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Today on the Comics Page, we're proud to present an excerpt from What It Is, Lynda Barr's memoir-as-master-class, a gorgeously illustrated guide to creativity and the power of images. Part collage, part autobiography, part inspirational lesson, What It Is is out this week from Drawn & Quarterly.
What It Is, by Lynda Barry
"Good evening, white people…"Photo: Getty Images
• Ben Smith says the results make it clear that Obama will have to look beyond the Rust Belt to win in November, and target more educated whites in the North and West. [Politico]
• Byron York says the landslide victory and the strength of Clinton's continued support is evidence of just how divided the Democratic Party has become. Like Ben Smith, he notes that Obama will have to win the White House in a "brand new way," a task which is certainly making some people nervous. [National Review]
• Adam Nagourney writes that it's debatable whether West Virginia's results spell trouble for Obama in the fall. For one thing, the state isn't at all reflective of the country as a whole, and the political climate is squarely against the Republicans this year. At the same time, Obama's struggle to win over working-class whites could define his general-election campaign. [NYT]
• Andrew Romano says worries about Obama's support among white, working-class voters are more justified than ever. Of course, the superdelegates already knew that Obama had trouble with this group, so this isn't new to them and won't change their minds. [Stumper/Newsweek]
• Vaughn Ververs points out a few reasons not to draw any big-picture conclusions from West Virginia: The demographics could not have been better for Clinton, her family name is well liked there, and Obama offered only token campaigning in the state. Of course, while his nomination appears to be safe, Obama's trouble in West Virginia and elsewhere "can’t be comforting for him or his party." [Horserace/CBS News]
• Craig Crawford thinks last night's results "should give pause" to superdelegates but doesn't expect it to. Liberals are placing another bet, as they did in 1972 with George McGovern, that the country has moved leftward. [CQ Politics]
• Matthew Yglesias gently mocks the idea that because no Democrat has won the White House without West Virginia since 1916, Obama is doomed without the state. [Atlantic]
• John Dickerson doesn't think Obama's problems with white, working-class voters will necessarily carry over into the general election. Polls show Obama and Clinton running about even with the demographic against McCain, and others show Obama doing better than Democrats have in the past. His trouble with this group might become more of a governing problem (how can he build his promised coalitions?) than an electoral problem. [Slate]
• Jim Geraghty thinks the superdelegates "should be sweating" because groups that have been the "backbone of the party for generations" just aren't warming up to Obama. [Campaign Spot/National Review]
• Chris Cillizza, in consultation with an array of Democratic operatives, suggests a few things Obama should do to shore up his shaky support in the general, including continuous, frequent visits to Ohio and Pennsylvania to answer questions about his religion, patriotism, etc. [Fix/WP] —Dan Amira
Related: Ten Thought Experiments Exploring the Possibility of Hillary Clinton, Nominee [NYM]
For a complete and regularly updated guide to presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain — from First Love to Most Embarrassing Gaffe — read the 2008 Electopedia.
Video: ASIMO burns as Yo-Yo Ma fiddles [Engadget]
Honda robot conducts Detroit Symphony to warm response [AP via Abilene Reporter-News]
Photo: Getty Images
"Honey, we'll get through this."
When you're saying that to your secret baby-mama mistress, and not your loving wife and the mother of your three young children, you've gotta know it's going to turn out to be a lie.
But in his defense, he was drunk.
Vito Fossella assures 'honey' everything will be fine - and thinks he'll keep job [NYDN]
Courtesy of Fox
Courtesy of rickey.org
More than half of voters in West Virginia said they would be dissatisfied if Obama won the nomination. Half said they believed he shared the views of his former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. Half also said Obama was not honest and trustworthy, and half said he did not share their values.
Oh well. God Damn America, everyone! West Virginia, we shall never care about you again. Until 2012 maybe.
New York loves Ali's legs: She walks Ruffian fall 2008.Photo: Imaxtree
I was on a plane from Paris to Texas, and I ran my fingers through my hair, and when I took my hand away there was a dry brittle clump of hair in my hand. And that's kind of when I realized that this wasn't worth it anymore, and it had completely taken over.
But it's not like Ali was the only one with issues. She explained that plenty of models similarly suffer. When Ann Curry asked if other models were sick, Ali's answer didn't leave a lot of room for interpretation:
Absolutely. I remember one instance when I was backstage at a show in Paris, and I was sitting in a group of four girls. I had mentioned to them that I hadn't had a period in over a year, and one by one all of them said, "Oh, me too."
After working with a doctor and nutritionist, Ali got a bit healthier and returned to Paris in February, still fit to model, but only Yohji Yamamoto cast her. But looking at Ali on television this morning, she didn't seem to mind the damage to her runway career: "It has to change. The fashion industry affects everyone."
Sitting with Ali was Teen Vogue editor-in-chief Amy Astley (Ali's story runs in the June/July issue), and she was pretty clear about placing blame for the problem: "It's the designers." Sigh. Like resort season is the best time to tackle this issue. —Jessica Coen
Earlier: Model Eats, Obviously Sent Home From Paris
Point Break, Too: Speaking of ridiculous updates of early-nineties stories, Jan De Bont will direct the sequel to 1991's Point Break, Point Break: Indo. We can only hope that the sequel offers the same thoughtful critique of the Bush administration that the first film did of Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon. [HR]
Bruckheimer Pays Increments: Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer have picked up the rights to David Ignatius's The Increment, the story of British undercover intelligence agents and a weapons scientist defecting from Iran. Variety calls it a "geopolitical thriller," which sounds more like Disney's making Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?, a movie we're not entirely opposed to seeing. [Variety]
Jonah Hill Turning 21: We really want to believe EW's Nicole Sperling when she reports that Jonah Hill's in negotiations to develop a 21 Jump Street movie with Sony. Just give the man guns, shades, and a ripped denim vest and we're good to go. And the best part would definitely be re-creating the show's public service announcements. [EW]
Surf's Up for Anchor Bay: In economics there's this idea called the bigger fool theory that says, "you can buy something worthless as long as there's a bigger fool to buy it from you." With that in mind, Anchor Bay will distribute Matthew McConaughey's Surfer, Dude with high hopes you'll pay to see a movie so bad it makes baby pandas murder themselves in the face. But at the same time, he's obviously shirtless, ladies. [HR]
Kelly has punished the fibbing celebrity editor for her lie with particularly brutal coverage in today's Post complete with a vicious spoof of her departure as it might be reported in a celebrity tabloid and a nasty headline—Ding Dong, Bonnie's Gone. For Fuller's greater sin—a lie on her mother's grave—she doesn't have to answer to Keith Kelly; only to her own conscience and whatever dark deity she worships.
{"t":"[Dude's Name]","i":2401357,"u":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/profile.php
?id=2401357","o":216,"it":"","n":"Northwestern"}
for me the "o:" value here is 216 for the vast majority of the names,
216 being my total number of friends, but some are lower - lo and
behold people with 0-4 are the five people that show up in the search
box
o's just a ranking thing, like so when you type "a" it uses the o
value to figure out which names should come first, then everything
that's 216 is just in alphabetical order
The only thing that remains is how they computed the o values, I
assume the method was something nefarious. Anyway it's gone now, but I
hope this helps. I'm not affiliated with facebook or anything.
"It's a terrible rumor. I have been out of the office for nearly three weeks, one week or so while my mom was sick and now she passed away and I have been sitting shiva all week. It is not true at all. I am not looking for another job and I am NOT negotiating this contract with AMI to leave. Please tell Keith if he does this while I am sitting shiva it would be terrible to me."
The dead-mother card! Amazing. But to be honest this is not really what raised Keith's hackles. In reality he is just pissed off about Star lying to him about Brad and Angelina's wedding in New Orleans and the effectiveness of the Five Factor diet. Good riddance, silver-tongued succubus!
Ding, Dong, Bonnie's Gone [NYP]
 The Gazette (Montreal) | 9021-Oh My! Jennie Garth Says Tori Wants In E! Online - That's what I can tell you after meeting all the new stars of West Beverly yesterday at the CW party in NYC. Naturally, our beloved Kelly Taylor was in the house to promote her return as a special guest star on the new CW 90210 spinoff, and she said it ... Jennie Garth returns in new 'Beverly Hills 90210' Tori Spelling in talks for '90210' role |
Appreciation: Texas-born Rauschenberg considered mixed-media pioneer Dallas Morning News - By KRISTON CAPPS / Special Contributor to The Dallas Morning News Robert Rauschenberg, the puckish, pioneering artist from Port Arthur, Texas, whose impact can be traced through both painting and sculpture over the last half-century, died Monday at 82. Robert Rauschenberg, 82; influential artist mixed painting ... Robert Rauschenberg, art's eclectic master, dies at 82 |
"It seemed to show a lack of respect and a lack of desire to be helpful to your new property."
"People are so beaten down here there's not much of anything that could cause much of a reaction."
"Everything is different," said one. "The parking lot is half-empty, the cafeteria is half-empty. It's unbelievable. I remember when I couldn't get a space! You get to work after 10 a.m. or so, and the lines at the cafeteria used to be long. Now there's nothing. There's no one there."
Sounds like fun!
[NYO]
The Times was a little more squeamish about getting into a discussion of Simmons's future, instead choosing to focus on the ol' "hey, we all swear a lot these days, huh?" meme. And the Post? What was their take on the whole kerfuffle? That Sue Simmons is a drunk, obviously. She goes out for dinner between the afternoon and late-night broadcasts and has "a cocktail or two." Which we thought was just under the disaster limit, but to the Post drinking that much apparently makes you a "SALTY SWILLER." We have at least four drinks a night — what does that make us, then? Crapulent Chuggers? Eh, we'll take that.
When an Anchor Curses on the Air, She Becomes the Night’s Top Story [NYT]
On-air expletive raises question about Simmons' future [Newsday]
SILLY SUE A SALTY SWILLER [NYP]
Earlier: Examining the Two-Drink Barrier
Sue Simmons Wants to Know What the F**k You Are Doing
STARTING TODAY
• Lela Rose’s feminine cocktail dresses, taffeta anoraks, and satin button dresses are 50 to 70 percent off. Through 5/16. 224 W. 30th St., nr. Seventh Ave., thirteenth fl. (212-947-9204); Wed.–Fri. (10–6).
• Men’s and women’s Helmut Lang and Rag & Bone clothes are 60 percent off. Through 5/16. 261 W. 36th St., nr. Eighth Ave., second fl. (212-947-8748); Wed. and Fri. (10–6); Thurs. (10–7).
• The Julie Haus sample sale has cute cocktail dresses for up to 80 percent off. Through 5/15. 545 W. 34th St., nr. Tenth Ave., Ste. 5C (212-239-4100); Wed. (10–8); Thurs. (10–6).
• James Jeans has all styles boot-cut, straight leg, or cropped--for up to 75 percent off. Through 5/16. 500 Greenwich St., nr. Spring St., Ste. 202 (212-221-4603); Wed. and Thurs. (9:30–7:30); Fri. (9:30–2:30).
• In honor of his ten-year anniversary, Yigal Azrouël is throwing a sale with prices up to 70 percent off retail. Through 5/16. 225 W. 39th St., nr. Seventh Ave. seventh fl. (212-302-1194); Wed.–Thurs. (9–7), Fri. (9–3).
• The latest dress collection and women’s ready-to-wear from Vivienne Tam is 75 percent off starting today. Through 5/16. 260 W. 39th St., nr. Seventh Ave., eleventh fl. (no phone); Wed. (9–8), Thurs. (10–7), Fri. (10–6).
• The chiffon and voile fabrics used in Catherine Malandrino’s designs are marked down starting today. Skirts that were $245 to $495 are now $105, and dresses that were $395 to $695 are now $225. Through 5/16. The Metropolitan Pavilion, 123 W. 18th St., nr. Sixth Ave., fourth fl. (212-388-0339); Wed.–Thurs. (8–8), Fri. (10–8).
• Preppy sportswear from Gant is 75 percent off retail prices. Shirts, blouses, and polos are under $30, sweaters are under $35, and bottoms are $25 and under. Plus, catch a blazer for $95 or outerwear accessories for under $20. Through 5/16. 20 W. 55th St., nr. Fifth Ave., eleventh fl. (212-230-1949); Wed.–Thurs. (8:30–6:30), Fri. (8:30–5).
• Need a new purse? The Jennifer Alfano sample sale begins today. Prices start at $300. Through 5/15. 257 West 39th St., nr. Eighth Ave., tenth fl. (212-947-8748); 10–4.
• Several showrooms pair up for a spring sample sale featuring bargain prices on Laura Dahl, Wifebeader, and Bliss Lau, all for up to 65 percent off. Bags that were $425 are now $175, and dresses that retailed for $245 to $350 are now $85. Through 5/25. 425 W. 13th St., at Washington St., Ste. 401 (212-645-2120); Wed.–Fri. (11–7), Sat.–Sun. (12–6).
• Find designs from Heidi Weisel at below-wholesale prices. Sweaters start at $20, and gowns are $150. Through 5/16. 264 W. 40th St., at Seventh Ave., penthouse two (212-221-9700); Wed.–Fri. (10–6).
• AmericanApparel.com is having a secret swim sale, but it’s not so secret anymore. Get 20 percent off any swimwear purchase when you type SWIM08E at checkout. Through 5/27.
ENDING TODAY
• The Patti Rose sample sale features designers like Christian Lacroix, Blumarine, Roberto Cavalli, Pucci, and more up to 75 percent off. Patti’s sales happen once a month, and they're hit-and-miss. Through 5/14. New York Genealogical Society Building, 122-126 E. 58th St., nr. Lexington Ave., ground fl. (917-533-8251); 9–6.
• Spring dresses, tops, and skirts from Mint are up to 50 percent off. Through 5/14. 230 W. 39th St., nr. Seventh Ave., second Fl.; 212-997-0270; 8:30–7.
• The denim line Evisu slashes prices by 70 percent at their sample sale. T-shirts are $15, and denim starts at $59. Through 5/14. 121 Greene St., at Prince St., second fl.; 10:30–8.
STARTING TOMORROW
• Gryson, Loomstate, and the house label are up to 75 percent off at Steven Alan. A Demylee cashmere cardigan is now $91. 103 Franklin St., nr. Church St. (212-219-3305); Thurs. and Fri. (8:30–8); Sat. (noon–7); Sun. (noon–5).
• What Comes Around Goes Around is having its annual spring sale. Vintage boots are now just $30. 351 W. Broadway, nr. Broome St. (212-343-9303); Thurs. (1–9); Fri.–Sat. (11–8).
ENDING TOMORROW
• Prices on Nancy Cohen's semiprecious baubles are normally $150 to $600 at Bloomingdale's, but at the sale everything is whittled down by up to 75 percent. 55 Fifth Ave., nr. 12th St., seventeenth fl. (212-741-5700); Wed. (11–7) and Thurs.(10–2).
• Everything at the Mika Inatome sale (where bridal gowns usually run $2,000 to $3,500) is up to 90 percent off. 93 Reade St., nr. Church St., second fl. (212-966-7777); by appointment only.
• Intermix extended their designer sale through Thursday! Now, the select designer stock at Intermix is 40 percent off. Try the Chloé patent triple-strap zip-back sandals, originally $775, now only $465. Check out all their locations here. And if you purchase online, enter the code DESIGNER at checkout.
It is a dearly held belief among many young, city-dwelling adults that the threshold to adolescence is paved with gangsta rap, slasher flicks, and hard-core pornography. Like most adults, these people have no clue what’s happening with kids today. The great tradition of clean-cut teenage entertainment — long elbowed to the pop-culture margins by the likes of James Dean, Cheech and Chong, and Kurt Cobain — has roared back to life in the digital age, fueled by tweens with disposable allowances and high-speed Internet connections. And fascinatingly, it has spawned a new breed of young stars: the Goody-Goodies. This slideshow presents the top ten churchgoing, non-drinking, promise-ring-wearing singer-actors from inside and outside the Disney universe — along with their great shames and potential for corruption. You probably know Miley Cyrus, the 15-year-old Hannah Montana star with so wholesome an image that Vanity Fair created an uproar merely by publishing a picture of her (um) bare back. Before you start pooh-poohing the goody-goody lifestyle, just remember: You’re old, and no one cares what you think anyhow. —Nick Catucci
(Incidentally, subversive messages on Gawker are often hidden in the tags. Hover over the red subhead above the headline, which reveals other words and phrases by which the article has been categorized. Just so you know.)
She's been here and she's had drinks with her dinner," a Jean Georges employee said. "She's had a cocktail or two, yes, between shows, with dinner."
The Times rounded up some New Yorkers shaken to their cores by the incident:
... said Omar Villaneuva, a doorman at 27 West 72nd Street, between Central Park West and Columbus Avenue... "when you’re a news reporter, you’re supposed to report the news. You’re not there to swear.”
Peter King, who works in an architectural office on the Upper West Side, echoed Mr. Villaneuva’s point. “It’s overused, and we are crasser than we were for it,” Mr. King said. “It’s just another indication of standards declining. I mean, I curse like a sailor, but I know how to talk to my dad and talk to clients, versus how to talk to my friends.”
Sarah Bassine, a filmmaker, said that Ms. Simmons was a role model... “Certainly, a newscaster should be able to express herself or himself better. People who are in the public eye have a responsibility to conduct themselves in a responsible manner.”
 WSIL TV | Beautiful weather in Arizona Wednesday KPNX-12 - by Sarah Walters - May. 14, 2008 06:24 AM It was a busy Tuesday, weather-wise, with showers and storms in parts of the Valley, and snow in the High Country. Scattered rainfall forecast for Oklahoma Storms to strike Atlanta area tonight |
Do you object to objectification?
Then don't pick up the new Maxim, which features a special accompanying issue containing "the ultimate list of the world's most..."Motherf- - -er!"
No, that wasn't Remy. That was something who calls himself Papoose
[via the Post, something that calls itself a paper]
 E! Online | Nick Cannon Doesn't Give a S**t TMZ.com - Newlywed Nick Cannon needed to stock up for his big night with Mariah Carey by shopping for laxatives. Being married to Mariah can leave a man feeling backed up inside. Mariah's Matrimonial Musings Mariah dishes about wedding on ‘Ellen’ |
 MSN India | Musical first staged in Bay Area garners 7 Tony nominations San Jose Mercury News - By Karen D'Souza Stew, the provocative musician known for his work with a band called The Negro Problem, brings his songs to the stage for the exuberant world premiere of "Passing Strange," opening in October 2006 at Berkeley Repertory Theatre. Dominicans cheer as 'In the Heights' grabs 13 Tony Award nods This Year’s Tony List Is Filled With Unusual Suspects |
 E! Online | "Idol" Honcho -- Free David from Dad! TMZ.com - TMZ first told you how David Archuleta's dad was banished from backstage on "American Idol" for being a total nightmare. 'Idol' Producer on Archuleta's Dad: We Want David 'to Be Free' 'American Idol' Producer Explains Ban On David Archuleta's Dad ... |
 Fresh News | GIVE OUR REGARDS TO BROADWAY Marissa Jaret Winokur will always ... Entertainment Weekly - By Annie Barrett Farewells, congrats, and bushels full of sparkly confetti to Marissa Jaret Winokur, the bubbly contestant nobody ever expected to make it to the final four. Dancing Beat Stops for Marissa Marissa Jaret Winokur voted off on 'Dancing With the Stars' |
 Ontario Now | Oops! Britney Did It Again, Crashed Her Mercedes eFluxMedia - By Alexander Toldt Britney Spears seems to be a terrible driver. Tuesday, she was involved in her second car crash this month as she plowed her white convertible Mercedes-Benz SL into the back of a Ford Explorer sports utility vehicle (SUV). Britney Spears Hits A Car One More Time Britney Spears has another car crack up |
Marissa Jaret Winokur remains a one-time Tony winner for now. The Broadway star and partner Tony Dovolani were eliminated from Dancing With the Stars Tuesday after failing to make the most of...
Don't miss one song—or one note of British sarcasm—with our performance-show liveblog:
Three finalists, three songs apiece—you do the math. Now we find out what...
Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt are back on as buds—and just in time, so it seems.
E! News has exclusively learned that Jenner, a former Prince of Malibu and member of an extended...
Emile Hirsch has ditched his agent faster than you can say "box-office flop."
A source tells E! News the 23-year-old actor, who won raves for his performance as society-shunner...
Britney Spears might be a crummy driver, but she's apparently a gracious host.
Spears was tooling around Sunset Boulevard in Beverly Hills in her convertible Mercedes SL when she...
We've really missed the two-fingered flashings since Miley Cyrus moved to Nashville to shoot the Hannah Montana movie.
(Apparently, the town's in short supply of red carpet...
Sarah Jessica Parker jetted to England a couple of days ago for the start of an almost two-week European tour in support of Sex and the City through London, Berlin and Paris.
But before...
Photo: iStockphoto
What is it about two drinks? It’s that magic number on which so much social interaction hinges. It’s enough to make you feel good but not enough to get you sloppy. And why is it we New Yorkers can so rarely limit our consumption to two drinks? Do we just not want to good times to end? Is it because we have more taxis than you can wave a hand at and don’t have to drive home? Or is it because we’re an extreme generation living in extreme times and are completely incapable of moderation? (Remember the first time you found out that four drinks is considered binge drinking and you were all, “That’s not binge drinking. That’s a warm-up”?)
If you’re on a date, the two-drink theory is also a good indicator of how your night will turn out. If you have more than two drinks, the date is going well and you’re probably going to hook up. If it’s not going well, you usually won’t have more than two drinks. There's that awkward moment after you’ve each already had two drinks when the waitress asks, "Another round, guys?" and it’s like she might as well be asking, "Do you want to have sex?” Then there's that pause where the two of you look at each other and have to, like, decide.
The two-drink litmus test can also be used when you’re having drinks with people connected to a job opportunity. If you and your prospective employers get tanked together, it’s a good sign. But if the meeting doesn't go beyond two drinks, it probably means you're not getting the job. Or it means that they have kids and are really devoted to their family, in which case you shouldn’t take the job anyway because you’ll be stuck at the office till 10 p.m. every night doing their work while they peace out at 5 p.m. —Noelle Hancock
Study: 2-Drink Limit Pretty Hip [NYP]
The original Bret Maverick is gunning for a full recovery.
James Garner, who embodied the riverboat gambler long before Mel Gibson tried his hand at it, was hospitalized Friday after...
Bird? Plane? Galliano model? No! It's J.Lo!Photo: Getty Images
• The Maybelline Define-A-Brow is an easy brow liner and comb that comes in six colors for just $7, which is the perfect price point for a brow brush and liner. [Face Candy]
HAIR
• Lauren Conrad is a healthy hair icon. What can't she do? [Daily Beauty Reporter/Allure]
FRAGRANCE
• Demeter Fragrance Library partnered with Tootsie Roll Industries to launch Tootsie Roll, Tropical Dots, and Junior Mints fragrances this week at Sephora and Dylan’s Candy Bar. Smelling is the new eating. [Cosmetic News]
• Colette ordered the Eau d’Italie’s Magnolia Romana fragrance without even testing it — a huge credit to the power of the brand. The magnolia fragrance is the fifth scent from Eau d’Italie, which you'll find in New York at Bergdorf Goodman. [WWD]
SKIN
• Styledash put together the list of Hollywood’s most fabulous tanning disasters. Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Hulk Hogan are givens, but they boldly added Donatella Versace and Giorgio Armani. You know, if we lived in Italy, we'd take advantage too. [Styledash]
• Queens is home to a five-story 60,000-square-foot spa and water park called Inspa World. It's got pools, hot tubs, saunas, massage rooms, a food court, and best of all, a room that only plays Korean soap operas with English subtitles. We’re so there. [NYT]
Photo: Getty Images
Jay-Z
What he'd do: Probably his verse from "Diamonds From Sierra Leone (Remix)."
Odds that he'll actually show up: You can almost count on it — they’re buds. But will he really want to watch Kanye top his own underwhelming MSG shows from last week? 1:2
Chris Martin
What he'd do: Sing the hook from "Homecoming." Also, we would sleep soundly tonight if Martin, all scrunched-faced and serious, throws up the Roc-A-Fella diamond.
Odds that he'll actually show up: Pretty good. There's a new Coldplay album out in a month; if it doesn't sell, the music business will die, so it's unlikely Martin would pass up a chance to promote it. 2:1
Cam'ron
What he'd do: His awesome verse from Late Registration's "Gone," presumably.
Odds that he'll actually show up: Not good. Sadly, Cam is no longer famous enough to be allowed in Kanye's spaceship. 10:1
Mos Def
What he'd do: Croon, off-key, to "Drunk and Hot Girls."
Odds that he'll actually show up: Kanye would have to trick him into thinking he was auditioning for a Spike Jonze movie to lure him back near a stage. 20:1
LeBron James
What he'd do: Take notes. Mark our word, King James will have an ill-fated deal with Roc by the time he signs with the Knicks.
Odds that he'll actually show up: Well, the Cavs are off tonight. Still, Jay-Z's BFF popping up at a rap concert in the midst of a playoff series would be fodder for months of livid, confused columns from the nation's bitter, old sports reporters. 30:1
Daft Punk
What they'd do: The usual — push buttons. Not talk.
Odds that they'll show up: The actual reclusive Frenchmen? 500:1 Roc-A-Fella's forgotten hope Young Gunz mugging in rented robot suits? 5:1
Barack Obama
What he'd do: Well, at least he wouldn't be wasting his time in West Virginia.
Odds that he'll actually show up: 1,000:1
Mahmoud Abbas, Ehud Olmert, and a representative from Hamas
What they'd do: Sit down for some sort of impromptu Israeli-Arab peace brokering between "Never Let Me Down" and "Roses."
Odds that they'll actually show up: Highly unlikely, even for an MC as hot as Kanye. But this would definitely force curmudgeonly EW reporter Chrill Willman to reconsider that measly B+. 10,000,000:1 —Amos Barshad and Ben Mathis-Lilley
Damn, she looks good!Photo: Getty Images
"Well, actually, I haven't had a dog in a number of years," she told us. Lansbury is 82, but it's not for lack of vitality that she's going without (she couldn't get a cab to the party, so she walked). No, the reason is much simpler: heartache. "I can't bear to leave them. I did have a dog, a little poodle, which, sadly, was so upset when I went to do a play in New York that he just walked away." She was living in California at the time, and when she got home, she led extensive efforts to locate the wandering poodle, but with no success. It "walked away"??? This is perhaps the saddest thing we ever heard. These days she lets her grandchildren handle the dogs in the family, because she's still too busy to commit. "I refuse to have a dog now unless I can stay in one place to nurture it." Cheyenne Jackson and his boyfriend may have settled down and adopted a five-months-old Rottweiler, but Angela Lansbury is so far still playing the field. —Benjamin Proffer
Lynda Barry’s exquisite sensitivities—to art-making, growing up, growing older—burst forth in her latest book, a powerful admixture of memoir and textbook, collage and cartoon. Since we hardly know how to describe the tome other than to say it’s fantastic, we’re grateful that Barry will talk with Hillary Chute at the Comic and Cartoon Art Festival, plus add another layer to her text at an upcoming Strand reading. In the meantime, savor this multifaceted story.
A winning creation by Chris Benz.Photo:
‘Fur’ Sure [Daily Fashion Report]
Photo: Getty Images
R. Kelly Jury Stocked With Haters: A fourth juror has been selected in R. Kelly's child pornography trial, "a college student studying criminal justice who says she wants to be a police officer." We suppose it could be worse; they could've picked Jay-Z. [Chicago Tribune]
American Idol Now Television's Most Popular Show by Slightly Less Huge Margin: The ratings for last week's two episodes of American Idol were the lowest in years, and viewership is down 18 percent from last season. If this alarming trend continues, Idol could lose its status as TV's most-watched show by 3059. [AP]
L.A. Times Politely Disagrees With Janet Maslin, Fries Frey: Providing a nice counterpoint to Janet Maslin's rave review of James Frey's new novel is the L.A. Times' David Ulin: "Bright Shiny Morning is a terrible book. One of the worst I've ever read." [LAT]
MoMA Kills Exhibit: Literally! It was a living coat of mouse stem cells which had to be killed because “It was growing too much.” This is horrifying. [NYT]
Chairman, president, and chief executive officer Howard Socol of Barneys has resigned, we just learned from WWD. He'll remain with the company until the end of June, and Barneys will hire a search firm to find a successor. Since he started in 1991 Socol opened four flagships, fifteen Co-op stores, and two outlets and led the company from bankruptcy to profitability:
“After more than seven of the greatest years of my long career in retail, I felt it was time to take time to enjoy all the opportunities that life affords,” he said. “I felt strongly about remaining with the company for a short period following the sale to Istithmar as well as through the opening of our Las Vegas flagship. With the sale process well behind us and the Las Vegas location having opened in January of this year, this is the appropriate time to move forward."
Well, that confirms the rumors.
Socol Steps Down at Barneys [WWD]
Related: New Owners Could Prompt Barneys Chief to Resign
Photo Courtesy CW
Blake & Penn's Romantic Getaway [People]
Earlier: 'Gossip Girl' Gives Us the High of Our So-Called Lives
Robert Rauschenberg, Overdrive (1963)Courtesy of Sotheby's
Earlier: Robert Rauschenberg Dies at 82
Photo: WireImage
"We've got three or four songs. We wrote a cool song called Hotel and another called Yellow Tights."I've always loved music. I started playing guitar a few years ago and I'm not Jimi Hendrix or anything, but it's relaxing to play some music."
Agyness said she knows people will take the mickey out of her musical efforts.
But she added: "I think you should do what makes you happy."
Carpe diem, sister! Since we'll never become rock-and-roll stars, maybe we can run some song ideas by you, Aggy? We've just been dying to share. We have a great song about our high-school prom dress called "Pink Taffeta." And of course, the follow-up to "Yellow Tights," "Sheer Pantyhose." You'll call us, right? Right?
AGYNESS ROCKS [British Vogue]
Related: Agyness Deyn's Music Video Premieres!
Jessica Dimmock's Joey and the wall of his bedroom (2005)Photo: Courtesy of Foley Gallery
Misty watercolored Bonnies...Photo: Getty Images
On the bright side, Fuller will remain editor-at-large at Star magazine — you can't expect her to walk away from it all, can you? As long as there are celebrities with thighs, this lady's got a job to do. —Jessica Coen
That little girl in the purple coat is waiting for that guy in the Santa hat to move out of the way. If he does not, she will kill him.Photo: Getty Images
This much was evident over the Christmas holidays when we found ourselves in Rockefeller Center and sent our friend, senior editor Jessica Coen, a text reading: Omg, I hate plowing through the Rockefeller Center and Radio City tourists every day. I literally just want to tackle every one of them from behind, grab their heads in my hands and bash them into the concrete.
Seriously, we used to be lovely.
Acocella, for her part, thinks that New Yorkers are no-nonsense but pretty nice overall. She writes:
It is said that New Yorkers are rude, but I think what people mean by that is that New Yorkers are more familiar. The man who waits on you in the delicatessen is likely to call you sweetheart. (Feminists have gotten used to this.) People on the bus will say, "I have the same handbag as you. How much did you pay?" If they don't like the way you are treating your children, they will tell you. And should you try to cut in front of somebody in the grocery store checkout line, you will be swiftly corrected.
She doesn't really get into why New Yorkers are sometimes short-tempered, but here is our answer: We’re constantly surrounded by people. We live on top of each other in apartments for which we pay too much and which are too small (as we type, we can hear our neighbor’s cell phone going off and it’s on vibrate). We live in the most expensive city in the country so we always feel poor. We have to walk to get everywhere so it takes more physical effort to get places. There are tourists everywhere, and since they don’t have to be at work, they move more slowly than the rest of us, and they don’t know where they’re going so they just stand in the way. It’s enough to drive a person to drink, if we could afford cars, parking, and the $12 cocktails. But the fact that we have to work so hard to live here only makes us love it more. It's also incredibly fun and enriching, and really good pizza is always available.
Disagree? Well, fuck you! —Noelle Hancock
You got a problem with that? [Smithsonian Mag]
2-gether 4-ever!Photo: Getty Images
Onward! We open with Audrina looking at a hip downtown loft with her Zen master Justin Bobby. As he points out, this is perfect for her because she can be like: "I can come home and go in my refrigerator, I can go home and cook something, I can go and have people over." Right, every girl's dream. And as for being removed from her friends in Hollywood, the J.B. notes, "The beautiful thing about down here is only you will know where you are at." We think he means that both literally and figuratively. But has she talked to Lauren about this yet? he asks. The silence is deafening. Cue the rain on our skin!
This episode boils down to the only things that matter in Hills-ville: Heidi and Spencer, and the Lauren-Lo-Audrina mess. In Vegas, Heidi's tooling around with the Bolthouse folks and prepping for her new career as a hotelier or something (har), though we don't quite trust that she's processed any of the information being presented to her. Lauren is becoming increasingly concerned about the drift between herself and Audrina, and after some chitchat with Whitney (remember her? She used to be important and then disappeared with no explanation), she resolves to talk to Audrina before the girl wordlessly moves out of her slave's quarters once and for all.
Meanwhile, Spencer has no idea that Heidi's working in Vegas, so he's shacked up in Heidi's apartment all by his lonesome. Stephanie finds him there and reveals that Heidi's in Vegas. Spencer's response: "We're going to Vegas." He looks almost disappointed not to have a bro handy for a high-five at this exact moment. And so Team Pratt hits Vegas to win Heidi back. Stephanie doesn't want to be an accomplice, which is interesting since she was the one who completely sold out Heidi's location, got in the car with Spencer, and then called Heidi to find out, casually, where she was dining that night — of course, without mentioning that either Pratt was in town. Stephanie, do you even know what words like "accomplice" mean?
Spencer dutifully crashes Heidi's business dinner, which would be mortifying if you didn't know it was all part of the masterfully crafted Speidi game. He practically begs for her to come back to L.A. and to him, but she stalks back in to the restaurant, where her business folks are very awkwardly calling it a night. Boss Bolthouse gives her a professional spanking: "Listen, you gotta get that under control." Heidi's left sitting in her pleather dining booth, head artfully held in her hands.
Back on the ranch, Lauren is trying to cook dinner for Lo and Audrina — Lo is making a solid effort to eat all the cheese before Audrina gets there and is also "nervous" to go into Audrina's slave's quarters. Lauren decides to talk to Audrina, and Lo seems giddy to have her hands cleaned of the whole thing. And then we see Audrina walk by the house on her way out, completely ditching the dinner to which she was invited. We love this! Like she's going to just go in the house and eat Lauren's sloppily chopped tomatoes at their beck and call?
The next day in Vegas, Bolthouse and the investor types are waiting downstairs for Heidi, annoyed that she's late. They eventually leave without her, and you know she's so fake-fired from that fake-job. Stupid girl, where are — oh wait! Cut to the hotel's interior, and Spencer and Heidi are coming down the escalator together. It's a poignant shot, you have to hand it to the show's cinematographers. And so the two are reunited at last, though apparently with no concern for her professional life. (Not that the job really counts, but if we're going to play along with the illusion that these girls work, we'd appreciate it if Heidi did as well.)
Back to Casa del L.C.: Lo is still griping about Audrina's general suckage, and Lauren is finally prompted to go out to Audrina's slave's quarters and discuss the trio's problem. The girls dissect the situation: Audrina feels weird going into the main house, and that makes Lauren and Lo feel weird. And now everyone's "bummed out," and Audrina feels ignored by Lauren. And then Audrina drops the bomb: "I feel like Lo is pushing us apart." Well, duh — but of course Lauren doesn't see it, and now she's crying. And so we close this season with one final question: How does she wipe her tears without smearing her masterfully applied liquid eyeliner?
And now, once and for all, our Unequivocal Hills Reality Index!
As Fake As Heidi's Boobs
• Stephanie Pratt's loyalty to Heidi — she sold her out to Spencer after about half a second's contemplation.
• The possibility of Audrina moving into a massive artist's loft in downtown Los Angeles. Please — this girl can't live more than ten minutes away from the Grove and we know it.
• Lo's concern that Audrina's unhappy with the living situation — let's be honest here: Even by reality-television standards, Lo is a terrible actress.
• Heidi's job. Like she honestly had a job as a project manager at a major Vegas hotel project? If she were a real career woman, she wouldn't have blown it off for her bedraggled sketchpot stalker boyfriend.
As Real As Lauren Is Awkward
• Spencer's mission to Vegas. The guy really does think it's super awesome to win his girl back by crashing her business trip, like a John Hughes movie gone terribly awry.
• The puppy! We saw Chloe for all of three seconds, but she was there!
• Audrina's "not gonna take it anymore" attitude. Why would she put up with being sidelined in the slave's quarters when she can get just as much camera time living elsewhere? A whole Audrina Breaks Out on Her Own plotline would be great for next season!
• Lauren's total naïveté about Lo's being a tremendous bitch. Those tears came from the pain of looking clueless on camera. Aches, doesn't it? —Jessica Coen
Clockwise from top left, camera cuff links, Lanvin accessories, Armani army shoes, floral dress, Hermès Kelly bag, and seersucker blazer.
Camera Cuff Links
Price: $45
Why we like it: These cuff links from the early fifties feature a vintage camera. Just take a look at the bottom-right corner at the word “argus” as in the Argus camera company, which was founded in the thirties.
Bakelite Bracelet and Necklace by Lanvin
Price: $235 per piece
Why we like it: These mod sixties accessories look brand-new, and the bold color-blocking is so now.
Italian Army Shoes by Giorgio Armani
Price: $85
Why we like it: Armani designed these shoes in the seventies for the Italian army to train in, so says the shopgirl at Amarcord in Soho. Unreal! It’s like announcing that our beloved Marc Jacobs is designing kicks for the Marine Corps — so otherworldly. Love.
Floral Dress
Price: $72
Why we like it: Pair this bold eighties floral dress from Atomic Passion’s East Village store with a pair of gladiator sandals, and the look screams Balenciaga spring '08.
Kelly Bag by Hermès
Price: $4,250
Why we like it: Because it’s the Kelly bag from Hermès! 'Nuff said.
Seersucker Blazer
Price: $85
Why we like it: This men’s blazer is a rare find from the sixties since it’s virgin vintage. That means it’s never been worn, sold, or even handled outside the plastic it gets shipped in. —Sharon Clott
Julie really loves her work.Photo: Melissa Hom
You’ve worked in so many areas of fashion, from running Meisel’s studio to casting fashion shows for Marc Jacobs to consulting for advertising campaigns. Which was your favorite?
I like them all. Really the common thread is that I like making things happen. I love when Steven Meisel would come to me at 5 p.m. and say, "I need a vintage carousel on set tomorrow." They’re all projects I really believe in, and I’ve always been very lucky to work with great people.
In one issue of V, you featured an actress from Buenos Aires, an American composer, Catherine McNeil, and Gwen Stefani. With such a diverse range, how can you tell if something is really V?
We think of V like standing in front of a TV store where there are 50 different screens each on a different channel. It’s fashion, it’s wacky, it’s witty, it’s all that great stuff.
Julie in her office. Don't you wish yours looked like
that?Photo: Melissa Hom
V found model Amanda Laine with the V! a Model contest earlier this year. Why did you pick her?
Well, we wanted to create a modeling contest where the winners would actually work. Where are Tyra Banks's girls going? We wanted to find someone who would work the runways and showrooms and, of course, editorials. We had the huge group narrowed down to two girls and couldn’t decide. Then I saw Amanda’s walk — very confident, a little sassy but not in a TV way — and we knew. She went on to be the fit model for Miu Miu and Prada and walk incredible shows.
What was the first designer item you bought?
Back in Australia the first thing I bought was a Helmut Lang coat with a soft shoulder. In New York, the first thing I can remember is a Prada coat. I’d been working for Steven Meisel for a year, and I decided to treat myself. I blew my whole bonus on it. It’s from when Miuccia first started at Prada, so it’s military-inspired, almost a uniform.
Which designers do you love?
Yohji Yamamoto, Y-3, Givenchy, YSL, Junya Watanabe, Dolce & Gabbana, Maison Martin Margiela, Sonia Rykiel. And Lanvin’s pretty great too. Those dresses are so ultimately flattering.
And up-and-coming designers?
I think it’s hard to be a young designer nowadays. People say Phillip Lim is a new designer, but he’s got a store! We're more concerned with designers so new that they can’t pay for their fabric. Those are the ones we can really help, and we’re really committed to nurturing that young talent. But I do like Ohne Titel, Adam Kimmel, and Louise Goldin.
How would you describe your personal style?
Simple. I’m very busy with my two kids and my two dogs and two magazines and a husband at the bottom of that list. So what I wear has to be functional. I have to be able to move around. But I also like pieces that are edgy — I love Japanese design. Also, back in Australia we have a saying: “mutton dressed as lamb.” I think it’s very important to dress your age.
What item should every woman have in her closet?
A good granny brooch, I’m talking with diamonds or real jewels. You can pin it on a shirt or a sweater when it’s colder. It’s just important to have a very personal piece of jewelry.
Any fall trends you’re excited about?
Luxurious, understated bags in skins. Architectural shoes. Tartan. Black lace, lots of black.
What trends do you wish would go away?
None really, because that’s what makes fashion great. What comes around goes around. The shoulder pad came in, then it’s gone. The legwarmer came in, then it’s gone. I embrace all trends.
Admit it: You want one too.Photo: Courtesy of Chanel
Where do you shop?
I love online shopping: Net-a-Porter and eLuxury. Bergdorf Goodman and Neiman Marcus have great online sites too. You can sit down at your computer on a Sunday afternoon, order something, and have it by lunchtime on Monday. I also love American Apparel. Once in a while I go into one of my favorite stores and try on everything. Then, of course, you only buy what you like, but it’s really, really fun. Also, sometimes people offer you Champagne or whatever, and I never take that. For me, shopping is business: I do it, and then I get back to my life.
What’s the last thing you bought in a store?
Pierre Hardy ankle boots in tan leather with a cutout toe and stacked heel. They’re pretty great.
Gladiators: pro or con?
I like gladiators on the right leg.
Is your closet organized or messy?
Very organized. I clean it out once a month and shop in two monthly installments. Sometimes you see pictures of celebrity closets and they have like 300 pairs of jeans. It doesn’t make sense. If you know your body and your style, you don’t need all that.
What can't you live without?
Chuck Price's twelve-foot-high gold lightning bolt.
—Kendall Herbst
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