AP - Three debuting singers added zest to a star-studded reprise of Mozart's "Don Giovanni" that's returned to the Metropolitan Opera in the waning weeks of the season.
AP - Three debuting singers added zest to a star-studded reprise of Mozart's "Don Giovanni" that's returned to the Metropolitan Opera in the waning weeks of the season.
Front Page: Leavitt to adapt 'Obama' novel for smallscreen -- HBO Films has optioned "Game Change: Obama and the Clintons, McCain and Palin, and the Race of a Lifetime," an in-the-works Harper Collins book by political writers Mark Halperin and John Heilemann.
(E! Online)
E! Online - Dancing With the Stars is down to eight, and it's not getting any easier.
Dancing With the Stars is down to eight, and it's not getting any easier.
Last week, David Alan Grier got stuck with the short end of the voting stick, while the heavier footed...
TORONTO - "Corner Gas" ended its celebrated six-year run Monday with a plot that saw humble hero Brent Leroy reaffirm his small-town roots and cleverly riffed off series creator Brent... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 14 Apr 2009 | 2:06 am
Front Page: Co. to funnel funds to studio -- Ryan Kavanaugh's Relativity Media is close to reaching a three-year output deal with Lionsgate covering four to five movies a year.
The boy genius has given way to the convicted murderer.
Phil Spector, the legendary record producer, eccentric and recluse with a reputation for building walls around people as much as...
NEW YORK - Simon Cowell wants to look on the bright side concerning his future with "American Idol." The famously acerbic Cowell says he still loves doing the Fox network show and... Source: RSS feed - channel BNewsEnter | 14 Apr 2009 | 1:32 am
Porn icon Marilyn Chambers was found dead in her Los Angeles home Sunday night, but investigators do not suspect foul play, according to a Los Angeles County Sheriff's spokesman.
Welcome back, TV fans!
Today, we've got the goods on Private Practice's second-season finale, and it is a doozy. Read on to find out which Oceanside Wellness peeps are quitting,...
Sawyer is starting his very own diaper initiative.
Josh Holloway and his wife, Yessica Kumala, are the proud parents of a baby girl, their first child together, a rep for the actor...
The passion of the wife has run dry.
Mel Gibson's wife of 28 years, Robyn Gibson, filed for divorce from the Oscar-winning director-actor, citing the ever-popular "irreconcilable...
Rick Owens doesn't have a press office, but he's been awfully chatty with the U.S. media lately. We used to feel like we read an in-depth article about Marc Jacobs every other day. We felt like we knew him better than we knew ourselves, having memorized everything about him, from what kind of tattoos he had to what exercises he did at the gym to what he ate for breakfast. Now we feel like we come across an in-depth piece on Rick Owens every other day. Rick is terribly cool. He's from central California, but moved to Paris because he's too cool for his home state. In a video interview for Hint mag, he explains the other things he's too cool for. He is so cool, in fact, that we're not even annoyed by how cool he is. Herewith, a list of what he's too cool for.
L.A. and what that city calls Fashion Week.
They do LA Fashion Week, which is incredibly arrogant and demanding. I mean, these editors have been all over the globe for a couple of weeks [for Fashion Month] and then LA is saying 'Okay, now you have to come here.' Please, I mean, get off your ass and go to Europe. I mean, that's what I did and you just have to go where you have to go ... [W]hy do they have to be a fashion capital? They're the movie capital of the world and they've always been that, can't they just be satisfied with that?
Staying awake all day.
I take a nap every day, partly just to recharge, but also there’s a little bit of escape in it. I get oversaturated having to communicate with a lot of people all day ... It’s kind of a mini suicide.
Working with young people.
I’m a terrible collaborator. I can only be completely passive or completely dominant. I can’t be in between. I’ve tried things where I had a lot of energy around me, young people with cute hair cuts and stuff, and I just can’t deal with all that excess energy. And all of that desire and all of that ambition and everybody’s needs. So I kind of have to be really spoiled and be by myself. Not to put young people down but I get portfolios and I get applications and C.V.s that have images and like collages and stuff. And what the fuck am I going to do with a collage? I know how to make a collage. I need old people who know how to make things.
Trying to get publicity.
Now everything is so celebrity based. There’s five things in London happening that night and it’s a competition, and if you don’t have the right celebrities at your function it automatically becomes kind of the failure of the night. And why would I put something that I’m doing — because that’s not me and that’s not my customer — so why would I put us in that position?
Having a press office.
I had had a press office and I decided to disengage from that because having a press office became something I didn’t like having in my life. I didn’t like paying someone to remind me every day that I had to get more attention for myself. That started feeling icky. I thought, 'I’ve gotten this far without that much press anyway so why all of a sudden do I want to join into this thing I don’t really believe in?' At that point I thought, 'Why do I have to do this? I can just eliminate this.' I mean there’s no rules. So I cut that out and to compensate for it I thought, 'Well, we’ll open a store, and that’ll be an expression that people can see, like, the Rick Owens world.' And I thought it would be kind of an expensive — it would be a luxury for us to open that store. But it wasn’t — it made money. And no one was more surprised than I was. And after the success of that we were like well this is kind of a great thing let’s open another one. And we’re on a roll now.
Speaking French.
I decide I have enough lawyers now that I don’t have to speak French ever. Let the lawyers do it.
"His people already called me and I wouldn't take him," Levine says. A man's got to have standards!
First, Shana should learn the insider lingo. Levine’s in the process of writing a prison-slang dictionary, and he’s got a list of go-to terms, including:
Leg Rider
“Someone who’s sucking up to the cops. You’re humping the cop’s leg, trying to get favors.” Rat Jacket
“A rat is an informant, so if you’re wearing a rat jacket, you’ve been tagged as an informant.” Shower Shark
“Someone who’s known to check out others in the shower.” Kiester
A verb, meaning “to smuggle something like cigarettes or batteries using your back end.”
Second, she'll need to learn to cook, prison-style. Levine offers recipes for casserole, and pizza made from a crushed-Saltine-cracker crust and topped with cheese and sauce swiped from the cafeteria. (And, he notes, the commissaries sell sausage; combine sausage with the aforementioned stolen cheese, and a microwave burrito is just minutes in the making!)
Then there's the question of what she'll do with her time. In order to snag a prime prison job, Shana will need a disability, Levine says. Or at least the appearance of one. "What you want to do is get a medical restriction. So you've got no prolonged walking, no standing, no heavy lifting. That limits the jobs they can give you. If you know how to type and you have half a brain, you're going to be doing paperwork while people are out raking leaves in 100 degree sun."
Also, probably don't tell people your last name is Madoff. "The economy is tanking and people don't have the money to send in to people from prison, and they're going to look to Bernie as the cause of that," he says."The guy that held up a bank, people are going to think, well, that guy's cool. Bernie's going to be in the same category as a child molester or a kiddie-porn person."
Marry Me, the 2007 debut from St. Vincent — a.k.a. Annie Clark, a multi-instrumentalist who has played with Sufjan Stevens and the Polyphonic Spree — was a carefully crafted, well-reviewed album that sort of went nowhere. But Marry Me didn’t have “Actor Out of Work,” the lead single from next month’s Actor; this neat little gem — all chugging guitars and Clark’s elegant vocals — sounds to us like a breakout waiting to happen. The video’s not too shabby, either: In a giant empty warehouse, and in between casting subtle quizzical looks and over-enunciating, Clark auditions actors, who cry on demand.
This morning, the papers carried news that Madonna was unflinching in her determination to overturn a court ruling and adopt young Mercy James from the Malawi orphanage where she's been living for most of her childhood. "I want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and health care possible," Madonna said in an e-mail to a local newspaper, adding that she hoped that one day her son David Banda and Mercy would be able to return to Malawi together to help other orphans. Later today, an impeccably timed Australian interview with Madonna's former nanny Angela Jacobson aired in Australia. The nanny — who, it was rumored, was fired over comments she made about the singer on her Facebook page — gave the Material Mom glowing reviews. "It would have been a wonderful opportunity for the other little girl. She would have been well taken care of," Jacobsen lamented. "It was a loving family." According to the former nanny (who was replaced by a French-speaking au pair when David started taking the language in school), everyone in the household ate a kosher, macrobiotic diet (no salt, no sugar), and the children weren't allowed to ever touch food from McDonald's.
There were no TVs or newspapers in the house, but the children entertained themselves in other ways. Madonna was a "fantastic mother; loving, caring, spent lots of time with the children. I mean, hardworking, but fantastic." Now, even though all of this is very positive, we imagine the confidentiality agreement the nanny signed in order to work with the pop icon was pretty ironclad. Either she's cruising for a bruising in court with this, or she's got permission from Madonna at the moment to let slip what a great mom she is. We'd believe both.
Masaki Kobayashi's ten-hour epic trilogy The Human Condition is playing at the Film Forum through Thursday (with three bathroom breaks). New York's David Edelstein survived it and has posted a few notes on his blog: "Yes, it’s worth it, but more for the experience — for the commitment itself — than because Kobayashi’s humanism will rock your world." [Projectionist]
The Times today had three stories about the media's epic struggle to stay afloat.
• Piece No. 1 was really actually about the Times: Ever since the New York Times Company threatened eleven days ago to sell or close the Globe unless it accepted deep cost cuts, Boston has been in a state of near shock. Many influential locals waxed poetic on how much this paper means to them, but so far no one's ponied up the cash. [NYT]
• Piece No. 2, David Carr's column, was ostensibly about the AP's fight with Google, but really it was about the Times: "How much is this sentence worth? This paragraph? This column?" Carr began by pontificating. "Would copying and replicating it elsewhere enhance its value — or diminish it?" Good question! We have no idea. [NYT]
• Piece No. 3 was about how magazine publishers are worried that if they raise their prices they'll lose subscribers, but you could tell it was really about the Times and how they felt undervalued. [NYT]
Way to be self-referential, Times! And they say newspapers are having trouble adjusting to the attitudes of the Internet.
• The Chicago Tribune plans to cut another 20 percent of its newsroom staff in yet another bid to reduce expenses amid continuing advertising declines. This is total déjà vu, because we've definitely written this before. [Chicago Business]
• Current Media, a cable-television company co-founded by former U.S. vice-president Al Gore, has shelved plans for a $100 million initial public offering (IPO) citing "market conditions." [AFP via Google]
• Gannett Co., the largest U.S. newspaper publisher by circulation (including USA Today and 80 other dailies), reports earnings on Thursday, kicking off what is expected to be the ugliest quarter for the industry in recent memory. [WSJ]
• Marriott International, claiming guest demand for newspapers had dropped about 25 percent at its 2,500 U.S. hotels, decided it will become the first major hotel company to stop automatic newspaper delivery to guest rooms, shifting to a system based upon customer preference. Guests will have a choice between USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, the local paper, or no paper. [Editor & Publisher]
• Alec Baldwin, a frequent columnist for the Huffington Post, slams the site for pretending to be journalism on the site itself. "You can piss on anyone you want, say anything you want, and so long as it is within the boundaries of HuffPo politesse, you are in." Apparently! [HuffPo]
Front Page: Former Red Wagon prexy to head up shingle -- Bobby Cohen, who most recently ran Douglas Wick and Lucy Fisher's Red Wagon banner, has been tapped to head up the Kurtzman/Orci shingle, which is based at DreamWorks.
Sales of women's apparel fell 6 percent in the U.S. in the first nine months of 2008. But sales of menswear rose 1 percent. Even Tom Ford, who makes $10,000 fur boots and $990 jeans, said sales are brisk. “Women move from brand to brand depending on who has done a particular trend," Ford explains. "Men go into a store and they will spend more money because they’ll buy for the whole season. They don’t look at shopping as a recreation the way women do.” So men are creatures of need, and $5,000 Tom Ford suits are necessities. [FT]
BEHIND BARS OF SOUND: Phil Spector has been found guilty of murder and will face at least 18 years in prison. It's always the quiet temperamental alcoholic drug-addicts who wave guns at people in recording studios you gotta watch. (Variety)
TRAINSPOTTING - THE MUSICAL: Leonardo DiCaprio's advice for Zac Efron: "Don't do heroin." You gotta ask yourself, Zac, who do you idolize more, Leo or Keith Richards? (People)
TWITTER REMAINS EVIL: This Tila Tequila stalker story is more than a little unsettling. And if it's really early viral promotion for Saw 6: A Saw At Love with Tila Tequila, it's even more unsettling. (Radar)
RETARDED LOGIC: One way to make the universe fold in upon itself: ask Robert Downey Jr. if Jamie Foxx goes "full retard" in The Soloist. (Vulture)
THIS IS SAD: Harry Kalas, longtime Phillies broadcaster and voice of NFL Films (and the Puppy Bowl!) passed away today at the age of 73. Kalas and Don LaFontaine have now both died in less than a year? James Earl Jones, you better live forever. (Philly.com)
Front Page: Cable net unveils 'Johnny Weir,' 'Day Before' -- New series featuring U.S. figure skating Olympian Johnny Weir as well as the behind-the-scenes lifestyle choices of fashion models highlighted Sundance Channel's upfront presentation to advertisers Monday.
Apparently The Guardian has been publishing its series of Digested Classics for going on a year now, but it wasn't until we received a Google Alert over the weekend (we long ago set one for Douglas Coupland) that we noticed it. Each week, John Crace writes a 700-word critical essay, one that the paper deems an "incisive pastiche," of seminal works of literature. We loved what he did with Generation X and wanted to share it with you. Simple as that! [Guardian UK]
The chiller, more level-headed Kanye West doesn't have to face the music just yet.
The rapper's arraignment on vandalism, battery and grand theft charges, originally scheduled...
A discussion of the hardships Todd Palin has endured in his adult life, from a long-overdue profile in the upcoming issue of Esquire:
The mention of snowmobilers turns the conversation from trapping to ... some of the situations Todd's been in on his sleds. Skipping like a rock across an unexpected patch of open water in — 40 degrees. Or getting lost in a snowstorm hundreds of miles from anywhere. Or flipping over and landing with his arm literally inside the spinning gears of his sled's tread, where an inch's movement one way or another would have ripped it right off at the shoulder. And of course there's that thing that happened last year.
At this point, we were sure the writer was going to discuss Sarah Palin's failed bid for the vice-presidency. But no:
[Todd's dad] gets up and plucks a photo album from a bookshelf, flips through it till he finds what he's looking for. It's a close-up of two pale legs, both horribly mottled with blood and bruises. It could be a crime-scene photo, something a forensics investigator might mull over for clues. The legs are Todd's. The injuries are some of the ones he got last year, when an old snow-covered oil drum near an abandoned Air Force base along a remote stretch of the Yukon River bucked him off his snowmachine and sent him flying seventy feet. The landing broke his left arm and banged up the rest of him. At the time of the accident, Todd had been nearing the end of the Iron Dog. He ended up being towed across the finish line by his partner, Scott. The broken arm made the headlines, but Chuck thinks this picture tells more of the story. Riding with a broken arm is one thing. You can ride with a broken arm. But riding with legs like that, where every jolt of the snowmachine is a punch to a bruise, would be something else. He figures nobody really understands how much pain Todd was in. And he figures Todd would never talk about it himself.
Turns out running to be the Second Husband (or whatever he would have been had Sarah Palin and John McCain won) wasn't the most painful thing Todd Palin went through in 2008. But we're betting it was a close second.
After the backlash over his critique of Michelle Obama for wearing a cardigan to meet the Queen, along with other clothes by foreign labels when she was in Europe, Oscar de la Renta went on The View to explain himself. "My words were really ill-chosen words," he acknowledged. "I did say a lot of very wonderful things. They just happen to pick those words. Anyway, that’s a fact of life." Sure, blame the media. But Barbara Walters didn't let him off so easy. She forced him to explain why he said Michelle shouldn't wear a cardigan. "I said she should not wear a sweater," he said. "She’s entitled to wear whatever she wants. And I chose my words badly. And I regret it." He added that he thinks Michelle is a "great lady" and that he said what he did because he thinks Michelle has "a great opportunity ... because of her high visibility to do something wonderful for an industry which employs a lot of people in this country." This is true, and no one can deny that the American fashion industry is struggling now. But she always wears American labels. Wearing three outfits by foreigners isn't going to crush the industry.
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps' book debut, Class With the Countess: How to Live with Elegance and Flair, isn't even on sale yet, but she's already working on a follow...
Front Page: Off-lot film shooting slows, but TV rises -- Off-lot feature production in Los Angeles posted its weakest quarter ever during the opening three months of this year amid the threat of an actors strike and the ongoing trend of features shooting outside Hollywood.
No need for a changing of the channel in Boston.
Beantown's NBC affiliate, WHDH-TV, has backed off from an earlier decision to air local news at 10 p.m. instead of the upcoming Jay...
Goldman Sachs announced earnings today, and they have posted a $1.8 billion profit for the first quarter of 2009, so there. Their first order of business, they say, now that they're feeling confident, is selling $5 billion worth of stock, so they can pay off the damn TARP and CEO Lloyd Blankfein will stop having to go to Washington and pretending to be sorry about being rich. "If permitted by our supervisors and if supported by the results of the stress assessment," of course. Analyst Dick Bove knew they were going to do this, and he thinks it is a crap idea: “I have continually believed that extreme measures are being taken in this current financial crisis because hysteria has replaced sound thinking,” he wrote in a research note earlier today. “If Goldman Sachs makes the decision to bend to this hysteria by selling 80 million shares of stock it would be a black mark against management.” Whatever, Bove. Lloyd is a Neil Young man and he's decided it would be better to burn out than to fade away.
While digging through Monday's best television, everyone at Best Week Ever was particularly impressed by just how unimpressed this little prodigy was with the Today Show anchors. She is already on the short list for this Friday's show. Pay very close attention to her patronizing clapping at the end of the clip:
Because (a) they should have made him the Meet the Press host in the first place, and (b) nothing can be worse than the fifteen hours of prison documentaries they currently air, NBC has decided to give political savant Chuck Todd his own weekend show on MSNBC. The details of the show are still being worked out, but it would be wise to use a format as close to Meet the Press as possible, so as to prepare for Todd's inevitable transition to the temporarily David Gregory–helmed Sunday-morning staple. They can even call it something similar, like Get Acquainted With the Press. Also, time should be set aside each week for Todd to show off his long-forsaken French-horn skills. These are our demands.
Cassie used to have this enviably long, thick cascade of hair. The kind that would probably make a great cushion if you were in the window seat on a plane and wanted to lean your head against the wall and sleep. But now, if Cassie wants to sleep in such a way on a plane, she'll have to sit on the left side of the aircraft, because she shaved the right side of her head. She posted the photo to Twitter over the weekend and wrote:
Sometimes in life, you need a change ... Something deeper than what you thought you were capable of ... Something that displays the 'I don't give a f---' attitude that was always present, but never showcased ... & something that will shock your mother, but make her call you a ROCK STAR.
Which is why you get your belly button pierced when you're 14 and call it a day. We are not feeling this look on Cassidy. We never felt it on Alice Dellal, we never liked it on Britney. Call us not progressive. Call us wedded to the norms of societal acceptance. But the main problem isn't that she's a girl and society prefers women to have long hair. It's that we can't imagine anyone, male or female, looking good with hair covering only one of their brain lobes. And if Cassie is a sign that the style, championed by Alice Dellal, is becoming a trend, we're afraid anything can catch on. It's only a matter of time before ladies in this city go clubbing without pants.
As you may recall, The Soloist, which stars Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx, was originally supposed to open in the thick of Oscar season last year. However, the powers that be at DreamWorks instead decided to put all of their Academy Award eggs in the Revolutionary Road basket, leaving director Joe Wright's follow-up to Atonement to languish on the shelf for a few months and accumulate bad buzz. In particular, Jamie Foxx's performance as the homeless musical prodigy Nathaniel Ayers has been labeled by a number of websites as the actor's "full retard" moment. So much so that an unnamed journalist at a recent Los Angeles press conference for The Soloist actually had the audacity to ask Robert Downey Jr. what his Method-acting character from Tropic Thunder, the very same one who uttered the phrase "Never go full retard" to Ben Stiller's Academy Award–obsessed action star, would think of Foxx's performance. And, as you might expect, Downey Jr. was not pleased.
First Journalist: I’ve got to ask. What do you think [Tropic Thunder Method actor] Lincoln O’Siris would think of Jamie’s performance in this? Robert Downey Jr.: Next question. Robert Downey Jr.: By the way I could just say that to all them. First Journalist: Do you think he’d approve? Robert Downey Jr.: I have no idea how to even begin answering that question. And by the way — I want to have a good time. I want to have a great time, just that one tied my fucking shoelaces together right off the bat. What else you got?
While Robert Downey Jr. certainly did the classy thing by refusing to answer the journalist's (admittedly hilarious) line of questioning, we believe that this is one of those instances where a "no comment" speaks infinitely louder than a quick dismissal would have. We're still (mildly) interested in seeing the film, but after seeing the now seemingly mild-mannered Ayers appear on 60 Minutes last month, it'll mainly be to judge for ourselves whether or not Foxx has committed a spiritual tribute to Simple Jack on celluloid.
• The new Lindsay Lohan wrist-tattoo mystery is solved. It's a quote from Marilyn Monroe: "Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle." So twinkle on,...
This morning, I posted about Us Weekly's daily poll, "Do You Like The Obamas' New Dog?", pointing out that 36% of people for whatever reason decided they did not, in fact, like the new presidential pet. Apparently, anti-water dog tensions have been mounting throughout the day, because the poll results have taken a drastic turn towards doggie disapproval...
Here was the poll at 11:00 this morning:
And here's the poll at 5:00 pm:
I'm guessing Kevin Smith's Twitter followers aren't huge fans of Portuguese water dogs?
[Also, note that they got rid of the hundredths decimal place in the results - how am I supposed to make exact calculations when I calibrate my next shuttle launch to these poll results?] Source: Best Week Ever | 13 Apr 2009 | 9:15 pm
MAKEUP
• Michelle Obama is the first First Lady to hire a full-time makeup artist. Ingrid Grimes-Miles travels with her and is credited with making her eyebrows look less "angry." [NYP]
• The Lipstick Index — the theory that when the economy tanks, lipstick sales rise — is out. The Foundation Index — the theory that when the economy tanks, foundation sales rise — is in. [Financial Times via Jezebel]
HAIR
• Ruth Madoff has been banned from the Pierre Michel Salon on East 57th Street because many of the salon's patrons were victims of her husband's Ponzi scheme. [NYP via Racked]
• Guess what? Celebrities wear hair extensions. Here is a gallery of them featuring Audrina Patridge, Paris Hilton, and Sarah Jessica Parker. [Total Beauty]
SKIN
• There are 90 different uses for Botox, including buttock deformity, overactive bladder, and bone-tumor pain. Only five have been approved in the U.S. [NYT]
For two weekends in a row now, we've had mornings where we've woken up, looked out the window at the sunny sky, and thought to ourselves: "We should go outside and experience springtime in New York today!" Of course, we haven't really ended up doing that (it's not as warm as it looks!), but luckily, some adventurous city-dwellers did. And they took their cameras with them. We culled Flickr to find some of our favorite shots of the city blossoming into the warm season.
In town for appearances on Saturday Night Live, Letterman, and Jimmy Fallon to promote their terrific, club-ready new album, It's Blitz!, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs played an unannounced show last night at Santos' Party House to friends, family, and the lucky few who got wind of the performance and braved the windy weather, standing in line outside the little club for hours. Karen O appeared in an outsize sort of kimono, stroking the mike like Tina Turner, before stripping down to a tiny dress. Nick Zinner’s board of guitar effects has grown to resemble something on the SCI FI Channel; his set list detailing his effect changes was so complex, it looked like a map of the human genome.
The band has grown, too, to include Slint's David Pajo on synthesizers, acoustic guitar, and — yes — bass. Although they've essentially transformed themselves into a dance act with It's Blitz! — and the set wasn't as chaotic as their early, alcohol-driven shows — the Yeahs' set showcased their entire career, and Zinner’s snarling guitar, quieted on the new album, last night added heft to the newer, synth-heavy tracks. While O vamped and careened around the stage, Zinner rocked out — which for him means just swinging his well-worn Stratocaster back and forth as if he were watering the lawn. The band churned out a dead-on version of “Human Fly,” a tribute to fallen Cramps front man Lux Interior; for their encore, they took requests called out by sweaty, delighted fans. The spacious arrangements and the move away from crashing-riff rock marks a new direction for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but they have it down cold.
The website CHUD posted a brief interview with Dan Akyroyd talking about the long-rumored next Ghostbusters installment, and after reading the following paragraph, my brain is hurting about 10% more than it already this morning:
"...but there'll be a whole new generation [of Ghostbusters] that has to be trained. And that whole new generation will be led by an individual that you'll all love when you hear who it is, but I'm not going to tell you now. There will be lots of cadets, boys and girls, who'll be learning how to use the cyclotron, the accelerators, and the new stuff. The nuon splitter, the inter-planary interceptor, all these great tools they're going to have to flip from dimension to dimension.
My reactions to this paragraph, in chronological order:
1 Second After Reading: Yaaaaaaay Ghostbustersssssss!!!!!
10 Seconds After Reading: Dan Akyroyd sounds excited! That's probably good.
30 Seconds After Reading: I wonder who the "individual we'll love when we hear who it is" is?
31 Seconds After Reading:Seth Rogen.
60 Seconds After Reading: Wait a minute, none of that paragraph makes any sense.
90 Seconds After Reading: Just read it again and it still makes no sense. Boys and girls learning to use the cyclotron? What the f*ck movie series is he talking about?
120 Seconds After Reading: If someone described this plot to me and it wasn't a Ghostbusters movie, I'd immediately think it was the dumbest piece of crap I'd ever heard.
180 Seconds After Reading: Will this involve the Kid Blues Brother from Blues Brothers 2000?
200 Seconds After Reading: Please, Lord, let this movie not be terrible. Source: Best Week Ever | 13 Apr 2009 | 8:30 pm
Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly jar. This week, the Art-School Grad Student who's sleeping around: 26, female, Upper East Side, straight, single.
DAY ONE 7:30 a.m.: Dizzily board the early-morning Acela back from a weekend home in Boston. 8:45 a.m.: Replay the activities from weekend. For some sad reason I get more sexual action in Boston than New York. One easy explanation is that my only fuck buddy lives in Southie. We play out porno-like fantasies. He has been a fuck buddy for eight years, with a five-year hiatus during which time I was (almost) completely faithful to ex. 9 a.m.: Read same art-theory homework sentence 30 times. Think about ex, with whom I recently ended our LTR. Ex was very loyal, sweet, and supportive, but mentally unstable. Deep down I knew our relationship was never healthy, but stuck it out two years too long. I’ve become such a whore since. I think I am hoping for my next serious relationship to be "the one," yet I'm enjoying the freedom. 2:20 p.m.: Cannot pay attention in class. Cannot get over that, after seeing my fuck buddy, I proceeded to go out later, get wasted, and sleep over with/fuck the only boy that I cheated on the ex with. I call him the Ugly Leprechaun. 7:10 p.m.: In spin class. Hate the cheesy pop music. Look at myself in distant mirror and think it's unfair how I totally adore Ugly Leprechaun, and he doesn't seem to be thankful for it. Maybe if I lost ten pounds. 12:50 a.m.: Can't sleep. Call ex. He doesn't pick up.
DAY TWO 2 p.m.: Spend most of the morning printing photos. I have a problem where I really need the red blink of my BlackBerry. Disappointed by lack of communications. 3:30 p.m.: Go to 71 Irving Place for coffee/to read. End up looking around at eye candy more than the Lacan. 9 p.m.: Watch DVR-ed Gossip Girl. Want Chuck Bass. 10:40 p.m.: Have been mulling over a Craiglist ad for months. 1 p.m.: Do it. Ad is up, and quite perfectly written if I may be so vain. 2:15 a.m.: Only three responses so far? I'm disappointed. One guy actually seems pretty hot. Need to turn phone on silent and take my Ambien.
DAY THREE 8:45 a.m.: Wake up to twelve CL e-mails. Damn. This is fun. So many pictures. A poem. Mostly foreigners. 1 p.m.: Thank God it’s not the week I am assigned to present during critique, as I am busy e-mailing three potential CL suitors I’m actually intrigued by. 4 p.m.: Super turned-on by one response from a guy who does not fit my criteria on paper. Didn't go to college, lives off-island (Brooklyn), self-employed D.J., has a lot of ink — but it's the pics of his inked arms and body that suddenly make me tingle. 9:45 p.m.: Am pissed off beyond belief. Invited to big Jewish benefit by friend who said I could buy tix at door. Is sold out when I arrive, and Hasidic Jew will not budge, even with my offer of doubling the charity amount. I spent way too much time getting beautified and money on cab ride. Didn't realize how many good-looking Jewish people are in this city. My mom wants me to marry Jewish, but I always date Irish Catholics. 10:15 p.m.: Meet CL Wall Streeter new to town at bar. He is handsome, but not exactly my type. We first go to Duane Reade to buy the right type of light bulb for his newly delivered designer lamp. He is incredibly obnoxious to the employees in DR, but informs me he is friends with all of them. 11:30 p.m.: After three glasses of wine I agree to go check out his newly decorated apartment. It's nice in a spare, feng shui style, but I want to leave. Some sort of curious will keeps me glued to couch. 11:45 p.m.: He is making out with me. It’s only okay. He keeps telling me how cute I am. How he loves my curves. I go into autopilot. He asks to finger me up the ass. He doesn’t come and I don’t either. 12:30 a.m.: He really wants me to stay over, but I realize sleep is not going to happen here. In cab I make a mental note that I am officially a whore, will never tell anyone about this.
DAY FOUR 5 p.m. Stay focused on work all day. Ignore all CL e-mails. Finalize wholesome weekend plans, including a live trance show Friday, and dinner with girls from college field-hockey team Saturday. 9 p.m. Ignore texts from CL guy from yesterday asking me to meet up again.
DAY FIVE 10 a.m.: Start day off right by skipping coffee and drinking lots of water in preparation for drugs I know I will ingest later. 5 p.m.: Response from Tattooed Guy. Text back and forth and make date for tomorrow night at Death and Co. I figure a few drinks prior to dinner with the girls won't hurt. I'm actually quite excited. 1:30 a.m.: Rolling beautifully at Pacha. So happy we were offered VIP at door for free because it grants us access to upstairs balcony with tons of fans blasting. See through dilated eyes that crowd is surprisingly not too sketchy. 4:20 a.m.: Home. Listen to music. Masturbate to odd fantasy of making out with myself — a doppelgänger/fantasized twin. Weird, but I always get super turned on by said fantasy even though I usually hate the way I look. Fall asleep eventually.
DAY SIX 1 p.m.: Eventually roll out of bed. Not depressed, but very drained. Take a hit of weed. Bad idea; feel even more lethargic and brain-dead. 3:30 p.m.: Brunch, but leave friends as the crowd makes me nauseated. 3:50 p.m.: Puke at home. Feel a little better. Know I will rally tonight, but figure I will be in early, around midnight. 6:15 p.m.: Arrive fifteen minutes late to meet tattooed CL boy. OMG, he is so cute. Totally my type. 8 p.m.: I am drunk, and don't want to leave to meet my friends for dinner. He walks to me to the dinner and I tell him he is cute and I hope to hell he'll come out later and join me. 9:10 p.m.: Get text from tattoo guy saying he thought I was adorable too and will come back to the city only if I promise to make out with him. Then, he's just kidding. Sorta. I’m beaming. 12:30 a.m.: With large co-ed group of friends. Should not be so wasted. Wall Streeter texts more, which I ignore. Realize he is stalker type. 1:40 a.m.: Somehow wrangle a handful of my friends to go to Heathers with me to meet Tattoo Guy. He is with a hilarious gay friend of his from home who is crashing at his place for a while. 1:50 a.m.: Making out with Tattoo Guy. Have bad spins. Tell him I need water and to sober up before hooking up again. He gives me a line of his own stuff. 3:30 a.m.: Back at his place in Brooklyn. He has an awesome turntable setup and is playing records while me and gay friend dance. I'm much more sober thanks to only drinking water for a few hours, but have a lot of drugs in system. 5:30 a.m.: Trying to sleep in his bed while he still plays music. He gives me a Valium. We make out for a while. 6:30 a.m.: Sun is up and I'm not asleep. I say fuck it. Feel completely loopy and insane and pop an E. This is turning out to be perhaps the biggest drug binge of my life. 10 a.m.: Baaaad decision-making. E this time just makes body feel cold and achy. Hug toilet for a while, which, for some reason, feels really good. 1 p.m.: In bed with TG. Am freaking out. I feel very unsafe, depressed, and scared. He tries to calm me. 2 p.m.: Somehow all bad feelings suddenly lift. Am loving making out with TG. He sticks his fingers in me and tells me my pussy feels amazing. Certainly feels amazing to me. We whisper our sexual fantasies to each other. His are definitely darker than mine, but I don't care. We talk about our exes. We talk about dreams. I find out he has a young daughter and I don't care. I don't want to stop kissing him. 2:45 p.m.: Two uncanny voice mails. One is from mom who says she and dad are very proud of how well I am doing in the city. Other is from ex wondering why my cell is going straight to voice mail. 4:20 p.m.: I tease TG but he can't seem to get hard. Says too many drugs. I’m doubtful and get a little insecure. He also keeps saying "Really?" when I say I won't have sex with him. Not today. Can't tell if he is actually upset with me. He should just tell me to leave but for some reason doesn't. Eventually fall asleep. 6:30 p.m.: We try to have sex. I make him wear a condom. He stays hard for less than a minute. I'm annoyed that I gave in for nothing but try to stay positive. 7:10 p.m.: Text from Wall Streeter saying, "I will DELETE YOU." WTF? Should I worry for my life? 9 p.m.: Hang out with gay roommate. Order food. Joke around. Sarcasm has started to flow brilliantly from my recovering drugged-out mind. 11:30 p.m.: In bathroom, I notice prescription bottle. Shouldn't look, but who wouldn't? Suddenly sick-feeling. Valtrex. Shit. Could I have contracted from five-minute intercourse with condom? 11:35 p.m.: Try to act normal. Watch more TV. Wonder when these guys are going to call me a car. 12:35 a.m.: Car is finally called. Tattoo and I agree it feels like we've spent a week together. In car home I realize I am totally fucked because I have kinda fallen for a high-school dropout who has a Valtrex prescription, drug habit, and a child. 2 a.m.: Pop Ambien.
DAY SEVEN 10 a.m.: Know this is going to be one hell of week as feeling in love with Tattoo Guy, and now super-depressed. Make appointment with school shrink. 11 a.m.: On own, fantasize buying home in Brooklyn with Tattoo Guy and starting a spin studio in basement with awesome spin-table setup. Every night would focus on a different genre of music. 1 p.m.: Go to free STD-testing clinic in Chelsea.
TOTALS: Two acts of masturbation; one act of mutual petting; one act of intercourse; two Craigslist blind dates; two nights of drug use.
Good news! No blood was drawn at America's Next Top Model's second New York audition on Saturday. If only we could say the same thing about the fragile emotional state of wannabe contestants. The last time Tyra Banks tried to hold auditions for the thirteenth season of the show, those in line freaked out at the sight of a smoking car and trampled each other. On Saturday, police arranged barricades and the line was peaceful. The New York Times reports that about 1,200 women tried out. And by try out, we mean stood in line for hours only to get rejected within seconds of entering the audition room and go home crying. They included the five seven 27-year-old Jenny Whoa who said she was "shellshocked." And 25-year-old Mecca Aaron, who showed up even though she is six three and the asinine height requirement for the season is five seven and under. This was the fourth time she tried out for the show. Another girl even flew in from California.
Making this all much, much sadder, the Daily News reports that these castings are just for show, and the actual contestants are preselected in secret casting sessions. Upon our stars. Contestants are preselected to fit whatever the producers want for the season? And people who get trampled trying to get on the show after waiting on line for hours have no shot? They don't say. Producers reportedly secretly scout for contestants on My Space and the street. Remember aspiring model Tatiana Stewart, whom The Wall Street Journal profiled a while back? She was scouted on the street by ANTM casting agents and auditioned for the show that day.
So Tyra Banks has somehow sold the dream that you can be anything you want to be — even if you want to be a model, weren't born looking like one, and there's nothing you can do about that. Yet she rejects thousands who believe her — making them feel terrible about themselves — while she plucks girls who actually have a shot at making it from the street like most model scouts. And what's worse, she doesn't even go to the auditions to spout off about girl power. We wish we could suggest that meant she has realized she's a walking contradiction, but she's just too, too dense.
The plane of New Jersey congressman Donald Payne was the target of mortar fire as it departed a Mogadishu airport earlier today. A spokesman for the militant group Al Shabab claimed responsibility, saying, "We fired on the airport to target the so-called democratic congressman sent by Obama." It's unclear whether the attack was part of the promised retaliation for the rescue of Captain Phillips or just standard, anarchic Somalian violence. Either way, Payne was unharmed in the incident and probably has no great desire to return for another fact-finding mission anytime soon. [Fox News]
If we were to give you an assignment to write down the ten things you're most looking forward to doing this summer, we're fairly confident that none of you would have "Watch more TV" on your lists. After all, television networks have long since ceded the entire season to their counterparts in the movie business, and savvy viewers have come to recognize that the major networks have little interest in doing anything other than serving up a heaping of low-cost (read: second-rate) talent shows and silly game shows. And whereas we had Mad Men to save us from the summer-TV doldrums for the last two years, pretty much all we have to look forward to this time around is the second season of I Survived a Japanese Game Show. Won't you follow along as we take a look at what other living-room surprises are in store for you this summer?
The Network: ABC The Outlook: ABC had itself a pretty strong summer last year, bolstered by the success of the water-soaked obstacle courses of Wipeout (TV Week called it "the surprise hit of the summer") and I Survived a Japanese Game Show. So it's no surprise to see that both of those shows are coming back to haunt us again this year. They'll be joined by Mike Judge's latest animated program, The Goode Family, Surviving Suburbia, and a whole scad of reruns. The Hit: ABC looks like it will have a stranglehold on Monday nights when it launches the latest installment of the newly revitalized Bachelorette franchise on May 18, which will be followed in a powerhouse dating block by Here Come the Newlyweds and Dating in the Dark (we can't wait to find out what that one's all about).
The Network: NBC The Outlook: Considering Vulture hero Ben Silverman's spotty track record, it's almost hard to fathom that America's Got Talent actually became one of last summer's most popular shows, averaging more viewers than any other broadcast-network program. So, in addition to that, NBC will be rebooting the former ABC reality show I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here (which remains a big hit overseas) and debuting something called America's Road Trip. And on the scripted front, look for shows like The Philanthropist, The Listener, and Merlin to be quickly be added to this chart. The Hit: America seemingly doesn't have taste, which is why it will continue to embrace Talent.
The Network: Fox The Outlook: As the old saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't reprogram it. Fox found a great deal of success last year by anchoring their two hours of prime-time programming each night with Hell's Kitchen and So You Think You Can Dance; that combo will be back, airing the same nights it did last summer (Tuesday and Wednesday/Thursday, respectively). Other returning entries include Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? and Don't Forget the Lyrics, along with newbie drama Mental. The Hit: Evil Fox geniuses continue their long streak of boundary-pushing reality shows with the dating show More to Love, a show in which a gaggle of overweight women will try to woo a "Kevin James type." After all, it is the year of the Blart.
The Network: CBS The Outlook: Who knows? Harper's Island, which did fairly strong numbers when it debuted opposite NBC's Southland last week, is the only thing we know that will for sure be airing this summer. Someone ought to tell their programmers that summer is right around the corner! The Hit: We'll have to catch up with you on this one!
[In this week's issue of New York, we spoke to 30 prominent New Yorkers about their first times in the city. We also interviewed and photographed 160 new arrivals of all different kinds. Now, we'd like to hear your stories. Please put them in the comments. Here's Intel editor Chris's.]
I first experimented with living in New York the summer before my senior year of college. I was an intern at Out magazine a couple of days a week, and to pay the bills I put on a tight green uniform and lifeguarded at the underground pool of the University Club on Fifth Avenue. I used to go out at night, as frequently as I could afford. It meant I spent a lot of time waiting, late at night, on the Bleecker stop of the F train (which, in the summer, is always a steady 138 degrees Fahrenheit) waiting for the subway to take me back to my sublet in Cobble Hill. I would sit on one of the wooden benches on the platform and write in my journal — which I was very good at keeping in those days, with all of that useless time on my hands. I would hash out ideas for this play I was writing, called Waiting for the F Train. It was about a boy who wrote in his journal while sitting on the F platform to go back to Cobble Hill. He always wanted to go to Coney Island, you see, because it was the end of the line, but he always ended up getting off the train before he got there. It wasn't very good, not only because it wasn't very original, but because I was usually vaguely drunk when I worked on it.
One day, while I was waiting for nearly 45 minutes, a man sat on the other side of the bench from me. He was dressed up in a clown outfit, and was singing very loudly. His costume seemed homemade, and it didn't really seem like he knew what a clown was supposed to look like. He had drawn a giant frown in black Sharpie over his mouth, and he had stuck the head of a reindeer stuffed animal to his chest using packing tape. We sad next to one another, with him singing Elvis songs, for a good twenty minutes. I remember looking at him and thinking that I should react in some way, because he was pretty terrifying to look at. But I didn't, because I was vaguely drunk, and instead I wrote it all down in my notebook to include in the play because I thought it was a magical moment, like watching a bizarre movie scene that you happened to be a part of. I would later learn that to live in New York is to be subject to those moments constantly.
You can see André wear this and other fabulous robes in the movie!
On Friday night following screenings of Valentino: The Last Emperor at City Cinemas, Vogue's André Leon Talley sat down with director Matt Tyrnauer for an audience question-and-answer session. Preening in his signature red Valentino graduation robe, André and Matt discussed everything from the fabulous scene with Valentino's five pugs getting their teeth brushed to the importance of having male models on the crew. If you haven't seen the movie yet and what you read below doesn't convince you to, you might not have a soul.
Audience Member: How did you get Valentino to let you film the pugs' teeth getting brushed? Matt Tyrnauer: He has a valet with the exclusive job to do the "toilette" of the dogs. They had special animal toothpaste and pug-length toothbrushes. Another time I saw this male model, who turned out to be his chauffeur, emerge with two silver bowls covered with Saran wrap. He went over and set them on the ground and I realized they were for the pugs — we were in Paris and he’d driven all the way from the château to deliver food that the chef there had made for the pugs. André Leon Talley: Very Duchess of Windsor.
ALT: When you had to show a rough cut to Mr. Valentino and Mr. Giammetti, did they take knives to your throat? MT: Let’s just say I had no lawyers when I started, and now I have 18. After they saw the film, I thought they were characters in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I showed them about five initial versions, all of which they hated. Giancarlo volunteered to move to New York for six months and edit the movie by my side. That finally changed at the Venice Film Festival. We were sitting in the balcony along with Valentino’s people, and afterward, the audience gave a very long standing ovation, which Valentino received like Mussolini. There’s something about Italians and balconies.
Audience member: How did Valentino and Giammetti always look so perfect? MT: We never started our filming day before noon. At noon they would appear. Presumably the morning was for bronzing, coiffing. That woman who had the pneumatic-breast issue told me that one summer Valentino was accidentally made a blond.
Audience member: When Valentino calls Giancarlo from Gstaad, does he not know how to dial long distance? Because he has a butler do it for him. MT: No, he doesn't. There would be a dialing situation. He lives a life that hasn’t existed for 50 years. Valentino never changed. He’s very anachronistic, but he was still relevant because he was a genius at what he did. ALT: Karl Lagerfeld knows how to dial.
Audience member: How was it doing this as your first film? MT: When Bruce Weber [the photographer] heard I was doing a film, he said, “Oh, you’ve never done a film before. I’ll take you out to lunch and we can talk about it.” He said, “Hire male models to work for you. It doesn’t matter if they know how to do anything; you’ll get double the time with Valentino and Giancarlo. And let me tell you, no better advice has been dispensed. We did hire male models, and eventually the job they ended up doing was putting the mikes on Valentino and Giancarlo before we’d start filming each day. You know, it has to go under the clothes. Well, they loved that. They’d say, “Is it time to get our mikes on yet?”
Audience member: André, Valentino dressed you himself for his big 45th Anniversary celebration in Rome. How does wearing Valentino make you feel different? ALT: It’s a dialogue and a process. For this piece, there was the adventure of going to Rome. Picking the fabric — well, actually they picked the fabric — rushing straight from the airport to the atelier. But I had Valentino suits back in the seventies. Valentino made my day suit for the wedding of Paloma Picasso in Paris. I think Karl Lagerfeld designed my evening suit.
Audience member: Why is there very little physical affection between Valentino and Giancarlo? MT: It’s a 50-year male relationship. ALT: They don’t live in the same houses. Valentino has his villa, Giancarlo has his apartment in Rome. Valentino has his château outside of Paris, Giancarlo has his apartment on the Seine. There’s affection, but it’s a different way of showing it. It’s like how French couples have mistresses. MT: I call my film the geriatric Brokeback Mountain.
"I can't imagine not doing Britain's Got Talent, and I can't imagine not doing X Factor. I guess [my show in] America is more likely to go, because I have got one year [left on] contract. Maybe that will be the end." —Simon Cowell on letting the Americans down first [TV Guide]
"I wrapped a movie called Zombieland, in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character. With my daughter at the airport, I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie." —Woody Harrelson comes up with an appropriate analogy for the paparazzi [EW via LAT]
"Oh, gosh. Showtime. I like Showtime, it's great. They let me do what I want to do. I appreciate it. I had to give them an award recently. More people murdering monarchs, what else — drug dealers, serial killers — my kind of people. All these Showtime shows — schizophrenics. Everyone has these severe problems." —Tracey Ullman on the misanthropic charm of Showtime [LAT]
"I think I have a better chance at getting an Oscar before a Grammy. The music industry is so fickle, there's so many politics." —Bow Wow on having his acting legacy covered [Contact Music]
"Trying to do an aggressive sex scene is quite difficult. Especially in a public place with a crowd of screaming extras with their little camera phones going click-click, taking pictures of your pasty white ass. I've had my fair share of bedroom antics in films, but they were a little more private." —Jason Statham isn't into doing it in public [NYP]
"I'll strip down to my underwear and my Ugg boots when I eat lunch in my trailer." —Eliza Dushku on her break outfit [Allure via People]
Upon seeing the trailer for the unbelievable filmed thing called Goopy on Friday, I joked "Euegene Levy truly couldn’t say no to having a vial of acid thrown in his face."
I can't decide what's more painful, the vial of acid or starring in your seventh-straight American Pie movie, the last four of which have been straight to DVD:
"American Pie : Book of Love", directed by John Putch (TVs "Scrubs") and penned by David H.Steinberg ("American Pie 2"), tells of a group of kids that discover the sex-bible that so prominently featured in the original film...
[Tara Reid] joins Bug Hall ("Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves"), Kevin M.Horton ("Big Game"), and another original "Pie" star, Eugene Levy, for the new pic. Wayne Newton and Sherman 'The Jefferson's' Helmsley also appear.
Wow, Tara Reid, Sherman Helmsley, and the Bug Hall? It's a veritable Ocean's Eleven but with more "UNRATED" graphics blocking boobs in the trailer!
Do you think Eugene Levy goes home after his seven minutes of work on each of these Pie films and watches Waiting For Guffman nine times in a row? After reading this story, I think I'm gonna go do that myself...
(via Film Drunk) Source: Best Week Ever | 13 Apr 2009 | 7:10 pm
Ridiculous, but true: Men who wear baggy pants that expose their skin or underwear are breaking the law in Riviera Beach, Florida. Last July, 70 percent of residents voted to make droopy drawers illegal, with the reasoning that they were trying to improve the image of the city. Since the ban took effect, twenty men have been charged in violation, which the public defender's office says is "focused exclusively on young black men." Now the ordinance is coming under fire by the public defender for being unconstitutional by violating freedom of expression. To which we say, finally. Of course it violates rights. And if you're wondering how less underwear exposure would improve a city's image, especially a beach town where bikinis and board shorts are standard, look at the location: Riviera Beach is next to Palm Beach. Saggy, underwear-exposing pants would have a hard time fitting in with the all-white golfer outfits at the country club, now wouldn't they? [NYT]
Katherine Heigl's brain-tumored Doctor Stevens isn't the only Grey's Anatomy MD with an uncertain fate! According to EW's Michael Ausiello — SPOILER ALERT! — T.R. Knight's Dr. O'Malley, previously rumored to be leaving the show, is joining the Army as a medic and, just before season's end, will be injured on the battlefield, leaving viewers, as well as Knight, in the dark over whether he'll return next fall.
Says Ausiello (who's way worse than we are about putting spoilers in headlines, by the way):
"T.R. doesn’t know whether George lives or dies," explains a source close to the show. "And, as a result, he doesn't know whether or not he has to come back next season." Legally speaking, Grey's creator Shonda Rhimes has until mid-June to decide whether to drop Knight — and all indications are she will use every last second of that time. Some are suggesting she may be forcing Knight to sweat it out as payback for wanting to jump ship. (The two have had a strained relationship since the Isaiah Washington blowup in 2006.)
We'll give it to Rhimes — we may not like her show, but we completely approve of her hilarious methods.
Take note, procrastinators: Anthony Sperduti and Andy Spade of offbeat concept store Partners & Spade are introducing a short-lived "Accounting Division" tomorrow from noon to 8 p.m. Certified Public Accountant Steve Stojowski will be completing complimentary 2008 tax preparations for stragglers in the front window of the shop (the same space that once housed the arresting-but-doomed bird aviary). "Should be funny — or helpful, depending on how on top of your taxes you are," offers Sperduti.
Scientists have discovered that most koalas living in Japan are suffering from the virus which causes little koala bear leukemia. What the hell kind of world is this? What kind of a world allows tiny bear cancer?! The kind of world that still makes me want to cuddle these little f**kers to death.
You know, if Jerry Lewis had a special bear cancer telethon, the ratings would be cray-cray.
Olivia Palermo's bitchy tactics may have finally scared Whitney Port away from Diane Von Furstenberg. "Page Six" reports that Whitney is returning to work for Kelly Cutrone at People's Revolution, which we're pretty excited about, because Kelly is more entertaining to watch on television than the people at DVF. Kelly tells girls they're anorexic. The people at DVF, well, there is that one lady named Alixe who doles out fake assignments to Whitney and Olivia, and not once has she suggested to anyone that they have an eating disorder. Boring! Whitney reportedly left DVF after Olivia got a promotion to publicist for DVF in London. But we don't think that's true, because we saw Olivia at a party recently, and when we asked her what she had been up to she said "traveling," but not in any way that was related to actual work or a career. However, we do hope that she and Whitney don't interact any less in season two. The vicious look on Olivia's face whenever she's in the same room as Whitney warms our hearts so. "Page Six" also reports that Elle creative director Joe Zee will appear in six episodes of season two, which just might fill the reality-TV void at Elle that Stylista never could after the magazine lost the Project Runway sponsorship. Elle declined to comment, but Joe would make another great addition! For a show about the fashion industry, there's a surprising dearth of fabulous gay men.
"Mel, I've been thinking things over, specifically that time you got that DUI and sexually harassed a police officer and yelled diatribes about Jew conspiracies and revealed a dark and genuinely crazy streak that you've concealed to the public for decades, and after two and a half years of thinking about it, I realized that maybe I don't want to be married to you anymore?"
Take it, TMZ:
We've learned Mel Gibson's wife Robyn has just filed legal papers to divorce Mel Gibson, her husband of 28 years, citing "irreconcilable differences." Pretty ironic -- Robyn signed the papers the day before Good Friday.
First off, TMZ, as every aggressive nerd cannot help but point out, the Good Friday thing isn't 'ironic,' it's a coincidence. Was she also 'completely decimated' by the experience? Nyyyah.
Second, TMZ really unearthed some secret information here; check out this bombshell of a scoop from their Exclusive "Using Basic Common Sense" Reporter:
We're told the couple grew increasingly apart over the last few years, especially since Mel's drunk driving arrest in 2006.
Our EXCLUSIVE TIPSTERS tell us that the couple's relationship was strained when Mel Gibson had one of the worst and most public blowups in celebrity history, essentially ruining his own career and raising severe questions about him as a human being. I wonder if Eddie Murphy's marriage was strained at all after he got caught soliciting a transsexual prostitute? Too bad TMZ wasn't around then, we'll never know... Source: Best Week Ever | 13 Apr 2009 | 5:15 pm
Front Page: Historical drama to return for fourth season -- Showtime has reupped "The Tudors" for a fourth season, allowing the historical drama to complete the saga of King Henry VIII.
Front Page: Former soap model found dead in L.A. home -- Adult film star Marilyn Chambers, star of hit film "Behind the Green Door," was found dead Sunday at her home in Canyon Country in northern Los Angeles County. She was 56.
An Us Weekly online poll asks the question "Do you like the Obama's New Dog?" and 36.81% of the readers (more than 1700 people) have read the poll and decided "You know what, I've given this a lot of thought and decided that I do not, in fact, like that dog that Barack Obama got for his children":
You have a problem with Obama's dog, 36% of people?? Well at least this dog won't START AN ILLEGAL WAR ON FALSE PRETENSES AM I RIGHT (easy ham-fisted applause from preaching-to-the-choir audience).
Also, is it really necessary for an Us Weekly poll to go to two decimal places? Couldn't just round that sucker up to 37%? Are people basing really exact mathematical calculations on these poll results? I assume yes. Source: Best Week Ever | 13 Apr 2009 | 4:30 pm
Ah, future mirrors. Those pesky little devices that don't exist but which can reflect the future of your life thirty years from now and beyond. While the device itself is merely a frivolous figment of a certain blogger's imadge, that's not to say one couldn't wonder what their own future mirror would say.
The following video from Britain's Got Talent was e-mailed to me no less than 10 times by friends and former co-workers who "thought of me" when they saw it. Watch it first:
Now, let's keep things honest. I am an avid fan of Les Miserables. Now if I said I knew all the words, you would likely hate me, so let's just assume that I know, like, 95 percent of the words. I can sing songs featuring three different parts with ease, and have even devised a way to die in my own arms during "A Little Fall of Rain."
That being said, the fact that a 47-year-old woman with giant eyebrows and support hoes on who probably sleeps on a mattress made out of cat carkies made so many people think of me? Well, I'm touched. By the gun barrel. Aimed at my forehead.
(I'm not gonna say I wasn't moved. I'd definitely go drinking with this woman and stage a hilarious rendition of "Dog Eat Dog (The Sewers)".) Source: Best Week Ever | 13 Apr 2009 | 4:00 pm
Gary Brooker, lead singer in the 1960's British pop group "Procol Harum," in London, 2006. Procol Harum's 1967 classic "A Whiter Shade Of Pale" is the most-played song in public places in Britain over... Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 13 Apr 2009 | 3:39 pm
Scottish producer-artist Calvin Harris scored his first U.K. No. 1 single yesterday (Sunday) with "I'm Not Alone" (Columbia/Sony BMG), while Lady Gaga's "The Fame" (Interscope/Universal) started a second week atop the album chart.
Rock music producer Phil Spector was convicted Monday of second-degree murder in the shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson at his mansion six years ago. Source: FOXNews.com | 13 Apr 2009 | 1:27 pm
Kendra Wilkinson is known across the world as being Hugh Hefners wonderfully wild former flame, but since moving out of the Playboy mansion and getting engaged to Philadelphia Eagle Hank Baskett, it seems Wilkinson is choosing prayers over posing. Source: FOXNews.com | 13 Apr 2009 | 1:23 pm
You've heard J.J. Cale's songs. "After Midnight" was done most famously by Eric Clapton. "Cocaine," too. Lynyrd Skynyrd had a hit with "Call Me the Breeze," Poco did "Cajun Moon," Santana performed "The Sensitive Kind," and Billy Ray Cyrus has done "Crazy Mama." But J.J. Cale himself tends to stay in the background.
Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band and the Beastie Boys will headline San Francisco's second Outside Lands Music & Arts Festival, to be held Aug. 28-30 at Golden Gate Park.
Pearl Jam will play live dates in the U.S. later this year, including the Outside Lands Festival in San Francisco Aug. 28-30, Billboard has confirmed. The band has also completed 14 songs for a new album and is working on a film with director Cameron Crowe, guitarist Mike McCready said in a radio interview late last month.
The cancellation came two days after Thornton made world headlines with a belligerent appearance on CBC radio's "Q." Source: FOXNews.com | 13 Apr 2009 | 9:37 am
Madonna has told a newspaper in Malawi that she still wants to adopt a girl from the poor African nation despite legal obstacles, to educate her and empower her to help people in her country. Source: FOXNews.com | 13 Apr 2009 | 9:27 am
Mel Gibson's wife has filed for divorce from the actor after 28 years of marriage, according to a report from TMZ. Source: FOXNews.com | 13 Apr 2009 | 9:22 am
Dancing With the Stars is down to eight, and it's not getting any easier.
Last week, David Alan Grier got stuck with the short end of the voting stick, while the heavier footed...
The boy genius has given way to the convicted murderer.
Phil Spector, the legendary record producer, eccentric and recluse with a reputation for building walls around people as much as...
Welcome back, TV fans!
Today, we've got the goods on Private Practice's second-season finale, and it is a doozy. Read on to find out which Oceanside Wellness peeps are quitting,...
Sawyer is starting his very own diaper initiative.
Josh Holloway and his wife, Yessica Kumala, are the proud parents of a baby girl, their first child together, a rep for the actor...
The passion of the wife has run dry.
Mel Gibson's wife of 28 years, Robyn Gibson, filed for divorce from the Oscar-winning director-actor, citing the ever-popular "irreconcilable...
The chiller, more level-headed Kanye West doesn't have to face the music just yet.
The rapper's arraignment on vandalism, battery and grand theft charges, originally scheduled...
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps' book debut, Class With the Countess: How to Live with Elegance and Flair, isn't even on sale yet, but she's already working on a follow...
No need for a changing of the channel in Boston.
Beantown's NBC affiliate, WHDH-TV, has backed off from an earlier decision to air local news at 10 p.m. instead of the upcoming Jay...
• The new Lindsay Lohan wrist-tattoo mystery is solved. It's a quote from Marilyn Monroe: "Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle." So twinkle on,...
The website 
The Network: ABC
The Network: NBC
Upon seeing the trailer for the 
"Mel, I've been thinking things over, specifically that time you got that DUI and sexually harassed a police officer and yelled diatribes about Jew conspiracies and revealed a dark and genuinely crazy streak that you've concealed to the public for decades, and after two and a half years of thinking about it, I realized that maybe I don't want to be married to you anymore?"
Take it, 
