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Photo: iStockphoto
He doesn’t speak with an air of invincibility; he is soft-spoken and seems uncomfortable playing the role of a mogul. He looked as if he would be more comfortable in jeans and work boots than pinstripes and wingtips (he was wearing an off-the-rack blue suit). He lives in Manhattan, but says doing so is almost against his better judgment. “I wouldn’t mind living in a small town,” he said….When you meet him, when he looks you in the eye, when he talks about his brother-in-law the police officer, he is so genuine it seems like an accident he is on Wall Street.
"Was I wrong about Mr. Feinberg?" Sorkin concludes. "I might have been." Perhaps they shall marry!
Cerberus Recluse Lifts the Veil a Little Bit [DealBook/NYT]
Related: The Influentials [NYM]
Getty Images, Courtesy of Bandai Visual Company
Demi Wants Moore: Demi Moore has booked back-to-back roles in indie movies. She joins Woody Harrelson and Josh Hartnett in Bunraku, a martial-arts salmagundi of visual awesomeness. Moore will also star in the family drama Happy Tears with some indie newcomer named Parker Posey. [HR]
Lifetime Plays Its Trump: Lifetime has turned to Donald Trump to executive-produce a new scripted series. "Think Desperate Housewives in Trump Tower with The Donald narrating, and you get the idea of what we're after," said Lifetime. Think "uninspired programming" that "no one will watch" and you get the idea of how we're feeling. [HR]
Arrested Development Reunion! Sort of: Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Henry Winkler will voice parts in Mitch Hurwitz's upcoming animated pilot for Fox, Sit Down, Shut up. Series centers on teachers at a high school who are preoccupied with their lives and ignore the students. Obviously, Fox is vying for a slice of that lucrative high-school-teacher demographic. [HR]
Feldman Opens Can: Ben Feldman has joined the cast of CBS' Can Openers, a drama pilot about neurosurgeon residents. Feldman appears in the upcoming Friday the 13th movie, giving him some much-needed experience with brains, bones, and blood. We also heard he was in Cloverfield, but we had our eyes closed for most of it so who knows. [HR]
Hunting Nazis: The unfortunately named Breaking Ball Films has picked up the rights to William Diehl's spy novel, 27 (a.k.a. The Hunt). Story follows an American ex-bootlegger in the thirties who must stop a Nazi plan to kidnap businessmen in exchange for President Roosevelt's promise to stay out of World War II. Sheesh! They got the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, now this — what crazy scheme will the Nazis think up next?! [Variety]
What a difference an apron makes.Photo: NYP
GOV IS PLAIN CHEAP [NYP]
EVENTS
• Get to know the man behind Chado Ralph Rucci's eye-catching fur coats and sharp trousers. Ralph Rucci makes a personal appearance this afternoon at Bergdorf Goodman. Bergdorf Goodman, 754 Fifth Ave., at 57th St., fourth fl. (212-753-7300); 2–4.
SALES
STARTING TODAY
• Suits and separates from Italian designers are 30 to 50 percent off at L’Uomo. Starting today, all store stock is marked down. Through 4/30. 383 Bleecker St., at Perry St. (212-206-1844); Mon.–Sat. (11–7:30), Sun. (noon–7).
• Nick & Nora is moving so they're hosting a sample sale. The sale features women’s, men’s, and kids’ sleepwear and accessories (like pajamas, robes, slippers, etc.) marked down for under $50 per item. Cash only. Through 4/18. 35 W. 35th St., nr. Fifth Ave., fourth fl. (212-629-9500); Tues.–Fri. (11–6).
ENDING TODAY
• Missoni men’s and women’s clothing, scarves, and accessories are 50 to 75 percent off at the Fashions Group USA sample sale. Also find Alviero Martini handbags and leather goods and Dino Valiano sportswear with big discounts. Cash only. 530 Seventh Ave., nr. 38th St., Ste. 405 (212-221-7212); Mon.–Fri. (9–6).
• Perlina’s leather handbags and totes are up to 70 percent off retail. 10 W. 33rd St., nr. Broadway, Ste. 210 (212-268-8530); Mon.–Thurs. (9–6).
STARTING TOMORROW
• Jeweler John Hardy makes handmade jewelry inspired by the ancient culture of Bali and, for two days, is putting many of his designs on sale. Find major discounts on men’s and women’s jewelry in sterling silver, gold, diamonds, and gemstones for 60 to 75 percent off retail. Through 4/17. 601 W. 26th St., nr. Eleventh Ave., nineteenth fl. (212-219-4288); Wed.–Thurs. (10–5).
ONLINE
• The online store Rare Chic features a slew of great boutique designers. All full-price items are 25 percent off. Try the lightweight Edwin dress by Mike & Chris for $177 (originally $234) or the Vera dress by Erin Fetherston for $710 (originally $947). Just type MOVE25 at checkout for the discount. Today only.
'Dancing With the Stars' recap: Ocho So-So Entertainment Weekly - Latin Night is way too mild, as the final 8 neither shine nor embarrass with their sambas and rumbas. On the bright side, ''Kristianna'' skates past identity issues, Mario looks Wonder-ful, and the costumes and music were as ''loco'' as we'd hoped By ... We’ll Be the Judge of That! – Dancing with the Stars 6, April 14 Kristi Yamaguchi Reigns On ‘Dancing With The Stars’ |
 NECN | Today's forecast: Sunny, Highs in 60s Clarksville Leaf Chronicle - Today...Mostly sunny. Highs in the lower 60s. Light and variable winds...Becoming southeast 5 to 10 mph in the afternoon. Tonight...Clear. Lows in the upper 30s. Light and variable winds. Wednesday...Mostly sunny. Highs near 70. Sunny, windy, warm in Denver today Sunny, windy in county today |
There was a girl who ate a cockroach.
A real cockroach?
Well, they used chocolate cockroaches. But during a close-up, they made her hold a real one up to her lips. And then they didn't even show that part! Poor thing. For me — you probably saw glimpses of this — there was a ''stick dance.'' On set they'd told us my adversary was a very sweet girl, and I was [directed to be] raunchy, slapping my ass and everything. Then they had me shoot it again by myself. And you know that video by Whitesnake? I did that.
You did your best Tawny Kitaen?
Crawling, cooter slam, flipping the hair, the whole thing. It was awesome.
Should I ask the definition of ''cooter slam''?
Oh, a cooter slam is when you jump in the air, and you land into a split. You don't just find the split. You jump in the air, open your legs, and...Slam!
MILF Island was woven throughout 30 Rock's post-writers-strike premier. In this scene, TV executive Jack Donaghy recounts DeBorah's background as a "struggling artist living in LA:"
Also in the Entertainment Weekly article, Goodwin brainstormed some ideas for a spinoff, including one in which DeBorah does "all these serious interviews, but always half-naked."
If MILF Island really does get turned into a spinoff, pray that a comic writer like Tina Fey gets her hands on the concept before the reality television guys do. Pray hard.
Bonus! Three years ago, Johnny's friend John Ralston drew the 64 members of a 1925 college class in ink and watercolor.
Someone should go to Matthew's house and make him ruin a layer cake.
[via Boing Boing]
[YouTube]
She claims the author has lifted large chunks of her own language without quotation marks. “I believe that this book constitutes the wholesale theft of 17 years of my hard work,” she testified...
The entry under Remus Lupin, she said, missed the opportunity to comment on the etymology of the name as a “double allusion” to the character’s being a werewolf, since in Roman mythology Remus was raised by wolves, and Lupin derived from lupine.
She also objected to what she called the book’s “facetious asides,” like a comment about whether Hagrid could fit into a booth at McDonald’s.
[Times]
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Marc & I
Current mood: betrayed
Category: Life
Hillary Clinton, John McCain or Barack Obama won't have to compete with Oscar. And vice versa.
Academy Award organizers have announced that traditional nomination Tuesday will, for...
As Britney Spears knows all too well, Dr. Phil is ever ready to lend an ear and an opinion to those in distress. The TV doc is not in the practice of lending money, however.
A rep for...Marc Jacobs has been hovering near the overexposed danger zone for some time. Thanks to the spread T:Style devoted to him and French actress Elodie Bouchez clad almost entirely in stuff designed by him, he's finally crossed over. Why did the magazine devote six whole pages to this? Because Jacobs is overexposed but "everyone seems to neglect his work at Louis Vuitton and for his own label." Really? We were pretty sure no one's been able to stop talking about it and magazines have been continuously saturated with it, but hey, it's not like we read this stuff all day or anything. As for Bouchez, the magazine chose her because (a) she's the kind of person who can appreciate the way Jacobs's spring collection embodies "a new kind of sexiness with purposely disheveled, lingerie-inspired looks," (b) she's pregnant, which gives the spread that edgy je ne sais quois, and (c) Jacobs knows her because she's dating Thomas Bangalter of Daft Punk, who did the music for his spring Louis Vuitton show. All that said, the spread doesn't seem gratuitous at all, does it? Have a look-see and decide for yourself:
Jacobs's SpongeBob affinity is so quirky. He's even bold enough to tattoo him on his arm. How silly! But how would we know silly if we didn't know its antithesis to the right: Serious. Oh, juxtapositions…Photo: nytimes.com
In case anyone doubted they're real BFFs.Photo: nytimes.com
Jacobs can pull down her skirt and stick his face in her boobs because he's gay. If we were swathed in MJ stuff all day, we'd probably look like she does on the right, too.Photo: nytimes.com
A wedding veil, a robe, and a cartoon? How artistically zany!Photo: nytimes.com
They're so close they practice kissing together. Or do they? The intrigue deepens.Photo: nytimes.com
It's almost sexual now.Photo: nytimes.com
On the left, their expressions say, "Yeah, so what. We fondle each other and one of us is gay." On the right, it looks like she's finally gotten uncomfortable. Honey, we've all been there: What girl doesn't have a gay friend who thinks that because they're gay it's okay to get to frisky with body rubbing and stuff? Feel free to put that stiletto down. Or whack him in the face with that handbag. Whatever he responds to. Photo: nytimes.com
Weeds has sprouted a new star.
E! News confirmed Monday that actor-filmmaker Albert Brooks has signed on to appear in at least four episodes of the Showtime comedy's upcoming new season.
The...
Donnie Walsh and Jimmy Dolan just want you to like them.Photo: Getty Images
1. The headline "When Good Work Goes Bad" is all too reminiscent of the racial brouhaha that erupted last month.
2. Gwyneth Paltrow's eyebrows do not look like Gwyneth Paltrow's eyebrows. Her mouth also looks really weird.
3. Gwyneth appears to have inexplicably stolen a member of Daft Punk's helmet to use as an armrest.
4. Paltrow looks like the Tin Man's wife with those metal cuffs on both wrists.
5. Paltrow has the worst case of helmet hair we have ever seen.
Please do tell us what we missed.
Photo: Corbis
Now while our initial reaction to the story was something along the lines of “Oh” on day one and “Who cares?” by day four, clearly we should turn to Hank as a moral guide more often. Yes, the Yankees were the target of a harmless prank, but that’s no reason not to advocate a little vigilante-style violence! And the more we think about it, there are plenty of times we’re sure Hank’s levelheaded wisdom would come in handy. So we’ve compiled some of his greatest hits in one spot for future generations to reference and repeat — kind of like a one-man version of Bartlett’s. Let’s just hope those quote-filled high-school yearbooks haven’t gone to print yet.
On generosity:
"I don't want [small-market teams] in general to forget who subsidizes a lot of them, and it's the Yankees, the Red Sox, Dodgers, Mets. I would prefer if teams want to target the Yankees that they at least start giving some of that revenue sharing and luxury tax money back. From an owner's point of view, that's my point." [ESPN]
On diplomacy:
"Being insulted by [Red Sox closer Jonathan] Papelbon is like being attacked by a mouse." [Boston Globe]
On modesty and perspective:
“Red Sox Nation? What a bunch of [expletive] that is. That was a creation of the Red Sox and ESPN, which is filled with Red Sox fans. Go anywhere in America and you won’t see Red Sox hats and jackets, you’ll see Yankee hats and jackets. This is a Yankee country. We’re going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order.” [NYT]
On encouraging one’s employees:
“Does he [Alex Rodriguez] want to go into the Hall of Fame as a Yankee or a Toledo Mud Hen?” [NYT] —Joe DeLessio
For more wit and wisdom from the mouth of Steinbrenner, see our recount of his contradictory rhetoric over the Yankees' efforts to trade for Johan Santana, and his repeated insistence that he is "not stupid."
Photo: Getty Images
2. Ying Yang Twins, "Drop"
Their upcoming album is called Ying Yang Twins for President, but the only thing this new single will get them elected to is the Beastie Boys fan club. [First Up]
3. Robyn Hitchcock, Nick Lowe, and Elvis Costello, "Mystery Train" (live)
A sublime cover recording of the Junior Parker and Sam Phillips classic, marred only slightly by the loud, obnoxious drunk guy standing near the microphone. [Architectural Dance Society]
4. Overdub, "Come As the Starlight"
At last, Internet mash-up artists have combined Nirvana's "Come As You Are" with the Superman Lovers’ “Starlight." Finally. [Mashuptown]
5. Daniel Ahearn, "Down for the Count"
Not long ago, some sketchy dude stole all of Ahearn's synthesizers. Why not make him feel better by stealing a few of his MP3s? [Bon Ton]
—Ehren Gresehover
Photo: Getty Images
Model for sail [Page Six Magazine (not online)]
Christine Schutt’s latest is set at an elite UES private school (like the one she teaches at), but bucks any comparisons to Gossip Girl. Astra Dell, a Waspish, beautiful senior, contracts a rare disease at the start of the school year and casts a kind of lugubrious pall over her fellow classmates and teachers. Her plight, set against the strivings and shenanigans of her friends and family, proves the puffy prep-school genre can shoulder real emotional weight — and that indeed, it sometimes should.
Richard Pettibone’s Andy Warhol, ‘Two Kellogg’s Corn Flakes Boxes,’ 1964, #1 (2007).Courtesy of Leo Castelli Gallery
Photo: Getty Images
The Taming of Merrill Lynch [Portfolio]
No, Chris Martin has not suddenly handed over the Coldplay reins to Ricky Martin.
But we understand any confusion after Mr. Gwyneth and his bandmates announced Monday...
Crime scene investigation no longer pays for Gary Dourdan.
The CSI star, who has been with the ratings-grabbing CBS franchise since its 2000 debut, has chosen not to renew his contract, paving...
Kristen Bell: Oh, yes, she di-id.Photo: Getty Images
• Spinlash is a new $15 mascara brush that rotates to coat and comb mascara onto lashes. Raise your hand if you can say gimmick! [Spoiled Pretty]
FRAGRANCE
• Next month, Naomi Campbell releases Seductive Elixir, a fragrance inspired by Africa with notes of hibiscus blossom, pomegranate, red pepper, sandalwood, and musk. We wonder if it has, you know, calming effects. [Now Smell This]
• Fragrance sales were down last year because, industry sources say, the people who sell them lack enough knowledge to do so. We're no fragrance experts, but we'd guess the typical spraying-people-in-department-stores routine might also have something to do with it. [Cosmetic News]
• In the new book Perfumes: The Guide, authors Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez reveal their favorite perfume is Mitsouko. [Now Smell This]
HAIR
• No matter how silky soft that flat-iron makes your hair, it's still damaging it. The CHI 44 Iron Guard spray promises to prevent damage to hair when flat-ironing and add shine without weighing down strands. This blogger swears buy it. [Style Bell]
Richie Sambora might not be wanted dead or alive, but he could soon find himself on the wrong end of the law.
Laguna Beach police are recommending that Sambora be charged with child endangerment...Carroll Gardens: The granting of a liquor license to a Hoyt Street oyster bar has led to a feud more bitter than the working classes of Pennsylvania, a row that threatens to tear this bucolic enclave apart at its very core. [Gowanus Lounge]
Coney Island: A big safety fence on the broken boardwalk is blocking foot traffic from getting to Lola Staar and other stores, and the owners are pissed about it! [Kinetic Carnival]
Fort Greene: Some vendors at the absurdly hot new Brooklyn Flea Market think the key to success is to sell dusty old crap for cheap rather than nice new stuff for real money. [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn]
Harlem: One of the leaders in the fight against the rezoning of 125th Street is a former Atlanta firefighter who put himself through NYU modeling for Wilhelmina. And damn, this brother's cute! [NYDN]
Midtown East: On 39th Street, the ancient Moulded Shoes store will "balance your feet" and maybe even treat you to their 120-year-old bunion-pressing machine. You know you want it. [Jeremiah's Vanishing New York]
Park Stratton: In this section of the Bronx, there is a beloved car mechanic who is legally blind. Take that, Guv Paterson! [Talk Bronx]
Upper East Side: The East 71st Street townhouse that was the gallery for out-of-luck art dealer Lawrence Salander is now on the market for $75 million — the highest price ever asked for a Manhattan manse. [NYT]
Photo: Getty Images
Why did you decide to leave Jersey Boys?
I honestly can't believe I even stayed as long as I did, but there was always something outrageous happening — the last show I did, Lauren Bacall was in the audience! It's a hard thing to turn your back on. But I was saying those speeches so many hundreds of times, there were times when my mouth was moving and my body was running across the stage but the words had lost all meaning. It was like, "Okay, this might be a good time to kind of … challenge my brain."
So how did Candide come to you?
The casting director had seen me play the part when I was 20 years old at the University of Michigan, and because of the success of Jersey Boys, he called and told them to check me out. I got cast after just a couple auditions. It's funny — the two least grueling auditions I've had in my life were for Jersey Boys and Candide.
What was the Jersey Boys audition like?
It's a cute story. I came in — and this is for the show Jersey Boys that no one had ever heard of, not "the pre-Broadway production" — so I said sure, but I didn't really feel that excited. I sang "Oh What a Night," and as I was leaving, I said, "Oh, I play the piano too." A couple weeks later, the show was mine. If you could believe it, I wanted to stay with my gang in New York City so much that I was trying to get another job so I didn't have to go to California for three months! But, well, I didn't get another job, so I had to do this louuuusy show called Jersey Boys [laughs].
Was it hard to switch gears when you were getting into another character for Candide?
The only thing that's hard about shaking Jersey Boys is that I still say "sawng" and "lawng" and "pa-rents." I think part of the reason I'm so happy to be doing this now is that I feel like I'm losing myself in something totally different and so funny. They're both very young and naïve and grow a lot through their journey. But Candide is whipped and flogged, his lover is killed three times over, he's kidnapped by the Bulgarian army. Bob Gaudio just ended up making a lot of money from records.
Well, they're similar characters in a way — they're both definitely virgins.
You're absolutely right. That's a good point. I seem to specialize in these very innocent-hearted characters, which is funny because I have an innocent side but I can be a bad boy too. I’m a Gemini, though; that's to be expected.
Is there a specific Bob fan base that you think will be following you to Candide?
Well, there were always the Frankie people, who liked the guy with the high voice; and the Tommy DeVito fans, who liked the bad boy; the Nicks, who like the kinda dangerous, mysterious type. And then the Bob people, who like the good boy, the wholesome, hardworking, driven…
Underappreciated?
Seriously! But at the stage door, these women would make me lean in and they'd whisper, "You were my favorite, but don't tell anyone." And I was like, "Don't tell anyone? I'm gonna tell everyone! Don't be ashamed that I'm your favorite!" —Rebecca Milzoff
Garcia, looking through a lot of open doors.Photo: Getty Images
[Garcia]'s reportedly talking with Harvey Weinstein and Bravo about new television projects. And interestingly, says our spy, Garcia could still be involved with the next season of Project Runway regardless of how things play out with Elle. She and fellow judge Michael Kors have reportedly not yet signed on for the next cycle.With rumors of tensions between her and the magazine's new creative director, Joe Zee, swirling for months, it might be easier for her to make a clean break, ego in tow. Considering Elle's next reality television venture is Perfect Fit (in which young ones compete for a spot as a fashion assistant at the magazine with Tyra Banks and Zee breathing down their necks), Elle's image seems to be taking a turn and it doesn't sound like it's heading to a very classy neighborhood. So Godspeed, Nina. Please, whatever you do, just avoid any reality-TV ventures with Tyra Banks.
Nina Garcia Still 'In Talks' With Elle, TV Beckons [Fishbowl NY/Mediabistro]
Nina Garcia Out at Elle [Fashion Week Daily]
Related: Breaking: Nina Garcia Out at ‘Elle’ (Updated)
Photo Courtesy Open All Night
Annie Leibovitz Photographs Barack Obama's Campaign [OAN]
Courtesy of design:related
Jordan Crane’s Cover Art for Michael Chabon [design:related via Boing Boing]
Courtesy of design:related
Back in January we told you to book advance passes to this Hanna Montana–Miley Cyrus movie, which went nearly as fast as the tickets to the live performances it documented (and that even we didn’t manage to highlight in time). But relax: The DVD isn’t going anywhere. The disc packs 3-D glasses, extra footage from Miley and fellow objects of teen desire — and future world overlords — the Jonas Brothers, and a sing-along module so your kid can develop her own delusions of grandeur.
J.K. Rowling's hoping a little legal hocus-pocus will make an unauthorized Harry Potter book disappear.
The megaselling author took center stage in a Manhattan federal court Monday and testified...
White and nerdy: at their Music Hall of Williamsburg earlier this month.Photo: Kate Glicksberg/Retna
Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek at what your friends and neighbors are doing behind doors left slightly ajar. Today, the Guy in a Smoking-Hot, Not-Quite-in-Love Relationship: 26, male, straight, UES, advertising manager.
DAY ONE
9 a.m.: Koreatown hangover. To alleviate the nausea, I watch a saved-until-manually-erased DVR'd OnDemand porn. It features co-eds and/or teens.
Midnight: Wasted in Brooklyn. I’ve been in a relationship for the past six months despite my rampant self-involvement and immaturity. I’m constantly pushing my luck. Luckily, she’s not out tonight to see the drunkenness.
1 a.m.: Still wasted, and en route to Manhattan-bound subway. I walk past an attractive girl smoking and crying in an apartment doorway. We talk. She's French and still crying. I tell her a joke about two peanuts walking into a bar. I walk her to her doorstep and decide not to lean in.
2 a.m.: Pick up a (not the) girlfriend outside of a bar in cab on the way back to my apartment to go hang out. I'm all types of wasted. Her earrings jangle and slap against her long pale neck. I love/hate that this turns me on.
2:30 a.m.: She is not wearing a bra under her form-fitting white shirt. I remember when we used to fuck without condoms. She is talking too much. I drop her off.
3 a.m.: I masturbate furiously.
4 a.m.: I masturbate again and open the window.
DAY TWO
4:30 p.m.: My cock hurts from masturbating (I have sensitive skin). I rub some cortisone on it in anticipation of having sex with my girlfriend later.
8 p.m.: Dinner with the girlfriend. She says she enjoys the consistency of our sex lately. I realize I care less and less about the actual act of sex. Then I realize that I never think this during the actual act of sex.
10 p.m.: We're healthy with Scotch and happy with company, and our walk home is punctuated by impromptu make-out sessions on the busy streets of New York. In jeans with no underwear, this latest erection is proving painful. Then I almost tell her I love her.
10:30 p.m.: I throw her on my bed face down. With a handful of her hair wrapped tight in my fist I explore the low of her back with my tongue. Her skin even tastes soft. I fuck her from behind, but I realize she's not going to come that way and I absolutely love it when she does. With me now on top (our turnkey position), she comes quickly. I hold her tight as I can to me and continue in the same motion until her mind resurfaces from its post-come stupor so she can come again. She does this with little effort on my part. She pushes me off panting and awesome and puts me in her mouth.
DAY THREE
8 a.m.: Girlfriend offers morning head before she leaves. I oblige. The grass can simply not be any greener.
3 p.m.: Picking up some shit I got framed, I see a beautiful ass in white pants. From the black hair and taut frame, I assume the girl is Asian. I am reminded of a rant I read long ago from a man who claimed he would give up the fork utensil if it meant all attractive women were forced to wear white pants year-round.
9 p.m.: Girlfriend comes over. We get high and watch television. When we don't have sex, I always hear about it. Compare all-consuming state of indolence to inevitable comment. Indolence wins.
DAY FOUR
1:30 p.m.: See the slightly more attractive one of my two office-building crushes. I tell myself that I would give it all up just to wake beside her on a Sunday morning and brush aside the bangs from her face. We talk about who-the-fuck-knows-what. I try to remember if she is the one with the boyfriend or if it's the other one.
7 p.m.: At the gym. Erect on the stationary bike with nowhere to go.
8:30 p.m.: Girlfriend comes over.
9 p.m.: We have amazing sex. At least for me. Sometimes we try to find all the various ways in which she can come. This go-around proves futile. I can tell her heart's not in it, the sexy li'l quitter.
11 p.m.: Fall asleep together naked while the TV mumbles in the other room.
DAY FIVE
1 p.m.: On the salad line at Hale & Hearty, wondering if Beth Ditto gives good hetero head.
7 p.m.: Take my team out to a nice dinner to thank them for a good first quarter. Can't stop staring at an Israeli Keira Knightley at other table. Sharp eyes, turquoise heels, blah blah blah. Despite her forehead-slapping beauty, I imagine she would not like having sex up against the various surfaces my apartment offers. Realize I have the dumbest thoughts.
11 p.m.: Four gin martinis into the eve, I meet up with my girlfriend at a bar by my apartment. She went to the Elton John concert and is just as many sheets to the wind as I am. She looks striking, and I can't stop telling her so. She's wearing a trim dress the color of weather-worn brick with black tights and the highest heels she owns. I tell her that I'm happy.
11:15 p.m.: She's been feeling a little insecure lately (despite my perma-hard disposition when I'm around her) and starts talking about not being a good girlfriend. First I think this is a mood killer, then tell myself that I'm a guy and who gives a shit about moods. I take off my shirt and her tights and press my tongue against her with her dress pulled up above her hips. She comes on my couch. I pass out in three minutes beached-whale style.
DAY SIX
8:30 a.m.: Walking to the L train, I spot a gorgeous six-foot Amazon black punk girl with studded leather jacket dripping with shine. Cro-Mags and Voidoids pins. Probably the coolest, sexiest woman I have ever seen in my entire life. I wonder if I would be too intimidated to have sex with her when the time came.
11 a.m.: Still thinking about that girl from the subway platform.
2 p.m.: On the street. Chelsea gallerina in ankle boots makes me wish I were an artist.
9 p.m.: Girlfriend comes over after she gets home from work. Lying against one another on my couch, I stand to take off my pants and put on shorts. She asks me why I would do that. “Just take them off and I'll give you a blow job.” Living the dream, but wanting to be inside her, we run to the bedroom (cliché clothes-tearing, against-the-wall humping) and fuck like teenagers. She comes. Then I come while I'm on top. I've only come this way with her a handful of times. She reminds me of this with a big smile on her face.
10 p.m.: Still naked in bed. Tickle fighting. Other lame naked pillow activities ensue. Like saying how much we adore each other. I care about her deeply. Am I in love? I don’t think so. I’m far too mired in my own bullshit and twentysomething trappings at the moment. I want to love her. And I should. I just, well, don’t. She’s the best girlfriend anyone could ever hope to have. I wish that were enough to love her.
11 p.m.: Leave her to sleep her sleep and go watch the Lakers game.
DAY SEVEN
10 a.m.: Receive text from my good ol' lesbian friend about her newest girlfriend: "Sometimes having a gf sucks." Strangely can't find myself agreeing.
11 a.m.: Exchange texts with girlfriend about our great sex the previous night. Hard now. Can't stand up to walk to the printer. Inconvenient erection. Will have to wait this puppy out.
8 p.m.: Dinner with friend who's in town for the weekend. He tells me that he got stuck on a roof earlier in the day and fingered a girl he met a few days prior while he was up there. I wonder which happened first. The fingering or getting stuck. Turns out it was the fingering.
Totals: Three acts of intercourse; three acts of masturbation; three acts of fellatio; three acts of cunnilingus; three inconveniently public erections; two almost-mentions of the L word.
From left, Phat Fashions logo; Victoria's Secret Pink logo.
Phat Fashions sent a cease and desist letter to Victoria's Secret in February, but said the retailer refused to comply, the amended complaint said.Phat Fashions is seeking damages in excess of $1 million, as well as the destruction of all alleged infringing merchandise.
Oh no! What will all the college freshman wear to S'mores and Movies night in the dorms without any new Pink gear? Sigh. Let's hope Phat Fashions will make velour sweatpants with "PHAT" on the rear so they don't have to wear warm-ups from their high-school track days.
VS, Phat Fashions in Copyright Dispute [WWD]
Ashlee Simpson's new album drops next week, but her biggest project to date will take a little longer to incubate.
The freshly betrothed "Pieces of Me" warbler and Fall Out Boy fiancé...
Photo: Wire Image
"Well, I was referring to, when I was talking about that, in that interview, what I said was slightly taken out of context because I love New York and that's where I really feel I came up and that's where my career started. I was referring to, in a way, missing those days, those early days when the art world, the downtown scene, the music world, was like colliding in this very exciting way and a lot of the people from that time in my life are no longer alive. So it was in reference to missing that time, that energy, that freshness — and a lot of those people. So I hope I cleared that up. I mean there are lots of great, amazing people in New York but I am not plugged into it the way I used to be and I miss those days."
We knew it. We knew she still loved us. Her words were just slightly taken out of context, you see? We never should have trusted that rascally Rich Cohen. And we're sure this hasty clarification has nothing to do with the fact that Warner Bros. announced today that Queen Madge will take the stage for a show with Justin Timberlake at the Roseland Ballroom April 30. Right? Whatever. Tell us lies, Madonna. We don't care. Just hold us in your scary bony arms and say we're pretty and that you love us and we'll forget it ever happened. We promise.
Madonna to Perform Live at New York's Roseland Ballroom [PR Newswire]
Earlier: Madonna No Longer Loves New York
Photo: WireImage
"My mind works differently. Puccini closes his eyes for inspiration and gets 'Nessun Dorma.' I close my eyes and get this." —Craig Bierko on his new Internet series, "Bathing With Bierko" [NYT]
"It was sort of like a, well, you remember the Super Bowl, right. You know Jeremy Shockey? He broke his leg. He had to sit up in the press box and watch. He couldn't help his team win. He couldn't play. The greatest, most talked-about, most publicized Super Bowl in our time and he's sitting watching; instead of actually being able to participate. Terrible … And I know, I know, I brought it on myself." —T.I. on getting arrested on the night before the BET Hip-Hop Awards [MTV]
"I don't want to say I'm 100 percent sure, like, 'Yeah, this is it.' But 85 percent. That 15 percent is the X factor. That could be bills. Like, 'Lupe, you got to pay the bills.'" —Lupe Fiasco on his plans to retire [MTV]
"There's enough going on in the movie and enough going on with the cast that people are going to give it a shot regardless of whether they know about it or not. How many people actually rode the Pirates of the Caribbean ride before going to see that movie?" —Jon Favreau on Iron Man [NYP]
Watch out, wedding industry!Photo: Getty Images
A spokesperson for the label confirmed to us this morning that Nick Knight has already shot a series of six images for the campaign, in which Moss stars as a bride who, we are tantalisingly told, has a "last minute change of heart".
So the message to Agent Provocateur bridal customers is something like "Buy our high-waisted panties and steal away with the hot catering waiter for that last hurrah that makes you realize the mistake you're about to make"? "Divorce is on the rise, but it doesn't have to sap your sexy"? "Kate Moss isn't really getting married"? Marketing gold, we tell you.
BREAKING NEWS: KATE SAYS "I DO" [British Vogue]
Related: Is Kate Moss Engaged?!
Mick Rock: Kate Moss Won't Wed
Photo: Getty Images
"You know, I always say you should get greedy when others are fearful and fearful when others are greedy. But that's too much to expect. Of course, you shouldn't get greedy when others get greedy and fearful when others get fearful. At a minimum, try to stay away from that."
We suspect the fact that it took us like ten minutes to get our heads around this is one of the reasons that we will never have a career in business.
What Warren Thinks [Fortune]
Tory, clearly psyched about an affair with Baltar.Photo: Courtesy of Sci Fi
They Have a Plan
What did we learn? Everybody's planning to do stuff in the near future! Psycho Starbuck is off to find Earth, Tory is seducing Baltar to find out if he knows who the last of the Final Five is, and Lee is gonna work with Zarek which means — oh, gods, no! — Richard Hatch will be involved in the final season.
Back at the Basestar, the Cylon skin jobs are pissed that Cavil wants to lobotomize the Raiders, who refuse to attack the humans lest they accidentally harm the Final Five. So the usually unified Cylons were a-fussin’ and a-feudin’, building to a violent coup d'état that was the episode’s most exciting moment. Up until then, the endless boardroom scenes resembled something like The Cylon Apprentice, only with more machine-gun fire.
As for the identity of the Fifth Cylon, it’s so Lee Adama. The more the show draws his halo, the more suspicious we become.
Love Boat Galactica
Our favorite couple? The strictly platonic Bill Adama and Laura Roslin. Unlike the kids with all their hormonal One Tree Hill drama, these two have a deep romantic affection for one another that’s all the more touching because they’re not flailing around about it. With Laura (again) dying of cancer and convalescing in Adama’s quarters, they’ve unwittingly become a tragic old married couple. They were always too responsible, too duty-bound, too concerned about protecting the fleet to engage in silly romantic entanglements, and now it looks like they never will — whether they make it to Earth or not, she’s fraked. It’s a bitterly ironic counterpoint to the petty on-again/off-again torment of Lee and Starbuck: Those two squabbling fools don’t realize how lucky they are. —Tim Grierson
You'll soon be familiar with model
Garrett Neff's face … and chest.Photo: Getty Images
Someone get this girl a bacon cheeseburger already.Photo: © Chicago / PA Photos / Retna Ltd.
1. She looked really gaunt and frail last week in paparazzi pictures.
2. She has a really bad skin problem, which could be a result of her drug use.
3. See above re: drug use. (If you want to get technical, the News of the World says she was seen snorting cocaine with Peaches Geldoff.)
Maybe the girl should get her ass to rehab already so she can finally make a trip over here and deliver those soul stylings of hers Americans are clamoring for. And if anything could use a soul injection, the Costume Institute gala would certainly be it.
Amy up to her old ways as she's axed by US show [Daily Mail]
Related: Amy Winehouse to Perform at Wintour's Big Gala?
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