspan's manty theory — that sales of men's underwear dip in downturns and increase in boom times — is holding water! Or maybe a Tiffany Index would have been just as accurate as a manty index, but Greenspan just chose men's underwear because it's more fun to talk about.
The search has begun for a masochist executive to replace Edward Liddy, who came out of retirement to step in as CEO and chairman of beleaguered insurance giant AIG back in September and is now creeping back to it after somewhat rocky ride. In an interview with Reuters this week, Liddy described the sort of person he thought should replace him:
Liddy said he expected the person picked as chairman to be someone familiar with the workings of government, while the CEO post should go to someone willing to commit up to five years to the job.
Right? Like, they wouldn't want to hire some guy who would just waltz into the company for like eight months, and then be like "I'm out of here" when things get a little heavy. They deserve someone who cares about them. Someone who's man enough to stick around when times get tough. Who's going to wake up every morning excited to see them, and say, like, "Hey, I wonder what exciting new adventure AIG is going to bring me today?" Who's going to do the dishes because they want to do the dishes. AIG needs a man who is mature enough to commit to a long-term relationship. Maybe even sign a contract or something, Liddy doesn't know. All he knows is that it's time for AIG to go away from his window, go away at its chosen speed, because it ain't him, babe.
SKIN
• Tyrese Gibson told InStyle magazine he loves a well-inked woman: "Tattoos are sexy. I love my name on a woman; it lets me know I'm serious." [NYP]
MAKEUP
• Another ugly result of the recession: Revlon will eliminate 400 jobs with its new plan to restructure the company, which will cut costs by $30 million. [Crains]
HAIR
• Hair-replacement surgeons in Hollywood say actors are getting hair transplants at a younger age, as early as their late twenties. At least they're thinking ahead. [Answer Bitch/E]
• A British study says blondes are "25 percent more likely to strike out on a first date" due to bad behavior. Hair color isn't to blame entirely, but the reasoning is that they act "according to stereotype." [Daily Beauty Reporter/Allure]
"The awards, celebrating their 59th year, were presented at a black-tie dinner for the first time at Cipriani's Wall Street in Manhattan, on a day when the Dow Jones industrial average fell to its lowest level in five years. Harold Augenbraum, executive director of the National Book Foundation, said that despite the economic climate, there were nearly 700 attendees, 50 more than last year, paying up to $12,000 per table." New York Times, November 19, 2008
Sundance Film Festival
"The good news for the Sundance Film Festival is people still are snapping up movie tickets despite the sour economy. The bad news for the festival's ski-resort setting and possibly for filmmakers selling movies is that the independent-cinema gathering gets under way with the prospect of thinner crowds on the street and a penny-wise mind-set." AP, January 15
Grammy Awards
"The recession means belt-tightening for many, but few in the music industry are having to hock their sequins or gold grillz. Not yet, anyway, if the red carpet arrivals at last night's Grammy Awards are any indication." Newsday, February 9
New York Armory Show
"The signs are literally everywhere in this year's edition of the Armory Show, emblazoned on prints, spelled out in lights, carved in stone: 'Capitalism Kills.' 'Everyone Is Broke.' 'Don't Cry.' 'Keep Calm and Carry On.' All parties involved in New York’s flagship international contemporary art fair know that, this time around, something serious is up, or rather down." New York Times, March 6
Tribeca Film Festival
"Slimmed down to 85 films, the eighth annual Tribeca Film Festival, which wrapped Sunday, nevertheless had one of its most successful years at least in terms of the films screened. Moviegoers stumbled across quality films with ease and distributors even found a few movies worth acquiring a notable feat in the current climate of independent film." AP, May 3
Tony nominations
"Billy Elliot: The Musical opened on Broadway shortly after Election Day, at a moment when New York theater, like the nation, was full of uncertainty. Investors were skittish about putting on new shows in a recession, but theater industry leaders suggested that plays and musicals would be just fine if people had good reasons to buy tickets." New York Times, May 5
(image via ONTD_ai)
This week, BWE.tv got to do what so so so many of you can only dream of -- meet and touch The Lambert. As in Adam Lambert, dare we say the biggest sensation in America since you know who's heart went on aboard the Titanic ahuminahumina years ago.
Tonight at 11 PM, Adam will make his "talking head" debut on VH1 with a special appearance -- along with AI winner Kris Allen -- on an all new Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins. If you can't wait until tonight, click here to check out a sneak peek at Lambert making a bespectacle out of himself.
And for those of you interested in a little Kris Allen, fear not: Along with tonight's episode, Kris and Adam made cameos on last night's Best Day Ever with Doug Benson.
But what would a Lambert highlight post be without mention of my own run-in with this indescribably magnetic sent-from-the-future asteroid man? Not a very thorough one. Yes, my Interview with Lambert has certainly carried me on a plush chinchilla carpet ride of a great mood this week, as I've been walking around the office in sort of a grinny haze. But imagine my absolute shock when I discovered that a handful of the better -- if not best -- photos from our little BFF 4 Nowver tête à tête were left out of the interview! Including one where I am touching his arm. (**cue chopping my own hands off to save for Grandchildren**)
So, if it's thoroughness you want, thoroughness you shall receive. The photos are after the jump. Consider this an Appendix to the original inty:
Here's one of me, answering the immortal question "How's the soup today?":
And another one, where I'm pretending to look at questions on the blank piece of paper I'm holding (he knows):
Oh, here's one of me still talking (but camman, look at his adorable face!):
OH SNAP, IT'S A REACTION SHOT Y'ALL:
Here we are reenacting our favorite episode of Friends, "The One Where Ross and Rachel...You Know":
And finally... here I am touching him, as though he were an endangered species I happened upon while stranded in the Brazilian Rainforest:
To quote Wes Bentley in American Beauty: "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." Adam Lambert, you are my supermarket shopping bag floating in the breeze. Source: Best Week Ever | 29 May 2009 | 9:43 pm
With a full-out pantsless culture on the rise, leggings are filling in the gap for the lack of slacks. And they keep getting more creative, like the $120 pair by Black Milk Leggings named Cages. Designer James Lillis amped up regular black leggings by adding nine rows and two vertical strands of gold chains to form small boxes of shackles around your legs. And, given that the chains ride right up to the crotch, we can't imagine them being very comfortable, which goes against the very reason you wear leggings in the first place. Behold the sacrifices people endure to avoid the trappings of pants. [Nitro:licious]
Ramona: You're not answering the question. Jill: [Glares] Annnnyway. Ramona: You're not — Jill: Anyway, calm down! Ramona Why did you bring Simon? Jill: CALM DOWN! Ramona You're — Jill: Shut up! Let me — Ramona You're interrupting me. Jill: I did not. Ramona You interrupted me all the time, before. Jill: [To Bethenny and LuAnn, who are sitting on the golden couch beside her, looking like startled Kewpie dolls] Did I interrupt her? Did I let her speak all those questions? Beelzebub [Interrupting] She's saying you interrupt her figuratively.
Did you see that? Beelzebub picked up the Real Housewives' strange language problem like a case of the swine flu! It was good to come back for a night, but actually, now that we think about it, we're glad this season is over; otherwise we'd all start malapropizationing. But before we say good-bye, let's declare a winner to last night's episode.
Jill: We'd wondered what happened to the story line in season one in which Jill awkwardly attempts to force daughter Ally to bond with her stepfather, Bobby Zarin. After watching this leftover footage of the new family bowling, we understand why they dropped it. But in the end our eyelids were so droopy we couldn't distinguish between Bobby's head and the bowling balls. Less clear was why the producers cut Jill's meeting with the head of an African orphanage, in which she asks him: "Do you have horses in Africa? Do you have television?" This made us scream aloud, but it lost Jill the episode. Really, Jill. Try and learn a little something about the continent where zebra fabric comes from.
Ramona : Ramona's eyes were wide — even more than usual — as she described the bounty she and her dog, Coco, observed at the Paws of Style fashion show. "There was a lot of hoopla," she said. "Richard Belzer was there! And Nikki Blonsky from Hairspray." When she and Coco sashayed down the runway in matching sequined Rebecca Taylor dresses and Ramona capped it off with her signature wiggle dance, we died. But then she reminded us we hate her by randomly shit-talking Jill's dog, and lost the episode.
LuAnn: The countess appeared briefly, called a napkin a serviette, and lost the episode.
Kelly: Kelly, as it turns out, has a hoarding problem. "I have so many clothes," she announces. "Because I am a pack rat. I have clothes people gave me when I was 16." So she decides to give some away. Because, as she says, "In these times, when banks are closing and people are freaking out and nobody has any money and people are putting money underneath their mattresses, maybe I can lean down a little bit and donate my clothes to people who really need it.” Alms! Isn't that nice. Also, she might smother in her own home. So she invites a stylist called Issa over to go through her closet while she sits there and discusses her decision with the camera. "There are two kinds of people in New York," she says. "Talkers, and doers. So instead of being someone who's like, oh yeah, I'm sooo charitable … I just want to do something nice." Right? Like she can help it if people want to watch her do it on television. Needless to say, Kelly loses the episode.
Bethenny: One of the things we like about Bethenny is that she always seems up for, well, stuff. Like when she takes time out to help Ally, who at 15 has only ridden a bike "around three times," wobble through Central Park. She's game when her second date with sexy Frawnch Phillipe turns into an impromptu photo shoot (and manages to not spill red wine all over his all-white sofa, which is an accomplishment). And when she travels to Fire Island, "or, as I call it, Gay Island," she announces, "I just want to dance until my tits fall off." She does do a lot of dancing. But sadly, she does not fulfill this last promise (tits stay on) and loses the episode.
Alex : Hearing Alex talk about how "fearless" she and Simon are about fashion is like wearing vinyl pants without underwear or a bikini wax in 100 degree weather. It just chafes terribly. They're not facing down any personal demons by wearing wacky clothes, they're indulging themselves in their need for attention. We weren't so into their quippy gay friends, either, who remarked, in front of their adopted child: "One kid is an accessory, two is a minivan." Parenting! But we do have to commend Alex for the way she handled Beezlebub's broaching of the Is Simon Gay question: "If Simon were gay, he's be out and proud and marching, and he would have a rainbow flag tattooed on his forehead," she said, with absolute conviction, and from everything we've learned about Simon, we have to concur. If that man were gay, he would be fearless about it. For this, Alex McCord wins the episode.
Auxiliary Winners New York Magazine: For being prominently featured as Gloria reads the now-infamous article in which Simon refers to Jill being from Long Island, "and it shows." Mama Gloria: For making a good point about the Van Kempens. "What is this, McCord–Van Kempen? They're so close together that they practically walked together as one unit, yet she retains her name?" Brad: For overshadowing everyone else in the "insane outfits of the season" segment. Does that man own a non-patterned suit? The Editors Who Had the Brilliant Idea to Put All of Simon's Gayest Moments Into a Fucking Montage: Which you can view here. Bravo, indeed.
After her Rolling Stone cover, we feared Lady Gaga had lost steam. Her bubble outfit on the cover and painted-on pants inside were boring. But we just watched her latest eight-minute-long video for "Paparazzi," and we're excited about her again! She wears a metal leotard with crutches at about minute four. And another crazy white outfit with half a skirt and gigantic shoulder ruffles at minute five. Also of note: creepy death imagery, and girls licking each other's tongues. [Music Mix/EW]
So for a long time we've assumed that Stephen Colbert's long-promised trip to the Persian Gulf would involve a visit to Iraq to entertain the troops. He's been careful not to come out and say it, though, and only hinted heavily in March to Stars and Stripes that he'd be there. But today his cover was blown. By whom? Sarah Palin, of course! On her Twitter, no less. "Getting ready to tape shout-out for our awesome US troops serving overseas!" she tweeted. "Will be on 'Colbert Report' next month, broadcast from Iraq." Looks like this one wouldn't have kept the "undisclosed V.P. hideout location" secret any longer than Biden did. [Videogum]
Reuters - A quick look at the writing and production credits for Lionel Richie's latest reveals his obvious desire to connect with an audience too young to remember mid-'80s hits like "Dancing on the Ceiling" and "Hello." Akon, Ne-Yo, Stargate, "Tricky" Stewart and the-Dream all contribute to an album with an up-to-the-minute digital sheen. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 29 May 2009 | 8:46 pm
While our siblings over at Daily Intel are busy staking out the perfect hiding spot on Governors Island from which to stalk quietly observe Prince Harry this weekend, if you make the trip over there next weekend, you'll see over 800 zombies shooting a big scene for the upcoming film Isle of the Dead. If you've always wondered what it would be like to be undead without, you know, actually dying, you have until June 1 to RSVP. [Transracial]
Today President Obama ventured outside the White House gates for another one of his frequent, highly publicized visits to area burger establishments — this time, Five Guys. Needless to say, we were disappointed and saddened to learn that Obama, clearly intimidated by the outcry of Dijongate, decided not to order his burger with the elitist spicy mustard he so cherishes. Just look at that face. He's almost in tears just thinking about the blandness his taste buds will soon encounter. [Page/Time]
We’re kind of excited by this idea: The Art by Chance Film Festival celebrates “ultra-short films” by presenting them to us in unexpected, non-theatrical venues: Movies might pop up in subways, buses, airports, cafes, malls, etc. on digital screens scattered throughout the city. And not just our city: The festival will present its films in fourteen countries and 64 cities between May 22 and June 3, 2009. Plus, the films, predicated on the theme of “journeys” and under a minute long, are fascinating little works. Two of our favorites, which we’re presenting here, are Ounouri Damien’s Away From Nedjma, from France, and Eckhard Kruse’s Fastest Way, from Germany. Both films effectively limn the breakneck, fragmented nature of our lives, albeit in their own distinct ways. Hey, it beats a Dr. Z ad.
Prince Harry dedicates a group of trees in New York City with his wacky 80s-comedian impression, "Wouldn't it be weird if Jack Nicholson from The Shining was playing with Marlon Brando's grandson from The Godfather? It might go uuuuuuhhhhhh little something...like this":
Full-on Godfather special effects after the jump:
BOOM! Any openings for a graphic designer, Pixar? Source: Best Week Ever | 29 May 2009 | 8:15 pm
The Most Perfect Porcelain Face in the World suffered a crack today when Angelina Jolie was injured on the Long Island set of her film Salt. According to TMZ, during a stunt she hit her head, earning herself "some sort of nick in between her eyes. She bled a bit and was taken to the hospital." This was the official statement from the production company:
"This morning while filming an action sequence ... Angelina Jolie sustained a minor injury. As a precautionary measure, Ms. Jolie will be taken to the hospital and examined. Production on the film has resumed."
Her agent's reaction was that she would "be fine." Our reaction is: "OH MY GOD ANGELINA JOLIE IS BLEEDING FROM THE FACE." Even though we've never thought Angelina was all that interesting, the entirety of her upper body is still clearly a national treasure. Or, then again, our reaction might just stem from the fact that we watch the secretly awesome TV show Harper's Island, and remember all too well what happened with the chandelier and the "head spade" at the beginning of the last episode. Our horror-imagery meter has been out of scale all week.
EVENTS TOMORROW
• Enjoy a Premium Tan from City Sun Tanning for eight cents (originally $39) with this coupon. Text the coupon to your phone or print it out. The deal includes tanning beds and spray tans and is good for one session per person (75th Street location only). No appointment necessary. Through 6/6. 207 W. 75th St., nr. Broadway (212-595-9700); M–F (10–10), S (10–8), Su (12–8).
SUNDAY
• Designer Adam Lippes will open up his meatpacking district store for a day of dog adoptions. New dog owners will get a leash and T-shirt, and 10 percent of all other proceeds that day will be donated to the Humane Society. Through 5/31. 678 Hudson St., nr 14th St. (212-229-2838); 12–7.
MONDAY
• Eve spa hosts a night of summer-inspired beauty, including a watermelon pedicure. Food and watermelon martinis will be served, and prizes of free treatments are up for grabs. 55 W. 8th St., nr. Sixth Ave. (212-807-8054); 4–8. RSVP: evesalon.nyc@gmail.com.
SALES STARTING TOMORROW
• Aloha Rag is having a one-day sale, featuring 40 to 70 percent off designers like 3.1 phillip lim, Alexander Wang, Rogan, Jil Sander, and more. Through 5/30. 505 Greenwich St., nr. Spring St. (212-925-0882); 12–8.
ENDING TOMORROW
• Snag spring merchandise for up to 80 percent off at the Vera Wang ready-to-wear sample sale. Through 5/30. 225 W. 39th St., nr. Seventh Ave., ninth fl.; W–F (9–7), S (12–4).
• Minnie Mortimer, Sophia Eugene, Lewis Cho, Christopher Deane, and more are 50 to 80 percent off at the Panthere Communications sample sale. Through 5/30. 200 Park Ave. S., at 17th St., Ste. 1608; Th, F (10–8), S (11–5).
• Find 50 to 80 percent off Alexander Wang, Denim & Thread, and rag & bone at Suite Orchard and Gargyle's sample sale. Through 5/30. 145 Orchard St., at Rivington St. (212-533-4115); daily (12–7).
• Tops are $10, shirts are $15, skirts are $15, and pants are $20 at the Nolita and Rare sample sale for men, women, and children. Through 5/30. 39 W. 19th St., nr. Sixth Ave., Ste. 610; daily (10–7).
ENDING SUNDAY
• The men's and women's spring 2009 collections are discounted at the Nicholas K sample sale. Overstock is 50 to 60 percent off; samples are up to 75 percent off. Through 5/31. 208 W. 29th St., nr. Seventh Ave.; F (10–8) S (11–7), Su (noon–6).
• Stop by Court for the Brendan Donnelly sample sale and find tees for kids and adults from $15 to $25. Court's spring merchandise will also be 20 to 70 percent off, including items from Sophomore, Tashkent footwear, Bijules, and Kerrigan. Through 5/31. 178 Mulberry St., at Broome St. (212-925-1022); daily (noon–8).
• All full-priced maternity dresses are 25 percent off at IsabellaOliver.com. Enter DRESSES to receive your discount. Through 5/31. Online only.
STARTING MONDAY
• Show a boarding pass or plane ticket at any Olive and Bette's boutique and receive $20 off your purchase of $75 or more. Through 9/30. Various locations.
ONGOING
• Find discounts on shoes at Christian Louboutin and Jimmy Choo, starting this weekend. Louboutins are 40 percent off and Jimmy Choos from the summer and cruise collections are 30 percent off. While merchandise lasts. Christian Louboutin, 965 Madison Ave., nr. 75th St. (212-396-1884); F, S (10–6), Su (12–5); Jimmy Choo, 716 Madison Ave., at 63rd St. (212-759-7078); M–W (10–7), Th (10–8), F–S (10–7), Su (12–6).
Amid the intermittent drizzle, the Power Rankings return bearing ten little nuggets of sunshine. As expected, not much movement at the top: At this point, it’s looking like “Boom Boom Pow” and “Blame It” will have to suffer self-inflicted overexposure wounds to loosen their hold on the 1-2 rankings (considering the play counts they’re racking up, definitely a possibility). Further down the list, however, some interesting candidates have emerged, including a long-shot indie-rock duo, a veteran local-boy emcee, and the most famous Canadian rapper since Snow (sorry, Kardinal Offishall!).
The man in question would be Drake, already beloved around here for his yeoman work on Degrassi: The Next Generation — his “Best I Ever Had” is this week’s Biggest Gainer. Note the rise: Last month we said he’s “maybe gonna be a famous rapper”; this week, he just about already is. Drizzy’s already had to refute Rihanna make-out rumors and, more impressively, got Talib Kweli, Bun B, Lyor Cohen, and Kanye to show up at S.O.B.'s on Tuesday night. “Best I Ever Had” peaked at No. 6 this week on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart — doubly impressive when you consider it’s just a friggin' mix-tape track.
2. Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain, “Blame It”: Only getting stronger — with every passing week, the nation becomes more willing to accept the idea of a “Song of the Summer” coming from an Oscar winner.
3. Drake, “Best I Ever Had”: Hard to recall more buzz for an artist who hasn’t even begun recording his debut album.
5. Jadakiss, “Who’s Real”: A local smash from Yonkers’ favorite son that’s getting tons of play on Hot 97. Perfectly mindless summer entertainment.
6. Jeremih, “Birthday Sex”: Big stuff — an extremely sexy teaser clip for the video was released, finally clearing up just what the heck this song is about. Also, per his very helpful Twitter, it’s Jeh-ruh-mih.
7. The-Dream feat. Kanye West, “Walking on the Moon”: Radio’s modern-day Midas officially kicks off the “Song of the Summer” bid for his new single, premiering the video and performing on Jimmy Fallon (alas, sans Kanye).
8. Jason Mraz feat. Cobie Caillat, "Lucky" : Slow and steady for Mraz and Caillat — your radio stations might not love them, but the Adult Top 40 totally does.
9. Kelly Clarkson, “I Do Not Hook Up”: Troubling, and disappointing, signs of slippage — “Hook Up” fell from 23 to 32 on the Hot 100 this week.
10. Japandroids, “Young Hearts Spark Fire”: Take it away, walkwithastagger: “It has the all important pitchfork blessing (both best new track and best new music), is riding the lo-fi noise-pop buzz … and the song has the perfect summer jam lyric: ‘i don't wanna worry about dying, i just wanna worry about those sunshine girls.’” Anyone else care to weigh in?
No single entity in any existing media field generates more weighty, superlative praise, then ends up completely justifying it, quite like the annual summer Pixar movie:
Ordinarily, if I saw these sort of reviews attached to a non-Pixar movie, my eyes would pop out of my skull and I'd brace myself for a second wave of contradictory critical backlash, but with Pixar movies, we've just come to expect these kinds of reviews, and no one's worried about the hype because the movie ALWAYS ends up delivering (and obviously I'm not counting Cars, that's the caveat with any Pixar discussion):
So why am I posting about the Up reviews when I completely expected them and also completely expect to love the movie instantly just as I embraced WALL-E and Ratatouille and the lot? Because, well, I'm not usually one to pass judgment, but if any of you out there are really dying to go after any movie critics' families, pro-lifers on abortion-doctor style... well.........
KIDDING!!! Kidding! Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, hahahahahahahaHA, what a funny...joke... I'm joking, I'd never... ACTUALLY... want people to...
I'm really looking forward to this movie. Source: Best Week Ever | 29 May 2009 | 7:40 pm
It was only a matter of time before the Republicans concerned about their party's viability spoke out against Republicans more concerned with ingratiating themselves to the party's base, even if the latter group includes the all-powerful Rush Limbaugh. Both Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich (and Tom Tancredo, but who cares) have called Sonia Sotomayor a racist in recent days, which many Hispanic voters will surely remember (or be reminded of) come voting time. So because some people are trying to run a party here, the backlash has begun. Senator John Cornyn called the comments "terrible," columnist Peggy Noonan wants Republicans to act "like grown-ups," and RNC chairman Michael Steele, channeling Walt Frazier, advises against "slammin' and rammin'" Sotomayor. We're not entirely sure what that means, but it definitely doesn't sound like something you should do to a judge.
When Prince showed up on the Tonight Show to bid a (temporary) farewell to Jay Leno last night, he brought a homemade sign along with him. What did it say? "Jay is the best. Even Paul Shafer [sic] knows." Oh, snap! [TMZ]
British company Kiniki is making what it calls "tan through" swimwear. That means the fabric allows 80 percent of sunlight through the bathing suit, so you don't get tan lines. Or, as the Kiniki website says, "so you can tan all without baring all!" Oh ... yes! Except ... no! This is, in fact, a very bad idea, because of that little thing called skin cancer. Experts are worried, since this garment is the opposite of UV-protective clothing. People might not put sunscreen on under the suits. And what if they don't reapply sunscreen when it wears off, which it is all too likely to do — rapidly — with the fabric rubbing against it? If you're on the beach in public, how would you reapply sunscreen to, um, those areas without looking like a freak? And if you don't lotion up, imagine the sunburns. Imagine them. Why would anyone want to risk that? We don't know, but apparently a lot of people do. The people who make the suits say they can't keep up with demand since they launched four weeks ago. And the suits only come in animal prints!
When perusing the Kiniki site, we thought, Isn't it a little sexist to assume that only women would want to lose their tan lines? Is Kiniki suggesting that tan lines on women are bad but tan lines on men are okay, in some sort of offensive double standard along the lines of the cultural norms of bikini-line maintenance for both sexes? And then we scrolled down some more.
Photo: Courtesy of Kiniki
Well, at least they're not offensive due to sexism.
On the eve of her big performance in the finals of Britain's Got Talent, Susan Boyle has gone into hiding! Amid rumors that she was planning on quitting the show in order to escape the glare of the paparazzi and to relieve the pressure that comes with trying to knock Simon Cowell's socks off, the Hairy Angel has been whisked off to a secret location by the show's producers where, presumably, she can prep for tomorrow night's show in peace. Just as long as she doesn't tell Joe Biden the location of the safe house she's holed up in, we think she ought to be safe.
Add Emma Cook's name to the growing Recession Victim List; the London-based designer is folding her eleven-year-old fashion line after this fall. Cook cites a steady drop in orders and revenue as the culprit that brought her down, which is similar reasoning behind this week's announcements of liquidation at Veronique Branquinho and bankruptcy at Christian Lacroix. And though it's tough to see the silver lining in this dark turn, we'll try: Cook's spring line is still for sale at Opening Ceremony. [Fashion Smashion/Paper, Fashionologie]
As we type, His Royal Highness Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales (or, as we prefer to call him, the Ginger Fox) is giving a press conference to christen the British Memorial Garden at Hanover Square. We know this (a) because we've been obsessively following his movements since he landed in New York, and (b) because Intel tipster Julie is there and watching him! Today he'll also visit the World Trade Center site, as well as injured American veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Tomorrow he'll visit the Harlem Children's Zone uptown, and then head to Governors Island to play in the Veuve Clicquot Manhattan Polo Classic, an event benefiting Sentabale, his charity that aids needy children in Lesotho. (And Intel editor Chris is going! Don't worry, he will take many, many pictures with his zoom lens.) Harry is reportedly under strict orders not to hit the town while he is in New York, and we hear he's flying out of town right after the polo match. Still, last night Amy Sacco told our reporter Bennett Marcus that she's planning some sort of after-party for him and/or his polo crew at Bungalow 8 tomorrow night. "There’s already a private party for him there that night. That was worked out a long time ago," she said. "I’m sure I’ll see him." SO! Best we can tell, if Harry somehow misses his Saturday-evening flight, Bungalow is the place to go see him. You did a great job with the Sad Panda, people — now try your luck with the Ginger Fox!
Like So Many Things is a vaguely mumblecore-y web series about a pair of Brooklynites who go on a not-so-successful first date but then subsequently (and randomly) bump into each other later on the street. You can view it on either IFC's television channel or their website. Let's just hope the transition to television goes better for this show than it did for Quarterlife.
[IFC]
We Investigate With The Man Himself
If you were to happen upon my DVR list at any given moment, one thing would become perfectly clear: TLC programming takes up way, way too much of my time. Babies getting born, wedding gowns being desecrated, small people and giant, fat, obese people, and freaks of all shapes and sizes. You name it, I'm watching it. But perhaps no other show on TLC has had quite as much of an impact on my own life as What Not To Wear, the British import fashion makeover show hosted by Clinton Kelly and Stacy Londonthat airs on Friday nights at 9 PM. Tonight, on the premiere of the all new season, Stacy and Clinton open their jewel bedecked arms up to someone we let into our hearts long ago: Mayim Bialik, aka Blossom, the child star turned scientist who still had pieces of clothing from the Blossom wardrobe in her closet.
Clinton Kelly, WNTW's argyled patriarch and all around class act, was kind enough to spare a few minutes over the phone for the betterment of BWE.tv-kind. In the interview that follows, we learn a lot about Clinton Kelly: The Man. For example, if you ever walk by him on the street, it might be best for you to, you know, not ask him if he likes what you're wearing... especially if you're Mario Lopez. Plus, learn about Clinton's hidden talent, and how he used to pay the bills before he became the face of a television sensation.
So now, please join us for BWE.tv's Exclusive Interview with Clinton Kelly: The Man, The Critic, The Former Singing Waiter:Michelle: So first of all, big news: Blossom on the premiere. How on earth did you even land a national treasure like Mayim Bialik?
Clinton: You know I think that her people and our people got together. As soon as it was any talk of that, Stacy and I were practically jumping for joy at the opportunity to get our hands on good ol’ Blossom. Because even back then when the show was on, it was like “What the hell is she wearing?” and then it got even worse when the show was canceled! She still had clothes in her wardrobe from her Blossom days.
Michelle: Are you serious? Did she have the necktie skirt? Because I will die if she did.
Clinton: I don’t recall that one. She might have let that one stay in the wardrobe department.
Michelle: You know, I’m pretty sure that the way that she dressed is the reason I was beat up as a child. Because I thought that she was the coolest thing. I wore a sunflower hat, plus I was a giant. I was huge. And then I had a floppy hat on. It didn’t add up well.
Clinton: You’re like Blossom with a glandular problem.
Michelle: It’s like Treebeard in Lord of the Rings wearing baggy harem pants being like “Hey everybody! Just trying to look cool!” But back to Blossom… Between us (Ed. Note: And everyone reading), she looks a lot older than she is in photos because of how she dresses.
Clinton: She absolutely does, she’s got this aging hippie vibe going on and she’s not old enough to be an aging hippie. She hadn’t had a bra fitting in a long time. And after having a couple kids things were hanging a little lower than they should have been.
Michelle: Sometimes you don’t even need kids for things to sag. Take it from me, it just happens.
Clinton: A little gravity, I know. Things are sagging on me, too.
Michelle: Oh, Clinton. How could you?
Clinton: My ass is a good inch lower.
Michelle: Well I hope that’s the only thing sagging because immediately I thought Cisco Adler. (Ed. Note: Definitely Google this if you do not get the reference.) So you got Blossom on, and tell me, she looked amazing afterwards?
Ahead, Clinton Kelly tells all!Clinton: She looked super cute at the end, she really did. She looked young and fresh and modern. Like she had a style. At the end she looked like she might be considered for other roles besides hippie chick. But I think I heard through the grapevine that her first role when she got back into acting was as a Hasidic Jew.
Michelle: No.
Clinton: I really did.
Michelle: Did you guys put her in floor length denim skirts with a train? Like mermaid denim skirts? I will kill you.
Clinton: With a heavy black shoe and a wig, yeah. (laughs) Anyway, she’s really a sweet person, just smart. It’s always nice to work with somebody smart on the show.
Michelle: Well I’m sure that a lot of people that come to you are not necessarily geniuses.
Clinton: A solid half of them are out of their freaking mind, just insane. And some people just don’t get it. The thing about What Not To Wear is we talk and we shoot about an hour for every minute that airs. It’s crazy. When we do the rules, you know the mannequins? We’re talking about these mannequins for about half an hour and we’re really explaining everything: Why the skirt fits, why the top fits. Of course, when it’s all edited it’s like: “Wear this red blouse!” and then move on. And I watch the show and I’m like “Ahh!” So, [Bialik] got it: She was able to listen to all the rules and synthesize. And she’s got a PhD in neuroscience or something.
Michelle: Yeah, she’s a biologist or something serious.
Clinton: So yeah, she’s super smart.
Michelle: It’s that Jew gene, i.e. her parents are probably mad with drive.
Clinton: Her mother was there! [Mayim] had a kid fairly recently so she brought her baby with her. So her mom was there to sort of watch the baby. That’s called babysitting. (laughs)
Michelle: Go on about this babysitting. I’m fascinated.
Clinton: (laughs) Fascinating, right? Her mom was there and you could tell that her mom is very actively involved in her life. Her mom was a big What Not to Wear fan. Whenever I think of Mayim Bialik I never picture her as Blossom as much as I do in Beaches.
Michelle: Sure! Oh my god, yeah! That’s funny. I think Blossom first, because Beaches was like Bambi for me, in that it was so scarring that I just blocked its existence from my brain. It’s too — Look, I don’t know how to cry. It’s too revealing for me to weep. Let’s talk about you and Stacy: You have the best chemistry. Do you guys get along off camera too?
Clinton: We do actually get along. It’s not like we hang out off camera though. We see each other for 60 hours a week so when they say “cut” we’re like “See ya later!” But we do get along off camera as well. We pretty much have a belly laugh every day, which is cool. I would say that we’re getting along this season better than we ever have.
Michelle: Well that’s good to hear.
Clinton: We both went from working in magazines being regular people to working on a very successful show. Our lives have changed so much over the past six years, a ridiculous amount, and we’re the only 2 people who get what that’s really like. So many people feel as though they know us. Because they watch the show and we’re playing ourselves and we’re helping other people. And the demand from the public is a lot to bear sometimes. We can’t walk down the street and just be normal. People constantly ask us for fashion advice. We went through this process together so that made us super close.
Michelle: So how do you ignore people properly? How do you do it without seeming like a jerk?
Clinton: You know, I’ve decided that sometimes I have to seem like a jerk because I can’t be nice to everybody who’s obnoxious. If you say to me “Aren’t you that guy from that show?” I’ll flat out say “No.”
Michelle: Meanwhile, you’re 6’7” dressed impeccably… Who else looks like you?
Clinton: People are weird like that. Sometimes they’ll be like “I know who you are!” Like I’m trying to sneak by unnoticed.
Michelle: Last week, my friend’s parents were in town and we went to this kosher restaurant on the West Side because they were from that breed. So these two old Jews were turning around and staring at me. Now, me. Who am I, honestly? So my friends parents were like “Michelle, I think they know you they must know you, they’re looking at you!” And I’m like “They don’t know me, what are you talking about?” So we’re walking out and they’re staring at me. So I stop by their table and say “I’m sorry, do you know who I am?” They were like “Ummmm no.” But I dropped a “Do you know who I am?” on them.
Clinton: That’s really hilarious. They just didn’t like the look of you.
Michelle: I think I’m just threatening to Jewish men because I’m tall. I weigh more than almost every male Jew, because they’re little. So they really don’t like me.
Clinton: How did you get so tall? Are you all Jew? Or half Jew?
Michelle: Full Jew. My dad is 5’7” and my mom is 5’10” But my Grandparents on my dad’s side were only five feet and 4’11” The fact that I have their Eastern European midget blood coursing through my veins haunts my every day. I always wonder when I have kids, if I’m going to wind up giving birth to a little peanut from Little People, Big World and be like “How did this happen to me?”
Clinton: Did you drink a lot of dairy as a child?
Michelle: I ate everything. If you asked me if I binge-ate a bag full of fun-sized Crunch bars in my room, I’d say “Yes, yes I did do that.” So, can we talk about you more? Although trust me, I’ll sit here for three hours with you on the phone.
Clinton: What do you want to know?
Michelle: I literally have it written down here -- this is the stupidest thing – it says “How do you relax?” Don’t answer that though, that’s the worst.
Clinton: You don’t want to know.
Michelle: Let’s just skip over that. Oh I know. Here’s something I’ve always wondered: When the people bring their wardrobe to you, do they stink? Because they always look like they smell so bad.
Clinton: Oh my god that’s such a good question! Yes! People really, really stink. Next time you watch the show, watch my face. Watch my nose crinkle. I’m really sensitive to bad smells, it makes me gag a little bit when I smell something that smells like poop. So if you see me holding clothes far away from me or if I have my head tilted in the opposite direction, it’s my way of saying these clothes reek. And we have to touch them! We’re all up in their business and stuff. They don’t clean their stuff before they bring it to the show.
Michelle: Some of the people look like they don’t even know what a Dry Cleaner is… I can only imagine.
Clinton: I have touched and smelled clothes that that are sooo bad. We’re talking about a combination of B.O., cigarette smoke and dog ass. I always go wash my hands after that segment. But sometimes, I will go take a bath in Purel. Two people, I won’t name their names, there were two people whose wardrobes absolutely smelled like they were straight of hell.
Michelle: Oh my god.
Clinton: It was really bad.
Michelle: That is something that is off my mind now. Thank you. Now, I always knew you were smart, but I never realized that you were a documented genius.
Clinton: What are you talking about?
Michelle: I’ll tell you what I’m talking about, Clinton -- look at how angry I get. You went to Boston College, one of the finest colleges in the country, and then Medill [at Northwestern] which I got rejected from as an Undergrad. I’m a little bitter, but tell me everything.
Clinton: They let just about everybody into Grad school there, I think. I don’t know. I mean, I’m not an idiot. I’m also not a super genius. Every time I take an IQ test, I always score one point below genius. I’m really not a genius.
Michelle: That is really smart! Give yourself some credit. I hate when you talk about yourself that way!
Clinton: (joking) I’m worthless! Whatever, I’m kind of smart. I don’t think I’ve lived up to my potential in that regard.
Michelle: Now do you still sing? I know you were in the chorale, right?
Clinton: I still sing a little bit, yeah. I used to sing a lot. I was a singing waiter in Boston. And that was one of my worst jobs ever. I worked on the Spirit of Boston Cruise Ship. It was a dinner cruise ship around Boston Harbor. We had to serve lobster and then, during the dessert service, the band would start playing and the waiters and waitresses would be like “Oh my god it’s time for the show! Oh, I didn’t know it was time for the show!” and then we’d have to run back into the little kitchen area and trade our black bowties in for red sequin bowties. And then we would flip our black vests inside out to reveal the red shiny vests.
Michelle: I am having a heart attack right now. That is the best thing. Is that still running? I will take the Acela to Boston tonight. It sounds amazing.
Clinton: The Spirit of Boston boats still sail, but I don’t think they have the singing waiters on them anymore. The first half of the show was “Salute to Broadway!” and the second half was “Salute to America!” But we would finish hand in hand, arms in the air, singing “God Bless the USA.” People were just throwing money at us, they were like “Wahoo, God bless America!!” It was crazy the money I made.
Michelle: My face is streaked with tears. I am so moved by everything you’re saying. What sort of stuff do you enjoy on television?
Clinton: I only watch crappy VH1 shows to be honest with you.
Michelle: Oh boy.
Clinton: The only shows I watch are Rock of Love, Rock of Love Bus, I Love Money - I can’t believe it’s over. Miami? I had a soul-level connection with Miami.
Michelle: What was it like working with Mario Lopez during the Miss America pageant?
Clinton: It was fine. I don’t know how I feel about being second banana to Mario Lopez.
Michelle: That’s why I respect you. That answer? That’s why you’re the best. Remember that. That’s why you went to Boston College. Where did Mario Lopez go to college out of curiosity?
Clinton: I couldn’t even begin to venture a guess there. He did say that he like my outfit and that he wanted to wear it next year. But he would have to get it in a much smaller size. I’m a 42 long. He’s not.
Michelle: He sure ain’t. One last thing. I once saw you shopping near me, in a store I love. I nearly sh*t my pants because I thought I was being ambushed for the show. I’m not even being funny, I stopped and was like “It’s happening.” I was so scared. Can you even go shopping without frightening people?
Clinton: I do instill fear in people. It’s kind of fun, to be honest with you. It also gets tedious, when I’m not in the mood for it. People are like “Oh you’re here for me aren’t you?!” I’m like “No, I’m actually here to buy underwear.” (laughs) Get off my back bitch! I’m here to buy undies. But it’s funny. I hear all the time, “I wanted to come say hi to you, but I didn’t want you to make a comment on my outfit.” Or people won’t come up to me until they’ve had 5 drinks at a party. But honestly, when I’m not filming “What Not to Wear”, I don’t give a crap what people are wearing.
Michelle: Do you ever offer unsolicited advice?
Clinton: I never do. My policy is, if you’re going to ask me for my opinion, I’m going to give it to you, no holds barred. I’m going to lay it on you. But if you didn’t ask, I’m not going to just criticize you. There’s a switch in my head that I have to turn off sometimes. If I went through life just criticizing everyone that walked by me my head would explode.
Michelle: You’d feel miserable.
Clinton: I’d be miserable! That’s just filling your life with negativity. If you want to hear the truth, can you handle it? That’s the question.
Michelle: I know what I’m getting you for Christmas this year, a taser. Anytime someone gives you a problem, just tase them.
Clinton: How awesome would that be? I am thinking about getting stickers. So if somebody asks me, “What do you think of my outfit?” I can hand them a sticker that says “Clinton Approved” on it.
Michelle: That’s really cute! It’s really twee. It’d be funny for an hour. Then you’ll feel embarrassed for doing it.
Clinton: I know, I’m not going to do it. Maybe if the stickers weren’t so positive, if they said “Clinton says this outfit sucks ass”, then maybe that would be less twee.
Michelle: Now if you had those stickers, I’d be like “Clinty, where are the stickers?” You have absolutely been a treasure and a treat. The premiere is this week?
Clinton: The new season premieres May 29th at 9 PM (Ed. Note: That’s tonight!) And coming up on this season of “What Not to Wear”, we might have our first ever unhappy ending. The woman was not pleased.
Michelle: Oh my gosh! I can’t wait. I’ll be sure to watch. Thank you Clinton!
Be sure to check out tonight's Season Premiere of What Not To Wear starring Mayim Bialik on TLC at 9PM/8C! Source: Best Week Ever | 29 May 2009 | 6:39 pm
Just when you thought you would never see your beloved American Idol finalists ever again, Kris Allen and Adam Lambert crashed this musical edition of Best Day Ever with Doug Benson:
Still haven't had your fill of these guys? Good, then check out Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins tonight at 11pm on VH1. Check out the preview with Adam Lambert if you haven't already. Source: Best Week Ever | 29 May 2009 | 5:45 pm
Summer is here, and that means so are summer jobs. While lots of young people find work as lifeguards or camp counselors, just as many are forced off the beaten path to find their first paychecks.
You'd think someone who lasted 17 years as host of a television program in this day and age -- particularly a show as venerable as NBC's "Tonight Show" -- would be receiving praise and honor. But the critics are still attacking Jay Leno.
Answer after the jump:
Ahh, a Subway in Santa Monica has been Land of the Lost-ized to promote the movie's release. Who wouldn't want to take a group of 80 to the movie after seeing this thrilling promo shot:
Here's Jared and the two lizard dudes with Sid and Marty Krofft, creators of the original show, and a Subway sandwich, which actually receives fourth billing in the credits:
And what promotion would be complete without Zachary Levi and Michael Strahan? The answer is this one would not!
Four strong-minded, self-sufficient adventurers set out on a nearly 1,000-mile journey into the heart of Tanzania, using only basic maps and a compass. Were they vying for a million dollars, trying to knock each other off the route and out of the running?
After months of speculation, Adam Lambert has something very important to tell his fans in this preview clip from tonight's Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins.
For even more Adam Lambert, and a special appearance by fellow American IdolKris Allen, check out Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkinstonight at 11pm on VH1.
If you'd like "More Lambert" (you would, wouldn't you?), check out Michelle Collins' exclusive interview here, as well as his appearance with Doug Benson on Best Day Ever. Source: Best Week Ever | 29 May 2009 | 4:47 pm
While the American Idol post-season promo drive for Summer 2009 has kicked into gear for Adam Lambert and Kris Allen, Season 7's Michael Johns will be resurfacing this summer with his first post-Idol album entitled "Hold Back My Heart."
Levi Johnston, baby daddy of Bristol Palin, isn't quite ready to allow his name to slip into "Kato Kaelin" obscure pop-culture punchline territory quite yet after posing in GQ for a generic store-brand version of the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes Vanity Fair spread.
Congratulations, Levi - your name will continue floating around the public consciousness for one additional month. See you on VH1 this fall!
With an unbroken chain of blockbuster hits under their belt, the talented team of men and women who work for Pixar seem to have the Midas touch. But the challenges continue with "Up" -- including animating thousands of balloons.
AFP - French fashion king Christian Lacroix has pledged to fight to the hilt to maintain his prestigious couture house, declared insolvent this week after falling foul of the global crisis.
Fans of Tiny Toon Adventures may or may not want to check out the show's "Lost Episode" below, a parable warning kids about drinking that just so happens to include Buster, Plucky, and Hampton getting hammered off one beer then stealing a cop car, presumably so that kids watching wouldn't get hammered off one beer then steal a cop car in real life.
The end of the episode tries to pound the message home, although I will say, Plucky is an amazing driver for a kid-sized duck under the influence:
'Some people are the polarizing type, I think he sure is on of them,' Prince Albert's former flame Alexandra Kamp says of Steven Seagal. Source: FOXNews.com | 29 May 2009 | 2:27 pm
Susan Boyle was moved to a 'safe house' in anticipation of the Britain's Got Talent finale. Apparently in the British version of that show, before you make it to the final episode, mob hitmen attempt to murder you.
Rihannamay testify against Chris Brown in his upcoming June court hearing. Although once the judge sees these, I imagine this case will get tossed out immediately.
Dr. Dre's long-awaited album Detox will debut in an upcoming Dr. Pepper commercial. Get it? Doctor Pepper, Doctor Dre... offering a lot of money, totally shameless... makes sense.
And finally, Tom Brady openly declared that Gisele Bundchen is not pregnant. But...is Gisele Bundchen pregnant?
After several years of touring together and a new joint charity single, Chicago and Earth, Wind & Fire are contemplating a full-scale collaborative album project.
Fashion Wire Daily - She's acted alongside Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen's "Vicky Christina Barcelona," and now, Scarlett Johansson follows in Cruz's footsteps as the next face of Spanish retailer Mango. Johansson will soon be in an advertising spread near you as part of Mango's fall/winter 2009 campaign.
Internet singing sensation Susan Boyle bids to justify her favorite tag on Saturday when she competes in the final of "Britain's Got Talent", a show which turned her from dowdy, unemployed church volunteer into A-list celebrity.
Everyone loves a good battle, especially when it involves famous people.
Whether truly feuding or merely fighting for a higher position on our Fanpage Fame Charts, numbers never lie...
The CSI creators are being sued by two people who were used as models for characters on a episode. Aren't these kinds of shows "ripped from the headlines" all the time?
...
They have such high hopes.
Contestants like Lydia here (from The Fashion Show) come on reality shows seeking glory but often get sent packing. While Lydia's safe—for...
Maggie Gyllenhaal first wore this asymmetrical Lanvin gown to the Golden Globes back in January.
But last night, makeup maven Aerin Lauder (heiress to Estée Lauder cosmetics)...
Sex! Botox! Stupid people! Reality TV, in other words. Come and get it!
Daisy De La Hoya found someone even shallower than she is. Your move, Brett Michaels.
The Botox dumping...
A transcript of the 911 call made when Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter was discovered unconscious in the family's home indicates the child's mom "did all she could when this...
"The more I talk about him, the more I realize I hate that man. Yeah, no one likes him. Awful, awful human being."
Or so Will Ferrell says he feels about Man vs. Wild adventurer...
'Tis a dark day for Black Sabbath.
Frontman Ozzy Osbourne has filed a federal trademark-infringement suit against fellow founding member Tony Iommi, accusing the guitarist of...
We Investigate With The Man Himself
If you were to happen upon my DVR list at any given moment, one thing would become perfectly clear: TLC programming takes up way, way too much of my time. Babies getting born, wedding gowns being desecrated, small people and giant, fat, obese people, and freaks of all shapes and sizes. You name it, I'm watching it. But perhaps no other show on TLC has had quite as much of an impact on my own life as What Not To Wear, the British import fashion makeover show hosted by Clinton Kelly and Stacy London 
Michelle: So first of all, big news: Blossom on the premiere. How on earth did you even land a national treasure like Mayim Bialik?
Clinton: You know I think that her people and our people got together. As soon as it was any talk of that, Stacy and I were practically jumping for joy at the opportunity to get our hands on good ol’ Blossom. Because even back then when the show was on, it was like “What the hell is she wearing?” and then it got even worse when the show was canceled! She still had clothes in her wardrobe from her Blossom days.
Michelle: Are you serious? Did she have the necktie skirt? Because I will die if she did.
Clinton: I don’t recall that one. She might have let that one stay in the wardrobe department.
Michelle: You know, I’m pretty sure that the way that she dressed is the reason I was beat up as a child. Because I thought that she was the coolest thing. I wore a sunflower hat, plus I was a giant. I was huge. And then I had a floppy hat on. It didn’t add up well.
Clinton: You’re like Blossom with a glandular problem.
Michelle: It’s like Treebeard in Lord of the Rings wearing baggy harem pants being like “Hey everybody! Just trying to look cool!” But back to Blossom… Between us (Ed. Note: And everyone reading), she looks a lot older than she is in photos because of how she dresses.
Clinton: She absolutely does, she’s got this aging hippie vibe going on and she’s not old enough to be an aging hippie. She hadn’t had a bra fitting in a long time. And after having a couple kids things were hanging a little lower than they should have been.
Michelle: Sometimes you don’t even need kids for things to sag. Take it from me, it just happens.
Clinton: A little gravity, I know. Things are sagging on me, too.
Michelle: Oh, Clinton. How could you?
Clinton: My ass is a good inch lower.
Michelle: Well I hope that’s the only thing sagging because immediately I thought Cisco Adler. (Ed. Note: Definitely Google this if you do not get the reference.) So you got Blossom on, and tell me, she looked amazing afterwards?
Ahead, Clinton Kelly tells all!
Clinton: She looked super cute at the end, she really did. She looked young and fresh and modern. Like she had a style. At the end she looked like she might be considered for other roles besides hippie chick. But I think I heard through the grapevine that her first role when she got back into acting was as a Hasidic Jew.
Michelle: No.
Clinton: I really did.
Michelle: Did you guys put her in floor length denim skirts with a train? Like mermaid denim skirts? I will kill you.
Clinton: With a heavy black shoe and a wig, yeah. (laughs) Anyway, she’s really a sweet person, just smart. It’s always nice to work with somebody smart on the show.
Michelle: Well I’m sure that a lot of people that come to you are not necessarily geniuses.
Clinton: A solid half of them are out of their freaking mind, just insane. And some people just don’t get it. The thing about What Not To Wear is we talk and we shoot about an hour for every minute that airs. It’s crazy. When we do the rules, you know the mannequins? We’re talking about these mannequins for about half an hour and we’re really explaining everything: Why the skirt fits, why the top fits. Of course, when it’s all edited it’s like: “Wear this red blouse!” and then move on. And I watch the show and I’m like “Ahh!” So, [Bialik] got it: She was able to listen to all the rules and synthesize. And she’s got a PhD in neuroscience or something.
Michelle: Yeah, she’s a biologist or something serious.
Clinton: So yeah, she’s super smart.
Michelle: It’s that Jew gene, i.e. her parents are probably mad with drive.
Clinton: Her mother was there! [Mayim] had a kid fairly recently so she brought her baby with her. So her mom was there to sort of watch the baby. That’s called babysitting. (laughs)
Michelle: Go on about this babysitting. I’m fascinated.
Clinton: (laughs) Fascinating, right? Her mom was there and you could tell that her mom is very actively involved in her life. Her mom was a big What Not to Wear fan. Whenever I think of Mayim Bialik I never picture her as Blossom as much as I do in Beaches.
Michelle: Sure! Oh my god, yeah! That’s funny. I think Blossom first, because Beaches was like Bambi for me, in that it was so scarring that I just blocked its existence from my brain. It’s too — Look, I don’t know how to cry. It’s too revealing for me to weep. Let’s talk about you and Stacy: You have the best chemistry. Do you guys get along off camera too?
Clinton: We do actually get along. It’s not like we hang out off camera though. We see each other for 60 hours a week so when they say “cut” we’re like “See ya later!” But we do get along off camera as well. We pretty much have a belly laugh every day, which is cool. I would say that we’re getting along this season better than we ever have.
Michelle: Well that’s good to hear.
Clinton: We both went from working in magazines being regular people to working on a very successful show. Our lives have changed so much over the past six years, a ridiculous amount, and we’re the only 2 people who get what that’s really like. So many people feel as though they know us. Because they watch the show and we’re playing ourselves and we’re helping other people. And the demand from the public is a lot to bear sometimes. We can’t walk down the street and just be normal. People constantly ask us for fashion advice. We went through this process together so that made us super close.
Michelle: So how do you ignore people properly? How do you do it without seeming like a jerk?
Clinton: You know, I’ve decided that sometimes I have to seem like a jerk because I can’t be nice to everybody who’s obnoxious. If you say to me “Aren’t you that guy from that show?” I’ll flat out say “No.”
Michelle: Meanwhile, you’re 6’7” dressed impeccably… Who else looks like you?
Clinton: People are weird like that. Sometimes they’ll be like “I know who you are!” Like I’m trying to sneak by unnoticed.
Michelle: Last week, my friend’s parents were in town and we went to this kosher restaurant on the West Side because they were from that breed. So these two old Jews were turning around and staring at me. Now, me. Who am I, honestly? So my friends parents were like “Michelle, I think they know you they must know you, they’re looking at you!” And I’m like “They don’t know me, what are you talking about?” So we’re walking out and they’re staring at me. So I stop by their table and say “I’m sorry, do you know who I am?” They were like “Ummmm no.” But I dropped a “Do you know who I am?” on them.
Clinton: That’s really hilarious. They just didn’t like the look of you.
Michelle: I think I’m just threatening to Jewish men because I’m tall. I weigh more than almost every male Jew, because they’re little. So they really don’t like me.
Clinton: How did you get so tall? Are you all Jew? Or half Jew?
Michelle: Full Jew. My dad is 5’7” and my mom is 5’10” But my Grandparents on my dad’s side were only five feet and 4’11” The fact that I have their Eastern European midget blood coursing through my veins haunts my every day. I always wonder when I have kids, if I’m going to wind up giving birth to a little peanut from Little People, Big World and be like “How did this happen to me?”
Clinton: Did you drink a lot of dairy as a child?
Michelle: I ate everything. If you asked me if I binge-ate a bag full of fun-sized Crunch bars in my room, I’d say “Yes, yes I did do that.” So, can we talk about you more? Although trust me, I’ll sit here for three hours with you on the phone.
Clinton: What do you want to know?
Michelle: I literally have it written down here -- this is the stupidest thing – it says “How do you relax?” Don’t answer that though, that’s the worst.
Clinton: You don’t want to know.
Michelle: Let’s just skip over that. Oh I know. Here’s something I’ve always wondered: When the people bring their wardrobe to you, do they stink? Because they always look like they smell so bad.
Clinton: Oh my god that’s such a good question! Yes! People really, really stink. Next time you watch the show, watch my face. Watch my nose crinkle. I’m really sensitive to bad smells, it makes me gag a little bit when I smell something that smells like poop. So if you see me holding clothes far away from me or if I have my head tilted in the opposite direction, it’s my way of saying these clothes reek. And we have to touch them! We’re all up in their business and stuff. They don’t clean their stuff before they bring it to the show.
Michelle: Some of the people look like they don’t even know what a Dry Cleaner is… I can only imagine.
Clinton: I have touched and smelled clothes that that are sooo bad. We’re talking about a combination of B.O., cigarette smoke and dog ass. I always go wash my hands after that segment. But sometimes, I will go take a bath in Purel. Two people, I won’t name their names, there were two people whose wardrobes absolutely smelled like they were straight of hell.
Michelle: Oh my god.
Clinton: It was really bad.
Michelle: That is something that is off my mind now. Thank you. Now, I always knew you were smart, but I never realized that you were a documented genius.
Clinton: What are you talking about?
Michelle: I’ll tell you what I’m talking about, Clinton -- look at how angry I get. You went to Boston College, one of the finest colleges in the country, and then Medill [at Northwestern] which I got rejected from as an Undergrad. I’m a little bitter, but tell me everything.
Clinton: They let just about everybody into Grad school there, I think. I don’t know. I mean, I’m not an idiot. I’m also not a super genius. Every time I take an IQ test, I always score one point below genius. I’m really not a genius.
Michelle: That is really smart! Give yourself some credit. I hate when you talk about yourself that way!
Clinton: (joking) I’m worthless! Whatever, I’m kind of smart. I don’t think I’ve lived up to my potential in that regard.
Michelle: Now do you still sing? I know you were in the chorale, right?
Clinton: I still sing a little bit, yeah. I used to sing a lot. I was a singing waiter in Boston. And that was one of my worst jobs ever. I worked on the Spirit of Boston Cruise Ship. It was a dinner cruise ship around Boston Harbor. We had to serve lobster and then, during the dessert service, the band would start playing and the waiters and waitresses would be like “Oh my god it’s time for the show! Oh, I didn’t know it was time for the show!” and then we’d have to run back into the little kitchen area and trade our black bowties in for red sequin bowties. And then we would flip our black vests inside out to reveal the red shiny vests.
Michelle: I am having a heart attack right now. That is the best thing. Is that still running? I will take the Acela to Boston tonight. It sounds amazing.
Clinton: The Spirit of Boston boats still sail, but I don’t think they have the singing waiters on them anymore. The first half of the show was “Salute to Broadway!” and the second half was “Salute to America!” But we would finish hand in hand, arms in the air, singing “God Bless the USA.” People were just throwing money at us, they were like “Wahoo, God bless America!!” It was crazy the money I made.
Michelle: My face is streaked with tears. I am so moved by everything you’re saying. What sort of stuff do you enjoy on television?
Clinton: I only watch crappy VH1 shows to be honest with you.
Michelle: Oh boy.
Clinton: The only shows I watch are Rock of Love, Rock of Love Bus, I Love Money - I can’t believe it’s over. Miami? I had a soul-level connection with Miami.
Michelle: What was it like working with Mario Lopez during the Miss America pageant?
Clinton: It was fine. I don’t know how I feel about being second banana to Mario Lopez.
Michelle: That’s why I respect you. That answer? That’s why you’re the best. Remember that. That’s why you went to Boston College. Where did Mario Lopez go to college out of curiosity?
Clinton: I couldn’t even begin to venture a guess there. He did say that he like my outfit and that he wanted to wear it next year. But he would have to get it in a much smaller size. I’m a 42 long. He’s not.
Michelle: He sure ain’t. One last thing. I once saw you shopping near me, in a store I love. I nearly sh*t my pants because I thought I was being ambushed for the show. I’m not even being funny, I stopped and was like “It’s happening.” I was so scared. Can you even go shopping without frightening people?
Clinton: I do instill fear in people. It’s kind of fun, to be honest with you. It also gets tedious, when I’m not in the mood for it. People are like “Oh you’re here for me aren’t you?!” I’m like “No, I’m actually here to buy underwear.” (laughs) Get off my back bitch! I’m here to buy undies. But it’s funny. I hear all the time, “I wanted to come say hi to you, but I didn’t want you to make a comment on my outfit.” Or people won’t come up to me until they’ve had 5 drinks at a party. But honestly, when I’m not filming “What Not to Wear”, I don’t give a crap what people are wearing.
Michelle: Do you ever offer unsolicited advice?
Clinton: I never do. My policy is, if you’re going to ask me for my opinion, I’m going to give it to you, no holds barred. I’m going to lay it on you. But if you didn’t ask, I’m not going to just criticize you. There’s a switch in my head that I have to turn off sometimes. If I went through life just criticizing everyone that walked by me my head would explode.
Michelle: You’d feel miserable.
Clinton: I’d be miserable! That’s just filling your life with negativity. If you want to hear the truth, can you handle it? That’s the question.
Michelle: I know what I’m getting you for Christmas this year, a taser. Anytime someone gives you a problem, just tase them.
Clinton: How awesome would that be? I am thinking about getting stickers. So if somebody asks me, “What do you think of my outfit?” I can hand them a sticker that says “Clinton Approved” on it.
Michelle: That’s really cute! It’s really twee. It’d be funny for an hour. Then you’ll feel embarrassed for doing it.
Clinton: I know, I’m not going to do it. Maybe if the stickers weren’t so positive, if they said “Clinton says this outfit sucks ass”, then maybe that would be less twee.
Michelle: Now if you had those stickers, I’d be like “Clinty, where are the stickers?” You have absolutely been a treasure and a treat. The premiere is this week?
Clinton: The new season premieres May 29th at 9 PM (Ed. Note: That’s tonight!) And coming up on this season of “What Not to Wear”, we might have our first ever unhappy ending. The woman was not pleased.
Michelle: Oh my gosh! I can’t wait. I’ll be sure to watch. Thank you Clinton!
Be sure to check out tonight's Season Premiere of What Not To Wear starring Mayim Bialik on TLC at 9PM/8C!
