No one has said my lips are like rose blossoms or my throat is as smooth as alabaster.
Men don't have time for that anymore. We live in the age of transparency. Say what you mean and mean what you say. As in:
"You are a very pretty lady."
"I think you are very attractive."
"You look very pretty."
I've been approached by more than six hundred men, and that's one of the big themes I've discovered in their method: Cut to the chase.
The directness has its charms, but like everything else about being a beautiful woman, it has its dark side as well. One suitor tried to seduce me with this line: "I would like to stalk you." Another said, "I am in a committed relationship but am looking for a girl on the side." Honest? Sure. To the point? Yes. Creepy? As hell.
When men aren't being creepy, they are being a little needy:
I was actually prepared for the scammers and the swagger. What I didn't expect was many men's tragic vulnerability when faced with a dazzling woman. One guy frets that his eyes look weird in his photos because he tried to blacken out the red eye from the camera. He just wants Michelle to know they aren't that weird in real life.
A martial-arts enthusiast admits flat out that he's not worthy of Michelle but wants to let her know that "you are gorgeous."
A forty-one-year-old classical musician writes, "Not being striking in the looks department, I am someone who needs a chance to show his intellect and soul. And I realize how hard that will be when the first impression is made by pictures and written words, but I most sincerely hope you will give me the benefit of the doubt." You want to take these guys out for a milk shake. Or sign them up for Tony Robbins. Michelle and I send them encouraging notes: "You are a bit out of my age range, so I don't think it will work out. But I think you're a nice-looking gentleman."
Still, it's rejection, and a lot of men take it hard. "Never will we share a malbec overlooking the Rio at CÛrdoba in Argentina," writes one Harley-riding architect. "Never will we stand together in Amsterdam looking at Vermeer's Woman Pouring Milk. Never will I hold your hand. Never will I look into your eyes. Never will you look into mine."
...
Men will do anything for you... It's a side of men that other men just don't get to see.
Jacobs' real coup isnt so much anything in the article as the act of writing it: He's in virtual drag, flirting with men, setting up dates and actually pumping his fist in the air when one favored suitor -- "my discovery.. my stand-in" -- does well with his nanny on a real-life date, and yet still he calls other men creepy and surprisingly emotionally honest. Well played.
[Esquire]
It’s hard enough, as the above makes clear, to spin a 17-point loss, especially in a state that, judging by all salient metrics, should have been the site of a close-run contest. Wisconsin, after all, is a place where the Democratic electorate is dominated by working-class whites, one of the three pillars of the Clinton coalition (the others being women and Hispanics). But Obama beat Hillary among whites, 54-45. Although she squeaked by among white women, 57-42, he tied with her overall among female voters. He beat her among every age cohort except for those 65 and older, and among all whites except those over 60. He beat her among regular and irregular churchgoers, and among those who never set foot inside a house of worship. He beat her among voters at every level of education, in every region of the state. He beat her among urbanites, suburbanites, and country bumpkins. He beat her among the working class (including union members), the middle class, and the rich. He beat her among marrieds and unmarrieds (though Clinton tied him among unmarried women); among Democrats, Independents, and Republicans; among liberals, moderates, and conservatives. All of which raises a pressing question: What Clinton coalition?
A trouncing of this scope and scale has a number of implications. The first is that Hillary is in big trouble in Ohio, where internal Obama polling put him within seven points, even before last night. The second is that she has also has significant problems in Texas, where the most recent public polls put Clinton and Obama in a statistical dead heat. The Clintonites believe that Hispanics will save her in the Lone Star State, but the weird-ass system in place there — part primary, part caucus — will work to her disadvantage. Just as her husband’s association with NAFTA will hurt in the Buckeye State. And unless Hillary wins both of them, it’s sayonara to the nomination.
The second set of implications revolve around money. On a conference call Tuesday, the Clinton folks reported that they have pulled in a million bucks a day on the Internet since Hillary’s $5 million loan to herself became public two weeks back. But to finance the rest of the race adequately, the campaign is counting on a series of fund-raising events scheduled over the next two weeks. Clinton's buck-rakers expected her to lose Wisconsin. But they believed that their side's efforts in the final days would close the gap to less than 17 points — and so I'd bet that, right now, the fear of God is in them over how those events will go.
The final array of implications involve the tenor of the campaign that Clinton will wage between now and the Ohio and Texas primaries on March 4. Over the past few days, her operation has begun to sharpen the “contrasts” between HRC and BHO. Rightly or wrongly, her people simply do not believe they can do much now to change her fundamental message on the positive side: that she’s readier than Obama to assume the presidency on Day One; that she’s a fighter for kids and families and for the beleaguered middle class; that she’s someone with a deep knowledge of public policy and that she can deliver. Instead, her people see their main chance as driving home a series of negative messages about Obama: the accusations of rhetorical plagiarism, of his inconsistency between talk and action, of his vacuousness and hypocrisy. One way of looking at Wisconsin, where these messages failed to move the needle much, is that they fell flat. Another way to see things is that the Clintonites started hammering too late and too soft.
Trust me when I tell you that the latter is the view in Clintonland. That they have more arrows in their quiver to fire at Obama, charges they believe will cast doubt on the hopemonger, raising the specter (terrifying to many Democrats) that John McCain and the Republican machine will make mincemeat of him. Trust me when I tell you that you ain't seen nothing yet. —John Heilemann
For a complete guide to presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama — from First Love to Most Embarrassing Gaffe — read the 2008 Electopedia.
At the start of the tape, we immediately recognize the sounds of Foreigner's 1985 hit, "I Want To Know What Love Is."
I gotta take a little time,
a little time to think things over
I better read between the lines,
in case I need it when I'm older
At this point, Elsa turns her head twice to look at something off screen, just past the bottom-left corner of the bed. The bouquet of roses Gene bought her? Some champagne? A cameraman shouting to get where the camera can see her tits, and fast?
Elsa moves her hands toward Gene's unbuttoned pants, then away, as she again looks toward something off screen. Gene, or his handler, wants to take this slowly, for Elsa to enjoy herself. So he lifts her by the legs, onto her back.Take solace from this crazy world, he seems to be saying.
Then, Gene licks his hand. Elsa is overcome.
Elsa says something, we don't know what. Gene has been touching her for either 20 seconds or a lifetime, and she is ready for that to stop.
Elsa is ready to touch him. Her hands reach out, and Gene pulls her head in closer.
Now this mountain I must climb,
feels like the world upon my shoulders
Through the clouds I see love shine,
it keeps me warm as life grows colder
Elsa is a paid energy drink enthusiast, and that is not hard to believe as she has her way with Simmons.
His hands, meanwhile, are fiddling with something. A cigarette? A second camera? Of course not: protection for his beloved.
Gene comes in closer, and Elsa seems to be saying something to him. They rearrange their bodies. More tender whispers.
Can't stop now, I've travelled so far,
to change this lonely life
I want to know what love is,
I want you to show me
I want to feel what love is,
I know you can show me
Gene and Elsa are one. He comes in for a sweet kiss. Elsa, perhaps being coquettish, turns away.
Gene comes in for another kiss. Elsa taunts him again, turning away.
Gene comes in for a kiss twice more, and twice more Elsa refuses.
Gene says something to Elsa. I like to think it's Auden:
"Easily, my dear, you move, easily your head/And easily as through the leaves of a photograph album I'm led...."
Or perhaps Gene reminds Elsa of the rider in her contract stipulating she will not get paid unless she delivers some snogging. And besides KISS is the name of the fragging band, innit?
After 40 seconds of coupling, a change: Elsa on top. We see Gene's tender bum as bodies shift.
The lovemaking becomes intense. Gene is mouthing passionate words, or maybe chewing gum? Seriously, is that gum? Classy. Th
ings are busy enough that Elsa must kick off her flip-flop sandals.
Gene stares intently at Elsa for a while, but soon becomes distracted. He is looking off, into the distance. Past the lower left corner of the bed, where Elsa looked before.
Is he imaging their future together, a home, a family? Or maybe there's some kind of monitor set up where he can see how he looks on camera?
The video abruptly ends. A minute and ten seconds of tender union have passed.
Gene and Elsa are forever enriched. Things will never be the same for either of them.
I'm gonna take a little time,
a little time to look around me
I've got nowhere left to hide,
it looks like love has finally found me
In contrast, this BBC segment on Raiders shows some footage from the homemade remake:
In short, Raiders: Adaptation sounds less exhaustingly twee than Rambow or Rewind, and maybe even more fun than the new actual Indiana Jones. I'm still downloading it, but this is apparently a working Bittorrent file of the remake. (While the movie's been screened in several cities, it's never been officially released or even authorized by Spielberg and Lucas.) If you feel bad about stealing it, remember that the whole movie technically is stealing!
If Toy Fair has a name, it must be Indiana Jones.
The toy industry's annual confab in New York City swung into action over the weekend, and based on the exhibits of Hasbro and Lego, "Indiana...
For A&E, one hit outweighed another.
The cable network confirmed Tuesday that production will resume on its number-one reality series, "Dog the Bounty Hunter," which was yanked...
Photo: Bert Stern
Certainly, many were awed: This Website spent much of yesterday groaning under the weight of sweaty fingers. People magazine called Bert Stern's photo shoot Lohan's "greatest role to date." Defamer predicted that "this tastefully titillating homage to Marilyn Monroe's 'Last Sitting' is poised to sit alongside Drew Barrymore's role in Poison Ivy in the pantheon of greatest breast-baring comebacks of all-time."
Others were more … bemused. Daniel Radosh commented that Marilyn looked more "not dead" than Lindsay. The New Yorker's Dana Goodyear seemed to indicate that she had somehow never before seen naked boobs on the Internet. Was Monica Corcoran in the L.A. Times offended when she said that Bert Stern "should be ashamed of himself for aping such a memorable photo shoot for a 21-year-old actress whose most notable credit is Herbie Fully Loaded"? Or was she merely confused? (Doesn't everyone think Lindsay's most notable credit is Mean Girls?)
Radar rounded up some PR people to comment that breasts, once bared, have a way of overshadowing one's acting. "For the last six weeks, she hasn't been in trouble, and then she does this," complained Ronn Torossian of 5WPR. "It's okay for her to not be in the news right now." (Subtext: Lindsay, call me.)
But in the end, the person whose opinion mattered most was cool with it. "It was very tastefully done," Dina Lohan told People today. "I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don't look at them like it's Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother."
Fox's doctors are back in the house.
"House," "Bones" and two of the network's sitcoms have resumed production and will close out the strike-afflicted season with new...
Martha Stewart is getting a little "Bam!" for her bucks.
The homemaking maven's empire, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, announced Tuesday that it has acquired the rights to the...
From left, Jil Sander, Just Cavalli, MissoniPhoto: imaxtree
• Just Cavalli shows flamingos (different!) and leopard (shocker!) on tights and dresses.
• Jil Sander's coats are too fabulous for their own good.
• Alberta Ferretti's collection brought to mind the words "blue lagoon," and thankfully Brooke Shields has nothing to do with it.
• Dolce & Gabbana showed a very different, very plaid side.
• Cathy Horyn banner Giorgio Armani dished up velvets with a side of panty hose, not tights.
• We wish we could reach through our monitors and touch Burberry Prosum's luscious feather dresses.
• Missoni showed signature knits but mixed things up with an interesting combination of fabrics.
• A few of the coats at C'N'C Costume National were very Dr. Spock–meets–Karl Lagerfeld. Also, not sure how we feel about tunic tops on men.
Lilo's freckles bespeckle her hiney
And likely as well her vaginey.
Her breasts are audacious,
Because, though capacious,
The nipples by contrast are tiny!
BY TEDSEZ AT 02/18/08 06:41 PM
@MisterHippity:
There was a young lady named Lindsay
Whose photos were naked and skinsy
Though she looked very fine
In the boobs and behind
Her expression was vapid and ginsy.
BY TEDSEZ AT 02/18/08 08:06 PM
The sad truth about our lovely Lindz:
Her career may be gone with the winds.
But she'll see better days --
She's a hit with the gays,
With a camp value high as Paul Lynde's.
BY MISTERHIPPITY AT 02/18/08 09:32 PM
On LiLo's nude-pic escapade
Let me share an assessment I made:
The freckles on her tits
Outnumber the twits
Who saw the last movie she made
BY MISTERHIPPITY AT 02/18/08 10:47 PM
Lilo's nudity here, to be fair,
Is just part of her drug-rehab care.
First her coke pants she doffed.
Next the coke blouse came off.
Last, she took off her coke underwear!
No Room For Doom [NYP]
• Drew Barrymore graces Vogue's March cover, and yet doesn't quite look like Drew Barrymore. [Just Jared]
• Over the coming months, head Yves St. Laurent designer Stefano Pilati will hand out over a million pamphlets of his latest ad campaign starring Kate Moss in Milan, London, Paris, New York, and Tokyo. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Tyra Banks will interview Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee tomorrow morning on her talk show. [Jezebel]
• Gothloli is a Japanese style of attire that fuses of Gothic and Lolita styles. We think it looks something like seventeenth-century English countryside meets Marilyn Manson, but check out the pics to see if you agree. [Team Sugar]
• Style.com appears to have mistaken model of color Chanel Iman for fellow model of color Jourdan Dunn. Whoo boy. You know where this one's going. [Fashionista]
Britney Spears might have changed lawyers, but she couldn't get the court commissioner to change his tune during a custody hearing today.
Team Britney had been hoping to have some semblance...
Photo: Getty Images
1. Arcade Fire, "All the Umbrellas in London" (Magnetic Fields cover)
Win Butler and friends cover Stephin Merritt in what will surely be remembered as the whitest MP3 of all time. [Deaf Indie Elephants]
2. Holy Fuck, "Lovely Allen (No Age Remix)"
No Age reduce Holy Fuck's instrumental noodling to just a bass line and some R2D2 noises — a dramatic improvement. [Pitchfork]
3. Prodigy, "ABC"
Mobb Deep's soon-to-be-incarcerated half speaks Spanish, sort of. [Nah Right]
4. The National, "Slow Show" (live)
Here's the Boxer track played live in a studio (warning: Actual MP3 is as unexciting as the preceding description). [Stereogum]
5. Young Dro, I Am Legend
We've not yet listened to Young Dro's new mix tape, but it's got to be at least as good as the movie by the same name. [Nah Right]
There's room for only one set of bangs in this town.Photo: Getty Images
In the '90s, supermodels like Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell tried to break away from the runway with roles on the big screen. (Anyone remember Crawford's flop, "Fair Game"? We thought not.) But Klum and Banks redefined the model slash actress cliché and instead created a platform that actually flies: model slash host.
Seriously, thank gawd they stopped trying to do things that required acting talent. (But Karolina Kurkova, we wish you all the best in your big-screen debut in GI Joe.) What's interesting, however, is that Klum gets top mention in this article. This is probably because it's inspired by models.com's list of the world's sexiest models, which ranks Klum number one, and Banks number four, after Gisele Bündchen and Adriana Lima. They may call Klum "Heidi Inc.," but America's Next Top Model is about to launch an unbelievable tenth cycle this week while Project Runway is only in its fourth season. Add to the mix that Banks draws over a million viewers each morning on her daily talk show and we had to wonder if the News was really right in insinuating that Klum is America's top ex-supermodel. Is Klum more successful than ubiquitous Miss Tyra?
To answer this serious question, we decided to take a quantified look at the non-modeling highlights of each woman's career, ranking each on the Fierceness Scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being "absolutely ferocious."
Tyra Banks:
• 1993: Appears on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air looking really hot, in an early-nineties-ish way. Score: 5
• 1997: Publishes first book, Tyra's Beauty Inside and Out. Score: 2
• 2003: ANTM premieres with Tyra performing the theme song. Score: 4
• 2004: Musical career fails when Banks is unable to release album T.Y.R.A. Score: 1
• 2008: Banks walks off of her talk show because she can't stand bickering among the cast of the Bad Girls Club. Score: 1
TOTAL FIERCENESS: 13
Heidi Klum:
• 2001: Appears as an ill-tempered hair model in the movie Blow Dry, which is about a British hairdressing championship. Bold move. Score: 5
• 2004: Klum is featured in James Bond video game Everything or Nothing as the villain. Score: 4
• 2006: Klum's Mouawad jewelry collection debuts on QVC, and most styles sell out in just 30 minutes. Score: 2
• 2006: Klum hosts Germany's Next Top Model, with Banks in the wing as executive producer. Score: 3
• 2007: Sings the sap-tastic song "Wedding Day" with hubby Seal on his new album. Score: 1
TOTAL FIERCENESS: 15
Well, what do you know — sometimes we surprise ourselves. Klum wins, and she is in fact America's Top Ex-Supermodel. We just can't believe how wildly we miscalled this one; we're going to go practice vamping in the bathroom until we regain a shred of our self-confidence…
Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks are models of success [NYDN]
And you thought the Roger Clemens hearings were tense: Barbet Schroeder’s rabbit-hole dive into the world of ego-tripping war-criminal defender Jacques Vergès is a dizzying portrait of the lawyer as a heretical hero. From Algiers to Israel, Nazi Germany to Colombia, this film tracks Vergès and his dizzying rhetoric from one conflagration to the next. He’s the Forrest Gump of terror.
Photo: Joe's DartBlog
Hundreds of Freshman + Dozens of Places to get IDs x Thousands of Delis Where Owners Don't Care If You Are Underage / Limited Entrances And Exits To Dorms That Are Monitored For Safety = Easily Detectable Drunkenness
This makes us worry. Surely our proud Manhattan Ivy Leaguers should be getting busted more frequently. Clearly the school is not working hard enough. Or is it possible that our best and brightest are the second-lamest in all the Ivy League*? That would be pretty devastating.
How Do the Ivies Stack Up on Alcohol Enforcement? [Joe's DartBlog via IvyGate]
*Daily Intel does not advocate underage drinking. As to whether or not we think it is "cool," we plead the Fifth.
Tagline: "From the guys who brought you Superbad."
Translation: "…but with a different onetime indie star directing us."
The verdict: It's not necessarily as though North Carolina–based independent director David Gordon Green's career needed resuscitation; his recent film, Snow Angels, was warmly received at Sundance, and it wasn't so long ago that we were all getting blown away by George Washington and All the Real Girls. Nonetheless, this red-band trailer for summer comedy Pineapple Express reveals that Green has followed Superbad's Greg Mottola in discovering that signing on with Team Apatow is the easiest way to make a hit comedy and retain your indie cred. Will it work? We must admit it's an intriguing match; though the trailer includes funny moments from stars Seth Rogen and James Franco — plus glimpses of such beloved bit players as Gary Cole, Craig Robinson, and Nora Dunn — it's the movie's dreamy, stoned rhythm and its lovely, slow shots that seem the most DGGian, and the most interesting. We predict a monster hit that is in no way predictive of David Gordon Green's future commercial success.
Dutch Kills: Seems that by the time they finish zoning this swath of Long Island City against tall hotels, it'll already be chock-full of 'em … Ground's been broken on too many to stop. [NYDN]
East Harlem: In other critter news, this story about a poodle named Miss Bea — rescued from a closet after so much neglect that her matted, dirty coat became "like a tortoiseshell" — will probably make you cry, barf, or both. [NYDN]
Hell's Kitchen: We must say, we remain fascinated with the charmingly boring blog of this HKer who posts such daily banalities as photos of his dishes in local eateries and accounts of his walks around town. [Hell's Kitchen NYC]
Inwood: The hood might get a special, Chelsea-style separated bike lane connecting the Hudson and Harlem River greenways. Cool, that! [Streetsblog]
Pelham Gardens: Why are huge sinkholes, house-evacuating ground shifts, and gas-line ruptures happening in this part of the northeast Bronx? People are freaked out! [Talk Bronx]
Sunset Park: Greenwood Cemetery is overrun with (mostly non-rabid) raccoons that dig up graves and break into crypts for food! That is so, like, Disney meets Stephen King. [Gothamist]
Williamsburg: Because it mass-produced penicillin during WWII, the big old Pfizer plant, which some are trying to turn into affordable housing, has just been named a National Historical Chemical Landmark. Hm. We're surprised some haunts of our own haven't been given that honor. [Curbed]
Jesse Pasca's My Heart As a Stock Market: Alternative Landscape (B) (2008).Image courtesy of the artist and Mehr Gallery, New York.
Jesse Pasca’s new exhibition of works on paper aestheticize the innermost thoughts of every overcaffeinated, anxiety-ridden, recession-fearing banker. My Heart As a Stock Market pins fluctuations in the artist’s heart rate up against concurrent slips in the Dow, and while we’re no expert in stocks or bonds (or cardiology, for that matter), down is never good. Pasca’s show is up at Chelsea’s Mehr Gallery through March 8. —Rachel Wolff
Two likely Blahnik offenders: Vanity Fair's Hollywood issue and
Sarah Jessica Parker on the set of the Sex and the City movie.Photo: WireImage
Blahnik also earns keeping-it-real points for disliking the ginormous platforms we've been seeing on runways lately, which caused Karen Elson to fall during New York Fashion Week. He also suffers from insomnia, which leaves him compulsively watching movies by his favorite Italian directors in the wee hours. We hope his Visconti affinity steers him clear of the Sex and the City movie — which will undoubtedly feature lots of Manolos and talking about Manolos — because some costumes from that movie are looking a bit scary, and the poor man's already confused enough as is.
The foot man [Times of London]
This roundup of Elizabeth Bishop’s slim but sharp poetic output proves that some writers never produce a bad work. That goes for the selection of her prose (including a wonderfully telling reminiscence of Marianne Moore titled “Efforts of Affection”) and letters included here. In “The Colder the Air,” an early work, she wrote, “We must admire her perfect aim, / this huntress of the winter air / whose level weapon needs no sight, / if it were not that everywhere / her game is sure, her shot is right.” And so we admire Bishop herself.
Cameron shows a little skin — correction: a little of the human tissue that surrounds her hyperalloy combat chassis.Photo courtesy of Fox
Mother Issues
Hot bossy mom Sarah and Jesus-figure, Skywalker-substitute teen son John declare a truce this episode as the drama shifts to daddy issues. Derek Reese, John's uncle from the future, is bleeding out on the dining-room table. John wants to reveal their blood ties; mom suggests that there must be some reason John's future self, leader of the anti-robot brigade, hasn't trusted Derek enough to tell him already. In the end, John, Kanye-like, defers to his moms, and only clears up the future mystery of daddy Kyle Reese's disappearance by telling Derek his brother was a hero who died saving them. But would John have spoken differently if mommy hadn't been in the room?
Derek's near-death experience affords us plenty of flash forwards as he recalls the events that led to him jumping through time to protect the Connors. We finally get a glimpse of John's daddy: This Kyle is far prettier than in the original Terminator, but not very convincing as the sort of hero with the balls to spawn humanity's savior. We have to feel a little bad for jealous Derek, stuck in pretty boy's shadow.
Good thing Sarah's old beau, paramedic Charley Dixon, is around to save Derek's life. Pity, though, that Charley is forced to conclude that all this time travel, robot war, and preventing of the apocalypse means he never really had a chance with Sarah. Or as John's spare daddy.
Robot Issues
Derek does not get on well with our little robot friend Cameron. Seems he was acquainted with robogirl back in the future and didn't like her then either. And — oops! — turns out there's another Andy Goode who also created a thinking, feeling robot mind, but this Andy is still hanging out with the Reeses postapocalypse — and in other words, wasn't killed by Derek at the chess tournament. That's right: Derek told Sarah it wasn't him, but we see that he did shoot Andy #1.
Cameron still needs to find the enemy's missing hand, but she disposes of most of the rest of the Terminator that she killed in the last episode — in a chemical-sprinkling manner, incidentally, that echoed season four of The Wire. (Meanwhile, The Wire's Bubbles, Andre Royo, takes a cameo here as a future soldier.) Charley's response to this gruesome scene? "Little girl, you freak me the hell out. He's a scary robot; you, you're a very scary robot."
Sarah warns Cameron that if she ever hurts Charley she will tear her apart piece by piece. Cameron seems to acquiesce. At this point, we're more concerned about what Cameron and Derek are going to do or have done to each other — and which of them we should be rooting for. As well as the reason for Cameron secretly holding on to the memory chip she removed from the Terminator… —Kristal Hawkins
The proposed waterfront park; sweet bands playing in parking lot not pictured.Photo courtesy of New York City Department of Parks & Recreation
Mandy Moore is pumped up about inspiring her fellow woman.
To that end, the pop star has partnered with Crystal Light to launch a new Website, uPumpItUp.com, designed to provide an online...
Tagline: "And rather than regard humankind as carrying the spark of the divine, they believe we're nothing more than mud animated by lightning."
Translation: See headline.
The Verdict: Paid for by the nuts at the Discovery Institute, Ben Stein's new pro-creationism documentary purports to take a hard look at the controversy among scientists over intelligent design. We didn't expect this seven-minute "supertrailer" to make us think I.D. was any less ridiculous, and it didn't (especially the part when Stein compares its critics to Nazis), but seeing academics like Phillip Pettit, Richard Dawkins, and Kathleen Kennedy Townsend get hoodwinked into appearing in Expelled does make us feel a little guilty for laughing so hard at Borat.
Doc 'Expelled' aims to discredit evolution [Variety]
Britney Spears may not be present for the most recent hearing in her ongoing custody battle Tuesday morning, but just about everyone else in the pop star's life was accounted for in the closed-door...
Photo Courtesy CNBC
In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Scream at sources to get stories, scream at producers to put them on CNBC, and then scream at editors to get more time for stories that I'm writing.
Would you still live here on a $35,000 salary?
Yes, but I would have to stop eating so much at Campagnola and Elaine's.
What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
Chicago in 1999.
Do you give money to panhandlers?
Rarely. I'd rather spend my money on people who work. That's why I'm a good tipper.
What's your drink?
Coffee and martinis.
How often do you prepare your own meals?
Two or three days a week. I worked as a dishwasher through high school and college. It taught me how to cook, and I haven't stopped since.
What's your favorite medication?
Coffee and martinis.
What's hanging above your sofa?
I could be wrong, but I think it's a painting. For details, ask my wife.
How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
Anything over $20. I spend $15 plus $5 tip at Yan and Son on First Avenue near Stuy Town. Yan claims to have been the best barber in Russia and taught his son everything he knows. Both are deadly with a razor.
When's bedtime?
Depends on how many martinis I drink
Which do you prefer: the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
I actually remember hanging out at the old Times Square as a kid with my friends and barely survived. Any more info will get me in trouble. So the short answer is the old Times Square.
What do you think of Donald Trump?
Nice man.
What do you hate most about living in New York?
Traffic. Everything else I can deal with.
Who is your mortal enemy?
I generally see the goodness in all of God's creations.
When's the last time you drove a car?
Last week. Minus the traffic, I love driving in the city.
Who should be the next president?
I'd rather keep people guessing.
Times, Post, or Daily News?
By far, the Post. Forget that it's a great read; the Post actually breaks news: a dying art.
Where do you go to be alone?
I work out a lot, and I love running along side the East River and working out at the park near Houston Street. No one bothers me, not even the panhandlers.
What makes someone a New Yorker?
He/she knows how to properly pronounce Houston Street.
We’re fans of later Helen Mirren, the prim and purse-lipped woman of The Queen and Prime Suspect. But we also adore the young, wickedly sexy actress seen in this collection of her breakthrough made-for-TV flicks, filmed between 1974 and 1982. The Beeb, of course, packs the set with worthy TV adaptations (The Apple Cart, The Changeling), but check out Blue Remembered Hills, an experimental meta-meditation on childhood from Britain’s mad genius Dennis Potter, creator of the Singing Detective.
Courtesy of Paramount Vantage
Over on David Edelstein's Projectionist blog, New York's film critic begins his annual exchange with producer Lynda Obst about this year's Academy Awards. Edelstein wonders if anyone can drink Daniel Day-Lewis's milkshake and also discusses why Atonement doesn't have a chance, why audiences hate No Country (and why the Coens hate critics), and who he hopes will beat "the person–who–calls–herself–Diablo Cody." Check it out, and check back for Obst's reply tonight.
The Oscars: Who Will Drink Whose Milkshake? [Projectionist]
If you're shopping at J.C. Penney, eagles are the new ponies.Photo: americanliving.com
The new line will also be about 15 percent more expensive than Penney's current private-label merchandise, but Penney's people think it will fill a void in the company's "assortment." So, for those Fifth Avenue shoppers looking to cut costs, there's a Long Island J.C. Penney with spanking-new merchandise waiting for you.
No Polo Pony, but Penney’s New Label Is Pure Ralph Lauren Americana [NYT]
Earlier: Luxury Revenues on the Rise [Cut]
Photo: Patrick McMullan
The primary orientation of journalism schools, including ours, is toward conferring skills associated with entry-level practice; almost the entire discourse in journalism education is internal to journalism and concerned with professional norms and practices, rather than with how to understand the world we are supposed to cover….When journalism schools feel moved to take a next step after skills instruction, they usually devote their energies to exhorting the profession to do a better job—a good cause, certainly, and something we do a lot of here. Developing non-skills curriculum generates very little interest in the world of journalism education... The question of what journalism amounts to as a discipline—what distinctive body of knowledge, which intellectual and analytic tools, what way of thinking might be associated with it and might therefore be taught in journalism schools—simply doesn't energize journalism educators, even though every manifesto and mission statement we as a group produce mentions it as a desideratum.
Around an hour after he sent the e-mail, Lemann sent an apology titled, "Freudian slip?" "Make of that mistake what you will," he told the students, again, because he is dying to be judged — not even for just his own shortcomings but those of the profession as a whole. Fascinating! Either that or, you know, he had two files named "Evaluation."
Memos from Columbia Graduate School of Journalism Dean Nicholas Lemann [Romenesko]
Photo: Getty Images
"And for every single person that makes it on stage, it's like a Joseph Campbell journey, an everyman plucked from obscurity to attempt a journey, with obstacles placed in their way." —Drew Carey, probably talking about that mountain-climber game on The Price Is Right [NYT]
"Brian spends at least 93 percent of his life apologizing. He has an idea brain. And he hates himself like we do." —Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof on why he offered Brian K. Vaughan a job [NYT]
"I'm totally hooked on reruns of Friends. I know I shouldn't be. They show them between 5 and 6 every night of the week, and I get a slightly bad temper if I have to miss them, even if I've seen them 20 times. It's like a piece of music you know well but never get tired of." —Tom Wilkinson [Envelope/LAT]
"And so really, what [George Lucas] was saying to me, was: 'Don't let this experience discourage you from what acting can really be about, because that's not what this is.' I just wish I would've figured that out a little sooner." —Hayden Christensen explains why he wasn't very good in the Star Wars prequels [LAT]
"The fact that the guys on SportsCenter play it a little looser — there's a little more humor injected into sports now — that would have helped. But I think if I was doing play-by-play for the Minnesota Twins or something, part of me would be like, 'Ah, I should have tried comedy.'" —Will Ferrell on not pursuing a career in sportscasting [NYP]
The most exclusive girl in Milan.Photo: Imaxtree
SALES:
Clothes
Through 3/2: Um, Barneys. As in, the Barneys New York Warehouse Sale, where you'll get your entire wardrobe for the next year for a fraction of the price. Markdowns on Lanvin, Jil Sander, Balenciaga, Manolo … you get the idea. And if you don't at this point, we're not sure we can help you. 255 W. 17th St., nr. Seventh Ave.; 2/14–2/15 (8–9); weekdays (10–9); weekends (10–7).
Through 2/20: Clothes and accessories from Marc by Marc Jacobs, Hanii Y, and Milly are $50 to $200 at Diane T; that’s 30 to 60 percent off. 174 Court St., nr. Bergen St., Cobble Hill, Brooklyn (718-923-5777); A.E., M.C., V.; Tues.–Fri. (11–7:30); Sat. (11–6:30); Sun. (1–5:30).
Shoes
Through 2/29: Chuckies' drool-worthy shoes from Marni, Dolce & Gabbana, and Prada are 65 percent off. Christian Dior black stiletto booties with mink trim were $1,150 but are now just over $400. 1073 Third Ave., nr. 63rd St. (212-593-9898); A.E., M.C., V.; Mon.–Thurs. (10:45–7:45); Fri. (10–7); Sat. (10:45–7:30); Sun. (12:30–7).
Home
Through 2/24: Armani Casa’s sleek breakfast trays (the Susana is now $174), armchairs (the Rimbaud floor sample is now $3,480), and stools (the Oscar is now $1,000) are 20 to 65 percent off. 97 Greene St., nr. Prince St. (212-334-1271); Tues.–Sat. (11–7); Sun. (noon–6); Monday by appointment.
Through 2/24: ABC Carpet & Home’s Manhattan location is celebrating the Chinese New Year by reducing prices on vintage Chinese Art Deco (a green floral rug is now $4,999) and antique Peking rugs. 888 Broadway, at 19th St. (212-473-3000); A.E., M.C., V.; Mon.–Fri. (10–8); Sat. (10–7); Sun. (11–6:30).
Through 3/9: Mxyplyzyk’s cheery stock of home accessories from Chilewich, Umbra, and Lexon is 20 percent off; a hanging pendant lamp was $175 but is now $140. 125 Greenwich Ave., nr. 13th St. (212-989-4300); A.E., M.C., V.; Mon.–Sat. (11–7;) Sun. (noon–5).
For more listings, read our Sales & Bargains page.
Since we already saw the Spice Girls perform in Newark last week, we didn't get around to seeing them at Madison Square Garden last night. And, boy, are we sorry. During a heartfelt rendition of "Mama," the girls pulled their real-life children onstage. Baby Spice brought her son Beau up, Scary Spice held on to tiny Angel Iris, and Ginger had her daughter Bluebell. All of them are adorable and under the age of 2. But the spotlight was stolen by the Beckham kids. As Posh Spice brought forward her three boys, little Cruz broke away from Brooklyn and Romeo and began break-dancing. He kicked, he weaved, he even spun on his head. Predictably, the crowd went insane. We're predicting he'll be the newest Beckham hero, just in time for his third birthday tomorrow! Click above to watch his moves (the action starts at about 3:30), and imagine just how spectacular he's going to turn out when he gets to be Lourdes's age.
Where Did He Get Such Talent? [DListed]
Earlier: The Spice Girls Set List, as Interpreted By Hamish Bowles
The Sartorialist, openly judging you.Photo: WireImage
3 Editors on Display
• Hamish Bowles, of Vogue, dashing as ever in a gray suit with a spring-green scarf.
• French Vogue's Carine Roitfeld, looking ass-kickingly chic in all black.
• Lynn Yaeger, of the Village Voice, toting a Fendi bag.
4 Models on Display
• Jessica Stam, sporting a knit beret, Ray Bans, and a black Balenciaga bag.
• Sheila Marquez, pairing brown leather ankle boots with a leather vest worn over a billowing white blouse.
• Agyness Deyn, dark-haired as she was during Milan's 2007 shows, and wearing nothing less than electric-blue pants.
• Judith Bedard, riding a bicycle in black skinny pants with her agency book in the basket.
For the rest of you who aren’t editors or models but are nonetheless yearning for a moment of glory on Schuman's blog, a tip: Go for a bold accessory. Many of the girls pictured were wearing brightly colored shoes or chunky belts, and men were often snapped in with colorful ties or scarves. Otherwise, Schuman leans toward the sleek-leather-jacket-and-dark-sunglasses look. —Kendall Herbst
LAW
• Jane Fonda's vocabulary malfunction on NBC's Today show last week might influence the legal battle between CBS and the FCC over Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction in her 2004 Super Bowl halftime appearance. [Legal Intelligencer]
• New York City criminal-defense lawyer Jeffrey Schwartz receives support for representing the accused murderer of a 7-year-old girl. [NYT]
• Are television shows the reason lawyers get a bad rap? [Law.com]
FINANCE
• Wall Street prepares itself for more multi-billion-dollar losses: "The fourth quarter was terrible, but you had strong investment banking revenues," writes analyst Meredith Whitney. "Now you've had a bad December, a worse January and an even worse February." [NYT]
• Oops! Credit Suisse noticed some pricing errors on bonds. The result? The bank's first-quarter profits will be cut by $1 billion. [Marketbeat/WSJ]
• Prada and Ferragamo are moving ahead with IPO plans despite the floundering stock market. [WWD]
MEDIA
• Was the New York Times a "bit" misleading with its headline about Barack Obama's drug use? [NYer]
• Employment in the media industry is at a fifteen-year low. [Mixed Media/Portfolio]
• A former People magazine reporter calls for the tabloids to stop harassing Britney Spears, who "might" be suffering from a mental illness. [Mixed Media/Portfolio]
Pink's marriage was apparently not a feel-good time.
The pop-punk princess and her husband of just two years, the motocross-racing, "Surreal Life"-starring Carey Hart, have separated....
Singer, mother, inspiration for jewelry.Photo: Getty Images
"We did it by demand — we've always had a younger following... She was a real coup for us. She's our longest-term regular client and the right age for the brand. We think she's in the most glamorous period of her life right now."
Aguilera will appear in Shattered's Hitchcock-inspired ad campaign, breaking in the April issue of W. The silver pieces are inlaid with gemstones to look like bits of stained glass from Gothic church windows. Debuting at Baselworld in Switzerland early next month, the line will hit Neiman Marcus exclusively in the spring, then Bergdorf Goodman and fifteen other stores.
Let this be proof celebrities can have a piece of the pie in the fashion business without acting like they cooked up the whole thing. Plus, we'd rather see more of them bolster the careers of lesser-known designers. Then we wouldn't have to risk wearing out our eyeballs from rolling them so much.
Christina Aguilera Inspires Stephen Webster Silver Line [WWD]
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