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Photo: Getty Images
Officials close to Paterson said they believe he will emerge from episode, but won't be sure until test results are know.
He may not "emerge from episode"? "Won't be sure until test results are know"? That sounds bad. Like, forgetting how to write in English bad!
GOV. PATERSON IN HOSPITAL WITH MIGRAINE [NYP]
EVENTS
• The Annual Fragrance Foundation FiFi Awards, the Oscars of fragrances, start tonight at 8 p.m. at the Park Avenue Armory (at 67th St.). Red carpet arrivals start at 6 p.m., and Vera Wang will receive the Hall of Fame Award.
• Meet designer Ralph Rucci as he showcases the fall 2008 Chado Ralph Rucci collection today at Saks. Saks Fifth Avenue, 611 Fifth Ave., nr. 49th St., third fl. (212-753-4000); 2–4.
• The Ricardo Rojas salon opens today at the Hotel on Rivington. Rojas has styled looks for Allure, Vogue, and W, and many celebrities. The salon will have oxygen facials, in-room makeup application, manicures, pedicures, and of course, hairstyling. Haircut prices start at $150, and Ricardo is available by appointment only, starting at $500. 107 Rivington St., nr. Ludlow St. (212-564-4949); Mon.–Fri. (8–8), Sat.–Sun. (8–1).
SALES
STARTING TODAY
• The great underwear-as-outerwear pieces are 50 to 75 percent off retail at the VPL sale this week. Through 5/22. 39 W. 38th St., nr. Fifth Ave., sixth fl. (212-391-4252); Tues.–Thurs. (10–7).
• The signature rectangular women’s and men’s eyewear from Alain Mikli International normally retails for $200 to $700 but is on sale for $45 to $95 at this sample sale. Through 5/23. 264 W. 40th St., nr. Seventh Ave.; Tues.–Thurs. (9–5:45), Fri. (9–5).
• Children’s clothes from the Ollypop brands like Mim-Pi, Cakewalk, Molo, Me Too, and more are 40 to 80 percent off. Through 5/22. 241 W. 37th St., nr. Seventh Ave., Ste. 1003, tenth fl.; Tues.–Thurs. (10–5).
• Citizens of Humanity, Paul & Joe, and C&C brands are all discounted at the Simon Showroom. Cash only. Through 5/22. 95 Fifth Ave., at 17th St., third fl. (no phone); Tues.–Thurs. (10–7).
ENDING TODAY
• Bag your beachwear with the spring sample sale at Salon 9 Showroom. Swimwear from Zimmerman, Brette Sandler, Red Carter, and Birdie Jo are 65 to 80 percent off. 241 W. 37th St., nr. Seventh Ave. (212-754-1400); Fri., Mon., and Tues. (11–8).
STARTING TOMORROW
• Sari Gueron’s collection is marked down significantly for two days only. Check out a dress for $175 (originally $895) or a shirtdress for $125 (originally $650). 133 W. 25th St., nr. Sixth Ave., fourth fl. (212-792-2258); Wed.–Thurs. (12–7).
• Stop by the Lower East Side boutique Suite Orchard for 75 percent off certain stock from Cacharel, Sonia by Sonia Rykiel, Loeffler Randall, Sue Stemp, and more. Plus, they’ll even mark down prices from their own Soni & Cindy line. Through 5/22. 134 Spring St., nr. Greene St., Ste. 301; Tues.–Wed. (10–7), Thurs. (10–5).
• Find Fornarina racer-back jumpers, tanks, and pumps for up to 75 percent off retail prices. Through 5/22. 134 Spring St., nr. Greene St., Ste. 301 (212-219-9077); Tues.–Wed. (10–7), Thurs. (10–5).
• Heikiejarick sportswear and dress are an additional 30 percent off wholesale prices. Skirts are $30, pants are $40, and a bargain bin will offer tops and leggings at $20 each. Through 5/31. 262 W. 38th St., nr. Seventh Ave., Ste. 503, fifth fl. (212-764-0878); Mon.–Sat. (10–7), Sun. (closed).
• The spring and summer pants, tops, and coats from Tevrow+Chase are 60 to 70 percent off at their sale this week. Through 5/22. 416 W. 13th St., nr. Ninth Ave., Ste. 313 (212-929-1810); Tues.–Thurs. (10-5–30).
• Beryll sunglasses, Chris & Tibor quilted leather bags, and baby gear from Paradis Blanc are all on sale Wednesday at Via Maris NYC. One day only. 201 Park Ave., at 17th St., Studio 2; Wed. (10–8).
ENDING TOMORROW
• R.J. Graziano’s dizzying assortment of fashion jewelry is 60 percent off. 389 Fifth Ave., nr. 36th St., third fl. (212-685-3737); Mon.–Wed. (11–5:30).
Photo Courtesy CW
The bitch having been ditched cleanly and efficiently (until the next ratings slump, duh), the episode spends the rest of its merry, overexpensive time luxuriating in the murderous melodrama that defines a high-school breakup — and the casual cruelty that comes with a fourth marriage. Onward, then, to our weekly tally of what was real, not real, and every little bit of Vera Wang taffeta in between.
Faker Than Tears That Didn’t Smudge Serena’s Eye Makeup
• The opening card of the show, which is normally a flash of the Gossip Girl Website, has a picture of Dan and Georgina and the caption "That isn't Serena!" Um … THERE WAS NO ONE AROUND TO TAKE THAT PICTURE. Seriously, this is beginning to be scary. What, is Gossip Girl one of the leftover characters from The Sixth Sense? Wait, that would actually explain a lot. Minus 2. (Also, since when does Gossip Girl not call her "S"? We'd subtract for that, too, but we're just glad the site finally recognized that crazy-ass Georgina was back in town. Better late than never!)
• That Serena, after being taunted by Georgina, spent all night walking around in massive high heels, calling her very-probably-totally-cheating boyfriend every five minutes, waits until like seven in the morning to do the elementary step of going over to his house is totally unrealistic. Any hormonally charged teenage girl out of her right mind would have been climbing through Dan’s loft’s window faster than you can say Fatal Attraction. Minus 4 Plus, she looks like a hobgoblin. Even she would know to clean up before a pop in. Minus 1.
• Why is Nate so obviously wearing makeup and gobs of hair goo while jogging in the park with his dad? Minus 2.
• Serena does that annoying TV thing where she doesn’t bother to clear up the fact that in the last episode, she told Dan she cheated on him with the two guys she left 1Oak with. Oops! Minus 2, because it looks kinda bad when you get caught “forgetting” about lies you told. (We'd subtract more, but they addressed this later in the episode. And Dan's reaction is to say, "It's a lot," which is actually an expression that we use. And we're real people! With the minds of high schoolers!)
• Georgina is thrilled to meet Dan in the park after their night of passion, and she shows it. “So I think we should be together forever,” she says happily, grabbing his hand. Okay, Georgina may be psycho, but she’s smart enough to know that is psycho. Minus 2
• Bart takes Lily down to Tribeca to talk to her about their relationship. In real-estate metaphors? Minus 3, because not even Jared Kushner would do that to Ivanka Trump. (Though he is welcome to do that with us, especially if he uses terms like "bulldozer" and "giant swinging crane.") Also, Minus 2 for the choice of building: 105 Chambers Street. It's the real-life office building of the New York Sun, and the pretend office building of the newspaper at the end of The Devil Wears Prada. But Bart is an Observer man!
• Why does Eric look so sad at the wedding? The sun is shining, and he has a lovely floral bow-tie and everyone knows he’s a gay now. Is he seriously still pining for Asher? Minus 1
• Wait a minute. Maybe it’s because Grandma Cece was missing. Seriously, where was she? One fake cancer scare is enough to get you disinvited from your daughter's wedding nowadays? Minus 2
• Rufus uses the phrase "An historic moment." Minus 2, because previous to this moment, the show's writers have given us no indication that he is that kind of douche bag.
• Rufus isn't mad that Dan skipped his concert? And Dan isn't weirded out that Rufus didn't sleep at home last night? Even pretend perfect families have awkwardness — it's like how pretty girls fart. Minus 2.
• Minus 2 for Nate’s dad deciding that the best possible time skip town is in the middle of a big, public society wedding. Like no one would notice. Minus 1 also, because even now that the Captain's sober he shouldn't be stupid enough to hand over a wad of cash to a greasy slickster in the middle of the day in front of a wedding attended by Eliot Spitzer.
• AND: Nobody nicknamed "The Captain" would go down like a sack of potatoes every time he got bitch-slapped by his gay son. Minus 2.
• At Lily and Bart’s wedding, Vanessa tells Blair to deal with the fact that she’s seated at a “singles' table.” Since when do people put high-school kids at 'singles tables'? Minus 1
• Jenny is nervous about her internship, even though the letter came in the big envelope, which everybody knows is good news. Minus 1, with another Minus 2 for the fact that she's with Allison in Brooklyn while Rufus is on tour. Divorced parents can't do the whole house trading thing, even if it makes sense in theory.
• There are too many things we don't see in this episode. Like the actual wedding? Nate and Vanessa breaking up? Come on, this is why it should have been a two-hour season finale. Not because, um, we are freaking the fuck out that we won't be able to see the show for an entire summer. Minus 3.
Total: 34 unreality points.
Truer Than “Bitches Don’t Just Happen. Bitches Are Made.”
• Ironically, the senseless, overly muddled events and misunderstandings that lead to the over-the-top, utterly melodramatic breakup of Serena and Dan, and the breakup itself is probably the most realistic portrait of teenage life that Gossip Girl has shown us yet, probably because the medium suits the subject so well. Teenage breakups are like television dramas, more than anything else in real life is. They’re dramatic, because the participants actually believe that this is their one shot at true love, and yet their passion renders them totally inarticulate: They say stupid things out of pride, they sob and slam doors and walk away dramatically without just listening, or in Dan’s case thinking, “Hey, this is a pretty unique situation, it’s probably not likely that Serena will ever be in a situation again where she thinks she’s killed someone and is being tormented by a psycho pretending to be somebody else.” But other than that, everything about Serena and Dan’s horrible breakup is dead-on, from the defensive, dickish tone in Dan’s voice when he first answers the door to Serena to their last maudlin canoodle on the dance floor at Lily’s wedding. Plus 2 for Serena's trying to pretend not to know that Dan spent the night visiting the darkest, dankest parts of Skanktown. Plus 8 for the fact that Dan offers an awkward, horrifyingly evocative confession of said visit for the purposes of clearing his own conscience: “I didn’t sleep with her. But I may as well have.” Plus 2 for the fact that that totally means oral. Plus 3 for the fact that even after that Serena thinks they could fix things, and Plus 5 for the actual breakup conversation, in which Dan for the first time in the history of Gossip Girl sounded like a regular teenage boy:
Serena: So that’s it then? ‘Have a good summer, I’ll see you back at school?’
Dan I guess.
Awesome.
• YESSSSS RUFUS AND LILY YESSSSSSS! Plus 10.
• And Rufus looks just like that greasy hipster one-night stand you had over this weekend! Plus 2.
• Georgina sold her horse for cocaine? What? Where do you even go to make that kind of transaction? Eh, who cares, it's totally awesome. Plus 1. An additional Plus 1 for the look on Georgina's face when she hears Blair's voice behind her, and Plus 2 for the bodyguard in the suit that is not-so-subtly lurking behind Georgi in case she bolts and tries to sell Dan for cocaine. And Plus 1 for ,“At least I lasted longer than Lohan!"
• Plus two for Dan finally making fun of Nate’s “man bangs, and Blair letting slip that Chuck wears his scarf during sex.”
• “I guess that Luscious Jackson gig didn't work out,” Rufus says when he gets the call asking Linkin Hawk to come on tour. Plus 1 for name-checking a band best known from the Lollapalooza ’94 tour. God, we’re old.
• Finally! Everyone is caught wearing a terrible outfit. At the wedding all of the girls look horrendous, trussed up in bright, arm-fat revealing sacks. Which, let's be honest, happens all the time. Plus 2. (Except Lily, of course, whose arms look incredibly skinny and whose boobs look incredibly huge. Plus 2.) And an additional Plus 2 for Serena slouching down the aisle looking like an extra from Moulin Rouge, boobs akimbo in a halter dress accessorized with black gloves and a trashy patent-leather belt.
• "You think this will be us in twenty years, onto our fourth husbands?" Blair asks Serena. Plus 3 because, yes, duh.
• Those orchid centerpieces are lovely. Plus 2.
• Dan says, "I am the most understanding person." DAN IS THE LEAST UNDERSTANDING PERSON IN THE WORLD. But it's so true he would think he was the most. Plus 3.
• Chuck calls Vanessa "Punky Brewster." For some reason, we think this is for us. Plus 3.
• Plus 4 for the fact that everyone at the end ends up with a completely different person: Serena with Nate, Dan with Vanessa, Blair and Random Guy, Chuck and LYDIA HEARST who we will never be able to think of as "Amelia" or LYDIA HEARST. Even though it bums us out for Blair, it also makes sense that it would take Chuck exactly one week before becoming a twat again. These are teenagers after all! Their loyalties shift, and their loins flare, at the merest breeze.
Total: 62 reality points.
So this episode ended up 28 points in the black. But you know what? It just was not that great. It lacked the energy and spit that made a lot of the recent ones so awesome. When Georgina left, the stakes for everyone else seemed a lot lower. Sure, most things were resolved in time for the summer break, but the Fourth of July is coming! We wanted fireworks! Why were Rufus and Lily so happy to be apart? Why did Jenny think it was kind of funny that she was going to work for Eleanor? Why were Nate and Serena so blasé about the fact that they are already eyeing one another? All of this could have been more drama-filled. There need to be some big things in the fall.
Then again, they did successfully avoid the whole incest question. And we did find ourselves shouting out, "I'm Chuck Bass" at the very end of the episode, just before Chuck himself said it to Lydia Hearst. So yeah, we're still in love. Not "Gossip Girl can narrate our wedding" in love, but at least "Vanessa is still pining for Dan" in love. You know.
Oh, P.S.: The “XOXO” was in the painting in the background when Blair and Dan are calling Georgina. Just sayin'.
Photo: Getty Images
Stage Mother: Katie Holmes will take a break from debuting new haircuts this fall to appear on Broadway with Dianne Wiest and John Lithgow in Arthur Miller's All My Sons. This will sadly cause yet another delay in the production of First Daughter 2: Lame Duck Dad. [Variety]
By the Numbers: John Cusack, who previously explored four-digit numbers in 1408, has signed on to 2012, an end-of-days epic to be directed by Roland Emmerich, last seen heading up 10,000 BC — that's five digits, which is why he's the director. In other number-related news, this movie will win zero Oscars. [Variety]
Revolt-ing: Steve Buscemi and Ray Liotta are among those who will appear with Michael Cera in Youth In Revolt, adapted from the C.D. Payne novel, in which Cera plays a kid who ruins a family vacation chasing after a girl. Liotta will play Cera's mom's cop boyfriend, and Buscemi will play Cera's dad, who, we're just guessing, is an unusual-looking, hyper sort of fellow who meets his end by being fed feet-last into a wood chipper. Look, it's a powerful mental image. [Variety]
Tatum Dear to Hallstrom: Lasse Hallstrom will direct Dear John, a Nicholas Sparks adaptation that will probably — like The Notebook and A Walk to Remember before it — make even the most romantic swooner become a cynical bastard out of spite. Channing Tatum, fresh off his turn as a soldier in Stop-Loss and soon to appear in G.I. Joe, isn't straying far — this time, the soldier falls for a college student while home on leave. [Variety]
[WWD]
On the bright side, this will be a huge, huge money night for cat-sitters.
[Times]
(Photo via EveryStockPhoto)
Britney Spears is back in the Pacific Time Zone.
The popster touched down Monday night at Bob Hope Airport in Burbank after a long weekend of fun in the sun at Mel Gibson's beachside...
Photo: Courtesy of CW
JPRESS: You're so right. He's going to come rushing up the aisle.
JPRESS: I guess the apartment at the Palace is really big. Dan and Serena could pretend they were not living together.
JPRESS: Oh wait.
JPRESS: They wouldn't even live at the Palace. They would live in Brooklyn. And you can't avoid people in Brooklyn. I should know, I have the same doctor as Emily Gould.
CHRISTAL: I think they will inevitably break up.
CHRISTAL: Dan is going to go to Dartmouth, and Serena is going to go to U of F, where she belongs.
JPRESS: And they'd never do a long-distance relationship.
CHRISTAL: Well, Dan would.
JPRESS: But not Serena. She's the girl that's going to earn the nickname "Chinese Finger Trap" the first week of freshman year and not shake it off for the rest of college.
CHRISTAL: They are a terrible couple in terms of TV longevity.
CHRISTAL: They have zero in common.
CHRISTAL: But maybe
CHRISTAL: Maybe being in the same family would ADD to their relationship.
JPRESS: They'd have more in common!
JPRESS: They could bond over hatred of their parents and stuff like that. "Rufus is so annoying when he plays air guitar. Let's make out."
CHRISTAL: Totally.
JPRESS: I guess if they stayed together it wouldn't be that bad. It's not like their babies would have scales or a tail or whatever, if they had an accidental season-two pregnancy. Since they aren't ACTUALLY related.
CHRISTAL: I wonder if the baby would come out with hair extensions?
JPRESS: Definitely. And a chip on its shoulder.
JPRESS: So, are we ultimately concluding that it's okay for Serena and Dan to date if their parents are together?
JPRESS: I think we should. Fuck all those To Catch a Predator–watching moralists.
CHRISTAL: I think they should get it on.
JPRESS: This is some serious V.C. Andrews shit.
JPRESS: Generations of Humphrey Van Der Woodsens.
CHRISTAL: I prefer to think of it as Faulknerian.
CHRISTAL: Blood is thicker than water.
CHRISTAL: Isn't it weird that in that expression, "water" really means "semen"?
CHRISTAL: I've always been put off by that.
JPRESS: It DOES?
CHRISTAL: Actually, I don't know. I've never understood that expression.
This probably wasn't the kind of service Pete Wentz had in mind a week before his wedding.
The newlywed rocker was served May 10 with a lawsuit filed last month by an allegedly...
Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman have something else in common.
Tom Cruise's current better half will be taking Broadway by storm this fall in a revival of Arthur Miller's All My...
We know the carpooling part won't be a stretch for Adrian Grenier.
The Entourage star has found three new friends and they're going to show the rest of us how to reduce our carbon...
She's too pretty to be a talented musician!Photo: WireImage
And she's no damsel in distress. Normally we're allergic to anything with "class." But we kind of appreciate that Johansson does not display her junk in public — it's cute, in a quaint sort of way. And while she's not one of our favorite actresses, she has created a remarkable career for herself. It's not just that she has good taste or a great agent. It's her sensibility, which splits the difference between pop and art without sacrificing either one, that sets her apart from, say, Lindsay Lohan. She knows the power of Woody Allen's worshipful camera for an actress. And it's not just whom she works with — Allen, Sofia Coppola, Bill Murray — but the parts she picks. Her definitive role, in Lost in Translation, made a strength of her weakness, which is her opaqueness, that air of inaccessibility. David Edelstein glimpsed something similar in her most recent movie, The Other Boleyn Girl: "Scarlett Johansson is the revelation … With no evident strain, with almost everything internalized, Johansson keeps her head and makes you understand why Mary [Boylen] kept hers."
It is those instincts and independence of spirit that she called upon in making Anywhere I Lay My Head, and it is her reserved, easy way that redefines the music. It is very much her project. First, she chose to cover Tom Waits, picking great but not obvious songs. Then she brought on the avant-garde Sitek — who we always assumed was some arrogant hipster but turned out to be a sensitive, creative musical partner (who is probably arrogant) — and let him follow his vision. Which, it just so happens, is inseparable from her voice. Deep, tentative, and not always on point, it falls back not at all on the legendary Tom Waits croak. But like his voice, it is memorably idiosyncratic. For a gorgeous Hollywood actress who trades more on her respectable image than her lukewarm notices, taking on the songbook of a gnarled cult figure is a ballsy move. The problem is, a gorgeous Hollywood actress is not supposed to have balls. And she's not supposed to be capable of making a great album like this one. —Nick Catucci
Related: Confirmed: Scarlett Johansson Makes Best-Ever Album by an Actor
Eat your heart out, Reese Witherspoon.
Not only is Haylie Duff executive producing MTV's new reality competition show Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search for Elle Woods, but...
Scarlett Johansson's best friend, singer and songwriter Jessie Baylin, has high hopes for ScarJo's wedding to Ryan Reynolds.
"I'm really excited for them," Baylin, 24,...
Photo: Courtesy of Burberry
She was just a flash in the pan. Last year she was quirky but now she is challenging [Kate] Moss in the fame stakes by positioning herself everywhere. That kind of popularity just hasn't sat well with Mario, who is looking for something different.
We've learned from way too many cycles of America's Next Top Model that models are generally encouraged to avoid talking back (Nigel Barker has delicate feelings, after all), voicing their opinions, displaying their personalities, or doing anything that would cause you to actually remember their names. Perhaps because it makes them a bit more disposable? The industry may prefer faces without names, but the public likes being on a first-name basis with supermodels. We hope Burberry didn't pull an Elle (too soon after Nina-gate?) on this one and let a good one go. Also, let's not forget that Testino is an avid Moss supporter, reportedly calling her his favorite.
Deyn's rumored replacement is 21-year-old Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, last seen on the arm of Christopher Bailey at the Met's Costume Institute gala. It all comes together now…
'Over-exposed Agyness dropped' [Metro UK via Jezebel]
Photo: Patrick McMullan
A New 3.5-Minute Trailer For J.J. Abrams’ FRINGE!! [Ain't It Cool News]
Photo: Courtesy of Bluefly.com
The Tailor [Bluefly]
Formerly the Cock. Currently a hole.Photo: Jeremiah's Vanishing New York
Harlem: The artwork of a 17-year-old with Down syndrome is being marketed and sold by his parents for up to $1,200. But the son still wants to open a pizza parlor! [VV]
Jamaica: Club Kalua, where Sean Bell partied the night that police gunned him down, could be torn down as part of a larger plan to redevelop the surrounding area with hotels and housing for workers at the nearby JFK airport. [NYS]
Long Island City: A council member thinks that Con Ed should sell their eleven acres of waterfront land here, valued at $500 mil, and use the profits and property-tax savings to cut customers a break. [NYDN]
Windsor Terrace: The tightly knit neighborhood mourns Kyung-Sook Woo, the beloved owner of the dry-cleaning store. She was murdered in a robbery Friday. [Gowanus Lounge]
Brian Wilson is once again lending good vibrations to the Beach Boys' old stomping grounds.
The SMiLE visionary is recording again for his old label, EMI-owned Capitol Records, which...
Photo: AFP/Getty Images
2. Robyn feat. Teddybears, "Cobrastyle" (live on The View)
Robyn performs this Teddybears cover live on The View, our favorite source for hot new music. [Culture Bully]
3. Raekwon feat. Ghostface Killah, "Jihad"
The Chef sounds pretty good here, plus Ghostface chimes in with the dirtiest verse you'll hear all week. [How's the Pie?]
4. Ida, "The Pain of Loving You" (Dolly Parton cover)
Ida performs a sweetly simple cover of an old Dolly Parton–Porter Wagoner song about bad love. Fortunately, loving Dolly usually works out really well. [ Pitchfork]
5. Islands, "The Big Ship"
The Islands pop into the Daytrotter studios to record an old song, a new song, and this, an impressively epic version of this Brian Eno song, apparently without any prep time at all. [Daytrotter]
—Ehren Gresehover
Yay! Makeup!Photo: Courtesy of Harpo, Inc.
• Cle de Peau's latest eye-shadow compact, Ocean Breeze, includes two teals, a navy blue, and a light pink. They're quite translucent so you can wear them without looking like you walked out of the eighties with bright-blue eye shadow. [Daily Beauty Reporter/Allure]
SKIN
• French company Patyka will open its first store in New York this summer. It's known for their organic products and they’re rolling out makeup. Who doesn't want a green face these days? [Cosmetics News]
HAIR
• You know how you when you pull out hair bands strands of hair come with it? That’s where Knotheads comes in: These customizable hair bands replace barrettes, clips, and bands so they don’t rip out hair as long as you pull them out away from your face. [15 Minute Beauty Fanatic]
NAILS
• OPI has some competition on the way: Ciaté, a London-based nail-care brand, is coming to the United States. They call nail bars “spa pods,” which sounds rather enticing. [WWD]
Tagline: "The movie they think they're making isn't a movie anymore."
Translation: The movies Ben Stiller's been making have been terrible, but it's not like that anymore.
The verdict: Laughing at the trailer for a Ben Stiller movie at this moment in history feels a little like lining up to kick the football as Lucy Van Pelt promises she will not yank it away this time. Nevertheless, the new red-band trailer for Tropic Thunder seems … really funny. Maybe it's Jack Black playing Eddie Murphy playing Eddie Murphy's enormous family. Maybe it's Nick Nolte's wise decision to play himself five minutes after his famous mug shot was taken. (It's not really Ben Stiller, who looks to be, as he sometimes is, the weak link in his own movie.) If you throw in the Robert Downey Jr. performance that seems almost guaranteed to be wonderful, and a highly publicized totally secret appearance by Tom Cruise as a Hollywood crazy man, there might be hope. Of course, it's possible this trailer represents the entire non–Ben Stiller content of the movie. —Linda Holmes
Photo: AP
This would be a huge defection for Doyle — despite her firing, she has been a loyal Hillary legwoman since 1991 when she came onboard as a scheduler. She even stayed onboard with the campaign as an adviser after her ouster this winter. It's general practice for campaign operatives to switch camps once a party nominee has been selected, but it's generally not people as high-placed as Doyle, and it generally does not come before a losing candidate has conceded. Howard Wolfson, for example, snapped when asked about possibly working for Obama in the future. "I intend to be working in the general election for Sen. Clinton," said Wolfson, writing our punch line for us. "I find any other speculation offensive."
Top Hillarylander mulls Obama job [Politico]
Malina V. Joseph. Poor thing.Photo: Patrick McMullan
On top of my normal overwhelming workload I worked on a little project known as Stylista … Yours truly can be seen on the small screen dressed in exaggerated versions of my daily garb this fall. Splatter painted tutus, leopard printed coats, yellow sequin soccer jerseys and snakeskin 7-inch platforms, are just a few of the pieces from my closet that help define the look of what I describe to my closest friends as "the tranny version of Malina." If reality show competition is not your entertainment forte, you will at least get a mouth full of over the top style in three distinctive helpings: My Pat Field-less over-the-top "this is what a girl who works in fashion should look like", our Photo Director Brett Ramey and her modern rendition of a Helmut Newton girl, and Anne Slowey, who I can imagine will draw in gaggles of gays who will tune in only to guess what designer she is wearing.
We feel for poor Malina. She won't even get to showcase her true style for the show, which is probably pretty sophisticated and enviable. We also find it rather incredible that she's setting the record straight before the show even airs. She must be pretty embarrassed about the whole thing. We feel her pain — we're embarrassed for everyone from Elle involved in the show, too.
More from the set of Stylista [Wardrobe Diaries/Elle]
Related: Why We're Embarrassed for ‘Elle,’ Anne Slowey, and ‘Stylista’
Margrit Lewcuk’s Fire Fly (2003)Courtesy of Sideshow
Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek at what your friends and neighbors are doing behind doors left slightly ajar. Today, the Super-Single Graduate Student: 24, female, East Village, straight, very, very single.
DAY ONE
11:30 a.m.: Walk home from class and notice a grimy guy turn his head a few times to stare at my boobs. Watch him stop on the sidewalk and continue to stare. Brush past him and silently will something heavy to fall on his head.
3 p.m.: See classmate I hooked up with a few months back in the hallway. Laugh sadly to myself. He was horrible.
3:03 p.m.: Realize that being single for two years will make a girl susceptible to hooking up with grad-school classmate she can tell will be horrible.
3:05 p.m.: Remember when I used to have standards.
8:51 p.m.: Type in "live Webcam" on Google out of sheer boredom. See the thousands of hits advertising Live.Nude.Shows! Consider clicking on one but eventually decide against it. I want a relationship, not live footage of some girl's boobs.
DAY TWO
5 a.m.: Blasted awake by hammering in a neighboring apartment. Wonder why someone's doing construction at 5 a.m. while simultaneously wishing I could go back to that dream about Jake Gyllenhaal.
5:30 a.m.: Still thinking about how Jake Gyllenhaal would be an awesome boyfriend. Think about how he'd totally rub my feet after a long day. Think about how he wouldn't be like all these New York guys I keep meeting who are 29 and have no life plan.
5:31 a.m.: Decide Jakey G. totally has a life plan.
7:45 p.m.: Stumble in the door after the longest day in the history of life. Even surprise appearance of cute professor in class could not make things better. Throw aside grad-school homework and busy myself with freelance blog-writing about celebrities … because I've got to pay the bills somehow.
9 p.m.: Fall asleep at my computer. Wake up and feel like a nerd. Crawl back into bed and wish for Jake Gyllenhaal dream again. Feel certain that fantasizing about movie stars as boyfriends is a pitiful sign.
DAY THREE
4 p.m.: Agree to meet an Internet date I've never met before for drinks on Saturday night. Press "send" on my e-mail and instantly start to freak out. He said he was an actor. I don't date actors. Especially not New York actors.
6 p.m.: Comb through thesis notes in an Avenue A coffee shop. Get distracted by the fact that this coffee shop is overrun with dudes in skinny jeans. I hate skinny jeans.
6:30 p.m.: Go back to reading thesis notes. Wonder if there is anyone in this city who isn't a hipster or a Wall Streeter or an actor/musician. Decide I'd like to date a teacher.
10:45 p.m.: Wonder why my sex drive is so incredibly low. Consider taking out the vibrator for old time's sake. Fall asleep while still considering.
DAY FOUR
7:45 a.m.: Wake up with a start. Dreamed about long-gone ex-boyfriend again. Decide to seriously consider seeing a shrink about these dreams.
9 a.m.: Cute curly-haired guy behind desk at the gym is half-asleep in his chair. I wake him up accidentally. He looks pissed, which slips his cuteness factor down ten notches. He's no longer in contention to be my next life partner.
9:35 a.m.: Catch middle-aged man staring at me. Kinda grossed out but trapped on elliptical. End workout 1 minute early because middle-aged man is seriously skeevy.
7:45 p.m.: Girl at work talks incessantly about a new boy she's dating. Can't understand why she thinks I need a play by play of everything she did with him at Central Park. Wonder if she knows that some of that stuff might be illegal.
DAY FIVE
10:30 p.m.: Meet mystery date at restaurant. During the three-hour conversation, Mystery Date Boy wavers between cool, enlightened, and might-be-crazy. Can't pin down which.
1 a.m.: End up making out on my bed anyway. He's a good kisser. But he also might have back hair.
1:30 a.m.: Scold myself for being so forward. Wonder if he thinks heavy make-out session on first date means I'm easy. Then remind self that it was only making out.
1:35 a.m.: Decide if I'm easy, he's easy too.
2 a.m.: Go to sleep in my bed, alone. Mystery Date has just left. And he definitely had back hair.
DAY SIX
10 a.m.: Sincerely wish I had gotten to bed earlier. Class drags on. Check cell phone for possible text from Mystery Date Boy.
2 p.m.: Think about Mystery Date Boy some more. No texts :(. Can't remember how cute he actually was. Hope he was as cute as wine-foggy memory insists.
3 p.m.: Decide I'm thinking about someone I met once too much. Decide Internet dating is stupid — promise myself to never do it again.
DAY SEVEN
8:30 a.m.: Walk past the male portion of NYU swim team on my way to the cardio room at gym. Notice some are in Speedos. Morning gets instantly better.
2 p.m.: Think about Mystery Date Boy. Now completely unable to remember his hotness quotient.
5 p.m.: Catch the last half of Unfaithful on HBO. Decide it's kind of like watching porn.
10:45 p.m.: Light candle. Decide to take the vibrator out of retirement. Realize it won't turn on. Search for AA batteries.
11 p.m.: Give up on finding batteries and hearing from Mystery Date. A girl's gotta sleep sometime.
Totals: One blind date with Internet actor; one act of bedroom making-out with Internet date; two abandoned acts of masturbation, one due to the widely feared failure of batteries; one encounter with previous horrific hookup partner; one all-consuming ongoing fantasy about Jake Gyllenhaal.
Body painting is back, people!Photo: Sharon Clott
That's Angelina's favorite color. You know you want it, too.Photo: Sharon Clott
2. The most important color to add to your makeup bag come fall? Burgundy. “The Ungaro for M.A.C line that’s coming out in October, it has a burgundy stain for lips,” says M.A.C pro artist Patrick Eichler. “It’s the next step from natural and pretty, in a sophisticated way, not in a fly-girl way. It’s time to move away from the fly-girl thing. I’m tired of lip gloss. It’s been a decade now. Move on.”
3. Ecofriendly marketing is kinda baloney. Alison Raffaele, founder of her eponymous earth-friendly line, hates the pitches behind eco products. “There are companies out there that say ‘If you can’t pronounce something, don’t get it,’” Raffaele says. “But to me, it’s not the end of the world. It’s not a secret what these ingredients are. Can you say tocopheryl acetate? No? Well, that’s Vitamin E.”
We did this for you.Photo: Sharon Clott
5. Cory Bishop, a makeup artist for Nix’ie Cosmetics, believes you need three shadows to shape your eyes, no more, no less. “Put the lightest color on the highest point of the eyeball and the highest arch part of the brow. But not all on the brow line. If you do, you risk looking drag-queen-ish.” Do not want that, thanks. —Sharon Clott
Photo: Courtesy Scott Rose
Photo: Courtesy Scott Rose
Come on, guys. We know words are our business, but as they say, sometimes a picture is worth thousands of 'em.
Comments: May 26, 2008 [NYM]
Scott Rose's Comments Archive [NYM]
Photo: Getty Images
Could this possibly be true? Haven't R.E.M. been working tirelessly for a decade to preemptively debunk Pallett's theory? We'd always thought the real shortcut to rock-and-roll success was hiring a second drummer, which, counterintuitively, is almost always a good idea (see the Grateful Dead and Joe Cocker's Mad Dogs and Englishmen album). But would some bands actually be better off without their drummer? Bands besides the Eagles?
The Raconteurs
We'll forgo the easy joke about Jack White firing his other drummer (if anything, we'd actually like to see Meg do a solo album), and say he should lose the one in his side band. The country songs on the Raconteurs' recent Consolers of the Lonely make us curious to hear what they could do with just a pair of guitars and a mandolin.
Radiohead
Since we still want to hear them play "The Bends" at Liberty State Park in August, Phil Selway should definitely keep his status as a touring member — but would it eliminate the four-year gaps between albums if Thom and Jonny just broke down and used a drum machine instead of trying to get him to play like one?
Iron Maiden
No offense to Nicko McBrain, but he totally sucks.
Arcade Fire
They're already the whitest band ever, but just imagine how much whiter they'd sound without a backbeat?
Vampire Weekend
Without the drums, would they sound less like Graceland-era Paul Simon and more like Paul Simon-era Paul Simon? We could get behind that.
Coldplay
As everyone knows, the most annoying part of any Coldplay song is the rock coda they insist on tacking to the end of all their weepy piano ballads. Might they sound less bland if they lost Will Champion and all their songs were four minutes shorter?
Ringo Starr's All-Star Band
Wouldn't Hamish Stuart, Gary Wright, Billy Squier, and Edgar Winter sound great together if they weren't playing a bunch of crappy songs that Ringo wrote?
Surely there are others, right?
The Return of the One-Man Band [NYTM]
Illustration by John Gall and Ned Drew; Photo: Joan Marcus
Meanwhile, Mates of State are rockers who are so nice they're almost annoying. City of Thieves author David Benioff talks Hollywood, suggesting Peter Weir to direct the adaptation. Parvez Sharma, director of the gay-Islam documentary A Jihad for Love, has smuggled tapes into Iran. Laura Dern caked on the makeup to play Katherine Harris in Recount. And we ask the Sanrio corporation how they feel about artist Tom Sachs's basically claiming that Hello Kitty is in the public domain. Finally, who will win the Best Actress in a Musical Tony? Patti, Patti, Patti!
Photo illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images, iStockphoto
If Clinton did it wrong, though, how did Obama do it right? The Atlantic has the answer. Joshua Green followed the money as it led him through Silicon Valley, the Internet, and stadiums across the country.
• Obama was a candidate made for Silicon Valley. It didn't matter that he was young — all of the kings of the Internet took their thrones while in their mid-twenties. In fact, many of the richest guys in the Valley became adults after Bill Clinton was inaugurated. They don't have the Clinton loyalty of many other Californians.
• His early popularity there succeeded in breaking the fund-raising stranglehold the Clintons had in the rest of the donor-rich state. It also taught Obama's team the value of Internet staples like subscriber models for donations, user groups, widgets, and social networking.
• While the Clinton campaign realized the importance of small donors and easy online access too late, Obama was raising the majority of his funds online from very early on. His Web team includes Howard Dean veterans and Facebook co-founders. While she was relying on the old $2,000-a-plate-dinner model, he was appearing at free rallies in stadiums attended by tens of thousands, many of whom would go home to make small donations. These results would dwarf the numbers pulled in by any small benefit.
• Rather than an organization that is tightly controlled from the top, Obama's campaign empowers everyone to have gatherings, start groups, make a call or two, or participate individually.
• As a result, he has stats like these: 750,000 active volunteers, 8,000 affinity groups, 30,000 events, and 1,276,000 donors so far. Clinton has a few million dollars in personal debt. Ninety-four percent of donations to him are under $200.
His success financially doesn't only dwarf Clinton's — it also dwarfs John McCain's. Today's Times reports that the Republican nominee will probably depend heavily upon GOP funds in the general election. The paper predicts it will be the most expensive presidential race in history, and that Obama will not accept public financing as he had previously pledged. Reading the Atlantic and New Republic stories about what works and what doesn't work, it's not hard to see why.
The Amazing Money Machine [Atlantic]
What Went Wrong? [New Republic]
McCain to Rely on Party Money Against Obama [NYT]
Photo: imaxtree
Its a certain girl that wants to be a model, its a certain family that supports their dream. Modeling and fashion is a business of image with unfair expectations, if it was easy then why bother. The fashion reality is that a new batch of girls are in town, younger and hungrier.My question: Would Ali Michael come out with her eating disorder if she had an amazing show season?
Probably not. But this post and Michael has inspired many other models to speak up in the comments section.
One writes:
As a model myself, I haven't gotten my period in 10 months and I felt guilty about eating a half a sandwich for lunch. It scares the crap out of me.
Another writes:
i'm a model and at 5'11 and 115 pounds i haven't had my period in about a year. it was so jarring to hear her say that.
And another, who's "battled every type of issue for 5 years":
I am 5'11 and naturally 130- 135. If they would accept someone at those statistics I wouldn't be going through such turmoil, yet I'm not completely blaming the industry 100%, because I do in fact understand that I could've chosen to go seek employment elsewhere.Point being, it's a big fucking problem, I don't know how many times I've heard my other model roomates vomiting in the toilet throughout the years. It's sad. It's real, It's a problem.
Many other commenters point out some people are just naturally tall and lanky. And many more are pretty angry about what Perret had to say. Still, it's hard to imagine anything changing until someone like Karl Lagerfeld or Marc Jacobs starts routinely casting 130-pound girls.
Off Season: Ali Michael [Confessions of a Casting Director]
Related: Model Ali Michael on ‘Today:’ ‘I Hadn't Had My Period in Over a Year
Photo: Getty Images
"I know Harrison would love to. I know that Harrison, when he's 80, will still be jacked." —Shia LaBeouf on making Indiana Jones movies in perpetuity [MTV]
"John's got a swagger that I've noticed. He's got a 'tude that I have to try and learn how to get. It's that 'I may talk to you, I may not talk to you,' kind of thing." —Josh Groban on learning how to be an asshole by emulating John Mayer [People]
"Probably the greatest benefit of the show is that no one really hates us, which is very rare." —Sex and the City's Willie Garson has never talked to our friends [EW]
"I was asked, which, now that you bring it up, is that a compliment? 'Laura Dern, you are the only person we can imagine playing Katherine Harris.'" —Laura Dern on not having to audition for her role in Recount [BlackBook]
Photo: iStockphoto
Don't be ridiculous, of course it isn't. Leaving aside the obviously more pressing criticism that neither of you should be flying anyway because you are destroying the planet with your great, galumphing carbon footprints, the fact that you even ask this question reflects, I have to say, poorly on yourself.…few qualities are as mistakenly overrated as being an efficient packer. A good packer? Frankly, I'd rather have good hair.
For a start, being able to survive for two weeks with nothing but a pair of trousers, two tops, one dress, a pair of flip-flops, a receptacle to purify your urine and a spool of twine (or whatever) all squashed into a handbag is nothing to boast about. It's not that there is anything wrong with not owning many clothes. But to pretend that you don't — well, there is something a little bit patronising about the whole pose, don't you think?
Yes, we sure do! We look forward to cutting our packing time in half this year.
Hairline harrassment [Guardian]
"For God's sake, make the singing stop!"Photo courtesy of Sci Fi
They Have a Plan
There won’t be a new episode for two weeks, and the writers decided to end Friday’s installment with some shockers — one cool, one meh.
The high point was Roslin’s discovery that once she and Baltar reactivated the Cylon Hybrid to get answers about her “opera house” dream, the Almighty Albino Chick would not, in fact, thank her for being so kind and gladly explain the vision’s meaning. Instead, the Hybrid jumped the basestar, kidnapping Roslin and Baltar in the process — not to mention wrecking the fragile alliance between the fleet and the rebel Cylons.
But then Sharon shot Number Six rebel leader Natalie after discovering that her runaway robo-baby, Hera, was having visions of the Cylon hottie. (Is anyone on this show not having visions?) Natalie’s apparent death would have been a lot more startling if this wasn't the third episode this season that ended with a person threatening someone’s life at gunpoint. Lately, the show has resorted to dramatic gimmicks: Chief shaving his head to prove he’s unhinged; Starbuck obsessively painting large-scale canvases of her Earth visions; and Tigh shooting Adama in the head — except, oh, wait, he only imagined it!
We’re still willing to give Battlestar the benefit of the doubt, but the more the show features singing amputees and unhinged women trying to blow each other away, the more we worry about getting the great finale we deserve. —Tim Grierson
Photo: iStockphoto
"When you talk about those consumers who can afford that price range, you can't really talk about recession," said retail consultant Dana Telsey. "They are looking for exquisite pieces all the time. There's not enough quantity at this quality."
Yes, they really are a deprived set.
One Sparkling Sector: Demand Stays Buoyant For High-End Jewelry [WWD]
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Rolling Stone writer recalls the 1979 Eagles vs. RS softball game
and his personal history with the band The last time the Eagles appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone, back in 1979, Charles M. Young had spent a year with the band, gaining unprecedented access to one of rock's biggest and most private bands ("The Eagles: Hell Is for Heroes," RS 305). The Eagles had hit new peaks for partying and for creativity, and Young was happy to join them. The article, though, opened some wounds (and another Young piece on the band — a short Random Note — led to a historic softball game with the... |
• H&M is opening a women's-only department store in Saudi Arabia in attempt to bring more women into the workforce there. Hooray! [British Vogue]
• Marc Jacobs on being likened to Andy Warhol in the June/July issue of Interview: "I don't think of myself that way. Warhol is Warhol. He's practically a god. I thought, 'I'm going to get a lot of hell for this.'" [WWD]
• "Queen of Mean" Leona Helmsley's clothes were auctioned yesterday. The Chanel skirt suit she wore as she headed to prison (serving a sentence for tax evasion) went for $850, a sable coat fetched $6,000, and a beaded red Bob Mackie evening gown went for $3,200. [NYDN]
• Botox is sponsoring GenArt's Styles 2008 fashion show tonight not because fashion people don't want to be wrinkly, but because it helps fight hyperhidrosis, or excessive sweating, which affects the colors and fabrics sufferers can wear. [WWD]
• Cynthia Nixon on Sex and the City: "I worry more about the younger women that believe that somehow because we dress this way in the series and in the movie that somehow they think we’re real and that they should be dressing this way. And that every day, their hair has to be done, they have to be wearing high heels, a different dress every day, and a how ever many thousand dollar handbag. I worry more about the girls who just sort of follow us like a blueprint." We concur! [FabSugar]
• Giorgio Armani had a party in Italy to celebrate twenty years of making designer eyewear. [WWD]
• Nicole Kidman wants Patrick Demarchelier to take pictures of her pregnant. But she wants to wait until her belly's really big. [NYDN]
• Pale denim is surprisingly glamorous with sparkles or silky tops. [Times UK]
• The moon dress by Roland Mouret is a "work of genius." Here's a slideshow of Victoria Beckham and other celebrities looking smashing in this creation and others by him. [Guardian]
• Petra Nemcova is supposedly trying to get Sean Penn's attention at the Cannes Film Festival by wearing slinky low-cut dresses. [NYDN]
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