Britney Spears is in a padded room, deemed by a court-appointed lawyer too crazy to understand her own court case, but the judge wants to check with a doctor to be extra sure she's mentally unfit because apparently he doesn't have access to television, print media, the Internet, radio or anyone who has consumed any media whatsoever at any point in the past two years.
For the two weeks Spears is in the hospital, her dad retains control of her lawyers, medical situation and fast-dwindling supply of money, but she's bravely fighting to put all that in the hands of this buddy of her hanger-on who can't contact her due to a perfectly innocent restraining order.
Meanwhile, Jennifer Aniston heroically endures Angelina Jolie's pregnancy by Brad Pitt, even though Jolie is clearly trying to humiliate her though brazen fertility. [ShowbizSpy]
Married Daniel Baldwin is "inappropriate" with an adult film star, checks out of rehab, and worrywart Dr. Drew is all furrowed in the brow. [ET]
People Magazine travels to Australia to discover the shocking truth: Heath "Ledger's father Kim and other relatives appeared solemn and tired" after burying their son and taking a 20-hour flight home. [People]
Paris Hilton going on The L Word!, doesn't know "what kind of character I'll be playing" since her dramatic range allows for so many options. [Parade via GaySocialites]
Ashton Kutcher and Bruce Willis have a weird relationship. Surprising. [P6]
Hopefully you haven't voted yet, because Hillary Clinton just picked up a key endorsement from rapper 50 Cent, who notes that not only does he think "she could do a good job" but also that she won't go down in a hail of gunfire, killed by some redneck with an assault weapon. Bill O'Reilly sagely notes how far fetched this scenario is.
So there are three days left in the week, work is unrelenting, it's still wintertime and God knows what they're doing to Britney in that awful hospital. Now's the time to consider working as a Sydney lifeguard! It's summer down there now, they're recruiting, and the Australian dollar is near a five-year high against our worthless American greenbacks. Also, the lifeguards are very gay friendly, close to 150 of them march in the annual Mardi Gras parade. And dance. And prance. Actually, forget moving to Australia, just watch this awesome video of gay Australian lifeguards, a recruiting flick from which we've helpfully removed all the boring recruiting stuff and cut, uh, straight to the gay.
West advises all of us, tautologically, that there is nothing wrong with being used. In the one-page section "Get use [sic] to being used!," West writes, "To use is necessary. And if you can't be used, then you're useless." Webster could not have said it better himself.
In "Be Leery Of The Free Gift Bad," West explains how you don't want to ever owe anyone anything, because that will leave you in "a position of weakness." Like this one time, when Kanye was talking to a sucka MC:
I asked someone to do a part on my album. He agrees and said, "I'm not even going to charge you," as if he was doing me a favor, "But, when I'm working on my album, I want you to do a verse for me."
I responded with, "NO! I want to pay you for what I asked you to do and we'll talk about that verse when the time comes. Thank You And You're Welcome!"
Title shout out!
The last excerpted section, "The Missing Bannister Theory," is about how if you're walking down the street, it's no problem to walk straight, but if you're walking down the street 100 stories high you'll probably fall to your death, because all you can think about is how you wish you had a banister, which is so true.
But that's not all the irony! Fear of piracy can also kill a film's Oscar chances. Baio noted in last year's piracy roundup that late and broken screeners probably killed Munich's Oscar shot in 2005, and that Crash won Best Picture after sending screeners to all the voters it could, while Disney took such anti-piracy pains that over a fourth of Academy voters didn't even watch its screeners, and Narnia only won Best Makeup.
Since some studios seem willing to kill their chances at an Oscar just to keep leaks off the Internet, I want to know: How many of you actually pirate movies online?
Rhodes hints he planned to attend Jacobs' Fashion Week show Monday:
The news just wants drama, come on, why do you think the article was released so perfectly a week before his fashion show here in New York. Drama. People keep asking me, why am i going to the show if there wasn't any secret love affair, Cuz we are just friends!
The troubled pop star "clearly does not understand the nature of the proceedings and her rights," a mental health expert testified Monday...
A Christie's employee holds a painting by Spanish artist Pablo Picasso entitled 'Femme au Chapeau',1938, at the Christie's auction house impressionist and modern art sale in London in January 2008. More... Source: Infocious RSS raw feed - channel BNImagesEnter | 5 Feb 2008 | 12:02 am
Amy Winehouse took a time-out from rehab Monday to look into making some travel plans.
The troubled songbird visited the U.S. Embassy in London to discuss obtaining a visa so that she could...
The "Hannah Montana" rule of economics: If you charge more money for your tickets than Jessica Alba, you can make more money.
And she did.
The 3D concert movie "Hannah...
He might be AARP bait, but don't be fooled: Sylvester Stallone has a few more rounds left in him.
Hot off the box-office success of his revived "Rocky" and "Rambo" franchises,...
Herbie Hancock has been here before. The jazzman has 10 Grammy wins to go along with countless other honors. But he was still shocked when his latest work, "River: The Joni Letters," was nominated for album of the year.
As if the news couldn't get worse for Britney Spears...
E! News has confirmed that the singer's father and newly appointed coconservator of her estate, Jamie Spears, filed a theft...
That wasn't a Super Bowl. That was a giant-size Super Bowl.
Sunday's nail-biter of a game, which wasn't decided until the last minute, was watched, on average, by 97.5 million,...
After attending a second memorial for their son and brother in Hollywood over the weekend, Heath Ledger's family will reportedly bid the actor a final goodbye this week at a private funeral in his...
On the bright side, at least this time around Britney Spears actually has a valid reason not to show up for her court hearings.
While the 26-year-old singer remains holed up at UCLA Medical...
First "Lost" returns to the small screen with a vengeance. Then the burglar who held Josh Holloway and his wife at gunpoint agrees to spend 30 years behind bars? Not a bad week for the actor.
Ruben...
Heath Ledger's hometown prepared Monday for the arrival of his remains, while locals expressed dismay at speculation in the media that the actor had used drugs. Source: FOXNews.com | 4 Feb 2008 | 5:35 pm
Optimism reigned among Academy Awards nominees both on their films' prospects and the chances that Hollywood's crippling writers strike will end in time for the Oscar show to go on as planned. Source: FOXNews.com | 4 Feb 2008 | 3:26 pm
"Juno" star Ellen Page and "Enchanted" actress Amy Adams are among the 10 hot young starlets who grace the pages of the annual Hollywood Issue of Vanity Fair. Source: FOXNews.com | 4 Feb 2008 | 2:36 pm
A court commissioner on Monday extended the temporary conservatorship of Britney Spears to her father and an attorney until Feb. 14 and appointed a physician to evaluate her competence to make decisions. Source: FOXNews.com | 4 Feb 2008 | 12:59 pm
Rolling Stone's new guide to the best in pop culture. Plus: An
exclusive Q&A with "Lost" star Michael Emerson
10. INTERNET
Cinematic Titanic
On Cinematic Titanic.com, Mystery Science Theater
3000 creator Joel Hodgson and his sarcastic sidekicks riff on
Z?grade monster movies. You can order a DVD of their commentary on
The Oozing Skull (above), a 1972 flick about an alien
seeking a new body: ?I want to live . . . ,? croaks one
strange-looking victim, and the peanut gallery quips, ?. . . as a
she-male!?
Amy Winehouse took a time-out from rehab Monday to look into making some travel plans.
The troubled songbird visited the U.S. Embassy in London to discuss obtaining a visa so that she could...
The "Hannah Montana" rule of economics: If you charge more money for your tickets than Jessica Alba, you can make more money.
And she did.
The 3D concert movie "Hannah...
He might be AARP bait, but don't be fooled: Sylvester Stallone has a few more rounds left in him.
Hot off the box-office success of his revived "Rocky" and "Rambo" franchises,...
As if the news couldn't get worse for Britney Spears...
E! News has confirmed that the singer's father and newly appointed coconservator of her estate, Jamie Spears, filed a theft...
That wasn't a Super Bowl. That was a giant-size Super Bowl.
Sunday's nail-biter of a game, which wasn't decided until the last minute, was watched, on average, by 97.5 million,...
After attending a second memorial for their son and brother in Hollywood over the weekend, Heath Ledger's family will reportedly bid the actor a final goodbye this week at a private funeral in his...
On the bright side, at least this time around Britney Spears actually has a valid reason not to show up for her court hearings.
While the 26-year-old singer remains holed up at UCLA Medical...
First "Lost" returns to the small screen with a vengeance. Then the burglar who held Josh Holloway and his wife at gunpoint agrees to spend 30 years behind bars? Not a bad week for the actor.
Ruben...
