HBO has the entire first episode free on YouTube.
1. Spend an assload of money. Only don't make it look highly produced. 2. Screw your critics. 3. Throw boobs in. 4. Target 10 million views. 5. Find a washed-up television personality. 6. Make it a rap. The kids love raps. 7. Do something really safe. 8. Steal an idea that works. 9. If you've ever shot a video, you know viral video. 10. Fake some positive comments.
It wasn't til the last items that I had any idea he was being sarcastic. I mean, this viral ad for Ray-Bans got three million views using most of the techniques above.
Nalts's "Farting in Public" got 4.5 million views (a bit more than "There Will Be Blood"):
The Los Angeles police department is chock-full of inquiring minds. And inquiring minds apparently want to know whether or not Britney Spears was drugged.
While no official investigation has...
• Aside from the ubiquitous fox fur, Jean Paul Gaultier showed a lot of zebra and hand-carved goatskin.
• The outfits in Karl Lagerfeld's collection look like something he would wear. At least we can assume he's pleased with himself.
• Emanuel Ungaro was asymmetrical, wearable, and pretty with a splash of pink.
• Veronique Branquinho subtly invites metallics back in her largely office-appropriate collection.
• Isabel Marant showed perfect slouchy boots (which we happen to want right now) and a shock of bright-red plaids.
• Marithé+François Girbaud melded sporty parachute styles with business-casual looks, tailored jackets, and trousers.
• Lutz luuuuurves kimono sleeves.
• Viktor & Rolf emblazoned their pieces and models' faces with lots of unsubtle messages: "no," "dream," and "wow."
Roger Clemens shows up to help the Astros' minor-league team in Florida, for whom his son Koby plays, during spring training this week.Photo: Getty Images
"Now we are done with the circus of public opinion, and we are moving to the courtroom," Clemens' lead lawyer, Rusty Hardin, said in a telephone interview with the Associated Press. "Thankfully, we are now about to enter an arena where there are rules and people can be held properly accountable for outrageous statements."
You can just hear the crack coming through between the words, as Hardin imagines himself hitting a PR homerun. No matter how good he is with words, it's not going to fix all the damage Roger has done to himself by being bad with them.
Congress Asks DOJ to Investigate Clemens [AP]
Earlier: As Clemens's Story Weakens, Congress Drafts Perjury Letter
Amy Winehouse isn't quite ready to face the music.
A hearing stemming from Winehouse's arrest for drug possession in Norway back in October has been postponed at her lawyer's request,...
Courtesy of Fox
No One Watches Quarterlife: Marshall Herskovitz and Ed Zwick's blog drama, Quarterlife, which was purchased by a strike-panicked NBC in November, debuted to low ratings on Sunday night, when the show's target demographic was likely updating their own blogs or reading other ones. [Variety]
Writers' Strike Really, Really Over Now: Members of the Writers Guild of America have officially ratified their three-year contract with studios, meaning NBC can probably shelve those remaining episodes of Quarterlife until the next writers' strike, currently scheduled for 2011. [Variety]
Hollywood Braces for Next Strike: California-based insurance company Fireman's Fund is offering studios a policy that would cover financial losses incurred during the impending Screen Actors Guild strike. [Variety]
Andrew W.K. Speaks (and Speaks, and Speaks, and Speaks): Britain's The Wire magazine spoke with Andrew W.K. this month, and they've published the nine-page unedited transcript on their Website. Hooray! [The Wire via Idolator]
First, Fonzie. Now, Peg Bundy.
Jurors in the John Ritter wrongful death trial Tuesday saw actress Katey Sagal choke up on the stand as she fondly recalled her late costar.
"I...
If you want a piece of Diddy's bling, you're gonna have to win.
That's the message a Los Angeles judge is sending to a man who's suing Sean Combs after temporarily rejecting...
"Collateral damage in a tuna hunt."Photo: imaxtree
Robin Givhan on the concept of edginess for the Washington Post:
The term once implied that a designer was balanced at the rim of an abyss — an aesthetic one — and was prepared to make a leap. At minimum, edgy designers intended to shock the audience and make people rethink their assumptions. Edginess was about fraying the status quo.But like a lot of designations in fashion — "luxury" being the prime example — it has turned hollow.
Nicole Phelps on Veronique Branquinho for Style.com:
Jersey shifts color-blocked in heather gray and black, and lace frocks in copper or emerald green rounded out an understated collection. Branquinho didn't add much to this season's fashion conversation, but the smart, self-possessed girls who number among her fans will find things to like.
Cathy Horyn on Rick Owens for the New York Times:
If you were to mentally trace the silhouette made by a jacket’s extra volumes — the cubes, the wings of fabrics — you would roughly have the outline of the contemporary person in the street, with her layers.
Suzy Menkes on Balenciaga for the International Herald Tribune:
In many ways the collection was calmer and more classic, although the latex added a sexual element. That came too when top and bottom halves of an outfit were divided with a gauzy insert, as though flesh were allowed to breathe through the carapace. The hand-painted latex of the finale, recalling both Ghesquière's early scuba prints and noble warrior paintings, were a tour de force of the imagination in this stellar show.
Hilary Alexander on Junya Watanabe for the Telegraph:
The models’ faces were hidden behind black ‘stockings’ which stretched upwards and over what looked like a series of tennis-balls or clay pitchers, forming extraordinary growths on top of their heads.Perhaps the models’ faces were hidden in order we might not be distracted and, thus, focus more on the clothes.
Perhaps not. It certainly wasn’t, as I had wondered, inspired by ancient peasant-women carrying urns or baskets of fruit on their heads.
Watanabe seemed disconcerted by my suggestion. But then, he didn’t really know why either. It seemed the right thing, was the best explanation I could get.
So what if she enjoys the foxy lettuce sometimes?
Cindy is our girl.Photo: Getty Images
Okay, lady? If you want to go out there and say, "No, Nicole hasn't had a boob job and she doesn't dye her hair and she eats perfectly healthily and she did not get paid a ton of money to enter into a marital contract with Tom Cruise," then that's your business. You're the one that's going to have to justify yourself to the Lord on Judgment Day. Or whatever. But anyone who smack-talks our Cindy has to reckon with us! And we are … fierce.
Nicole Not Boozing It Up At Oscars Says Rep [Perez Hilton]
Related: Cindy Adams Knows About Foxy Lettuce
Photo: Getty Images
1. The B-52's, "Hot Corner"
When Fred Schneider hollers "Hey y'all, last call! Last chance to dance!" he's probably talking to his own aging bandmates. But if you didn't know any better, you'd never guess that this was recorded almost two decades after "Love Shack." [Rock Daily]
2. The Dino 5, "The Dino 5 Theme Song"
A supergroup of cuddly rappers (Chali 2na, Ladybug, Prince Paul, etc.) give voice to cartoon dinosaurs to teach your kids about hip-hop. You can finally retire that awful Kidz Bop version of "Float On" your toddler has been forcing you to listen to. [So Much Silence]
3. Plants and Animals, "Bye Bye Bye"
These freaky neo-hippies sound like the unholy spawn of Arcade Fire and Animal Collective and, thankfully, nothing like N'Sync. [MP3 This]
4. The National, "Around the Bend"
The National, who have always sounded like something Pride and Prejudice's Mr. Darcy would've had on his iPod, sounded even more baroque playing this new song at BAM this past weekend with a full chamber ensemble. [Pop Cop]
5. Yo La Tengo, "Bobby's Girl"
YLT do a not-bad cover of the Lesley Gore track for Eugene Mirman's "Invite Them Up" series at Rififi. [Jess Jarnow]
—Ehren Gresehover
Mariah Carey's latest video has hit YouTube, and we have to say, we love it. We're not always fans of her efforts, as they generally involve too many jean shorts and Jet Skis for our tastes. But a video co-starring Jack McBrayer, a.k.a. Kenneth the Intern from 30 Rock? That's genius! Especially since it involves laser tag. And a unicorn. Click above to view. Seriously, did Mariah finally get some gay friends?
Botty and the Geek [Dlisted]
Photo: AFP/Getty Images
New York's classical critic Justin Davidson, on this week's historic North Korean concert and its aftermath:
Here’s a sentence we never thought we’d write: Eric Clapton will follow the trail to Pyongyang blazed by the New York Philharmonic. So pleased were Kim Jong-Il’s apparatchiks with the experience of importing a Western cultural brand name that no sooner had they stopped applauding the Philharmonic than they extended an invitation to Slowhand. Dvorák made the Axis of Evil safe for “Cocaine.” Or maybe the regime just confused classical music with classic rock.
The Clapton engagement would be the best possible outcome of the Philharmonic’s visit: To a giddy optimist it might suggest that a Western wind is starting to blow beneath the country’s closed doors. Many have invoked the Philharmonic’s visit to the Soviet Union in 1956, an event that precipitated the fall of Communism as efficiently as the U.S. embargo of Cuba destroyed Fidel Castro. Others might also think of Tom Stoppard’s musico-political play Rock ‘n’ Roll, which ends with the Rolling Stones playing Prague a mere 22 years after the Plastic People of the Universe rocked the Czech regime. The New York Philharmonic music director Lorin Maazel wrote in The Wall Street Journal that the Pyongyang concert was a step on the road to reconciliation. Maybe he’s right — perhaps if, a generation from now, North Korea has refrained from obliterating civilization with nuclear missiles, some credit will go to Maazel and the Philharmonic.
The orchestra also deserves praise for insisting that the concert be broadcast live on television and radio, so as to reach beyond the veil of propaganda. And yet at this distance — or from the isolation of the press junket that accompanied the orchestra — it’s hard to know what effect the broadcast had on a country that is barely electrified. A Times photographer in search of the real North Korea pointed a camera out the bus window and took a picture of a woman collecting firewood near the airport. Was she primed to have her world rocked by Dvorák? Who knows? Music can change lives, but only if they’re ready to be changed.
We suspect that the most subversive sounds to be beamed from the hall into that gray country were the jaunty, buoyant rhythms of "American in Paris," because they brim with a resource that seems scarce in North Korea: joy. To citizens of that cloistered country it must have seemed profoundly, thrillingly weird to hear a government-imported form of entertainment buzzing with such insouciant tunes and urbane energy. Gershwin makes Western imperialism sound like a lot of fun. Which suggests that maybe turning to Clapton, with his ravaged voice and weary passions, was actually a pretty safe choice to follow the Philharmonic. Now if Shakira brought her truth-telling hips to Pyongyang, that might really bring the people out into the streets. —Justin Davidson
Vulture has a special affinity for charts, but we weren’t the first. Jessica Hagy, a Freakonomics guest blogger, has been posting index cards of (non-math) graphs and diagrams on Indexed since August 2006, and now — in keeping with a totally legitimate trend — she’s brought this online work to print. Example: a Venn diagram where the intersection of “big jewelry,” “fur coat,” and “cane” is “rich old woman or pimp.” So true.
Whoopi Goldberg would like to thank the Academy...for finally apologizing for her Oscar-night slight.
Three days after being left out of a montage highlighting past host--despite being not...
Courtesy of SK-II
Every little step Bobby Brown takes these days has bagged him jail time. Except for this.
The erstwhile King of New Jack Swing accepted an offer from authorities in Brockton, Massachusetts,...
Photo Illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images, iStockphoto (piles of money)
Today Bill Carter reports in the Times that networks and TV studios are already lining up to snatch Jay Leno away when his Tonight Show contract concludes at the end of 2009. Leno, who has been slated to be replaced by Conan O'Brien at that time, can contractually begin to negotiate in November 2009; nevertheless, plenty of money and perks are already on the table, including a reported $40 million a year from Sony — who also plan to build Leno his own theater on the studio's lot. (For Jay Leno!!) Given that the competition in 2009 should be fast and furious — Leno is free to return to TV just two months after the negotiation period begins — how exorbitant might the offers get? Vulture looks into its crystal ball to find out.
November 1, 2009 ABC pledges to kick Nightline off the air to make room for Jay Leno, offering him $50 million a year.
November 5, 2009 Sony raises its offer to $60 million a year, plus a gold-plated motorcycle.
November 8, 2009 ABC counters with a promise to explain to Leno the secrets of Lost.
November 11, 2009 When Leno expresses dissatisfaction with Sony Television's plans for the Jay Leno Theater, executives offer to let him design it himself. The resulting structure is a pale imitation of plans designed first by other, edgier architects.
November 13, 2009 Desperate ABC executives raise their offer to $75 million and promise that Kevin Eubanks will replace Charles Gibson as anchor of World News Tonight.
November 21, 2009 Getting in on the action, Fox renegotiates its affiliate deals to become a round-the-clock network in hopes of attracting Leno, who is offered not just the 11:30 to 12:30 slot but the entire overnight shift, from 11:30 to dawn.
November 30, 2009 Sony Television annexes the picturesque Sea of Japan island of Niijima and renames it LenoLand, replacing its distinctive local statuary with busts of Jay Leno.
December 5, 2009 NBC wunderkind Ben Silverman, driven mad at being left out of the fun, offers Leno $100 million a year to continue as host of the Tonight Show. "That doesn't mean we're giving up on Conan," Silverman tells reporters. "We'll run Jay's and Conan's shows simultaneously, in split-screen."
December 7, 2009 Fox's Kevin Reilly hints to Leno that he can't make any promises, but he's "pretty sure" he can get Leno into the Hollywood Round of American Idol.
December 13, 2009 Holding unprecedented power over every network, Leno demands that the Tonight Show run on all of them at once. All four network chiefs accept, and further agree to run Sony Television's syndicated The Jay Leno Show the other 23 hours of every day.
Suitors Are Set to Say to Leno, Long Live King [NYT]
Related: A Comprehensive List of the Ways Jay Leno's First Post-Writers'-Strike Monologue Differed From His Last Writerless Monologue [NYM]
Why the Writer's Strike Couldn't Bring Down Jay Leno [NYM]
Check out the lines in this art.Photo: Courtesy of Colette
Bushwick: This Shwick blogger thinks the "Bushwick Initiative is just the City putting a sad little band-aid on the giant ax wound it created in New York’s housing situation." But these rehabbed buildings do look nicer… [BushwickBK]
Hoboken: Duders, the St. Patrick's Day parade is this Saturday! That's early, even for Hoboken! [East Village Idiot]
New Springville: Staten Island cops are searching for a man who snatched a woman from a bus stop here and sexually assaulted her last night. He was 18–20 years old and 5'5", so keep your eyes peeled. [NY1]
Park Slope: The athletic center at the armory here is open for business. It has a totally awesome composite rubber track, just so you can relive your high-school track traumas. [Brownstoner]
Soho: Now the Soho Alliance is trying to use the private closet spaces for rent in the new Trump Soho as another way to disqualify its permits. People, it's up already. It already ruined the neighborhood! [Curbed]
Staten Island: A teacher at Port Richmond High School is accused of submitting fake receipts in an effort to steal $2,000 from the school. She even took money from the school's robotics team! Now that's just wrong! [Staten Island Advance]
There are no words. Actually, yes there are. We just don't understand why.Photo: Imaxtree
Thankfully, the lovely lads explained it: "We love fashion, but it's going so fast. We wanted to say 'No' this season." Well obviously it all makes sense now! Here we thought it was a commentary on the misogyny and sexism that women face every day and an in-your-face approach to violence. You know, "no means no"? Or maybe it's a self-empowerment thing, like every time that construction guy hollers at you, you can just point at your Dream On coat and just keep on walking? Or after you break up with your boyfriend, you can wear your big fur Wow look and rock on with your bad self. No? It's all about fashion and speed and time? You sure? Oh, okay. —Amina Akhtar
Related: Watch a slideshow of the Viktor & Rolf fall 2008 collection.
Florian Süssmayr’s Hofbräuzelt Munchen (2007). Image courtesy of the artist and Nicholas Robinson Gallery, New York.
The Spice Girls' shelf life has finally expired.
What started out as plans for an 11-date comeback tour and inevitably morphed into an all-out, months-long globe-trotting phenomenon, concluded...
It's been a hard day's night for "American Idol," but the show finally has a ticket to ride.
The music publishing giant that controls the Beatles' John Lennon-Paul McCartney...
Photo: The Fashion Spot
Photo Illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: Getty Images
The Latino Vote Could Split
What’s left of the Democratic machine in Texas is now concentrated in the heavily Mexican-American Rio Grande Valley, and Clinton has made the border a second home as she tries to amp up her support among Latinos. But guess what: There are many different Latino communities in Texas. Mexican-Americans along the border have benefited from NAFTA and are indeed showing strong loyalty to Clinton. But urban Latinos — there are now more Hispanics in the city of Houston than in the entire Rio Grande Valley — are younger and more susceptible to Obama’s appeal. Voting patterns in other states have also shown that Latinos who have been in the U.S. for multiple generations were more influenced by favorable coverage of Obama in English-language media and Ted Kennedy’s endorsement. It’s the newer immigrants who were more likely to support Clinton. Odds are that overall, Latinos will divide as they did in New Mexico, where they broke about 61-36 percent for Clinton, instead of giving her the monolithic support she is seeking.
Blacks and Students Will Generate More Delegates Than Latinos
Obama is harvesting from richer fields than Clinton, and he has the state party to thank. Next Tuesday’s primary will allocate 126 delegates, but not according to the candidates’ statewide support. Instead, they will be awarded in each of Texas’ 31 State Senate districts. (Complicating things further, not all of those districts will award the same number of delegates: Some have as few as three, while others have as many as eight, depending on the number of Democratic votes the district cast for president in 2004 and governor in 2006.)
The idea behind this breakdown is to reward heavily Democratic areas with more delegates — which isn’t, by the way, crazy. But it has produced extra representation for areas with many black voters or ultraliberals, two groups who have turned out reliably for Democratic candidates in recent years. And it has yielded fewer delegates for districts dominated by Latinos, who split among four candidates in a wild gubernatorial race in 2006, and a chunk of whom favored George W. Bush over John Kerry in 2004.
So Senate District 13 in Houston and District 23 in Dallas, which are represented by the only African-Americans in the Texas Senate, plus District 14, which includes the University of Texas at Austin, will award a combined 21 delegates next week. In contrast, the six districts who have Latino senators have a total of just 22 delegates.
Republican Gerrymandering Will Help Obama
In the early nineties, Texas went through an insane redistricting at the state level. Local Republicans re-mapped as many African-Americans as they could into a few districts, while scattering other minorities and Democrats as widely as possible. Democratic governor Ann Richards said, “They have carved up this state like a non-union meat-cutter working on a one-legged turkey,” but the plan succeeded. The GOP took control of the Texas State Senate for the first time in more than 120 years, and the redistricting inspired Tom DeLay to try something similar at the federal level.
Today, this means Obama is likely to carry heavily black districts by huge margins, winning nearly all their delegates. But he’ll still pick up chunks of delegates in other districts, thanks to proportional representation.
This is particularly true in Clinton-supporting districts that award an even number of delegates. For example, fifteen districts will award four delegates apiece. In these locales, one candidate must exceed 62.5 percent of the vote to grab three of the four delegates. If Obama loses a four-delegate district but gets anywhere from 37.5 to 50 percent of the vote, he will achieve a 2-2 split in delegates.
Texans Who Really Care Get to … Vote Twice?
Beyond the 126 delegates selected by primary voting, caucuses will award another 67 delegates. And these so-called "precinct conventions" — in which registered Democrats gather, as in a town-hall meeting, to discuss the candidates and then cast their votes — will take place after the primary polls close, at 7:15 p.m. Texas time. So Texas Dems can just wait around for everyone to finish voting in the primary or return to their polling place in the evening and … vote again. Here as elsewhere, the advantage goes to Obama, whose committed supporters and organizing skills have racked up huge margins for him in other caucus states.
Bottom Line: Clinton Could Win the Battle and Lose the War
Add up delegates district by district, and it’s quite possible Hillary could win the popular vote by 3.5 or even 8 points in Texas yet still trail Obama in delegates. Unbelievably enough, her campaign didn’t realize the dangers in the Texas system until this month, and their Texas ground game has been weak.
Clinton’s signature moment in Texas came right at the beginning of her campaign there, when she strode into a concertlike rally in El Paso on the night of February 12, greeting some 12,000 delirious supporters. It was a great appearance, but El Paso’s Senate District 29 will award only three delegates next week. Hillary is very likely to win two of them and almost certain not to win all three. So however strong her support is in the area, Clinton’s net gain out of El Paso will probably be a single delegate.
Instead of Texas, perhaps the Clintons should have looked to another March 4 contest for bulwark support, to a state with an older population and a thoroughly machine-dominated Democratic state party. Hillary’s true firewall: Rhode Island. —Peter Keating
For a complete guide to presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain — from First Love to Most Embarrassing Gaffe — read the 2008 Electopedia.
Tagline: "Here they come!"
Translation: Straight to DVD!
The Verdict: Producers of 1997's Starship Troopers wisely blew their $105 million budget on cool-looking visual effects, and probably spent more on catering than on the film's D-grade cast. A cult classic was born and the world was introduced to Casper Van Dien, best described as a poor man's non-Swedish Dolph Lundgren. Apparently in 2004 there was a $7 million straight-to-video Starship Troopers 2 (we just found out about it on Wikipedia), which eschewed the expensive CGI of the original (though it still didn't look awful), along with the Van Dien's probably-still-small salary demands. But now, for Starship Troopers 3: Marauder, he's back! And to pay for him, filmmakers have apparently rendered the film's special effects using the trial version of iMovie. Even so, we sort of want to see this.
Photo Illustration: Everett Bogue; Photo: WireImage
They say everyone has a book in them, and so it comes as no surprise that the Olsen twins have finally decided to put quill to paper and distill the full breadth of their life experience. Influence, which will be edited by 'mocialite Derek Blasberg and published by Penguin's young-adult-oriented Razorbill imprint in the fall, will take a look at the artists and fashion designers who, according to People, have "inspired the savvy fashionistas over the past decade" — you know, since they were 11 — as well as a compendium of "exclusive" photographs of Ashley and Mary-Kate, along with other materials and interviews from the twins' "personal collections." We're kind of expecting it will be something like Susan Sontag's Against Interpretation meets Paris Hilton's Confessions of an Heiress. We can't wait for book club!
Olsen Twins Becoming Authors [People]
Related: Ashley Olsen Speaks and She's a Savvy Fashion Designer [Cut]
On the left, fox; on the right, crocodile.Photo: Getty Images, imaxtree
Not sanitized mink and fox coats … visceral fur: a fox coat with two fox heads swinging back and forth on the model’s back — noses, eyes, teeth and all. A crocodile coat with the big lizard’s skinned tail trailing down to the floor. Animal heads, legs, tails and feet and claws rode the models’ heads or swung from their shoulders all the way down the runway.
It's hard to imagine the fashion industry without fur, but this just sounds over the top. Hilary Alexander notes Gaultier even had wolves howling on the soundtrack. How tasteful.
Gaultier Gives Paris Visceral Fur [Heard on the Runway/WSJ]
Paris Fashion Week: Jean Paul Gaultier [Telegraph]
Click here to watch a slideshow of the Jean Paul Gaultier collection.
The charts are officially Jacked!
For the second straight week, Jack Johnson and Michael Jackson have the country's bestselling albums and held down the top spots on their respective charts....
Photo Illustration: Everett Bogue; Photos: nytimes.com, Courtesy of ABC
Today's Times analysis of the Jimmy Kimmel–Sarah Silverman video war — which started with Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" and continues with Kimmel's "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" — is a new entry in the proud tradition of journalistic write-arounds. Usually you write a write-around because you can't get access to your subject. But this time Edward Wyatt's write-around is necessitated by the fact that, well, he can't name the titles of the videos in question, nor can he really describe that much of their content: "A satiric video in which Mr. Kimmel, the host of the ABC late-night talk show Jimmy Kimmel Live, talks enthusiastically — jokingly, we are led to believe — about his sexual relationship with Ben Affleck, has been a huge hit online," Wyatt writes. The entire article is a masterpiece of tortured syntax that deftly removes all humor from the videos.
Our favorite part is how he delicately introduces the notion of the F-bomb:
One vulgar word describing the coital relations between, on the one bed, Ms. Silverman and Mr. Damon, and on the other, Mr. Kimmel and Mr. Affleck, was repeatedly bleeped out for the broadcast of each video.
"Several scenes from the videos," he adds, "also required pixelation." We like to imagine the wilting daisies among the Times' readership — which probably contains 80 percent of the people in America who haven't watched the videos yet — clutching their hearts in horror.
Late-Night TV Satires Become Online Hits [NYT]
Earlier: Enough With the Hilarious Celebrity-Fucking
Photo: Patrick McMullan
I don't know where this is goin'
But KRS-One is right now freestyle flowin'
Me, I'm not into votin'
All that wishin', beggin, and hopin'
Naaaawwww
Me, I get open
Let me tell you Obama's not a token
I think this brother comes from Dr. King
And everything Dr. King sings
Even Malcolm X
You want change? A black man is coming up next
Oh man, Obama
You gotta
Find out what's happenin'
Without putting a comma
On the truth
Listen to hip-hop's youth
—Shira Levine
Ew.Photo: ebay.com
A very sad update: Um, they're going for $10.50 now. What is wrong with you people? You're ill. All of you.
super special CORY kennedy pre-owned party SoCKs L@@K!! [eBay]
Related: Artifact: Keeping Busy [NYM]
Photo: Getty Images
"I'm starting a movie with Jack Black in two days. And then I have another movie coming out with Paul Rudd. So, I guess I'm completely different than the Vote for Pedro guy." —Christopher "McLovin'" Mintz-Plasse [E!]
"Anytime we get press, it's like people shit on MTV at the same time. They're like, 'Oh, this show's really funny! It's on this network full of garbage.'" —Human Giant's Aziz Ansari [Pop Candy/USAT]
"I have to start working out more, though. I'm reading a lot of scripts, and there may be a scene where I have to jump out the window of a burning building with my shirt off. I want to look right." —Diddy [Parade]
"They think I'm the Antichrist. They don't like us TV people to be part of it — it's ridiculous. It reeks of snobbery." —Simon Cowell, music and television personality, overstates why he wasn't invited to the Oscars, a movie ceremony [Mirror]
"I don't know how I won it. I've never been on a list like that, either positively or negatively before. God only knows, but it's probably because I punched this 8-year-old kid in the face at the airport one day, and he wanted an autograph." —Will Ferrell on why he was named the worst autographer by Autograph magazine [A.V. Club]
On the inside, Galloway (left) and Sulzberger are really quite alike. Photo: Patrick McMullan
N.Y. Times to Meet With Board Nominees [AP]
Courtesy of Maxim
Once again, the trenchant, highly respected music criticism of Maxim magazine is under attack after it's been revealed the lad rag has reviewed yet another album without having heard it. Last week, we learned the Black Crowes' upcoming Warpaint was given two and a half stars even though Maxim's critic had only heard one song. Today, we find out Nas's forthcoming Nigger has been awarded the same score, despite the album's not actually being finished. Honestly, though, are either of these albums likely to deserve better than two and a half stars? (In the case of the Black Crowes, Maxim's probably being a little generous.) Is it even necessary to have heard or seen things to critique them? We don't think so! To prove it, we tried a few "educated guess" reviews ourselves.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Owing to a lack of close-ups and, possibly, CGI, Harrison Ford looks nowhere near as old as he is. Weaknesses in the screenplay and Shia LaBeouf's performance are overcome by repeated appearances of John Williams's "Indiana Jones Theme." Light years better than the Star Wars prequels. (Three stars)
Madonna, Hard Candy
Despite impressive efforts from Pharrell and Timbaland, Madonna still sounds way too old to be dancing at clubs. Even so, we expect the album's excellent lead single (which is about dancing at a club) to be inescapable for months, followed by dampened enthusiasm for all subsequent crappy ones (also about dancing at clubs). (Three stars)
U2's upcoming album (title TBA)
Not as good as Achtung Baby but considerably more accessible than Pop, U2's twelfth studio album is both a bitter disappointment and a powerful reminder of everything we loved about the band in the first place. As usual, the Edge's guitar playing is incendiary, but ultimately there are just too many songs about Africa. (Three stars)
The Coen brothers' film adaptation of Michael Chabon's The Yiddish Policemen's Union (Note: We haven't read the book either)
With baffling ending and hilarious haircuts and mustaches intact, the Coens' quirky, stylized Yiddish Policemen's Union succeeds at bringing the Yiddishness and policemen of Chabon's original novel to the screen. George Clooney is terrific. (Three stars)
The Justice League movie
Much has been made about Justice League's crappy cast, and after seeing the film, we're not yet convinced of Armie Hammer's star potential. Still, the money saved on acting salaries has been spent well on the movie's special effects, which are as visually astonishing as Adam Brody is uncharismatic. (Three stars)
Keanu Reeves's remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still
Terrible. (Three stars)
Jumping the Gun [NYP]
MEDIA
• Katie Couric's YouTube channel provides real service journalism: While chitchatting with Joe Biden, the CBS anchor recommends viewers tune into her favorite viral video — the one where a little girl watches her goldfish get flushed down the toilet. [HuffPo]
• The New York Times op-ed columnists can't endorse political candidates. This "isn't a problem" for Maureen Dowd because she doesn't "do a partisan column." [NYO]
• Vegas, take note: Big Apple broadsheets are front-runners in the race for the Pulitzers. [E&P]
FINANCE
• The boxing match between MBIA chairman Jay Brown and Pershing Square investor William Ackman continues. Brown hit his nemesis with a one-two punch yesterday in a letter to investors, saying Ackman "will stop at nothing to increase his already enormous personal profits as he systematically tries to destroy our franchise and our industry." [Deal Journal/WSJ]
• "As of right now, U.S. economic growth is at zero," says Alan Greenspan, former Federal Reserve chairman. [Telegraph]
• As if that isn't bad enough, the dollar hits a new low against the euro. [CNN]
• Things could get ugly at the UBS shareholders meeting today. [DealBook/Bloomberg]
LEGAL
• Disbarred personal-injury lawyer Keith Rubinstein is living large. [Above the Law]
• The city has agreed to pay more than $20 million to settle a lawsuit claiming that the Department of Parks and Recreation racially discriminated against employees. [NYT]
• Aaron Charney, the Sullivan & Cromwell underling whose successfully sued the firm for homophobia after a partner threw papers on the floor and said, “Bend over and pick it up — I’m sure you like that," among other things, apparently used some of the spoils to buy a $1.5 million condo. [NYO]
From left, Chanel Iman, Masha Tylena, and Omahyra Mota.Photo: Imaxtree
| SHOW | OPENER | CLOSER |
|---|---|---|
| A.F. Vandevorst | Masha Tyelna | Flo Gennaro |
| Balmain | Anna Selezneva | Natasha Poly |
| Bruno Pieters | Iekeliene Stange | Malin Ones |
| Gaspard Yurkievich | Angelika Kocheva | Alyona Osmanova |
| Rick Owens | Masha Tyelna | Guinevere van Seenus |
| Christian Dior | Masha Tyelna | Viviane Orth |
| Maison Martin Margiela | Danijela Dimitrovska | Alexandra Agoston |
| Undercover | Georgina Stojilkovic | Bruna Tenorio |
| Vivienne Westwood | Monique Olsen | Unknown |
| Jeremy Scott | Vlada Roslyakova | Vlada Roslyakova |
| Isabel Marant | Natasha Poly | Maryna Linchuk |
| Yohji Yamamoto | Unknown | Unknown |
Bags upon bags of handbags upon handbagsPhoto: Everett Bogue
Earlier: No More Fake Louis! The City Shutters 32 Canal Street Counterfeiters
Photo: Hulton Archive/Getty Images
William F. Buckley, Jr. Dead at 82 [AP]
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