Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures

Thomas Friedman deserves a pie in the face...

• because of his sickeningly cheery applaud for free market capitalism's conquest of the planet
• for telling the world that the free market and techno fixes can save us from climate change. From carbon trading to biofuels, these distractions are dangerous in and of themselves, while encouraging inaction with respect to the true problems at hand.
• for helping turn environmentalism into a fake plastic consumer product for the privileged
• for his pure arrogance.
• as the only way to compensate for the ridiculousness of having this fool speak on Earth Day.

On behalf of the earth and all true environmentalists — we, the Greenwash Guerrillas, declare Thomas Friedman's "Green" as fake and toxic to human and planetary health as the cool-whip covering his face.

Photo: Getty Images

Clockwise from top left: Vera Wang, Maria Sharapova, Richie Rich, and Anna WintourPhoto: Getty Images

Admittedly, he played the part well, but we couldn't stop thinking about Grimus or Padma Lakshmi while he gave Hunt a sonogram. So, we cornered her during dinner at Nobu 57 after the screening: Why Rushdie? "There is scene with a prayer, and I wanted to introduce the possibility that everyone was praying to someone different. I thought that character should be played by someone Indian, so we can't necessarily assume who everybody is praying to." Was M. Night Shyamalan not available? "That somehow led to Salman hearing about it and wanting to audition. He got the part, and suddenly this novelist was my obstetrician. He sought me out, and I thought he was wonderful." —Amy Preiser

Hear more about the movie from stars Colin Firth, Bette Midler, and others at our complete coverage of the Then She Found Me screening.

Ice Cube Not Sorry for Acting Like Anus

Getty Images

2. Bruce Springsteen, "I'm on Fire (Cousin Cole's Bad Desire Mix)"
You can't really improve on the Boss's version, but Cousin Cole keeps his beats out of the way on this remix and stokes the flames of the original nicely. [Discobelle]

3. Phil the Agony feat. Talib Kweli, "Think Green"
To celebrate Earth Day, Phil and Talib are printing their lyrics on recycled paper and trading their Escalades for luxury hybrids so they can "think green, whether it be money or the trees." Pretty good for holiday music. [Notes From a Different Kitchen]

4. Mates of State, "Get Better"
The husband-wife duo return with a track that talks about "voting in circles" and the difference between "a serious vote" and "a party of jokes," before offering the almost optimistic chorus "things are gonna get lighter, even if they never get better." From now on, we're relying exclusively on indie rock for our election coverage. [Yellow Stereo]

5. Little Jackie, "The Stoop"
Little Jackie pulls off the nifty trick of making the stoop of a brownstone in Bed-Stuy sound like just about the best place in the world. She's obviously cribbing Lauryn Hill and Amy Winehouse, but she holds her own. [Music Ramen]
—Ehren Gresehover

M.A.C’s ‘Naughty Nauticals’; Nail-Polish Chemicals to Avoid

The colors of M.A.C's new cosmetics collection.Photo: M.A.C Cosmetics

NAILS
• Nail polish might contain crappy ingredients (kinda why it smells bad, ya know?), but you should avoid polishes with certain chemicals, including resin, camphor, ethyl acetate, and formaldehyde resin. You want your nails to be healthy, right? [All Lacquered Up]

HAIR
• The people behind the new Kerastase Resistance keep sending us press releases about how this product really does fix damaged hair. But look here, flatiron addicts: We've found someone who says it works. [Allure Beauty Reporter]

• Kooba-bag designer Abbe Held uses Biolage Curl-Defining Crème, since she doesn’t have time to blow-dry. Which is good, because if she blew her hair straight, then she’d end up with damaged hair and have to buy the above product. [Daily Obsession]

• L’Oréal is fighting Zotos International (part of Shiseido) for trademark infringement. Apparently, the Redken bottle's skyscraper shape is too similar for comfort. [WWD]

SKIN
• The $85 Regency 120 Papaya Coconut travel shaving set from Whish promises the perfect shave, but it didn't measure up to its hype. The shaving brush broke the second time this tester tried it. [Product Girl]

Finally! A Book That Explains Liposuction to Kids

Photo: Courtesy of Big Tent Books

The story focuses on a teddy bear-clutching little girl whose mother is about to go in for a nose job and a tummy tuck. In the book, the mother tells her child: “You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn’t fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to fix that and make me feel better.”

Could this be the inception of an untapped genre of literature? Since it was mocked on the Today show this morning, probably! Perhaps soon we’ll be seeing a boom in children’s books designed to help wealthy kids cope with the pressures of privilege. Other suggested reading could include Heather Has Three Nannies, Daddy Has Two Indictments for Stock Fraud, or its sequel, Daddy Has to Go Away Now But He’ll Be Back in 8 to 12 Years.

Fixing Mommy: Book Explains Plastic Surgery to Kids [NYS]
Related: A Kids Book About Plastic Surgery [Cut]

‘Totally Baked: A Pot-U-Mentary’: Yes, Better Than Its Title

Yes, 4/20 was earlier this week — we just forgot to tell you about this “pot-u-mentary” until now! If humor like that is actually your dime bag, you might find Lee Abbots’s sharp-witted, semi-balanced mockumentary (to use the proper pun) overly sophisticated. It combines Daily Show–style sketches, weed-related stand-up, and on-the-street interviews with a fictional narrative about an uptight dad and his pothead daughter, and lampoons everyone along the way. If watching this stoned doesn’t convince you of marijuana’s merits, we don’t know what will.

Exclusive Comics Excerpt: ‘M’

Today on the Comics Page, we're proud to present an excerpt from M, by Jon J Muth, based on the film by Fritz Lang. M is in stores this month from Abrams.

M, by Jon J Muth

Loch Ness Monster on 21st?

Bedford-Stuyvesant: City bus operator James Breland has lived in the hood for 57 years, and there is "nothing" about the area that he'd change (least of all that sweet-sounding three-story limestone he owns)! [Bed-Stuy Blog]
Chelsea: There's a Loch Ness monster on 21st between Sixth and Seventh! (Well, when the subway passes underneath, that is.) Watch this cool video! [Gothamist]
East Village: We've long waited for an excuse to feature the stream-of-consciousness, syntax-lite ramblings of this anti-development E.V. blogger, and today, dammit, we wait no longer. Oh, Suzannah! [Suzannah B. Troy]

Harlem:: Macy's may come to the big new office complex planned for 125th Street. It's changing so fast up here — can we at least get a black Santa at Christmas? [Real Deal]
Lower East Side: A landlord here is telling rent-stabilized tenants that the whole building's been deregulated, but many in the peanut gallery call this a nonkosher scam. [Curbed]
Park Slope: The redo of Prospect Park's Wollman Ice Rink — into not one but two ice rinks plus a roller rink! — will really cost $75 mil, not $50 mil, park officials confessed. [NYDN]
Williamsburg: When even a "former music writer" who lives near hipster club Studio B is complaining about the noise levels, you know locals ain't happy about the club's soon-to-open rooftop space. [VV via Williamsburg Is Dead]

David Cross on ‘Terra,’ Voice Acting, and Poop Scooping

Left: Cross. Right: Terra.Photo: Getty Images, Courtesy of MeniThings

You’ve done TV and movies in the past, but voice acting is a new project for you. How did you get involved?
Hold on, I have to pick up dog poop. I’m walking my dog Ollie. Okay, I’m back. I got an offer, which is kind of rare, to see if I was interested. So I went to L.A. and was impressed by their passion for it, and the project itself, and said I’d do it.

The film’s message echoes a lot of your politically charged stand-up.
Unless I’m talking about abortion.

You’ve played some fairly absurd characters in the past, so was it weird to play the voice of reason?
We kind of had that idea for the character from the beginning, so those were the instructions.

Is voice acting as easy as it looks?
It was the easiest gig in the world. You get so many times to do it. It’s not like anyone’s going, “Oh, shit, that was our only chance!” My schedule at the time was pretty tight, so I flew in over the weekend, sat in the booth, did the voice, and then went home. And then I had one more follow-up session in New York.

Any anecdotes from working with Luke Wilson and Evan Rachel Wood?
I sat in a booth by myself. That’s not uncommon in that business. I have a couple other voice-over things coming out, and only one gig was with another person.

What other projects are coming out?
Kung Fu Panda is coming out next month, and some movie, like, The Legend of Something Something.

You don’t remember the title?
Man, it was a while ago. Like, a year ago. And they don’t take very long to make. You’re just in and out of a sound booth in a matter of hours, so you forget about it. Legend of Secret Pass, that’s it. Or! The Secret of Legend Pass*. And there are some other ones sitting around — who knows when they’re going to be released?

Are you going to see any other movies at the Tribeca Film Festival?
I don’t even get to see my own. I haven’t seen [Terra] yet. I haven’t the slightest idea what’s playing. I’m going out to L.A. to film something else.

The HBO show that you and Bob Odenkirk are writing?
Yeah, David’s Situation. Bob and I are both writing it, and I’m starring in it. It’s not a traditional sitcom, and I play myself. I’ve left Hollywood, disgruntled, and I’ve moved to this gated community in suburban America where I live with a left-wing extremist and a right-wing extremist, and I’m in the middle. I write for an in-flight magazine. But we’re just going out to film the pilot at this point.

Will there be any crossover appearances from your old co-stars from Mr. Show and Arrested Development?
In the pilot we’ve got Matt Besser, Eric Hoffman, Mo Collins, and John Ennis.

Do you follow any other TV shows?
I’m a huge fan of Battlestar Galactica. To the point where I’ve forsaken every other show.
—Annsley Chapman

*Note: It's The Legend of Secret Pass.

Marcus Brauchli's Ouster: the ‘Journal’ Version vs. the ‘Observer’ Version

Photo: Getty Images, Patrick McMullan

From the Journal: “In recent months, the paper has begun putting more emphasis on shorter news stories and more general news, as part of a push by News Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch to broaden readership and to compete more directly with the New York Times.”
From the Observer: “‘Marcus said that Murdoch admires a lot of things that are reminiscent of the way Financial Times runs the paper—short, no jump stories,’ said a reporter from the Los Angeles bureau. … In Washington last week, while on a conference call with reporters, the current Page One editor Mike Williams spent much of the time talking to reporters about headline sizes. ‘He talked about changed the size of the headline type,’ said one Washington reporter. ‘There wasn’t a conversation about the quality of our stories. It came across like they’re scrambling in New York in trying to figure out what Murdoch wants. They want scoops.’”

From the Journal: “Current Journal publisher and former Times of London editor Robert Thomson isn't expected to take the title of interim managing editor, but he may take a more active role in the newsroom in the meantime.”
From the Observer: “‘My view of that situation is, and I’m hard-pressed to think how anyone could think of it differently, is Rupert Murdoch is the editor in chief of The Wall Street Journal,’ said Michael Wolff, the Vanity Fair columnist who is currently writing a book on The Journal’s transition to News Corp., and who has been regularly interviewing Mr. Murdoch these days. ‘In that position, he speaks to Robert Thomson, and then Robert Thomson speaks to Marcus Brauchli.’”

From the Journal: “About 10 days ago, Mr. Thomson and Dow Jones Chief Executive Officer Leslie Hinton summoned Mr. Brauchli to a meeting about his future, according to people familiar with the situation. They suggested it might be better to have their own person running the newspaper, these people say. He agreed, these people say.”
From the Observer: “Whether Mr. Brauchli was forced out, or whether he actually resigned—which virtually no Journal staffers believe—does not matter. The press release sent out by Dow Jones 16 hours after that Time story, and Mr. Brauchli’s own follow-up note to his staff, tell the story clearly enough. [Insert friendly quote about Brauchli here from Murdoch's statement] In other words: You’ve been useful so far; now, get out of town.”

From the Journal: “[Oversight committee members, assigned to ensure that Murdoch did not unduly influence the content of the paper] said they'd questioned Mr. Brauchli about his decision, and he had assured them that his exit had ‘nothing to with any integrity issue at the Journal.’”
From the Observer: “While visiting the Los Angeles bureau, [Brauchli] was asked whether The Journal was going to be able to retain its identity against the strong will of the newspaper’s new master. ‘As long as I’m here it will,’ he told the reporters, ‘but I don’t know much longer I’ll be around for.’”

From the Journal: “When News Corp. took over, Dow Jones had been a slow-growing company wounded by a disintegrating business climate for newspapers.”
From the Observer: “The old idea of The Journal was of a straight business newspaper wrapped in a magazine. That magazine could carry offbeat A-heds and stories from Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists that were the culmination of months of full-time reporting. It was the ultimate in acting luxurious with talent: to put months of hard labor and editing onto a newspaper page that would last a day on the stands before hitting the recycling bin.”

From the Journal: “Mr. Brauchli had commissioned work on a glossy magazine the year before, which became a prototype to be shown to the new owners, who were pushing for such a product. The prototype was revised to focus more on style and fashion, its name was changed, and a new editor was hired who had run a similar magazine at the Times of London.”
From the Observer: “Mr. Brauchli had selected an editor, Journal feature writer Robert Frank, to run their version of The Times’ wildly successful T magazines, and he had given it its name. But soon after Mr. Murdoch’s takeover was complete, Mr. Frank was kicked off the magazine and it was put directly in the control of Mr. Murdoch’s right-hand man at The Journal, the noted Murdoch loyalist Robert Thomson. Mr. Thomson installed an old News Corp. ally, Tina Gaudoin, to take over the project. The magazine was ripped apart, and renamed. And last week, it was Mr. Brauchli burning the shoe leather in California selling advertisers on the magazine that must have seemed to him an absolute rejection of his own editorial vision.”

Artist Judith Supine Makes Our Head Spin

Judith Supine’s Untitled (2008)Courtesy of English Kills Gallery

The New Rick Owens Store: Now With Bonus Fog

Owens (center) with two looks from his fall 2008 collection.Photo: Getty Images

“My look is about an appreciation of teenage angst without actually having the angst,” he has said in interviews, and compares his style to a Brancusi sculpture: “Just a slab of metal on a hunk of wood, but it's about the right piece of metal, the right hunk of wood and the perfect gesture.”

How does that translate into the design of his new Tribeca boutique? Owens told WWD he's "working on an aquarium-like wall installation that contains circulating fog." Hear those clicking heels? That's the sound of the Times' "Critical Shopper" running down there to start reporting. Hear that second set of clicking heels? That's us trying to get there first.

House of Fog [WWD]

Rumors of ‘Valkyrie’ Being a Huge Stinker Are Way Off Base, Claim Makers of ‘Valkyrie’

Courtesy of United Artists

According to UA executives, Valkyrie's delays — first from its planned opening in June, then again from a release in October during Oscar season — were simply a strategic move to maximize profits (it's currently due next February, a month in which $100 million dramas about infighting among Nazis are known to perform well), and the much-discussed reshoots were necessary only after a film reel got damaged in a lab accident, something we're sure probably happens all the time. The Times goes on to compare Valkyrie to other movies which triumphed over negative buzz, namely Titanic and Bram Stoker's Dracula (neither featured a Nazi as its protagonist, but still). So, really, you probably shouldn't be surprised when United Artists rolls out plans for a sequel.

The Nazi Plot That's Haunting Tom Cruise and United Artists [NYT]

Earlier: Hold Those Oscars! Tom Cruise's Nazi Movie Delayed Till February

Rogan Feels Guilty About Not Being in the Peace Corps

The green guys.

On the matter of Rogan's upcoming collaboration with Target, Gregory revealed that the idea came from his sibling. "My sister, who works in the Peace Corps, would say, 'I love what you do and I think it's important, but what about the people who can’t afford it?'" With his sibling off saving the world, does fashion feel, in comparison, a little frivolous? “Totally. My parents will get off the phone with me in some fancy hotel in Tokyo, and they’ll try to get ahold of my sister, in, like, wherever she is.… Bolivia, like the poorest fucking country in the world. Whereas I have, like, this pretty life in New York.” Aw. But at least you're helping us! —Kendall Herbst

Fergie's ‘Sex and the City’ Song: Yah or Blah?

"Aren't these tights so Samantha?"Photo: Getty Images

Of course, it doesn’t really matter what the song says. People will dance to ditties that simply repeat and dissect the word “umbrella” if they're set to a good beat. This one’s not great. We submit to the Window Test. We have the windows open today — high of 75! — and we had to crank the music up loud to decipher the lyrics. However, we quickly grew embarrassed and shut them before the neighbors starting judging us. So there you have it. Click here and judge for yourself. —Noelle Hancock

Fergie's "Labels Or Love" [Ali's Blog]

Filmmaker, FBI team up for justice

Michael Schumacher

‘The Riches’: The Kisses of Death

More sociopathic than we thought? Yes.Photo: Courtesy of FX

Edenfalls Cost of Living Index: Kisses and Kiss-offs Edition
DiDi’s headmaster tells her she’s headed for law or med school — if she beefs up her extracurriculars. Like all Ivy strivers, she finds a meaningless after-school group to join: the Leadership Council, where the prisses running the show wear “Cute and Celibate” T-shirts. DiDi scoffs, and then makes out with a soulful dude in the chapel. Blasphemous minx!

Sam, meanwhile, lurks backstage at a Buttercup Princess audition. Cautiously applying some makeup in the mirror (as he’s wont to do), he’s approached by a precociously sensuous redheaded girl. Instead of teasing him, she helps him apply the makeup and gives him a blush-inducing kiss. Progressive minx!

Moping around the Traveler’s camp, Cael is seduced by Rosalee, the sexy young widow who helped quasi-kidnap him last week, and who may be in cahoots with freaky Traveler leader Eamon Quinn. Crafty minx!

Boss Hugh is running for mayor so he can pull strings but needs 500 signatures within twelve hours! No worries: Wayne gets the names from a local parish and forges the sucker. As the board selects a contractor, Wayne passes over an Irish traveler in disguise, another tipped-off crony of Dale’s. To explain why he’s not as beholden to friends as other humans, Wayne shares a terrifying childhood story about setting fire to an orphanage as a child and stealing another kid’s money, and fires Dale as his mail guy and associate. Is Wayne more sociopathic than we thought?

Neighbor and secret-sharer Nina’s septic tank is broken, but she’s scheduled a birthday party for her openly gay-with-boyfriend husband, Jim. Drag-disco party at the Riches! Dahlia, digging out party supplies from the cupboard, finds $40,000 in cash. That’s the money they stole from the Traveler settlement; it’s also the cash Wayne claimed to have bribed Pete Mincey, the snoopy friend of the real Riches, with. In truth, of course, Dale accidentally bludgeoned him to death and Wayne helped dispose of the body. Dahlia was already suspicious since that P.I. showed up.

Wayne fesses up to Dahlia as the party’s in full swing, and she’s weeping gorgeously, resplendent in seventies finery. He says he covered up the killing to protect the family; she says “we lost our souls,” that Wayne wanted simply to stay put in “this cursed and godforsaken house.” Distraught, she falls off the wagon, snorting coke with two guys in drag and singing Meatloaf’s “Will You Love Me Forever?” Then she showers the revelers with the tainted cash.

Finally, Jim, dressed as Diana Ross, tenderly kisses Nina (as Cher) and tells her it’s “the best birthday party ever,” thanking her for sticking with him despite the gay thing. Then, during a game of charades, Jim has a heart attack and dies in the arms of his lover. Dale, banned from the house forever, encounters a mysterious, unseen stranger outside. Perhaps more than anyone, Dale, recently threatened by Wayne, looked like he could use a kiss — or at least a hug. —Justin Ravitz

Critics damn 'Gone With the Wind' musical

Steve Schwarzman's Great Library Gift, Writ Small

The locations of the small engravings of Schwarzman's name that will be added to the library.Photos: Christina Hribar

After Big Gift, a New Name for the Library [NYT]

Star Jones files for divorce

Ang Lee

Keith Richards Is Not One of Those Green People

Richards for Vuitton.Photo: Courtesy of Louis Vuitton

I can't say I'm bothered about the fate of the planet. I got a guitar case out of Louis Vuitton. They paid me a lot of money and it's all going to charity.

Something's just not right when Keith Richards is the only person we feel like we identify with. We're going to go recycle something now.

Keith Richards: My life in fashion [U.K. Times]

Dan Rather Back in Court and Feeling ‘Pretty Good’

LAW
• Dan Rather and his lawyers hit the courtroom yet again over the three remaining complaints in the former CBS anchor's $70 million lawsuit against the Eye network. [NYO]
• A judge temporarily blocked the renovation of the north-end Union Square park. [NYT]
• A Brooklyn judge pleaded guilty to stealing $160,000 from his aunt's estate. [NYT]

FINANCE
• Yahoo's earnings report came in at $1.35 billion, which is about $300 million more than Wall Street projected. But is that good enough to convince Microsoft to up the ante in its takeover bid? It doesn't look like it. [NYP
• JPMorgan is still mulling over which Bear Stearns employees to keep and which to let go. High-profile rainmaker Donald Tang is among those whose jobs are up in the air. [NYP]
• The general feeling at Citigroup's annual shareholders meeting was a tad bit murky yesterday as shareholders questioned executives and board members for four long hours. Regardless, the bank's directors were still reelected. [DealBook/NYT]

MEDIA
• Meanwhile, at the New York Times Company's annual meeting yesterday, chairman Arthur Sulzberger Jr. squelched rumors of a Times sale and discussed his four-point plan for turning the company around. Oh, and those two directors that everyone has been talking about were elected to the board, too. [NYT]
• CBS Evening News ratings hit a record low. [NYT]
• CNN launches its "League of First Time Voters" to help empower voters during this political season. [HuffPo]

REAL ESTATE
• In the last five years, more people have moved from Manhattan to La-La Land than the other way around. [NYO]
• Community Board 1 is really, really worked up about plans for developing the lot at 74 Hudson. [Curbed]
• A British firm may buy up Harry Macklowe's buildings. [NYP]

Tribeca Film Festival

The Real Reason Mariah Carey Brought a $20,000 Gym to London

Photo: Getty Images

She arrived with an entourage of 15 hairdressers, bodyguards and personal stylists and commandeered every penthouse suite in Claridge's, an exclusive Mayfair hotel. Carey, who admitted to insuring her legs for $2 million, also had a $20,000 personal gym installed in her own penthouse at Claridge's.

We're not that annoyed that she arrived with fifteen people to touch up her eyeliner, paint her nails, and guard the whole spectacle. We're annoyed by the gym part. She'll probably hold interviews there with the British press, personal trainer at her hip, to show them the moves that made her LOSE TWENTY POUNDS FAST! And spill her DIET SECRETS that made her a SIZE 2! Because, seriously, talking about her weight loss has been her main promotional strategy for the album this time around (just pick up any celeb weekly). Even in the Hills season premiere on which Carey performed, the hostess asked Carey how she stayed in shape (her answer was eating right, if you care). It's just kind of lame, because the woman has more going for her than the ability to not eat carbs and proteins in the same meal. She can sing, after all. And we probably shouldn't admit this, but that "Touch My Body" song is pretty catchy (we're not the only ones who like her music), so maybe talking about the tunes wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Mariah Carey rules out having kids [NYDN]

Laura Bush Can't Get Enough of Those Harry Potter Books

Laura and Jenna Bush, not at the 92nd Street Y, but in a similarly lit situation.Photo: Getty Images

When asked about their favorite books, the first lady said, “That is really hard for a librarian to answer.” She did, at one point, declare a fondness for the “inventive” Harry Potter books. “All the things like riding around on brooms,” Mrs. Bush said, and added, “I do love mysteries.”

“Anyone we can name?” Ms. Reed said. “Well, I do have to say I read the old classics,” Mrs. Bush replied.

First of all, that's the kind of answer-dodging you get out of a complete illiterate. Just sayin’. Second, she likes mysteries and fantasies — two of the administration’s specialties! As for Read All About It!:

It centers around Tyrone, a class-clown type — “I rule the school … I’m king of the monkey bars” — who has lots of friends but doesn’t like to read.

One guess as to who provided the inspiration for this one. —Noelle Hancock

It Takes a Children’s Book for Bushes to Play the Y [NYT]

Alex Rodriguez, Wife Welcome Second Baby Girl

Pop Tarts: Christina Ricci Sexually Harassed by Chimp

Star Jones Files for Divorce

FOX411: 'Idol': One CD Axed, Another Remains

Urban Outfitters’ New Capsule Collection Has an Uptown Feel

A look from Geren Ford.Photo: wwd.com

Geren Lockhart Launches Mini Collection for Urban Outfitters [WWD]

Reality Check: Webber Classes Up 'Idol'

Pro Hockey Player to Intern at Fashion Mag

Tom Cruise's son Connor to appear in film

Second Woman Comes Forward as Daniel Radcliffe Seeks Girl

How Hillary Clinton Made Us Hate Turquoise

Photo: Getty Images

If the jacket wasn't bad enough, she had to add the jewelry. But why?! Jewelry doesn't have to be the same color as one's clothes, especially when one looks like the Caribbean sea after an oil spill. It looks like she bought the jacket, earrings, and necklace in one plastic bag as part of a set, the way bad Halloween costumes come. Perhaps this is her way of saying hello to spring? Perhaps she's trying to appeal to voters by showing them that she, too, shops at affordable department stores? Guess it worked.

Marlee Matlin Cut From 'Dancing With the Stars'

Carla Bruni the No-show; Coutourier Designs for McDonald's

She totally would've showed if it were a Dior fund-
raiserPhoto: Getty Images

• Coutourier Bruce Oldfield redesigned the McDonald's uniforms for U.K. employees. Some say the monogram pattern on the new shirts look like a Louis Vuitton knockoff. [Telegraph]

• Less than seven months after Calypso was sold, founder and CEO Christiane Celle resigned. She couldn't deal with the new management. [WWD]

• Bally, the leather brand, has been sold. Management will remain intact. Brow: wiped. [British Vogue]

• The auction of Ralph Esmerian's jewelry collection was stopped at Christie's, but the Louvre still got a piece of it. The museum bought a brooch valued at $4 to $6 million, worn by Napoleon III's bride, Empress Eugénie, on her wedding day in 1853. No word on the price tag. [WWD]

• Kanye West is performing at another fashion party. This time he's celebrating the 25th anniversary of a Casio watch. We get that he's a dense person, but will someone please tell him he really doesn't need to perform at every fashion party on the planet? [WWD]

• Vivienne Westwood received an honorary Doctor of Letters degree from a Scottish university yesterday. "Doctor of Letters seems a little strange," she said. "But I have always been a reader, so I accept it on that basis." She's right — this story is totally random. [British Vogue]

• Threatening phone calls and letters are being directed at socialite Jemima Khan for her support of a Muslim organization that promotes religious tolerance. Apparently, people are still upset about the time she kissed Kate Moss in 2006 to raise $120,000 for a Palestinian children's charity. [British Vogue]

• Why was that Tom Ford ad banned in Italy last week, if these other racy ads depicting bare ass are okay? [Trendinista]

• Patrick Dempsey on filming Made of Honor: "I wore a kilt for the wedding scenes, but had to wear something underneath. I tried with nothing, but I was bitten all over by midges." As this paper says, some flies have all the luck. [Mirror]

• Elizabeth Hurley attended a promotional event in Madrid for her new Mango bikini collection, but didn't wear a bikini like the other models there. Blasphemy! [Daily Mail]

• Skinny bitch Victoria Beckham gets ice cream for her sons, but won't eat any of it herself. [Daily Mail]

'That's So Raven' Star Orlando Brown Reappears

Tom Cruise's Son in Movie; 1,000 Butterflies for Suri

No More Mambos for Marlee Matlin

'Idol' takes Fox to top

'I Go Crazy' singer Paul Davis dies

Al Wilson, hit No. 1 with 'Show and Tell,' dies

The real Charlie Wilson: 'War' got it right

'Harry Potter' Star Emma Watson Replaces Scarlett Johansson

Clint Eastwood's film is among those competing for the Palme d'Or