Madoff Investor Walter Noel, Bouncing Back (In Style)? [Guest of a Guest]
Madoff Who? [DealBreaker]

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: bernie madoff, walter noel, White Men With Money

Source: Daily Intel | 19 Dec 2008 | 9:10 pm

Brody Jenner: The Other White Oprah

Did you know that we've survived nearly two years since Dina Lohan first proclaimed herself to be "The White Oprah"? I'm pretty reluctant to even mention her out of fear that she'll rear her head and make us all Live Lohan again, but I have no choice: another white person has likened his white-assed self to Oprah. Brody Jenner, The Hills alum and star of the upcoming show Bromance, is following in her vomit-filled footsteps:

"I did this whole sit-down with these guys, which we called Broprah...I was sitting around and would say, 'OK, now tell me about...' and then all of a sudden it got to be like, 'Whoa!' We're uncovering some deep stuff. These big, grown guys are sitting around crying over being friends with a dude."

WHOA. Bros have feelings too, and they're deep, just like Oprah. Honestly I'm starting to think Brody is more like Oprah than we all realize. I hear in his upcoming Favorite Things special he'll be giving away some BALLER free sh*t like Broflex home gyms, artwork by Vincent van Bro, vacations to Broklahoma, and like, a bunch of energy drinks and Busted Tees and really big flip flops.
Source: Best Week Ever | 19 Dec 2008 | 9:01 pm

Prince Plays Guitar Hero on New Tracks

Lately, Prince has kept busy covering rock songs by the Foo Fighters, Radiohead, and Gnarls Barkley in his still phenomenal live shows (then yanking them off YouTube), but apparently he's also been hard at work on a new record. Judging from the four new tracks played for Steve Jones's radio show yesterday, we suspect all those rock covers have had an effect, as three of the tracks — "Wall of Berlin," "Colonized Mind," and a cover of Tommy James's "Crimson & Clover" — are heavy on the guitar. This is actually a little disappointing: He sounds a lot more like Joe Satriani than Dave Grohl — a bit too slick and self-indulgent. Fortunately, the fourth track, "4ever," and a fifth track leaked to the Internet today, "(There Will Never Be) Another Like Me," sound more like the funky, freaky Prince we've seen on the last three of his comeback records.

Read more posts by Ehren Gresehover

Filed Under: music, prince, right-click

Source: Vulture | 19 Dec 2008 | 9:00 pm

Roberta Myers Does Not Always Shower Alone

Name : Robbie Myers
Age : 49
Neighborhood : Upper Upper West Side
Occupation : Editor-in-chief, Elle

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Truman Capote.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
Le Bernardin, still.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Put out fires. But I get to talk to smart, creative people all day, so it's worth it.

Would you still live here on a $35,000 salary?
Yes. And I have! Interview paid me $18,000 a year.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
Speed-the-Plow. Before Jeremy's mercury problem.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
Yes. Particularly women. If they have a kid with them, I give it to the kid. And then tell them to ask their mom to take them home.

What's your drink?
Vodka cranberry.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
Is cereal a meal?

What's your favorite medication?
Kissing.

What's hanging above your sofa?
A painting by Claire Hooton. Dark, moving.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
$300.

When's bedtime?
1 a.m.

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
Old.

What do you think of Donald Trump?
We'll miss him when he's gone.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
The short summer; the long winter.

Who is your mortal enemy?
Time, eventually.

When's the last time you drove a car?
Last week.

How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
It's bad for all of us.

Times, Post, or Daily News?
Yes … and the Observer, HuffPo, Slate, Perez, nymag.com, portfolio.com ...

Where do you go to be alone?
The shower, and sometimes not even there.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
Desire.

Read more posts by Vanita Salisbury

Filed Under: 21 questions, roberta myers

Source: Daily Intel | 19 Dec 2008 | 8:45 pm

Madoff’s Fashion Victims Revealed

The whole Bernard Madoff fraud scandal finally hit the fashion world, as some of his victims were revealed to be executives and former editors. Madoff, who was arrested last week on a securities charge, defrauded Adrienne and Luigi Vittadini; Nine West founder Jerome Fisher; Kay Windsor founder Carl Shapiro; Lee Mellis, former chief financial officer of Puritan Fashion Corp.; and Alexandra Penney, former editor-in-chief of Self, according to WWD.

Penney reportedly lost her entire life savings to Madoff, which reminds us all that the victims weren't all corporations and the shockingly rich. “There are people who are worse off than I am, but it’s the shock and trauma [of losing] every cent I’ve ever earned with my own brains,” Penney told WWD. "I never inherited a dollar or took a cent of alimony. It’s all gone, and I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Madoff is currently under house arrest where he's awaiting trial. And as he stole much-needed funding from charities, we think we'll start calling him the Grinch from now on. Seems only fitting, no?

Madoff Scandal Hits Fashion Industry [WWD]

Read more posts by Amina Akhtar

Filed Under: Bernard Madoff, Crimes of Fashion

Source: The Cut | 19 Dec 2008 | 8:45 pm

Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise, seen here on December 18, 2008, will share the screen with South African actress Charlize Theron for an American remake of 2005 French thriller "Antony Zimmer," Hollywood media reported Friday...
Source: Infocious RSS raw feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 19 Dec 2008 | 8:39 pm

Blagojevich: ‘Not Guilty,’ Not Going Anywhere

Rod Blagojevich took to the podium today to address the ongoing controversy over allegations that he tried to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat. The hair was in full effect, as was the tough-talking Illinois-politician bravado.

"I'm here to tell you right off the bat that I am not guilty of any criminal wrongdoing, that I intend to stay on the job, and I will fight this thing every step of the way. I will fight I will fight I will fight until I take my last breath. I have done nothing wrong. And I'm not going to quit a job the people hired me to do."

He went on to quote the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling. "I have on my side the most powerful ally there is, and it's the truth," Blago said. "And besides, I have the personal knowledge that I have not done anything wrong." He asked the people of Illinois to "please reserve judgment" and afford him "the same rights that you and your children have, the presumption of innocence." He took no questions, did not indicate how he planned to work with a rebelling Illinois legislature, and stormed off stage immediately after speaking.

Earlier: Our complete Blagojevich coverage

Read more posts by Chris Rovzar

Filed Under: early and often, people who quote poems too much, politics, rod blagojevich

Source: Daily Intel | 19 Dec 2008 | 8:20 pm

Photographer Susan Mikula Shifts Focus

Susan Mikula's sic transit 05 (2008).

With her Polaroid camera, Susan Mikula creates abstract visions of empty spaces that inspire memories we never knew we had. Actually, this is sort of what our hallway looked like when we were coming home from that holiday party last weekend. Mikula is on view at CHC Gallery, tonight through January 24.

Read more posts by Emma Pearse

Filed Under: art candy, susan mikula

Source: Vulture | 19 Dec 2008 | 8:15 pm

Diddy Explains CSI Guest Appearance With Mind-Imploding Diddy Analogy

Diddy plays a lawyer on next week's episode of CSI: Miami, and in an interview about the appearance, he offered up this astounding, vintage Diddy analogy:

“The CSI: Miami team is like the Yankees. Me coming on the set, I’m like a Little League player with the Yankees. [David Caruso], he’s like Obi-Wan Kenobi or something! He taught me so much and let me ask questions and protected me. He’s like the coach of the team.”

Alright, let's break this down piece-by-piece: 1) The CSI: Miami team is like the New York Yankees, the iconic, century-old baseball franchise. 2) Diddy is like a Little League player -- a small child aged 5-14 playing organized baseball -- who is now on the New York Yankees. 3) David Caruso is Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi Master. 4) Obi-Wan Kenobi is the coach of the Yankees. Ummmm... I guess I'll be DVRing this?
Source: Best Week Ever | 19 Dec 2008 | 8:15 pm

Prada’s New Spring Women’s Campaign Debuts

Prada spring/summer 2009.

Just after Prada released Hedi Slimane's photographs for the menswear campaign yesterday, the women's line was quick to follow suit, with the campaign leaking today. Shot by Steven Meisel, the ad features models Nimue Smit, Giedre Dukauskaite, Sigrid Agren, Toni Garrn, Katrin Thormann, Viktoriya Sasonkina, and Ymre Stiekema all styled in natural makeup and French twists. Though the runway collection we saw in Milan featured a series of metallic looks with gorgeous golds and coppers, this photo opts instead for the color of the season — beige — as well as white and cream. And sure, the colors don't jump off the page, but the clothes are beautiful nonetheless. And the light box under the girls' feet gives us a closer look at the rickety footwear that tripped up so many models on the catwalk. With noticeable ankle straps to secure stumbling feet, they look surprisingly wearable.

Prada S/S 09 [Fashion Spot via Fashion Times]

Read more posts by Sharon Clott

Filed Under: campaign trail, miuccia prada, prada

Source: The Cut | 19 Dec 2008 | 8:03 pm

Broadway midseason analysis

Front Page: Highs and lows more extreme than usual -- Midway through the 2008-09 Broadway season, only two new productions have recouped: revivals of "The Seagull" and "All My Sons." If that suggests a hospitable climate for quality nonmusical theater, then it's good news for the slew of star-driven plays preparing to berth on Broadway in the spring. But it's too early to draw any such conclusions from a season in which the highs and lows likely will be more extreme than usual.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 19 Dec 2008 | 8:00 pm

Real? Or Photoshop? 'Airbrushing' Run Amok

Critics: Airbrushing of celeb images has gone too far, Kate Winslet fights back.
Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:59 pm

R.I.P.: Six Feet Deeper

It was nice briefly knowing you, man nicknamed after BJ porn. And what a looker! Rest up there in heaven. Nixon source 'Deep throat' dies aged 95
Source: Best Week Ever | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:45 pm

The Potential Madoff Dystopia

In the beginning, the Madoff investors were bound together by their tragedy. They comforted one another. Empathized. But as the details emerged of who lost what and who actually gained money, things started to change. “This is so big, and there are so many people situated differently,” a lawyer said to the Times one day. "Everybody is potentially averse to everybody else." Soon after, the fighting started. Dick Leventhal, 82, of Palm Beach, cast the first stone when he saw Marvin Zuckerman, 84, entering The Palm Beach Steakhouse on Bradley Place. "Having a nice dinner with my money, aren't you, Marvin?" he sneered. "This is my money!" Marvin snapped. "I didn't know the guy was a crook!" Dick jumped across the table and tore Marvin's arm right out of its socket. Blood spurted and a mob descended on it, hunger in their eyes. After that, the violence escalated. Factions were formed. There were nightly attacks. The government was powerless to stop it: "Everybody should be put on equal footing," they brayed, but who was going to listen to them? Those senior citizens who were fortunate enough to have pulled their money out of Madoff's clutches before he was arrested armed themselves with firearms and canned peaches and barricaded themselves behind pastel walls while angry mobs howled outside. Wars broke out. Pestilence. Then the troops came from Asia and gave everyone factory jobs and that was that.

Even Winners May Lose With Madoff [NYT]

Read more posts by Jessica Pressler

Filed Under: bernard madoff, business, finance, palm beach, Science Fiction

Source: Daily Intel | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:40 pm

Gallery: 'Bedtime' co-star looks gorgeous

Source: CNN.com - Entertainment | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:38 pm

Rock of Ages to Move to Broadway, Ply Audiences With Booze and Constantine Maroulis

We meant to tell you about this earlier, but we got a little distracted by the snow. (So pretty!) Anyway, some actual good theater news — by good, we mean not pertaining to a closing — from Variety: "Rock of Ages, the Off Broadway tuner that draws its score from a variety of 1980s rock hits, will jump to Broadway in the spring with a reduced pricing plan and in-seat cocktail." Woo! In-seat cocktails! The show — which features music from Whitesnake, Bon Jovi, Pat Benatar, Journey, and other such bands — is scheduled to open April 7 at the Brooks Atkinson Theater, and producers expect the cast, including Idol alum Constantine Maroulis, to stay pretty much intact. (Woo! In-seat cocktails!) The production is moving into the soon-to-be-former home of Grease, and we have our fingers crossed that this rock musical can save New York theater from the Broadwaypocalypse. Don't stop believing!

'Rock of Ages' locks Broadway run [Variety]
Rock of Ages to Arrive at Broadway's Brooks Atkinson Theatre in March [Playbill]

Read more posts by Lori Fradkin

Filed Under: rock of ages, theater, yay?

Source: Vulture | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:30 pm

6 Reasons The Dubai Film Festival Is Better Than The Oscars

1. More Pyrotechnics
2. More Danny Glover In Arab Formalwear "I'm gettin' too old for this shiekh!"
3. Better Hair, Tattoos
4. More Neon Horse Mosaics
5. More Scary Bird People
6. Wait, Go Back One Second... What The Hell?
Source: Best Week Ever | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:22 pm

Smackdown! Jim Carrey vs. Will Smith

The question is a toughie: Would audiences rather see Jim Carrey and his slightly-less-rubbery face resurrect the same comic schtick for Warners' "Yes Man" that made him a star, or watch Will Smith save souls while running through the rain in Sony's spiritual tearjerker "Seven Pounds"?
Source: CNN.com - Entertainment | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:21 pm

From That View, the Store Looks Open

Just a note to Elisabeth Hasselbeck: It's great that you're doing outfits under $100 on The View. But Té Casan closed. So next time, pick a place that viewers can actually shop at. Someone's stylist is in trouble.

Read more posts by Amina Akhtar

Filed Under: Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Te casan, The View, TV Carnage

Source: The Cut | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:20 pm

Piven's Doc: Stop Him From Eating Fish

Jeremy Piven's doctor details actor's debilitating "mercury toxicity."
Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:17 pm

Ed Werder’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

What a week it’s been for ESPN’s Ed Werder. When he reported last week that there was tension between Tony Romo, Terrell Owens, and Jason Witten, he probably couldn't have imagined the level of backlash that would follow. After all, it wasn't all that long ago that the Cowboys were Vegas favorites to win the Super Bowl, so coming off a particularly bad loss to Pittsburgh, hearing about their unhappy locker room shouldn't have really surprised anyone. Assuming it was, you know, true, his report wasn’t really all that incendiary.

Sure, Werder might have expected to catch the eye of hard-core sports-media watchers, thanks to his use of anonymous sources, which ESPN frowned on not all that long ago. But instead, the real backlash came from the Cowboys themselves — not to mention their fans.

After Sunday’s win against the Giants, the three players appeared together for a post-game chat on NBC, with Owens using the platform to call out Werder. (He also called him a liar during his post-game press conference.) And this was after Werder had been heckled in a made-for-YouTube clip by a fan, "Cowboy Chris," who insisted that Werder “be a man” and reveal his sources. (We didn’t know that compromising journalistic integrity was part of being a man, but we do now. Thanks, random Cowboys fan!)

But the best take on the Werder situation came from SI.com’s Arash Markazi, who highlighted another slap in the face, this time by Werder’s own network. Let’s just say it’s unlikely Werder and Stephen A. Smith are going to be sipping milkshakes from the same straw in the ESPN cafeteria:

There's no way Werder can properly defend himself against Owen's allegations, and for ESPN to continue to put him in that position is unfair. Werder simply reported a story that he heard from "multiple team sources." What is he supposed to do? Name his sources? When Werder asked Owens if he would comment on what he heard and answer just a couple of questions last week, Owens said, "Nope." So if he turned down an opportunity to defend himself to the reporter actually covering the story, why should he be able to do so with someone he and his agent may be more comfortable with?

Meanwhile, Ed Werder sits alone in a room, flicking the light on … and off … and on … and off.

But not every sports journalist is having as crappy a holiday season as Werder. Take, for instance, the NHL media, who are invited to lace up their own skates and take the ice at Wrigley Field two days prior to the league’s January 1 Winter Classic. Honestly, this is just flat-out cool; we don’t even have a joke here. Except to say this: You know how, during the 1998 Mark McGwire home-run chase, they used to show batting practice on local television, even though it technically wasn't actual athletic competition? We hope this gets televised, too. It’ll be sports media meets the Ice Capades, and it better be on YouTube no more than an hour afterwards.

Read more posts by Will Leitch and Joe DeLessio

Filed Under: ed werder, espn, football, hockey, media, press-box confidential, sports, terrell owens, winter classic

Source: Daily Intel | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:15 pm

Summer Heights High: Where’ve You Bloody Been?

A couple of months ago, it was our duty to inform you about our new obsession: The Australian import, HBO's Summer Heights High. Now, with only two episodes left, we make our final plea. For many of you, this weekend will be spent cozied up indoors, wearing a cashmere onesie and using your dog as a foot warmer while mother nature takes its toll. So why not take 3 hours out of your miserable(?) life and watch the 6 episodes already available through HBO On Demand? Frankly, we're a little disappointed this show hasn't caught on in the culty way that Flight of the Conchords has. But it's not too late! (And before you say anything, we are not getting paid by HBO in anything other than hearty laughs.) Here are two of our favorite deleted scene clips from easily the best character on SHH, Mr. G. It's a slow news day, so we know you have the time for these:
Source: Best Week Ever | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:13 pm

Bristol Palin’s Baby, Out Tomorrow!

Sherry Johnston

Sadly, the baby boy, who is due tomorrow, will probably meet his grandma (no, not that one) in lockup — Sherry, mother of Levi "Sex on Skates," was just arrested last night for six felony drug counts. The type of drugs hasn't been released, but it probably wouldn't be a stretch to imagine they rhyme with Bristol Beth. [Politico]

Read more posts by Chris Rovzar

Filed Under: babies, bristol palin, drugs, drugs that are probably crystal meth but could just be weed, early and often, levi johnston, politics, sarah palin, sex on skates

Source: Daily Intel | 19 Dec 2008 | 7:10 pm

Adam Sandler's New Family-Friendly Persona: At the "Bedtime Stories" Premiere (Fashion Wire Daily)

Fashion Wire Daily - "I wanted to make sure that I did one movie in my career that mothers hugged me for. This could be it."

Source: Yahoo! News: Fashion News | 19 Dec 2008 | 6:44 pm

American Apparel Lays Off Hundreds

Finally, some good news today! If by good news, you mean watching Dov Charney's company suffer. American Apparel has announced it's cutting hundreds of jobs, despite posting the strongest sales in retail versus its competitors. The company is reducing its expansion plans, hence the layoffs. This, just after its latest store opened right by our dear ol' offices.

All the cuts come on the heels of many, many, lawsuits against Charney for subjecting employees to sexual harassment but also some rather odd ones involving scam e-mails, potential blackmail (against Charney), and general sketchiness. It's amazing that the economy is what's causing the company to cut back and not Charney's penchant for winding up in court. To the hundreds of unemployed hot gals, we say best of luck.

American Apparel lays off hundreds of workers [LAT]

Related: Lawsuits: Dov Charney's Legal Woes Get Weirder [Racked]
His Way Meets a Highway Called Court [NYT]

Read more posts by Amina Akhtar

Filed Under: 'Tis the Season to be Broke, American Apparel, Dov Charney

Source: The Cut | 19 Dec 2008 | 6:40 pm

Twilight Fans Debate Werewolf Casting on Facebook

While there is still no definitive word as to whether "baby-faced" Taylor Lautner (pictured, left) is going to reprise his role as Jacob in the Twilight sequel, Twilighters are taking to Facebook in an attempt to save his job. Fearing that the 26-year-old Michael Copon (pictured, right) will be taking the 16-year-old Lautner's job, MTV News' Women of the Year started the group "I REJECT Michael Copon as Jacob Black: SAVE TAYLOR NOW!" No matter the outcome, Nicole Kidman's just glad that the heat of the Facebook Nation is off her. [TMZ]

Read more posts by Mark Graham

Filed Under: Decisions, Jacob Lautner, Michael Copon, New Moon, Twilight

Source: Vulture | 19 Dec 2008 | 6:37 pm

God to Blame for Diddy’s CSI: Miami Cameo

"I guess God just wanted to prepare me for this role." —Diddy on how his past legal problems helped with his role on CSI: Miami [E!]

"The wealth side of it hasn't hit me yet because I have no need for money in my life. My life will not be motivated by money. I will never do a film because they're going to pay me a certain amount of money." —Emma Watson [WENN via Starpulse]

"Don't worry, there's no big bedroom scene. We didn't have enough money for the special effects to make me look great naked." —Dustin Hoffman on Last Chance Harvey [Parade]

"The buses are so comfortable — much better than when I was on the road with 'N Sync." —Lance Bass on the best part of the Dancing With the Stars tour [People]

"Ask me the last person I made love to. The last person I made love to was myself this morning — it was awesome. I know exactly what I like." —Gym Class Heroes' Travis McCoy [PopEater]

"Will Eisner was my mentor, and The Spirit was so awesome a property that I at first thought I was not worthy to do it. And then I couldn't think of anybody else who was, so I decided that I was the right man for the job." —Frank Miller [SciFi Wire]

Read more posts by Tammy Oler

Filed Under: diddy, dustin hoffman, emma watson, frank miller, lance bass, quote machine, travis mccoy

Source: Vulture | 19 Dec 2008 | 6:30 pm

James Earl Jones Reading The Bible Is Awesome, But…

'Tis almost Christmas, so I thought I'd let you all know that this exists: Says the publisher's review on Amazon.com:

"The star of GREAT WHITE HOPE, STAR WARS, and THE LION KING reads the complete King James Version of the New Testament in a steady, powerful style that only someone with Jones's vocal talents can muster...This is a far cry from Jones's Darth Vader. A truly inspiring production."

I'm sorry, is this elitist fun-hating review trying to say that Star Wars isn't an inspiring production? Because there are about 850,000 Ron Paul voters in sweat-stained wolf t-shirts with YouTube accounts who would beg to differ. What if we want to hear the entire New Testament read in Darth Vader voice? What if we want to hear his heavy breath between every word of the Second Epistle of the Corinthians? I speak on behalf of the Internet when I say we most certainly do, so you, reviewer, can shut your pandering, party-fouling mouth. May Verizon Wireless drop all your calls.
Source: Best Week Ever | 19 Dec 2008 | 6:27 pm

Foreign fare evolving with audiences

Front Page: Hollywood takes note of 'Mamma' success -- With an expected haul of $16 billion this year, foreign box office is crucial to Hollywood — but the studios are noticing the makeup of those audiences is evolving.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 19 Dec 2008 | 6:24 pm

WATCH: Review: '7 Pounds' Too Heavy

Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 19 Dec 2008 | 6:21 pm

MTV plans 16 new reality shows

Front Page: As ratings drop, network overhauls lineup -- MTV's recent ratings declines include a 23% fourth-quarter drop in its core demo of 12- to 34-year-olds. So the channel is embarking on a major programming overhaul, with 16 new unscripted series over the next 4½ months.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 19 Dec 2008 | 6:07 pm

Fug Girls: Ten Things We Learned From Celeb Fashion in 2008

Blake Lively, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Marion Cotillard: Two wrongs and a right.

Each December, we curl up with a pile of carbohydrates, some gin, and a red-velvet cake to reflect on the lessons of the last 365 days — not from our own lives, but from the pages of Us. After all, what is Hollywood if not a stellar life coach? Without famous people, we wouldn't know how easy it is to starve yourself thin about an hour after giving birth; how best to fake-marry a slimy douche bag, distressing your mother; how not to handle nasty public breakups; and, of course, how not to dress. Indeed, here are ten vital things we learned from celebrities and their fashion choices in 2008.

It Takes a Rare Man to Pull Off a Mustache. And if that man isn't George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Jude Law, or Robert Downey Jr. — all of whom have taken, and failed, Lip Lawns 101 — then odds are it also will not be you. Because unless you are The Young and the Restless' Victor Newman, whose mouth topiary nicely underlines his attempts to destroy/disinherit/wish death upon people in that dramatic German accent, you will probably end up looking like a cheesy porn star or a low-budget pimp.

Leave the Jumpsuits to Professions That Demand Them. We don't care how many designers sent them down the runway, nor how many stars — ahem, Blake Lively, Gwyneth Paltrow, Maggie Gyllenhaal — paste smiles on their faces and pretend they love them. We're not buying it. Jumpsuits are bad, mmmkay? They're either tight and junk-chafing, which helps only the makers of Monistat, or baggy and shapeless — which is great if you are, say, an astronaut or a mechanic, but can be detrimental when it leaves us wondering what ate your waist.

But Fish Scales Can Be a Good Thing. Generally, a girl doesn’t want to look like the proverbial cold fish. But the white Jean Paul Gaultier stunner Marion Cotillard wore to the Oscars in February reminded us that there are exceptions to any rule, and that — we can't believe we're saying this — apparently, seafood can be sexy. Warning: Attempt only under professional supervision.

Whatever Solange Wears, Do the Opposite. When your sister has invented a split personality just so she can wear a metallic robot hand, and you still look more cracked out than she does, something is terribly wrong. Solange Knowles spent 2008 promoting her album in an eye-searing collage of feathers, giant beads, ruffles, and hot-pink leggings with elephants on them — all of which felt like sad attempts to wrest public attention from her older sibling. Couldn’t she just take a cue from Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and steal Beyoncé’s thunder by marrying a rocker and naming her kid Hakuna Matata or something? At least babies are cute.

Don’t Fug Up Your Youth. It makes us feel way elderly to say this, but nothing riles us quite like seeing a pretty young thing actively trying to look old. Evan Rachel Wood attends every event wearing more makeup than Liza Minnelli, despite having her whole life to hide behind ten pounds of slap. And Gossip Girl’s Taylor Momsen looks like a strung-out aging rocker with her bad bleached mullet and smudged eyeliner. Wash your faces! Also, stand up straight. Lousy kids.

Being on a Reality Show Doesn’t Make You a Fashion Designer. Take note, Lauren Conrad, Aubrey O’Day, Heidi Montag, Paris Hilton, Mel B, Nicole Richie, Whitney Port, and assorted Kardashians.

Shopping a Lot Doesn't Make You a Designer, Either. Take note, every other celebrity in Hollywood. Especially Katie Holmes, whose two cheap-looking creations — done in collaboration with her stylist — look like they'd fail a QVC quality-control test. Stick to buying somebody else's expensively unflattering jeans, kid.

Looking Good Is Still the Best Revenge. It worked for Anne Hathaway, who rocked the press tour for Get Smart while her ex-boyfriend was weeping about how prison isn't as cushy as his penthouse. And it REALLY worked for Shania Twain, who divorced her allegedly cheating hubby and then whipped out some intense cleavage at the CMAs. Now that Amy Winehouse is supposedly single, we hope it's her turn. She could start slow with basic nutrients and go from there.

We Are So Over Sex and the City. The movie did well this summer, so we may be alone here. But between the world treating the four stars like the second coming of the Beatles and the movie itself being a glorified clothing montage peppered with character assassinations, we are still — seven months hence — sick of it all. We couldn't even get excited when Sarah Jessica Parker showed up to the premiere with a potted plant on her head. Here's hoping the rumored sequel languishes in Kim Cattrall's agent's in-box for a while.

The Perfect Sparkly Minidress Can Make People Forget That Time You Shaved Your Head. For the longest time, the name "Britney" conjured up tragic images of torn tights, dilated pupils, boobs oozing from see-through tops, and bad wigs. Then this year's VMAs happened, and improbably, now when we think of Britney, we picture her in that killer silver number and suspect that she might just make it after all. Such is the power of a hot dress. And a shower. Something for us all to bear in mind as we head into 2009.

Related: Blake Lively Wears Tragic Jumpsuit to Miss Sixty
Anne Hathaway Gets Her Chic Revenge
For more of the Fug Girls, check out their complete archive.

Read more posts by The Fug Girls

Filed Under: actresses, anne hathaway, blake lively, britney spears, celebrities, jumpsuits, lauren conrad, marion cotillard, mustaches, new york fugging city, sarah jessica parker, sex and the city, solange knowles, the fug girls

Source: The Cut | 19 Dec 2008 | 6:01 pm

Dating Advice Duel: Tila Tequila and Nine-Year-Old Boy Squar

Which new advice author knows more about the opposite sex?
Source: FOXNews.com | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:49 pm

Recording Industry to Quit Suing Downloaders, the Dead

After five hilarious madcap years of suing college kids, small children, people without computers, and even the deceased, all while the public at large happily continued to enjoy downloading free music from the Internet, the music business announced today that its anti-piracy strategy will no longer include mass lawsuits. Instead, the RIAA plans to seek deals with Internet service providers to send warnings to those illicitly sharing copyrighted MP3s with others (after a few, ISPs will either slow a user's connection speed or cut off their service altogether). It's not yet clear what prompted the shift (it probably wasn't kindness), or even if ISPs will cooperate. Even so, this sounds like a much fairer system and a long-overdue step in the right direction for the record labels. One less thing for dead people to worry about!

Music Industry to Abandon Mass Suits [WSJ]

Read more posts by Lane Brown

Filed Under: litigation, music, riaa

Source: Vulture | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:45 pm

The Great Rock & Roll Gift Guide

From box sets to lunchbox amps; this year's must-haves for music fans G1 T-Mobile, $179 with contract A full keyboard makes messaging on the Google phone a breeze. Photo: Michael Pirrocco

Source: Rolling Stone: Features | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:37 pm

In Which Our Designer Crushes on Rodarte Get Renewed

We have had slight designer crushes on the Rodarte geniuses ever since their knitted tights went down the runways. But after reading Style File's Q&A, we realized, we'd totally have hung out with them in college.

I read somewhere that you funded your first collection by selling Kate’s vinyl collection to Amoeba Records. Are there any records you regret giving up?
KM: Oh, man. I can’t even talk about this.
LM: I had to sell the records. Boxes and boxes, I made so many trips out of that Amoeba basement in Hollywood. And the guy there seriously could not believe that the collection belonged to a girl.
KM: Which is really infuriating.
LM: Like in college, the way guys would be weirded out if you had a lot of different kinds of books, as though having varied taste is a gender-specific thing.
KM: I’m getting mad about this all over again.

Oh, haven't we all been there? Sing it, ladies.

Kate And Laura Mulleavy Miss Their Record Collection [Style File]

Read more posts by Amina Akhtar

Filed Under: Girl Crushes, rodarte

Source: The Cut | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:23 pm

Barenaked Ladies Assembling Boxed Set

After a tumultuous year, particularly for its two lead singers, Barenaked Ladies are looking ahead to a 2009 in which the Canadian quintet will celebrate its 20th anniversary with a boxed set and, hopefully, some new music.

Source: Billboard.com | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:12 pm

Eric Stone who played Chicken Egg in the French movie "Johnny Mad Dog" poses in a room at the Johnny Mad Dog Foundation

Eric Stone who played Chicken Egg in the French movie "Johnny Mad Dog" poses in a room at the Johnny Mad Dog Foundation in Monrovia in November 2008. The young actors who were once child soldiers in Liberia...
Source: Infocious RSS raw feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:08 pm

Bob, a friend of the actors in the French movie "Johnny Mad Dog" peers through a window at the Johnny Mad Dog Foundation

Bob, a friend of the actors in the French movie "Johnny Mad Dog" peers through a window at the Johnny Mad Dog Foundation in Monrovia in November 2008. The young actors who were once child soldiers in Liberia...
Source: Infocious RSS raw feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:08 pm

Prince Kortie, who played War Bus in the French film "Johnny Mad Dog", does a handstand

Prince Kortie, who played War Bus in the French film "Johnny Mad Dog", does a handstand as Eric Stone who played Chicken Egg (R) watches him at the Johnny Mad Dog Foundation in Monrovia in November 2008...
Source: Infocious RSS raw feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:08 pm

Prince Doblah (R) and Leo Kortie, actors in the French movie "Johnny Mad Dog"

Prince Doblah, who played Durst to Durst (R) and Leo Kortie who played Pussy Cat in the French movie "Johnny Mad Dog" pose in a room at the Johnny Mad Dog Foundation in Monrovia in November 2008. The young...
Source: Infocious RSS raw feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:08 pm

Digital music sales hit 1 billion mark

Front Page: Nielsen reports 28% spike in purchases -- The 1 billion sold mark has been crossed in the digital music arena.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:05 pm

Tommy Tallarico (L) and Jack Wall

A travelling show featuring a symphony orchestra playing videogame theme music gave fans in France a first taste of what the organisers describe as "a new art form." Its US creators, Tommy Tallarico (L)...
Source: Infocious RSS raw feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:02 pm

French author Francois Ceresa poses at his office in Paris with his book "Cosette ou le Temps des illusions"

French author Francois Ceresa poses at his office in Paris with his book "Cosette ou le Temps des illusions" ("Cosette and the time of Illusions") in 2001. A Paris appeal court spared two sequels to Victor...
Source: Infocious RSS raw feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 19 Dec 2008 | 5:02 pm

Joel, John Tour Tickets Selling Briskly

In a positive sign for the 2009 touring season, sales for the upcoming Billy Joel/Elton John co-headlining tour are "through the roof," according to Wilson Howard, president, Live Nation Music Southeast, who calls the tour "a smash."

Source: Billboard.com | 19 Dec 2008 | 4:44 pm

David Copperfield's Assistant Severely Injured on Stage by G

Audience member says "blood was everyhwere" as the Las Vegas show was stopped
Source: FOXNews.com | 19 Dec 2008 | 4:38 pm

PHOTOS: Celebrities Who've Been Stalked

Lohan stalker screams "I love her!" outside Arizona nightclub.
Source: ABC News: Entertainment | 19 Dec 2008 | 3:51 pm

Barack Obama mulling FCC post

Front Page: Julius Genachowski rumored to be favorite -- Rumors are heating up in D.C. that President-elect Obama will name Julius Genachowski to head the Federal Communications Commission.

Source: Variety.com - Front Page | 19 Dec 2008 | 3:11 pm

Report: Oprah Looking For Her Own House Near White House

Barack Obama may be getting a new neighbor - Oprah Winfrey. And her house could be nicer than his!
Source: FOXNews.com | 19 Dec 2008 | 2:47 pm