"Uninvited" delivers shock value but no suspense

Read more posts by Chris Rovzar

Filed Under: early and often, politics, rod blagojevich

Source: CNN.com - Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 11:34 pm

…OF THE DAY

• SHUTOUT: The Illinois Senate voted 59-0 to kick Rod Blagojevich out of office. To put that in perspective, yesterday's senate vote for "Are puppies cute?" only went 53-6. (Fox News)
• OUT-BOOBING PETA: These GoDaddy Super Bowl ads keep confusing me... Is GoDaddy a porn site, or is it a site where people can purchase and register boobs? (Deadspin)
• BORN TO--GOTTA RUN, FOLKS: Bruce Springsteen promises a "12-minute party" at the Super Bowl this year. Followed by a 2-hour afterparty which consists of the band remaining onstage and playing encore after encore. (NY Times)
• SHOW-XUAL ASSAULT: Jeff from Top Chef complained in a People Magazine interview that the show "used me as a sex object." That's how I feel at BWE, Jeff, but you don't hear me bitching. (People)
• BRANCHING OUT: The screenwriter of Notorious is planning to adapt a biopic about the group Run-DMC. It will be called Notorious. (Hollywood Reporter)

Source: Best Week Ever | 29 Jan 2009 | 11:30 pm

Blunt, Segel added to 'Travels'

Front Page: Duo join Jack Black in Letterman-directed film -- Twentieth Century Fox is negotiating with Emily Blunt and Jason Segel to join Jack Black in "Gulliver's Travels," the Rob Letterman-directed reimagining of the classic Jonathan Swift tale.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 29 Jan 2009 | 11:30 pm

Chris Smith on Paterson’s One New Friend and Many New Enemies

The shouting about alleged marital affairs and blatant liars is over — for now, anyway. But just how much damage has Governor David Paterson done to himself by messing up the choice of a new senator? And, more important, what is the fallout going to cost the state?

One of Paterson’s primary goals was to show he was in charge, a legitimate leader instead of an accidental governor, and he failed miserably. His image has taken a beating — though less than the volume of media uproar might suggest. Polls in the immediate aftermath of the Paterson-Kennedy-Gillibrand fiasco show the governor’s approval rating down, but only to a not-disastrous 55 percent statewide. Paterson’s larger problem is that he’s still not very well known by voters, and the sense that he bungled the selection process isn’t a helpful introduction. His next act? Cutting services and raising taxes to close a $15 billion state budget deficit, never a crowd-pleaser.

Politically, Paterson has made himself a new best friend in former senator Al D’Amato. (Kirsten Gillibrand was a summer intern in D’Amato’s office and her father is one of D’Amato’s closest friends.) D’Amato has already been shaking the money tree on Paterson’s behalf; on the negative side, he’s an ethically dubious Republican lobbyist in an overwhelmingly Democratic state. A handful of women's groups have also praised Paterson.

Yet Paterson has collected many more new enemies, including donors loyal to the Kennedy family, Latino activists, and important segments of the political media. His weakness has handed even more legislative power to Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver and he’s invited a Democratic primary challenge from Attorney General Andrew Cuomo in 2010. But Paterson’s greatest immediate hurdle is the anger emanating from Washington. Yes, the Obama camp is disappointed and mystified by the governor’s humiliation of Caroline Kennedy. It’s in Congress, though, that Paterson and the state stand to pay a real price. Part of the hostility flows from the (short) record of our new senator, Kirsten Gillibrand. She’s at odds with her New York colleagues on issues ranging from gun control to her opposition to amnesty for illegal immigrants to her introduction of a balanced-budget amendment that could have bankrupted the state. (“That budget amendment wasn’t about her district,” one state pol says. “That’s about someone who believes in it.”)

Yet even though Gillibrand claims a newfound willingness to, um, modify what she believes, that won’t soothe all the bad feelings. “David has done himself real damage with Nancy Pelosi and Charlie Rangel,” says a Democrat — one who considers himself a Paterson supporter. Pelosi, the speaker of the House, is unhappy with the promotion of Gillibrand for both personal (the two haven’t gotten along) and political reasons (fighting to retain Gillibrand’s seat in 2010, which is likely to be a rough electoral year for Democrats, is a headache Pelosi doesn’t need). In 2004, she’d done Paterson, then a mere state senator, a major favor by helping him land a coveted speaking slot at the Democratic National Convention in Boston. That’s probably the last time she’ll be doing anything nice for Paterson.

Rangel, chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, is counting on Pelosi’s help to get through an ethics investigation. “So he has to tell Pelosi he wasn’t consulted, even though she knows Charlie is very close to Paterson,” a state political operative says. One irony is that Rangel had played the Senate sweepstakes deftly, largely staying out of it because he didn’t want to antagonize any of his fellow delegation members and because he knows Paterson’s capacity for surprise all too well. “It didn’t go unnoticed that the dean of New York’s delegation was not at Gillibrand’s announcement press conference with the governor,” a Democratic operative says.

And this morning, Paterson may have burned one of his few remaining — and most important — Democratic allies. A story in Politico portrayed Chuck Schumer as mounting a decisive last-minute push for Gillibrand. Washington insiders read the story as Paterson’s attempt to spread the blame for picking someone widely disliked by her colleagues. Schumer admitted liking Gillibrand, but he can’t be thrilled with being tied even tighter to her selection.

Fortunately some of the players in the drama have managed to stay focused on their day jobs — and won’t take out their disenchantment with Paterson by stiffing the state. Yesterday, for instance, Jerry Nadler scored a big victory, adding $3 billion in transit cash to the stimulus bill, with at least $214 million heading to New York (assuming the provision makes it through the Senate). And Schumer will remain his relentless self. Yet at a time when every state and municipality has its hand out, their governor hasn’t made the job of steering money to New York any easier. As he tries to survive, Paterson will have Gillibrand in his corner. But she’s about the only one he can count on.

Related: The Zany Adventures of (Senator) Caroline Kennedy [NYM]

Read more posts by Chris Smith

Filed Under: chuck schumer, david paterson, early and often, kirsten gillibrand, nancy pelosi, politics

Source: Daily Intel | 29 Jan 2009 | 11:20 pm

It’s ‘Chaos’ in Media Country

It’s a tumultuous day in the media world. Page Six Magazine is going quarterly, changes are underway at Women’s Health, editors are out at Ok!, staffers are being cut from ABC News, and everyone is still mourning Domino. Though, as always, there’s no shortage of interesting debates on new directions for the industry. After the jump, your sad — but free! — media news.

• “Chaos” has taken hold at Women’s Health! According to tipsters, the magazine’s new editor, Michele Promaulayko, formerly of Cosmopolitan, hasn’t jived with the full staff, and this is maybe because she knows she won’t be seeing some of them soon and plans to replace them with former Hearst staffers. The upcoming April issue marks Promaulayko’s editorial debut, and insiders are expecting it to look markedly different from past issues. [FishbowlNY/Mediabistro]

• Over at the Financial Times, most online content is currently for-pay, but the plan is being debated (over at Portfolio, Jeff Bercovici has a, er, colorful alternative that involves “collecting floating gold coins or mushrooms”). And a Mediabistro poll, at the last time we checked, finds that a majority of people (who read Mediabistro) would be willing to pay subscription fees for online versions of folded magazines. Would you?
[FishbowlNY/Mediabistro]

• Reader’s Digest is indeed cutting 8 percent of its staff. [FishbowlNY/Mediabistro]

• Wild speculation time: Could Condé Nast be forced to shutter The New Yorker? Blasphemy! [FishbowlNY/Mediabistro]

• OK! magazine’s editor-in-chief, Susan Toepfer, who arrived at the magazine just three months ago, has been fired. Sara Ivens left the magazine to get married and live in Kentucky, as the Post reports, but is now coming back on as editor-in-chief, apparently unable to catch a break. Toepfer’s (former) co-worker, general manager Kent Brownridge, once Jann Wenner’s wingman at Rolling Stone, is out as well. [NYP, Mixed Media/Portfolio]

•400 staffers at Disney-ABC are being laid off. [HR]

• Even college newspapers are feeling the print pinch [PBS]

• Capitol Hill chronicler the Congressional Quarterly is for sale, so that its backers can keep the St. Petersburg Times afloat. [WSJ]

• At least five web-only newspapers are taking the Pulitzer board up on that offer to award online newsrooms. [Editor & Publisher]

• And not to scare the Congressional Quarterly, but the Baltimore Examiner, a free newspaper, has failed to find a buyer, and folded. [Baltimore Sun]

Read more posts by Mike Vilensky

Filed Under: abc news, conde nast, congressional quarterly, domino, magazines, Media Deathwatch, ok, page six magazine, readers digest, the financial times, the greatest depression, women's health

Source: Daily Intel | 29 Jan 2009 | 11:14 pm

BEST WEEK EVER: The Full Episode!

Missed last week's episode of Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins while passed out the entire weekend in an alcoholic haze? Well, good news, Drunky Brewskies! We've got the entire episode... right here! OK, not here, but like, 55 pixels South. There you go... Make sure to tune in to tomorrow night's brand new episode!

Source: Best Week Ever | 29 Jan 2009 | 11:01 pm

Finding humor in 'Stuff White People Like'

The blog "Stuff White People Like" is wildly popular with fans who've embraced the hilarious, satirical sendup of the white middle class that -- according to the list -- have an ongoing love affair with things such as coffee (No. 1) and organic food (No. 6). It's now a book, and creator Christian Lander explained what's so funny.

Source: CNN.com - Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:44 pm

Alan Cumming Says Barack Obama Has a Big Wang

And no, we did not ask Alan the question he so obviously wanted us to ask.

Surrounded by huge projections of scantily clad supermodels from photographer Russell James’s new book, partygoers at Donna Karan’s Urban Zen space couldn’t help but fantasize about who else they’d like to see naked. “I’d like to see Obama naked,” Alan Cumming mused. But get your mind out of the gutter; the actor is curious simply from a scientific standpoint, to prove a theory.

“I think great leaders, charismatic leaders and men who are so confident and who have achieved so much, usually have big penises,” Cumming told us. “I think there’s a correlation between the level of confidence, the level of the way a man can hold a room and the way he conducts himself in life, with his penis size — with his comfort with his penis size.”

Cumming developed this theory, he says, through extensive research. “So much of male psyche is taken up with how big your cock is; it’s a huge deal in our lives, and so when you’re confident about your penis size, it shows.”

And his highly trained eye says Obama is hung. “Well, just look at him,” Professor Cumming explained. “Just the way he’s so kind of elegant and very confident in his body and himself.”

“Also,” Alan added as an afterthought, “someone told me that they worked out with him in a gym in Chicago, and it was big.”

Click here to read what everybody else at this fab shindig had to say about nudity and politics.

Read more posts by Bennett Marcus

Filed Under: alan cumming, barack obama, party lines, politics, the gayness of intel, wangs

Source: Daily Intel | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:35 pm

We Applaud Lady Gaga’s Latex Abomination

Notice how she changed her sunglasses? We kind of love that.

Bravo, Lady Gaga. Pop's most fabulous catastrophe went out in London last night with Marc Ronson, and she took our advice and wore bottoms. Real bottoms — not even tights she wishes were pants, but a full-on pencil skirt. Her entire outfit might look like it's made from condoms, but this is progress. More on her fashion philosophy from the Daily Mail:

'A girl's got to use what she's given and I'm not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does,' she said.

'So I take it to extremes. I don't say I dress sexily on stage - what I do is so extreme. It's meant to make guys think: "I don't know if this is sexy or just weird." '

We're not guys, but we're going with the latter. Now we just need to teach her that she can wear tops and bottoms together. Yes you can, Lady G. Yes you will.

Super-producer Mark Ronson takes raunchy Lady GaGa under his wing as they hit the clubs [Daily Mail]
Related: Dear Lady Gaga, Bottoms Are Your Friend

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: lady gaga, we don't think we're ready for this jelly

Source: The Cut | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:35 pm

Thanks for Nothing, PETA

In the blogging business, the photo at left is what we like to call "nightmare fuel." What would NBC's vice president of advertising standards, Victoria Morgan, say about this? The mind boggles. [Towleroad]

Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: ABC, Nightmare Fuel, The View, Victoria Morgan, Whoopi Goldberg

Source: Vulture | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:23 pm

What It Means to Be ‘Retired’ From Citi

The other night at his talk at the 92nd Street Y, we overheard Robert Rubin directing someone to call him at "the office" — meaning his office at Citigroup. That's weird, we thought, since Rubin retired over two weeks ago, and a colleague told the Journal he was "tired of it" over there. But now that we know about the perks former Citigroup CEO Sandy Weill has enjoyed since stepping down in 2006, we get why Rubin is sticking around.

Weill's package, which he is now giving up out of the goodness of his heart and for the love of the company, included:

• Around $3 million a year from the company in pension, consulting fees, and tax compensation
• An office in the General Motors building
• Full medical and dental coverage for himself and his wife
• Life insurance
• A company car and driver
• Use of the company's private jets

And to think, if Rubin stayed at HQ, he could have all that and the power to dart over to Vikram's office and give him noogies.

WEILL PITCHES IN [NYP]

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: banks, citigroup, robert rubin, sandy weill, White Men With Money

Source: Daily Intel | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:22 pm

The Top 10 Zac Efron Blingees

Here are the Top 10 winners in yesterday’s Blingee Showdown: Zac Efron Out! It was a super-tough competition, and I'm actually personally threatened by how good all of you are getting at Blingees. (If someone could explain to me in the comments how you cut out a figure and paste something behind it, or add patterns to his jacket, I'd be most obliged.) This new Blingee Showdown tradition is clearly something of a success, given how amazing the following Blingees are. There were dozens of great ones, but here are our Top 10. If you didn't make it, there's always next week!! 10. From Super Jenni:


9 - 1 Ahead... 9. From Missy Mayhem:


8. From Delia:


7. From DirtyDave:


6. From KellyGee:


5. From Andrea:


4. From Birch: (this one is inspired)


3. From Nate:


2. From Delia: (again!)


1. From TheLockness:


(With thanks to Intern Jackie for her help!)
Source: Best Week Ever | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:22 pm

Either This Construction Sign Was Hacked, Or We Better Watch Out For Nazi Zombies

This gritty news exposé from Austin dares to ask the question, "What would YOU do if you were driving down the road and saw a construction sign warning you 'ZOMBIES IN THE AREA - RUN'"?? The interviewee essentially responds "Umm...We found it kinda funny? Not sure what else you want me to say..."

Source: Best Week Ever | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:10 pm

'Slumdog' filmmakers fight back

Front Page: Best pic frontrunner faces exploitation charges -- The rewards of being an early awards favorite are many -- but so are the perils, as those behind Oscar best pic nominee "Slumdog Millionaire" learned this week.

Read more posts by Chris Rovzar

Filed Under: ink-stained wretches, page six, page six magazine

Source: Daily Intel | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:05 pm

Get Bedazzled Down There at Your Valentine’s Day Bikini Wax

Agy and her serious blue eyeshadow.

HAIR
• The Completely Bare salons are offering an "opulent bikini wax" for Valentine's Day. The treatment includes a 24-karat-gold spray and hand-applied Swarovski crystals in the shape of a heart or your partner's initials. Yes, they want to spray your vaginal area gold and then bedazzle it. [Butterfly Diary]

PLASTIC SURGERY
• A man who stabbed his girlfriend six times was trying to get her breast implants out because he paid for them. We are enormously disturbed. [Jezebel]

MAKEUP
• The pictures of the new contestants from America's Next Top Model were released yesterday, and people are already predicting their makeovers. Why wait to see Tyra crush their self-esteem? [BellaSugar]

• Blue eye makeup is still trendy. Agyness Deyn rocks it, and you can, too. Maybe. [Who What Wear Daily]

FRAGRANCE
• Here's the new commercial for the Hugo Boss fragrance featuring Jonathan Rhys Meyers. He has cartoons painted on his shirt. [Now Smell This]

Read more posts by Sharon Clott

Filed Under: americas next top model, beauty marks, fragrance, hair, jonathan rhys meyers, makeup, plastic surgery, tyra banks

Source: The Cut | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:05 pm

Making the Case for Milk to Squeak by Slumdog Millionaire

While we tend to side with the Bagger's opinion that Slumdog Millionaire has got this year's Oscar for Best Picture locked up, it's impossible to completely turn an intentionally blinded eye from the fire that the film has been coming under in the last few days. If Slumdog does in fact stumble between now and February 17 (the last day for Oscar voters to turn in their ballots), Milk looks like it's best positioned to capitalize on the stumble. In addition to it being incredibly well-respected within the community of voters who make up the Academy, there are two main factors that could help propel the film to glory on Oscar night.

1) Milk Is Still Building Momentum - As Anne Thompson sagely reports, over at Variety, Focus Features has taken the slow-and-steady approach to building their Oscar campaign for Milk. Whereas their campaign for Brokeback Mountain in 2005 crested too early, Milk is only now going into wide release. If the movie can perform strongly this weekend, it will be top-of-mind for Academy voters as they begin casting their ballots.

2) A Win for Milk Helps Ease the Sting of the Brokeback Snub - As we mention above, Crash was able to overtake Brokeback Mountain in the Best Picture race in 2005. Some attribute this upset to the belief that some of the older ranks of the Academy held strong anti-gay beliefs, an assertion that Rope of Silicon brings up in a post that breaks down this year's Oscar race. In their eyes, a vote for Milk could help to reestablish the Academy as a place where tolerance prevails above all else.

Then again, Sean Penn could end up getting in a brawl with the completely unpredictable Anil Kapoor at the DGA Awards on Saturday night, at which point the Old-Man Baby from Benjamin Button would become the odds-on favorite for the prize. It's awards season, man; anything can happen!

Oscar Watch: Is Milk Coming Up on the Outside? [Thompson on Hollywood/Variety]
Oscar Predictions: First Post Nomination Charts [Rope Of Silicon]

Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: Academy Awards, Kudos, Milk, Oscars, Sean Penn, Slumdog Millionaire

Source: Vulture | 29 Jan 2009 | 10:00 pm

Box office takes on the Super Bowl

Front Page: 'Uninvited,' 'Taken' among newcomers -- Breaking a longstanding taboo, Fox is releasing male-driven pic "Taken" on Super Bowl weekend in the hopes of tackling enough business on Friday and Saturday.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 29 Jan 2009 | 9:47 pm

Looking Through a Glass Hotel Room

A British couple looking for a bargain stay in New York found one at the Roger Smith Hotel this week. Their four-night stay was free, but they had to stay in a glass room on a midtown street corner, subject to scrutiny from tourists, New Yorkers, and our Tim Murphy. Watch the video and then head out to 47th and Lexington to point and laugh as they drink their tea.

Read more posts by Aileen Gallagher

Filed Under: roger smith hotel, tourism, tourists, videos

Source: Daily Intel | 29 Jan 2009 | 9:47 pm

Bruce Springsteen hopes to inspire in Super Bowl show

Rock legend Bruce Springsteen, seen here addressing the media in Tampa, will try to bring smiles and inspiration in dark economic times with Sunday's Super Bowl half-time show.
Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 29 Jan 2009 | 9:37 pm

Andrew Cuomo Could Literally Give a Hoot About Daily Intel

Cuomo and his gal pal Sandra Lee.

As you may know, Daily Intel has something of a little obsession with Andrew Cuomo's use of the word "literally." So when one of our party reporters ran into him at a party for his girlfriend's new magazine, Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade, at the Empire Hotel Rooftop, she literally walked right up to him and asked him about it. Sadly, unlike Anderson Cooper and Ruben Diaz Sr., it turns out Andrew Cuomo is not a secret DI reader. But happily, we learned that he has a sense of humor! Even in the face of an aggressive New York reporter:

New York: Some of our editors have a thing with the way you say "literally." What do you think "literally" means?
Cuomo: I literally have never read it.
New York: They were debating whether you used the word "literally" properly. You used it properly there.
Cuomo: I literally haven't seen what you're talking about.

Wow! Is it possible? We've developed a little soft spot for Andrew Cuomo! Figuratively.

Earlier: Is Andrew Cuomo One of Those People That Uses ‘Literally’ the Wrong Way?
Andrew Cuomo LITERALLY Cannot Believe That John Thain Is Thinking About a Bonus

Read more posts by Diana Scholl

Filed Under: andrew cuomo, literally, party lines, sandra lee

Source: Daily Intel | 29 Jan 2009 | 9:35 pm

TOP CHEF RECAP: You Can’t Have A Super Bowl Party Without Covering Crap In Oats

This is a recap of Top Chef Season 5, Episode 10 entitled "Oats Super Bowl Oats", originally airing January 28th 2009. If you haven't seen the episode, go ahead and read this crap anyway, Stefan didn't get eliminated. -- In the Quickfire Challenge, every contestant was required to prepare a dish incorporating Quaker Oats, which may or may not have caused me to unironically yell "YOU F***ING WHORES" at my television. Seriously -- it's one thing to use product integration in your program, but forcing every single contestant to use your stupid food in their stupid challenge? The American Idol judges keep clearly-labeled Coca-Cola glasses in front of them at all times, but at least they don't require contestants to gargle Coke while performing their solos. -- I kept expecting guest judge Scott Conant to say something like "I'm sorry, Fabio, I just thought there were too many oats on your eggplant, all you could taste was oats. [LOOKS OFF CAMERA, SEES PRODUCER'S FIERY GLARE] Aaaaannndd...that's...good, of course, is what I'm saying. Yummy, yummy oats. They're oatriffic!" -- Carla continued for the second straight week as Bravo's Company-Line-Tower with her exclamation "I eat oats like seven days I week so I was like [HORRIFYING HAPPY NOISE]!" I'm sure you do, Carla. Do you also bathe in Glad Bags? After the jump, the Super Bowl of anticlimactic Super Bowl-themed things! -- Jeff was the unfortunate loser this week, even though he's a better chef than Carla, Leah and Fabio, but he deserved to go home simply for the Judge's Table comment, "I did nineteen more things than my opponent," as though: 1) He knew exactly how many more actions he performed than the chef who beat him, 2) The goodness of food is directly reliant upon how many verbs the chef accomplishes, and 3) He was simply too damn good for the puny peasants on Top Chef to grasp his interdimensional brilliance. -- I'll gladly sacrifice Jeff's talent in order to keep The King of Zings around for at least one more week; Fabio was on fire yet again, including another mention of having to cook "monkey ass," which apparently is the only vaguely negative term he knows in English. I imagine him coming back from the Post Office saying "Dat line was-a like monkey ass, it never move!" -- Carla was truly, deeply disturbing in this episode. First when she exclaimed "I don't know the first thing about football" going into the challenge, as if that had anything to do with anything; they weren't, like, cooking the rules of football, or even football-tailgate cuisine, they were just cooking while close to NFL helmets. Second, I'm glad she's never going to win again, because her reaction to winning last night went beyond giddy excitement and well into "noises human bodies are not equipped to produce" territory. -- Gabe from Videogum made a .gif of the episode's craziest second -- a superquick zoom into ex-cheftestant Danny yelling "yaaaa!!!" from the crowd: Also, why is Danny, aka "NewYorkie NewYorkerson" wearing a 49ers jersey? BUSSSTED!!! He's never even been to Jersey. -- I think Toby Young has been reading our comments section, because he scaled it way back this week (and went back in time and re-recorded his parts from this week's episode). More likely, the Bravo editors quickly realized how awkward his forced movie references and topical Elvis jokes were and shrewdly trimmed his role in subsequent episodes. Next week he'll be on screen for a third of a second saying "I--" and that's it, then in the finale he'll be in the background of one shot about to give a thumbs up. -- That wasn't a Past-Seasons "All-Star Team," it was just a bunch of random past contestants. An All-Star Team would've included only finalists, not, like, Season 4 Nikki. It was more of a Past-Seasons "Random Census Poll." -- I thought Stefan represented the Dallas Cowboys perfectly: extremely talented on paper, completely choked when it came to gameday. POWER RANKINGS: 1) Stefan T-2) The Rest Is there really any point to ranking these dudes anymore? The show will either be Stefan winning and all of us saying "ok, figured," or Stefan somehow losing and all of us agreeing he got screwed, "Puerto Rican couple in Saturday Night Fever" style. As Toby Young might put it. Leave your episode thoughts, predictions, Carla insults, Jeff insults, Toby Young insults even though he spoke like eight words this episode, and anything positive (I guess?) in the comments, please!
Source: Best Week Ever | 29 Jan 2009 | 9:30 pm

Meet the New Guy: Lenz von Johnston

Prada exclusives go from new faces to top models in a heartbeat. That's what happened to Ali Stephens and Suvi Koponen, and now Munich native Lenz von Johnston joins their ranks. The 21-year-old was discovered two years ago by makeup artist Mo May while on a movie set. At her insistence he gave modeling a shot, and Cento Scouting snapped him up immediately. Just a year later, Miuccia put an exclusive on the pouty teen for her fall 2008 runway show. Then Calvin picked him up as their face for fall 2008. We even picked his V spread, shot by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggot, as one of the best editorials in November. But what we love most about this ice-hockey fan is his love for Klaus Kinski. Who could guess?

Model Profile: Lenz von Johnston

Brush up on your model I.Q. in our extensive Model Manual.

Read more posts by James Lim

Filed Under: ali stephens, calvin klein, lenz von johnston, model tracker, models, prada, suvi koponen

Source: The Cut | 29 Jan 2009 | 9:20 pm

Raekwon, With Ghostface, Proves He Was Really Only Built for Cuban Linx

Living larger than ever.

Yes, "Criminology 2" is a sequel to "Criminology," from Raekwon's classic 1995 debut Only Built 4 Cuban Linx..., and will appear on the long-awaited Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II. But is Rae doing it "‘09 style," as he claims? Well, the new track uses the same beat, same guest star (Ghostface Killah, naturally), and another sample from the same movie (Scarface, naturally). But, given the face-melting perfection of his debut — and the slipshod quality of much recent Wu Tang output — we believe the Chef is right to stick to the old recipes. So, please: Kick it old-school.

Download "Criminology 2": Prefix Mag

Read more posts by Ehren Gresehover

Filed Under: ghostface killah, music, raekwon, right-click

Source: Vulture | 29 Jan 2009 | 9:15 pm

IN OTTER NEWS: Cute Ovary-Splode Thursday Continues

Here's an Otter in a Mailbag: The above mail carrier saw the otter laying lifeless in some ice on the road. He stopped and popped this little otter -- NAMED ORLA -- into his mailbag... and fed her kitten milk... through the (choke) tube of a -- wheez -- ball-point pen. Annnnnnnd nope! Can't have kids anymore. Mmmmmmbye.
Source: Best Week Ever | 29 Jan 2009 | 9:00 pm

Introducing the Bernie Madoff Action Figure

Fun! Connecticut-based HeroBuilders has made Bernie Madoff action figures. Only their “limited edition” Madoff doll, which carries a fistful of $100 bills and has a luxury wristwatch painted with real 24-karat gold, has a decidedly Gilded Age price tag: $149. Move along, chaps. We can't afford "luxury" anymore. [Boston Herald via DealBreaker]

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: action figures, bernard madoff, bernie madoff, business, The Greatest Depression

Source: Daily Intel | 29 Jan 2009 | 9:00 pm

Someone Paid $2,025 for Shoes Sarah Palin Might Have Worn

A pair of Naughty Monkey shoes allegedly worn by Sarah Palin were auctioned off for $2,025 to an unknown bidder on eBay this week. The seller, who claims she's Sarah Palin's niece, will throw in autographed pictures of Palin wearing the shoes, plus a Sharpie that Palin used to sign stuff. Though the shoes usually only cost about $100, this pair is worth it because not only do they maybe come with Palin's skin cells, but she'll sign this special pair for the lucky bidder. No word on where that $2,025 is going, but it makes us wonder how much could be raised for charity by auctioning off that $180,000 wardrobe of hers that's sitting in trash bags. [KTUU via Heard on the Runway/WSJ]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: auctions, ebay, naughty monkey, never ending stories, sarah palin, shoes

Source: The Cut | 29 Jan 2009 | 8:40 pm

Third Eye Blind Renaissance Continues Along Unabated

Just when you think the world has once again turned its back on Stephen Jenkins, Third Eye Blind will unfailingly reenter the pop-culture universe. Case in point: In this viral video promo for He's Just Not That Into You, the Mac Guy, Eric from Entourage, and that psycho boyfriend from Wedding Crashers find themselves (intentionally) fulfilling the standard chick-flick cliché of "singing into random objects" ... to the dulcet tones of "Semi-Charmed Life"! [/Film]

Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: Bradley Cooper, Justin Long, Kevin Connolly, Semi-Charmed Life, Stephen Jenkins, Third Eye Blind

Source: Vulture | 29 Jan 2009 | 8:32 pm

Fox to develop third 'Narnia' film

Twentieth Century Fox is to co-produce a third film based on C.S Lewis's "Chronicles of Narnia" books, one month after Disney's withdrawal placed the franchise in doubt, reports said Thursday.
Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 29 Jan 2009 | 8:24 pm

Piven-less Plow Recoups

Despite outrageous claims earlier from Speed-the-Plow's backers that Jeremy Piven's mercury-poisoned departure (and subsequent replacement by William H. Macy and Norbert Leo Butz) would prevent the play from turning a profit, Playbill reports today that it's recouped its initial investment. We hope producers will do the right thing and donate all additional revenues to help cover Piven's medical bills, which are surely enormous. [Playbill]

Read more posts by Lane Brown

Filed Under: broadway, david mamet, jeremy piven, speed-the-plow, sushi

Source: Vulture | 29 Jan 2009 | 8:23 pm

Damages: Bite-size Guide to a Great Episode

Mr. Pibbs, Darrell Hammond, West Virginian characters edited out of Deliverance, Jungian dream theory, country-music seminars, corn-rowed prison assassins, and jittery Asian masseuses keep proceedings lively, even pleasantly wacky, this episode. And though the air reeks of burning animal corpses (thanks, toxic-water cover-up!), we also detect, to our delight, smoke coming out of Patty’s ears. In a night that (finally) establishes the pungent viscera in store and brilliantly turns audience incredulity on its head, there are numerous highlights.

A Bizarre Dream
It figures that creepy Daniel has a dream that will haunt ours: giggling, going all “out damn spot” on a soapy dish as his wife swings on a tire outside by the lake, entreating him to come play, as a hooded bogeyman (her murderer, we think) inches close. Cheesy, but we love Shakespearean overtones.

A Jerk’s Revelation
Without the involvement of complex financial instruments or bailouts, this season’s corporate controversy (a secretly malevolent chemical called Aracin) is rather quaint. But Kendrick, UNR’s corrupt CEO, is a lovable stand-in for Thain et al as he relays the history of golf on the greens: “Some hunchback prick with a stick hit a rock, and now it’s a $40 billion business!” Kendrick is played by John Doman — Rawls from The Wire. (Jerk.)

A Musical Metaphor
Tom, in a GPS-challenged car out in the sticks with Ellen, parses the difference between bluegrass and old-time country music: In old-time country, the background instruments accompany the melody; in bluegrass, each instrument has a turn playing the melody. Then, an analogy about Damages’s loudening symphony suggests itself: Who’s playing whom, and whose melody? (Patty played Danny; Danny played Patty; UNR played Danny.) But then we got confused about whether that was bluegrass or old-time country. Still, metaphor alert!

A Betrayal
Eager for closure with her son’s father, Daniel, and the megabillion-dollar UNR case to which he is attached, Patty had morphed, to our disappointment, into a bland mensch with a few bitchy, passive-aggressive tics. Thanks to the shockingly stupid junkie-ring-hocker seen at the scene of Christine’s murder, she helps Daniel get acquitted — only to be left out to dry. Daniel dumped a water sample procured by Ellen and Tom; in court, Daniel goes back on his word, denying any wrongdoing by UNR on the stand. He also colluded in his wife’s murder, after all. Daniel’s motivations for betraying Patty include unlimited wire transfers, and, perhaps, Patty’s reluctance to share their son with him years earlier. As for Christine’s murder, the man’s got rage issues, and a rather possessive view of fatherhood.

Well played, Daniel and UNR thugs, but beware: Nobody makes Patty a patsy and gets away with it.

A Happy Ending
SNL’s Darrell Hammond, as a pie-faced lackey-accomplice, nearly broke the mood entirely. In a splendid interlude with a superior in a massage parlor, gawking at the masseuse, asking his boss for some clarity: “I respond to instructions.”

Read more posts by Justin Ravitz

Filed Under: damages, darrell hammond, overnights

Source: Vulture | 29 Jan 2009 | 8:15 pm

'The Thing' brought back to life by Universal Studios

Universal studios is preparing a remake of 1951 "The Thing From Another World", the horror classic about scientists battling an alien creature at a remote Arctic base, reports said Thursday.
Source: RSS feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 29 Jan 2009 | 8:08 pm

The NY Post Puts Bernie Madoff Scandal In Terms We Can Finally Understand

Apparently, Bernie Madoff can't handle spending 24/7 in his $7 million apartment. And in true form, the NY Post cracks the pun bat and knock this headline out of the park. And to think, we would have gone with Maddyshack. Or, the much more obvious:
Source: Best Week Ever | 29 Jan 2009 | 8:07 pm

Angela Lindvall: Falling at the Pucci Show Was Horrible

Angela Lindvall.

Angela Lindvall plans to hit the Paris catwalks this season, but not New York's. “It’s more about the babies here, which is cool with me — I was a baby at one point," the 30-year old told us at Russell James’s book party last night. "I prefer to just go to Paris and do the Parisian scene — the godfathers of fashion." Lindvall also described a recent photo shoot where she was ordered to crawl around on the floor. “It was weird, all these people staring at me and I’m on the grass and they wanted me to crawl like an animal. I felt like I was being abused. I felt I was being demeaned.” But then her experience kicked in, and she suggested a new approach. “I gave them something much better, because it was a bad idea to begin with."

But that shoot wasn't as bad as when she fell on the runway for the first time last season — twice. "It was at the Pucci show, and I didn’t know that the top of my shoe had a really small platform, and I was strutting my stuff and then, pffft.” She was down. Lindvall was stunned, and at first decided not to do the show’s finale, but later she had second thoughts. “When you fall off a horse, you get back up. I went out for the finale — and fell again,” she said. “And I was bleeding on my knee; it was like one of those dreams where you show up to work naked. That’s what it felt like in real life; it was embarrassing.” How did the audience react? “I don’t know. I really don’t; I just wanted to get the hell out of there. It was horrible. But now I can say I fell.”

Get more horror stories from models like Brooklyn Decker and Noémie Lenoir by viewing our Party Lines slideshow.

Read more posts by Bennett Marcus

Filed Under: angela lindvall, models, new york fashion week, paris fashion week, party lines, spring 2009

Source: The Cut | 29 Jan 2009 | 8:05 pm

Move Over, Dramatic Chipmunk from The Shining! The Dramatic Smoking Donkey Is In Town.

There are some people in this world that are sexually aroused by animal mascots. Then there are other people, like myself, whose first instinct upon seeing such a flammable sweat-headed nightmare is to flip a pen-knife open and gut the living sh*t out of such a person. To each their own. This here video below might only be 18 seconds long... but it's 18 seconds long enough for me to shiv my computer monitor. And that's all we need to say about that. The good news is: Smoking kills! So that donkey head probably has about 20 to 30 years left on this Earth. I can live with that.
Source: Best Week Ever | 29 Jan 2009 | 7:36 pm

Jimmy Fallon Kicks Off His First Monologue With a Joke About Hillary Clinton’s Ankles

As any regular Vulture reader will attest, we've been keeping a close eye on the development of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon ever since he began posting nightly videos back in December. It's certainly been amusing to get an "inside" glimpse* at the show's ongoing development, even if we do often find ourselves wishing there was some increased transparency when it comes to behind-closed-doors discussions of things like the show's creative tone, the competitive landscape, and other minutiae that only people who really geek out on television would appreciate. That said, last night's episode provided viewers with an early look at the show's set while it's still under construction, along with Fallon's first (semi-) official monologue. While we're not sure we would've chosen a joke about Hillary Clinton's ankle size as a way to introduce audiences to Jimmy the Talk Show Host (versus Jimmy the Stand-up Comedian), we will award the show points for not kowtowing to political correctness.

*Insofar as something produced and distributed by NBC could be "inside," that is.

Under Construction [Late Night With Jimmy Fallon]

Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: Hilary Clinton, Jimmy Fallon, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Source: Vulture | 29 Jan 2009 | 7:30 pm

Gaultier Tackles 51-Year-Old Model Inès de la Fressange on His Runway

Jean Paul Gaultier sent a breathtaking couture collection down the runway in Paris this week, along with an equally breathtaking guest star. Inès de la Fressange, the 51-year-old mother of two and former model (the first to ever sign an exclusive haute-couture contract, in the eighties, with Chanel) took two turns down Gaultier's runway. The crowd applauded when she came out. Heard on the Runway reports:

Fashion models “are not just 14-year-olds,” Mr. Gaultier said later. “There are no [age] barriers to beauty.” The French designer explained that the curvy Ms. de la Fressange embodied the sexuality demanded [by] his raunchy Spanish themed show.

Preach that, JPG. But the story gets sweeter: Inès's 14-year-old daughter watched the show with her little sister and told reporters Mom was nervous. Inès confessed she was intimidated hanging out backstage with the young models, "surrounded by all those sexy little things.” And at the end of the show, Gaultier got so excited, as you can see above, that he chased Inès down and tackled her on the runway (in a playful way). We've said it once and we'll say it again: Who needs the Super Bowl when you have couture?

View a slideshow of Jean Paul Gaultier's spring 2009 couture collection.

Gaultier’s 51-Year-Old Runway Star: Inès de la Fressange [Heard on the Runway/WSJ]
TO THE NINES [WWD]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: best things ever, couture, ines de la fressange, jean paul gaultier, models, spring 2009

Source: The Cut | 29 Jan 2009 | 7:20 pm

Blurt Hopes to Capitalize on Success of Blart

Bucking the recent trend of magazines closing up shop, the music website Blurt is looking to expand from its online-only origins into a quarterly print publication. Tiny suggestion? Change the name to Blart and watch the money start rolling in! [Idolator]

Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: Blurt, Flooding The Zone, Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Source: Vulture | 29 Jan 2009 | 7:02 pm

Is This An Upcoming Sesame Street Episode Or A Dream I Had Last Week?

Sesame Street is planning an episode about military families coping with returning from war, which sounds pretty admirable, plus everything about this promo pic just screams "Military": Wait -- are John Mayer and Queen Latifah and Elmo together to talk about military families, or was this a dream I had a year ago that somehow spontaneously willed a photograph into existence? Probably both.
Source: Best Week Ever | 29 Jan 2009 | 7:00 pm

Unlike Jean-Claude Van Damme, William H. Macy Has Nothing to Hide

"You wear what's called a 'sock.' Just use your imagination." —William H. Macy on going full-frontal in The Deal [BlackBook]

''I've never been to Kidron. We're not picking on it." —Brannon Braga on picking a small Ohio city as the next target on 24 [Akron Beacon Journal]

"That blew my mind when I saw him doing that. I buy my butter in the local market, from the local farmers that come into town. I don't know what kind of fucking butter he's selling. I don't buy that shit." —Pete Shelley on Johnny Rotten shilling butter on TV [Pitchfork]

"It appealed to the 16-year-old in me, and it also appealed to the father in me." —Liam Neeson on Taken [LAT]

"I didn't know it was a real thing. And then we got on it. And truthfully, like the only time I've ever even seen one is either in a James Bond film or Spider-Man, where naturally a terrorist shoots out the wire and everybody goes plummeting to earth. I didn't realize there was a commuter use for that technology that didn't involve rescue squads." —Ira Glass on the Roosevelt Island Tram [A.V. Club]

"When I started auditioning for Beaches, I knew it was a Bette Midler film, and my parents had always said I looked like Bette Midler, so it seemed like it would be a good match." —Mayim Bialik on parental encouragement [A.V. Club]

"He intends on exploring his musical interests despite speculative, negative or positive reactions." —Joaquin Phoenix representative Susan Patricola claims that there is no way to stop his burgeoning rap career [MTV]

Read more posts by Stan Park

Filed Under: 24, Ira Glass, Joaquin Phoenix, Liam Neeson, Mayim Bialik, Pete Shelley, Quote Machine, TV, William H. Macy

Source: Vulture | 29 Jan 2009 | 7:00 pm

Henry Holland Overshares About Agyness Deyn

Henry Holland: "I'm not stupid. I know that Agyness being a muse and friend has helped get my brand out there because she garners so much attention, but it's not a contrived fashion friendship. We'll get ready together in our apartment and she'll be on the toilet while I'm in the shower. We've been friends since we were 13. We're from the same village. Where I live now is a flat we own together — we moved in together when I was 19 and then she moved to New York about three years later." [Guardian UK]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: agyness deyn, henry holland, quotables

Source: The Cut | 29 Jan 2009 | 6:35 pm

RAPPER Joaquin Phoenix: Real or Hoax?

Some wonder whether the former actor's new career is really a stunt.
Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 6:25 pm

Jessica Simpson faces cheat claims

Jessica Simpson's boyfriend has been accused of cheating on her.

American football player Tony Romo reportedly visited Hollywood hotspot My House on January 16 - hours after the 28-year-old singer has flown out of Los Angeles - and then invited a group of people back to the home he shares with Jessica.

With the party in full swing, it is alleged Tony - who has been dating Jessica since November 2007 - disappeared upstairs with a stunning brunette for the rest of the evening.

A source told America's Star magazine: "Everyone was talking about it downstairs. The girls were saying it was so wrong and shady of Tony to cheat on Jessica - especially in her place! I just can't believe he would hook up with another woman at his own girlfriend's house."

Neither Jessica or Tony have commented on the claims.

Jessica has recently been the subject of scathing comments about her seemingly fuller figure, prompting her sister Ashlee to leap to her defence.

Ashlee wrote on her blog: "I am completely disgusted. Since when did a woman's weight become newsworthy? How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticise a size two figure?

"I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure."

Source
Source: Lepaparazzi - Celebrity News and Gossip Blog | 29 Jan 2009 | 6:22 pm

Patrick Swayze ends his treatment

Cancer-stricken star Patrick Swayze has given up medical treatment.

The 56-year-old 'Dirty Dancing' actor - who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last year - reportedly abandoned chemotherapy and other treatment when doctors told him there was nothing they could do to stop the spread of his disease.

A family friend told the National Enquirer magazine: "There's nothing more doctors can do for him. We are down to the wire and the goal now is to keep Patrick comfortable.

"His condition is inoperable and they have stopped the chemo. He's still losing weight and he's very weak. He's taking morphine. That and the cigarettes seem to keep him functioning through the pain."

The actor, who recently said he was determined to fight his illness, was admitted to hospital with pneumonia earlier this month. He was released on January 16, but friends say the chest infection left the star weakened.

In a recent interview, Patrick spoke about his prognosis and his hopes for the future.
He said: "I'd say five years is wishful thinking. Two years seems likely if you're going to believe the statistics.

"There's more I want to do. Lots more. I want to last until they find a cure."

Source
Source: Lepaparazzi - Celebrity News and Gossip Blog | 29 Jan 2009 | 6:21 pm

Joaquin Phoenix's entertaining breakdown

Joaquin Phoenix is "pretending" to have a nervous breakdown.

The star - who is filming a documentary about his transition from acting to hip-hop music - is apparently faking his recent public outbursts for the film, directed by 'Gone Baby Gone' actor Casey Affleck.

A source told Entertainment Weekly magazine: "He said, 'It's a put-on. I'm going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it.'

"It's an art project for him. He's going full out. He probably has told his reps that he's quit acting. Joaquin is very smart.

"This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control."

The stunt is said to be a satire on stars who take themselves too seriously.

Joaquin's recent performance at LAVO nightclub in Las Vegas reportedly saw him "storm out" after losing his cool with a film crew.

A source said: "He was waiting for Casey and when the film crew arrived late, Joaquin flipped out. Phoenix yelled at the crew, 'Thanks for being late and f***ing everything up.' He then threw a CD on the floor and stormed out."He came back five minutes later and did the sound check. Nobody can tell if he is for real or if this is all a big joke."The star has also leapt on stage during a Jamie Foxx concert and started grinding up against him before stealing a woman's hair clip and wearing it.

Source
Source: Lepaparazzi - Celebrity News and Gossip Blog | 29 Jan 2009 | 6:19 pm

Kelly Rowland's Knowles split

Kelly Rowland has parted ways with her manager, Beyonce Knowles' father.

The former Destiny's Child singer and Mathew Knowles - who has managed Kelly since she was in the successful girl group and also looks after his daughters Beyonce and Solange - agreed to separate earlier this week, with both parties insisting the split is "amicable".

Kelly's statement said: "Mathew Knowles has been a positive influence in my career. I have had great success under his guidance - both as a member of Destiny's Child and with my solo projects. Although we have decided to part ways professionally, the Knowles family and the entire Music World Entertainment team will always be my family."

Mathew said in a statement: "After a very positive meeting between Kelly Rowland and myself, we have amicably agreed to end our professional relationship.

"As an artist Kelly has incredible talent and I only wish her the best. We will always be family first and foremost and as a dad I can only have love for Kelly."

Mathew hinted at a Destiny's Child reunion, adding: "My company, Music World, will continue to manage Destiny's Child as a group."

It has been reported Kelly - who was seen meeting with the Spice Girl's former manager Simon Fuller late last year - decided to call time on their professional relationship following a huge argument with the 58-year-old manager.

It has also been claimed Kelly was becoming increasingly frustrated at her stalling career as Beyonce's solo work has soared.A source explained: "We were told Kelly was really upset that she's not better represented in the United States. She's a big hit in Europe, but not in America."Kelly's last album 'Ms. Kelly' - which was released in the US in 2007 after having been pushed back several times to make way for Beyonce's LP 'B'Day' - reached only number six in the US Billboard 200 charts, while 'B'Day' went straight to number one.

Source
Source: Lepaparazzi - Celebrity News and Gossip Blog | 29 Jan 2009 | 6:16 pm

LVMH Is Financing Gareth Pugh

Gareth Pugh, fall 2009.

It was anyone's guess as to what Delphine Arnault, LVMH head Bernard Arnault's daughter, was doing at Gareth Pugh's men's show in Paris on Sunday night. Now, Bernard himself has confirmed that LVMH is financing Pugh's shows. "He's an interesting designer, and it's good to support him," he said. "But LVMH does that with many talented people, even musicians." The rumors about Pugh being eyed to take over design at Dior Homme haven't quieted. After his men's collection, heralded by critics as a technical masterpiece, we can't wait to see what he's got in store for the ladies at Paris Fashion Week in just a few weeks. With LVMH's money, it should be off the chain(mail). Will Beyoncé put a ring on it? Stay tuned.

In Support Of Pugh [British Vogue]

Read more posts by Amy Odell

Filed Under: bernard arnault, gareth pugh, lvmh, mantasies

Source: The Cut | 29 Jan 2009 | 6:15 pm

Scarlett Johansson crazy for love

Scarlett Johansson is "in love with love".

The 'He's Just Not That Into You' star, who married her boyfriend Ryan Reynolds in a secret ceremony in September, is still crazy for Ryan but isn't sure if the romance will fade in time.

When asked about the impact marriage has on relationships, Scarlett replied: "I have no perspective on that - you should ask me in 25 years.

"I am really in love with love. I'm a lover not a fighter. I'm a real lover."

The 24-year-old actress also revealed she regularly encourages her friends to end their relationships when they turn to her for advice.

She added to Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "My friends and I talk about relationships and I probably over-analyse everything. But I usually come back to the same thing, 'If this person is making you crazy or doubt yourself, then get rid of him.'

"I always sort of come back to that. Whether or not my girlfriends stay with the guy at the time, they usually end up parting ways in the end.

"It sounds like I'm breaking people up all over the place, doesn't it?"

Source
Source: Lepaparazzi - Celebrity News and Gossip Blog | 29 Jan 2009 | 6:14 pm

Fug Girls: Seven Ways to Revive Ugly Betty

It's no secret that we're frustrated with Ugly Betty's rapid decline, but ABC's new plan to yank the fashion-industry parody — in order to launch a new sitcom, thus probably shoving Betty off the grid until June — feels premature and rash, like dumping your girlfriend just because she keeps leaving her cell in the car. Sure, the show is coming off an episode so bad that it caused the Television Without Pity recapper, who is well seasoned in enduring crappy TV, to throw up his hands and forsake cash rather than watch it ever again. But we don’t think ABC should quit so readily: We used to love spunky Betty and her namesake dramedy, and frankly, we'd prefer that ABC help resuscitate the old girl, instead of putting her to sleep. It can't be that hard — we have ideas already:

Stop making Betty's family so douchey. At some point, Ugly Betty morphed from a sassy, snarky soap-with-a-heart into a soppy morality play about the dangers of allowing a paying job to keep you from playing nursemaid. We blame the increasing insufferability of Clan Suarez: People enjoy watching an unlikely heroine make her way in the big city, but nobody wants to see said heroine's whiny family guilt-trip her about fleeing the coop — to the point where she agrees that wanting a job AND her own life is a terrible character flaw and moves back home. There’s a reason Sex and the City didn’t have any scenes where Carrie's mother yelled at her because her column deadline prevented her from attending a family Tupperware party.

Bring back the soapy tone. What happened to Mr. Suarez's beloved telenovelas? In addition to providing a clever reminder that Betty is based on a telenovela itself, they encouraged a campier framework, and subtly prompted the audience not to take this whole world quite so seriously. We understand criticism that the show is occasionally too over-the-top (though for us, that is impossible), but if we were really that interested in watching a heartfelt exploration of assistants mixing up outgoing mail, we'd go hang out at CAA’s offices for an hour. Plus, we want to know what happened to the maid who faked a pregnancy with a soccer ball.

Make more out of Mode. A fashion-mag office should be replete with saucy and complex potential story lines, but lately most of the Mode shenanigans exist merely as lazy comic relief to offset tedious "Hugging and Learning" segments, or as fuel for Betty’s bogus life lessons in "How Working Will Ruin Your Family." Moreover, there are way too many people shoehorned into the cast with either nothing to do, or nothing to offer. The new CFO's primary character trait is that Daniel wants his ex, and Wilhelmina wants him. Wake us up when he decides to poison one of them by redoing the walls in lead paint.

Finish stronger. When you manage to turn a bitter, glamorous transsexual character like Alexis into a melancholy dullard, you have gone awry. And hasn’t Christina been gestating Wilhelmina’s child with dead Mr. Meade for nearly a year? Ashley Jensen may leave the show, so presumably her character will pop it out eventually, but the story line has dragged on so long we're starting to wonder if she'll give birth to a toddler. If you want to compete with the hotness of Bones' David Boreanaz, you need better endings to promising plot twists.

Commit to Betty's look. She's supposed to be a fish out of water. Hiring Pat Field to make her clash fashionably in $600 coats does not count.

Commit to Betty. After almost three years of babysitting Daniel, the decision to enroll Betty in an editor-training program is a good start at giving her some drive. Girlfriend needs more visible talent and a real shot at participating at Mode, or else we'll all quit because we can't believe she hasn't.

Hire Heather Locklear. Hey, it worked for Melrose Place.

Read more posts by The Fug Girls

Filed Under: ABC, America Ferrera, Fug Girls, New York Fugging City, Television, Ugly Betty

Source: The Cut | 29 Jan 2009 | 5:40 pm

WATCH: Actor Gets a 'Kick' Out of the 'Paps'

Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 5:26 pm

Jean-Paul Gaultier: Calligraphy Cool (Fashion Wire Daily)

Fashion Wire Daily - The world's best catwalk mover - Ines de la Fressange - made a mini comeback Wednesday evening, staring in the spring 2009 haute couture collection of Jean-Paul Gaultier.

Source: Yahoo! News: Fashion News | 29 Jan 2009 | 5:09 pm

'The View's' Elisabeth Hasselbeck Pregnant With Third Child

Hasselbeck announced Thursday on the ABC daytime chat show that she's pregnant with her third child, due in August.

Source: FOXNews.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 5:03 pm

Essence Festival Adds Maxwell, Al Green, Ne-Yo

Maxwell, Anita Baker, Al Green, John Legend, Robin Thicke, Salt-N-Pepa, Ne-Yo and En Vogue will join previously announced headliner Beyonce at the 15th annual Essence Music Festival. The event will be held July 3-5 at the New Orleans Superdome.

Source: Billboard.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 5:01 pm

Kelly Clarkson Breaks Record For Hot 100 Jump

Kelly Clarkson makes history on this week's Billboard Hot 100 with the largest leap to No. 1 in the chart's 50-year history. Her new single, "My Life Would Suck Without You," rockets 97-1 after selling 280,000 digital downloads in its first week of availability.

Source: Billboard.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 5:00 pm

Music maverick John Martyn dies

British singer-songwriter John Martyn has died in hospital in Ireland at the age of 60.

Source: CNN.com - Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:57 pm

WB, Joel Silver shaping He-Man film

Front Page: John Stevenson to direct live action 'Masters' -- Warner Bros. and producer Joel Silver have set "Kung Fu Panda" co-director John Stevenson to make his live-action directing debut on "Masters of the Universe," a reimagining of the signature Mattel toy line.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:54 pm

Sly Stallone Buys Restaurant to Keep Wife From Cooking

Stallone joined Danny DeVito and Charlie Sheen to promote his new Hollywood eatery Buca di Beppo

Source: FOXNews.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:44 pm

Claude Kelly Hits Big With Clarkson, Spears

Last summer, singer/songwriter Claude Kelly told Billboard he hoped to work with Kelly Clarkson in the future. Six months later, not only has he co-written the pop singer's latest single, "My Life Would Suck Without You," but he's sharing in its record-breaking success.

Source: Billboard.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:44 pm

U.K. Singer/Songwriter John Martyn Dies

U.K. folk and blues songwriter John Martyn has died at the age of 60, according to a statement on his official Web site. The cause of death has not yet been confirmed.

Source: Billboard.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:36 pm

Britain's Royal Family Rolls With the Times

A look at the royal family in the 21st century.
Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:25 pm

Christina Norman to head OWN

Front Page: Former MTV exec named CEO of network -- The Oprah Winfrey Network's long search for a CEO has culminated in the hiring of longtime MTV exec Christina Norman.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:21 pm

'Idol' dominates Wednesday ratings

Front Page: Fox reality show nabs 26.9 million viewers -- "American Idol" thoroughly trounced the competition at 8 o'clock to propel Fox to a dominant win in Wednesday night's TV race. The network's 18-49 demos were higher than NBC, CBS and ABC's combined.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:16 pm

Making Neil Diamond uncomfortable

The day CNN interviewed Neil Diamond, he was sitting in a little room to the side of a studio, and a makeup artist was smacking him in the face with a powder puff. He looked like he wanted to flee. But the legendary musician offered a thoughtful and revealing chat.

Source: CNN.com - Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:07 pm

Gallery: Stars glitter at Sundance

Source: CNN.com - Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 4:03 pm

U2, Kid Rock, Plant/Krauss Added To Grammys

U2, Kid Rock, Rihanna and Robert Plant and Alison Krauss have joined the performance lineup for the 51st Grammy Awards, to be held Feb. 8 at Los Angeles' Staples Center and broadcast live on CBS.

Source: Billboard.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 3:42 pm

Disney-ABC TV to cut 400 jobs

Front Page: Layoffs will reach across the board -- The latest round of showbiz layoffs hit Disney-ABC Television Group on Thursday, as the division announced it would shed about 400 jobs.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 29 Jan 2009 | 3:39 pm

No WWE Rumble for Rourke

Mickey Rourke's appearance on Wrestlemania 25 was a total knock out before it even began. At the SAG Awards on Sunday, the Academy Award nominee for his role as Randy "The...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 29 Jan 2009 | 3:36 pm

The Ultimate Potential Breakup Song

For every breakup, there's a song that goes with it.
Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 3:03 pm

Harry Potter and the Seriously Injured Stuntman

A terrifying moment on the Harry Potter soundstages Wednesday, as Daniel Radcliffe's stuntman was hospitalized with serious back injuries following an onset mishap. Because the...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 29 Jan 2009 | 3:01 pm

Narnia Gets New Life at Fox

The Fox hath saved the Lion. Weeks after Disney decided not to bankroll another sequel in The Chronicles of Narnia series due to spiraling costs, 20th Century Fox has swooped in and...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 29 Jan 2009 | 2:58 pm

FOX411: Lennon's Sons to Perform Together

Julian Lennon and Sean Lennon, the sons of John Lennon, are finally going to perform together in public.

Source: FOXNews.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 2:41 pm

Rise 'n' Shine: There He Is! Mr. America, Joaquin Phoenix

•  The winner of the facial hair portion of the Miss America pageant is…Miss Kentucky, Joaquin Phoenix! •  Whoa! What did Hilary Duff ever do to Faye Dunaway?...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 29 Jan 2009 | 2:25 pm

Madonna Resuming Sticky & Sweet Tour This Summer

Madonna will crank up her Sticky & Sweet tour again this summer with about 25 more shows in the U.K. and Europe, which will add to the total of what's already the top-grossing tour ever by a female or solo artist.

Source: Billboard.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 2:00 pm

Ex-Senator Granted Bail in Travolta Case

Former Bahamas senator accused of conspiring to extort $25 Mil from Travolta.
Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 1:49 pm

Tough Guy No More: Mickey Rourke Backs Off Planned WWE Fight

A spokeswoman for actor Mickey Rourke says he won't be taking his role as a professional wrestler into a real-life ring after all

Source: FOXNews.com | 29 Jan 2009 | 1:06 pm

Zellweger, Connick's friendship

The romantic comedy "New In Town" puts co-stars Renee Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr. at odds through most of the film. But behind the camera, the story was completely different, the pair told CNN.

Source: CNN.com - Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 1:02 pm

Sony net profit falls 95% in Q3

Front Page: Strong yen drags down earnings -- Sony's net profit dropped 95% in the third quarter due to a strengthening yen, the gloomy economy and stiffer price competition from electronics rivals.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 29 Jan 2009 | 12:59 pm

PHOTOS: Hollywood's Best Friends

Cox, Aniston share over ten years of friendship -- on and off the screen.
Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 12:41 pm

PHOTOS: The Growing 'Brangelina' Brood

Jolie-Pitt clan debuts their family of six in Japan.
Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 29 Jan 2009 | 12:37 pm

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