"Seriously, dude, that's like half a private jet."Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

What would a glamorous event be without P. Diddy? After all, someone had to wear the white jacket to make onlookers ask, "Is that a famous person? Or part of the catering staff?" To his right Sharon Stone appears to have ventured out during the daytime. Perhaps her yacht ran out of the good bagels? Whatever mission she's on, her version of laid-back chic sure beats our pathetic attempt at it on hung-over Saturday mornings.Photo: Getty Images

On the left is model Doutzen Kroes playing it safe in a simple, chic royal-blue number. To her right Naomi Campbell in a lovely dress that makes her look nice and tall. Which makes her companion look nice and short. Photo: Getty Images

Natalie Portman looks great on the left. It's a good thing she's well ruffled; otherwise the red carpet would reduce her to a floating head. On the right French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld's effortlessly chic hair and killer belted Lanvin gown continue to make us want to be her.Photo: Getty Images

Eva Herzigova appears to have come from the beach in the fanciest bathing suit cover-up known to man. At least she's giving us some of that good ol' sexy Cannes flavor.Photo: Getty Images

On the left is French musician Francis Lalanne wearing well-heeled boots with his tux pants tucked in. He looks awesome, doesn't he? On the right is a glowing Angelina Jolie in a giant maternity gown. We bet if she held her arms in a "T" she'd look like a sand dollar.Photo: Getty Images

Lastly, our two least favorite outfits from Cannes, Round Two, worn by Giorgio Armani's niece Roberta Armani and Dita Von Teese. The pattern on Armani's dress reminds us of a shower curtain from a single man's condo in Florida. And that shade of green is not Dita's best color. Photo: Getty Images

Carrie's column is the elephant in the room for a reason — what if Big and Carrie had ever argued over how he was portrayed in her column? It's like wondering what Friends would have been like if Rachel had married that dentist — which is to say, probably nonexistent. And of all the credulity-straining things about SATC — you know, the 'how can she afford those shoes/that apartment?' factors — this is, to me, the most egregious. As I watched my 17th episode of the day, I HAD TO WONDER: How does Carrie constantly, publicly pontificate about her personal life and still manage to, you know, have one?

For those of you readers who are new to the whole Web 2.0 concept of self-driven content, we promise you: Some bloggers are able to write about things other than themselves. Seriously.

Article Excerpts: New York Times Magazine Exposes Readers to Blogger [NYO]
36 Straight Hours Of Sex (And The City): The First Two Seasons [Jezebel]

Cannes-gelina! Jolie's the Belle of Cannes

Lydia Hearst Has Gone From ‘It's Complicated’ to ‘Engaged’!

Photo: Facebook

Or, much more likely, it just means that Lydia has wised up to the fact that journalists are checking her Facebook page. You know, one or the other.

Earlier: Lydia Hearst Goes to War for Love

Karl Lagerfeld Can Really Cut a Rug

Anna and Karl. We're still deciding if we should envy her or hug her.Photo: Patrick McMullan, Getty Images

‘Where the Wild Things Are’ Screwed by ‘Speed Racer’?

Courtesy of Warner Bros.

Why all the panic on the part of the studio? EW speculates that Warner Bros. might be especially sensitive to floppy, expensive kids' movies thanks to their brutal experience with Speed Racer. If the Wachowski Brothers' seizure-inducing epic had not failed so badly, the thinking goes, Warner Bros. would be less inclined to rewrite and recut a children's movie that some claim terrifies actual children. (Naturally, a Warners source assures EW that isn't the case.) We still hope Spike Jonze's original version comes out, and moreover we hope it is terrifying to children — how great would it be if the movie's release were accompanied by the laying out of tarps in theaters, to remedy the epidemic of pants-wetting the ferocious Wild Things cause among the nation's youth?

'Wild Things' Update [Playlist]

Earlier: Hey Warners! Leave Spike Jonze and ‘Wild Things’ Alone!
We've Got Dave Eggers's and Spike Jonze's Script for ‘Where the Wild Things Are’

‘The Night They Raided Minsky’s,’ an LES Camp Classic

This campy 1968 ode to living la vida loca on the Lower East Side is such a spectacularly cartoonish misfire you can't miss it: Swedish bombshell (and former Bond girl) Britt Ekland plays the naïve and impressionable Amish dancer who is mesmerized by the bright lights of the city and determined to grasp that brass ring (or pole). She finds happiness in a downtown burlesque club, while hams Jason Robards, Elliott Gould, Norman Wisdom, and Bert Lahr manically shuck and jive.

Beckham Scents Nab FiFi Awards; British Men Skimp on Skin Care

Lusty!Photo: Courtesy of Coty

MAKEUP
• Artemis makes an eyelash curler that heats up like a curling iron. Does this scare yet oddly excite anyone else? [Beauty Snob]

• Sheer lip glosses makes lips more vulnerable to skin cancer because they increase light penetration to the lips. So make sure your kisser gets just as much SPF as your skin. [Kiss and Makeup]

• M.A.C is releasing a special limited-edition bluish lip color in California called California Dreamin’. Someone needs to put this on eBay, stat. [Specktra Beauty News]

HAIR
• Nick Arrojo, the What Not to Wear hairstylist of the Arrojo Studio salon, will release a book called Great Hair this fall. Sounds creative. [Teen Vogue]

NAILS
• China Glaze just released a new eight-piece set of hologram neon nail colors called INK inspired by tattoos. The $25 set comes with nail decals. We thought those were for children. [Makeup and Beauty Blog]

SKIN
• British men spend less than $5 a year on skin-care products. One bottle of our drugstore moisturizer costs more than that. [Bella Sugar]

Ivanka Trump on How to Spot a Frenemy

Photo: Getty Images

Ivanka the Wise offers three tips on how to spot a frenemy, which, as the hot daughter of a rich New Yorker, we have to assume is a subject she knows well. Therefore, we have put said tips into bullet form for easy reference for the common man.

• Never allow yourself to be used.
• Make sure not to surround yourself with people whose only interest is what you can do for them.
• Be generous with your friends but not in a way where they are living off of you. Another sign to watch for is insincerity. Watch the way they react and treat you, and then watch the way they react and treat people they probably consider not as important as you. Duplicity is a key sign of the frenemy.

Oh, Ivanka is totally the new Machiavelli. Clip and save, kids!

Not Just the Boss's Daughter [VF]

Beck Gets Conspiratorial

Photo: Getty Images

2. Usher feat. Jay-Z, "Best Thing"
Usher says that when his girl left, she took the "best thing" he had. Presumably it was his songwriting ability. [Sit Down Stand Up]

3. The National, "Without Permission" (Caroline Martin cover)
The National have a new movie out, and with it a new EP of B-side and rarities, including this morose cover. How does so much sad make us so happy? [Fuel Friends]

4. The Hold Steady, "Sequestered in Memphis"
The Hold Steady are in all kinds of legal trouble in the lyrics of this new track. We find them guilty of being consistently awesome. [Syndicate Blog]

5. Love Is All, "Darling Nikki" (Prince cover)
Swedish indie poppers Love Is All have a new covers EP coming out, and if this Prince cover is any indication, it should be pretty good, although love isn't all Nikki was doing behind that magazine. [Stereogum]
—Ehren Gresehover

‘Umbrella’ Watch 2008: Is Leona Lewis’s ‘Bleeding Love’ the Song of the Summer?

Leona Lewis, "Bleeding Love"
Any reasonable, objective evaluation of this year's hopefuls would have to find Lewis's "Bleeding Love" among the front-runners: It's simple, immediately catchy, and already a radio hit despite the fact that its hook uses knife violence and life-ending blood loss as a metaphor for falling in love. Lewis is a former winner of Simon Cowell's British show The X Factor and, as such, has the combined weight of her record label, Sony BMG, and the American Idol machine behind her. It's a top-ten hit in pretty much all civilized countries and already spawned a number of ironic indie-rock cover versions. Unless somebody writes an even catchier track about being ax-murdered, our money's on Lewis this summer.

Steven Tyler Walks His Way Into Rehab?

Audrina Patridge Gone Wild? Not So Fast

Backstreet Guy Headed to Prison

Follow the Arrows of Light to the Brooklyn Bridge (or, Um, Get Lost and Mugged)

Photo: McBrooklyn

Flatiron: Dutch rock-star architect Rem Koolhaas (the Prada store!) is moving his office here and designing a condo tower with "zigzag units" on Madison Square Park. [Curbed]
Manhattan Beach: If you go to Kingsborough Community College way out here in Brooklyn, you will have your own beach! But if you go for a dip during the school year, you'll get in trouble. [NYT]
Randalls Island: A judge says that the city can continue building ball fields here, though she previously nixed the deal in which a bunch of private schools would pay for the work to gain prime access to the fields. So now, to quote Curbed, "Who's paying? Unclear." [Curbed]
Prospect Heights: Developer Bruce Ratner is looking for a tenant to rename Miss Brooklyn now that the Gehry-designed centerpiece of the Atlantic Yards project has been shrunk back and redesigned. Guess that working title "B1" isn't lyrical enough. [No Land Grab]

Meet the New Guy: Jon Kortajarena

Photo: Getty Images

Model profile: Jon Kortajarena

For more sexy shots of fashion’s faces, check out our comprehensive Model Manual.

Snipes has June 3 prison date, seeks bail

Russian Pair Paint Sunday in the Park With Giraffe, Parrot, and Catherine Zeta-Jones

Dubossarsky & Vinogradov’s Summer Bubbles (2008)Courtesy of Deitch Projects

New ‘Gossip Girl’ Blog Discovers Lost Artifacts of Brilliance

Photo: all the sad young gossip girls

*Apologies to Jessica's straight husband for that, by the way. To Chris's gay roommates, you know you eat that shit up.

Fellini’s Diary Sketches Feed ‘The Book of Dreams’

Rizzoli’s latest large-format treasure, filled with colorful, comic, brilliantly reproduced sketches from Fellini’s copious diaries, will be recognizable to anyone familiar with the director’s work. There’s a preponderance, for example, of curvaceous woman, but there’s also something childlike in certain of the depictions. It sounds like a cliché, but the book really is a window into Fellini’s madcap mind, and it’s as strange and amusing a place as we would’ve guessed it to be.

Marc Jacobs: Starting at Louis Vuitton Was Paralyzing

Photo: WireImage

On designing his first ready-to-wear collection as the newly appointed creative director of Louis Vuitton in 1997:

"This Vuitton thing was scary … Suddenly you're on the Paris stage, with this huge name. I felt so paralyzed by it. That first collection was a no-win situation. I thought, if I give them what they expect, they'll be disappointed because they wanted to be surprised. If I give them a surprise, they'll be disappointed because it wasn't what they were expecting."

On the difficulties of getting his spring 2001 Stephen Sprouse monogram collection for Louis Vuitton produced:

"I don't understand corporate people — I always say the design team's on the second floor and the corporate people are on the fifth floor, and it might as well be the distance between here and Mars … The press reaction to all that graffiti was so amazing … [but] they bitched and moaned, [saying] 'we're not going to do it'. I just couldn't believe it … at the time, that's how narrow-minded they were … [but] $300 million later, they think it's a good idea!"

On hiring Tom Ford to design denim for Perry Ellis when Jacobs headed the label:

"Tom was a different person then … Tom was this very, very sort of haughty, tasteful person, very Waspy … or that's what he was affecting at that moment. I thought it would be great to do a jean line with someone who has a very sophisticated mind."

On what fashion really is all about:

"When I trust my own whims, and the whims of people I trust, I feel that has credibility … Belief is embedded in everything you do — so it doesn't actually matter whether people like it. I guess what we do, as a team, is a daily, weekly, monthly re-evaluation of whims."

The quote that will make you say "word":

"I can't bear it when designers go on about inspiration … If a girl wants to wear it and feels good then who cares?"

Marc on … Louis Vuitton [British Vogue]
MARC JACOBS INTERVIEW [SHOWstudio]
Fashion Scoops: Marc At Saint Martins [WWD]

Letters From Cannes: A.O. Scott Having Fun, Manohla Dargis Not So Much

Left: Manohla Dargis after watching Changeling; Right: A.O. Scott enjoying Two Lovers.
Left: Changeling. Right: Two Lovers.
Left: The Exchange. Right: Two Lovers.Courtesy of Cannes Film Festival

She's sounded so cranky about her Cannes experience so far, in fact, that Universal probably wishes she'd just skipped it, the way she (reportedly!) skipped James Gray's Two Lovers.

"I'm not going to wait an hour for fucking James Gray," a "major U.S. film critic" snapped before storming away from a screening, and Defamer fingers the critic in question as Dargis. A.O. Scott saw it, though, and — despite the "groans and sneers" he heard from other critics — kinda liked it! In fact, Scott seems to be having a fine time at Cannes. "It occurred to me," he writes, "that I had not seen an English-language film in four days. Not a long time, but in those 96 hours I had watched 12 movies. What’s more, of the 20 or so I had seen since the festival started last Wednesday, only one had come from the United States." As summer movie season approaches, going to Cannes must be a nice treat for American movie critics, a little taste of a few decent movies before they have to come home and review a bunch of crap. Speaking as a writer who just got a press invitation to You Don't Mess With the Zohan, we sure wish we were in Cannes right now. At least we could be watching the Macaulay Culkin sex movie!

Cannes Journal [NYT]
Directors' Strut [NYP]
Cannes: The Farewell [NYP]
Today in Cannes Hell: Gwyneth Paltrow's Breast, Critic Riots and a Word with Charlie Kaufman [Defamer]

Cannes Market Watch: Sex and Breakfast [SpoutBlog]

The Festival palace during the 61st Cannes International Film Festival

'Sex and the City' Made Me Have Sex at 14

Obama’s Problem With Working-Class Whites: Not As Bad As You Think!

Photo: Getty Images

Why are we spending so much time on these particular white folks? For one thing, the Clinton campaign has zeroed in on them as Hillary’s last chance to wrest the nomination. But that’s mostly a function of the primary calendar. If Massachusetts and Rhode Island had voted in May, we would have heard about Obama’s weakness among seniors and Catholics for the past couple of months. And in fact, he has real problems among other groups: women, many of whom aren’t taking kindly to suggestions that Clinton bow out; Latinos, who he has flopped with most places outside of Illinois; and small-towners, who rejected in him by large margins in Texas and Pennsylvania.

Part of the obsession stems from Democratic leaders, who still like to regard themselves as heirs of Jefferson, Jackson, and FDR, tribunes of the little guy. In reality, Washington Democrats today care much more about abortion rights than, say, bankruptcy reform. But their self-image requires talking about working-class voters as though they're still at the center of the Democratic coalition — in election years, anyway.

But most of all, working-class whites have assumed center stage because of the media. Many of today’s veteran political reporters forged their careers in the late sixties and early seventies, when the Democratic Party split wide open, and have been on alert for a similar crackup ever since. And many of today’s talking heads no longer experience journalism as a working-class craft, and crave the authenticity of the hard hat. As a result, both groups have tended to mistake the clarity of the divisions in this year’s Democratic race for deep animosity.

Finally, reporters and analysts are talking about “working-class whites” because in a bizarre twist of political correctness, they don’t want to say “white racists.” A good chunk of voters themselves have been willing to admit that race has played a role in their decisions, and there’s no question that Clinton has benefited from their support in recent primaries. Last night, for example, 21 percent of Kentucky voters said race mattered to them, and 81 percent of that group cast ballots for Hillary. But for the most part, the media have used euphemisms to report news about race — when it comes to white people. (Favorite recent headline, from ABC News: “White Working-Class vs. Change in Indiana; Blacks Lift Obama to N.C. Victory.”)

Conflating racists and the white working class makes for bad campaign coverage. And it’s no favor to white voters, either. Blue-collars have plenty of reasons to prefer Clinton to Obama, beginning with the fact that many of them saw their incomes rise while her husband was president. But white working-class voters actually fall into two cohorts who behave quite differently. Southerners have abandoned the Democratic Party in droves in recent years, especially at the presidential level. (Here's a PDF of a study that helped establish exactly that.) Northern working-class whites, on the other hand, have remained pretty loyal to the Democrats.

This split is likely to grow even more pronounced in 2008. For cultural as well as racial reasons, working-class whites across Appalachia and southward have viewed Obama, the most exotic Democratic nominee ever, with extreme suspicion. But in the Northeast and northern Midwest — assuming Obama hits a partisan Democratic message — they will probably vote along economic lines and remain in the Democratic tent. Sure, industrial-state white voters have voted for Clinton in the primaries. But there’s no reason to think that McCain rather than Obama is their second choice. Obama now trails McCain among working-class white voters by seven points nationwide — the same margin as Hillary, and much better than the 16 points John Kerry lost by in 2004 and the 23 points Al Gore lost by in 2000.

Bottom line: Obama isn’t likely to get NASCAR dads, no matter what he does, but he is likely to get Joe Sixpacks, whatever he does. —Peter Keating

Vulture Reviews the ‘American Idol’ Finalists’ Future Albums

Courtesy of Fox

Photo illustration: Geffen, Getty Images

Cook's snarling, nu-metal version of Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" is predictably incendiary, as is his plaintive, mournful cover of USA For Africa's "We Are the World." Still, we can't help but feel that something about "Don't Worry, Be Happy" gets lost when it's interpolated with Alice in Chains' "Rain When I Die." A mixed bag.

Photo illustration: Getty Images

Idol Threat opens with a glorious, angelic version of "How Great Thou Art," enhanced by strings, horns, timpani, synthesizers, a church organ, and harp (all virtuosically played by Archuleta, according to the album's liner notes). Next up, though, is his Mannie Fresh–produced club single, "M.O.N.E.Y. (I Get It)" — already a mix-tape favorite — in which he spits about his humble beginnings as a street-hustling gangbanger growing up in Murray, Utah. It's truly a shame that American Idol's seventh season was never able to feature the music of Young Jeezy, if only because it would've given Archuleta the opportunity to showcase his slow, guttural flow and little-heard raspy baritone. His rhymes are also quite impressive, though, sadly, they're all much too filthy to print here.

The album closes with the heartrending piano ballad "Manhattan Yellow Pages," a track that makes good on Randy Jackson's repeated assurances that Archueta would sound terrific singing the phone book. Céline Dion and Andrea Bocelli join him for the verse about "home gutter repair," but Archuleta capably out-sings them both, naturally. Is there anything he can't do? The answer, clearly, is no.

How Will Ferrell Predicted the Diorphone

The Diorphone and it's mini-companion.Photo: Courtesy of Dior

Dior Brings Luxury to the Cell Phone [WWD]
$5,000 Dior phone: so upscale it doesn't require specs [endgadget]

Benicio Del Toro

Penelope Cruz

Fernando Meirelles

An unidentified official takes a picture of the damage on the roof of the Berlin Philharmonic

Gwyneth Paltrow

Vinessa Shaw (L) and Gwyneth Paltrow

Lou Pearlman Sentenced to 25 Years in Prison

Photo: Getty Images

Related: Boy-Band Bust [NYM]

Chloë Sevigney's Next Project: Unisex Menswear

Photo: WireImage

"Not only did I want to do something for the guys in my life, but a lot of my girlfriends prefer to wear men's stuff," Sevigny told us, adding that girl versions won't have different tailoring; they will just come in smaller sizes. "I think what they like about men's clothes is the fit. So I don't want to change that. It'll be a new challenge."

Don't we call that unisex nowadays? So very quirky-Chloë of her! But boyfriend jackets are in for fall so maybe she's more style-savvy than her last collection would indicate. However, this begs the question: Will she account for lovely lady humps like breasts and hips? Loose-fitting jackets and pants might be in, but puckering most definitely is not.

Chloe does it for the boys [Style via Haute Concept]
Related: Chloë Sevigny Doesn't Want to Call Herself an Eco-Nazi, But...

Video Sneak Peak at Naomi Campbell's ‘Ugly Betty’ Cameo

Don't call Naomi a supermodel [Fashionologie]

Stars' Tricks to Grab Cannes Spotlight

Archuleta delivers 'Idol' knockout, judge says

Rock bands: Reunite!

'Vile' Sex Tape Aired For R. Kelly Jurors

Actor Sues 'Dog the Bounty Hunter' Producers