AP - "Billy Elliot," the season's biggest musical hit, has scored a 2009 Tony Award nomination for best musical. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 5 May 2009 | 12:41 pm
Reuters - Live Nation Inc., the world's largest concert promoter, has agreed to sell three well-known theaters in Boston for about $22.5 million, using the proceeds to pay down debt. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 5 May 2009 | 12:37 pm
AP - Fox is giving its weird-science drama, "Fringe," the benefit of a second-season renewal. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 5 May 2009 | 12:32 pm
AP - Fox is giving its weird-science drama, "Fringe," the benefit of a second-season renewal. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 5 May 2009 | 12:32 pm
AP - Police say a Ferrari crashed into a restaurant in New York's Times Square during filming of a Nicolas Cage movie stunt, injuring two pedestrians. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 5 May 2009 | 12:24 pm
The Obama book bump has struck again. President Obama told The New York Times during a recent interview that he has been reading Joseph O'Neill's "Netherland," a highly praised novel... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 5 May 2009 | 12:24 pm
Fox is giving its weird-science drama, "Fringe," the benefit of a second-season renewal. The network's announcement makes official what was already clear: "Fringe" premiered last... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 5 May 2009 | 12:20 pm
Reuters - British actress Tilda Swinton says drinking just makes her sleepy or sick so when seeking inspiration to play a loud, hard-partying alcoholic in her latest film, she turned to her friends. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 5 May 2009 | 12:19 pm
(AP) AP - A former member of Wilco is suing the band's lead singer, claiming he's owed royalties for songs during his seven years and five albums with the group. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 5 May 2009 | 12:13 pm
In Nintendo's excellent "Rhythm Heaven," you use a DS stylus to match the beat. In the popular iPhone series "Tap Tap Revenge," you just use your fingers. Of course, if you still want to... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 5 May 2009 | 12:13 pm
When "La Bamba" hit movie screens in 1987, audiences flocked to see the true story of singer Ritchie Valens, who died as a teen in an airplane crash almost three decades earlier.
Actor Tim Roth is in an abandoned building near downtown Los Angeles, and he's about to mix things up. Roth, who plays Dr. Cal Lightman on the hit Fox series "Lie to Me," is shooting scenes for the season finale, which will air May 13. His character is an expert on body language and the detection of deception.
A publicist for The White Stripes says drummer Meg White is engaged to musician Jackson Smith, the son of punk singer Patti Smith and late MC5 guitarist Fred "Sonic" Smith.
This year's Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala Benefit boasted so much star power, it's a wonder no one was handing out awards.
But...
Reuters - The new "Models as Muse" exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art celebrates some of the world's most beautiful women yet it shows how ideals of beauty have evolved to include the rest of women as well, its curator said on Monday. Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 5 May 2009 | 4:08 am
Front Page: Network also picks up 'Taken,' 'Marley and Me' -- FX has acquired the network rights to B.O. smash "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" in a package deal that also includes hit features "Taken" and "Marley and Me."
Front Page: Diva makes screen debut in Screen Gems pic -- Christina Aguilera will make her screen debut for Screen Gems in "Burlesque," a contemporary musical that Steven Antin will direct. Antin wrote a script that was revised by "Erin Brockovich" scribe Susannah Grant.
Front Page: Actor to star in 'Wolverine' sequel, 'Carousel' -- Hugh Jackman and Seed Productions partner John Palermo are ramping up several projects for the "Wolverine" star.
With an event inspired by models, tonight's Met Gala might be the most attractive red carpet of the year. Justin Timberlake was among the first to arrive at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in a William Rast suit and spectacles, which makes us wonder if he even wears glasses in real life. Jessica Biel stood by his side, wearing red Versace. Marc Jacobs showed up sans kilt, with Kate Moss on his arm (she was in a sexy backless toga dress). And André Leon Talley, never the one for timidity, tacked his pin of President Obama onto a large gold chain with heart charms. Click ahead to see what everyone else is wearing.
Singer-songwriter Cat Stevens agreed on Monday that the Coldplay song, "Viva La Vida," sounds like one of his 1973 songs, but he stopped short of saying he would sue for plagiarism.
• Oda a la Piña's director, Laimir Fano, was only able to attend Tribeca because of President Obama lifting the sanction on Cuban citizens coming to the U.S. one week before the Festival.
• Standing ovations took place at screenings for City Island, Entre Nos, Only When I Dance, Rachel, Racing Dreams, Salt of the Sea, and more.
•The Festival featured 1,224 volunteers. Approximately 800 were from the New York area. Volunteers also came from other parts of the United States as well as 23 countries including: Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Croatia, Denmark, El Salvador, France, India, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Malaysia, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Philippines, Russia, South Africa, Turkey, and Spain.
• 500 New York Police Department barricades were used throughout the Festival.
Emphasis ours because that is awesome. Maybe next year they could promote the festival with a new slogan that cashes in on its no-holds-barred (get it?) vibe, something like, "It's America's Next Top Model Casting-Session Fun!" Or, no: "It's Like the Rolling Stones at Altamont Fun!"
Because we are! Do you know what Anna's wearing tonight? Or what color Marc's kilt/skort will be? Follow us on Twitter now to find out, and tune in later this evening to see a red-carpet slideshow. See all the beauties (and rom-com stars) in their A-Dubs–approved finest. Or you can go stake out the museum and try to see for yourself and deal with security. But it's raining. We thought so.
Tyra Banks told New York Times Magazine writer Lynn Hirschberg that she gets up in the morning every day to “expand the idea of beauty.” Speaking at the TimesTalks series, Banks offered this as an explanation for her “short season” of America's Next Top Model. The talk provided Banks with yet another platform to discuss the struggles she faced in her modeling days, including the battle with her weight. Once she started developing curves, Banks said, her agency gave her a long list of designers who wouldn’t use her unless she lost “a lot of weight — hips and breasts.” But Banks chose pizza and planned her jump to commercial modeling. “I like to say that I was one of those girls that helped bridge high, high fashion and commercial fashion. Back then, you were mass or you were class. Now you have girls like Gisele Bündchen — high fashion with a Victoria’s Secret contract,” she said. But blackness, she adds, is still not commercial. “In the high-fashion world, darker black skin is considered beautiful. But on the commercial side, you have girls like myself, Beyoncé, and Halle Berry, with light black skin. I make a point to have beautiful chocolate girls on Top Model who are also girls next door.”
Tyra's spending the summer overhauling her talk show. "What you will see in September 09 is not what you see now,” she said. Hirschberg said Banks has an “athletic focus” that made her feel pretty inadequate when they spent time together. “I feel like a teenager still,” Banks said. “It lives inside of me.” But she adds that she’s never been drunk, isn’t really into clothes, and works weekends — so we’re not sure what kind of teenager she’s talking about.
And, of course, Banks addressed those 275 smiles she made an Internet video about for the Times last year. She even called a few audience members up onstage to demonstrate these smiles. Oh, Tyra. Never leaving the house without humiliating people. Herewith, her wisdom:
• The Flirting-With-a-Man Smile: “Turn your shoulder to your man, move your face down, and use a sound effect, a little hmmmmmmmmm,” Banks said. (That “hmmmmmmm” is more of a cat purring than a “What should I have for lunch today? Hmmmmm,” obviously.)
• The Surprise Smile: “We’re not smiling like the surprise is real — it’s not ‘OMG, are you serious?’" Banks said. It’s a hand to the cheek, and a gasp. Remember, the surprise isn’t like, swine flu or an unexpected breakup; it’s more of a “I forgot my contacts at home!”
• The Catalogue Smile: This is the smile that sells J.Crew sweaters. “Put the left foot forward, and turn your head ahead as if there’s wind whipping you that way, and smile with your hand on your head and parted teeth. So walk forward with your hand on your right cheek, and step with your left foot, so your booty sticks out.” She then suggests you add a dainty “ahhhh” as a sound effect. Still following?
• The Angry Smile: Save this one for “bitches,” Banks said. You move a hand to your hip, look forward, “dip that booty to the right,” and let your face say “Okay, okay, okay, uh-huh.” This actually make sense in person.
Not all of today's media news was bad: The Boston Globe seems to have obtained yet another stay of execution, and somebody gave Glenn Beck a deal to write more books (we suppose this depends on your definition of the term "bad news"). But some was: Spanish-language Selecciones magazine closed, and rumors of trouble hit OK! magazine and Men's Journal.
• The Reader's Digest Association has closed the U.S. edition of Spanish-language Selecciones magazine. RDA will continue to publish the seventeen international editions of the title, the company said. [Folio]
• The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette announced "substantially more" layoffs today. This is the second set of layoffs for the state's largest daily newspaper. [Arkansas News]
• The Hartford Courant in Connecticut lost its editor and managing editor. [Romenesko]
• Apparently things have gotten so bad that someone at the Times stole Jennifer 8. Lee's vodka, according to her Twitter page. [FishbowlNY/Mediabistro]
• Okay, and this is technically good news, but it's also related to the Dead: Relix magazine (a Grateful Dead fanzine dating from the seventies) relaunches after a temporary hiatus. A group of investors led by Peter Shapiro — a former New York nightclub owner and concert producer well known in the so-called jam-band scene — and a core group of the magazine's employees have acquired the title and a pair of related websites from Zenbu founder Steve Bernstein. [Folio]
It's about time somebody cut J.J. Abrams a break! A few minutes ago, Fox announced that it's officially renewing Fringe for a full 22-episode second season. [HR]
Peter: Since we're in Italy, I thought that I would write something that expresses how I feel on the occasion of our getting married after seven long years together — in the local language, which I've learned for this very special occasion. Maggie: [Beams] Oh, honey, you're so smart. Peter: [Beams] No, you're so smart. [Begins reading, in a high-pitched lilt] This is a moment of joy, and I want to kiss everybody, because you are the nature of the joy. And he who kisses the joy flies lives in a town with the sunrise, says the poet. And it is wonderful here. Reese: [Whispering to Jake] Isn't this Roberto Benigni's 1999 Oscar speech? Peter: I feel like diving into this ocean of generosity. I would like to be Jupiter and kidnap everybody and lie down in the firmament making love to everybody. Reese: Also, he is speaking English. Maggie: [Glares at Reese] Peter: [Continues blissfully] "I would like to embrace the hailstorm of our kindness and our gratitude for you. And also I would like to thank Harvey Weinstein. [Applause as he turns around proudly] Maggie: Dear Peter: I am so lucky to be marrying you. Underneath the sympathetic pregnancy weight you still haven't lost and the Joaquin Phoenix–like beard, you are still the handsomest man I know, next to my own brother, and I've been told that neither you nor I are allowed to marry him, for different but equally unfair reasons. Now I would like to read a unique and powerful passage from my favorite book, by the poet Khalil Gibran.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
I just feel like that represents us, because I don't eat bread, but you do.
Officiant: [Shakes head] And by the power vested in me, I name you Saarsgaal.
Reese: [Whispers] Thank God that's over. Peter: And now I'm going to play a song on my guitar that I wrote. It's called Maggie May, because your name is Maggie, and this is the month of May.
First, Shia LaBeouf's damaged hand nearly derailed the entire Transformers 2 project (good thing Michael Bay was able to invent SPACE BRIDGES!). Now, Christian Bale is getting into the act, as he recently revealed that he sliced the tip off of one of his fingers in a dirt-biking accident. Considering these things come in threes, Vulture would just like to remind all of the actors in Star Trek to be extra careful when making the "Live long and prosper" hand sign while out on the promotional trail this week. [Sun UK]
Right now there’s a short video at David Zwirner Gallery that has some of the art world up in arms. Adel Abdessemed, 38, who was born in Algeria and now lives in New York, is a big deal on the international circuit. He had a one-person show at P.S. 1 last year, was included in the last Venice Biennale, and has had numerous solo museum exhibitions. The Zwirner show is a bit of a fizzle, an example of huge expensive gestures producing paltry effects. (As such it’s a throwback to the art of the recent past.) The work that has people furious is Usine, a 1:27-minute color video made in Mexico depicting a bunch of different animal and insect species thrown together into a pen: We see fighting roosters, snakes, pit bulls, tarantulas, iguanas, white mice, scorpions, and one toad. The creatures maul or ignore one another. The tape freaked me out, turned me off, and even outraged me. But I admit to being intrigued that in many cases the creatures fighting one another were like unto like, that the same species went after the same species. I looked, I shuddered, I passed on to the next disappointing work, not giving the moral dimensions of Usine too much thought.
This morning as I was getting down to work, I posted to Facebook a comment made to me by someone else. People instantly went batshit — given the topic, actually, I shouldn’t refer to animals, and instead say they went bananas. At 12:47 p.m. I posted the following comment, made by my friend, New York Times critic Ken Johnson: “I think that Adel Abdessemed’s video of animals fighting and killing each other (at the David Zwirner gallery), is the most appalling and evil work of art I have ever seen. Michael Vick went to prison for far less. Why so little outrage?” Within minutes scores of comments poured in, almost all of them saying that this work was “evil,” “despicable,” “100 percent cruel,” and that this piece represented “the faux avant-garde bullshit that has become the New York art world.” The conclusion of many was that “art should be moral.” That’s when I started to get uncomfortable.
My Facebook friends had found solid ground. They were absolutely, irrevocably against art that involved any cruelty to animals whatsoever. Abdessemed was called “a fucking voyeur,” “a sadist,” and compared to Nazis who were “just following orders.” Artist Oliver Wasow rightfully raised the old issue as to what to make of Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will, her depiction of the 1936 Olympics held in Hitler’s Berlin. Then people starting bringing up past pieces of art that also violated moral codes: Andreas Serrano photographing corpses in a Paris morgue without permission from the families of the deceased; Kim Jones burning a rat alive; Kathy Aker performing oral sex on a poet who was trying to read his work; Annie Sprinkle inserting a speculum into her vagina and inviting audience members to view her cervix; Tom Otterness shooting a dog. The list went on to include depictions of rape and artists who portray children too seductively. Most of this work is just awful. I began to get a queasy feeling in my stomach. Then I remembered how people railed against the work of Kara Walker because it was thought to be racist.
I understand the conviction and compassion aroused by Abdessemed. The work is exploitive and intense. I hate cruelty to animals. Still, I did come away from the Abdessemed piece knowing more than ever that I don’t believe in certainty, that even though the work wasn’t good, I was snagged by the paradox it raised about what kills what. Still, two of the best comments in the Facebook thread came from artist Matthew Weinstein, who is very certain about his position against cruelty to animals. First he made a good comparison: “I’m having my work made by Indonesian children who work 16 hours a day and get paid $10.00 a month. I’m doing it as an act of controversy to make people think about the unjust nature of the world economy. Thumbs up or down?” Of course, I’d say thumbs down, but just as quickly I thought about how the artist Santiago Sierra paid Mexican workers to do things like get tattoos on their backs or to hold up cement walls. Regardless, another Weinstein comment to someone may say it all: “Go cut the paws off a kitten.”
Michelle Obama spoke and watched some kids perform at a Hispanic-heritage event at a school in Washington, D.C., in honor of Cinco de Mayo today. She is wearing a purple sweater by J.Crew. No word on whether she let loose afterward with a few margs, but we'll sling back five or so for her tomorrow, anyway. See the full look in the Michelle Obama Look Book.
The recession is taking its toll on everyone — even Martha Stewart, who shared with us how she is wearing old clothes in her closet as one way of saving. "I am a hoarder of old things," she told us at Cartier's 100th-anniversary party last week — ironic since the celebration honored a century's worth of spending thousands of dollars on jewelry. "And actually, I can fit in most of them." View our Party Lines slideshow for more on how people cut spending.
The Grey's Anatomy wedding has me curious: Is their fake wedding registry on the Knot getting any response from people in real life?
—GreyLife, Oregon
The McDreamy...
Looking to break into the glamorous world of writing monologue jokes for a late-night comedy show, a career that will almost certainly earn you industry-wide respect and millions of dollars? Well, we hate to break it to you, but according to an article in today's Los Angeles Times, you might want to set your sights a bit lower. You see, a number of the jokes that David Letterman or Jimmy Fallon or Jay Leno tells each night are not written by actual show staffers (let alone by the hosts themselves), but rather by an underground network of freelance joke writers who get paid between $75 and $100 for each joke of theirs that manages to make it on air. One writer they spoke to, a 28-year-old New York–based writer named Greg Volk, has been working with the show in this capacity since 2004 and has only gotten an estimated 100 jokes on the air. Still sound glamorous to you?
Well, even if the prospect of scratching out a living $75 at a time sounds enticing, don't go getting your hopes up that you'll actually get credited for your work. Quite the opposite, in fact. The Writer's Guild of America officially frowns on this pay-by-the-joke process, and has worked diligently to ensure that some of the newer kids on the late-night block (like Jimmy Kimmel) don't farm out their joke-writing duties to non-WGA types. Even Conan O'Brien, who, according to this piece, never employed freelancers in this method while he was working as host of Late Night, was gently reminded when he moved out to the West Coast and began preparing to take over the Tonight Show job that this process wasn't kosher.
Yet, the underground practice continues on largely unabated. And the writers themselves don't seem to mind anonymously working for peanuts. "You pour so much time into this," a 28-year-old writer named Matt Little told the LAT. "And you don't find out until the show airs if you got a joke on or not. I like to say that it's like you're holding your lottery ticket in your hand, hoping that the words match up." And by lottery ticket, we can only assume that he's referring to scratch-offs. Because besides that, we're not aware of any other lotteries where the maximum amount you can win is $100.
On Friday, WWD rained on our happy-hour planning with the abrupt announcement that Thom Browne's CEO and CFO had left the label. CEO Tom Becker and CFO Thomas Cunningham decided to leave on their own, according to Browne's spokeswoman Miki Higasa. "[Thom Browne] had been thinking a lot about restructuring, and they decided it was time to leave to pursue other interests,” she said. Browne is running the company all by his lonesome and may bring on other executive types to help him. (Higasa says he's in the "thinking stage.")
Higasa again refuted rumors that Browne is thisclose to filing for bankruptcy. She seemingly bolstered her case by highlighting Browne's non–Thom Browne pursuits, like his Black Fleece collection for Brooks Brothers and his collaboration with Moncler. But Higasa confirmed that Browne is still looking for a financial partner. He's been looking for one for three years but refuses to sell a majority stake in his company. Aside from that, Higasa doesn't say much about the health of Browne's namesake label and store. And all WWD says about their success is that the store "remains open." Sadly, that is worth boasting about in These Times, but doesn't say much about the longevity of Browne's signature flood pants. What of the world's fiery passion for high-waters? We know it exists. The niche crowd of men lurking our streets in high-waters grows each spring, and we actually don't dislike the way they look with the proper pair of mandals, which must be worth something to someone with money. Right, rich people person out there? Maybe it's time for Browne to be less rigid and market his wares to the masses with a Topshop or H&M line, since he loves collaborations so much. Lord knows no one's buying his $2,000 suits now. Matthew Williamson got an incredible amount of press from it, after all.
MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU: Hope your National Star Wars Day was as eventful as these dudes fighting with lightsabers and riding Segways, and as filled with p***y. (VBS.tv)
US WEEKLY '88: "Julia Roberts Shows Off Bikini Body" sounds like the hottest thing on the internet, period. (Us Magazine)
SINGLED OUT II:Jenny McCarthy is getting her own talk show. Hopefully it'll be more "weirdly rational ex-model" and less "here's what oral sex with Jim Carrey is like". (WWTDD)
ACTRESS KIND OF: Megan Fox's job is to show up in magazines and things, look hot, and have a Transformers movie due out vaguely soon. I have no problems with this. (Socialite Life)
EXTREMELY HUNGRY: Ever wonder what the author of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close eats for breakfast? Wait, you have? That's creepy. Anyway, here it is. (The Young & The Hungry)
One less thing for Ed McMahon to worry about.
The ailing TV personality has reached a settlement in his malpractice claim against Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, which he...
MAKEUP
• Estée Lauder's third-quarter profits were down 69.8 percent. The company expects this to continue. [WWD]
• Jessica Biel is the latest face of Revlon. Can't you hardly wait for the sure-to-be thrilling photos of her in Revlon makeup to come out? [WWD]
SKIN
• Lorit Simon, Lindsay Lohan's business partner, giggled when someone asked her at a Santa Monica Sephora last week if Lohan used her own Sevin Nyne tanning products. Clearly this means her tan is not by Sevin Nyne. [NYP]
• Sarah Chalke of Scrubs suggests making your own exfoliating scrub by grinding strawberries and sloughing off skin with the seeds. So people really do have this much time on their hands. [StyleWatch/People]
FRAGRANCE
• Valentino is planning to launch a new fragrance for a younger consumer called Rock 'n' Dreams, the fourth in a series of rock-related scents. The campaign will feature model Siri Tollerød. [Now Smell This]
Two months ago, Flaming Lips leader Wayne Coyne shared some thoughts on the members of Arcade Fire ("They're pricks, so fuck 'em"), prompting an overheated response from AF's Win Butler. Now, Coyne's just sorry the whole thing ever happened and he's issued a heartfelt apology, sort of: "I didn’t necessarily mean it about the people in the Arcade Fire. I meant it about the guys that were running their stages at a couple of festivals ... I really feel bad about it. I like enough of their music. The idea that I’m somehow against them … I’m not!" [Music Mix/EW via Pitchfork]
A veteran of the spotlight's glare herself, famed attorney Gloria Allred wants to make sure Octomom's kids don't get burned.
The Los Angeles attorney announced Monday that...
Front Page: 'Ruined,' 'Billy,' 'Black Watch' nab honors -- "Ruined," "Billy Elliot" and "Black Watch" all snagged honors in the annual round of kudos handed out by the New York Drama Critics Circle.
Don't call it a comeback…'cause it isn't one just yet.
Just a month after Rihanna was booked for her first public performance since her alleged assault by Chris Brown,...
Michael Gross, author of Rogues' Gallery: The Secret History of the Moguls and the Money that Made the Metropolitan Museum, blames Anna Wintour for making the Met lowbrow. "The most highly publicized event at the museum has been turned into a magazine and movie-promotion party ... The museum has struck a Faustian bargain with Vogue that diminishes the museum [sic]. The tail is wagging the dog," Gross told the New York Post. "You could say anything that gets people in the door of a museum is a good thing, just as you could say anyone who reads a book is supporting literature. But it's the difference between reading a Harlequin romance novel and reading Samuel Beckett or Proust." Do you agree? Will you see more than just the Models As Muse exhibit on your next visit to the Met? [NYP]
Now that Star Trek is taking off in such spectacular fashion, could Heroes star Zachary Quinto be taking advantage of Sylar's shape-shifting power to vanish from the show...
Ever since we heard the news that Madonna was going to move to East 81st Street, a part of the Upper East Side that some snooty neighbors deemed a little too downmarket for an international superstar (despite the fact that she dropped a whopping $40 million on the place), we'd been wondering what her neighbors thought. Would they welcome her with open arms? Or would they merely be dismayed that her presence would also cause a swarm of unwanted paparazzi? Did they have advice for her? Or would they just shout her song lyrics at her as she walked by with her bodyguards? Naturally, we sent Tim Murphy to find out.
In this week's issue of New York, Lizzy Goodman profiles Grizzly Bear, your new favorite band. Jada Yuan talks to cursed music-video director Michel Gondry. Boris Kachka tours Eric Bogosian's New York. David Edelstein reviews Star Trek. Logan Hill explores J.J. Abrams's daddy issues. Amy Larocca raps with Kate Gilmore, who turns chaos into video art. Scott Brown and Stephanie Zacharek review 9 to 5, Waiting for Godot, and more of this year's late-season Tony bait. Boris Kachka chats with Ethan Coen about his new play, Offices, and Joe Turner's Come and Gone's Danai Gurira. Who will be nominated for a Tony tomorrow? New Yorkhandicaps the race.
Wear one pair of unfortunately long-crotched jeans under a giant belt with a tucked in shirt, and be branded a pig your whole life. So is the lesson learned by Jessica Simpson, who donned said outfit while carrying 18.3 oz of extra water weight a few months back, an outfit which set off a firestorm of accusations that the singer must eat over the recommended 400 calorie LA diet.
But good news! Jessica took 2 correctol and is back to her original svelte physique. And as proof that her star is back on the rise (or is it that the magazine's star is on the fall?), Vanity Fair has placed the singer on its May cover, with a dazzling retro photo shoot inside.
But just in case the girl's ego is back on the climb, the author so helpfully included the following passage in the article -- make sure to insert gunshot sounds everytime you read the word "far", so that you can reenact what her suicide will probably sound like:
Jessica seemed nervous. Her hands trembled. She ordered a glass of Pinot Grigio. It seemed to calm her. She didn’t want to talk about her weight, so, of course, that’s all I could think of—it gilded each question in my mind: What are you working on now [that you’re fat]? Do you see yourself as part of a class, with Christina and Britney [or are you too fat]? Do you feel that your relationship with Tony Romo has affected his performance as a quarterback [because you are fat]?
Get that Jessica? In case you missed it, here's a recap:
You're fat.
You're fat.You're fat.You're fat.
Got it? Good. Ahead we've got a whole slew o' big ol' fatty fat pig photos of J-Simps looking like she just woke up from a carb come inside the handicapped stall at a Boca Raton Sweet Tomatoes. (Ed. Note: She actually looks quite stunning in the pictures, and the author of this article -- who looks like a rapey version of Kevin Pollack -- looks like hot Hungarian street garbage.)
AP - J.J. Abrams' hugely anticipated summer extravaganza "Star Trek" boldly goes to the past within the distant future of the "Trek" universe, years ahead of the TV series and the myriad movies and spin-offs it spawned.
Another opening weekend for the Jonas Brothers. An altogether different result.
Jonas, the band's new Disney Channel comedy, premiered before a solid 4 million viewers Saturday, the...
If director Ron Howard hopes religious controversy will help sell tickets to "Angels & Demons" the way it boosted his "Da Vinci Code," the Catholic Church is not playing along with his script.
Madonna's appeal to adopt a 3-year-old girl started in Malawi's highest court Monday, as a man claiming to be the girl's father said he was fighting for custody of the child.
After a ten-month probe, a report by the Special Commissioner of Investigation has concluded that the head of the Brooklyn Steppers — the renowned marching band that took part in President Obama's inaugural ceremonies — had an "inappropriate" relationship with a 17-year-old band member ("Student A"). Tyrone Brown, 31, admits that the two were close but denies that anything sexual ever occurred. Here's a look at the compiled evidence against him:
• Student A once answered Brown's door in her pajamas.
• Student A and Brown were spotted, at various times, flirting, holding hands, and hugging.
• The two were seen shopping at Victoria's Secret in Brooklyn before a group trip to Bermuda.
• On the trip, the two had adjoining hotel rooms and were reportedly inseparable.
• After the trip, a former employee of Brown's contends, Brown called a meeting and admitted to the affair in front of the staff of the Brooklyn School for Music and Theater.
• One of Student A's friends says Brown asked her how she would feel if he and Student A were in a relationship.
• Brown's estranged wife claims he also admitted the affair to her.
Now we know at this point you're saying to yourselves, "So what? That doesn't seem like compelling evidence to me at all." But here's the kicker: Between May 22 and June 22 of 2008, a one-month span, Brown and the student exchanged a total of 2,999 text messages. No two people have ever texted that much without having sex. The prosecution rests.
George Clooney's next role could land him a prize for best supporting pal.
The Oscar winner's rep tells E! News that Clooney is willing to get buddy Rande Gerber's back if a...
Cheap Monday is branching out from its denim line. The Swedish company just signed Ann-Sofie Back as its new head designer. "I have not even begun," she tells Rodeo magazine. "But there has been much focus on jeans so far, and my task is to create a stronger identity on anything that is not denim." She'll set up in Sweden, where she recently relocated after living in London for eight years (she got married and her husband's children are in Sweden). So she said this step feels "absolutely right." [Rodeo]
Here's Gossip Girl'sEd Westwick playing in a charity soccer game with a hand down his pants. Any attempts to improve upon my ingenious puns are welcomed (GOOD LUCK):
Oh, it is on. While some large banks are panicking like babies in advance of the Stress Test Challenge, others are recognizing it as an opportunity to tout their own health. Take Jamie Dimon, the head of JPMorgan, who coolly noted in a conference call today that "there are still too many banks in the United States," and that should some of these lesser, struggling institutions happen to crap the bed owing to their own incompetence, regulators can go ahead and count on JPMorgan to "do something" in terms of acquisitions.
Not that Dimon's one to brag or anything, but let's just say that JPMorgan is totally strong enough to absorb whatever blows those wimps have on their books. Go ahead, hit him. Yeah. Feel that? Pure muscle, baby.
Who says Table Tennis isn't a sport? Hmm...most of you, and with very good reasons? I see. Well, regardless, here's a list of ten action-effing-PACKED action shots to prove that the Table Tennis World Championships are every bit as exciting as the World Monopoly Finals and This Elephant Polo Tournament:
10.
In 2000, the 98-year-old Brooke Astor was irritated. Still in full command of her faculties, she couldn't know that over the next seven years, her health and mental faculties would decline, and her only son, Anthony Marshall, would convince her that she was out of funds and quietly transfer much of her money and belongings into his or his wife's name. Nor could she know the immense public scandal Marshall's actions would cause, bringing New York's most influential socialites to court on her behalf. None of that was on her mind that day, as her dear friend and ear doctor Kevin Flaherty examined her in her beloved Park Avenue home. No — what was bothering her was the fact that she had been invited to spend Christmas up in Maine at her old estate (which her son would later convince her to sign over to him) with Marshall and his wife, Charlene. Or, as she was sometimes known around the apartment — depending on the hour or number of cocktails clinking around — "that woman." As Kevin fussed over her ears (who wears diamond baguettes to an examination?), her dachshunds, Boysie and Girlsie, fluttered anxiously around her on the couch. "So are you going to go?" Kevin asked. "I'd rather have Boysie and Girlsie up in Maine with me than Anthony and that B-I-T-C-H," she responded, according to polite testimony Flaherty gave today, seven years later, in court. Of course, anyone who knew Mrs. Astor would know she'd never actually say it that way. The doctor was just being polite — Brooke called Charlene a plain old "bitch," and that was that.
See, that's the great thing about old Wasps. After nearly ten decades of keeping quiet about how she really feels, Brooke Astor earned that "bitch."
Mia: Baby-Mama Drama
It’s again all about the needy women in Paul’s (professional) life, but he has his own problems. Mia was furious that he canceled their last appointment, but felt bad after her snooping revealed his father’s death. She’s pregnant — she hopes it’s the young musician’s baby, not the married cop’s, so she can go this alone. Mia wants Paul to be happy and “there” for her. She’s casting him as her baby daddy; he maintains boundaries. She lovingly advises him to take the day off, but how many patients does he have? It’s Mia we’re worried about right now: She’s desperate to have this baby, but she’s in her forties and only three weeks pregnant.
April: Chemo? No
April is transformed: She jokes with Paul with a comfort we haven’t seen before. She’s had imaginary conversations with him about life being worth living. She called her (unmentioned until now) childhood friend Leah to take care of her during a bad night — but she still hasn’t told her parents she has cancer, though she’s wrecked by chemo. And she’s crushed that Paul canceled their last appointment. He resists telling her why; when he finally does, he explains his whole dysfunctional family history. Paul sets a brutal boundary by refusing to take April to chemo again, demanding that she rely on the people in her life. He’s doing well; she’s breaking our hearts.
A Bank of America spokesman called this morning's Financial Times report that the bank was trying to raise $10 billion to plump up their government-stress-test results “completely inaccurate” on CNBC today. Gosh, you know, in retrospect, obviously. When you're as big and awesome as BofA, you don't go out and just, like, chase money. The money just comes to you. [DealBook/NYT]
The case of Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" on national television -- and subsequent fines against CBS -- will be re-examined at the order of the Supreme Court.
Hugh Jackman, pictured in April 2009, proved a howling success at the North American box office this weekend as superhero spin-off "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," opened in top spot, final figures showed Monday... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 4 May 2009 | 8:07 pm
It was impossible to come away from last night’s episode without feeling hot, dry, and thirsty, a credit to the almost physical power of this show. Walt and Jesse get stuck in the desert during a meth-making marathon, and come very close to death. It was a claustrophobic, slow, painful hour, yet we saw facets of their characters that we previously hadn’t. And in the end — since the show must go on — they triumph.
Walt and His Family
We open with Walt, Skylar, Walt Jr., and Marie and Hank waiting at Walt’s oncologist's office. He’s there to have a CAT scan to check on the progress of his treatment, and he can’t stop coughing (which he’s hiding from his family). After the scan, Walt sees the X-ray in the reflection of a painting, and it looks like there’s a huge white mass in one lung. Uh-oh. He tells Skylar that he’s going to visit his mother, though really he’s going to cook up a whole mess of meth in order to make some money before that big scary tumor kills him. “You’re expecting the news to be bad,” says Skylar, correctly. “I need you to stay positive!”
Walt and the Drugs
After hearing from Saul the shady lawyer that his net worth is only around $10,000, Walt decides he has to cook up the entire barrel of methylamine. He drags Jesse away from a date with Jane (at a Georgia O’Keefe museum in Santa Fe!), lying to Jesse that the methylamine will go bad soon if they don’t use it. There’s a quick, amusing montage of them cooking out in the desert, and all seems to be going well until they attempt to start the RV and find that the battery is dead. Then Jesse uses the remaining water to put out a fire in the generator, which breaks, and Skinny P, whom they call to come pick them up, gets lost. They spend a freezing night and then a hot day together trying to get the battery to work. Finally, exhausted and near death, Jesse motivates Walt to brainstorm, and he figures out how to fashion a makeshift battery. They’re saved! Phew. With lots of meth, to boot — $672,000 worth for each, to be exact.
What’s Next?
At the end of the episode, we learn that Walt’s tumor has actually shrunk 80 percent. That white mass he saw was tissue inflammation, not a tumor. Walt and his family scream with delight, and he and Skylar kiss, which is the first time we've seen them engage in physical affection in forever. Then Walt goes into the bathroom and uses some of that new testosterone by beating up a towel dispenser. There’s not enough room here to dissect Walt and Jesse’s complicated, and at times sweet, relationship, but in this episode we see that they really need each other. When Walt compliments Jesse during a lesson in batteries, Jesse’s face lights up like a little kid. When Jesse yells at Walt to “snap out of it!” Walt really does. Aw, co-dependent drug dealers. We can’t wait to see what they’ll do next.
Meet Jen Kappler. To the unfamiliar, Jen might just seem like a nice enough girl living and working in St. Louis, where she lives. Unassuming, friendly, a Livejournal user, Jen has a real flair for living, but chances are, if you met her, you would have no idea just how lucky and blessed young Jen is.
Why's that, you ask? Why... BECAUSE JEN BOUGHT HOTTEST ACTOR ON FACE OF PLANET JON HAMM A BEER THIS WEEKEND:
And do you know what we learned? We learned that not only is Jon Hamm hot -- if not hotter -- in person (seriously, look at that pic. It's like a Mad Men bus ad, post-CS3), but that he's also incredibly and generous and (shorting keyboard out with mixture of jealousy tears and lust saliva). Here is her story... let us relive it, together:
You guys! Especially Michelle. I was out tonight celebrating my little sister's 21st birthday, all of a sudden, I turn around and there's Jon f*cking Hamm! I have to report that he was totally nice and gracious, and when the bar closed down he came back to shake our hands and say goodbye and he remembered my name! Apparently he's in town for something to do with his High School. I had no idea he went to high school in St. Louis.
I hope this email makes sense because I'm REALLY drunk while writing this. In FACT, I bought Jon Hamm a beer and told him he made my night. FYI: He drinks Budweiser.
My guy friends were totally un-impressed. I hope you guys will have something to say though because it's Jon-f**king-HAMM!
Ah, to dream. Needless to say, next time Jon Hamm is in NYC, I will be wearing this:
or this*:
(*I have cracked.) Source: Best Week Ever | 4 May 2009 | 7:36 pm
Contrary to what you might've heard, NBC is still actively pursuing the creation of new television shows! Hapless network wunderkind (and Vulture hero) Ben Silverman announced a portion of the Peacock's fall prime-time lineup to advertisers this morning, including community-college comedy Community, dating-service sitcom 100 Days, ER-y medical procedural Trauma, Scrubs-y medical comedy Mercy, Lost-ish supernatural drama Day One, and Parenthood, an hour-long "contemporary re-imagining" of the 1989 movie Parenthood. Silverman was bullish on the lineup, indicating that all six were enjoyed by many of NBC's own employees: "These are all shows that demanded to be put on the air ... Both our East and West coast offices uniformly loved them," he said. Synopses and clips for all are available at NBC.com, or you can read ahead to see which one we think might actually make it to a second season.
That's Community above. We don't know if this will fill the Undeclared-size hole in anybody's heart, but we like Joel McHale and the writing seems okay. Plus, Chevy Chase is in it, and NBC seems to have pretty good luck these days with shows starring former "Weekend Update" anchors, so why not?
Tagline: "Every family has a past; every family has a secret."
Translation: No, we're not talking about the Corleones here.
The Verdict: Much like with his last directorial effort, 2007's Youth Without Youth, Francis Ford Coppola has decided to forgo working on a big-budget, studio-financed film for an opportunity to work on a smaller-scale, more intimate project. The result is Tetro, a film he both wrote and directed, and one that stars Vincent Gallo as a talented yet troubled playwright living in Buenos Aires. Say what you will about Gallo as a person or when he works as a hyphenate, he remains an extremely compelling presence onscreen when he's concentrating solely on being an actor. For the most part, the film is shot monochromatically, but the glorious black-and-white shots are occasionally interrupted by bursts of fantastical color. The plot points that come through in the trailer are suitably murky, but what pleases us most is that Coppola continues to eschew the kinds of career decisions that led George Lucas to become one of the cinema world's most abhorred figures, in favor of getting out there and continuing to refine his craft.
I haven't seen Wolverine yet, and I'm not usually one to judge a movie based on the reviews before actually seeing it, but this RottenTomatoes score ain't exactly too promising (bub):
According to the RottenTomatoes "Top Critics" aggregator, Wolverine is less than 1/3 as good as X-Men: The Last Stand, which was itself highly disappointing. And if Contact taught us anything, it's that mathematics is the universal language, and also, don't let creepy religious Jake Busey into your shuttle launch.
On one hand, there's an inherent subjectivity to assigning a mathematical percentage to a film based on the general positivity of a cross-section of reviews. On the other hand, however, there's this movie:
I'm not sure what religion you have to be a part of to celebrate May Day in China, but I'm joining it. And if it's an unaffiliated nonreligious holiday that happens to involve cockatoos and parrots doing wacky tricks on May 1st, then I'm creating a religion devoted to it and becoming the first member.
Happy May Day! Here's a Cockatoo lifting weights:
Mohawk and roller skates? Hey Cockatoo, 1989 called, it wants its perception of what is gnarly back (BOOM!):
Here's a parrot believing that a thing is food, finding out that it isn't food, but making it appear like he's pushing a truck in the process:
That's not what bowling is, you f***ing a**hole:
Monty Python "swallows" joke, up for grabs:
Can we book this bird on a bike for any U.S. holidays? Something lame, like Columbus Day?
Whatever this activity is, birds shouldn't be doing it:
In China, even birds are pushed into playing musical instruments extremely rigorously at an early age:
BONUS BLACK BEAR ON RINGS! Chinese May Day sweeps the Holiday Awards.
The Supreme Court on Monday ordered a federal appeals court to re-examine its ruling in favor of CBS Corp. in a legal fight over entertainer Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction.
French actress Isabelle Huppert poses during a photocall for the film "Home" by French-born Swiss film director Ursula Meier in Rome in January 2009. Huppert heads the Cannes film festival jury. Organizers... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 4 May 2009 | 5:02 pm
Iranian director Bahman Ghobadi accepts the "Concha de Oro" (Golden shell) award for best film at the 54th San Sebastian International Film Festival in 2006. Ghobadi's "Nobody Knows About The Persian Cats"... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 4 May 2009 | 4:55 pm
Last week the world was shocked to learn that Jon Gosselin from TLC's Jon and Kate Plus 8 was seen in public with a younger and much more childless woman than his wife. Best Week Ever has the exclusive first look at TLC's newest "Jon and Kate" franchise.
Did you know that a naturally occurring molecule in your body has the same name as 1 out of every 30 teamsters? (The rest are named Pauly.) Well, it's true! Your body contains a chemical called Sam-E, short for S-Adenosyl methionine, which helps to regulate your mood. It also sounds kind of like the Disney movie Wall-E, and who doesn't like that? Nobody, that's who.
And if the idea of an little molecule that looks like Short Circuit with a mustache floating around in our body sounds adorable, you're right, it is. Which is why, as age begins to set in on your tired, weathered face, and turn your hands into veritable skinclaws, and your forehead into a flesh washboard, SamE just sort of gives up and stops reproducing itself. And you? You turn into an unhappy old bitch. Rightfully so. But hey, don't blame me... blame science. Blame science for the fact that you're a bitter middle aged woman with a life full of regrets and just a handful of obnoxious children and mammograms to show for yourself.
But what's this? Ah yes, Sam-E supplementals, pills that actually regulate your Sam-E levels so that you don't become the most hated person in your office/family/carpool/yoga class! And even better? The Sam-E infomercial. In it, three frown-hearted sisters are back to laughing it up again thanks to this miracle drug. Daughter turning into a gothy slut? Don't bother these ladies none. Dog smear his shit-claws across your newly cleaned white suit? That darned mutt! Laugh it on off. You've got Sam-E in your system now. And, from the look and sound of it, lots and lots and lots of meth and wine and smack and lithium.
We haven't seen acting this convincing since the classic International Coffees commercial. Seriously, was Kristen Wiig busy? She woulda been perf:
We're guessing 99.9 percent of the actors used in the following spot are Scientologists. Don't ask us why, it's just a hunch. Source: Best Week Ever | 4 May 2009 | 4:22 pm
Kyle King, a 20-year-old man was cited with a single breach of peace charge over the incident in Connecticut at the Mohegan Sun in Uncasville Source: FOXNews.com | 4 May 2009 | 4:14 pm
Music fans old enough to have attended the first New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival 40 years ago boogied alongside those who weren't yet born when the celebration of music, food and the culture of Louisiana began.
Comedienne Margaret Cho knows a great deal about Hollywood's obsession with body image. The once-zaftig actress is co-starring in a new series for Lifetime titled "Drop Dead Diva" about a brilliant plus-size attorney who finds her body inhabited by the soul of a shallow wannabe model.
Some performers from the 1969 Woodstock concert will get back to the garden for a 40th anniversary show this summer. On the bill for August 15 are The Levon Helm Band, Jefferson Starship, Big Brother and the Holding Co., Ten Years After, Canned Heat, Mountain, and Country Joe McDonald.
As Hef unveiled the beautiful new Playmate of the Year, he also revealed some interesting news about his health Source: FOXNews.com | 4 May 2009 | 2:29 pm
Front Page: 'Trauma,' 'Parenthood' among six pickups -- NBC officially unveiled a portion of its primetime plans on Monday -- but left several bubble shows twisting in the wind until later this month, when net execs will unveil NBC's fall sked.
Two dud movies, a failed attempt at becoming a country music star, and recent tabloid obsession over her weight have left the once-popular singer and movie star at a career crossroads Source: FOXNews.com | 4 May 2009 | 1:08 pm
Def Leppard, the pop metal band that debuted in 1980 and which has sold more than 65 million albums worldwide, is set to release deluxe editions of two of its classic records - 1983's "Pyromania" and 1992's "Adrenalize" - on June 23.
This year's Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala Benefit boasted so much star power, it's a wonder no one was handing out awards.
But...
The Grey's Anatomy wedding has me curious: Is their fake wedding registry on the Knot getting any response from people in real life?
—GreyLife, Oregon
The McDreamy...
One less thing for Ed McMahon to worry about.
The ailing TV personality has reached a settlement in his malpractice claim against Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, which he...
A veteran of the spotlight's glare herself, famed attorney Gloria Allred wants to make sure Octomom's kids don't get burned.
The Los Angeles attorney announced Monday that...
Don't call it a comeback…'cause it isn't one just yet.
Just a month after Rihanna was booked for her first public performance since her alleged assault by Chris Brown,...
Now that Star Trek is taking off in such spectacular fashion, could Heroes star Zachary Quinto be taking advantage of Sylar's shape-shifting power to vanish from the show...
Another opening weekend for the Jonas Brothers. An altogether different result.
Jonas, the band's new Disney Channel comedy, premiered before a solid 4 million viewers Saturday, the...
George Clooney's next role could land him a prize for best supporting pal.
The Oscar winner's rep tells E! News that Clooney is willing to get buddy Rande Gerber's back if a...
