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Photo-illustration: Courtesy of Universal and Marvel
We'd assumed that Norton's draft of the script just added a bunch of boring actor-y things, such as crying and extended Shakespearean monologues, and Marvel, not wanting to remake the mistakes of Ang Lee's Lifetime Original–style The Hulk in 2003, was just editing those bits out. But now it sounds like Norton was just trying to flesh out the backstory and give the non-green Bruce Banner a little more depth (Friedman says he "added lots of dialogue, and worked on the character of the Hulk's alter ego to make him more human") — things that most critics, even the ones who liked it, say this movie is lacking. Roger Ebert says it "sidesteps the intriguing aspects of Hulkdom and spends way too much time in, dare I say, noisy and mindless action sequences." "The origin story, dwelled upon at great length in [Ang Lee's] Hulk, is here telescoped into a neat little montage that accompanies the opening titles," writes A.O. Scott in today's Times. "[W]ithout a vivid, complex character at the center of the movie, even the more inspired bits … feel perfunctory and familiar." Should Marvel have listened to Norton? It sort of looks like it!
Caution: Contents Turn Angry When Shaken [NYT]
Incredible Sulk? Edward Norton Skips 'Hulk' Publicity [Fox News]
Earlier: Edward Norton Battling Marvel Over ‘The Incredible Hulk’
New Cavalli star Angela Lindvall.Photo: Getty Images
• Calvin Klein, Anna Wintour, and André Leon Talley are hosting a cocktail party and dinner for Michelle Obama next week. Tickets to the cocktail party cost $1,000, a photo with Obama costs $2,300, and a seat at the dinner at Klein's house costs $10,000. Bargain. [NYP]
• Bling the alarm — a suitcase containing $15,000 worth of Russell Simmons's bling was stolen! [NYP]
• Ralph Lauren will show his Purple Label and Black Label collections in Paris at the end of this month instead of New York in late summer. [Haute Concept]
• Juicy Couture is changing the name of its men's collection from Juicy Couture for Men to Dirty English, the name of its men's fragrance. Do try to avoid mass confusion and ensuing hysteria. [WWD]
• Naomi Campbell was a bridesmaid to friend and Sean Combs's former assistant Norma Augenblick. That is a bold move by Augenblick. [NYP]
• The new Jil Sander store on Howard Street is designed so that every way you turn you'll see your reflection. Finally someone understands how vain we all are. [WWD]
• On June 18 Nordstrom and Vogue will host a shopping event on the Upper East Side. So go and pretend you're shopping at a real Nordstrom. [WWD]
• It only takes Alexa Chung fifteen minutes to get ready because she's lazy. But she changes outfits three times a day. [British Vogue]
• Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole only works out her abs while she's driving. Yes, while she's driving. [NYDN]
Do not question his panties.Photo: Getty Images
Katherine Harris's ex-campaign manager is writing a tell-all about Harris. Joe Armstrong, a.k.a. the "mayor of Michael's," had lunch at the Four Seasons with Barbara Walters, David Zinczenko, Lesley Stahl, and Lance Armstrong, but says he'll be back to his old stomping grounds. Naomi Campbell was a bridesmaid at the wedding of Sean Combs's former assistant Norma Augenblick. Dustin Hoffman says his wife told him to stop wearing cardigans and slippers because it made him look like a "retired actor."
Showgirls screenwriter Joe Eszterhas just finished a book about his relationship with Jesus. Matthew Modine thinks that Rudy Giuliani is the most annoying person in New York City. The Olsen twins and three "really snotty" friends went to the Bonnaroo music festival in Tennessee. Comedian Robert Klein got into a debate with talk-show host Steve Malzberg at Trattoria Dell'Arte over Malzberg's support of John McCain. Coco, the 4-year-old daughter of Courteney Cox and David Arquette, rocked a long blonde wig at Il Sole. Tatum O'Neal sipped water and sang karaoke at a bar on the Lower East Side. Cindy Adams muses about Father's Day and Friday the 13th.
Courtesy of 20th Century Fox
So, we now totally love Manohla Dargis. The Butcher of Beverly Hills*, the New York Times' L.A.-based hatchet woman, is justifiably resented by studios for the angry, agitating reviews she writes of their pieces of crap. And now — as if to cement her position as the critical world's biggest contrarian — she's given a positive review to the one movie that pretty much everyone had already agreed was terrible, M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening. (She's not the only one — Roger Ebert also liked it.) Her piece definitely feels like an "It's not as bad as you think" review rather than an "It's legitimately good" review, though; in fact, it's kind of illuminating to point out all the really terrible things she says about the movie in a review that's theoretically pegged as a positive one:
• She describes Shyamalan's filmmaking as full of "manufactured sincerity and cornball messages."
• "Mr. Shyamalan’s words consistently fail him, as they have in the past."
• She describes Zooey Deschanel as "oddly miscast" and "loony-looking" and says her scenes with Wahlberg are "witless marital shtick."
• "Mr. Shyamalan’s bag of tricks is awfully familiar — the camera races forward, the characters stand locked in place, a child’s empty swing sways in the wind, eyes widen, mouths gape."
• "It’s a shame he doesn’t know what to do with [his premise] other than mow people down."
• "The movie unwinds like a series of ghastly tableaux vivants pasted together with sloppy domestic comedy."
• "Something is happening, all right, but Mr. Shyamalan, who certainly appears to enjoy playing God, doesn’t seem to care much."
The final verdict is best summed up in this shrug of praise: "There is, after all, real pleasure to be had from watching a magician pull even a mangy rabbit out of a battered top hat." And for that, Metacritic gave this review a 70! We guess The Happening really does defeat the laws of math.
Something Lethal Lurks in the Rustling Trees [NYT]
*Note: We are pretty sure Manohla Dargis doesn't live in Beverly Hills. We just needed an L.A. neighborhood that started with B.
Photo: Getty Images
Former heavyweight champion and current high talker Mike Tyson put a $50,000 hit out on members of the Brooklyn drug gang that (allegedly) killed his former bodyguard, a witness testified yesterday. Dwayne "Thor" Meyers testified that Tyson put up the money to avenge the June 2000 slaying of his friend and ex-bodyguard, Darryl "Homicide" Baum, who was shot to death several months after allegedly firing nine shots at rapper 50 Cent. (In related news, 50 Cent's baby mama recently accused him of trying to kill her by burning his house down. Circle of violence, people.)
The claim came to light during the trial of Abubakr Raheem, an (alleged! No killing of us, please) member of the Cash Money Brothers gang, the New York Post reports. Nothing ever came of the contract, however.
"We got word Mike Tyson and [another man] had both contributed $50,000 apiece for the murders of Cash Money Brothers," said Meyers (that’s “Thor“ to you). What happened to Mike Tyson? He seemed so much nicer in our childhood Nintendo game Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out… —Noelle Hancock
Tyson In Hit Bid: Witness [NYP]
Jack Bauer has a new nemesis.
Per the Hollywood Reporter, four-time Oscar nominee Jon Voight has come aboard to play the baddie hatching the latest terrorist threat in the upcoming...The other night in London, Swarovski held a fashion show to celebrate the city's first Jewelery Week puntastically titled Runway Rocks. They commissioned outfits and jewelry by Marios Schwab, Christopher Kane, Julien Macdonald, and more. But the show was no mere trip down Badgley Mischka Lane. In fact, the designs were closer to blingin' bondage and costumes a really famous singer might wear on tour. Have a look-see:
Airplane neck pillows can be used as chic new accessories! That sparkly vinelike thing in the middle looks like it makes for a mighty effective pectoral stretch. And that catsuit on the right — is it just us, or does that look like something Kanye West would wear four months in the future on his "I AM ICE KING" tour?Photo: Getty Images
A headdress! We totally forgot we needed one of those! Our plan to upstage André Leon Talley shall be realized at last. When Paris Hilton gets over her philanthropic "efforts" and gets into science, that middle number will be her coming-out ensemble. And look how sweet — that outfit on the right says "LOVE"! Absolutely fetching for Valentine's Day dinner. And if her date gets drunk and stumbly, he can just grab that little banister around her waist. Photo: Getty Images
Doesn't it look like the model on the left is wearing a crab? But, like, her breast coverings could be the eyes or the pincers? The gal in the middle — Pirates of the Caribbean–inspired? On the right, giant tasseled hoses are apparently the big-ticket item — forget wearing scarves. Those are soooo 2008.Photo: Getty Images
Julien Macdonald threw us all a curveball by going for a wearable look. Oh Julien. In the middle, Marios Schwab's creation is part macramé and all goth. And the model on the right almost didn't make it down the runway because Lil' Kim called and demanded her nipple studs back. Photo: Getty Images
Photo: thesockobama.com
This kind of garbage has come up before (it was reported in May that a bar owner in Georgia was selling T-shirts that said “Obama ‘08” and showed Curious George eating a banana), but the Sock Obama Website seemed even more nefarious for some reason. Maybe it's because it doesn’t even hint at any racist intentions; they could have easily been selling Vermont Teddy Bears. So we e-mailed these fascinating merchants, as we were frankly puzzled and looking for answers. And last night the Sock Obama company sent out a standardized reply to 22 prestigious information seekers, including us. It was incredibly informative. Especially if you are a fan of elaborate mind games.
To Those with Heartfelt Queries,
We chose twenty-two customer queries today that we believe merit a response. You touched us with either your concern, intelligence, humor, sensitivity, and/or your thoughtfulness. We thank you. There are other queries we received today as well that we chose not to respond to, because of their spewing of venom and their aimlessness.
We at TheSockObama Co. are saddened that some individuals have chosen to misinterpret our plush toy. It is not, nor has it ever been our objective to hurt, dismay or anger anyone. We guess there is an element of naviete on our part, in that we don't think in terms of myths, fables, fairy tales and folklore. We simply made a casual and affectionate observation one night, and a charming association between a candidate and a toy we had when we were little. We wonder now if this might be a great opportunity to take this moment to really try and transcend still existing racial biases. We think that if we can do this together, maybe it will behoove us a nation and maybe we'll even begin to truly communicate with one another more tenderly, more real even.
This is only our introductory plush toy. If we choose to move forward with a Republican candidate, we'll begin with an elongated and slightly lumpy, fuzzy Idaho potato. Had a different Democratic candidate won the nomination, we were prepared to move forward with the cutest, fluffiest 12" chestnut and golden-haired squirrel, with a short Farrah-like do in a brown pantsuit and call her Squirellary.
In earnest folks, we're so sorry we offended anybody.
Best Regards,
TheSockObama Co. www.thesockobama.com
Let's get this right: They made an “affectionate” association between Senator Obama and a toy monkey, but they profess hope that we can “transcend still existing racial biases.” Really? Might this in fact be an esoteric, sophisticated way of starting a conversation on race? It’s just hard to see how someone could be this oblivious in an unironic way. Then again, there are about six black people in Utah, so maybe it’s possible. But we're still hoping this is just an overwrought graduate-school project or something. —Dan Amira
Photo: Getty Images
Henry "Uncle Love" Vaughn, a supposed former mentor of Kelly, is claiming he taught him the "stepping" dance featured in the video and lyrics of the 2003 hit "Step in the Name of Love (Remix)", and alleges he was promised half of whatever profits Kellz saw from the track and video (he was apparently never paid). This is patently absurd.
The video was simply a promotional tool (filmed aboard a yacht, which was probably very expensive) for Kelly's excellent album Chocolate Factory, and, thus, was provided to TV stations for free with no expectation of remuneration. And while "Step in the Name of Love (Remix)" reached No. 9 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and was subsequently included on The R. in R&B Collection, Vol. 1, it was never released in the U.S. as a physical single, making it nearly impossible to calculate the profits from just that specific track. Kelly, no stranger to the music business, would've known all this and would probably have never made such an unkeepable promise, especially not to someone who acted only in the capacity of "unofficial choreographer" (and that's putting it generously!) who didn't even invent the stepping dance. Plus, come on, man — R. Kelly has a lot on his mind today!
Uncle Love: I Was R. Kelly's Dance Whiz [TMZ]
Closing arguments complete; Deliberations begin [Kelly Chronicles/ Chicago Sun-Times]
AP - Mike Huckabee, a former Republican presidential hopeful, has been hired by Fox News Channel as a political commentator.
AP - Mike Huckabee, a former Republican presidential hopeful, has been hired by Fox News Channel as a political commentator.
Reuters - Alternative rock band Stone Temple
Pilots said it was surprised by a lawsuit from its record label
this week, and hopes to return to the studio to record a new
album soon.
Warren Beatty receives the AFI treatment USA Today - By Anthony Breznican,, USA TODAY LOS ANGELES - Warren Beatty was upstaged at his own lifetime achievement event by, of all things, an aging ladies man and charismatic charmer. Hef & His Girls Check Out AFI Life Achievement Award Hollywood Left-Fest |
Show some respect, if you can muster it.Photo: Jed Egan
If a communal gathering for pigeon cookies and birdie scriptures creeps you out, you could just pay homage to our city's iconic pests by checking out some of "Pigeon Genius" on YouTube. But honestly, we got about twelve seconds in before all the flock footage made us get all panicky like Tippi Hedren and we had to shut it off. Maybe there's no way to celebrate Pigeon Day within the comfort zone? Maybe that's the point? —Jessica Coen
It's National Pigeon Day [TierneyLab]
If the best way to measure the growth of a band is by the tantrums thrown by its frontman, then Coldplay just reached the next plateau of their career.
Adding "the music" to the...
AP - Bill Clinton was among those saluting Warren Beatty as the Oscar-winning actor-director received a lifetime achievement award from the American Film Institute.
AP - Bill Clinton was among those saluting Warren Beatty as the Oscar-winning actor-director received a lifetime achievement award from the American Film Institute.
STARTING TODAY
• Handcrafted jewelry, scarves, and clutches from SURevolution are up to 70 percent off today only. 197 Grand St., nr. Mott St., Ste. 6S; 10–7.
ENDING TODAY
• Beaded gowns (now $161), high-waisted denim pants (now $66), and safari-print wrap dresses are up to 75 percent off at Tibi. 336 W. 37th St., nr. Eighth Ave., eleventh fl. (212-966-3773); 9:30–5:30.
• Eugenia Kim's funky hair accessories, hats, and belts for both sexes are reduced by 50 to 70 percent; the Muffy Equestrian Cap is now $85. 347 W. 36th St. , nr. Eighth Ave., Ste. 502 (212-674-1345); 10–7.
• Delman’s signature flats, wedges, and sandals are as low as $75 at the warehouse sale. Through 6/13. Metropolitan Pavilion, 123 W. 18th St. , nr. Sixth Ave., fourth fl. (212-399-2323); 10–7.
• The breezy resort and spring/summer collection from Thread Social is up to 75 percent off. 26 W. 17th St., nr. Fifth Ave., Ste. 301 (212-414-8844); 9–7.
• The Chaudry, Alara, and Fusun showrooms are banding together to put all their womenswear samples from twelve contemporary collections on sale. 214 W. 39th St. , nr. Seventh Ave. (212-840-0600); 10–6.
• A slew of Chanel, Blumarine, Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci, and more is getting marked down by 75 percent. Cocktail dresses are $750 (originally $5,000), and tops are $300 (originally $1,600). Regency Hotel, 540 Park Ave., at 61st St., penthouse; 917-940-9934; 10–7.
STARTING TOMORROW
• The lingerie, accessories, and sexual accoutrements from Myla’s spring/summer collection are up to 60 percent off. A skirted knicker is $62 (was $125), a padded balconnet bra is $95 (was $190), and a plunge bra is $115 (was $230). Through 8/1. Myla, 20 E. 69th St., nr. Fifth Ave.; (212-570-1590); Mon.–Sat. (10–6); Sun. (noon–5).
ENDING TOMORROW
• Earnest Sewn jeans, sweaters, and tees are $22 to $100. 71 Gansevoort St., at Washington St., third fl. (212-242-3414); 8–8.
• Tory Burch’s tees, totes, and dresses start at $40. 261 W. 36th St., nr. Eighth Ave., second fl. (212-947-8748); Wed. and Fri. (10–6); Thurs. (10–7); Sat. (11–5).
• Take a break from shopping and enjoy a mini-massage and facial courtesy of Menscience. Barneys Co-Op, 236 W. 18th St., nr. Eighth Ave. (212-716-8860); 1–6.
STARTING SUNDAY
• Feraud’s spring and summer collection are up to 80 percent off. Find a yellow cocktail dress for $175 (was $875) or a yellow leather jacket for $365 (was $1,825). Through 6/17. 317 W. 33rd St., nr. Eighth Ave. (718-747-1656); Sun.–Tues. (9–6:30).
ENDING SUNDAY
• The great selection of vintage and consignment apparel and accessories from Bis Designer Resale are going on sale, with items from Pucci, Ralph Lauren, Hermès, Manolos, and more for 50 to 90 percent off. A Chanel pant set retails for $2,200 but is selling for $250, and a Jil Sander sport jacket is down to just $200 from $1,200. 1134 Madison Ave., nr. 84th St., second fl. (212-396-2760); Thurs. (10–7), Fri.–Sat. (10–6), Sun. (12–5).
• Rogan and Loomstate are having a sample sale. Merchandise is up to 75 percent off. 91 Franklin St., nr. Broadway, ground fl. (646-827-7554); Thurs.–Sat. (11–7); Sun. (noon–6).
• Find Mara Hoffman’s spring/summer collection up to 85 percent off, including swimwear and shoes. 70 Greene St., nr. Broome St. (212-505-3020); Thurs.–Fri. (10–7), Sat. (11–7), Sun. (noon–6).
• The streetwear duds from Triple 5 Soul are majorly discounted. Word is all gear will go for $15 to $70. 33 W. 17th St., nr. Sixth Ave.; Mon.–Fri. (10–8), Sat.–Sun. (11–8).
 PRESS TV | Picassos stolen in second recent Brazil art heist Reuters - SAO PAULO (Reuters) - Armed robbers stole two Pablo Picasso prints and two works by Brazilian artists from Sao Paulo's Pinacoteca Museum on Thursday, officials said, the second major art theft in the Brazilian city in six months. Armed robbers steal Picasso prints in Brazil Two Picasso Prints Stolen from Sao Paulo Museum |
Ansari Clocks In: Aziz Ansari, best known as an arbiter of hilarity on MTV's Human Giant, has become the first announced cast member of NBC's new spinoff of The Office. Producer Greg Daniels says they "already have a great character for him"; we urge Daniels to not necessarily cast him as an I.T. guy. [Variety]
Guare and Durang Go Public: In addition to Stephen Sondheim's previously announced Bounce, the 2008–2009 season at the Public Theater will include John Guare's A Free Man of Color, starring Mos Def and Jeffrey Wright; Christopher Durang's Why Torture Is Wrong, and the People Who Love Them; and Danny Hoch's Brooklyn-gentrification hip-hop drama Taking Over, which we're hoping features an appearance by The What. [Playbill]
Emmerich Marks Peet for Disaster: Amanda Peet will play the female lead in Roland Emmerich's disaster epic — as though we even need to say the genre — 2012. Peet will play John Cusack's ex-wife who's married to a rich guy, but will the end of the world make her change her feelings? Yes. [HR]
Eccleston Flies the Disappearing Skies: Christopher Eccleston (Jude in Jude the Obscure; Destro in G.I. Joe) will be joining Hilary Swank in the cockpit for Amelia's ill-fated flight, playing Earhart's navigator Fred Noonan, a navigator that she in no way regretted hiring. Nope, no sir, definitely not. [Variety]
 Sydney Morning Herald | Coldplay star abandons interview BBC News - Coldplay singer Chris Martin has walked out of a BBC interview while promoting the band's new album. Nine minutes into the pre-recorded interview for Radio 4 arts show Front Row, the 31-year-old asked to leave the studio as he was not enjoying himself. Coldplay on their new album Coldplay album set to top UK chart |
Zooey Deschanel: Actress, Chanteuse, Anti-Teen Idol ABC News - by IAN SELTZER With a history of singing songs from the 1890s, taking cues from Alfred Hitchcock and being born into a showbiz family, Zooey Deschanel swings into theaters this weekend in M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening," along with Mark Wahlberg ... 'The Happening' Shyamalan's 'Happening' Lacks a Sense of Direction |
The same week The Incredible Hulk hits theaters, John Mayer was caught heading out of a Beverly Hills medical facility Wednesday carrying a bag labeled "Experimental Human Growth Hormones, 2x...
Photo: Getty Images
Wouldn’t it be nice to be famous so you could just pop by your favorite presidential candidate’s office or shoot him an e-mail to ask where he stands on the issues that are dear to you? On the heels of Scarlett Johansson’s admission that she e-mails with Barack Obama comes the news that his staffers are taking meetings with Jennifer Lopez. Though the Illinois senator was away at the time, J.Lo met with his people as she toured Washington to talk about matters “close to her heart,” according to People.com. What could that be? you ask.
"Ms. Lopez was on the Hill with her sister to meet with staff members of several senators to discuss issues she is interested in, such as health care and education," Lopez's rep says of the Tuesday meeting.Obama’s spokesperson was quick to add, "She just came in for the meeting and departed. It was not campaign-related." We miss those halcyon days when actresses were just actresses and singers sang about the issues that really mattered. Like the block. And the importance of getting loud. —Noelle Hancock
J.Lo Talks To Barack Obama’s Staff [People]
Photo: Courtesy of Hickey
We're Back: Hickey Reopens [Racked]
Are Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson ready to give it a try again?
According to Rolling Stone, Lee says he, his ex-wife and two boys are back living under the same...Blogopticon [VF]
Marcia Cross hit a bump in the road yesterday.
The Desperate Housewives star was behind the wheel Wednesday afternoon when her Lexus RX collided with another car, which, judging from...
What happens in The Happening? M. Night Shyamalan might blackball me from the business if I tell you, but I know one thing: The guy's movies make money. So do scary movies, and let's not...
Sitting through reruns can be such a drag. Or it can just be really uncomfortable.
The eight-man, four-woman jury sitting in judgment of R. Kelly rewatched the sex tape at the center of...
Consider this only a rumor for the time being. However, word has been rippling through the TV biz today that Rashida Jones (aka Karen Filippelli, presently of Utica, N.Y.) may star in the upcoming...
Photo: AFP
2. Fleet Foxes, "He Doesn't Know Why"
If you bought these harmonizing hippies' excellent new album on iTunes, the audio on this track was glitchy, so the band's helpful record label has made the MP3 available for free (luckily, they don't seem to mind if nefarious music pirates download it also). [Stereogum]
3. Sondre Lerche, New Song (live)
Our seventh-favorite Norwegian's melodies are getting better, even if his English isn't. [Music Slut]
4. Duchess of York, "21st Century Slave"
DOY are a band of teenagers from Virginia who make English-sounding, sixties-flavored R&B. God, kids are growing up so fast these days. [Fuel Friends]
5. Pharrell, Julian Casablancas, and Santogold, "My Drive Thru"
The most prominent Neptune, the least photogenic Stroke, and Santogold sell out to bring us this semi-catchy track, a promotion for Converse shoes. But, the question is, can Converse shoes still be considered hip now that they're endorsed by sellouts? [Busy Perros]
Emmanuelle Chriqui.Photo: Getty Images
• Aaron de Mey steps in as the artistic director for makeup at Lancôme, filling Gucci Westman’s vacated post. The big products the company will launch under his direction are the L’Absolu Rouge lipstick and a mascara that’s said to be “next generation” for fall. [WWD]
SKIN
• Fifty-three percent of women are concerned about undereye circles, which are caused by excess pigment. Getting rid of them is a bitch, as you probably know. Sephora stocks over 50 products to treat undereye circles; laser surgery is also an option, but plumpers are a more practical option. Oh, aging. [NYT]
• The tattoo-ink company Freedom2 plans to launch skin-care products like sunscreen and anti-aging gunk. [Cosmetics Design]
HAIR
• OMG. Amy Winehouse’s bouffant do is enormous! [Jezebel]
• We’re loving this play-by-play of what to expect during your first Brazilian wax and the commenters fighting about how long the wax lasts. The writer claims six weeks. We’ve never heard of that kind of prolonged hairlessness, but maybe it’s possible. [Bella Sugar]
• Hairstylist Horst Rechelbacher became an organic farmer after he left his career in salons because of health problems caused by product fumes. Now, he’s launching Intelligent Nutrients, a line of beauty products made — you guessed it — organically. [Chic Report/Fashion Week Daily]
FRAGRANCE
• In August, Paco Rabanne will launch 1 Million, a fragrance for men inspired by Rabanne’s fashion line. It’s going to smell like spicy rose, combining “sensuality and freshness.” [Now Smell This]
Photo: Courtesy of salon.com
Fox News has possibly revealed itself to be sexist, racist, and out of touch, all at the same time! The network has come under fire for referring to Michelle Obama as a “baby mama” during a segment in which anchor Megyn Kelly interviewed conservative pundit Michelle Malkin. The two were discussing a conservative group's planned anti-Obama documentary when a caption popped up on the screen reading: "Outraged liberals: Stop picking on Obama's baby mama!"
First of all, a network shouldn’t be allowed to have the word “News” in its title if it goes around saying things like “Obama’s Baby Mama!” This isn’t E!, guys. You’d never see Ryan Seacrest headlining a story about Lindsay Lohan’s Sapphic relationship with Samantha Ronson with “Lindsay’s Alliance With Member of the Female Persuasion Called Into Question, Pending Investigation.” These news networks need to stay on their side of the playground. But this is another blog post for another time.
The lamest part is that the network didn’t even use the slang correctly! The Obamas were married before their children were born, and a baby mama is supposed to be someone who is the mother of your baby but not your spouse. (This is beginning to remind us of the time we tried to explain to our mother what it means to "get your swerve on.")
Malkin points out that Michelle once referred to Obama as her “baby’s daddy” when he won his Senate seat, but the “she can say it, why can’t I say it?” excuse never really holds water, does it? There is a lot of slang out there which suddenly becomes inappropriate when co-opted by another group.
So was it a calculated move intended to demean Michelle Obama or just an ignorant and unfortunate use of rhyming? Fox News issued this statement today from Bill Shine, senior vice-president of programming for Fox News Channel: "A producer on the program exercised poor judgment in using this chyron during the segment."
It will be interesting to see how the Obama camp responds to this because Michelle can’t really get offended without potentially alienating the baby-mama contingent (a fairly large group considering almost 40 percent of all American children are born out of wedlock). “What’s wrong with being a ‘baby mama’?” they could ask. “What are you trying to imply?” And one would be wise not to mess with the baby mamas. They spend a lot of time disciplining children and can be most fierce. —Noelle Hancock
Fox News Calls Michelle Obama “Obama’s Baby Mama” [Salon]
U.K. Esquire asked eleven fashion designers to each re-create one of its covers from the sixties for its 75th-anniversary June issue. The lineup is impressive: Giorgio Armani, Donatella Versace, Karl Lagerfeld, and Vivienne Westwood all posed. Some stepped out of their comfort zones more than others for the pictorials, like Burberry's Christopher Bailey, who posed nose to nose with a hairy pig lying on the floor. And others, like Miuccia Prada, didn't even show their faces. We've ranked all eleven from our least to most favorite, taking into account the boldness, quirkiness, effort, and coolness reflected in each shot.
Left, Elbaz's self-portrait; right, Prada's leg.Photo: British Esquire
10. Miuccia Prada — Again, Miu, dahling, your fairy shoes make us want to forgo electricity in the heat wave to afford them. But the world wants to see your gorgeous face. It's as if you RSVP'd "Yes" to a party and only sent your shoes.
Left, Armani; right, Hilfiger.Photo: British Esquire
8. Tommy Hilfiger — Snaps to Tommy for dressing up, but this is all a bit heavy and serious for our taste. Just because he lives in New York (and, admittedly, has quite a powerful presence here), doesn't mean he needs to act like he rules New York. He's not Anna Wintour, after all.
Left, Dolce and Gabbana; right, Versace.Photo: British Esquire
6. Donatella Versace — You're probably wondering why we chose Donatella for this spot when it looks like she, as with Giorgio, really didn't put much into this. But this is probably the fairest skin tone we've ever seen on her, and it probably took some balls for her to go the angelic route.
Left, Lagerfeld; right, Smith.Photo: British Esquire
4. Sir Paul Smith — Smith is Photoshopped onto the edge of the soup can in this shot. Can you imagine how awkward posing for that would be? Way to be comfortable with your knighted self there, Mr. Smith.
Left, Baily; right, Westwood.Photo: British Esquire
2. Vivienne Westwood — The shot is simple, but Westwood really puts herself out there in it. By that we mean the wrinkles visible in her face remind us that some women today still grow old without having their faces sliced or pricked with needles. We really do look up to her.
Photo: British Esquire
Courtesy of Metacritic.com
But could the movie be so bad it actually defeats the laws of numerics? It seems so, as its current Metascore is 46 — this despite Metacritic cataloging only four reviews thus far, each scoring exactly 50.
Could it be that the movie's badness is somehow dragging its Metascore down even as the seemingly inarguable rules of medians and means attempt to keep it at 50? Could it be God's hand coming down from above, tugging at Night's Metascore as punishment for making Him sit through The Lady in the Water? Or could (spoiler ahead) the villain be…
Photo: iStockphoto
TREES?!?!?!?
The Happening [Metacritic]
Earlier: Early Review of M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘The Happening’ Suggests Scariest Film Villain of All Time
Robert Scarano, problem
architect.Photo: Brownstoner
Earlier: He Built This Borough, Badly [NYM]
Courtesy of DGC, Columbia
"Highway 61 Revisited is one of the first great anti-covers. Dylan looks burnt, shirt wrinkled — like he's waiting for catering at the gig or something. And somebody's just randomly walked in behind him. In an era of Patti Page-style, perfectly lit and posed covers, this cover was a defecation. And these days you'd rarely see such a throwaway picture on such an 'important' album."
Since his last two albums — both of which featured artfully overthought covers — weren't exactly his best work, let's hope this "throwaway defecation" bodes well for the accompanying music.
Beck: Modern Guilt [Nasty Little Man]
Beck chooses his 50 favourite all-time album covers [Vanity Fair via Stewoo.net]
Masha NovoselovaPhoto: Imaxtree
Related: Weiner: Bring on hotties from overseas
Lieu Nguyen's Spring Blossom (2007).Courtesy of Hanoi Studio Gallery
The first thing we are going to do is push Jenny over that wall.Photo: Courtesy CW
Gossip Girl Open Casting! [Guest of a Guest]
*And whatever scheming bitch blocked this in our e-mails (Coen) can just TRY to keep us away, okay? Because we will totally be there and you better not get too close because we might accidentally cut you, that's how sharp the pleats in our skirt will be.
Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III [Pitchfork]
How many horsemen? We lost count.Photos: Getty Images
It sounds crotchety, but in our adolescence, celebrity heroes were at least semi-skilled. Debbie Gibson had pipes, and though the New Kids on the Block were no Beatles 2.0, that "Hanging Tough" dance was hard. Even 'NSync had actual vocal talent to hang their matching jackets on, as evidenced by Justin's, J.C.'s, and even Joey's post-band achievements. The idea that you could be famous merely for wearing giant sunglasses and having boy problems was ludicrous. Now, Spencer and Heidi seem to exist only to have relationship woes, which Us Weekly lovingly chronicles as if they were gifted actors like Brad and Angelina. For every Miley Cyrus (and there are painfully few), there's an Audrina and a Tila Tequila, whose notoriety stems solely from getting naked on MySpace and then agreeing to ram her tongue down every available throat for the cameras. As for Richie, you'd never know she's an accomplished pianist, because her actual talent takes a backseat to her star-making Simple Life achievement of being less moronic than Paris Hilton — which even Tila Tequila could probably do.
We understand why MTV’s beloved teen demo loves real-people programming: It makes a glamorous life seem within easy reach, and hey, we love soapy shenanigans too. But ratings shouldn't beget role models; this latest spate of projects makes our old ideal of the stardom — that it's earned by being good at something — feel officially extinct. Reality stars with no talent have saturated the teen market to such an extent that the traditional teen idol is gasping for air (Miley Cyrus had to get caught up in a non-controversy with names as big as Annie Leibovitz and Vanity Fair just to get our attention, whereas Lauren just has to leave a note on Audrina's door and a nation is transfixed.) Jenner, in particular, has labored to get famous by doing nothing more than getting dressed, starring on a terrible short-lived series about his family before becoming L.C.'s ex-beau and Spencer's ex-bro. He can form a complete sentence, though, which is more than most Hills stars do, and we are hopeful his show and its “Hot Tub Eliminations” are a parody. Port, on the other hand, existed mostly as the girl who chewed on her pen before asking Lauren what happened last night, yet suddenly we're being asked to care that she's going bi — bi-coastal, that is — for People's Revolution and bonding with a manufactured posse of gal pals who are no doubt just as mentally aimless as their fearless leader.
The nail in the coffin is Richie's reported project: Girls who do nothing must prove they can become famous for doing nothing, and the winner "earns" her own show on which she will probably continue doing nothing. It’s like the universe is turning in on itself. Let's pray this is secretly a postmodern satire of the very phenomenon that made Richie herself a household name, because if we've arrived at a point where society's second-most famous ne'er-do-anything is unironically rewarding that quality in others, then we are speeding toward a very talentless and superficial, and annoying, future indeed. Better lock the doors and hunker down — in giant sunglasses, of course. Just in case. —The Fug Girls
For more of the Fug Girls' wit and wisdom, check out their complete archive.
Related: Whitney Gets 'Hills' Spinoff With Olivia Palermo!
Calm Down, Everyone: Miley's Just Following the Script
Fashion Wire Daily - Even if you can't make it to Bali next winter, picking up a few pieces from Nicole Miller's Resort 2009 collection, which she presented in New York on Wednesday, June 11, would be your next best option.
Astoria: Kaufman Astoria, one of the city's three biggest movie studios, will get even bigger with a redo starting this fall. Expect a compound with indoor and outdoor sets. Meanwhile, Silvercup Studios in Long Island City is expanding, too! [NYT via Queens Crap]
Clinton Hill: Parked cop cars are blocking the new bike lanes! Plus, Fort Greene Park already has off-leash hours, so it's unlikely it'll ever get a dog run, too. [Clinton Hill Blog]
East New York: The owner of a construction site here is facing manslaughter charges after a worker suffocated in dirt and debris from an unstable trench in March. The indictment may signal more construction-related prosecutions to come. [NYT via Brownstoner]
Riverdale: What was once the largest pool hall in the U.S., forced to shutter last year because of the smoking ban, will now be the new home of the booming World of Life Church. [NYS]
Upper West Side: It looks like that blogger who surreptitiously snaps shots of hot shirtless guys all summer is back in action, starting with these pics from the Great Lawn, newly restored with Disney funds. [Weblicist]
Williamsburg: A rash of random stabbings is terrorizing the south side of the hood, according to a local who doesn't "usually cry wolf (as much as I am a loud mouth, hypochondriac)." [Gowanus Lounge]
Grandmaster Flash in 1983.Photo: Chris Walter / Wireimage / Getty
The book kicks off with you as a kid desperate to get into your dad’s record collection. Can you talk about that time?
Oooweee. How can I explain it? My dad was highly feared, as you read in the book. He happened to be the brother to 1957 flyweight champion of the world Sandy Saddler, so he was really good with his hands. And he had some cardinal rules: Never go into the living room where the stereo is. Never touch the stereo. Never ever go into the closet where his prized possession, his records, were. Now I heard the rule, but I had this uncontrollable urge. So I would drag a chair to the closet because I was so little and the knob was kind of high. I would climb up and open up his closet. It was like gold or something. I would take out a record and put it on and just dance around the living room, and then I would try to put the record back in the same place where the record was originally living in the closet. But my father was very meticulous and he always knew it was me. So I got beat, beat, beat, and after he would beat me, next morning I’d get up, he’d get up, I’d hear him leave for work, and I’d do the same thing all over again. And it got the point that where he would beat me to almost where I was unconscious, but the next day it would be the same process. So what he would do then was take my hands and put them on a hot radiator to burn them, but of course they would heal and I would get over it and I would wait for that clink and the door slam and I would sort of go back to it again. I just had this uncontrollable urge.
Which eventually led to you coming up with a technique that’s pretty much paved the way for all the D.J.'s and turntablists to come. What did you feel like the first time you were able to make it work?
When I first did it, I called up Disco B and EZ Mike, and I was like, "Listen, I got something, I got something." And when they came down, they were like "What the fuck is this?" And I was like, "Watch what I’m doing, ya’ll, please watch what I’m doing." But they just could not grasp it. I went on to doing it in different parks. I figured if I was playing the hardest, best part of these different genres of music I would have people on the ceiling, but people were just like "What the fuck are you doing?" I went home and I cried, cried, cried, cried. Nobody got it! I tried to go to different clubs, get on for five or ten minutes, and I heard excuses like "My boss will fire me, I hear you ruin records, I can’t let you touch my stuff." It was just ridicule after ridicule after ridicule. I was a geek for a long time. [Laughs.]
Is it weird to go to the clubs now and see everybody using the technique that you pioneered like it’s no big thing?
It’s just that I was ridiculed for so long, and now you’ve got to do those same things in order to do any hip-hop D.J.-ing on this planet. And to watch people who expounded on my science and took it to a whole 'nother level — my heart beats really fast when I see it. D.J.'s are real artists now. Makes me feel kinda gooey inside.
There’s a sad chapter — the one called "Hell" — where you describe your battles with crack in the eighties.
Not crack. Base. Crack is a man-made drug. Base is actually the essence of a coca leaf. There’s a difference.
I’ve actually never done crack or base.
[Laughs.] Man, they’re both bad. But I would have rather been a basehead because with base, at least you get the essence of a coca leaf, which comes from the ground. Versus crack, which is man-made chemicals. It could be bleach, Tide, or whatever. I was never a crackhead. I was a basehead.
And that was better than being a crackhead?
Here’s what it is. You had to have money to be a basehead. And I’m not waving the flag like "Yay!" for it. It really was an awful habit, but you had to be able to have … in order to get cocaine down to base, you have to cook it in such a way and burn out any impurities that might be in what you’re sniffing to get it down to base. So let’s just say — and I’m gonna be pretty bad here — let’s say if it was a quarter in weight, by the time you purified it, it might be ten times less that. So you had to buy a whole lot of cocaine to base.
Wow.
Yeah. Base was a very expensive habit. I think you could buy crack for ten dollars. To base you had to easily spend five, six, seven hundred dollars, minimum.
Jeez!
Just to get somewhat of a decent high.
That’s insane.
Yeah, and I was insane too. Mind you.
You know there’s this whole new school of rapper, like Clipse and Young Jeezy who rap about coke — they all talk about selling coke, doing coke, whatever.
Oh my God.
What do you think about that?
Okay, so, there are MCs that talk about it. I can’t speak for another individual, but for some of the MCs that talk about it, if you haven’t experienced it, then you’re painting an inaccurate picture. Because today you can buy something that’s manufactured, that’s a combination of bleach and whatever it might be. That ain’t cocaine. Cocaine comes from Bolivia and it comes from a leaf and there’s a special process to it. Now I’m not saying that they didn’t do it that way, but the people that talk about it … I just sort of don’t know if it’s accurate. It doesn’t get more accurate than what I’m telling you in my book.
It must have been really hard to relive all that stuff.
At first when I was given the book deal, I thought I’d prefer to have a woman to extract this information from me. If I was going to be a crybaby — because I was a crybaby throughout this whole thing — I’d rather pour my heart out to a woman! And then my editor says, "I really have someone who is an expert at autobiographies, he’s done Ray Charles, Smokey Robinson and the Miracles, BB King … this person is way, way great.’" And it was David Ritz. And I’m like "David! That’s a guy!" And I fought her for a minute, but when I met him, he was the gentlest, most understanding guy you could imagine, and he opened up our meeting by saying, "Oh, the seventies were fucked up, man. I did cocaine, I fucked over so many people." He just opened up. I was like "Oh shit! He was an asshole just like me!" So I could really open up too. Some days I did a lot of crying and we had to stop, let two days go by, finish, stop tape, check, stop tape, check, record, stop, cry. But the end result is I’m very happy with the book. I’ve been burned, I’ve been taken advantage of, I’ve had some good times, I’ve had some bad times, but I let it go. It’s good now. Now it’s okay.
—Sara Cardace
One word: hot.Photo: Courtesy of Moss Networks
Photo: Courtesy of Moss Networks
Photo: Forbes.com
Klum adds the show won't be shot at Parsons, since they'll be in L.A. Now we understood only half of the show would be shot in L.A. But Klum makes it sound like every runway scene will be shot in L.A., which would be the entire season, no? "It will have a Hollywood flair," she says. Oh, gag. The last of the good ol' Projects starts on Bravo next month. We suggest you record it so you don't forget its glory days.
The Pretty Face: Heidi Klum [Forbes.com]
Related: Breaking: ‘Project Runway’ Moving to L.A.
Fashion Wire Daily - "The Love Guru" brought the crowds out to Grauman's Chinese Theater on Wednesday night, June 11, as Mike Myers premiered his latest comedy to the delight of a gaggle of fans.
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