Photo: Patrick McMullan

Photo: Courtesy of Fashion Week Daily

Photo: Getty Images

From Best Week Ever's amazing and terrifying roundup of similar clips.

To be fair, the page states that only "some" finalists are pictured. But pageant organizers should be proud to have a girl with real curves competing for the first time and put her darn photo up! After all, Marshall has brought the pageant way more publicity than it would have gotten otherwise. We hope this isn't a sign of curve prejudice. But if it is, at least we know regardless of the pageant's outcome, Marshall will be more famous than the winner.

First size 16 model reaches Miss England final [Telegraph]
Miss England 2008

Kelly Clarkson Gets Lucky

Photo: Getty Images

2. Liars, "Army of Me" (Björk cover)
If an army of Björks is like the crazy mix of aliens in the Rebel Alliance, this army of Liars is more like Darth Vader's storm troopers — twice as deadly and way cooler. [Pitchfork]

3. Poni Hoax, "Paper Bride"
Poni hoaxes and paper brides? You'd expect these guys to be as inauthentic as JT LeRoy. You'd totally be wrong though. [20 Jazz Funk Greats]

4. Newton Faulkner, "Teardrop" (Massive Attack cover)
Ever wonder what it would sound like if Soundgarden did an acoustic cover of a Massive Attack song? They you and Newton Faulkner are the only ones! [Bag of Songs]

5. Lettuce, "Speakeasy"
A funk band from Boston called Lettuce. Coming soon to a frat near you. [Here Comes the Flood] —Ehren Gresehover

Hillary Is F**king Obama

Look, we saw Survivor: All Stars and Mr. and Mrs. Smith and whatever that movie was with Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones. We know that when a man and a woman, each with a healthy ego, are at odds with one another for a period of time, the tension between them can sometimes turn into something else. It's only human. But the idea that's been surfacing here and there that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are attracted to one another frankly grosses us out. First of all, we're not convinced either of them is human. Second, we hardly need to point out that would be like grandparents mating, or teachers. Third, this video tribute to Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" is pretty hilarious.

Jimmy Kimmel Doesn't Look a Day over 999

Craig Bierko on Taking a Bath With John Malkovich

Photo: Getty Images

So it looks like you guys were both naked in the tub. Were you?
I have no comment on that.

You can't say? What’s the big deal?
I can, but I won't. I guess I want to preserve a bit of mystery. We're bathing.

Are your legs wrapped around him or are you cross-legged behind him?
I think they were around his legs. The tub is too small for me, and he's about my height.

So this woman on Nerve.com, Sara Benincasa, who has long interviewed people in their tubs on a thing called "Tub Talk," is claiming you stole her idea. True?
I don't really have a response to that. My idea behind this whole thing was, I wanted to take the false intimacy of a talk show, of two guys wearing makeup, and turn the intimacy up as much as I could. I thought of people sitting in the bathtub yammering at each other, and I could see how other people could have come up…I’d never seen her show before.

She suggests you could set things aright by having her on your tub show. Will you?
Probably not. Not to insult her, but we've set the bar pretty high with John [Malkovich].

Who else is on your wish list?
Gore Vidal, Jimmy Carter. To get Jimmy and Rosalynn together would be fantastic. Hillary. The people that you would tune in to watch on Larry King.

Okay. Back to John. What did you do before the shoot? Drink?
I said that we'd start at 3 p.m., and he showed up at 2:45. I don't think in the history of show business that's ever happened. All he asked for was a cup of black coffee. Carrie [Fisher, his friend, whose house they shot it at] was out of town. We made a pot, and that was it. We were stoned out of our minds on the bean. We have about an hour's worth of tape.

Was there water in the tub? You can't see it.
Yes. Next time we'll make sure you can see a little bit more water and hear the ambient splashing. We kept replenishing it to make sure it was warm. That was John's job.

You wash his head for a long time. What did it feel like?
Suspiciously human, which was a shock. He's not naturally completely bald, so there was a hint of stubble. It felt like a hard skull encased in an envelope of flesh.

It almost seems that by the time you get to the McDonald's part he is virtually hypnotized from the massage.
To be perfectly honest, and I know that given the project we're discussing it seems ludicrous, but this is one of the best actors in the world, I believe. He asked me in all humbleness, "What are you looking for?," and I said you should be as relaxed as you were doing Charlie Rose, which I'd seen him do. I could've been prodding him with a white-hot poker and he would've maintained that kind of composure.

Did you hang out after?
No, he put on his clothes, as I did. We gave him a gift of appreciation — a bunch of soap. On the way there, I'd realized I had to get loofahs and brushes, so I bought some extras for a gift pack for him. You know those giant soaps the size of a human forearm? We gave him a bunch of those things.

Did you pay him?
No, we just gave him the soap. —Tim Murphy

Jude Law Mugs for Dior; Beauty Products Are Full of Grossness

Jude Law: banned in the U.K.Photo: Getty Images

• A woman in Texas was held at knifepoint in her car and drove her captor out by spraying him with Elizabeth Arden Red Door Perfume. It's the new pepper spray. [Jezebel]

HAIR
• For $100 you can get your hair treated with Angus bull sperm at a U.K. salon. The "Viagra for hair" purportedly conditions and revitalizes hair. Ew. [BellaSugar]

SKIN
• Oscar nominee Virginia Madsen has openly discussed her Botox use. She's taken the natural (oh, the irony!) next step: She's the new Botox spokesperson. [Fashionista]

• Found makes skin products like day cream with oyster enzymes and night cream with snake venom. Its eye serum coming out this spring will contain jellyfish collagen and protein from spiderwebs. Really, all this gross beauty stuff is getting out of control. [WWD]

Barry Diller and Tina Brown Team Up to Create Aggregator Website

Photo: WireImage

Tina Brown to Partner With Barry Diller on News Aggregation Site [Radar]

The Brooklyn Museum Visits Astroland One Last Time

Modern 1947 Coney Island (1947) by UnknownCourtesy of Brooklyn Museum

The Lousy Housing Market Affects Even Stars of ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’

Boerum Hill: A certain actress is trying to off-load the narrow, 1,680-square-foot brownstone she picked up last year for less than $200,000 more than what she paid for it a year ago. [Brownstoner]
Brooklyn Heights: Given that nobody was hurt, locals actually seem kind of grateful for the fire that just destroyed this Gristedes. Maybe now they'll get a nice, vermin-free Whole Foods, they hope. [Brooklyn Heights Blog]
Chelsea: Oh, these shots of work coming along on the High Line make us want to sneak up there and smoke cigarettes and drink beer the first warm spring night. And we just might! [High Line Blog]

Harlem: Harlem council member Inez Dickens says no way will 125th Street get its controversial rezoning if it doesn't provide more affordable housing and relocation aide for displaced stores. And since the City Council usually votes in suit with its rep from the district in question, she's probably right. [NYS]
Greenpoint: There was a scabies outbreak among deli workers at a local (semi-identified) grocery after it got a new chicken supplier, so it's up to you to parse that and decide if you still want to patronize it or not. [Newyorkshitty]
Long Island City: A guy who once lead a conga parade up Avenue A to protest the city's anti-dancing cabaret laws is now opening a rock club here called the Queensbridge Theater. It'll close at 4 a.m., then open three hours later for breakfast with home-baked bread. Rock and rolls! [NYO]
Upper East Side: This real-life (?) real housewife of New York City defends the show of the same name. She says it makes her feel "grateful for my semi-charmed kind of life" and suspects that watchers from the Midwest who think the women on the show are vapid and superficial are probably just jealous. [Sex and the Upper East Side]

Madonna and Mariah Carey Dethrone Elvis

Photo Illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images, Michael Ochs Archive/Getty Images (Elvis legs), iStockphoto (garbage can)

Mariah: A YouTube reference and Jack McBrayer in the video can't really disguise that "Touch" is an overly carbonated retread of "Always Be My Baby," Mariah's now ten-year-old, post–Tommy Mottola proclamation of sexual freedom. We get it, Mimi: jean shorts bad, stilettos and bikinis good. How about you use more of those eight octaves you got?

As for Madonna's "4 Minutes to Save the World": Isn't hiring Timbaland to hip up your songs very 2005? Hell, at this point we think Tim's produced a song on our debut. Did Madge learn nothing when she hired Babyface to get more "urban" in the nineties? Madge, if you're going to glom off some producer-of-the-moment — which you usually do in a more precocious, visionary way à la Mirwais, William Orbit, etc. — we really would prefer you work with Mark Ronson. And isn't JT young enough to be your kid? For shame, ladies, for shame. —Justin Ravitz

Mariah, Madonna Make Billboard Chart History [Billboard]

Oprah dedicates show to beloved dog

DVDs From Bette Davis’s Out-There, Ferocious-Star Days

In her Depression-era prime — we’re thinking of Jezebel and Dark Victory — Bette Davis was the ultimate moll: a porcelain beauty with an ashtray mouth. Though her beauty would fade, her ferocious temperament would not, as evidenced in this collection, a nightmarish and terrific set of six discs that includes her fiery performances in All About Eve, Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte, and The Nanny.

Peter Som Peddles to the ‘Mature’ Crowd

Som and his boomin' grannies.Photo: Kendall Herbst

'Friday Night Lights' coming back

‘The Riches’: Introducing the Eden Falls Cost of Living Index!

Don't even get us started on the cell-phone bills.Photo: Courtesy of FX

The Eden Falls Cost of Living Index
Eldest son Cael (Noel Fisher) and some buddies had previously hacked his school’s computers in order to sell off fixed grades — and were caught. Wayne confabs with the other fathers at a strip club to suss out a way to keep their sons out of jail and back in school. The solution: a “donation” of a $1 million gymnasium ($250,000 per kid). Cael, disgusted, confesses his crime and sort of disowns his dad. Bonus: For now, Wayne doesn’t have to worry about Cael’s five-figure tuition.

The reason the Malloys have returned to Eden Falls despite the tremendous risk and questionable perks? As the attorney for Hugh Panetta (Gregg Henry), a hootin'-hollerin' real-estate developer, Doug stands to make $13 million in a $150 million development deal, called Bayou Hills, that is probably corrupt and exploitative.

But alcoholic Hugh, abandoned by his newest wife, is too heartbroken to get on with that deal anyway. To distract himself from his impotence, he buys a $340,000 Lamborghini.

Wayne and Dahlia can’t get rid of their crazy cousin Dale (Todd Stashwick), who wants a piece of that $13 million and could expose Wayne’s complicity in the murder of the Riches’ nosy old friend. Dale even stalks Dahlia in the bubble bath, strangling her briefly. Finally, Wayne gets Dale an entry-level job as a mail clerk.

Dale owes somebody, too: the grizzly Eamon Quinn, a fellow traveler far scarier and smarter than he is. Out of prison after twenty years, he insists on a 50 percent piece of Dale’s piece of Wayne’s piece. To make his intentions clear, Quinn sticks a fork through Dale’s hand.

Dahlia, a recovering heroin addict who’s been violating prison parole since stepping foot in Eden Falls, can’t stomach the guilt or paranoia — no matter how fabulously she’s always turned out as Cherien Rich, or how much she wants her kids happy and educated. On a pot-buying run/AA meeting with her best friend and neighbor Nina (Margo Martindale), she’s finally inspired to confess her parole violations to the local cops. Wayne may have just told Cael that “power and money are freedom,” but Dahlia apparently disagrees. —Justin Ravitz

An amazing feat by six blind teens

NBC Upfronts: Office Spins Off; Scrubs Scrubbed

Bloomberg’s Biggest Fight for His Green Legacy Yet to Come

Photo: Getty Images

In the grand scheme that is PlaNYC, congestion pricing is but one small accomplishment. To truly bulwark the city against more efficient world capitals — and global-warming-induced tidal waves — means reforming the buildings that produce 80 percent of our city's greenhouse gases. Bloomberg has proposed new authority over buildings' energy use that require approval from Albany. The Real Estate Board of New York is lukewarm on the battle. “Building owners don't use the energy,” board senior vice-president Marolyn Davenport tells us. “Unless tenants and users of electricity are part of the city solution, I don't see how they do it.” The board has also called the mayor's proposal to tune up old buildings by 2015 too rushed. And the construction lobby, which went to the mat for congestion pricing in part because too many jobs slow down when trucks get stuck in traffic, has emphasized new power plants and kept pretty much mum on the mayor's push for cleaner power.

Even without Dan Doctoroff, who crafted the clean-energy authority and fund, the mayor can surely bring his tested powers of persuasion to bear on these lobbies. But with the real-estate market softening, their appetite for costly upfront investments and their stomach for more fights with state lawmakers figure to weaken. Bloomberg, though, can muster powerful developers and world-economy titans (consider greenie Rupert Murdoch, whose carbon enlightenment Bloomberg cites in speeches, or Bill Clinton, whose foundation is funding NYC public-housing retrofits) and bring their case to the public arena. And he can afford to piss off legislators and lobbies — architects are already finishing up his foundation headquarters on the Upper East Side. So expect Bloomberg to fight more arcane battles in the next year, but don't expect him to get rolled. If the mayor has to become a maverick to keep his legacies from (literally) washing away, he will. —Alec Appelbaum

Get more green ideas from Mayor Bloomberg and Dan Doctoroff at our coverage of the Natural Resources Defense Council's "Forces of Nature" Gala.

‘Battlestar Galactica’: The Internet Teases — and Spoils — Season Four

Courtesy of Sci Fi

To find out, we turned to the hive mind of the Internet. Many spoilers, and lots of rampant speculation, after the jump.

The Four New Cylons
In the first episode of the new season, conclusive evidence will be presented that Colonel Saul Tigh, Chief Galen Tyrol, Ensign Samuel Anders, and presidential aide Tory Foster are all definitely, without doubt, Cylons. This will cause some confusion and soul-searching as they decide whether to embrace their Cylon programming or stand by the crew they've spent years protecting. And can you imagine how much more complicated the already-tenuous marriage between Anders and Starbuck will be when he inevitably confesses to her in the barracks shower that he's a robot? Colonel Tigh is allegedly going to have a harder time than most embracing his newly found Cylon-ness, mostly due to having killed his wife last season for sleeping with a Cylon (whoops!).

Now that four of the final five Cylons are onboard Galactica, the Cylon pursuers are going to have qualms with attacking the ship, for fear of accidentally destroying them. The Cylons aren't sure if the newly revealed Cylon models will resurrect if destroyed.

But that leaves ONE more Cylon: Who will it be?

The Starbuck Mystery
In the final moments of the last season, Starbuck, after being reported dead, flew out of the Ionian Nebula in an undamaged, possibly brand-new, Viper claiming to have been to Earth. President Roslin isn't so thrilled when she gets back and throws Starbuck in the brig (again!) where Starbuck will have serious self-doubts as to whether she's a human anymore. Starbuck thinks she's only been gone a few hours; the crew of Galactica thinks she's been gone longer, and they don't like what that implies. Starbuck (and most of the crew) believes that she's the fifth and final Cylon, but most of the Internet (and Katee Sackhoff) thinks that there's no way in hell she actually is. As everyone has emphasized repeatedly: Starbuck has a higher purpose in the show than simply being another robot.

Everyone Is Going to Die
No, seriously, check out this clip where Edward James Olmos (Admiral Adama) states around 4:15: "Everyone's dying in season four." Actress Grace Park (Sharon Valerii) notes that the show still has around 30,000 hapless souls to shamelessly execute before they start vaporizing main characters. We predict that by the time the season wraps, only the most attractive members of the Battlestar cast will still be kicking when they finally reach Earth and settle into the mundane task of repopulating the human race, saving viewers from confronting the question of which unfortunate soul will be forced to do it with Hot Dog. —Everett Bogue

The Accidental Fashion Guru and His Headbands

Chicha Libre: Brooklyn Meets Peru Via Flirty Funk

This veteran Brooklyn band, together for twenty years, have only just released their first studio album — if you’ve ever caught them playing at Barbes, you understand why they were content strictly as a live band. And yet the disc perfectly captures their rich, hypnotic Peruvian-style funk. And these aren’t just great jams — they’re great songs: In standout track “Indian Summer,” sixties-style “chicha” cha-chas are wrapped in flirty piano and guy-girl vocals whispering in French.

Stephen Malkmus Is Just Too Old to Scream Like That

Photo: WireImage

"Let me just say that right now I'm dressed as Richard Simmons, wearing little red and white striped shorts and a wig. The real Richard Simmons is dressed as Richard Simmons as well." —Jimmy Kimmel on taping the 1,000th episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live [NYDN]

"When I proposed these crossovers, Mohawk Media jumped at the chance and went to great lengths to make them happen. Who can blame them? Two legends … a living legend and an undead legend … going toe to toe. It doesn't get much more exciting than that!" —comic-book author Christopher Bunting on the upcoming Mr. T Versus Dracula [Comic Book Resources]

"I think it's going to be stunning. There's going to be this beautiful gazebo involved, I know that." —actress AJ Michalka on the architectural marvels of Peter Jackson's heaven in the upcoming The Lovely Bones [Movies Blog/MTV]

"They're like my younger brothers, but they'll do shit for attention. They'll do things, then when I look like, 'What are you doing?' They'll be like, 'Oh, nah, because you was doing this … Because you didn't call me when you were on the international tour.'" —50 Cent on the G-Unit complaining that he doesn't bring them flowers anymore [MTV]

‘The Hills’ Is Taking Over the World

Cheerio, ladies.Photo composite: Courtesy of MTV; iStockphoto

The other casting requirements are a kind of a roar, if you consider Lauren, Whitney, Audrina, and Heidi were held to similar standards. See what we mean after the jump.

To enter you must:

- Be 18-21 year olds

- Have striking looks/personal style and personality to match

- Love being in front of the camera

- Not be a professional actor or presenter

- Enjoy being yourself and wear your heart on your sleeve

- Not be afraid to show your emotions and tell everyone about them

- Be a passionate follower of at least one of these scenes: fashion, art, music, film, literature, partying/clubbing and want to have your voice heard

- Be seriously interested in writing, graphic art, advertising, PR

- Live an aspirational lifestyle

So do you think you've got what it takes to be the next Lauren, Heidi or Audrina?

Then get in touch!

LONDON OPEN AUDITIONS ON TUESDAY 1st APRIL

CONTACT mtvUKcasting@blakeway.tv or call 0207 428 3183 FOR FURTHER INFORMATION.

Star in an MTV Show! [MTV.co.uk via E!]

Donnie Walsh In As Knicks President, Isiah Thomas Also Still In... As Water Boy?

Photo: Getty Images

"Now I know there's been a lot of speculation about Isiah. I have known Isiah for a long time and have great respect for his knowledge of the game. I think he is a great basketball mind. I'm not going to judge anything from afar. I have told him that we are going to sit down and talk in the coming days, and then we'll go from there. I think he's got the skills to help this franchise. "

Walsh says he doesn't know whether that role for Isiah will be as coach. But he will probably keep him on in some capacity.

Okay, we’re fine with Isiah finishing out this miserable season as long as we imagine the last eight games as a sort of updated, well-paid version of getting thrown in the stocks and flayed. But if Walsh is actually considering keeping Thomas on past this year, there are only a few “capacities” in which we’d still feel comfortable utilizing Isiah. Namely:

• Official MSG bathroom-break seat warmer
• Clown, MSG dunk-tank and tomato-throwing fund-raisers
• Chief of scouting operations, Antarctica and Polar Regions
• Zack Randolph's personal strategist for all pregame NBA Live 2008 locker-room tournaments
• Human napkin dispenser
• Interoffice relations and sensitivity-training coordinator
• Foam-finger tester
• Corporate-retreat campfire storyteller
• Chief popcorn consultant
• Resident abject lesson in failure
• Point guard

What did we miss?

—Amos Barshad

The Underrated ‘Sweeney Todd,’ Now on DVD: a Rant

It’s crazy that the boring adaptation of Chicago pranced off with a basket of Oscars while Sweeney Todd, new to DVD, won none. Johnny Depp stretched further than any actor nominated. And though Helena Bonham Carter’s rendition of “The Worst Pies in London” is a nasty miracle, she was apparently too working class for the Academy (which nominated Cate Blanchett for Elizabeth and wasted its award on 9/11 conspiracy theorist Marion Cotillard). Show this movie some love!

Alessandro Dell'Acqua Heads to Malo?

Alessandro Dell'AcquaPhoto: imaxtree

Alessandro Dell’Acqua Said Headed to Malo [WWD]

Bernanke Says That a Recession Is ‘Possible’

FINANCE
• In his testimony to the Senate, Fed chairman Ben Bernanke said that the economy "will not grow much, if at all, over the first half of 2008 … a recession is possible." Ya think? [AP]
• Meanwhile, another one bites the dust: Bear director Paul Novelly sells his stock for $1.3 million. [WSJ]
• Blackstone has raised $10.9 billion to invest in property. [Bloomberg]

LEGAL
• A New York hedge-fund manager and art collector testified that alleged celebrity wiretapper Anthony Pellicano once offered to have a man killed for him. [NYT]
• The New York State attorney general's office has begun a formal inquiry into Roger Chapin's Salute America's Heroes Foundation. [Forbes]
• The vote for the congestion-pricing charge takes an interesting turn: One of the City Council members with habitually bad attendance was conspicuously absent, having viva-ed to Las Vegas. [NYT]

MEDIA
• Jared Kushner decides to throw his hat in the Newsday ring. [WSJ]
• CBS lays off 1,200 employees. [NYT]
• Time Inc. might be cutting titles from its roster of magazines. [Ad Age]

REAL ESTATE
• Bobby De Niro's newly opened Greenwich Hotel could teach Homeland Security a thing or two about screening. [HotelChatter]
• Watch out Flushing Meadows! Randalls Island is getting a $13 million tennis center. [NYT]
• St. Saviour Church has been, well, saved. [NYDN]

Levert family wants FBI to check into death

Is the Traditional Magazine Writer Doomed? We Say No.

Who wouldn't want to be this guy?Photo: Getty Images

At one point, Shafrir argues that nobody wants to take editorial-assistant jobs at magazines any more. Call us crazy, but it's always been our impression (i.e., all those years when we were desperately trying to get those jobs) that they are still incredibly difficult to land. Blogging is an obvious second choice, especially since it offers such good exposure. Then you use that exposure to get a magazine job (or a book deal or a newspaper gig). The fact of the matter is there aren't that many blogs that will pay a 22-year-old, as Shafrir suggests, $50,000. We would argue that there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of young writers who are blogging precisely in order to become magazine writers. Maybe this will be in a different format (writing online, editing Websites, etc), but even so, it's there.

Of course, we did absolutely no research for this post, so our argument is inconclusive. This is, after all, a blog. But one day we hope to be big-time magazine writers, and then we'll start picking up the phone. What we're wondering, you massive creative underclass out there, is what you think. Do our research for us and respond in the comments. Do any of you still want to work in magazines?

Freelance Fizzle! The Decline and Fall of the Writer [NYO]

Remind Us Why Amy Winehouse Is a Fashion Icon Again?

What do we mean by "icon," exactly?Photo: Getty Images

Somehow the fashion industry has got it into its head that what's really missing from every stylish woman's life is an accessory that will make her look like someone whose next must-have is an intravenous drip.

None of this is to cast aspersions on Winehouse's musical talents. And to be fair, she has carved a wholly original look for herself. Unfortunately it's accented (as fashion folk like to say) with self-harming razor marks, the body of an emaciated child and regular bruises. I know, I know. Purple is such a now sort of colour. But a style mentor? At least wait for the girl to get well. By which time, you never know, the fashion industry might have grown up.

There's really nothing left to say after that.

Roberto Cavalli collaborating with Amy Winehouse? No, no, no [Times UK]
Related: Holes in Britain's Winehouse-Cavalli Gossip

Radiohead Lets Fans Remix New Single

Britain Fights Photoshopped Magazine Images

The U.K.'s Periodical Publishers Association said Tuesday it will set up a working group with the BFC and London magazine editors to discuss the use of digital enhancements in fashion photography. "…In December, the BFC said it wrote to the PPA, the British Society of Magazine Editors and the Advertising Association in the U.K. to suggest what the BFC calls "a voluntary code covering the use of digital manipulation [in photography]." A BFC spokeswoman said Tuesday that no guidelines had been drawn up governing the magazines' use of airbrushing. She suggested that rather than limiting magazines' use of digital manipulation, publications could instead be asked to declare if an image had been altered.

If magazines follow this voluntary code, every picture would bear an "airbrushed" stamp because every picture is digitally enhanced in magazines. Should this catch on, more power to them. But it's been, what, five years since Kate Winslet spoke out about having her image altered on the cover of GQ? Otherwise, the official stance is radio silence (save for those nasty leaks to confirm what we already know). So without celebrity blessings, there'll be no real rush to "declare" all those altered images — at least not until Eva Longoria tells the Photoshop monkey in the art department that it's cool to speak out about her armpit flab.

Memo Pad: Picture Imperfect [WWD]

It's a Record: Mariah Dethrones The King

Hospital Disciplines 1 for Accessing Farrah Fawcett's Record

Behind the Big Voice: David Archuleta

Maradona never admitted his hand touched the ball, saying instead that it was "the hand of God"

6267 Gets Official at Ferré ‘Playboy’ Outsources Women's Gear

6267's Aquilano and Rimondi are moving up.Photo: Getty Images

• Playboy's online store for women has grown so much the company has outsourced its operation. Thanks, Girls Next Door! [WWD]

• Collette Dinnigan will design a diffusion line for Target Australia. Unlike Zac Posen's limited-edition line for the retailer, Dennigan's will be a permanent addition, with new styles coming every year. Oh, the luck of the Aussies. [Courier Mail via News.com.au]

• Designer Jean Charles de Castelbajac will collaborate with French fashion and accessories brand Smiley (yep, it's a brand) for a fall '08 collection. The pieces will incorporate Smiley's iconic yellow happy face, of course. [British Vogue]

• Dolly Parton devotee Michael Kors requested tickets to American Idol's Tuesday-night taping unaware of its Parton theme. After the jolly surprise Idol producers asked him to tape a public-service announcement to air during the Idol Gives Back show next week. Everyone wins. [WWD]

• More from Down Under: Designer Michelle Jank moved to Paris, but she's returning to her native Australia to show at its Fashion Week on April 28. [WWD]

• Women who wear suits to work all week apparently don't know what to wear when dressing down. Experts suggest looking at celebrities' casualwear for inspiration, except Posh Spice, who sports awful wedge trainers, and Helen Mirren, who looks "too vampy" in black leather. [Telegraph]

• The Dior Babe bag Carla Bruni-Sarkozy toted through London last week costs $2,290. It comes in colors other than her black one, like purple. [Bag Snob]

• Yes, they make cleavage minimizers, too. These lacy bands go across the bust and over a bra like a camisole to keep the girls under wraps. Sounds comfy. [Trendinista]

• Did you know some passports and credit cards contain metal chips that transmit radio frequencies that "digital pickpockets" can steal? Well, now you can get a wallet lined with metal to protect your radio waves from theft. [WP]

'O' My: Oprah Dedicates Show to Dead Dog

Can Tabloid Stars Become Movie Stars?

That 'Amelie' woman has a nasty side