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Photos: Getty Images
Elizabeth W. Banks: Now that she's made a porno in Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Elizabeth Banks has more time to focus on what's important: the White House. As Laura Bush, she joins Josh Brolin in Oliver Stone's George Bush biopic, W. To answer your questions: Yes, it will be controversial, and yes, it will be 45 minutes too long. [HR]
Rice Seeing Ghosts: It's official: Two-time Tony winner Tim Rice will be the lyricist for Andrew Lloyd Webber's upcoming sequel to Phantom of the Opera. This is true: The music suffered a minor setback last summer when Lloyd Webber's cat "got into the grand piano" and "destroyed the entire score for the new Phantom in one fell swoop." You may remember when his cat tried to make up for it. [Variety, Playbill]
Prime Time Feud: Not everyone is gobbling up pilots now that the strike is over, as NBC has fast-tracked Family Feud: Celebrity Edition to premiere as early as this summer. Producers are mum, but stars from your favorite NBC shows could compete in what amounts to free publicity, an opportunity Ben Silverman is privately calling a "cross-promotional bag of dicks." That's an industry term, baby. [Variety]
Benz Gets Sawed in Half: Dexter's Julie Benz will star in the upcoming Saw V, which we think might be some kind of romantic comedy. Benz is no doubt excited to get away from Dexter's serial killer and do some light-hearted acting with Tobin Bell, who we assume plays a foppish Hugh Grant–like character named "Jigsaw." [HR]
Newhart Sending a Card: Bob Newhart is coming back to the small screen in Hallmark Channel's Herb's Murders. Newhart, 78, will play a Los Angeles detective who investigates a publisher's killing. It's a race against time: Herb has to solve the crime before dying of old age. [HR]
STARTING TODAY
• Red-carpet favorite Marchesa Couture and Notte by Marchesa is 40 to 80 percent off: Notte by Marchesa gowns are now $425. Through 3/29. Warwick Hotel, 65 W. 54th St., at Sixth Ave., second fl., Oxford Ste. (212-247-2700); 3/26 (noon–7); 3/27 (10–8); 3/28 (10–7); 3/29 (10–3).
• Men’s and women’s silk tuxedo shirts (now $75), linen pants (now $57), and floral dresses (now $99) from DDC Lab are on sale. Through 3/30. Chelsea Market, 75 Ninth Ave., nr. 15th St. (212-741-9260); 3/26–3/29 (10–7), 3/30 (11–6).
• Need some animal-print skirts or a cute halter dress? Hit Derek Lam's spring trunk show. Bergdorf Goodman, 754 Fifth Ave., at 57th St., third fl. (212-753-7300); 1–4.
• Bloomingdale's "Private Sale" offers deals on women's and men's apparel and beauty products. Through 3/28. 1000 Third Ave., at 59th St. (212-705-2000); Mon.–Fri. (10–8:30), Sat.–Sun. (11–7).
ENDING TODAY
• The boho-inspired spring collection from Free People is up to 60 percent off. Find the last bits of tees, dresses, and jackets for $10 to $35. Clothing Line, 261 W. 36th St., nr. Seventh Ave., second fl.; 3/24 (12–6), 3/25 (10–7), 3/26 (10–6).
STARTING TOMORROW
• The Benefit counter at Bloomingdale’s hosts a Brow Bar Party. Stop by for a free brow consultation to tame the arch. Bloomingdale's, 1000 Third Ave., at 59th St. (212-705-2000); 10–8:30.
ONGOING
• Find up to 65 percent off brands like House of Holland and Preen at the Seven New York sample sale. 110 Mercer St., nr. Prince St. (646-654-0156); 11–7.
• Beauty products from Smashbox Cosmetics are 25 to 50 percent off at their Beauty Blowout Sale online. Best of Sephora winning cream eyeliner is now $16.50 (was $22) and the Toki Doki quad eye shadow is $22.50 (was $30).
For more deals, check out our Sales & Bargains calendar.

Photo: Getty Images
![]() eFluxMedia | Actor Jackman to pen comic series BBC News - X-Men star Hugh Jackman is to co-write a new comic book series with the creator of the Wolverine adventures. The Australian actor, who plays Wolverine in the film franchise, will write Nowhere Man with Marc Guggenheim, who also penned Amazing ... Hugh Jackman's Takes On New Comic Book Challenge Wolverine Creates His Own Comic Book |
Whitty's recollection of one thing Leno said to him in a phone call two years ago (sketchy!):
I have to say, I really think gay people have made a lot of progress. There used to be a time when a straight guy would never go to a gay guy for advice on how to dress or look good, but it's totally different now.
Longer video at Whitless.com.
[via TMZ]
But still, they're killing Batman, dude, the real honest-to-god comic-book Batman, and the Times will write about the character's importance to America, making a sort of cultural obituary, and either Chuck Klosterman or the Freakonomics guys will explain how this is a zeitgeist, and DC might sell a few extra copies before its comics again fade into obscurity.
During the stereotypical undergrad experience that exists only in our imagination because we went to Nerd University, Spring Fling was two solid days of unabashedly jammin’, weed-fueled party time. Sophomore year we would get Ben Harper; junior year we'd get Mos Def; freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior years we'd get the Roots. Those times were characteristic of the whole college experience: a beautiful, sheltered period when we were free to spend days in the library following our muse no matter where in our MP3 collection it took us.
Then we went to work at a big-city magazine with a corporate imperative toward hipness, and now we hardly remember what things were like in the days when we could mention that we liked the Red Hot Chili Peppers without getting a dirty look from our boss, who only listens to Swedish electronica. Thus we were greatly disturbed to read that spring fling at Columbia University will not include Mos Def, Ben Harper, or even the two and a half stars of the Black Crowes. Columbia’s spring concert will, instead, feature Brooklyn indie titans Grizzly Bear and the National. Nothing against those bands … it’s just that they’re so cool and critically acclaimed. And if kids as young as 18 are starting to worry about that kind of thing now … then who’s going to come with us to see Pearl Jam at Bonnaroo this summer? —Ben Mathis-Lilley
Spring Concert Revealed: Grizzly Bear and The National [BWOG]

Posen, sun-kissed.Photo: Patrick McMullan
Posen's own highly anticipated diffusion line launches in the U.S. in a year. He wouldn't reveal its name but said it would be sold at the same chains as his main collection, just in a different section of the store. It will target a younger consumer, include clothes and accessories, and retail at lower prices ($60 to $1,000) than his current line. “It’s still aspirational, but it’s much more accessible,” Posen explained. The diffusion-line launch will coincide with his fragrance launch. How did Posen turn his essence into a perfume? “You work with amazing noses and artists, and they bring their interpretations of it. And I went through every raw ingredient possible. I wanted to learn the process,” he said. “You edit what you like, what you’re drawn to. You know, when you smell 25 variations of mimosa to decide which one you’re drawn to.” Oh, we totally know. We do that every day. —Bennett Marcus and Jada Yuan

Courtesy of Hasbro

Sacco sizes 'em up.Photo: Patrick McMullan

Photo: WireImage
2. The Raconteurs, "Top Yourself"
We really appreciate all the effort that Jack White and iTunes put in to making sure this album leaked super-early. It sounds good! [Frequenze Indipendenti]
3. The Walkmen, "Passin' Through"
Leonard Cohen is about to go on his first tour in a zillion years, but this Walkmen cover recorded for Daytrotter sounds more like the original that the man himself will probably be able to manage. [Daytrotter]
4. Paper Route Gangstaz, "Bama Gettin' Money (Diplo Remix)"
The PRGz drop references to Super Fly Snuka and Diplo uses a big sample from "Careless Whisper," and suddenly it's 1984 again, except way more gangsta. [Gorilla vs. Bear]
5. Cakewhole, "Stab You"
We don't speak fluent Australian, but we're pretty sure that lyrics like "so meet my knife, it's also my wife" and "we're cakehole and we'll swallow you mole" don't make sense in any language. On the other hand, they're pretty clear about how much they want to stab you. [Who the Bloody Hell Are They?]
—Ehren Gresehover

Photo: Getty Images
The piece points to the movie Hounddog and its controversial rape scene as the beginning of the end for Fanning, and pits Little Miss Sunshine's Abigail Breslin and Sleepwalking's AnnaSophia Robb in a battle for, essentially, America's Next Top Dakota Fanning. So first of all, according to IMDb, Fanning has five movies in postproduction. Second of all, even if the starlet did disappear from the Hollywood scene (again, she's 14, so take "scene" as you will), we're giving credit to Amy Poehler's brilliant and hilarious The Dakota Fanning Show. Maybe the sophisticated little actress watched that and realized she needed a break and, you know, a childhood.
Of course, covering its bases, the article concedes that perhaps Dakota Fanning will actually be the next Dakota Fanning. (Duh, and Mary-Louise Parker has always been Mary-Louise Parker.) But if by "Dakota Fanning," you mean "cute, precocious actress who can convey a range of emotions," well, why not look to her own little sister Elle? Now 9, she's played the 2-year-old Dakota Fanning role in I Am Sam, had parts in Babel, Reservation Road, Dirty Sexy Money, and more, and has some projects of her own in the works. (She was also supposed to appear in My Sister's Keeper with Dakota, but the elder Fanning reportedly dropped out to avoid shaving her head.) Seriously, the girl is everywhere. So if you really must ask, MTV, here's the real question: Who is the next Elle Fanning? —Lori Fradkin
Who's the Next Dakota Fanning? [MTV.com]

Photo: iStockPhoto
The airlines are federally regulated, and they'd like it to stay that way, worrying that a "patchwork of laws by states and localities would be impractical and harmful to consumer interests," according to the Air Transport Association.
It's not hard to see the potential headache were individual states allowed to make up their own rules about air travel minutiae like flight-attendant fashion or beverage choice ("This is your captain speaking, we're flying over Provo, Utah, please dump your Bloody Marys, ladies and gentlemen — toot sweet.")
In its decision today, the court wrote that “If New York’s view regarding the scope of its regulatory authority carried the day, another state could be free to enact a law prohibiting the service of soda on flights departing from its airports, while another could require allergen-free food options on its outbound flights, unraveling the centralized federal framework for air travel."
We're pretty sure soda and allergen-free food options couldn't bring down the airline industry or the constitution. Regardless, can't we all find some common ground on water and bathrooms? Even Federalists have to pee. —Maggie Shnayerson

Viva FergiePhoto: Courtesy M.A.C Cosmetics
MAKEUP
• Fergie remixed her song “Glamourous” for M.A.C. It's called “Viva Glamourous” and available for legal download starting today. One hundred percent of the proceeds go to the fight against AIDS. [Cosmetic News]
• Crazy Rumors released twelve new beverage-inspired lip balms for soothing chapped lips. The Coffee Lover’s Collection includes amaretto and Irish cream, while the Brew Tea Balms include spiced chai and plum apricot. Sounds delicious. [Spoiled Pretty]
SKIN
• Hey breast-feeders, did you know you can make soap out of that breast milk? Start by freezing at least six cups. Oh, and "be aware of biohazards." [Beauty Brains]
• Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl uses Freeze 24/7, which looks like a portable USB port but actually zaps away lines for glowing skin. [Daily Obsession]
NAILS
• FYI: Formaldehyde is a colorless gas with a bad odor that's also an embalming fluid. It's found in most nail polishes that help prevent chipping and harden nails. So don’t take a huge whiff when you polish, because that’s really bad for you. [BellaSugar]

Pucker up!Photo: Getty Images
Site of the Missing Heatherette Video [M.A.C Cosmetics]

Photo: Getty Images
Remember all that time we spent complaining that she was "too rehearsed"?
Well. Apparently that's not the case anymore, because when the Philadelphia Daily News asked Clinton yesterday why she would pick Greenspan to do this job, she said she didn't know. It was like, she just knew his name and that he had something to do with the economy and thought that, you know, it sounded kind of presidential.
"He has a calming influence still to this day on Wall Street — don't ask me why because I never understand what he's saying — but nevertheless people respond to that Delphic oracle approach. I think it would be wise to include him. And recently he's come out, and very smartly so, that we have to deal with housing and maybe we need to have some kind of buyout mechanism for mortgages. So he's moved on his understanding and depth of the problem — but you know you could pick three others. You just have to have some demonstrable involvement of presidential leadership."
Oh, cool, we can pick three others? How about Angelo Mozilo, Chuck Prince, and Stan O'Neal? They all know a little something about high-risk mortgages. Crikey, lady.
Clinton's "Delphic oracle" Alan Greenspan [Attytood]
UPDATE: This post has been corrected from the previous version, which incorrectly stated that Clinton suggested Rick Rubin for her economic emergency group. While many have pinned their hopes on the bearded music producer save the recording industry, Clinton understands that expecting him to handle the mortgage crisis as well would be asking a little too much.

Maybe not this bad, though.Courtesy of Jive
•"Devil can get to steppin' / I'm fillin' in all the cracks he stepped in."
Not bad, actually.
•"We trying to raise the riggedy roof from the basement."
Roof-raising reference a bit dated; also, confirms our suspicion that the 37-year-old would spice his flow with Sugar Hill Gang–style rappity bappities.
•"I'm not tryin to make ya'll dance / I want you to sit there and advance."
That's bad rapping and bad marketing. What is this, the Footloose town?
So, looks like our shit-talking based on assumptions and stereotypes turned out to be justified. Thanks to user "loveisdope" for the tip, and don't think this means those Vulture rhymes aren't still comin' at y'all! —Ben Mathis-Lilley
Earlier: Just How Bad of a Rapper Is Aretha Franklin's Son?

The flats and our new favorite bagPhoto: Everett Bogue
Alas, oftentimes when we open the boxes, we're totally let down. The little photos on Target's Website aren't always representative of what you get, and we sometimes end up with something that doesn't look like it cost $30. Or worse yet, we find ourselves in possession of pants that won't get past our hips though they swear they're a size 6. And with our boobs, we're not even sure we want to try Jovovich-Hawk. So with fingers crossed we ordered a Loeffler Randall cream tote and black patent cinch flats. The reader reviews said the bag smelled funky, so we weren't sure what we'd end up with.
But here's where we get all service-y: The bag rocks. We won't lie — it totally smells weird. It's made from polyurethane and your seatmates on the train will be well aware of that fact. But it's cute, roomy, and not pricey. In fact, it looks moderately expensive, and the gold lining kind of made our day. We just need to figure out how to de-scent it and we'll be rocking it tomorrow. And the flats? Very Loeffler Randall (though on the narrow side, so order up a half size if you've got wide feet). Ladies, we can proudly say that we scored this time. And now we wait for Botkier… —Amina Akhtar
Related: This Just In: Botkier for Target

So she's finally the Girl Who Went to Paris — fat lot of good that did.Photo courtesy of MTV
On to the actual show. First, in Paris:
We're in the thick of Lauren and Whitney's French adventure, which is "about to change everything." We didn't realize that this trip is only one week. That is a short amount of time to "change everything," and also a short amount of time to be carrying the shitload of luggage these two are toting. But there are lots of French things to look at: bridges, bicycles, the Eiffel Tower!
As the girls are ostensibly in town to cover the Crillion Ball for Teen Vogue, they immediately find out they're supposed to pick up shoes from Colette for a photo shoot and then get their own ball gowns from Alberta Ferretti. Lauren pronounces Givenchy "Give-in-She," and we laugh and laugh. Don't you want to work in fashion, L.C.? Their driver, who is so very français, corrects her. He might be snarling; difficult to tell. Of course, Lauren decides they HAVE to get the ball gowns first (which are, admittedly, very pretty), and by the time they get to Colette, it's closed. Aha! Lauren always messes stuff like this up; we wonder why they don't just fire her…?
Lauren gets a phone call from Audrina, conveniently timed mid-shoot to tell her that Brody, in the course of two days, has gotten himself a new girlfriend. See, Lauren really did lose the guy by going to Paris … FOR ONE WEEK. God, these kids move fast. Fast on the rebound, the girls go to a bar to meet some rock guys from a band called lamely Rock n' Roll. Not surprisingly, they're all pretty lame, especially Mathias, who has clearly been hired to have eye-sex with Lauren. The girls decide to meet the band at a very "fancy" club, but Lauren has nothing but pencil skirts packed! Tragedy! So, in a move WE'RE SURE was of her own accord, she hems her Ferretti ball gown into a cocktail dress and wears it to the club. It looks kind of cute.
The next day is the ball, and while Lauren's getting ready, she realizes her dress has a huge orange stain on it. But it's not from the club — it's actually from her curling iron. That's right: She didn't screw up the massively expensive gown by trying to hem it, or by wearing it to la discothèque. No, she messed it up by hanging it up right next to her trusty Conair, and the gown got burned. HILARITY. Our heroine is near tears, but by making sidekick Whitney (yep, she's still around) call the dress store for her, Lauren is able to get a new Ferretti dress just in time for the ball. She leaves early and goes riding around with Mathias on his Vespa in the drizzling rain. Très romantique! It's light out when he brings her back to the hotel, which could be the result of either a very late night or very poor editing.
So, how did Paris change everything? "After witnessing all the couture," Whitney decides she wants out of Teen Vogue. And Lauren maybe broke a nail or something? Unclear.
Meanwhile, in Colorado:
Heidi's been hiding out from Spencer at her parents' house in Crested Butte and skiing with her mom, who is a very bad actress. Mom would love to see Heidi "starting fresh" and dumping Spencer's manipulative ass, and Heidi purses her INSANELY PLUMPED-UP lips in contemplation. Heidi needs to stop with the plastic surgery, stat. She resembles this doll once had; its hard head was too creepy to look at and so it was best used as a weapon (apologies to our younger sister). Spencer's very sad in his dirty apartment in L.A., and after his evil twin, Stephanie, counsels him to give Heidi space, Spencer decides to drive to Colorado to get her back. Smart move, McDoucherton. Spencer and Heidi have a dramatic reunion: She doesn't really say anything and he just looks mean, as always. Then they fight about breaking up in front of her parents. We are embarrassed for everyone involved in this situation, except for Spencer and Heidi. And her parents. Spencer wants Heidi back, Heidi wants her space, and Spencer calls her "delusional." Spencer ends up going home, sans Heidi. And they all live happily ever after.
And now, our Unequivocal Hills Reality Index, wherein we evaluate the most real and staged moments of the show.
As Real As Lauren Is Awkward
• Eduourdo, the weirdo ball escort. "Do you surf?" he asks Lauren. Ha-ha. Ha. That guy is totally genuine.
• Mariah Carey's story about burning her hair off with a curling iron. Well, duh. That probably shouldn't count, but needed mentioning.
• Whitney's getting nauseous after she and Lauren can't pick up the shoes. "I feel pukey!" she says, making gagging noises. This is the most un-robotlike we¹ve ever seen Whitney act.
More Fake Than Audrina's Boobs
• Audrina's phone call to Lauren, which was definitely read from a script. But she can't really read, which is what makes it tragic.
• Spencer's "surprise" visit. If it were a surprise, why were there cameras outside, waiting for him to arrive? Heidi's dad's delivery of, "What the heck are you doing here?" should win him a Razzie.
• Lauren's dress just happens to get burned? We swear we saw an MTV PA sneaking out of that room, hysterically laughing.
—Emma Rosenblum

For whatever reason, since the departure of Strauss, the network has made a couple of canny moves and watched as its next big series has passed its first real test in the marketplace. Most importantly, though, the network has announced the series that we think just might save it: Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl.
We know that the book, based on Tracy Quan's Salon.com dispatches, only sort of followed through on its promise. It was neither as sexy nor as revelatory as we hoped, and sacrificed a keen sociological eye for soapy plot. On TV, though, we'd much rather have the soapy plot, and that's why we're glad that Darren Star is signed on to produce. We think this show is perfectly aligned at the nexus of money, sex, vice, and power, and is therefore perhaps the platonic ideal of an HBO show.
Meanwhile, since Strauss's departure, the channel has also green-lit such smart ideas as a new show from the Mr. Show guys and a remake of the awesome-sounding British series Suburban Shootout. Meanwhile, John Adams is getting the best ratings for any HBO mini-series in years. And even as the network (and everyone) mourns the death of Anthony Minghella, the pilot he shot for HBO's potentially fantastic The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency has garnered great ratings in its BBC premiere.
HBO has suffered mightily as its best shows shut down and other cable networks — Showtime, FX, even SciFi — began airing the kinds of daring series that used to be HBO's sole domain. Here's hoping the smart people at the pay network get back on track, because when HBO's good, there's never been anyone better…even way back in 1983.
Bedford-Stuyvesant: The Kodachrome Building — you know, that crazy new condo building on Spencer Street with the Mondrian-like color blocks? It's going rental. [Brownstoner]
Clinton Hill: Notorious, the biopic of the late, Brooklyn-raised rapper Notorious B.I.G, has taken over the neighborhood. [Clinton Hill]
Carroll Gardens: Someone's been found dead in an apartment on Carroll Street! Was it murder? [ Gowanus Lounge]
Norwood: Anna Rogovin, 91, an old-timer in this part of the Bronx, is doing well and chatting up a storm from her hospital bed after being hit by a truck and having both legs amputated. You go, girl! [West Bronx Blog]
Prospect Heights: Here and elsewhere in Brooklyn, Obama graffiti murals are popping up. The audacity of … spray paint? [Gothamist]
Turtle Bay: Were these roomies whose crib was crushed by the big crane robbed of $30,000 or $80,000 worth of electronics and jewelry? We'll say this: Cost of not being home during the crash? Priceless. [Gothamist]
Williamsburg: Some property owners oppose plans to cap building heights around Grand Street to four floors, saying they should go as high as seven. [NYP via Curbed]

Lady Pink’s A Lovely Entrapment (2008). Courtesy of Ad Hoc Art

See that right there?! Yep.Photo courtesy of the New York Yankees
Image Gallery — Yankees Premium Offerings [New York Yankees]
Glam Slam: Yankees Show Off New Stadium's Bling [Curbed]

Liquor Store no more: the site of the new men's J.Crew.Photo: Melissa Hom
We’re going to have fun communicating the kind of men’s clothes that we’re designing and selling.” It will carry a “highly edited” assortment of “the best-of-the-best” of the J. Crew men’s collection, including “all our special goods and more novelty items,” Drexler said. That will include the company’s Collector’s Items, its upscale, limited-edition pieces, as well as items on its “Always List,” must-haves that every man should own. For spring, the list includes broken-in T’s, cotton/cashmere cardigans, madras ties and lightweight chinos.
We won't say what this reminds us of exactly, since we haven't seen the store yet — but let's say it's not quite the first of its kind in the neighborhood. There just might be a little turf war come May or June when the new Crew opens its doors.
If you're having trouble imaging the bar-as-retail thing, we peeked inside yesterday. Concrete imagery after the jump.

Now just imagine it filled with seersucker.Photo: Melissa Hom
—Amina Akhtar
J. Crew’s Men’s Store A “Gallery” For Brand

Courtesy of Weinstein Company
How did the fanboys (sort of) save Fanboys? By declaring an Internet-organized boycott of the Weinstein Company's Superhero Movie this weekend. Although that seems on the face of things the least threatening boycott ever — given the potentially meager audiences for Superhero Movie in the first place — it makes a certain kind of sense.
Fanboys is about four Star Wars fans who scheme to sneak onto George Lucas’s property in order to sneak a look at The Phantom Menace; one of the gang has cancer, lending the whole affair a last-waltz feel (at least before Weinstein Co. interceded). Superhero Movie is an assembly-line, crotch-humor-based spoof of Spider-Man/X-Men/etc. that therefore counts the comic-book/fantasy/Star Wars geek population as a target audience. So, if an Internet boycott were ever to work, it would be this one.
It’s odd, though, to think that the whole fracas is about putting a plot thread about cancer back into Fanboys in order to make it the shaded dramedy it was apparently intended to be. Put another way, America’s sci-fi geeks are striking for the cause of emotional subtlety and artistic integrity… and if they get what they want, they’ll see Superhero Movie. But such is the nature of compromise, we suppose, and lo, such is the nature of [blogger gets hit in nuts by generic, non-trademark-infringing supervillain]. —Ben Mathis-Lilley
Fans press Weinstein on 'Fanboys' [HR]
Note: "On the other hand, Harvey optioned Wolf Boy, so he's okay in our book!"

Photo: Itamar Moses
Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Does Batman count? "Gotham" is basically New York, right? If so, then Batman. If not, then Jennifer Connolly. I saw her in my neighborhood once, and it changed my life.
What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
That's tough. But the chef's special rolls at Yamato Sushi on Seventh Avenue in Brooklyn are incredible.
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
I write for a few hours first thing in the morning, before I shower even, wearing clothes from the previous day, so that I can get as much done as possible before my brain turns on and stops me, by filling with doubt, brooding about the past, or coming up with ideas for things I can do with the rest of my day; I spend the rest of my day doing those things.
Would you still live here on a $35,000 salary?
What's a "salary"?
What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
Just in the last two weeks I saw Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Come Back Little Sheba, and Rock 'n' Roll. This was a fluke. I lucked into a string of free tickets.
Do you give money to panhandlers?
Sometimes. Mainly the ones around where I live because of the strange way in which I feel that I "know" them.
What's your drink?
Jameson. Rocks. Is that the right answer?
How often do you prepare your own meals?
Shamefully rarely, given how great the kitchen is in the house where I live. More often when I travel, to rehearse a play out of town, for some reason. Maybe because the food is worse everywhere else.
What's your favorite medication?
This is a really weird question that says more about your magazine than my answer could possibly say about me. But when I had all four wisdom teeth removed, I was on Vicodin for a few days. That's a feeling I've been trying to recapture ever since. And when I get a cold I get excited to take Sudafed because it's basically speed. Then I lie still, feeling my heart beating in my lips.
What's hanging above your sofa?
There are actually three sofas in my living room. One of my housemates is, among other things, a freelance paleontological illustrator, which means he draws dinosaurs, so over two of the sofas are enormous framed pencil drawings of dinosaurs. Over the third sofa are three paintings he did of a park in New Haven, Connecticut. Above which are several more framed drawings of dinosaurs. They're actually everywhere. I am not joking. I'd be willing to bet that my house contains the largest private collection of dinosaur art in the world. For what possible reason would anyone have more?
How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
I never spend more than $50, but you'd have to look at my hair to determine if that really answers your question.
When's bedtime?
This is a good barometer of my psychological health. If things are good, then like 11:30 maybe. If things are not so good, then, pointlessly, 2 a.m., as though I'm waiting for something else to happen that day that will earn me my sleep, and it never does.
Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
I moved to New York in 1999, so I don't think I'm qualified to judge. I avoid the new Times Square whenever possible, but I think I might have avoided the old one, too, if for different reasons.
What do you think of Donald Trump?
I like him. He has a sense of humor about himself. I mean, right? He does, right? I'm not projecting that, am I? Because otherwise he's just insane.
What do you hate most about living in New York?
The knowledge that, because it is impossible to conquer New York, you either have to die here or leave defeated. You cannot leave in triumph. Or, I mean, maybe you can, if you reach some kind of "emotional maturity," but good luck with that, everybody.
Who is your mortal enemy?
And give them a heads-up? Please. They will never see me coming.
When's the last time you drove a car?
When I went to see my parents in California over the holidays. I love driving. There. I hate it here.
Who should be the next president?
Probably someone who could never get elected, like Joseph Biden. Have you ever seen that guy yelling at generals about torture? I want a president who is as apoplectically outraged as I am about the last eight years. Though I also understand why that's maybe not constructive.
Times, Post, or Daily News?
Times. Except when I'm waiting for my food late at night in the 24-hour diner on my corner, and the Post and the News are lying around. Then I like to look at the covers and see how they came up with headlines to make exactly the same story mean opposite things. Incidentally, they don't seem to have senses of humor about themselves.
Where do you go to be alone?
I'm alone pretty much all day, usually asking myself, "Where do I go not to be alone?"
What makes someone a New Yorker?
I guess being here with no return ticket, so to speak. Departure not anywhere on the calendar. I mean, the same thing that makes someone anything: committing to it. That, or having been born here. Then you're a New Yorker no matter where you go.

Courtesy of NBC … for now
So first How I Met Your Mother turns into Scrubs, and now the actual Scrubs is getting another year. We guess we don't hate the show or anything — any program that ensures the continued employment of John C. McGinley can't be all bad — but seriously, if this winds up being the final nail in Cavemen's coffin, we're gonna be pissed. And if Steve McPherson really wanted to stick it to his rival, Ben Silverman, shouldn't he steal a show that Silverman actually likes?
Source: Definitely ABC for Scrubs [E!]
Earlier: ‘How I Met Your Mother’: Does It Feel Braffy in Here?
MEDIA
• Fox is refusing to pay a $91,000 FCC-imposed fine for a 2003 broadcast of Married by America that featured footage of strippers at bachelor and bachelorette parties. Has the FCC never seen The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll? Or, you know, TV? [Bloomberg]
• Katie Couric snaps an unsuspecting Larry King's suspenders. [WWD]
FINANCE
• The Federal Reserve's PDAs with Wall Street are making some people uncomfortable. [Business Week]
• JPMorgan Chase made a whopping $1.36 billion on Visa's IPO. "It's hard to raise that kind of cash in today's market," an analyst said. [CNN]
• More than 20,000 more layoffs are expected in New York financial sectors — not including at Bear Stearns. [DealBook/NYT]
LAW
• The Justice Department approved the Sirus-XM satellite-radio merger. That means Howard Stern, Martha Stewart, Judith Regan, and the Rolling Stones will now be mixing and mingling with Oprah. [NYO]
• Did the JPMorgan lawyers screw up the Bear Stearns deal? [WSJ]
• Milberg LLP's co-founder Melvyn Weiss faces 33 months in prison and a $10 million fine after pleading guilty to a kickback scheme. [Fortune]

Photo: French Vogue, Italian Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar

Photo: Patrick McMullen
Related: Death of a Broker [NYM]

Photo: Getty Images
Related: Christian Siriano Dresses Heidi Klum, Dates a Brooklynite

Corrupting female youth overseas.Photo: missbimbo.com
Players keep a constant watch on the weight, wardrobe, wealth and happiness of their character to create “the coolest, richest and most famous bimbo in the world”. Competing against other children they earn “bimbo dollars” to buy plastic surgery, diet pills, facelifts, lingerie and fashionable nightclub outfits.
So in case there was any doubt, Paris Hilton & Co. have in fact infiltrated the under-12 age bracket, proving that putting them on the covers of teen magazines was probably a bad idea. Shocking, we know. Founded by Nicholas Jacquart, Miss Bimbo began in France where it's racked up 1.2 million players. Jacquart recently moved to London and established a company that pimps the site in the U.K., where he's attracted 200,000 members, upsetting people left and right. “This is as lethal as pro-anorexia Websites. A lot of children will get caught up with the extremely damaging and appalling messages,” said a doctor who treats girls ages 8 to 18 with eating disorders.
Since it's free and we're well past the impressionable age of 16, we registered on Miss Bimbo to assess its awfulness. First, the site's hella slow and they forgot to translate some bits from French to English. Also, though registration requires a parent's e-mail, our "parents" got no confirmation while the Cut did.
When we logged in for the first time, our cartoon Barbie-esque bimbo appeared in a bra and panties. We're told we have to feed her to keep her alive. We're also told our target weight is 127 (we start at 127.6) and our first "goal" is to "change [our] drab hairstyle to become a popular blonde with cool pigtails." Our happiness is at 99 percent, but as Wall Street is proving these days, what's up must come down. We'll keep playing and let you know if anything pops up (or down).
Miss Bimbo website promotes extreme diets and surgery to 9-year-olds [Times UK]

Photo Illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images, AP
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