Ricky Berens, Ryan Lochte, and Michael Phelps … Anyone have laundry that needs washing?Photo: Getty Images

We'd take Nastia Liukin's legs and abs.Photo: Getty Images

On the left are USA beach volleyballers Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh. If they didn't wear those bikinis, would the sport be popular enough to fill all those prime-time slots? And on the right is cutie Alexander Artemev with a toe point fierce enough to blind somebody.Photo: Getty Images

On the left is Spanish tennis player Rafael Nadal. We never noticed he had guns like that before. On the right we have Nicholas Robinson-Baker and Benjamin Swain from the U.K. reminding us it's a good thing the little Speedo isn't dead yet.Photo: Getty Images

On the left is American cyclist Levi Leipheimer. We love how the slight shininess of his navy sleeves make his triceps look like they could carve ice sculptures. And on the right is 41-year-old swimmer Dara Torres. When we are her age, we want to be able to kick Madonna's ass, too.Photo: Getty Images

At first we just found this beached-whale pose endlessly amusing. Then we realized it offers a superb view of Phelps's posterior. So N.B.Photo: Getty Images

Carolina Aubele has a modest proposal for American shoppers: Reconsider the poncho. "You have to understand, in Argentina, the poncho is a basic," says the Buenos Aires-based designer. "It's like a cardigan or a blazer, only more functional. You can dress a good poncho up or down, you can wrap it like a scarf, you can even use a poncho as a blanket." Aubele is used to having her style advice taken seriously—back home, she doubles as a fashion columnist for daily "La Nacion," and triples as the founder of one of South America's preeminent design schools. And for Fall, she's designed a very good starter poncho, indeed. Knit from dense, cushiony wool, with an ombré dye job and fringed ends, the Aubele version speaks to the season's boho and Western themes, without hitting either one too hard.

Tranny Models Who Made History

From left, André J., Amanda Lepore, and RuPaul.Photo: Getty Images

In the seventies Teri Toye was one of the first transsexuals to get real modeling work, appearing in Interview editorials wearing masculine Jean Paul Gaultier pantsuits. She even walked the Chanel show in Paris. Clearly, she was ahead of her time, paving the way for many other bright, fabulous stars such as the one and only Ms. RuPaul (did "Supermodel (You Better Work)" just pop into your head, too?). RuPaul then signed on as the face of M.A.C, making her the first transsexual with a lucrative cosmetics contract. With her face plastered in all the glossies, she was propelled to the mainstream, marking the first time in history a tranny reached such status.

In the early part of this decade, RuPaul's star faded, but Heatherette muse Amanda Lepore's shone bright. Heatherette designers Traver Rains and Richie Rich put Lepore in ad campaigns and runway shows. Photographer David LaChapelle also featured Lepore in his infamous "Artists and Prostitutes" exhibit, in which he basically put Lepore in a room for people to gawk at.

And then there's André J., the most recent gender-bending star. He was featured as one of our favorite Look Bookers, and Bruce Weber also shot him with Estée Lauder model Carolyn Murphy for the cover of French Vogue last November. We were a bit taken aback when André's legs looked better than Murphy's, but the cover was an amazing coup.

So what have these ladies taught us? Becoming a mainstream tranny model is more unlikely than becoming any old supermodel (which is hard enough), but it's not impossible. So Isis could have a chance at stardom that lasts longer than the duration of the next season of ANTM. And we all know when you've got Tyra in your court, anything's possible! —James Lim

Related: Video: Transgender ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Contestant Speaks, Works It
The Look Book: André J., Muse

In Which We Appreciate Michael Phelps’s Chest

We'd pledge allegiance to this flag.Photo: Getty Images

CHRISTAL: So last night my straight brother humored me by watching men's synchronized diving with me.
CHRISTAL: (The gays love diving because someone once told us that all divers were gay, and we chose to believe them despite all evidence to the contrary.)
JPRESS: More than Greco-Roman wrestling?
CHRISTAL: NO.
CHRISTAL: We love Greco-Roman wrestling above all else. Have you seen the "start" position?
CHRISTAL: Anyway, I observed that the divers have much better defined abs than the swimmers do, as though the aesthetics of their bodies is more important. Maybe it is?
JPRESS: It may be because they have to wear bathing suits the size of Livestrong bands.

Photo: Getty Images

CHRISTAL: But Michael Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day, largely pizza and pasta, and unless he's flexing you can't always see the definition of his six-pack.
CHRISTAL: But the divers looked like they were on the cover of Men's Health.
CHRISTAL: I said to my brother, "Wow, look at their abs. They're even better than Michael Phelps's."
JPRESS: No!
CHRISTAL: And he turned to me and said, "Dude. Michael Phelps has the body of a god. Period."
JPRESS: Amen.
CHRISTAL: This is a man who has to ASK me if men are cute. Like, "Jared Leto. He's, like, a cute guy, right? Like, dudes like him?"

CHRISTAL: So I did some photo research.
CHRISTAL: As I was, um, going to sleep.
CHRISTAL: And it turns out, he DOES have the body of a god.
CHRISTAL: It's not as cut, maybe, but it's spectacular. According to the Daily News, he has size 14 feet and a longer torso than most humans, resulting in an arm span (six foot seven) that is longer than his height (six foot four). It's like Zeus had sex with a dolphin, who gave birth to Michael Phelps.
JPRESS: If he hugged you, it would be like being hugged by a bag of rocks, like the smooth, soft, hot kind you find on the beach.

Photo: Getty Images

CHRISTAL: From far away, it's like his body is one of those long balloons you make animals out of, except for someone filled it with water and gerbils.
CHRISTAL: Who are constantly squirming around, trying to get out.

Photo: Getty Images

JPRESS: Here is the one thing, though: As one of our commenters pointed out, he is kind of a butterface. (A buthisface? Do we say that? We should.)
CHRISTAL: He's a total butterface.
CHRISTAL: He looks (and talks) like he has a mouth full of Big League Chew.
JPRESS: But he emphasizes his best assets by wearing his swim trunks extremely low and waxing — or perhaps lasering? — his body hair. I'd still do him.
CHRISTAL: I mean, duh. He's an American hero.

Mike Myers enlists in 'Bastards'

Eat Slugs, Warner Bros.: ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’ Moved to July 2009

"But July's so far away, Hermione."Courtesy of Warner Bros.

Galloping gargoyles! Warner Bros. — apparently worried that a lack of 2009 tent poles might lead to a dreaded 20th Century Fox–style summer collapse — has moved Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince back from this Thanksgiving to next July. But is that the real reason — or have the ticket sales for the long-awaited Broadway debut of Harry Potter's wang, so much lower than those of Billy Elliot, scared Warners away from a fall release date? (Probably not.) We're totally disappointed — that trailer was pretty fantastic. Must we really wait until July to meet Hero Fiennes-Tiffin?

BREAKING: 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' Moved to Next July! [Cinematical]

Bale Won't Be Charged for Alleged Assault

Afternoon Fix: For Your Consideration: David Silver as the Riddler

Top Makeup Felonies: Overbronzing, Overplucking, and More!

Bijules nail rings.Photo: Courtesy of Bijules

• Benefit's coming out with a plum version of their famous Bad Gal mascara in October. [We Love Beauty]

NAILS
• Jules Kim's jewelry line, Bijules, features a serpent-inspired nail ring. We've seen Santogold rock something like this before. And we suppose it's good for covering up chipped nails, if you're into this kind of thing. [Style.com]

PLASTIC SURGERY
• Doctors are saying that patients better stop smoking before they get a face-lift, threatening that they won't perform procedures to smokers. Yeah, not really news. [NYT]

SKIN
• One woman racked up a $1,000 bill at Fresh stocking up on their Black Tea Age-Delay Cream and Black Tea Instant Perfecting Mask. How much eye cream does one need? [Daily Beauty Reporter/Allure]

• We're not really into smelling like food, but this marshmallow-scented body butter has hints of vanilla bean and rose petals, which makes it sound potentially usable. [SugarShock Beauty]

Getting Naked With Mary-Louise Parker

Margaret Cho Wants to Get in Bed With Lesbohan

"So then Lindsay would put her foot here…"Photo: Getty Images

Copies of 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' at a bookstore

Harry Potter and the Unexpected Summer Premiere

Tom Cruise remains on top at UA

Latest Guns N’ Roses Leak Confirms Possible Existence of ‘Chinese Democracy,’ Maybe

New Guns n’ Roses Leak: “Shackler’s Revenge” [Rolling Stone]

The Rock and Roll Hall of Famer has refused to take it easy, suing GOP presidential candidate John McCain and the Republican National...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 14 Aug 2008 | 9:45 pm

The Olympics: Does Johan Santana Not Love His Country?

Photo: Getty Images

In Beijing right now, thousands of the greatest athletes on the planet are proudly representing their counties, hoping that four years’ worth of training will culminate with a position on top of the medal stand, watching their flag raised as the national anthem plays — a moment they’ve dreamed of since childhood and surely wouldn’t trade for anything. But not all of the world’s top athletes share this deep sense of nationalism. Take, for instance, Johan Santana. In 2006, the then-Twins ace participated in the inaugural World Baseball Classic, pitching for his home country of Venezuela. But when the tournament returns next spring, he tells the Post, don’t necessarily expect to see him on the mound in red, white, and yellow. It’s not out of fear of injury, though, or a sense of commitment to his employer, the Mets. No, if he decides not to represent his country, it’ll be because he didn’t really like some of the off-the-field aspects of the 2006 tournament: a lack of hotel rooms, no tickets to games (which surely means no free tickets to games, for family and such), and our favorite, suffering a postgame meal of Burger King.

Now we’re not sure exactly what he means by “no hotel rooms” — that’s the Post’s phrasing, not a direct quote — but we suspect Santana wasn’t living out of his car for two weeks. And while the image of a clubhouse spread of Whoppers is pretty funny (perhaps because we also envision Santana wearing one of those cardboard Burger King crowns), couldn’t he just, you know, buy his own food this time around? Hell, he’ll make $20 million in 2009; he could feed the whole damn team if he wanted. We’re just glad major leaguers aren’t allowed to play in the Olympics. We’d hate for Santana to find out what they’re feeding the athletes over there. —Joe DeLessio

SANTANA IS FED UP WITH WBC [NYP]

Related: Coen Why the Olympics Are Real Sports, But Better
Leitch: Why the Olympics Are the Reality TV of Sports

Source: Daily Intelligencer - New York Magazine | 14 Aug 2008 | 9:30 pm

Obama’s People Misspell Anna Wintour’s Name in a Bad, Bad Way

Think she'll just brush it off?Photo: WireImage

So the Barack Obama camp is holding a fashion-themed fund-raiser on September 9. Delightful idea, no? After all, the last fashion fund-raiser sponsored by Vogue and starring Michelle Obama sure was a smash. So it's no surprise that Vogue is in on this one, too. However, we're guessing the invitation was better the last time around. And by "better," we mean "spell-checked." Jossip reports:

New Yorkers with $10k to blow for VIP tickets (or $250 cheap seats for lowly wage slaves) are invited to a Sept. 9 Barack Obama event. It is the launch party at Charles Nolan studio for something called "Runway to Change with Special Guests Sarah Jessica Parker & Ann Wintour." Yes, Ann Wintour — that's how it went out to campaign supporters.

We understand how grave an error this is. But it doesn't sound like Obama's people do. A spokeswoman told Jossip, "It was either a typo or the extra syllable would have thrown off the haiku we were going for." Hardy har har! Even if they know nothing at all about fashion or magazines, you'd think they'd try to remember Wintour raised $100K to $200K for Obama. Details are such a bitch.

Obama Campaign's Spelling Error Means Michelle Will Never Get on 'Vogue' [Jossip]
Related: Anna Wintour and André Leon Talley Bundle Cash for Obama

Source: The Cut - New York Magazine's Fashion Blog | 14 Aug 2008 | 9:20 pm

Miley's an Easy Rider

With all the scandalicious Miley Cyrus headlines lately—the Internet pics that just won't stop, the alleged feud with Selena Gomez—we sometimes forget she's just a young teen...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 14 Aug 2008 | 9:17 pm

Ascetic Recluse Anthony Lane Had No Idea Tom Cruise Is in ‘Tropic Thunder’

Photo-illustration: Paramount/Getty Images

"Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few weeks," writes Salon's Stephanie Zacharek, "you probably know by now that Tom Cruise shows up in Tropic Thunder." Indeed, few critics have worried at all about spoiling Cruise's secret-but-not-secret-at-all cameo as studio head Les Grossman, precisely because anyone who reads anything about Hollywood and the movies had already heard, considered, formed an opinion on, and dismissed the news weeks ago. Gentlemanly Roger Ebert, though, does not divulge Cruise's name. And The New Yorker's Anthony Lane keeps Cruise's identity a secret — and, weirdly, admits that he has been living under a rock:

It took me half the running time to realize who was playing [Grossman], and it was only his voice that triggered the recognition; I suspect that there will be gasps during the end credits, as people see his name and find themselves rethinking the whole movie.

Really, Anthony Lane? You're a film critic, yet you had no idea that Tom Cruise filmed this much-hyped cameo, the role that everyone has been saying for months will provoke wild hilarity and save his career? It's not as though the news has been restrained to online hacks like us. The Times did a whole article about this role … in April!

We're not saying that critics need a constantly updating RSS feed of movie blogs — it's admirable when a critic can view a movie independent of gossip and studio hype and just deliver his own honest opinion. But Lane's innocence on this issue is a little bit bizarre and makes the critic seem … well, out of touch. What does he do when he's not watching movies — does he just read Wodehouse all day long? Is he not at all interested in the economic and cultural forces that make movies what they are? Lane apparently lives in London and visits New York infrequently; should a film critic for such an important magazine be a little more in touch with the culture he's reviewing for?

Lane's reluctance about spoilers, by the way, does not extend so far that he won't spoil the exact circumstances of the death of a major character in the movie, though, so heads up!

Vanity Cases [NYer]

Earlier: (Some of) The Critics Love Tom Cruise in ‘Tropic Thunder’
Tom Cruise’s ‘Tropic Thunder’ Cameo Is Not Actually All That Funny

Source: Vulture -- Entertainment, Music, Culture, Theater, Movies, Art -- New York Magazine Blog | 14 Aug 2008 | 9:15 pm

The Search for Sarah Jessica Parker Is Over

Yes, we admit it. Ever since Katie Holmes hit the Big Apple to prepare for her debut on the Great White Way, we've become somewhat obsessed with the Broadway-bound actress—from her...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 14 Aug 2008 | 9:13 pm

Star Trek Scoop: A Romulan Speaks!

Learning to speak a foreign language for a movie is one thing, but how about perfecting a made-up language from outer space? Clifton Collins Jr. said that's exactly what he and Eric...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 14 Aug 2008 | 9:05 pm

You May Now Comment on J.Love's Body

Late last year, the Internet started calling Jennifer Love Hewitt fat, and she got mad. So mad she blogged an empowering cry to women everywhere with "butts, boobs, hips and a waist" to...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 14 Aug 2008 | 9:03 pm

PLAYBILL.COM'S BRIEF ENCOUNTER With Bailey Hanks (Playbill)

Playbill - It's a good bet that Bailey Hanks knows where the character she plays, Elle Woods, is coming from.
Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment News | 14 Aug 2008 | 8:59 pm

Quiet Debut for Tropic Thunder

This was supposed to be the weekend The Dark Knight loosened its bat grip on the box office. But the movie math was being rethought after Tropic Thunder, the presumptive and...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 14 Aug 2008 | 8:56 pm

Tatiana Boncompagni Hoover’s Tips for Socialites

It's not that we're quibbling with the tips Tatiana Boncompagni gives for being a successful socialite in the above promotional video for her chick-lit novel Gilding Lily; after all, she knows from whence she speaks. As HarperCollins Website duly informs us, "Yes, she knows Tinsley Moritmer [sic] and Fabiola Beracasa," and that she "truly is descended from an Italian Princess." But she is kind of leaving out the most important rule of all? As Tatiana might put it, "The best way to ensure you will never have to clean your own house is to marry the heir to a vacuum-cleaner fortune."

What "It" Takes [You Tube via Park Avenue Peerage]
Tatiana Boncompagni's Bio [HarperCollins]

Source: Daily Intelligencer - New York Magazine | 14 Aug 2008 | 8:45 pm

New DVD releases: `Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus' (AP)

AP - Selected home-video releases:
Source: Yahoo! News: Entertainment Reviews | 14 Aug 2008 | 8:43 pm

Wilco Adrift at McCarren Park Pool

Photo: mysticchildz's flickr

What was missing from last evening’s Wilco show at McCarren Pool? It’s difficult to be exact, with so much that seemed right: cool breezes, cold beer, greasy pork sandwiches (served by Fette Sau, and not in dirty ashtrays). Plus: the big hits, multiple encores, a high ratio of tune to noise. Perhaps it was the proverbial cock tease — not wanky enough. Let us, first, lay to rest the lazy idea that McCarren Park Pool is some hipster refuge. Yesterday, if anything (and this is taking into consideration the hipster lovelies occasionally seen cantering, foal-like, to join friends in beer lines, or perhaps simply share sweet nothings), the venue harbored middle-stream preps, members, one gathers, of New York City’s more productive industries, glad to stop off at home on the way from work to, sartorially speaking, revert — also attitudinally, perhaps — to their college days. This is all to say that the band had a golden moment: casual rock fans, but serious about a favorite group, looking for a chill time. And it was chill. But it was not bluegrass-in-a-big-field chill. Maybe it was the concrete. Maybe it was the concision of the band’s discordant eruptions. Maybe it was us, all of us — middlestream and hip of center — not quite dissolving into the moment. It was a fine time. But not quite beautiful. —Nick Catucci

Source: Vulture -- Entertainment, Music, Culture, Theater, Movies, Art -- New York Magazine Blog | 14 Aug 2008 | 8:30 pm

Busy Phillips' Little Bundle of Joy

The stork has delivered a little Birdie for Busy. Actress Busy Philipps and her screenwriter hubby Marc Silverstein are celebrating the arrival of a bouncing baby girl, the couple's...

Source: E! Online - Top Stories | 14 Aug 2008 | 8:30 pm

Rushdie criticizes publisher for pulling novel

Read full story for latest details.

Source: CNN.com - Entertainment | 14 Aug 2008 | 8:24 pm

the euro-hipster, explained

If you haven't read about the Europeans spending their way through Manhattan this summer, you've certainly seen them. Lured by the advantageous exchange rate, they've descended upon our fair city in droves, settling into both the usual haunts (Cipriani Downtown, Da Silvano) and a few unusual ones (Whole Foods, the laundromat). Sartorially speaking, there are three variations of Europeanus touristus. First, we have the I'm-here-to see-"Mamma Mia"-not-clean-out-the-Chanel-store variety. Like their Middle American counterparts, they don't particularly cotton to designer labels or the latest trends. Their shoes are sensible Birkenstocks or Tevas and their accessories (read: fanny pack) are endearingly anachronistic. It should be noted that this breed is very rarely French. Next up we have the Euro-hipster (see above for Visual Aid). While our homegrown variety pretty much lives by American Apparel alone, the Euro-hipster is more inclined to spruce things up with a luxury label or two. Sporting a Louis Vuitton bag and a Lacoste tee, this particular gent described his look as, "Rock-and-roll, but dressier." Le freak, c'est chic, indeed. And then there are the old world, aristocratic types who look utterly pulled together without trying. These—it should be noted—are very often French. If you happen to spot one, it's best to keep your distance. Close proximity can induce feelings of frumpiness and all-around insecurity. If such symptoms persist, consult your nearest Barneys sales clerk.

—Evelyn Crowley

class="creditphoto">Photo: Nicola Kast

Hiroto Saguwara Reminds Us Why the Nineties Were So Awesome

Artist E.V. Day Unveils BDSM Barbie

E.V. Day’s Mummified Barbie (Silver) (2008).Courtesy of Cheim & Read

Toronto discovers 19 more films

Chelsea to Get the ‘Ritz-Carlton of Gentleman’s Clubs’

Chelsea: A strip club named Sapphire, which bills its Vegas branch as the "Ritz-Carlton of Gentleman's Clubs," wants to open at 23rd Street and Eleventh Avenue, along with a boutique hotel, steakhouse, and other "varying themes to satisfy every indulgence." If this area has to become a sex district again, can it at least be the old, raunchy, downscale kind? [Metro]
Crown Heights: Once more, with feeling: Locals do not want a homeless shelter moving here, which it may. "Now that we can walk outside without getting shot, you've decided to throw sand back on our heads," a resident says. But as unpleasant as it is, sand on your head is not as bad as getting shot, right? [Gothamist]
Park Slope: Who is stealing all the copper pipes around here? [Gowanus Lounge]

Rockaway Beach: Seventeen homes lined up on the 84th Street Pier, long owned by the state or city, will finally be able to be bought by their inhabitants, whose Italian families have lived their for generations. Even aerially, this little colony looks cute — check it out! [New York Press via Queens Crap]
Roosevelt Island: This tour around the dynamic, changing, bustling island has the best caption ever: "The Octagon was once a lunatic asylum and [is] now a luxury condominium." Same difference! [amNY]
Upper West Side: A-Rod is reportedly looking into a four-bedroom at 15 Central Park West, home of units up to $80 mil. And it's only two blocks from Madonna's place, if the duo's separate hype teams choose to extrude more faux-affair sausage from their collective buzz-grinder. [NYP]

Rushdie condemns cancellation of controversial Muhammad novel (AP)

AP - Salman Rushdie strongly criticized his publisher for pulling a historical novel about the prophet Muhammad and his child bride over concerns about angering Muslims.

Feds get tough on dorm room piracy

Catherine Millet has a new book coming out

Prosecutors: No charges for Christian Bale

One Aspiring Model Isn’t Thin Enough, Turns to Cocktailing

Model Tanya Dziahileva meets the weight
requirements.Photo: imaxtree

So what's the problem? You guessed it: Tatiana is — wait for it — a size 4. Modeling scouts advise her to slim down to a "loose size 2," which would require losing ten to fourteen pounds. Here's her account of her America's Next Top Model casting call:

"They lined us up against the wall and asked our name, age, measurements, height and weight," she says. "Then they told us to lift our shirts up just below the — the chest — and they filmed us to see our body type … That's when I was cut." She says she wasn't given an explanation. CW Network, which airs the show, says it doesn't have weight guidelines for the show but couldn't comment on the specifics of her rejection.

Innnteresting. So what is she doing instead of modeling? Just like the casting agents, those savory characters known as nightclub promoters flocked to her, too, asking her to bring her pretty to their parties. Like any naïve 18-year-old, she accepted. And now she's taken on jobs as a bottle girl at nightclubs, where undoubtedly very respectful and respectable patrons will collectively tip her around $600 to $1,500 a night. Seeing as she's not even legally allowed to hang out in those places, her mother is pretty concerned about these new gigs. We are too.

Slim Chance: An Aspiring Model's Challenge [WSJ]

Jay McInerney Speaks!

Photo: Getty Images

So there you have it! Jeremiah Harris. Except then in a subsequent e-mail McInerney referred to his character as "Sebastian." So, you know, drugs. Anyway, it's one or the other.

Related: Meet Alison Poole, A.K.A. Rielle Hunter [NYM]

Brian Austin Green Would Make a Terrific Riddler, Claims Brian Austin Green

Photo-illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images

From 90210 To Gotham City? Brian Austin Green Makes Pitch For Riddler Casting [MTV]

Earlier: We Are Kind of Worried About That Rumor About Batman, Johnny Depp, and Philip Seymour Hoffman

no, it's not a tattoo

Does Olympic beach volleyball star Kerri Walsh's kinesio tape--which she uses to increase blood flow through her muscles—look like it could've come from the atelier of Martin Margiela, or is it just us?

'Half-Blood Prince' moves to July

No New 9/11 Commission After All?

The World Trade Center site, this summer.Photo: Getty Images

They’re calling for a privately funded investigative panel, empowered with subpoena authority by the City Council and staffed with their own slate, including former senators Lincoln Chafee and Mike Gravel, 9/11 widow Lorie Van Auken, and Asner. They’d redo the work of Tom Kean’s federal commission, which they call “seriously flawed.

Now we hear that the initiative has come up short of the requisite 30,000 signatures and will have to extend its petition drive to the next election cycle. "We were hoping to get the signatures to the City Council (before September 4) but we have come up short and are very disappointed we have run out of time," Jameison said. The Brooklyn Web designer claims the campaign has gathered 25,000 signatures and says he will soon send a formal notice to supporters of the initiative nationwide. These include 9/11 widow Lorie Van Auken and Ed Asner (who have agreed to serve on the proposed commission) and financial donors like human-rights lawyer William Pepper, former Dallas Cowboy Mark Stepnoski, and California businessman Michael Davis. —Mary Reinholz

Related: Asner vs. Cheney in NYC 9/11 Commission [NYM]

ABC Declares New Official Holiday: ‘National Stay at Home Week’

Photo-illustration: istockphoto, Courtesy of ABC

Thanks, ABC! Whatever inspired such a generous gift? "It's a fun way to package and present our premiere week and make it uniquely ABC as well," says ABC marketing executive Mike Benson. Um, "uniquely ABC," huh? So when you say "Stay at Home," you mean "Stay at Home and Watch the 'David Blaine Special'? Sigh. Maybe next time be a little more specific? —Lori Fradkin

ABC says 'Stay home, save gas' [Variety]

Video: Siriano Calls Kate Moss a ‘Stumpy Stump,’ Britney a Tranny Mess

Have you had your fierce fix today? This video should do it for you. Christian Siriano talked to Bluefly.com's Flypaper blog, and in one minute and 51 seconds he managed to make us cringe. First, in response to which "tranny mess" he'd like to dress, he replies Britney Spears. Aw, and we thought she was on the up-and-up! What would he do for her? Hook it up for the VMAs, Christian, seriously. Then, when asked about his model preference, he says, "I'm over the five-eight-ers. I mean, Kate Moss? She's a stumpy stump!" Guess we know who's not walking in his upcoming fashion show. Finally, when he described his ideal runway walk, we were treated to one fierce finger wag. Click above to experience His Fierceness for yourselves. —Sharon Clott

Christian Siriano on his "Dream Tranny Customer" [Flypaper/Bluefly]

ABC blasted for format memo

Ghostface Knows the Gangster Love and He Knows the Hipster Love

Photo: Getty Images

"Sports Night was on right between The Drew Carey Show and Spin City. ABC would tell me, 'You're losing 20 percent of Drew Carey's audience.' I would tell them, 'I don't think so. I think I'm losing 100 percent of Drew Carey's audience.'" —Aaron Sorkin [GQ]

"He is a dreamboat. If I were that age and single, I'd be in so much trouble." —Melora Hardin on Seventeen Again co-star Zac Efron [MTV]

"I said, 'Wow, this girl is angry.' And then I said, 'Oh man, I think it's Alanis.'" —Dave Coulier on hearing "You Oughta Know" for the first time [People]

"In one word: No. In two words, hell, no!" —Kid Rock on the rumors that he's collaborating with Britney Spears [People]

singing the limited blues

Tired of paying top dollar for your dungarees? We hear that The Limited jeans are manufactured by a well-known denim brand with a celebrity following. We can't reveal any details, but we can say this: The Limited denim fits well and is very light on unnecessary details. Oh, and the high-waisted style is not only a must-have, it costs half what the famous manufacturer charges for its version. The Limited high-waisted jeans, $69.50, available at The Limited stores nationwide, for more information see www.thelimited.com.

The Pope Wears Fur … and Feels the Burn

Looking at this is making us sweat.Photo: Getty Images

Sounds like a real pickle for the Popester. But we have to say: We're amazed he has the wherewithal to wear fur in Italy this time of year. We mean, Weather.com says it feels like 89 degrees there right now. Maybe he's too holy to sweat?

Vatican: Pope makes fur fly over revival of ermine robes [Guardian]

Michael Phelps Is Gold for NBC

Yeah, but just wait until he plays Jeff Zucker. In
tennis.Photo: Getty Images

FINANCE
• Much to the dismay of its wealthy clients, Goldman Sachs has its lips zipped on this whole auction-rate-securities mess. In fact, unlike Citigroup and UBS, it appears that the bank might not buy back the securities from its customers. [WSJ]
• Recent market optimism may have just been a sugar high: Financial stocks were hit hard yesterday due to rising oil prices and continued subprime woes. Bank of America fell 7 percent, and Lehman Brothers dropped 4 percent, while AIG was down 3.5 percent. [NYP]
• Lehman Brothers is trying to flip $14 billion worth of commercial-real-estate assets as the firm tries to clean up its balance sheet. BlackRock, the U.S.'s largest publicity traded fund manager, is a potential target. "BlackRock is a logical buyer," one analyst said. "They have experience in managing portfolios of assets like these." [Bloomberg]
• Alan Greenspan's stance on the government's response to the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac crisis? "Bad." [WSJ]
• Is Google the new Berkshire Hathaway? [Deal Journal/WSJ]

REAL ESTATE
• Get out your checkbooks out: "The finest, most complex, and maybe even magical new condominium project" is "currently for sale in New York City." [NYDN]
• The Bloomberg administration's Willets Point project, which would remove more than 200 small businesses in Queens to make way for $3 billion in development, met opposition yesterday as protesters took to the streets chanting "Justice for Willets Point!" and "Save Willets Point!" [NYT]
• If you want to skip lunch today (both because you will want to throw up and because you'll want to start saving every penny you have), check out this floor plan of the Mehiel duplex in the Carhart Mansion, up for $35 million. [Curbed]

LAW
• A new ranking shows that the most prestigious law firms in the U.S. are all based in New York. The firms include Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz, followed by Cravath, Swaine & Moore; Sullivan & Cromwell; Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom; and David Polk & Wardwell. [Legal Blog Watch]
• How did we miss this? Last week, the American Bar Association held a mock hearing — set to Mozart's Don Giovanni. Yes, that's right: The testifying and cross-examining all happened in song. Oh, those crazy lawyers! [NYT]
• Pryor Cashman is in negotiations to lease 100,000 square feet of space at 605 Third Avenue. The entertainment-law powerhouse, whose clients include Bob Guccione and numerous American Idol contestants, currently occupies three buildings. "It creates certain inefficiencies, in having three elevator banks, three buildings, three sets of everything," the firm's managing partner said. [NYO]

Madonna at 50: She still dresses to her own beat (AP)

AP - No matter what your taste, there's probably a Madonna for you.

Fight Back Against High Gas Prices by Watching a Short Film About a Bike

How far would you ride your bike to visit a girl who may or may not want to see you? Tom Schroeder's adorable and funny animated 2000 short Bike Ride tells the seemingly simple tale of a man’s 50-mile bike journey to pay a surprise visit to his girlfriend. Schroeder’s line drawings illustrate both James Petersen’s freewheeling narration and Dave King’s improvised jazz soundtrack. The result is a dreamlike, dizzying head trip. Now in its eighth year, The Bicycle Film Festival is a traveling showcase that journeys to seventeen cities to show films that celebrate the ability of bicycling “to transport us in many ways,” none of which cost $5 a gallon. —Bilge Ebiri

Video: Transgender ‘America’s Next Top Model’ Contestant Speaks, Works It

But here's the really important question: Can she model? We have two videos of Isis "working it" from before ANTM after the jump.

'Top Model' Catwalk to Feature Transgender Model [ET]
ANTM Cycle 11 Contestants: Isis [Top Model Gossip]

Related: The Cast of ‘America's Next Top Model’ Cycle Eleven Announced (Updated)

Jerome Corsi’s Anti-Obama Book Makes James Frey Look Like Plutarch

An honest face.Photos: Getty Images

• Eli Saslow says Corsi's book is the "most damning in his portrait of" Obama than any other anti-Obama book. Corsi admits that the purpose of the book "is to keep Obama from getting elected." [WP]

• Joe Klein laments that "[b]ack in the day, John McCain was the sort of politician who would stand first in line to call out this sort of swill." And, in fact, the McCain-sanctioned claim that Obama doesn't "put his country first" is smear just like Corsi's and just like the ones that brought down McCain in 2000. [Swampland/Time]

• David Corn thinks the problem with the mainstream media is its "inability to call plainly a lie a lie. Or a liar a liar." Instead of reporting the lies of the book, the New York Times "took the easy path" by focusing on the controversy over the book and not whether it's claims were true. [CQ Politics]

• Matthew Yglesias thinks that "smear artists" are taking advantage of "structural flaws in the elite media" that lead it to take a balanced viewpoint no matter what. He hopes "others in the press catch on" to Klein's attitude. [Think Progress]

• David Paul Kuhn reports that Kerry and his former advisers believe Obama must immediately push back hard against Corsi's smears to avoid the damage that befell Kerry's campaign in 2004. Obama is better equipped to respond because he does not have financial limitations and has incorporated Kerry veterans into his campaign. [Politico]

• Byron York doesn't think this book will have the same impact as Unfit for Command, because this time it's not backed up by, for example, "several of the ministers who worked with Obama in the 1980s who say he is unfit for office," as the swift-boat veterans backed up the anti-Kerry stories. [Corner/National Review]

• Timothy Noah wonders what a "professional propagandist" like Mary Matalin is doing running a publishing imprint anyway and whether "'conservative' publishing...aspires even to the standards of the nonideological (or what conservatives call the 'liberal') publishing establishment." [Slate]

• Jennifer Rubin claims that while "inaccuracies or exaggerations in these latest accounts" are "fair game," it's "inexcusable...that the mainstream media itself has done such a putrid job of exploring Obama’s roots." To assume that Obama's "fictionalized" and "self-congratulatory narrative" is all the information it needs is wrong, and they should vet Obama just as "they have for every other candidate in recent memory." [Contentions/Commentary]

• Andrew Romano writes that because "many voters have already shown a willingness to believe the worst about the unfamiliar Obama...[a book] that purports to prove each of these easily disprovable claims is something of an inconvenience for the Illinois senator." Whether to respond to the smears and risk publicizing them is "the classic Catch-22 of presidential campaigning." [Stumper/Newsweek]

• Mike Madden muses that the "book has already had more holes shot through it than one of Dick Cheney's hunting partners." Although less known than his Kerry book, Corsi "has also written or co-written books saying U.S. officials plan to merge the country with Canada and Mexico and that oil is neither a fossil fuel nor a finite resource." [War Room/Salon]

• Media Matters fact-checks the book, and it isn't pretty. [Media Matters] —Dan Amira

For a complete and regularly updated guide to presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain — from First Love to Most Embarrassing Gaffe — read the 2008 Electopedia.

Guess Which ‘Overboard’ Floozy Is Rielle Hunter

Meanwhile, if we were John Edwards, we would have definitely forced her to wear one of those bathing suits to the bedroom. Or you know, campaign-jet bathroom, or whatever was their thing.

Rielle Hunter's 'Overboard' Cameo [NYM Video]
John Edwards Mistress Had Minor Film Roles [Us Weekly]

*Kidding. This is a movie which includes a "hapless cleaning montage" involving a washing machine overflowing with suds, which is a technical disqualifier for any Oscar consideration.

Le Corbusier's life shown in 2,000 illustrations (AP)

ahoj, mate

Charlotte Ronson Collaborates on Swimwear; Kate Holmes Denies Design Plans

A preview of Samantha Pleet's Urban Outfitters line.Photo: Tim Zaragoza for refinery29.com

• Here's a peek at Samantha Pleet's capsule collection for Urban Outfitters, Rapscallion. It's heavy on her signature cutesy rompers, cape coats, and tea dresses with a goth flair. [Refinery29]

• Narcisco Rodriguez will receive the Special Achievement in Fashion Award at this year's American Latino Media Arts Awards. Golf clap. [British Vogue]

• Charlize Theron and her beau, Stewart Townsend, will host a party for André "3000" Benjamin at Barneys during Fashion Week to kick off his new line, Benjamin Bixby. Um, invite us? [WWD]

• Karl Lagerfeld is illustrating a fashion story for British Vogue. And he even hand-painted the invitations for an official Lagerfeld party in Saint-Tropez. How Martha Stewart of him. [WWD]

• Miss Sixty will launch its first e-commerce site in partnership with Yoox. [British Vogue]

• Erin O'Connor, the supermodel and Vogue.com blogger, will be auctioning off items from her personal wardrobe at Christie's in South Kensington with proceeds going to the British Fashion Council. [British Vogue]

• Katie Holmes denied immediate plans to start a clothing line, even though she helped her stylist select her fabulous outfit for the premiere of Tropic Thunder. Good girl. [British Vogue]

• Behati Prinsloo ate truffle fries with her cute boyfriend at Waverly Inn. That's right — we said fries. [Chic Report/Fashion Week Daily]

• Audrina Patridge just announced on her blog that she will make a guest appearance on Jerry O'Connell's new Fox sitcom Do Not Disturb, which premieres this fall. Oh no! We hope this doesn't mean she has less time for The Hills! [Audrina Patridge]

Phony Joker Pleads Guilty to Malicious Destruction

summer read: the dud avocado

If you're looking for an easy read and don't feel quite vegetative enough to sink to airport potboiler level, try Elaine Dundy's "The Dud Avocado" (NYRB Classics). Published in 1958, it tells the story of one Sally Jay Gorce, American girl on the loose in Paris. But the clichés end there—even when she's exasperating, Sally's a charming and unconventional companion, perfect for whiling away a few hours in the shade with. And if that's not endorsement enough, here's what Groucho Marx had to say about the book: "It made me laugh, scream, and guffaw (which incidentally, is a great name for a law firm)."

Downey: 'Thunder' Is Parody, Not Offensive

'Virgin' Actor Malil Pleads Not Guilty

Pop Tarts: Brooke Hogan Takes Dig at Paris Hilton

Cruise's Film Partner Resigns from Studio

nailing the look

Bijules is as described by designer Jules Kim as both defiant and identifying, but we'll throw in clever and fun, too. Take these gold nail rings. Part of Kim's Serpensive collection, the snake-shaped accessories are fully customizable (you pick the color of your gold and the pavé setting stones). Then feel free to call attention to your new baubles. We suggest squinting your eyes, adopting a pensive look, and bringing your hand up to your chin—all the better to bling you with. For more information, see www.bijulesnyc.com.

Stiller on the Making of 'Tropic Thunder'

DMX Arrested After Hearing No-Show

'Dallas' Cast Members to Reunite for Show's 30th Anniversary

FOX411: Tom Cruise's Holiday Gift: Hitler

Lindsay Lohan Angry About Sister's Breast Boost Rumors

Why Scarlett Johansson kissed Penelope Cruz

Bernie Mac's Last Role Includes 'Madagascar'

Salman Rushdie Condemns Cancellation of Muhammad Novel

Julia Child Among Spies Revealed in U.S. Documents