“In the dark sewer of misanthropic, gynophobic, and Rabelaisian epithets running through the comments section of celebrity blogs, one can also find gems of authentic emotional connection to celebrity foibles… A good number of readers seem to write in the openly delusional… belief that if their post is sincere or hateful enough, the walls separating their own lives from the lives of celebrities will dissolve, transporting them from the backlit world of their LCD screens to the super-pollinated atmosphere of the media daisy chain.”
Also, these readers/commenters tend to be "women between the ages of 16 and 34... during the corporate lunch hour."
(Cover image via Daily Swarm)
Big Lead: The Coles Story and a Drive to Florida: An Interview with New York Times NFL Writer Karen Crouse
My friend Alexis (a huge Colbert fan) sent me an e-mail predicting how Colbert might respond to my argument that Chinese food is more American than apple pie given how much we eat apple pie versus Chinese food, and how I should recover from that.
Colbert : "I eat apple pie every morning - with a jack and coke - and a bald eagle egg omlette."
Jenny: Well, there are exceptions - and you are clearly an exceptional American - for most would say Chinese food.
Other things he might do:
* Introduce the idea that the Chinese are taking over the world, starting with the restaurants. ("If that happens, I'm hedged. I speak Chinese, what about you?" or "That might happen. I suggest that your kids learn to speak Chinese. My mom's a tutor.")
* Bring up any comment about the fact that fortune cookies were copied from the Japanese by the Chinese ("We don't feel so bad about it, they've been copying us for centuries.").
* Of course, ask about the middle number as initial. ("The Chinese love the number 8. The Beijing Olympics are starting at 8 p.m. on August 8, 2008. They really wanted this Olympics.")
Lee's friend was right about the apple pie thing. All the studying seemed to leave Lee looking just a tad over-prepared and stiff, but it's hard to fault her when she kept the discussion focused on her book and scored the requisite-but-never-guarnteed book plug from the host at the end.
Huffington Post: Preparing For "The Colbert Report"

Photo: Getty Images

Her bag is bulky with sweaters.Photo: Getty Images
We Hate Her! In a Q&A on the official American Idol Website, contestant Carly Smithson says her all-time favorite AI moment was when Sanjaya Malakar got voted off. [Rickey.org]
David Gordon Green Can Do Anything! The Playlist takes a look at the varied movies David Gordon Green has reportedly been attached to these past few years, from the one about motocross champion James Stewart Jr. to the film adaptation of Confederacy of Dunces to a summer-camp comedy to star Seann William Scott. He would be perfect to direct the Cavemen movie! [Playlist]
Proof That Matt Groening Is Aware of Movies! Here's a pretty excellent illustrated guide to 40 of The Simpsons' best-ever movie references. [Neenja]
Britney Spears' papa is on the payroll.
According to court documents from Wednesday's unscheduled court hearing, Jamie Spears will now be paid a weekly compensation of $2,500 from...According to Narrative contributer and writer Rick Bass:
"The old ways, though well-intentioned, just aren't working anymore and haven't been working for about 20 years," says Bass. "It's just that books are on their own more than ever, these days. And that's fine, if one prefers to run into a headwind. But sometimes literary works benefit from any slight gust of tailwind, and when you believe in the American literary tradition as deeply as Tom and Carol do, you want to explore ways of empowering and carrying that tradition forward."2 editors' online journal gives new life to literature [SF Chronicle]

Photo Illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Landov,
iStockphoto
I appreciate your input but at this stage in my life at Countrywide this process is no longer about money but more about respect and acknowledgement of my accomplishments.… Boards have been placed under enormous pressure by the left wing business press and the envious leaders of unions and other so called 'CEO Comp Watchers' and therefore Boards are being forced to protect themselves irrespective of the potential negative long term impact on public companies. I strongly believe that a decade from now there will be a recognition that entrepreneurship has been driven out of the public sector resulting in underperforming companies and a willingness on the part of Boards to pay for performance.
That's right, Angelo. You've got to fight those liberal bastards or else they'll take away everything that is right and good in the world. Now go tell it on the mountain, friend.

Photo: Getty Images
The McLaughlin Groove [Fair Game]

Photo: Courtesy of M.A.C. Cosmetics
FRAGRANCE
• Costume National returns to fragrance with Costume National 21, its first scent since 2004, to celebrate its 21st anniversary. [Cosmetic News]

Rendering courtesy Friends of Moynihan Station
“I'm seeing real positive movement — all the players want to make this work," said Bob Yaro, who carries the civic-consensus banner as head of the Regional Plan Association. According to our source on the inside, parties are stalking a grand bargain in which the Feds would drum up $500 to $550 billion, in part via tax credits that the House Ways and Means chairman Charles Rangel would snag, and the city and state and Garden and developers would match that sum. However the players come to terms, it's clear that Spitzer has tied Moynihan's success to his own credibility. “It's among his chief economic-development priorities,” said Cockfield. So the daily screeds about public-private futility, say insiders, constitute a “natural part” of negotiations as private players squeeze the governor to steamroll into the discussions. Now that he has, everyone agrees, the developers gain much more by being patient than they would from pulling the plug. So if the Yankees and Mets are a little dull this summer, we should get lots of Moynihan leaks to keep us alert. —Alec Appelbaum
On the bright side, Joe Francis will have plenty of time to brainstorm ideas for his new "Girls Gone Wild" magazine.
Once again, a judge in Reno, Nevada, has shot down a request from...
Photo: Getty Images
Your work has usually been pretty sui generis. How did you end up adapting someone else’s novel?
My friend Jesse Peretz [director of The Chateau] had optioned this book. I was looking to take a break and do some writing. He asked me to read it and consider doing the job for him. I’d never adapted anything before, so I just wrote it as I was reading it. I called up and told Jesse I liked the book and had adapted it for him. He liked it, and I did a couple of more versions for him. Then he went off to do another movie. Some time later, the producers asked me if I wanted to direct it.
So: Amy Sedaris as Barb, the waitress. Explain.
I just had a big crush on her and wanted to get her in the sack. [Laughs] We’d auditioned a lot of women for the role, and they were coming in acting like they were Flo from Alice, that whole “Kiss my grits” thing. Maybe that’s how I’d written it on the page, so I can see how it might be interpreted as such. But it wasn’t right. Finally, my casting director said, “You know what? You’re not finding who you like, and you don’t know what you want.” That’s one of those interesting points you get to as a director every now and then. They said, “Let’s open it up, and let’s not be so specific about who we’re calling in. Let’s just call in people like Amy Sedaris.” And suddenly I thought, Why don’t we just give it to Amy Sedaris? That’s exactly who should play the part.
That ties in to something else that I’ve heard you say, which is that you wanted actors who could do comedy in these roles, despite the story being so bleak.
Absolutely. I thought it was essential. In a book, you’re reading it, you’re alone, sitting on a couch, or reading in bed, or out in the backyard. The movie is a cinematic shared experience. In order to attach to the shared humanity of these roles, you needed human beings that were well rounded in the parts. Otherwise, if it’s just bleak and depressing, people can just turn on a soap opera. For me, it came from the fact that movies are a communal experience. And casting actors who could do comedy also freed me from having to write jokes or something.
Stewart O’Nan said that he’s impressed with how much Olivia Thirlby’s character, Lila, changed from the novel, with how much more lively and hopeful she is in the film.
That was a role I didn’t even audition anyone ever for. And Olivia had never acted before.
How’d you find her?
My producer, Paul Miller, met her at a party, and told me I should hang out with her. So we went and got a tuna sandwich one day. She was pretty extraordinary. She had a sense of self-awareness without being self-conscious, which is a very specific, wonderful attribute. I didn’t audition Michael Angarano, either. I just met him in an elevator one day, and I knew I wanted him for this role.
Speaking of raw acting talents, do you still keep in touch with the kids from George Washington?
I do. One of them is here in the hotel right now. I flew him out last night for a screening of George Washington. I lost track of one of them – Donald Holden, who plays George — but Damien, who plays Vernon, the big kid, is here right now. He’s 22. Curtis Cotton, the kid who plays Buddy, is now getting a degree in music theory in Greensboro, North Carolina. We got deferred money on the film, and it paid for a year of their college. I’m really happy about that.
Finally, Pineapple Express. How the heck did you get involved in that?
Basically, after Snow Angels, I just wanted to do something fun and loose and light, with some action in it. We’ve got a body count, though. Like 400 or something. But I needed some popcorn. It’s kind of like after Oscar season, when everybody just wants to see something like Wild Hogs. It was a blast. I can’t wait to do it again. —Bilge Ebiri

Vogue's April cover modelsPhoto: Getty Images

Issue: "Fall Fashion Spectacular" (bottom right)
Date: September 2004.
Cover models: Daria Werbowy, Natalia Vodianova, and Gisele Bündchen.
Models on fold-out flap: Isabeli Fontana, Karolina Kurkova, Liya Kebede, Hana Soukupova, Gemma Ward, and Karen Elson.
Issue: "The Age Issue" (bottom center)
Date: August 2004.
Cover models: Priscilla, Lisa Marie, and Riley Presley.
Issue: "The New City Chic" (bottom left)
Date: November 2000.
Cover models: Carmen Kass, Angela Lindvall, Maggie Rizer, and Frankie Rayder.
Issue: "A Century of Vogue Fashion" (top right)
Date: November 1999.
Cover models: Kate Moss, Gisele Bündchen, Lauren Hutton, and Iman.
Models on fold-out flap: Naomi Campbell, Stephanie Seymour, Amber Valletta, Christy Turlington, Claudia Schiffer, Lisa Taylor, Paulina Porizkova, Carolyn Murphy, and Patti Hansen.



Issue: "Reality Chic Fashion" (top center)
Date: May 2005.
Cover model: Liya Kebede.
Issue: "Gifted: 175 Perfect Presents" (top right)
Date: December 2002.
Cover model: Halle Berry.
Issue: "Strong and Sexy Spring" (bottom left)
Date: January 2001.
Cover model: Marion Jones.
Issue: "Oprah!" (bottom center)
Date: October 1998.
Cover model: Oprah.
Issue: "The Best and Worst Looks of '97" (bottom right)
Date: January 1998.
Cover models: Melanie Brown with fellow Spice Girls Victoria Beckham, Geri Halliwell, Emma Bunton, and Melanie Chisholm.
Link and Mario have slayed dragons and stomped evil mushrooms in their own separate Wii adventures — but who would win in a street fight? The latest entry in the Super Smash Bros. series lets you and three friends pit characters from the Nintendo universe against each other, Mortal Kombat style, employing an impressive selection of (bloodless, sadly) punches and kicks. And after you’ve literally beaten all your friends, try the game’s all-new single-player adventure mode, or as the cliché has it, get schooled by 10-year-old kids from Wisconsin to Japan via the Wii’s built-in wi-fi.
The Hiltons used to be the ones doing the charging. Nowadays, they seem to be more familiar with being charged themselves.
The Los Angeles District Attorney has formally charged 18-year-old...
Photo: Getty Images
As for Chris Cooper, he says he's left his Missouri cattle-ranching days behind for good. "You know, when I was younger, it was a very physical job, and you were called on at any time of the day or night to tend to the cattle and help deliver and castrate and tattoo and wean and all that business," Cooper told us. "It was a great way of life, but now that I'm a little bit older, realizing how physical it is, I'm glad I stuck with the acting biz." —Bennett Marcus

Mireille Vautier's Anémone Blanc (2007).Image courtesy of the artist and Safe-T-Gallery, Brooklyn, NY.
Meticulous handiwork, unlikely medium — artist Mireille Vautier aestheticizes plastic bags as only American Beauty’s Ricky Fitts has done before her. Her embroidered works are up at Brooklyn’s Safe-T-Gallery through March 23. —Rachel Wolff
Kyle McNally’s Mourning After reminds us of the painfully earnest relationship dramas we wanted to make when we were in college, except that his is much, much better than ours would have been. Elegantly conceived, filmed, and acted, McNally’s lyrical and meditative film is equal parts melodrama and art installation, utilizing a frame divided into quadrants, each telling one part of a multifaceted story. But before you start chanting, “Mike Figgis got there first!” we should note that McNally’s portrait of a doomed relationship in miniature is far more touching and efficient than anything Figgis ever put onscreen. It’s all the more impressive, then, that McNally made this while a student at Yale University, for a fiction-film workshop. Also, no need to adjust the volume knob on your computer — we’re pretty sure it’s meant to sound that sparse. —Bilge Ebiri
Cobble Hill: The very popular Brooklyn Tattoo Shop is leaving the hood. [Brooklyn Heights Blog]
Dumbo: Two generally accepted truths debunked in one article: New York has outpriced artists, and the members of the Walentas family are a bunch of scrooges. [NYT]
Fort Greene: Attention, 124 Dekalb Avenue: Spike Lee has left the building. [Brownstoner]
Prospect Lefferts Garden: Wow, check out this new glass tower here. It's going to have huge LED displays that change color — but we bet whatever tint they come up with, it won't, um, match. [Curbed]
Staten Island: A dude in Clifton whose 12-year-old flashed a girl was prescient enough to order her not to tell anyone. She, however, was prescient enough to only tell the cops. [Staten Island Advance]
Williamsburg: The new lights at the McCarren pool were left on all night and day, and may not be turned off for ten days. Oh, and also, they make the whole area (including inside people's apartments) as light as day. [Gowanus Lounge]

From left, Vanessa Bruno, Isabel Marant, Tsumori Chisato.Photos: ImaxTree, ImaxTree, Getty Images.
Isabel Marant
This bohemian-cool collection has a cultlike following and is hands-down my best-selling brand. Slouchy trousers and pocket skirts are layered with military-inspired jackets and vests, all worn with perfectly scrunched suede tall boots. There was a strong Native American influence in the stunning embroidered tunics and fringed dresses. Plaids were important too, both in traditional black-and-red wool flannel and in slub-silk dresses and button-downs. I am already pining for the amazing fox-fur-lined jackets and coats!
Tsumori Chisato
Hailing from Japan, Tsumori is one of the most innovative and creative designers showing in Paris —or anywhere for that matter. Mixing colors, dramatic proportions and wild prints is what she is known for, and this season was beautiful! A soft, pastel color palette of ecru, gray, and dusty lilac were mixed with shots of bright colors like royal blue, violet, and chartreuse. The shaggy, ombré-mohair overcoat with a dramatic gathered neckline was simply stunning, as was the show-ending floor-length floral-printed chiffon dress. The trouble with this collection is deciding what not to order!
This designer's season was a study in contrasts. Dark, moody blacks and grays were offset by striking looks in all-white and cream, while slinky silk dresses and trousers were paired with tailored wool jackets and coats. Fur was very important: It showed up in every look from fuzzy white skullcaps to a chubby cropped jacket and long vest in the most beautiful shade of dark green. Gorgeous, layered silk-printed dresses were inspired by butterflies and their patterned wings. One of my favorite looks was the black silk cocktail dress, whose exaggerated fringed hem can double as a built-in scarf.
While you were having your own Project Runway viewing party last night, Jada Yuan took a camera crew to Bravo’s. Jillian, Rami, and Christian talked about the onset of sudden fame, and Sweet P discussed the ins and outs of being a decoy at Bryant Park. Watch the video for more season-four secrets!

Courtesy of Esquire
Professor Betts: Now we have a short story by Ms. Taddeo, called "The Last Days of Heath Ledger." It's a fictionalized account of the death of a famous movie star.
Ginger: I didn't get it?
Professor Betts: What do you mean?
Ginger: Like, the whole thing? He dies, but he keeps talking? Can you do that? Also, I think in a lot of places she was telling, not showing.
Alex: Well, I thought the entire story was a work of genius. All she had to go on was her imagination and an afternoon spent sitting in the Miro Cafe, and she gave us a brilliant look inside the mind of a guy who can pick up any girl he wants but still resents his fans!
Us: You guys didn't think it was totally exploitative? Like, all that stuff about his daughter? Or the part where he can't get it up?
Alex: Oh, no. It's a new paradigm in fiction writing.
Tucker: And the dialogue! I thought it was really brave how she didn't use quotation marks.
That Guy Who Compares Everything to Cormac McCarthy: That was a total McCarthy homage.
Us: I liked the part where she described Jack Nicholson as leaning back and "spreading his legs like he's got seven cocks that need room to breathe." But overall, it seemed kind of overwritten.
Anna: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I know that's your opinion, and it's totally valid, but I sort of, um, I disagree? I thought the story was full of beautiful passages, like, um, the part where he dies?
[Everyone murmurs agreement.]
Us: Really?
Anna: Oh, it was so gorgeous, I mean, that's what I thought, and it seems like everyone agrees with me.
Us: The moment of death sounds like the needle scratching off a record?
Alex: It's a metaphor.
Us: And what about that stuff at the end where he's excoriating his fans for making stuff up about him? Isn't that exactly what she's doing in the story?
Alex: Yes, and it's brilliant. Even as she satirizes celebrity culture, she's winkingly implicating herself as well!
Us: But —
Will: And the story really uses some awesome big words, too. Like "apotheosis."
Susan: That totally worked, because Heath Ledger was, like, a smart movie star. But he had trouble with the Monday crossword too! I can never finish the crossword puzzles, and when I read that I was like, Ohmigod, he's just like me! In that way the author created empathy with her protagonist?
Professor Betts: The editor of Esquire has said he wants to make his magazine's fiction more newsy, like this piece. Do you agree with that idea?
Jim: Oh yeah. This is exactly the kind of revolutionary writing that an edgy magazine like Esquire should run.
Us: I would prefer it if one of the few major outlets for short fiction still available to writers didn't publish stunt stories like this, and instead ran fiction that was really about something, you know?
That Guy Who Compares Everything to Cormac McCarthy: Like Blood Meridian.
Us: Jesus, fine, like Blood Meridian.
The Quiet Girl Who Always Pipes Up at the End to Agree With Everyone: I liked it.
Esquire Publishes a Diary That Isn’t [NYT]
The Last Days of Heath Ledger [Esquire]

Photo: Getty Images
Related: Ally Hilfiger on the 'New Generation of Creative People'
As far as Whoopi Goldberg is concerned, she owes her Oscar to Patrick Swayze.
The "View" cohost said on Thursday's chatfest that her "Ghost" costar was the only person...
Like any new grandpa worth his suspendered salt, Lionel Richie can't stop gushing over the latest celebuspawn to be born into his family.
"G-Pa is right here," Richie announced...
Courtesy of Fox
We think Woolard is great for the part. Sure, nobody knows if he can act, but he's a capable rapper and is certainly obese enough to carry the role physically. Most important, though, he's got resolve. In 2006, The New Yorker ran a great piece by Ben McGrath on violence at Hot 97, in which Woolard had this to say about his shooting:
"I was there to do my job, so I did my job. Now, to people it looks like "Well, you got shot. And you still went in there and did your job?" Like, O.K., let's put the shoe on the other foot. What was I supposed to tell a powerful influence like Flex, at Hot 97? 'You know what, Flex? I'm sorry, man. I can't do the show. I was standing downstairs—got shot in the ass.' What, are you nuts? Right? It wouldn't make any sense. So I had to do what I had to do."
Yes, we were disappointed by the semi-crappy screenplay for Notorious, but it's at least good to know that Biggie will be played by an actor we can depend on to do the job even if he gets shot in the ass.
Notorious B.I.G. movie finds its big star [Reuters]
Where Hip Hop Lives [NYer]
Earlier: We've Read the Screenplay for the Notorious B.I.G. Biopic
Vulture Helps Cast the Notorious B.I.G. Biopic

Photo: Patrick McMullan
Baird Jones's Memorial Party to Be Held at Club He Secretly Tried to Close [Grub Street]
Related: Gossip Guru Baird Jones Reported Dead

Photo: Getty Images
"Manhattan was a very uptown, bourgeois view of things that just seemed totally false to me at the time. And uninteresting. And when I saw it again I realized it was Woody Allen's fantasy, like the Emerald City of Oz. I found that more touching, in a way, than I did when it came out." —J. Hoberman [Gothamist]
"If you're probing my fantasies, I always wanted to be the older friend of the president who would give them a different slant on the news of the day."—Jack Nicholson, who sounds like he's campaigning for a spot on Hillary Clinton's ticket [MTV]
"I carry my characters around. When I finished playing Amin, I had a long shower to try to get rid of him. I'm not sure it worked." —Forest Whitaker on washing Idi Amin right out of his hair [Guardian]
"If Sonic Youth did it, I figure I could do it! They used their power effectively." —Dennis Cooper on moving to a major publishing house [NYO]

Sparkly!Photo: Courtesy of British Vogue.

Photo: Getty Images
Sure, 21 people have left the show since she started. "I can't stand working here anymore. I can't stand people being humiliated this way," one producer said. And, yes, she did ask a guy to reschedule a colonoscopy because it was sweeps month. But look at it this way: It wasn't like she offered to give him the colonoscopy herself. And, okay, she make a grown man read an apology to his colleagues after he made a crack about Early Show stories not being credible. But a good daytime-show manager knows that news stories are like Tinker Bell: They're only real if everyone believes in them. So it was really for the common good. And how did the network thank her? They called together a meeting and encouraged everyone to "air their complaints" about a sobbing Shelley to her face. "Not a lot of people spoke up," a source tells "Page Six." "They were nervous. Shelley tends to be…slightly vindictive." Wusses. And would you really call acting like "a screaming, raving lunatic" vindictive? We think that's just the manifestation of hurt feelings.
Shelley Ross Not Expected Back at CBS' 'Early Show' [Page Six]

Denim hath grazed the thigh of Wintour.Photo: Getty Images
Cover Boy Chic [NYP]

On the left, Wintour at the Open on September 8, 2007, in a dress. On the right, Wintour at the Open on September 5, 2007, in almost the exact dress in white. We can't believe she's actually wearing her badge around her neck in both. At Fashion Week that's the equivalent of wearing headgear in seventh grade.Photo: Getty Images

On the left, Wintour attends the Open in a lovely red dress with extra-blonde summer hair and a surprising choice of footwear on August 28, 2006. On the right, Wintour at the Open on September 7, 2005, looking as though she dropped her badge.Photo: Getty Images
He may be out of touch with his ex, but Cris Judd still has full confidence in Jennifer Lopez's maternal instincts.
"She's going to be a great mom," Judd said Wednesday on...MEDIA
• Esquire reports on how Heath Ledger spent his last days…except the story is not exactly true. Or, um, tasteful. [Vulture]
• Let the deluge begin! Media companies line up to bid for Weather Channel, which is up for auction. [DealBook/NYT]
• Wal-Mart appears to be irritated by Meredith Corporation's creative tactic of selling its magazines, which include Better Homes and Gardens and Ladies' Home Journal, at the Dollar Tree store. [Folio]
FINANCE
• If Al Gore goes forward with his plan to hold a $100 million IPO for his cable company, Current Media, the former vice-president could pocket $48 million. Considering that his venture has lost $31.5 million in the last three years, is his scheme a little…err…convenient? [Business Week]
• Microsoft has enlisted Bear Stearns CEO Alan Schwartz to advise on the $42 billion Yahoo deal. [The Deal]
• Goldman Sachs is giving $100 million to teach business skills to women in the Middle East, Asia, and Africa. [DealBook/NYT]
LAW
• Fidelity Investment will pay $8 million to settle SEC claims that the mutual-funds firm let staff members accept Super Bowl tickets, private-jet travel, cigar-filled humidors, escorts, Ecstasy, cases of Bordeaux, U2 concert tickets... [Law Blog/WSJ]
• The U.S. Polo Association didn't infringe on a Ralph Lauren trademark when it used a man on a horse as a logo. You've got to feel kind of bad for the USPA having to go up against the retail giant — after all, how many ways can someone playing polo actually be depicted? [Law.com]
• A very unscientific study shows that bankruptcy and commercial litigation are the hot legal practices in New York. [Above the Law]

Photo Illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images
• Roger Simon lays out five possibilities for Florida and Michigan: forget about them, seat their delegates as is, split the delegates evenly between both candidates, hold a revote, or just wait for a savior to ride in and broker a compromise. [Politico]
• Arian Campo-Flores tries to sort out the confusion over Florida governor Charlie Crist's pseudo-endorsement of a new primary. [Stumper/Newsweek]
• Carol Platt Liebau notes with some pleasure that the Democrats are left with either changing the rules in the middle of the game or else admitting that not every vote counts. [Town Hall]
• Ben Smith says it's a risk for both candidates to take a stance against a revote. Should it actually happen against their wishes, it's likely the voters will remember their opposition. [Politico]
• Mark Ambinder writes that Clinton's only option now is a revote, since he doesn't believe a credentials committee would rule in her favor. [Atlantic]
• Joan Walsh seems to favor a revote, pondering whether the resistance to one basically revolves around the monetary cost. [Salon]
• A Chronicle editorial supports a revote in the form of a caucus, an Obama-friendly, but low-cost, alternative to a primary. [San Francisco Chronicle]
• Chuck Todd and friends think that Dean is shirking his leadership role and that the Democrats may need a heavy hitter like Al Gore to broker a solution. [First Read/MSNBC]
• Representative Jesse Jackson Jr., an Obama supporter, is opposed to reneging on the DNC's penalty against Florida and Michigan and also hopes the states don't hold it against Obama. [Huffington Post] —Dan Amira
For a complete guide to presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain — from First Love to Most Embarrassing Gaffe — read the 2008 Electopedia.

Photos: Getty Images
Legendary German director Uwe Boll is picking fights again. Two years after he entered the boxing ring to take on his critics, Boll (legend in his own mind) is claiming he will crush Steven Spielberg (authentic film legend) when his latest video-game adaptation, Postal, opens on the same weekend as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Boll asserts the mighty box-office power of his newest horror-comedy in an e-mail to the movie Website Bloody Disgusting (all [sic]s implied, natch):
On the Indiana Jones weekend - May 23 - we will go out and destroy Indiana Jones in the Box Office! We all know that Harrison Ford is older as my grandpa and his time is up - would Michael Moore say!
(Michael Moore has not been reached for comment.)
As evidence to back up his claim that he can take down Spielberg in this mano a mano cinematic combat, Boll trumpets the magnum force of his superior directing and acting skills:
Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with War of the Worlds (why the fuck the older brother survived?) and also in parts of Jaws, E.T., Munich etc.! My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!
And what are the chances that Boll will be victorious on Memorial Day weekend? Absolutely none. Postal, which opens with a parody of United 93, is the story of a man named Dude (who shares a trailer with a wife named Bitch in the city of Paradise) who goes on a violent rampage with a cult leader and then does battle with the Taliban during an amusement-park heist. Though everything about Postal seems awesome, we're guessing the American public will once again fail to embrace the genius of Boll, and this might make even less money than In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.
As for Boll's simmering feud with Steven Spielberg? Alas, we're willing to bet that Spielberg will chicken out and refuse to even respond to Boll's taunts, as he subscribes to such outmoded virtues as "dignity" and "self-respect." Sigh. —Tammy Oler
Uwe Boll Sets 'Postal' to Release Against Indiana Jones [Bloody Disgusting]

Not a fashion designerPhoto: Getty Images
It seems the rumor was, well, nothing more than that:It had previously been touted in fashion circles that the supermodel was set to launch a line of clothing and footwear, dubbed Bundchen by Dolce & Gabbana, this spring, with a blow-out party already being planned to celebrate its arrival.
Guess which fashion circles were doing all that touting? On December 20, 2007, British Vogue said the line would be called "Bündchen by Dolce & Gabbana" and launch "next spring." It even noted Dolce and Gabbana themselves "encouraged [Bündchen] to get in on the act with them."
Then on February 25 British Vogue reported a "star-studded party" was in the works to celebrate the launch of the collection, and it would be followed by parties in New York, London, Dublin, Paris, Barcelona, and São Paulo. The magazine even projected sales figures for the line of $200 million in its first year. That's a lot of parties that won't be happening and money that won't be made.
Where on the World Wide Web could all this have started? Many Websites, like British Glamour, British Marie Claire, FabSugar, and Catwalk Queen picked up on the story on December 20, at the same time that British Vogue did. However, on December 19, a "celebrity tabloid" called the Pop Crunch Show reported Bündchen would produce "a 'chic and feminine' springwear line, called 'Bündchen by Dolce & Gabbana,'" which would hit stores in 2008. If British Vogue found the story on Pop Crunch to begin with, where did it get all that other bogus information?
NO DESIGN DREAM FOR GISELE [British Vogue]
Earlier: Gisele's Party [British Vogue]
GISELE'S DESIGNS ON D&G [British Vogue]

From left, Alexander McQueen; Givenchy.Photos: Getty Images and Imaxtree.

John Galliano; Chanel.Photos: Imaxtree

John Galliano; Jean Paul Gaultier.Photos: Imaxtree

Lanvin; Givenchy.Photos: Imaxtree

Valentino; Stella McCartneyPhoto: Imaxtree

Yves Saint Laurent; Rick OwensPhoto: Imaxtree

Not hosting The ViewPhoto: Getty Images
• Only 20 to 30 percent of runway looks are sold in stores. Christina Binkley visits Nina Ricci with one buyer, who refuses to stock blouses that cost more than $1,500. [WSJ]
• Jeremy Piven, who is dating model Lillian Grant, tries to pick up other models at nightclubs, according to "Page Six." He kills two birds with one stone by sending them the same text messages. [NYP]
• Subversive jewelry designer Justin Giunta will present a "couture collection" with a chorus line of synchronized dancers tomorrow. On March 23 his collection for Target hits stores. [NYT]
• A very helpful and supposedly straight man is a salesperson at the new Gucci store. He flirts with his clients, too. [NYT]
• Yesterday we heard Avril Lavigne is creating a brand of clothes and accessories for Kohl's called Abbey Dawn. Today we learn many of the line's pieces were taken straight from Lavigne's closet and Lavigne is wearing the line on her current tour. [WWD]
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