Unlike the novels of Jane Austen or the works of the great filmmaker Michael Patrick King, the story of The Real Housewives of New York City did not end neatly. This is not to say that there was not closure. At the charity event that marked the end of the episode, everyone in the cast seemed genuinely happy and at peace. Jill was exultant at having pulled off the charity event in a recession at a profit, and was looking forward to a cameraless vacation during which she would eat all the French fries she wanted. LuAnn was blissfully distributing dating advice and seduction tips to anyone who would listen. Ramona, fueled by Pinot Grigio, finally got up the gumption to twirl her crush Simon around the dance floor while his wife, Alex, looked on smugly, her face, as usual, suggesting that she was in the midst of a vigorous and satisfying session of Kegels. Even Bethenny and Kelly managed to stand next to each other and clink Champagne glasses to good health and cheer, without rolling their eyes or getting into a long, head-bending fight. But the scrolling text that appeared beside them, which apprised us of their post-filming statuses (one of which has already changed), was a stark reminder to us that these women's stories, unlike the other girlish romances we've enjoyed, will continue on. Their lives will all eventually get messy, as they face human events like heartbreak, illness, and death. This is not just reality television. This is life. Intense.
However, we can provide a happy ending in one respect. We have declared a winner of the season!
First, a review of all of the players:
Photo: BravoTV.com
Jill: It is a testament to the friendship between Jill and Ally that her daughter agreed to have a "birds and the bees" talk with her mom on-camera. "Do you know what 'It' is?" Jill asks the 15-year-old girl, nearly causing the poor child to perish, or at least self-neuter to escape the horror. But then things turn sweet, when Jill assures her: "I'll always tell you what I think, but I'll never judge you." Unfortunately, this is the last moment during the episode in which Jill is appealing. It's not so much that she made a fuss about the Frangelico ads, it's that she was so easily hoodwinked by Ramona, who so obviously wanted to cause a fight between the only other two women on the show who are nice to her. (Also, they didn't replace the ads with anything, which was just petulant.) Jill was also monstrous to Ramona over the credit-card situation, a harridan with Bethenny, and an ungracious host. Choice quote: "Tonight is about me." Also, we think maybe she's been using the word "charity" incorrectly (and far too much) this whole time.
Photo: BravoTV.com
Ramona: Ramona isn't necessarily wrong to say that it's tacky to put their own businesses on the marquee, but let's face it, the thing's already going to be featured on a reality show, which is about as "déclassé" as you can get. Plus, once she mentions the Social Register, she's done for. (When Jill asks her where it is, something amazing happens with her eyes — like you can actually see her dissociating from the moment.) There were, actually, a lot of reasons to like Ramona in this episode: We love her admitted addiction to a certain Italian fermented grape, and the endearing way she thought "limpnoodle" was one word, and pronounced "kudos" "kudooze." Her hair at the fashion show somehow had a life of its own, like it had heard about what Madonna was going to do at the Costume Institute but hadn't yet told Ramona. And her dance with Simon at the end was actually kind of touching. But overall, Ramona's incessant, Pinot Grigio–fueled anger was too much of a turnoff. During the pre-party prep, she looked like she had been attacked by bees, and maybe it was one such errant bee in her hair bonnet that caused her to snipe about Jill while she was asking the crowd to be quiet at the event. But whatever the case, we are not sad to see her go for the summer.
Photo: BravoTV.com
Kelly: After last week's madness, Kelly clearly knew she needed to lay low. Unfortunately, she was impossible to not notice, both in the first part of the episode, wherein she kept appearing in strange, corseted brown outfits that looked as though they had been stolen straight off the back of Gandalf in Lord of the Rings, and later, in an electric-blue sheath that was so tight her breasts were forced to hide in her armpits. That said, she seemed to be making a real effort to be nice to everybody this time around: "There are so many people in New York who are like, 'I'm so rich, I'm so fabulous,' and Jill's not like that," she said, early on. Okay, we're not sure on what scale, but okay. She even found a way to compliment Simon on his fashion obsession: "He's like a little girl about it!" she said (we think she meant that in a good way). But the epilogue about her — which she clearly wrote herself — was just a little too real for our liking. "The courtroom drama driven by Kelly's latest breakup is finally over. She continues to focus on her beautiful children and her writing career." Yeah, that just made us cringe. Even LuAnn knew better than to write about her real-life problems.
Photo: BravoTV.com
LuAnn: Speaking of which! Every single moment of the show in which the count appeared with his countess, we were paralyzed with anus-clenching awkwardness. "He's passionate about hearing," LuAnn explained about her royal husband. "No, he's passionate about an Ethiopian 20-year-old," Chris's roommate replied. And it was true! We were briefly distracted from thinking about the disintegration of this royal marriage when she told the cameras that she'd once lived in Milan and worked with Italian designers. What kind of small economy-car designers was she talking about? we wondered. Then we started thinking about how those people partially own America's auto industry now, and we got sad. And then she brought her husband to the charity event, and the producers superimposed her talking about the "art of seduction" over pictures of her posing with him, and we were reminded, once again, that she makes us sad. Oh, well, LuAnn. Better luck next season. Maybe you can inherit Max from Kelly — he seems to really like pretending to like cougars, and even we could grow to ignore that abdominal scar.
Alex: Unfortunately for Alex, she was overshadowed by Simon this time around. We couldn't bring ourselves to care about the fact that she hadn't sold any tickets, even though if she'd called us we probably would have gone because we have a speeding-train-wreck fetish. But then Simon wore those red pants that explicitly and shinily outlined his choad, and we could pay attention to nothing else. Seriously, how is New York supposed to sleep at night knowing now that Silex's wang is wider than it is long?? Everything after that, from "BURBERRY PRORSUM" to his "Little Jerry" dance moves, could not distract us.
Photo: BravoTV.com
Bethenny: Bethenny starts the episode with her familiar desperation about dating, asking the once-married mother-of-four Rosie for love tips. "Anyone who will listen!" she explains. "I'm going to start talking to François and Johann about dating." Her self-deprecation during the Moroccan fashion show was less appealing (we're thinking specifically of her "phonetic pronunciation" of "Mohamed" and her cultural stereotyping about multiple wives). Also, we were a little startled when, in her first dress, we nearly got a glimpse of her curtained harem. LuAnn was proud of Bethenny's catwalk, claiming that the way she "sashayed down the runway" was "cuter than words." But if we, or RuPaul, had been there, we might have suggested that she "sashay away." The main point about Bethenny, and what actually led her to win the episode, was that she was completely right during the fight about the signs. The liquor company that donated $20,000 in booze deserved to have a few signs up behind the bar, and after Jill and Ramona were done, there were none. Even so, Bethenny made a point to apologize nicely to Jill and help her calm down before her speech — even though no one once apologized to her. And these are all reasons why Bethenny wins not just the episode, but the season. Well, those and the fact that out of all of the women, Bethenny is the only one we can imagine not only tolerating, but actually really wanting to be friends with.
Auxiliary Winners: Jewelry designer Jeri Cohen. Because she assessed Kelly the second she walked into the store and said to her the exact thing she knew she wanted to hear: "When you take enough Percocet, you have freedom, because there is no more pain." Also, her interactions with her dog reminded us of that amazing scene with Eartha Kitt in the Isaac Mizrahi documentary Unzipped. God, we loved that movie. Jeri Cohen's dog: Because howling "I love you," at a woman that terrifying couldn't have been easy. For a split second, he made the exact face people in hostage videos make. Caterer Andrea "Not a Gold Coast Snobby Bitch" Correale: For correctly guessing that Bethenny would be pissed about the signage, and making an effort to stop Ramona and Jill from taking it down. Rosanna: Because she has a hot older boyfriend who loves her. Also, because she used the phrase, "Meeeeesss Bethenny." R. Couri Hay: Because, unlike Lori Levine, this particular power publicist managed to not have his name printed anywhere during the episode. Frankie L'Official: Sorry, we just still think he looks so cute! Artist Hunt Slonem: For the free publicity for one of his endless bird paintings. The Charity Gay With the Eyebrows: Seriously, he was like the Evil Baby on The Simpsons, but smiley.
Anna Sui will be the second established designer, after Alexander McQueen, to do a collection for Target under the Designer Collaboration series. The line hits stores September 13 in 250 select Target stores and will be available through October 17. Target previously brought us lines by up-and-coming designers like Proenza Schouler and Thakoon for the Go International series, but now they're focusing on established names that will motivate not only fashion-savvy customers, but also the masses, to shop, with the ultimate goal of overtaking its arch nemesis, Wal-Mart.
Target hasn't been able to regain the sales momentum it enjoyed when Isaac Mizrahi designed an exclusive collection for the chain. Meanwhile Wal-Mart basks the spoils of 11-year-olds blowing allowances on Hannah Montana–embellished comforters and even more terrifying, Hannah Montana dinner plates. This leaves the more sophisticated Target to rope in the 15- to 34-year-old consumer base. And while 9-year-olds love Hannah Montana, 24-year-olds share a similarly strong passion for Gossip Girl. So, in a stroke of marketing genius, Anna Sui's collection will be inspired by the four ladies of Gossip Girl, Blair, Serena, Jenny, and Vanessa. “When I was in Asia last year, all the young girls kept asking me about the different locations in New York City where the characters from ‘Gossip Girl’ live,” Sui told WWD. She used materials like metallic jacquard, herringbone, silk, and chiffon with tulle, lace, and sequin detailing. This is so exciting! We have faith in her to stay away from Serena's slutty bandage dresses, cheap versions of which always look 500 times sluttier. We could also go without Vanessa's horrible Claire's jewelry.
Sadly, though, probably not the one you're thinking about. With a little more than two months remaining before Michael Jackson kicks off his run of 50 live shows, he is said to be planning to sing a duet with his 12-year-old son, Prince. Also, he is rehearsing for the show in an airport hangar in California and, allegedly, is insisting on performing alongside live animals onstage. [Sun UK]
Kapoor Goes Solo:Mindy Kaling is getting her own show! The writer-producer-actress from The Office (she plays Kelly Kapoor) has signed a two-year, seven-figure deal with NBC, under which she’ll continue to work at her regular job while developing a comedy that she will write and star in. No details yet, although Kaling did say “I've always wanted to do another show about women” (after her WB pilot, Mindy and Brenda). Didn’t we sort of request this? Also, NBC=saved. [Variety]
More Wolverine: Twentieth Century Fox isn’t done squeezing the Wolverine lemon quite yet. Hot on the heels of yesterday’s sequel announcement comes Deadpool, a spinoff starring Ryan Reynolds’s character, a mercenary who undergoes Weapon X genetic-alteration experiment and cancer treatment and comes out crazy and indestructible. This is surely just the beginning; we wouldn’t be surprised if, eventually, Hugh Jackman’s mutton chops get to host their own facial-hair reality contest. [Variety]
Weisz Does Good:Rachel Weisz will star in indie drama The Whistleblower, based on the story of U.N. peacekeeper Kathryn Bolkovac. She’ll play a cop from Nebraska who travels to postwar Bosnia and discovers a sex-trafficking scandal covered up by the U.N. Apparently, after her partner Darren Aronofsky did not even manage an Oscar nomination for The Wrestler, Weisz knows it’s still up to her to bring home the Oscar bacon. [Variety]
Ferrell Settling Down:Will Ferrell and Wedding Crashers director David Dobkin are in talks to join the comedy Neighborhood Watch. Ferrell would play a guy who moves to the suburbs, joins the watch, and then stumbles upon a large conspiracy: a bootleg Will Ferrell–movie-distribution ring. [Variety]
Fantasy Island:Tom McCarthy will direct, and Peter Dinklage will star in HBO’s pilot Game of Thrones. In a removal from McCarthy's realistic indies The Station Agent (starring Dinklage) and The Visitor, Thrones — adapted from George R.R. Martin's "Songs of Fire and Ice" novels by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss — is about an epic power struggle in a violent fantasy kingdom. (Dinklage will play Tyrion, the Queen’s ostracized brother.) Good thing this is a fantasy project — stick to making stuff up, Templeton. [HR]
Mastodon't: The members of Mastodon have written a screenplay based on their concept album, Crack the Skye — which features a quadriplegic and the theories of Stephen Hawking and Rasputin — and have sat down with an unnamed director to discuss an adaptation. But as drummer and lyricist Brann Dailor points out, “It's hard for an A&R guy to go to whoever writes the checks and be like, 'Yeah, this band that sells 150,000 records wants to make a million-dollar movie ... '” On that note, hooray for awesome-sounding things that will never happen! [Billboard]
The other day, when rumors had it that the stress tests were indicating Bank of America and Citigroup would both need to raise up to $10 billion each in capital, Paul Krugman theorized that, probably, someone in the administration was leaking the information, in hopes that it might cushion the blow when results were officially released on Thursday. But now it seems the source of said leaks was really just building us up in order to knock us down. Because today we find out the government thinks Bank of America actually needs to raise triple that amount — $34 billion — in order to cushion itself against the recession, executives at the bank admitted to the Times today. Or else.
If the bank is unable to raise the capital cushion by selling assets or stock, it would have to rely on the government, which has provided $45 billion in capital through the Troubled Asset Relief Program.
It could satisfy regulators’ demands simply by converting non-voting preferred shares it gave the government in return for the capital, into common stock.
But that would make the government one of the bank’s largest shareholders.
Citigroup, on the other hand, looks comparatively fit as a fiddle for only needing to add a mere $5 to $10 billion to their coffers. Which gives us an idea as to who the rumor-starter might have been. (Vikram.)
STARTING TODAY
• Shoes, clothing, and handbags by Loeffler Randall are up to 50 percent off. Prices start at $125 for flats and sandals, $78 for clothing, and $80 for handbags. Through 5/9. 525 Broadway, at Spring St., Ste. 202; W, T, F (10–7), S (11–6).
• Rebecca Minkoff bags are over 50 percent off at the designer's sample sale. Summer dresses and retro-style suits by Abaeté are also marked down. Through 5/10. 33 W. 17th St., nr. Sixth Ave.; daily (10–8).
• Delman's spring collection of shoes is up to 75 percent off. Sandals, gladiators, ballet flats, and more are $89 to $109 (snakeskin heels were $365 but are now $109). Through 5/8. 145 W. 18th St., nr. Seventh Ave.; W, Th (10–7), F (10–3).
• At the Daryl K and Kerrigan trunk show, pre-order the fall 2009 collections for 20 percent off and shop the spring 2009 collection for up to 25 percent off. One day only. 21 Bond St., at Bleecker St. (212-529-8790); 11–8. Wine reception: 4–8.
• Betsey Johnson evening dresses are $75, day dresses are $50, and sportswear is $35 at the designer's sample sale. Through 5/8. Millennium Broadway Hotel, 145 W. 44th St., nr. Broadway, sixth fl. (212-789-7546); daily (10–8).
• Katy Rodriguez's spring 2009 collection is 20 percent off at her trunk show at Resurrection NY. Meet Katy in person today. Through 5/9. 217 Mott St., nr Spring St. (212-625-1374); daily (11–7). Appearance: 2–7.
STARTING TOMORROW
• Twinkle by Wenlan is unloading spring 2009 clothes and jewelry for up to 70 percent off. Vintage-inspired floral dresses are $90 (originally $425), silk tops are $70 (originally $290), hand-knit slouchy dresses are $95 (originally $478), and accessories are $20 (originally $120). Through 5/8. 545 Eighth Ave., nr. 37th St., seventeenth fl.; Th (11–8), F (10–6).
• Get 50 to 70 percent off Tiffany & Co., Gucci, Damiani, Coach, and more jewelry. Expect a mob scene, because this kind of jewelry never goes on sale. Through 5/9. Carlton Hotel, 88 Madison Ave., nr. 28th St.; Th (10–8); F, S (10–6). Click here for more information.
• Monica Botkier's shoes and bags are over 75 percent off. The James tote was $670 and is now $275, the Sasha duffle was $450 and is now $150, and the Bianca satchel was $450 and is now $100. Through 5/10. 172 Mercer St., at Houston St. (646-747-4149); Th (noon–8), F (11–8), S (11–7), Su (11–5).
• Thirty of the world's best jewelry brands, from Bulgari to Kingsley to Boucheron, will be 50 to 90 percent off at the Hush sale. Bulgari clip earrings with amethysts were $4,900, but are now $1,960. Through 5/9. Lighthouse International, 110 E. 60th St., nr. Lexington Ave. (646-442-1628); Th, F (9–7), S (10–5).
• Jewels and toiletries by LAFCO and Guhran are up to 75 percent off wholesale prices. Through 5/8. 161 Sixth Ave., nr. Spring St.; Th (noon–5), F (10–5).
ENDING TOMORROW
• Kooba bags, Gryphon clothes, Milly samples, and Repetto flats are over 50 percent off at this week's Clothing Line sale. Through 5/7. 261 W. 36th St., nr. Seventh Ave. (212-947-8748); M–Th (11–7).
• Cotton shirts by Italian men's brand Domenico Vacca were $590, but are only $159 at the sample sale. Pants that were $780 are now $140, and silk shirts that used to be $790 are now $230. Through 5/7. 14 E. 60th St., nr. Madison Ave., Ste. 900 (212-920-1211); daily (10–6).
ONGOING
• Just in time for bathing suit season, swimwear by Vix and Lisa Curran is on sale — suits start at $65, cover-ups are $30, and flip-flops start at $10. Cash only. Through 5/22. 250 W. 39th St., nr. Seventh Ave., Ste. 510 (212-221-2349); M–F (10–8), S, Su (closed).
AFP - The son of world motorsport chief Max Mosley has been found dead at his London home of a suspected drugs overdose, police and media reports said Wednesday.
AFP - Star French couturier Pierre Cardin, aged 86, is to be released from a hospital in this Mediterranean city after a 48-hour stay caused by high blood pressure, a source close to the designer said Wednesday.
(Reuters) Reuters - Canwest Global Communications Corp, Canada's largest media company, announced yet another extension to lender talks on Wednesday as it fights a massive downturn in the advertising market. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 6 May 2009 | 1:18 pm
Reuters - On the eve of another art auction season staged against a backdrop of chaotic global financial markets, the days of the $300 million dollar sale are over, at least for now.
MOUNT DORA, Fla., May 6 /PRNewswire/ -- The Mount Dora Village Merchants and Business Association Board of Directors and 60 members have signed a petition to show their support... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 6 May 2009 | 1:00 pm
Megastar Classical Pianist is Included in Time's Annual List of 100 Most Influential People in the World and Appears on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" Monday, May 18 ... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 6 May 2009 | 1:00 pm
CHICAGO, May 6 /PRNewswire/ -- Wendella Boats, the original boat tour company in Chicago, invites families to celebrate Mother's Day with this special complimentary offer... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 6 May 2009 | 1:00 pm
• Star Trek fans, feel free to geek out. The new, young, hot Captain Kirk, Chris Pine, waited patiently to finally meet the old one, William Shatner, at some sort of Yeehaw convention....
(AP)
AP - Fashion designer Pierre Cardin has been hospitalized after fainting and falling earlier this week.
Fashion designer Pierre Cardin has been hospitalized after fainting and falling earlier this week. A spokesman for the Cardin fashion house says the designer was taken Tuesday by... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 6 May 2009 | 12:12 pm
Front Page: Off-net deal includes all 78 episodes -- Spike TV has picked up the off-net rights to HBO laffer "Entourage," which will launch on the guy-oriented cabler in January.
AP - Paris Hilton may seem like the ultimate party girl, but she and her handlers swear she's really a globe-trotting workaholic who relentlessly plugs her projects and products.
AP - Paris Hilton may seem like the ultimate party girl, but she and her handlers swear she's really a globe-trotting workaholic who relentlessly plugs her projects and products.
Indie rock favorites Spoon will debut new material from its as-yet-untitled seventh album during a three-night mini-festival at Austin's Stubb's Amphitheater on July 9-11 dubbed SPOONX3.
After a falling out with RCA over the release of their sophomore album "Harmonies for the Haunted," New York rock act stellastarr* is slated to return with "Civilized" on July 7.
Clustered at the top of the Dancing With the Stars leaderboard last night were Melissa Rycroft with 57, and Gilles Marini and Shawn Johnson with 56. Lil' Kim, who stumbled a few times during...
What's even more shocking than Lil' Kim, a Dancing With the Stars favorite this season, getting the boot tonight is what her dancing partner Derek Hough admitted about her backstage after...
It was a rocky road to rock 'n' roll night on American Idol.
Before the cameras started rolling, a piece of the set collapsed and a crew member tripped on the grand staircase...
(Reuters) Reuters - The folks living in the bucolic urban fishing village of City Island in the Bronx should brace themselves for an assault of visitors if Raymond De Felitta's film gets widespread exposure. A comedy of family dysfunction that sneaks up on you despite its wholly predictable elements, "City Island" is a low-key charmer that showcases topliner Andy Garcia's heretofore underutilized comic talents. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 6 May 2009 | 3:16 am
Front Page: 'Office' star to develop her own comedy show -- NBC has Tina Fey-style plans for "The Office's" Mindy Kaling, signing the multihyphenate to an overall deal with the Peacock and Universal Media Studios.
Front Page: Fox has begun development on 'Deadpool' -- Twentieth Century Fox has begun development on "Deadpool," an "X-Men" spinoff that will be crafted as a star vehicle for Ryan Reynolds, who played the character in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine."
Front Page: Kondracki to make feature directorial debut -- Rachel Weisz has signed on to star in indie political drama "The Whistleblower" in a part recalling the thesp's role as a crusading truth-seeker in "The Constant Gardener."
(Reuters) Reuters - This film is described in the opening credits as a "Barry Levinson Film Essay," and like so many literary essays, "Poliwood" has a tendency to ramble even while offering many interesting ideas. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 6 May 2009 | 1:40 am
Reuters - There was an appropriate egalitarianism on display Sunday at the 90th birthday tribute concert to Pete Seeger at Madison Square Garden. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 6 May 2009 | 1:38 am
Miss California wanted to be in the public eye—now the public is getting an eyeful of Miss California.
The first of a reputed six racy photos of Carrie Prejean, donning little more...
"There's still time for the Minnesota courts to do justice and declare Norm Coleman the winner." — Arlen Specter, hopefully trying too hard to prove his maverick-y independence in an interview with the New York Times Magazine. [HuffPo]
You've all heard by now that Rihanna returned to the red carpet last night at the Costume Institute Gala in New York City.
Once inside the Metropolitan Museum of Art, she sat at...
After a three-month suspension from the U.S. swim team for getting photographed smoking marijuana, Michael Phelps officially returned to the pool today. And, can we just say, it's not a moment too soon. He's lost twenty pounds of muscle in the past two months! He couldn't even crack a walnut between those pecs now. (Luckily, though, you could still exfoliate your face with his abdominal terrain.) Phelps, for his part, says he didn't even realize his ban was over, but will compete next week in a meet in Charlotte, N.C., for the first time since he won eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics and proved every other athlete in the world obsolete. (We wonder if other swimmers can hear him chuckling through the water as they inhale his wake of bubbles?) "I'm happy to be back in the water and be back in semi-shape," he said. "We'll see how it goes ... I'm happy to have some structure back in my life." No offense, Mikey, but screw your life. Get some structure back in those boobs.
If you're familiar with the oeuvre of Los Angeles Times reporter Tom O'Neil, you'll know that he has an uncanny and unrivaled ability to work an awards angle into just about any story. Case in point? His obit for Dom DeLuise reveals that the comedian took home a Razzie for his work in 1986's Haunted Honeymoon. For Worst Actress, no less. You've done it again, Tom! [Gold Derby/LAT]
Lindsay Lohan and her little sister Ali pose for the cameras at Teen.com TV's Haute and Bothered event yesterday in Los Angeles. Fifteen-year-old Ali is wearing a sequined black-and-white crop top.
So as not to expose the team to what one source calls the “bad vibes” emanating from the local tabloids, the Mets will no longer provide copies of the Post or Daily News in the Citi Field clubhouse. This is considerably easier than ceasing to produce cause for said bad vibes. (Officially, they say they'll now only provide USA Today so as not to play favorites among the local papers.) Awesomely, this story was reported by the Post under the headline, “Sensitive Mets Won’t Be Reading This Mean Old Story,” which apparently isn’t even as good as their original choice. [NYP]
According to a report from an after-party following last night's Met ball, 24 star Kiefer Sutherland allegedly head-butted designer Jack McCollough hard enough to break his nose. [Cut]
At the Lucille Lortel Awards this week, Ugly Betty star Mark Indelicato tried to explain away his addiction to Gossip Girl. "I'm a teenager," he told us. "I'm obligated to watch it." Please. Watching Gossip Girl is not an obligation. It's a pleasure and an honor. Own it, Mark. View our Party Lines slideshow for more from the awards.
Michelle Obama celebrated Cinco de Mayo yesterday in argyle. Today, for a Cinco de Mayo event in the White House, she wore a dress roughly the color of the margaritas you'll (hopefully) be drinking in a few minutes. But who cares about that when, after that function, MObama jetted to New York! Wearing a different dress! It's the same dress she wore the morning after the inauguration. But who cares? She's in town! Any one of us could see her in the flesh any minute! See the full looks in the Michelle Obama Look Book.
Hapless soft-rock combo Coldplay has been accused of plagiarizing their 2008 hit "Viva la Vida" — again! Following similar claims by guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani and Brooklyn band the Creaky Boards, Cat Stevens says that one of his songs was the basis for Chris Martin's iTunes-advertising single. Like those other tracks whose hooks Coldplay also obviously appropriated, Stevens's "Foreigner Suite" is yet another perfect match, which should no doubt make the division of royalties interesting.
Here's a comparison between "Viva La Vida" and Stevens's "Foreigner Suite":
Here's "Viva la Vida" and the Creaky Boards' "Songs I Didn't Write":
And here's "Viva la Vida" and Joe Satriani's "If I Could Fly":
We anxiously await the announcement of the next artist who wrote "Viva la Vida" first.
Maybe the Bush administration's quiet phone campaign to urge the Department of Justice into going easy on the lawyers who crafted the legal documents clearing the way for controversial interrogation methods actually worked. According to the Times, "an internal Justice Department inquiry into the conduct of Bush administration lawyers who wrote secret memorandums authorizing brutal interrogations has concluded that the authors committed serious lapses of judgment but should not be criminally prosecuted, according to government officials briefed on a draft of the findings." The 220-page Office of Professional Responsibility report, which is still in draft form now and has yet to be signed by attorney general Eric Holder, will likely end up recommending instead that the conduct of the lawyers be individually reviewed by state bar associations and that disciplinary actions or even disbarment be considered.
• Finally an explanation for Jessica Simpson on the cover of Vanity Fair. The mag's PR director says, "She's at a crossroads in her career" and "says a lot about the...
Dom DeLuise, who spiced up such movies as "Blazing Saddles," "Silent Movie" and "The Cannonball Run" with his manic delivery and roly-poly persona, has died, CNN has confirmed.
Miss California USA Carrie Prejean "breached her contract" by keeping semi-nude photos a secret and could be stripped of her beauty queen title, according to a state pageant spokesman.
Like Kelly Killoren Bensimon, the former governor loves to stand in front of cabs.
One nice thing about not being the governor of New York: Instead of attending to state business, you can spend a rainy Tuesday afternoon sipping wine spritzer and learning more about how we ended up going to war in Iraq.
So it was that Eliot Spitzer showed up at the home of Tina Brown and Harry Evans earlier today for a luncheon discussion with former Bush administration official Richard Haass, author of the new book War of Necessity, War of Choice. Spitzer has been hard at work lately refashioning himself as a writer-commentator, and before lunch he huddled in the hallway talking shop with two of his new Fourth Estate peers, ABC News president David Westin and reformed gossip columnist Lloyd Grove.
Democratic fund-raiser Robert Zimmerman hailed Spitzer on his way in: "It's good to see you back."
"I'm not back," Spitzer said. "I just showed up for lunch."
Now that he's a journalist, we figured, Spitzer must pay attention to stuff like the Pulitzer Prizes, right? So we asked: Did he think the New York Times deserved the Pulitzer it won for coverage of his sex scandal? "Oh, I, I — one thing I certainly don't do is pass judgment on the media, any aspect of it," he replied. Gesturing to Westin, he added, "especially when the dean of the media is standing right here."
As it happens, the dean was also a recent subject — victim? — of the Times' zeal: Last week the paper took ABC to task for Brian Ross's gullible 2007 interview of a CIA officer who misrepresented the agency's use of waterboarding. Westin said the network had done all the soul-searching it needed to. "We were all misled, including the New York Times," he said. "Listen, investigative reporting always involves taking aggressive positions, and there are people who want to mislead you and people who want to criticize you. That's inherent in investigative reporting. The worst thing we could do would be to pull back."
Then it was time for lunch, and a Q&A with Haass, conducted by Evans, editor-at-large of The Week, which sponsored the event. Now president of the Council on Foreign Relations, Haass repeatedly insisted that George W. Bush was not so much the victim of bad advice from the likes of Dick Cheney as of his own faulty instincts. "It's a mistake to see Bush's presidency as hijacked," he said. His elaboration on this theme was interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone that turned out to belong to Lesley Stahl60 Minutes producer Vicki Gordon who had trouble locating the offending device within her voluminous handbag. "This is why they call her show 60 Minutes," Haass quipped. "Because it takes her 60 minutes to find her phone."
Lunch ended, the guests made their way back into the afternoon drizzle, and the downside of being an ex-governor quickly became apparent: While others had Town Cars waiting for them, Spitzer was without a ride. Fortunately, a new colleague came to the rescue: Richard Cohen hailed a cab and they both jumped in.
Ha, this advice, yelled by CNBC's Rick Santelli to his colleague Steve Liesman today, kind of reminds us of that time Lindsay Lohan did that public service announcement telling kids not to drink and do drugs. [Business Insider]
WWWD, the parody of WWD that debuted during Fashion Week, has come out with a second issue. And this one's a Met-ball special! A sample: "Emmanuelle Alt shrieked in horror before fainting on the Met steps after spotting a 'terrorist' on the premises — her majesty Queen Rania of Jordan, who sported last year's Prada turban to the event." And they have video this time! Including a glimpse inside Madonna's secret lair and a retrospective of André Leon Talley's capes. To get WWWD in your in-box, sign up for the biweekly newsletter here. View the full second issue here.
Did you think that Alvin eating a piece of Theodore's feces in the trailer for the 2007 feature-film version of Alvin and the Chipmunks was the farthest the franchise could fall? Well then, you better not listen to this slowed-down version of "Bad Day" from the 2007 movie, which allows you to hear the actual voices of the voice-over artists behind the CGI rodents. *Shudder*! [YouTube via Buzzfeed]
It would be pretty funny if a gynecologist named "Dr. Michael Bummer" rolled onto The Price is Right in a Steeler jersey with a taped-on personalized nameplate and bid "$69" instead of "$1" because 69 has a sexual term associated with it and he is a doctor of reproductive organs and then he ended up winning, wouldn't it?
Of course it would. But it would never happen:
Owing to his vaunted status as the person on the Guitar Hero III box, Velvet Revolver and Guns N' Roses guitarist Slash has been drafted by American Idol producers to mentor the surviving four contestants on tonight's episode ("Rock Night," ostensibly). As far as we know, Saul Hudson's never been much of a singer (we think he might've wheezed his way through a track or two on The Spaghetti Incident?, but that's it). So what wisdom will he impart to a bunch of aspiring pop vocalists? We opened his 2007 autobiography, Slash, to random pages for clues.
To photogenic finalist Kris Allen:
"I pounded as much Jack as I could stomach, then I tore the bus apart searching in vain for my sunglasses. I checked myself in the mirror, took a few deep breaths, and headed outside as nonchalantly as possible. I strolled over to Joe trying not to twitch, hoping that my smile looked more relaxed than it felt. Coke makes you paranoid and this particular batch was some speedy, New Jersey, stepped-on Sopranos coke so it was hard to hide the effects... Every time I see the resulting picture of us, I have to laugh because anyone who knows me at all knows I never smile like that or ever hold myself quite so stiffly. Somehow I managed to keep my jaw in line, but it wanted to swing like a barn door in the wind."
To phlegmy-voiced, stage-presence-deficient Danny Gokey:
"The audience was full-on punk and still bloodthirsty after just having seen Social Distortion. We got up there and ripped into our set, and within the first thirty seconds, the show became a spitting contest between us and the first five rows: their fans fucking spit on us, so we just spit on them back. It was hilarious and memorably sickening ... We ended up with green phlegm all over us, and considering that it was warm out, not only was I shirtless, but the heat cooked the spit and made it start to smell pretty bad. It didn't matter, I was impenetrable: in the moment, the energy of it all took over."
To 17-year-old contestant Allison Iraheta, who will probably be voted off this week or next, on the importance of completing high school:
"After my incomplete stint at high school, I lived with my mother and grandmother in a house on Melrose and Cienega in a small basement room off the garage. If need be, I could slip out of the street-level window undetected at any time of day or night. I had my snakes and my cats down there. It was perfect for me."
To drama queen and presumed front-runner Adam Lambert:
"I mentioned in the least confrontational way, that [Axl] should probably apologize to [my grandmother] for telling her to fuck off. I hadn't known Axl that long, but I already knew him well enough to understand that he was a sensitive, introspective person who endured serious mood swings, so I chose my words carefully and presented the issue in a very nonjudgmental, objective tone ... We were driving on Santa Monica Boulevard, doing about forty miles an hour, when suddenly, he opened the car door and jumped out without a word ... Axl is a dramatic kind of individual ... He got a reputation for being volatile and flying off the handle. I'd been out with him several nights where we got into these major fucking fights with total strangers for no reason at all ... It was a hell of a lot of fun."
FRAGRANCE
• The new commercial for Chanel No. 5 starring Audrey Tautou, which cost over $4 million to produce (and is being advertised on this site), finally launched on Chanel's website today. [ChanelN5 via Sassybella]
SKIN
• Brooke Shields told More magazine, "I always find it funny that so much skin-cream advertising features, like, Jessica Alba. She's gorgeous and 12!" A 12-year-old with a baby, Brooke. [NYP]
MAKEUP
• What would Kat Von D look like without tattoos? She covered her whole body with concealer from her own cosmetics line sold at Sephora to sate the world's longing for an answer to that question. [Beauty and the Blog/Sephora]
• Designer Lela Rose created a makeup bag for Beauty.com. It's filled with $150 of makeup and comes free with any purchase over $100. [BellaSugar]
Jessica Szohr has gotten her self into some fishy business.
I can exclusively reveal that the Gossip Girl starlet has snagged a role in Piranha 3-D, an upcoming remake of the 1978 cult...
Two words we have never considered putting together in our wildest dreams are "Donny Osmond" and "Sexy." Donny Osmond is handsome, sure, but he's just so damn squeaky clean. That is, until the high-wasted pants come off and the loin cloth goes one. Because Donny Osmond as Jesus Christ is an Osmond I can get behind, and one that can definitely get behind me. (No need to mention any "drift catching" as this is pretty obvious... it's more like a crashing wave.) His body! That hair! The voice! Sure, he actually thinks he's Jesus, but no matter: Jesus Osmond Christ is sexy as all get out.
(ps: Loving the blog theme today... ice-skating and musicals.) Source: Best Week Ever | 5 May 2009 | 9:06 pm
Sure, they may be out of office, but that doesn't mean Bush administration officials can't still engage in one of their favorite former pastimes — trying to influence the Justice Department! The Washington Post reports that as the Justice Department wraps up a five-year ethics probe into the Office of Legal Council lawyers who wrote the memos authorizing torture, attorneys for the probe's targets are asking senior Bush appointees "to write and phone Justice Department officials" to try to "soften" the report. [WP]
In the most bizarre news from last night's Met gala, Kiefer Sutherland allegedly head-butted Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough so hard he broke his nose at an after-party at SubMercer. McCollough had to go to the hospital, where, according to Guest of a Guest, he remained at around 1 p.m. today. Proenza reps were unable to confirm the report. Guest of a Guest writes, "While guests like Mary-Kate Olsen (who hit up more than one party of course), and Kirsten Dunst looked on, the actor apparently was upset over Brooke Shields." Your guess is as good as ours as to what that means. [Guest of a Guest]
Even though we're almost through with the fourth season of How I Met Your Mother, we're still no closer to learning the identity of the show's titular mother (heh, titular mother). The show's creators have thrown plenty of red herrings our way over the years, as everyone from Cobie Smulders to Sarah Chalke to Aynsley Bubbico has developed a serious romantic relationship with the show's central narrator, one Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor). However, last night's episode concluded with a somewhat shocking reveal of someone who, wait for it, just might be the eponymous mother! If you're not afraid of potential SPOILERS, then you should follow along.
At the end of last night's episode, during a closing montage set to Guided By Voices' power-pop anthem "Glad Girls," Ted Mosby was shown carrying that fateful yellow umbrella (HIMYM fans know what we're talking about) through the CBS back lot streets of New York, when he bumped into his ex-fiancée, Stella (played by Sarah Chalke). Oh my gosh, right? Not surprisingly, Michael "Raisin Bran" Ausiello was able to get some scoop from the show's co-creator and executive producer, Carter Bays, about Chalke's surprise appearance. Unfortunately, though, Bays didn't quite fess up; rather, he told Ausiello that "I won't say whether she's the mother or not, [but] we were definitely very careful in the wording of the narration. Obviously, we're not going to say, 'Okay, here she is! Show's over.'"
Crap! What did you, the loyal HIMYM fan base, think about last night's episode? Is this yet another red herring? Can the show endure another run of relationship-heavy episodes with Ted and Stella? And who's the mother, damn it?
Are you worried that Apple buying Twitter might kill it? No need, it's already dead. It passed away last night during this discussion between geriatric twatterers Larry King and Barbara Walters about their Twitter names:
Since the last few years have seen everyone from the Pixies to Led Zeppelin getting back together, you might think there are no big bands left to reunite. Well, you'd be wrong: Late-eighties Swedish pop demigods Roxette are set to reunite in October at the Night of the Proms festival in Antwerp, Belgium. Phew, now we can go back to focusing on convincing Stephen Patrick Morrissey, Johnny Marr, Andy Rourke, and Mike Joyce to start talking to each other again! [AP]
Paula Abdul has seemed kind of out of it for a while now and it's always been rather amusing, but the American Idol judge tells the June issue of Ladies' Home Journal that we were the only...
AP - Marilyn French, the writer and feminist whose novel "The Women's Room" sold more than 20 million copies and transformed her into a leading figure in the women's movement, has died at 79. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 5 May 2009 | 8:20 pm
When asked at the Costume Institute Gala last night how it feels to be a museum-worthy model, Kate Moss replied, “I’m amused. I think it’s quite interesting for somebody to go outside of the box and think that a model actually has had some input into fashion. A lot of the time, the models don’t really get a say.” [NYT]
Front Page: Co-presidents sign deal for another four years -- Sony Pictures Classics co-presidents Michael Barker and Tom Bernard are heading to the Cannes Film Festival with a deal to remain at Sony Pictures Entertainment for another four years.
No doubt tired of the misinformation about her condition circulated by everyone from the media to her own son, Farrah Fawcett is taking control of her life story, teaming up with NBC News for a...
Ninette Van Kamp makes underwear that presses rhinestone flower patterns into ass flesh. All you have to do is sit down. Technology these days ... [Random Good Stuff via Jezebel]
The MTV Movie Award nominees were just announced, and wouldn't you know it, The Dark Knight was actually nominated for "Best Movie," unlike some other awards shows. As we all know, a landmark heart-attack-inducing action movie with ridiculous special effects and stunts and a disturbing storyline and phenomenal acting just can never be as noteworthy as a completely ok history-related thing, forcing me to again revisit the question -- do the MTV Movie Awards get it right more often than the Oscars?
Your 2009 MTV Movie Award "Best Movie" Nominees:
I conducted this comprehensive scientific study a year ago and concluded that while the MTV Awards had indeed picked better "Best Movie" winners than The Oscars on many occasions, they've slipped badly with their back-to-back Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and Transformers selections the past two years. This year's MTV Movie Awards can take this argument in three different directions:
1)The Dark Knight wins "Best Movie," upholding the MTV Awards' ability to look past a movie's blockbuster label and simply reward really awesome movies for being really awesome movies. I greatly enjoyed Slumdog Millionaire and was glad it won the Oscar, but I'm still bitter Dark Knight and WALL-E weren't even in the Best Picture discussion, and an MTV Award win would go for some slight redemption.
2)Slumdog Millionaire wins "Best Movie," and for the third time in history, the Oscars and MTV Awards overlap (the previous two were Titanic and LOTR: Return of the King). This would mark an odd turn towards the semi-artsy for the MTV Awards, but I'd also be intrigued by this outcome.
3)High School Musical 3 or Twilight wins "Best Movie." Oscars triumph for the third straight year. I've excluded the fifth nominee, Iron Man, from the discussion, cause I imagine anyone who'd vote for it in the first place would just vote for Dark Knight instead, even though it was also highly enjoyable.
My prediction? Twilight, obviously. Though voting is currently open, and if I figure out how to set up a spambot, Dark Knight may finally get the recognition that I care way too much about it getting. Until my MTV-teen spambot becomes self-aware, then it'll start voting for Twilight anyway and everything will backfire.
MTV Movie Awards thoughts/predictions? Leave 'em in the comments. Source: Best Week Ever | 5 May 2009 | 7:50 pm
A happy couple makes progress on the road to true love.
A fable: When we were in the eleventh grade, we liked a boy. Something about his leather jacket and backwards cap really got us. And he liked us back! But then another (physically stronger) girl who also liked him got very angry about this. Angry enough to push us into the lockers outside of our AP American History class. Which hurt. So we decided she could have him. And now they're married and have a little baby, whom we've seen on Facebook. The moral of the story is that you really shouldn't compete with other girls over a stupid boy. Especially on national TV. Especially over boys like Brody and Spencer. Especially with girls who've posed nude. Which brings us to this week's Hills!
First, we’ll deal with Speidi. Heidi tells her "work friend" Kimberly (and we should note: Their "workwear" consists of Heidi’s seventeen-inch platforms and Kimberly’s butt-cheek-grazing dress) that she found a text on Spencer’s phone from Stacie the Muppet bartender, asking if he was coming to H-Wood tonight. So she’s going to lie in wait at H-Wood to see if he shows. Stephanie and Holly (did she ever find a job?) join Heidi at H-Wood that night, and the three of them sit there like idiots waiting to pounce on Spencer (who never comes). Stephanie still hasn’t showered, is wearing some huge flower/cobra thing wrapped around her neck, and is sporting orange blush. Poor girl. They spot Stacie and her friends at another table, and Stacie waves nastily at Heidi. “She’s deliberately trying to do this!” fumes Heidi. Stephanie follows up with: “Deliberately! Malicious! Deliberate! Skankily!” Ha, Steph — you’re so funny when you’re on drugs.
This incident provides a nice segue into Speidi's couples therapy with Dr. Jordana Mansbacher. Here’s some important info from her website, for anyone who isn’t as lame as we are and didn’t automatically Google her: She received her doctorate from California Southern University, which offers online degrees. Heidi and Spencer argue about privacy versus cheating, or whatever, and we find out that Heidi actually erased Stacie’s text before Spencer even saw it. So why was she going to H-Wood to wait for him, if he never got the message? It’s too annoying to dwell on, as is this whole sequence. We end with Spencer in therapy alone, lamenting the fact that “we’ve become one person, instead of two.” He’s not sure he can curb his nightlife to save the relationship, though. Mansbacher looks disturbed — her online degree didn’t cover this kind of dysfunction.
On to the episode's other fight: It’s Audrina versus Jayde, the ultimate clash of fake breasts and empty heads, dealing with the fallout of Audrina innocently sleeping in Brody's bed while they were in Hawaii. Frankie and Brody host an indoor sunglasses-wearing party (that must be the theme, right?), and Audrina shows up. Jayde, dressed as a naughty farm girl, freaks out, and her friend Jo threatens to fight Audrina for her. Lauren, meanwhile, is content to play Wii Tennis, badly. Jo confronts Aud about Brody and Jayde. “How long have you known that them two have been together?” she asks — and we have a competition on our hands for worst grammarian of The Hills. Jayde bullies Audrina until she leaves the party, Brody stands around looking useless, and Jayde then chugs some Jägermeister. Yeesh. Then they all go out to another club, Jayde chugs Jäger again, and starts screaming at Audrina. “Her fucking psycho ass started this,” she yells. Audrina's not having it: “Obviously you’re insecure. I’m over it! Jayde, you have problems!” Go, Audrina! Then Aud, clearly on a roll, calls Brody “pussy-whipped.” This goes on for a while, and Jayde threatens violence the next time she sees Aud. The whole scene is so gross and degrading to women that we’re just going to stop. Oh, last thing, Jayde is wearing a tie-dyed, evil-hippie dress. She is SO not about peace and understanding, that one.
At lunch the next day, Audrina and her hat recount the drama to Lo and Lauren. “Playmates bring the drama!” says Lauren, who then goes to personally reprimand Brody for being such a d-bag. Brody plays dumb, and blames Audrina for the whole mess. “It wouldn’t be the first time we sacrifice our friends for the one we love,” says Lauren. She is very deep, you know.
And now, our Unequivocal Hills Reality Index:
As real as a Jägermeister-fueled girl fight:
• Jayde’s blind rage. It’s real and scary.
• Jo’s blind rage. What happened to these girls when they were little to make them so mean?
• The fact that Heidi looks at Spencer’s text messages. Why wouldn’t she?
As fake as a platonic night spent in Brody’s bed:
• Spencer's going to therapy alone? We don’t think so.
• The whole "sabotage at H-Wood" plotline. Please stop with this, Hills producers. We beg of you.
• Jayde’s face, body, and love for Brody.
Fashion Wire Daily - While seeing the face of a celebrity on the cover of a fashion magazine or starring in an advertising campaign for Louis Vuitton is the rule, rather than the exception these days, once upon a time it was the professional model who brought the collections of designers like Christian Dior, Cristobal Balenciaga, Yves Saint Laurent, Halston and Calvin Klein to the public, and to life.
The statue of the 16th President of the US Abraham Lincoln is seen inside the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC. A museum in Philadelphia that possesses a sample of Abraham Lincoln's blood plans to submit... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 5 May 2009 | 6:52 pm
It is the most popular photograph in history: Argentine revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara stares pensively at the horizon, his steely eyes shielded behind a thick beard and his trademark beret. The shot -- taken by Cuban photographer Alberto Korda in Havana on March 5, 1960 -- turned the charismatic and controversial leader into a cultural icon.
We know what some of you are thinking: Ice skating is already pretty gay. (Which, let's face it, is why you love it.) The outfits, the spins, the footwork, the music - it's a love affair of rosy cheeks; an ice dance from a fairy tale. And while we recently claimed that the opening credits to "Any Dream Will Do" may be the gayest thing out there, we would like to replace that claim with the following performance which is, easily, the gayest thing we've ever seen (again, all meant in a good way.) Ice Skater Johnny Weir choreographed a skate routine to Lady Gaga's infectious hit "Pokerface". And in the routine, he dons his best costume -- a relic found inside the body cavity of Liberace's ghost corpse -- and puts on his best eye make-up -- inspired by a swab taken of Mesach Taylor's bed linens -- to bring to the world the fiercest thing anyone has ever done on ice since Ben Stiller'sScorcher series. This is the most fabulous thing we've ever seen.
Oh, and if you're wondering how to butch up figure skating... we've got the answer after the jump.
Answer? Just have Evgeni Plushenko do everything. Like the following performance, which ranks #1 on our "LOLs per second" list.
Dom DeLuise, the legendary comic actor perhaps best known for his seventy-five or so roles in Mel Brooks' movies (as well as appearances in Cannonball Run and An American Tail) has passed away at the age of 75.
For the record, Chef Paul Prudhomme is still alive, proving that they are not, in fact, the same person.
I couldn't find any good clips online from Silent Movie, my favorite Brooks/DeLuise vehicle (and one of my favorite movies ever, period), so for video-obit purposes, you'll have to just make due with this clip of DeLuise's Brando impression from Robin Hood: Men In Tights, which absolutely floored me when I was 10 (though granted, any time I actually understood a reference at that age, I celebrated):
You'll be missed, Dom -- this death is far more tragic than Pizza The Hutt eating himself to death while locked in his car. Source: Best Week Ever | 5 May 2009 | 5:25 pm
A multigenerational who's who of magazine cover girlsfrom Lauren Hutton to Gisele to Tyra Bankswore wild creations from today's hottest designers Source: FOXNews.com | 5 May 2009 | 5:02 pm
When "La Bamba" hit movie screens in 1987, audiences flocked to see the true story of singer Ritchie Valens. The film, which was the first box office hit directed by a Latino filmmaker and starring mostly Latino actors, is part of the Latino Images in Film festival, which begins Tuesday.
Tim Roth's "Lie to Me" character, Dr. Cal Lightman, is an expert on body language and the detection of deception. The show is one of the season's few successful new dramas.
I was a Theater major in college, and I've probably attended or been involved with about a hundred musicals in my lifetime, and thoroughly enjoy the form; I mention this not to pretend that I'm inherently entitled to talk about theatrical matters (far from it, actually - the major required like seven theater credits), but just to make it clear off the bat that I'm not just some dudey dude who got dragged to Phantom once by a girl I was totally trying to bang and came out saying "musicals are totally gay."
So believe me, ignorance is not my motivating factor when I say again as I've said many times in my life, The Tonys are completely effing pointless.
I have nothing against the Tonys Ceremony, but the actual Tony Award itself is just borderline meaningless. The Oscars are already super-political and backwards, but imagine how additionally pointless they would be if only about five movies got released every given year, and you could only watch them in New York City, and the medium of film was struggling so badly to turn a profit that studios would only ever think to greenlight big-name, big-budget star vehicles that tourists would pay $120 per ticket to see.
The result? The Billy Elliot musical got FIFTEEN TONY NOMINATIONS. Fifteen. As in, the number in the title of that Nickelodeon show "Fifteen," times one. That's one more nomination than Titanic received, which is...well, a comparably stupid fact.
Rather than continue some unfunny long-winded rant about the Tonys, I ask you to just watch the following clip and ask yourself - does the thing that is occurring here deserve to be seen by human beings, let alone honored fifteen times?
If you missed last week's episode of Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins, you missed Anoop Desai ending the curse of Quentin Tarantino, Alex Trebek finally snapping on Jeopardy, and Chuck Bass shooting hoops in his "street clothes." Luckily, you can catch up on the week's best moments with the full episode right here:
This seemed to be the question I kept asking myself during the rousing and completely infuriating ending to last night's Amazing Race pre-season finale episode. The season had dwindled down to the Top 4 remaining teams, after last week's surprising non-elimination episode, where the leg just kept on going. So this was it: We were to determine the final 3 who would race for $1 million.
Now, out of the 4 teams that were left, let's face it: Only two were mildly tolerable. You had the adorable Chinese sister and brother team, Tammy and Victor, who struck gold these last couple of weeks as the challenges have all taken place in China, and Keisha and Jen, another sibling twosome who, despite a crushing fear of water and deaf people, have remained likable even through the hardest of challenges. And then, the other two teams: Luke and Margie, the deaf son and overbearing, prune-faced mother, who prove that even people with disabilities can be giant assh*les, and the red-headed cheerleaders who hate all other cultures and decided to go on a race around the world, Cara and Jaime. Oh, how we loathe Cara and Jaime. Specifically Jaime.
Ahead, the recap continues -- with video -- and a question for the ages: Would You Pee Yourself On National Television For $1 Million?Keisha and Jen came in 4th last week during the elimination fake-out, so they were already at a disadvantage. And then, Tammy and Victor had the nerve to "U-Turn" them, forcing them to complete the other half of the "Detour" challenge. They should have U-turned Luke and Margie, because even though the sisters might be fast runners, they are also not psychopathic blood-thirsty race winners. But K&J stayed strong, and even managed to show-up at the Road Block in 3rd place.
Oh, and that Road Block: One member of the teams was forced to eat deep fried crickets, larvae, starfish, a whole shmorgasbord of oil-infused creepy crawlies. But, for the first time in Race history, not a single-team moaned and groaned about consuming these things. Whereas I would have been curled up on the ground like a half-dead caterpillar, the teams stayed strong: Only Jen needed the help of water to force the goods down, stopping momentarily to barf and then continued as regularly scheduled. Even the cheerleader -- THE CHEERLEADER -- powered through with nary a complaint. They really must be hungry.
But still, Keisha and Jen powered through. They finished the eating challenge and cabbed it over to the Bird's Nest, the famously beautiful Olympic stadium where Phil and his fateful map would be waiting. And despite what those crafty Race editors would have you believe, it really seemed like K&J would make it into the Top 3 teams, despite all the obstacles that stood in their way. And then? Then...
Jen had to pee. Real bad. I mean, Jen really had to go. Wearing an opera kimono and a face full of makeup that would have Princess Amidala reaching for the Noxema. And Keisha, being the supportive older sister, ALLOWED HER. Let us relive that moment together, yes?
If it were my ass on the line, I would have dragged her and her exploding bladder to the mat and let nature take its course. But no. Jen peed. And in the interim, the red-headed cheerleaders whom America has come to despise go to the mat first... and Keisha and Jen were eliminated. Now, to be fair, it looked like their cabbie dropped them off quite a bit further from the mat than the other teams, but still. We blame the sisters.
Which leads us to today's Open Thread topic: How many of you would have peed yourself on national television for a shot at $1 million? While wearing a practically floor length kimono? Especially after you already barfed on TV? I'd like to think I would have, but we are still people and not animals, right?
I would have. Even if it meant that Phil had to see a stream of urine puddling at the anks. And now? We've only got Tammy and Victor left.
(Watch the full episode here if you missed it.) Source: Best Week Ever | 5 May 2009 | 3:53 pm
Filming for a new Nicolas Cage movie got a bit out of hand when a car chase sequence in Times Square resulted in a Ferrari injuring two pedestrians and crashing into a Sbarro's -- and if you think you know where this story is headed, read on, because it gets way better:
...A car jumped a curb during a film shoot and smashed into the entrance of a Times Square restaurant, injuring two people, police and witnesses said...
"A black Ferrari and a silver Mercedes were chasing each other," [a tourist] said.
"The Ferrari took a sharp right to the left and lost it, swerving across the lanes, taking out a lamppost and a news stand.
Sounds like your standard, funny "stunt gone awry but no one was killed so we can laugh about it" movie set anecdote, until this WTF curveball:
The movie, titled The Sorcerer's Apprentice, is based on the classic Mickey Mouse sequence in Walt Disney's 1940 Fantasia...in which the famous rodent is nearly drowned when he dons the magic hat of his wizardly employer.
In this version, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, Cage plays the sorcerer, who recruits a reluctant college student (Jay Baruchel).
Jerry Bruckheimer is producing a remake of The Sorcerer's Apprentice starring Nicolas Cage and involving a car chase sequence that went awry and almost killed pedestrians? Is this a MAD TV sketch? How is any of this information even close to real?
Can't wait to see what Bruckheimer does to Dumbo, but I imagine it'll involve the words "CGI" and "Helicopter explosion". Source: Best Week Ever | 5 May 2009 | 3:45 pm
Joe Bonamassa, the American DIY guitar whiz who has been voted "Best Blues Guitarist" by Guitar Player magazine three years in a row, was still buzzing the day after playing with Eric Clapton at London's Royal Albert Hall.
A bust of Queen Nefertiti of Egypt in 2005 in Berlin's Altes Museum. The bust, believed to be 3,400 years old, in fact is a copy dating from 1912 that was made to test pigments used by the ancient Egyptians,... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 5 May 2009 | 2:39 pm
Cox, who is supposedly best pals with her former 'Friends' co-star Jennifer Aniston, was spotted chatting with Aniston's ex-husband Brad Pitt at a concert Sunday night. Source: FOXNews.com | 5 May 2009 | 2:10 pm
Interpol's lead singer, lyricist and guitarist Paul Banks will release a solo album under the name Julian Plenti, according to the Matador Records blog. The new project, "Skyscraper," will be released on August 4th.
Author James Frey, famous for his embellished memoirs, claims to have embarrassing secret audiotapes of talk show queen Source: FOXNews.com | 5 May 2009 | 1:43 pm
Wilco revisits the unpredictable leanings of "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" and "A Ghost Is Born" on its latest project, "Wilco (The Album)," due June 30 from Nonesuch. The 11-track set was produced by the band with Jim Scott, who mixed 2007's "Sky Blue Sky."
• Star Trek fans, feel free to geek out. The new, young, hot Captain Kirk, Chris Pine, waited patiently to finally meet the old one, William Shatner, at some sort of Yeehaw convention....
Clustered at the top of the Dancing With the Stars leaderboard last night were Melissa Rycroft with 57, and Gilles Marini and Shawn Johnson with 56. Lil' Kim, who stumbled a few times during...
What's even more shocking than Lil' Kim, a Dancing With the Stars favorite this season, getting the boot tonight is what her dancing partner Derek Hough admitted about her backstage after...
It was a rocky road to rock 'n' roll night on American Idol.
Before the cameras started rolling, a piece of the set collapsed and a crew member tripped on the grand staircase...
Miss California wanted to be in the public eye—now the public is getting an eyeful of Miss California.
The first of a reputed six racy photos of Carrie Prejean, donning little more...
You've all heard by now that Rihanna returned to the red carpet last night at the Costume Institute Gala in New York City.
Once inside the Metropolitan Museum of Art, she sat at...
• Finally an explanation for Jessica Simpson on the cover of Vanity Fair. The mag's PR director says, "She's at a crossroads in her career" and "says a lot about the...
Jessica Szohr has gotten her self into some fishy business.
I can exclusively reveal that the Gossip Girl starlet has snagged a role in Piranha 3-D, an upcoming remake of the 1978 cult...
Paula Abdul has seemed kind of out of it for a while now and it's always been rather amusing, but the American Idol judge tells the June issue of Ladies' Home Journal that we were the only...
No doubt tired of the misinformation about her condition circulated by everyone from the media to her own son, Farrah Fawcett is taking control of her life story, teaming up with NBC News for a...
1) The Dark Knight wins "Best Movie," upholding the MTV Awards' ability to look past a movie's blockbuster label and simply reward really awesome movies for being really awesome movies. I greatly enjoyed Slumdog Millionaire and was glad it won the Oscar, but I'm still bitter Dark Knight and WALL-E weren't even in the Best Picture discussion, and an MTV Award win would go for some slight redemption.
2) Slumdog Millionaire wins "Best Movie," and for the third time in history, the Oscars and MTV Awards overlap (the previous two were Titanic and LOTR: Return of the King). This would mark an odd turn towards the semi-artsy for the MTV Awards, but I'd also be intrigued by this outcome.
3) High School Musical 3 or Twilight wins "Best Movie." Oscars triumph for the third straight year. I've excluded the fifth nominee, Iron Man, from the discussion, cause I imagine anyone who'd vote for it in the first place would just vote for Dark Knight instead, even though it was also highly enjoyable.
My prediction? Twilight, obviously. Though voting is currently open, and if I figure out how to set up a spambot, Dark Knight may finally get the recognition that I care way too much about it getting. Until my MTV-teen spambot becomes self-aware, then it'll start voting for Twilight anyway and everything will backfire.
MTV Movie Awards thoughts/predictions? Leave 'em in the comments.
We know what some of you are thinking: Ice skating is already pretty gay. (Which, let's face it, is why you love it.) The outfits, the spins, the footwork, the music - it's a love affair of rosy cheeks; an ice dance from a fairy tale. And while we recently claimed that the opening credits to "Any Dream Will Do" may be the gayest thing out there, we would like to replace that claim with the following performance which is, easily, the gayest thing we've ever seen (again, all meant in a good way.) Ice Skater Johnny Weir choreographed a skate routine to Lady Gaga's infectious hit "Pokerface". And in the routine, he dons his best costume -- a relic found inside the body cavity of Liberace's ghost corpse -- and puts on his best eye make-up -- inspired by a swab taken of Mesach Taylor's bed linens -- to bring to the world the fiercest thing anyone has ever done on ice since Ben Stiller's
Dom DeLuise, the legendary comic actor perhaps best known for his seventy-five or so roles in Mel Brooks' movies (as well as appearances in Cannonball Run and An American Tail) has 
This seemed to be the question I kept asking myself during the rousing and completely infuriating ending to last night's Amazing Race pre-season finale episode. The season had dwindled down to the Top 4 remaining teams, after last week's surprising non-elimination episode, where the leg just kept on going. So this was it: We were to determine the final 3 who would race for $1 million.
Now, out of the 4 teams that were left, let's face it: Only two were mildly tolerable. You had the adorable Chinese sister and brother team, Tammy and Victor, who struck gold these last couple of weeks as the challenges have all taken place in China, and Keisha and Jen, another sibling twosome who, despite a crushing fear of water and deaf people, have remained likable even through the hardest of challenges. And then, the other two teams: Luke and Margie, the deaf son and overbearing, prune-faced mother, who prove that even people with disabilities can be giant assh*les, and the red-headed cheerleaders who hate all other cultures and decided to go on a race around the world, Cara and Jaime. Oh, how we loathe Cara and Jaime. Specifically Jaime.
Ahead, the recap continues -- with video -- and a question for the ages: Would You Pee Yourself On National Television For $1 Million?
Keisha and Jen came in 4th last week during the elimination fake-out, so they were already at a disadvantage. And then, Tammy and Victor had the nerve to "U-Turn" them, forcing them to complete the other half of the "Detour" challenge. They should have U-turned Luke and Margie, because even though the sisters might be fast runners, they are also not psychopathic blood-thirsty race winners. But K&J stayed strong, and even managed to show-up at the Road Block in 3rd place.
Oh, and that Road Block: One member of the teams was forced to eat deep fried crickets, larvae, starfish, a whole shmorgasbord of oil-infused creepy crawlies. But, for the first time in Race history, not a single-team moaned and groaned about consuming these things. Whereas I would have been curled up on the ground like a half-dead caterpillar, the teams stayed strong: Only Jen needed the help of water to force the goods down, stopping momentarily to barf and then continued as regularly scheduled. Even the cheerleader -- THE CHEERLEADER -- powered through with nary a complaint. They really must be hungry.
But still, Keisha and Jen powered through. They finished the eating challenge and cabbed it over to the Bird's Nest, the famously beautiful Olympic stadium where Phil and his fateful map would be waiting. And despite what those crafty Race editors would have you believe, it really seemed like K&J would make it into the Top 3 teams, despite all the obstacles that stood in their way. And then? Then...
Jen had to pee. Real bad. I mean, Jen really had to go. Wearing an opera kimono and a face full of makeup that would have Princess Amidala reaching for the Noxema. And Keisha, being the supportive older sister, ALLOWED HER. Let us relive that moment together, yes?
Filming for a new Nicolas Cage movie got a bit out of hand when a car chase sequence in Times Square resulted in a 
